


Always Read The Fine Print

by thejammys



Series: artfp verse [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dubious Consent, FrostIron - Freeform, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Non Consensual, Rape, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:22:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 175,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejammys/pseuds/thejammys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Frostiron College AU] Tony and Loki are paired together on a research project that requires them to spend ridiculous amounts of time together. Loki dislikes Tony immediately and Tony is too smitten with Loki to care. Pairing: Tony/ Loki</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beware Pink-Spotted Leopard Harpies

When Loki Odinson entered his freshman year at Sregneva University he was a veritable typhoon of joy. He hopped into his older brother’s car with a big, shit-eating grin on his face, screamed “Onward!” then ignored the raised eyebrow his sibling directed at him and practically bounced in the seat the entire drive to campus (all ten minutes). He was so looking forward to getting out of the house and moving into a place where he could call all the shots: he could eat what he wanted, sleep when he wanted, and spend time doing what he wanted. Loki technically could have done that during high school but he had this uncontrollable urge to please his parents, so he had been largely a goody-two shoes, recluse during the previous four years. But when he got to college his parents would only know about his grades and whether or not he kept out of jail and this left a lot of room for Loki to do all the things he had always wanted to: get drunk (just once and on a Friday – he wasn’t crazy) and join the choir. Fucking badass. 

Loki’s joy only lasted the ten minutes it took to arrive on campus. There was chaos everywhere: new students and parents were flitting about to different tables and booths trying to get their lives in order, there were school colors – red and gold – adorning everything, and there was generally a lot of noise. After Loki took in his surroundings he remembered that he hates people and has been grumpy ever since. 

His freshmen year had passed very quickly. He had joined the choir, and told absolutely no one about it although his best friend had found out and chided him for not confiding in her sooner. He had gotten drunk, on a Friday, with said best friend and they watched Kung Pow and made friendship bracelets out of string. They came out looking like shit, due to their incredible levels of inebriation, but they never took them off after that night. Loki had a 4.0 GPA, much to his parent’s pleasure, and they had rewarded him with a car. It was a ten-year-old, standard, Mazda and Loki loved it like a person. He went to every one of the Thor’s football games, partly to be a loving, supportive brother and partly because he was actually quite proud of what an athlete Thor was. He and Thor had lunch together every Monday and only scheduled it because they were both so busy. Loki made a few miscellaneous friends in his introductory psychology classes and he had attended their parties, but his freshman year passed much like high school: he ate well, he kept up his grades and he made good, sensible decisions. At the end of the year one of his professor’s had approached him about potentially submitting a proposal for a research grant that would fulfill and independent study course. Loki was fairly sure that he wanted to major in psychology and knew that this would really make his parents proud, so he had submitted a proposal, for a topic he was very interested in, without reading the fine print. That ‘fine print’ was a stipulation that Loki would agree to work with another student, not necessarily from the psychology department. When Loki received the e-mail saying his proposal had been accepted he – again – read the word ‘Congratulations’, immediately called his mother and ignored the rest of the e-mail. It was not until Thor, of all people, approached him the day before they were to move back to campus that Loki had any idea at all he was working with someone else. The youngest Odinson was not pleased. 

Today, the day before term started, Loki was headed to a meeting to meet the board that was funding his project, as well as his professor’s who had approved it, and the blob he was supposed to work with. He still had no idea who this person was. The woman who guided him toward the administration building was secretary to the president of the college. Loki did not like her. 

“It is a very big honor for a sophomore to be awarded a research grant,” the woman whispered excitedly. She was a little too close to Loki’s face for his liking and he could see the way her pink lipstick was rubbing off on her teeth. Who walks around like that? Someone should have pointed that out to her or she should be checking for it or something! It’s like walking around with food in between one’s teeth: disgusting and unsightly. A small voice in Loki’s head pointed out that he could very easily be the person to point this out to her, especially since he was taking such personal offense to it, but he was in a spiteful mood and the little voice could suck it. 

“It has only happened twice before in the entire history of the school. Of course, the board trusts that you will be reliable – we know your father, of course,” she continued in her almost breathless way. Was this woman tired from walking down the hallway? Out of shape and sporting tacky pink lipstick on her teeth. Loki did not like this woman. 

“When the school received your and your brother’s applications we were just so excited! Your father has done a lot of good for this community over the last twenty years. It was so generous of him to donate all of that money to the athletic department! Of course, your brother would have made the varsity team even without the donation but it certainly made a lot of parents and players very happy! Of course –”

Does this woman know other words besides ‘of course’?!

“We were just as delighted when you sent in that research proposal. It is such a shame that academics are not always as celebrated as athletics…”

Loki was going to punch this woman. 

They arrived at their destination just as the dark haired teen was weighing the pros and cons of hitting her in the mouth and claiming that it was an attempt to remove the lipstick. She turned to face Loki full on with that ridiculous grin that had not left her mouth in the last ten minutes. The campus was too big if students could be forced into awkward ten minute long walks with faculty members just trying to get from one building to another. Why this woman wanted to meet him at the psychology building and walk over was a mystery. Loki was staring at her heels, which had made the most horrid noise on the polished floors of the administration building they currently stood in. The nineteen year old was of the opinion that unless a person could walk in heels correctly they had absolutely no business wearing them. Personally, he had the grace and gate to pull off heels but hated them because they were uncomfortable. Also heels did not go with his outfits. And he was a boy. 

“Well, are you excited to meet your research partner?” she questioned in that same breathless almost hysterical way. 

Loki looked up from her horrid leopard print shoes and shrugged at her. He was being difficult on purpose. Today had been a long and particularly taxing day. He had woken up far too early because the gods had decided that thunder was the best alarm clock and it is best to start off the day terrified and confused as to why it sounded like your dorm was being bombed - and that was at 5:00 a.m. Then he had accidentally started to eat a rotten apple (that’s what he gets for trying to buy fruit in bulk) and after he spent a good hour in the bathroom retching over the toilet (only partly because of natural functions, it was mostly a desire to make sure all of the horrid apple was out of his system – he was a dramatic boy!) he decided to go for a run. Unfortunately the ground was so soaked he could not take his usual path through the woods located behind the football fields and was instead forced to run on the track with the other students. This was really not that big of a deal, but Loki really hated to exercise in front of other people. He knew that he was in shape and there was nothing to be embarrassed about, but there was something about breathing heavily and sweating and having flushed cheeks that just seemed so personal to him and he did not like sharing that with other people. By the time he was back in his dorm is was 9:00 a.m. He had showered (in the gang bath, because sophomores still lived in dorms), and forgotten his towel in his room. Loki never forgot his towel. So he pulled his dry clothes over his soaking body and attempted to sprint back to his room – but his older brother spotted him and insisted on having an unnecessarily long chat in the hallway DESPITE the fact that they had their standing lunch date on Mondays and they would see each other in a few hours anyway. Now, at 11:00 a.m. he had his meeting. 

Loki not only had no idea who the other student was – he also had no idea why in the hell they were working together. The only thing he knew about this person was that they were in the engineering department. What ever the fuck engineering and psychology had to do with each other was a mystery to Loki. He hated the idea that he was going to be accountable to someone else during this process – but that’s what he gets for not reading the fine print. Fuck life for being that way. 

Loki realized that the woman was waving her hand in front of his face with a concerned expression. Oops – they had been standing there for five minutes while his internal monologue raged. 

“Are you alright?” she questioned, moving like she was going to put a hand on his shoulder. 

Loki moved away as subtly as he could and nodded once more. “I’m ready to go in now. I just had to mentally prepare myself…”

“Oh. Oh… okay…” the woman replied slowly giving him a look out of the corner of her eye. She probably thought he was a freak and that made Loki smile. Act like a weirdo and people will leave you ALONE. 

It wasn’t that Loki was friendless, or that he exclusively enjoyed solitude, no he very much loved his previously mentioned best friend Natasha Romanov; whom he had met during freshmen orientation. They immediately bonded over their mutual hatred of people. She was quick, witty, and fierce and Loki loved how she always called him on his bullshit. In the brief year that he had known her she had already helped him grow up more than she knew. The pair did almost everything together: study, watch movies, eat meals, occasionally sleep and, on one very drunk night (but it was a Friday so that makes it okay), go to the bathroom. (Neither of them had been as weirded out as they should have been by that – but that story is for another time). 

The woman, although Loki preferred to think of her as a pink-spotted leopard harpy, opened the large wooden door in front of them and stepped through. “I have our grant recipient! He is so excited to meet everyone!” she called as she waddled into the room. 

Lies! Screamed the little voice in Loki’s head. I never said I was excited about anything! This woman must be punished… I’m sneezing on her when this is over…

Loki’s eyes swept around as he took in the room before him: grand, expensively furnished, everything was either hard, polished mahogany or gold plated, and it smelled like leather and money. Loki was ashamed to admit that he liked those smells because they reminded him of his father. What had happened in his childhood to make him so slavishly devoted to his parents?! When his eyes landed on the board members he gave a cheery smile and tried to look charming. He recognized his professors and was comforted by their presence. He did not, however, see any other students. 

“Well the other student has not yet arrived, but Loki you can go ahead and sign your part of the grant contract. It simply states that you need to complete your research within the allotted time and all that,” said one of the board members through his walrus sized mustache. 

Loki nodded and signed it without thinking. It did not occur to him that there was probably fine print in there he should be paying attention to. 

The next several minutes passed with Loki standing awkwardly trying to appear confident, his professors talking to each other about their fall semester thesis students and the board members discussing their summers (a lot of them involved country clubs and yachts – barf). The generally calm atmosphere of the room was interrupted by a student bursting through the door. He was wearing grease-stained pants and a black tank top. His hair was disheveled and he looked like he had sprinted here and had probably not bathed or slept in days. Loki did not like this student. 

“Sorry! I was caught up in the engineering lab, we just got this new laser and I was playing and I wasn’t looking at the clock and then my professor had to come yell at me, they aren’t coming by the way and then I sprinted over– oh hey Mr. Johnson, how you doin’?” This male said all of this in one breath and directed his question to one of the board members who was glaring at him. 

“It would serve you well in life to arrive on time and well-kempt to meetings with people giving you money,” the man, apparently called Johnson, replied. “Your father would be very disappointed.”

The student visibly crumpled at that – but his expression steeled itself again so quickly that Loki had to wonder if he was the only one who noticed it. 

“Well then it’s a good thing he’s not here,” the man snipped back before turning to face Loki. “Are you my assistant?”

Loki almost burst into flames. He opened his mouth to give some sort of angry retort but ended up sputtering instead. 

“Silver tongue turn to lead?” the man said with a wink. “I’m just kidding – I know you’re not my assistant. My name’s Tony,” he said through a grin, reaching his hand out for Loki to shake. 

Had there not been important people in the room he would have probably bitten this man. Or maybe not bitten because Loki was not a rabid animal, but he would have done something. Why were all of his comebacks suddenly lost to him?! There was something so incredibly infuriating about this man – Tony - on a purely base level that Loki found himself put out simply by being near him. As it was, there were important people in the room so he extended his own hand to shake the one being offered to him. “Loki,” he said quietly. 

“That’s a weird name,” Tony replied off handedly while Loki gaped next to him. He turned to face the board members and asked, “So what do you need me to do? I wanna get back to my laser!” His eyebrows wiggled a little when he said laser. 

The board members all grumbled to each other and Loki’s professor’s looked horrified that a student would speak to his superiors this way. The Johnson man (hehe) slid Tony’s contract over the table towards him. 

“Just sign this.”

Tony did exactly as Loki had and signed the thing immediately without giving the text above the blank spot for a signature a second glance. When he put the pen back he clapped his hands together and asked, “So am I good, then?”

Loki did not like this student. 

“There’s just one thing we want to make clear to the both of you,” another board member began as he stood. “You are working together because you are the son’s of very influential men in this community,”

Ahh, there it is. 

“This makes the university look very good to see you working together, so it is absolutely imperative that you submit those time cards and provide proper documentation,” he finished grimly. 

Loki had no idea what they were talking about but Tony got there first. “Time cards?” he asked. 

The board members scowled. “You just signed a contract stating you agreed to them! Good god man - take this seriously!” 

Tony blanched and glanced at Loki to see if he had known about the time cards. Of course, Loki hadn’t, but he settled for giving Tony a disappointed headshake. 

“You will both be required to spend at least 15 hours a week together working and we will need documentation of what you worked on every week. These will be submitted to your advising professor,” 

It was possible that Tony and Loki’s hearts both stopped at that moment, but Loki wasn’t feeling generous so his heart stopped when he heard that. 15 hours a week?! That was ridiculous! LOKI HATED PEOPLE. 

“We look forward to the work you boys produce,” a board member said as he nodded toward the door. 

The boys nodded numbly and took their exit. Once they were on the other side of the door Loki turned to Tony to let him know exactly how this was going to work, but once again the engineer got there first. He had pulled out his phone and was presenting it to the dark haired man in front of him. 

“Here, put your number in my phone and I’ll text you later today so we can work out our schedules. I would do it now but I really want to get back to that laser,” he explained in that same one-breath way. 

Tony had a weird phone. 

Once his number had been forfeited to Tony’s technology he opened his mouth to speak again only to be interrupted once more. 

“I guess Loki’s kind of a cute name. It’s weird though. Listen, I don’t know about you but I didn’t really read through the proposal or anything that told me I had to work with someone else – so this was kind of a shock,” he rambled. “I’m glad I got someone handsome though, it will make our long nights so much easier to deal with. Anyway – I’m gonna go, I’ll text you later!” he said before running off in the opposite direction towards his precious laser. 

Loki stood there dumbfounded. He had only said one word to the other man and it had been his name. And what the hell guy?! Who flirts like that with their research partner? ‘I got someone handsome’ Loki barked out a laugh that he was almost certain startled the board members on the other side of the door. This Tony did not ‘get’ him. The dark haired teen scowled to himself in the empty hallway of the administration building and for the hundredth time that day cursed himself for not reading the damn fine print. 

Fuck sophomore year.


	2. Bacon Showers and Egg Rolls For Loki

Loki had returned to his dorm in a huff. That meeting had riled him up so much that, were it not for his lunch date with Thor, he would go for another run. Loki was not an athlete by any means, but he liked running because of the alone time it provided him. Often, after he had run a few miles through the woods, he would find the flattest area of grass he could and he would stretch and do yoga. This was another reason he did not like to exercise in front of people – he thought he looked foolish doing yoga. 

Loki entered his room with every intention of ranting to his roommate about Tony (whose last name he realized he had not learned) but the other male was not there. Loki adored his roommate. Bruce Banner was a chemistry student, so the two did not have any classes together, but they functioned extremely well as living partners. They were both clean, tidy people and with the exception of Loki’s occasional rant they were both quiet and introverted. What Loki loved most about Bruce was his incredibly calming presence. He had a way of making everyone around him feel peaceful and content. He was one of those people who gave the impression that everyone could go to him with their problems and he would have the best advice. Loki knew first hand that Bruce was an excellent listener and tried to make sure that he returned the favor as often as he roommate needed. As it was though, Bruce was not much of a talker, but he loved to listen to Loki bitch about other students. There had been many times their freshman year when Bruce would come home, put his stuff down and say in his exhausted voice, “Okay, I want to hear some bitching,” and his roommate would happily oblige. Loki hated people, but he liked Bruce. 

He dramatically threw himself on his bed and let out a long sigh. Loki’s bed was one of the most magical things in the world. He believed very strongly in the importance of comfortable bedding, and the person in charge of purchasing his bedding, his mother, fortunately agreed with him. His mattress pad was 4 inches thick and looked ridiculous without sheets on, but the moment Loki laid down he was in cloud heaven. He also didn’t give a damn if anyone judged him for his bedding because they were probably just cranky from their terrible sleep. Divas need good bedding and Loki was a diva. Before he could get too comfortable though Loki’s text alert went off. He fished his phone out of his pocket and saw that it was his brother. 

“I’m in the cafeteria now, I got hungry :)” 

“Just as well,” Loki thought as he swung himself out of his magical bed. Too much time in there and he would have fallen asleep and missed lunch entirely. 

\-------------

Thor Odinson had changed his major three times when he started sophomore year. When he began his college career as a plucky young freshman he was certain that he would major in football. He had not informed anyone, out loud, of his intentions and it was not until after a particularly embarrassing first meeting with his advisor that he learned students could not major in football. The advisor also thought it would be appropriate to interrogate the boy as to how he was accepted into such a prestigious school. The blond quickly changed his his major to sports medicine, thinking this was the college’s clever way of being sneaky and allowing students to major in sports while calling it something fancy. He assumed his advisor was simply not aware of this neat little trick and made a mental note to tell them that he could in fact major in football and ‘who was the idiot now!?’ and all that. Thor went through his entire first semester taking his introductory courses and pumping himself up to start taking his special “football classes” with a foolish level of optimism in his heart. It was not until he and his brother had gone home for the holidays and Loki had taken to reviewing his brother’s major catalogue and *not so politely informed him that sports medicine actually involved a lot of science classes and nothing close to “running around for credit” that Thor realized this was not his calling either. He was determined, however, to find a way to major in football. In the meantime he switched his major to Business because several of his varsity teammates were also business majors and at least he could take classes with them while he tried to figure out a way to make his plans a reality. Thor failed those classes though (who knew that Economics and Accounting would involve so much math!?) (Loki probably), and after taking some extra classes over the summer to catch up decided that business was not for him either! So he switched to psychology so he could take classes with his little brother as he continued his fight. The problem was that Loki was already halfway through his degree and in the advanced level courses by the time they started sophomore year and Thor was just now taking Psych 101. At the very least though, Loki would be able to help him if he ran into trouble. The youngest of the brothers had encouraged the older to be realistic about his football dreams and find an actual major to pursue so that he did not waste time or get stuck as a fifth year senior, but Thor was nothing if not determined and so he persisted. His stubbornness was something he had in common with his younger sibling, and as much as it annoyed Loki at times, he also found it endearing. 

Loki adored his older brother. They had been best friends ever since they were toddlers (their mother claimed that their friendship started when Loki was still a baby but neither of them could confirm this and always told their mother so). Whenever either of the boys received an award, learned something new, or created something brilliant it was each other that they ran to first. When Thor made the varsity football team as a freshman is was his brother he called in breathless excitement and demanded to know the location of so he could have a congratulatory hug, and when Loki got into varsity choir it was he brother he called and then immediately swore to secrecy. The brothers had gone from playing make-believe in their backyard; pretending to be gods and heroes, to video-games that Loki never really loved but would play because Thor did, and now that they were in college they had settled into a comfortable routine that usually involved the elder of the brothers with his hands glued to a controller and the younger with his wrapped around a book as they sat next to each other. Loki did not like to spend a lot of time in Thor’s dorm room, because he claimed it smelled like sweat and disappointment, but he did make a point at least once a week to trek over there and just physically be near his sibling while they entertained themselves. Their hang out time was in addition to their weekly lunch date that the boys were currently attending.

“Loki you look harassed, did your meeting this morning not go well?” Thor questioned through his mouth full of half-chewed bacon. The grease around his lips resembled a kind of balm and gave the blond a particularly ridiculous look. 

The corner of Loki’s mouth tugged upward a little at his brother’s display of concern. One thing he could always count on with Thor was that his brother would always take his side. No matter what. Thor had lost friends over that particular life choice, been punished in excess by their parents on more than one occasion and was even suspended from school once after beating the tar out of a boy who had dared accuse his darling little brother of being excessively feminine (and both brothers knew that Loki was but it was still douchey of the boy to say it) – and through every consequence Thor continued to side with his younger sibling. 

Loki sighed as he set his tray down in front of his brother’s and seated himself on the cool, plastic cafeteria chair. He delicately picked at his grapes before he responded. Loki’s grapes always went through two screening processes: one, when they were selected for placement on his plate – were they in tact, perfectly ripe, dry and cold? Good. Then he would review them again before placing them in his mouth, because Loki is a fruit diva. “No, no the meeting itself went fine, but my lab partner does not inspire optimism,” he answered with a very deliberate sigh. Never let it be said that Loki contains his dramatics. He popped one of the grapes into his mouth as he met Thor’s gaze and waited for his brother to question him further. 

“Who iv id?” Thor asked through a mouth stuffed with even more bacon. 

“Tony something. Some kid in the engine-”

“Oh, Tony Stark!” Thor exclaimed a little too suddenly sending bits of bacon flying at his brother’s face. It would have been amusing to anyone else, but the little raven-haired diva did not care for this. 

“What is the matter with you?!” he screeched as he jumped up a little and furiously wiped the saliva-dipped fried-animal off of his face. 

Unfortunately this made Thor laugh and his hands did not fly up in time to catch the bacon that shot out at his brother once more. 

This time Loki did not screech. He just fixed Thor with a deadly look and said in a very serious voice, “I’m going to kill you.”

Thor fought to swallow his food before he laughed again. “I am sorry, Loki. You know I was not intending to spray you. I’m sorry I got food in your hair,” he laughed again as his brother’s face read panic and his hands flew to his dark locks. “Now, Tony! He’s a good guy. I met him last year at a party. He is very intelligent, if I recall correctly.”

Loki just continued to glare at his brother. “I don’t like him,” he grumbled as he continued to wipe his face clean of Thor’s mess. 

Thor grinned at his cranky little brother. He knew perfectly well that Loki did not like anyone, but he found it amusing and it was actually one of the highlights of his week to hear Loki complain about people for doing things as harmless as breathing loudly. For the record, Loki thought mouth-breathing in public was one of the greatest sins a person could commit. “Why don’t you like him?” he baited. 

Loki, who had finished wiping himself of Thor’s lunch and taken his seat again, scowled. “He has an attitude problem. He waltzed into the room today – late, first of all – and acting like he was doing everyone else a favor by being there. Also he never stops talking! I could not get two words in – literally! I told him my name, he judged it and ran off to his lab,” he replied with a small pout, for Thor’s bacon had landed on his precious grapes. 

Thor’s grin spread even further as he digested his little brother’s analysis of Tony. “A judgmental diva with an attitude problem? He sounds perfect for you,”

“I will shave your head in your sleep.”

Thor laughed at that, loud and boisterous. “I jest, Loki. I am sure you will come to like him in time. He will probably calm down after he gets to know you better,” he offered with a smile. 

Loki’s metaphorical feathers were still ruffled though. “We are supposed to meet up sometime today to discuss our schedules, perhaps I should take that opportunity to let him know how things are going to work.”

Thor laughed again, it was something he did often, and pushed some of his food onto Loki’s plate since he had ruined his brother’s with his bacon spray. “Let me know how that goes, Loki,” he grinned. What a year this would be. 

\-------------

After lunch with his brother, where Loki had been sprayed a second time by Thor’s laughter, the diva returned to his dorm room to read a bit until he heard from Tony. He wanted to spend time with Natasha but she would not even be on campus until the evening. Loki was content with his books though, left alone in the quiet of the dorm while his roommate spent all day in the physic’s lab. Loki had anticipated that it would only be a few hours until he heard from Tony, but the afternoon went by and Loki did not realize until after he had finished his book that it was already 5 o’clock. He could not even contact his partner to chastise him because Tony had never even given him his number! Just a Loki’s feathers prepared to ruffle all over again his text message alert went off. 

“Hey! It’s Tony. Wanna meet up in an hour?” 

There was nothing inherently wrong with the text, and Loki knew he would need to meet with his partner to begin working on the project and five seconds ago was irritated about Tony not texting him until now, but it just seemed so presumptuous. The emerald eyed beauty sighed and fired off a response in the affirmative before collapsing onto his bed. 

Although their meeting was running into dinnertime Loki would still be spending the evening with Natasha. They were going to get Chinese take-out, watch Supernatural and he was going to help her put blond highlights in her fiery red hair. He also really wanted someone to get on board with him about not liking Tony. 

Loki’s phone went off again and his screen lit up with the foreign number. 

“You hungry?” was all it read. 

Apparently this was cause for being miffed as well. “No, Tony, I am not hungry and how dare you ask,” he thought bitterly. He replied, however, that he already had dinner plans. No one, but no one was taking away Chinese food Monday, which was not actually an established tradition in his friendship with Natasha but the prospect of it becoming one made sophomore year look much more promising. His text alert went off again. 

“Well I am. Could we meet at China Garden?”

Loki’s jaw dropped rather dramatically. Who does this guy think he is?! Suggesting his and Natasha’s restaurant! It was like he was inviting himself into their friendship. Well, Mr. Stark, not gonna happen. A grumbling in the diva’s stomach gave him pause, however. Unfortunately for his usually iron-clad stubbornness, Loki really wouldn’t mind pre-gaming on some eggrolls. So he told Mr. Presumptuous that his suggestion was fine. Natasha would give him a light ass kicking for eating at ‘their place’ without her, but he would make it up to her by rubbing her shoulders. That was something they did for each other whenever they were mildly irritated with one another. Sometimes Loki would pretend to be more upset about things than he really was whenever his shoulders needed some Russian lovin’. His redheaded bestie possessed ridiculously strong hands and poorly managed anger issues, so Loki liked to insert his back between her hands and the faces of others whenever her rage was provoked. He was pretty sure she knew what he was doing, with his dramatic ways, and just put up with him anyway. This was why Loki liked her. 

With an unnecessary groan, Loki rolled out of bed to gather his things for this meeting with Tony. It was still an hour before they were due to meet but Loki need to collect his notes and spend time making himself pretty. The effort would not be for Tony, oh no, but Loki liked to look good. He always messed with his hair before he went out, he always chose his outfits carefully, and he ALWAYS made sure he smelled good. That was an absolute must. Clean teeth, clean hair, clean smell and Loki was good to go. He would also take the time spent in front of the mirror to distract himself from getting worked up and agitated before the meeting. 

“At least there will be egg rolls,” he grumbled. 

\-------------

 

“So you’re a psychology major?” Tony asked as he peered at Loki over the top of his plastic covered menu. 

The last five minutes should have been awkward, because the two were meeting for an entire meal and knew nothing about each other, but the moment Tony’s eyes fell on Loki as he approached the restaurant, which Tony had been waiting outside of, he opened his mouth, started talking and was seemingly unable to stop. Loki actually pulled his headphones out of his ears as slowly as possible to see if his partner would notice that he was still listening to music and not him. 

He didn’t. 

In fact, the first moment Tony had even paused in his speech was to ask Loki that question. He nodded a ‘yes’ to Tony. 

“How come?” was the immediate response. 

“Excuse me?” and those marked the first official words Loki said to Tony other than his name. 

“Why are you a psych major?” Tony repeated, never taking his eyes off the menu. 

Loki had been asked this question several times in his college career, and every single time he answered the same thing: “I am interested in learning about how the brain works.” He offered Tony that exact response with the same uninterested tone he was determined to maintain around the other man, because it would let Tony know he did not like him. Apparently Loki was 5.

“Why?”

What the hell guy. Loki was not used to that question. No one ever pressed him for details about his opinions. Who cares? He paused to consider how best to answer this stranger. Even though they were going to be working together and they would be spending a lot of time together they were not friends and Loki did not open up to people easily. Even though it was a perfectly harmless question, and it counted as small talk that Tony might not even really be paying attention to, the dark-haired teen still chose his next words carefully. 

“I suppose… I like to know why people are the way they are,” he answered slowly. 

“People, or you?” Tony fired back without missing a beat. 

Loki’s eyes snapped up to find that Tony’s were focused on him. “Excuse me?” Loki asked for the second time that night. This was now the official phrase for their friendship. 

This made Tony smile. “You’re cute when you’re ruffled,” he said with a grin as his eyes returned to the menu. But before Loki could provide an offended retort, Tony did what he did best and kept talking. “I mean are you interested in understanding others or understanding yourself?”

This gave Loki pause. It was, again, a perfectly harmless question, but Loki found himself very put off by it. He did not know how to answer in a way that would deter the other man from further questions, so he decided to change the subject. “Perhaps we should discuss the project.”

But Tony immediately shot him down. “Relax, we have all night to talk about that. I am infinitely more interested in getting to know the person I will be spending so much of my time with,” he replied, laying his menu down on the table. Tony’s eyes moved up to Loki’s face again and the dark-haired teen had to fight to keep a blush off his face. The flush of color did not go unnoticed by Tony, however, and he decided to take pity on his dinner companion. “Alright, Snow White, we can save that for later.”

Loki raised an eyebrow at the nickname. “Snow White?”

Tony shrugged and smiled at the man in front of him. “Yeah, you know ‘cuz you’re really pale and you have black hair. Plus I heard that you sing to summon forest creatures,” he said with a smirk. At the look on Loki’s face he added, “I’m kidding. So how does this work exactly? Engineering and psychology?”

Loki appeared thoughtful at that. “I’m not sure, exactly. I submitted a proposal to study undocumented physiological responses in emotions. Specifically if there is a connection between cardio and brain activity when a subject is given a specific stimuli,” he explained. “I guess that’s where you come in. I really had no way to measure the brain activity short of CAT scans and the university does not seem keen on funding that…”

Tony sat back in his chair. “That… actually sounds pretty cool. So give me an example.”

Loki grinned. “Take surprise, for example. We know that when people are surprised the sympathetic nervous system activates and we have a given reaction: elevated heart rate, sweating, increased awareness, etc. but I want to know what the connection is between what is going on in the heart and what is going on in the brain. There is already a lot of information on what physiological responses will be provoked from agonists of various neurotransmitters, but I want to know more about it specifically in the case of emotions. Frankly it will make it easier to read people, I think,” he answered before taking a sip from the glass of water in front of him. 

Tony nodded slowly. “So I need to build something that measures brain and heart activity? You suck.” 

Loki smiled at him. “The proposal was actually much less complicated than that, but I now understand why my advisors kept pressing me for further testing. Your reputation says that this should be no problem for you,” he replied. 

Tony laughed at that. “Yeah, we will figure it out. But that makes it sound like I need to have my research done before you even begin yours, so how does that work?”

Loki paused at that. “Not…not necessarily… we can take the same population of people and test them multiple times throughout the year as you continue to improve the quality of whatever device we use for testing. That way I will have stronger data to pull from and you will be able to continually test your creations,”

The waiter came by and took their orders then. Loki was very very ready for those eggrolls. Although the meeting was not going poorly so far, the raven-haired man was not letting himself relax just yet. Perhaps Tony thought he did not notice the way that his eyes traveled all over what he could see of Loki’s body, and he probably thought Loki hadn’t noticed how he kept biting his lip when his eyes landed on the psych student’s neck – but Loki did notice and it irritated him. He was not here to act as eye candy for this creep; he was here because he had accidentally legally agreed to work with this man. 

For once Tony seemed to run out of words and his eyes were still glued to Loki’s neck so he continued with his concerns for their project. “One issue we will have to discuss is our control group, now I proposed several different methods of how we address that-”

“Are you seeing anyone right now?” Tony interrupted. 

“Excuse me?!”

“Is that your favorite thing to say?” Tony asked with a grin. 

“You caught me off guard -”

“Correction, you are really cute when you are flustered,” Tony offered warmly as his hand started to stretch across the table to find Loki’s. But of course, Loki was not having any of that. 

“Look, Tony,” he began as he pulled both hands off the table to place in his lap, but was, for the umpteenth time, interrupted. 

“It’s cool, it’s cool. I will find a better way to ask you out than that,” Tony grinned and sat back in his chair with that same hungry look in his eyes. 

Loki squared his jaw and stared at the man. “We need to maintain a professional relationship.”

Tony outright laughed at that. “Alright, Freud. For tonight, we can have a professional relationship,” he responded with a wink. 

Thank god this restaurant was speedy and the food came at that moment or Loki might have actually tried to claw someone’s eyes out. 

Truthfully, Loki was not seeing anyone. There was someone in choir that he had a relatively harmless (and by that he meant enormous) crush on and had for the last eight months, since last year’s holiday party. That person probably had no idea who Loki was and would not even be able to recognize him if Loki said something, but he still had his heart set on the tenor. Regardless of his crush though, Loki absolutely wanted a platonic and professional relationship for the duration of this research project. He could not stand the thought of being afraid to do their lab work because he was going to be harassed. Tony had been fine for tonight, nothing more than harmless flirting, but Loki needed to nip it in the bud before things escalated. 

His attention was still focused on his egg rolls when he felt Tony’s knee brush his under the table. It was more than likely unintentional on the part of the engineer because he was seemingly completely invested in the food he was now devouring, but the small act send a jolt of electricity up Loki’s leg and made his cheeks flush again. He internally scowled at himself and shoved his egg roll in his mouth. The sound of Tony laughing caught his attention and he raised his eyes to meet the other’s still holding the eggroll in his mouth rather comically. 

“You like stuffing things in your mouth?”

God dammit. 

\-------------

“And then he asked if I was seeing anyone, can you believe that!” Loki bitched as he separated another section of Natasha’s hair before painting it with the styling brush coated in the blond dye. The two were currently situated on the floor of Natasha’s bedroom with the redhead sitting in between Loki’s legs and leaned forward as her best friend helped her with her hair. Supernatural was on in the background, but it was an old season and Loki had stories to tell so neither of them were really paying it much attention. She had returned almost immediately after Loki finished with Tony so he had raced over to her suite with Chinese food in hand and immediately launched into a dramatic telling of the days events – but not before the swept each other up in a bone-crushing hug. The remainder of his dinner with Tony had consisted of them working out their schedules and deciding on the next time to meet with brief interjections from Tony trying to inquire about Loki’s interests and hobbies while Loki glared and thought up ways to kill a man with a soy sauce bottle.

Natasha shrugged. “I’m not surprised. From what I’ve heard, he gets around a lot. So if you are thinking about going out with him – make sure he uses a condom,” she replied. Although he could not see it, Loki could hear her smirk. 

“Woman. Have you not been listening? I hate him. He ended the evening by high-fiving me and calling me ‘princess’ and I hate both of those things,” he ranted as he separated another piece of hair. 

Natasha sighed and then smiled. One of her favorite things about Loki was how much he blew little things out of proportion, provided that his theatrics were not directed at her. It was hilarious to watch him get all flustered about things like Capri pants and people named Duncan (his exact quote was “It’s not a name!”). To normal folk these might be minor annoyances, but were more likely something that went unnoticed entirely. To Loki, however, these things were the end of the world every time. But that level of crazy was fueled by passion. It was his passion that made Loki such a wonderful friend – and brother. He was unendingly devoted and loving to the point of madness. This was the reason his affections were so rare and selective, because they meant more to him. It just so happened that Natasha functioned in much the same vain, which made her friendship with Loki both dangerous and extremely valuable. They were riding on a fault line of introversion and the capacity to literally rip someone’s head off. They were good at taking turns together and working like a seesaw where one person rode the psychotic train and the other had to play peacekeeper. At this moment, Natasha was content to let her best friend ramble about this man while she patiently listened. He was being helpful too, taking extra caution and care with her highlights. She would be returning the favor by rubbing his shoulders when he was done. “Want me to kick his ass?” she asked with that same smirk.

“Yes,” he replied with a little ‘harumpf’. “There, I think your hair is done, now we just have to leave the dye in for… 30 minutes?” he asked as he looked around for the box. 

Natasha shifted her position so she could face the man that had come to mean so much to her. “Well then I’ll keep my fists on standby. In the mean time, trade places with me,” she ordered. 

They traded positions so Loki was sitting between her legs, also leaned forward, as she massaged his neck. “Feel better?” she asked. 

He hummed in response and patted her foot. 

Natasha smiled at that. She really didn’t know much about Tony Stark, besides his reputation as a womanizer, and although that seemed to be the general consensus at school she could not name a single girl he had slept with. The title was there, but she knew none of the stories. Maybe it wasn’t true. All she knew was that Loki had been hung up on choir boy for far too long and if there was someone else who could take Loki’s mind off of him then she was going to root for him. She shifted so she could get Loki’s lower back and he practically mewled in response. The man was obscenely sensitive which made giving him massages a very amusing task. When this boy finally started having sex his partners were going to go crazy over the sounds he made. Natasha was fairly certain Loki did not realize he made sex noises while being massaged and looked forward to the first time he had sex and put two and two together. 

“Well what else did you do today?” she asked as she dug the palm of her hand into a particularly tight spot. 

“Thor spit his – oh! – bacon on me,” he moaned. 

Natasha laughed and shook her head. Of course there was more to that story, but it was infinitely more entertaining to let Loki be dramatic. 

He was really good at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The university will operate under my understanding of universities. (I’m a senior at Austin College – which is not AT ALL reflective of large schools. It’s a tiny ass liberal arts college in Sherman, TX). Research grants for undergraduates do not usually require contracts – the information included would have been part of the proposal which would act as a contract. A reviewer [on ff.n] pointed out that they should have had a lawyer present and they are absolutely right - they probably should! I went from my proposal experience where no parent or lawyer was required. But in case readers have issues in the future with my description of university life I want to apologize ahead of time and explain that it comes from my college experience. I’m also a theatre major so I my experiences are even more whacked.
> 
> :D


	3. Sketches, Staring and a Blonde Douche

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE! Let's all be tumblr friends.

oooooooo

 

The moment Tony returned to his dorm room he collapsed into a depressed puddle on the ground. ' _Who high fives?!_ ' he internally screamed at himself. Their dinner had not gone horribly, although Tony wished that he could get his partner to open up a bit more, but all things considered the evening had gone all right - and then the fucking high five. 

 

If after this year Tony never saw Loki again he would still spend the rest of his life cringing when he thought about that high five. 

 

The thing was, even though Tony had only just _met_ Loki the day before, he had known about him for almost a year. At the Sigma's 'Welcome Back' party at the beginning of last year, Tony had met a bunch of people: the man who would become his roommate and best friend, the girl he would end up dating for several months, a fellow science nerd that he quickly came to adore, he met Greek people, artists, scientists, and athletes, including Thor Odinson. He met Thor about four hours into the party when most people, Thor included, were lost in their own incoherence. Thor had been sober enough to make polite conversation with Tony, asking him about his intended major and how he liked the campus so far, etc. They had engaged in drunken (which always comes off as more sincere) small talk for the better part of five minutes before Thor pointed over Tony's shoulder to a man standing behind him. A man with wavy black hair that fell just below his ears. A man with eyes so green that, even though he saw them in a drunken stupor, Tony can still close his eyes and remember perfectly. A man so tall and slim and _pretty_ that Tony Stark, the straightest of straight edges, found his heart hammering and blood rushing into his crotch. 

 

"That's my lil' brother…" Thor had mumbled before sinking down onto the floor in defeat, letting the alcohol claim him. 

 

Tony didn't mind that the conversation was over. His attentions were focused elsewhere now. The man standing in front of him was fucking _gorgeous_! He was oblivious to Tony's creeptastic staring as he was engaged in a conversation with some red-headed girl who was glaring at everything. From what he chad gleaned, one of them would say something, glare at the room and the other would laugh. They just kept taking turns judging things and then laughing about them together. Tony felt the impulse to march over there and introduce himself, but just as he took the first step in the boy's direction, Potter (as Tony had grown used to calling him, because of his green eyes and dark hair), spotted Tony. He raised an eyebrow, gave Tony the elevator eyes and then raised both eyebrows. Were it anyone else, Tony could have turned that moment into flirting - but this was a guy so handsome that Tony actually forgot to breathe. So instead, he pretended to be heading for something behind Loki and hurried out of the boy's sight as quickly as he could. 

 

Tony was almost certain that Loki did not remember that night. As far as he could recall, Potter hadn't been drinking, and it was unlikely that Tony made much of an impression for him to remember anyway. He had probably forgotten Tony the minute he walked away. But Tony had remembered. He remembered the way his heart threatened to leap out of his throat. He remembered the way his skin tingled and his pulse quickened. He remembered the excitement of being attracted to a man for the first time in his life. He remembered all of that very well. 

 

Of course, Tony had not actually done anything about it. He never attempted to approach Loki again that night, or any night after for that matter. He would occasionally see Loki walking to class across campus and his heart would do its familiar flutter, or the green laser in his lab would make him think of Loki's eyes and he would sigh, and when he was in the shower, washing his wet naked body, his thoughts were _Loki, Loki, Loki…_  

 

He was a bit ashamed to admit that he had pleasured himself to fantasies of the younger boy. Tony would try to do it sparingly, partly because it seemed wrong and partly because the more he did it the more it seemed like he actually had a _thing_ for this boy. Tony Stark refused to have feelings for people. After the way his last relationship, with the girl he had met at that same party, had ended with screaming, crying and Tony almost losing his best friend, he decided to swear off relationships. He had always had a hunch that they were trouble, but it was not until he actually tried one out that he realized how correct he was. Unfortunately, he had shared his philosophy about abstaining from all relationships and feelings with some drunk baseball player at another party, and then the rumors began: Tony Stark was a womanizer who wanted nothing more than a quick, dirty fuck and could not be trusted. At first Tony was livid, because people started treating him differently, but after he realized that it didn't really impact his romantic plans (because he had none) and it was better when people left him alone anyway, he just sort of let the rumors continue. It was astounding to him that no one ever thought to question the validity of the claims - there were no girls to be heard of! There were no actual names or faces to go along with these stories! The one girl he had publicly been involved with had been his _girlfriend_ and they had dated for two months. Closer to seven weeks, but still. 

 

So Tony Stark refused to have a crush on this green eyed little diva he was forced to work with. Yes, he was uncontrollably excited when he stepped into the boardroom yesterday and saw him standing there, and sure, his breath had caught in his throat when his knee accidentally touched Loki's under the table and he was absolutely debating the pros and cons of sending Loki some funny joke via text so that his last impression of Tony for the evening was not the dreaded high five - but it all meant nothing because Tony _refused_. Besides, Loki made it perfectly clear that he did not want anything romantic to come out of their working relationship. So that was that. 

 

Tony groaned in frustration and writhed a bit in his puddle-like fashion, still sprawled on the floor. He was so irritated with himself for behaving like this. He shouldn't be scared to talk to some boy, he shouldn't be fighting off the dreaded **feelings** and he should not be melting on the floor like a snowman. Yes, a snowman. He knew that he was being dramatic and that the more he engaged these thoughts, the worse things were going to get. So Tony lifted himself off with all the grandeur he possessed and the gave himself a shake out to rid himself of this mood. 

 

He just needed to get to work on his sketches so he could clear his head. The sooner he got his preliminary sketches out of the way, the sooner he could see Loki again. No! Dammit! That was not the goal here. No Loki. Bad Loki. No touch. 

 

Tony grumbled incoherently under his breath as he retrieved his sketchbook and some graphite pencils from his cluttered desk. It was a wonder he had managed to make his room so messy already when he had only been back at the university for a few days and he had spent almost all of that time in the lab. The feat was especially impressive considering Tony did not have many possessions in his bedroom. Everything of real value to him remained in the home his parents had left to him: his art, his machinery, his equipment, etc. did not travel with him to college. He was able to go home as often as he pleased, or at least he had been last year before he was suddenly committed to a research partner, so it did not make a big difference not having all of his things right in his dorm. He had only packed the essentials: sketchbooks, underwear, cologne and his favorite tank top and the like. 

 

Tony sat down in his chair and propped his feet up on what little clear area of his desk they could find. He flipped to he first blank page, dated it, gave it a title (R.P. rough sketch #1) and proceeded to draw… a snail. It was a very cute snail, and hell Tony didn't even know he could draw snails, but it was not _necessarily_ on topic. He really didn't have a clear vision of what he was supposed to be creating, which was perfectly alright at this stage in the process, and Tony's motto when it came to creations was to just start drawing until something useful came out. This usually meant that he would try out different elaborate concept designs and would refine the rough sketches as he continued his work…but today that meant drawing animals. 

 

Next he drew a pig, then a rabbit, then a dog, and then an eye. Tony had not being paying attention to the time or to how invested he had become in his sketches, and was not aware that it was 2:30 in the morning and that he had spent the last half hour on one particular drawing. The eye had gone from a small, rounded shape to a very detailed piece of art. He gave shading to the cornea, the pupil, he laced out individual eye lashes before making his way to the brow bone and draping it with a perfectly groomed arch. He had accidentally moved to the cheeks, lining a cheek bone that could cut glass if the picture were permitted. He had not meant to draw a jawline, or a chin - and what lovely, sharp lines they were. It was completely unintentional that he traced a mouth with thin lips and a tiny smirk, as if the picture knew that Tony should not be indulging it. But his pencil had a mind of it's own and it seemed as though Tony was looking on as his hand moved to draw a hair line over this half drawn face. The lines turned into hair, dark hair that came down in loose waves and ended in tiny unintentional curls just below the ear… 

 

Tony didn't realize that he had stopped breathing. He was staring at a picture of Loki; a horrifyingly beautiful and accurate picture of Loki. He had not used any shade other than his graphite pencil but he swore there was green in those eyes. The engineer stared at the picture as his heart pounded. He willed that it should be an exaggeration, that he should have drawn Loki's lines too forgivingly or perhaps he had forgotten a pimple or wayward nose hair - but it was perfect. It was a perfect rendering of that irritatingly perfect face. Tony growled and slammed the book closed. This had been completely unproductive! He was supposed to be taking his mind off of Loki not sketching him out! He was torturing himself for no reason. He couldn't have Loki and so he needed to quit acting like a love-sick school girl and - 

 

Wait a minute. 

 

Tony was staring at the closed book with a fierce look in his eyes. He was being ridiculous. If he liked a boy then he liked a boy and that was okay. Nothing was going to happen anyway because Loki wanted to keep things professional and that was okay too. Tony took a deep breath to calm himself, and then took several more because of reasons. He liked Loki. 

 

And that was okay. 

 

oooooooo

 

Loki was spending an unnecessary amount of time in front of the mirror as he prepared himself for the first choir rehearsal of the year. No one else in the choir was taking it this seriously, but no one else was attempting to make a dazzling impression on the off-chance that their crush (who still knew nothing of their existence) happened to look in the general vicinity of where they were sitting. 

 

In other words: Loki was being pathetic. 

 

He had gone to his morning class wearing one outfit, spent the rest of the day fighting Natasha's hair with three more boxes of bleach - and he increased the potency each time! - but none took, and then changed his outfit four times. Now he smelled like chemicals and failure and he _still_ had not found the perfect outfit to wear. It needed to be something simple, so that it looked like he wasn't trying, but engaging enough that if choirboy *did* happen to glance his way his gaze might actually linger. 

 

He was driving Natasha fucking insane. 

 

She knew next to nothing about choirboy, except what little Loki had told her of him, and his details were mostly useless like, "I think he looked at me!" and "I saw him walking and I ran into a tree!" The Russian had attempted to talk Loki out of his infatuation, simply because she did not like the idea of Loki pining after someone who didn't spare him a second glance, but since it seemed that her friend was unlikely to give up this crush any time soon she decided to take matters into her own hands. She had decided to audition for choir, without telling Loki, so that she could get a better feel for this guy. Maybe he wasn't so horrible and if that was the case then her next mission would be to get Loki to grow a pair and actually ask him out. She threw a shoe at Loki's head to get him to hurry the eff up and get dressed and ignored the way he cried out when it struck him. 

 

"If you don't pick a shirt I am going to slit your throat," she growled as she searched for another shoe to lob at his head. 

 

Loki scowled at her and tugged on the hem of the shirt he was wearing. "What about this?" he asked nervously as he attempted to turn and look at his own butt in the mirror. He had settled on dark skinny jeans and a long sleeved red sweater that clung to his slim frame. Natasha rolled her eyes but did so with a smile on her face. "You look great. If I didn't know you were gayer than Broadway I would jump on your dick myself. Now _come on!_ " she replied as she scooched his butt towards the door. "Before you have time to realize that red isn't your color," she murmured. Her laughter almost drowned out the sound of his strangled "What?!" as she shut the door behind them. 

 

oooooooo

 

The first day of choir rehearsal saw everyone standing and greeting the friends they had not seen since last year. There were clumps of girls gossiping about who had broken up with who (and Loki was actually mildly interested in that topic), boys gathered talking about their plans for the first football game of the season and which party they were attending, and choirboy was leaning against the lip of the stage talking to an athlete whose name Loki did not know. Since Loki had no friends, except Natasha, who was being nice and sitting with him until rehearsal started, he had no reason not to sit right down and attempt to find ways to subtly stare at his crush. 

 

The summer had been kind to him. His naturally blonde hair appeared to have more golden highlights running through it and his skin had taken on a tan that made him look Grecian and _beautiful_. Loki wished there were something he could do to get those clear, big, blue eyes to gaze at him, but instead Loki just sat there with a goofy smile on his face as he stared at the man. Natasha had to slap the back of his head to get him to knock it the hell off. He was still rubbing it and complaining when the director waltzed into the room and asked for everyone to rise so they could warm up. Loki expected Natasha to give him a kiss on the cheek goodbye and dart out, but much to his surprise she rose and continued standing next to him. Loki raised an eyebrow at her as they started their scales and he watched the corner of her mouth turn up in a grin. She wouldn't turn to look at him until after the warmups were finished and since they could not speak to each other, as they were seated in the front row, they had to communicate throughout their eyebrows. He raised one at her and she flicked her head over to choirboy and then wiggled hers at Loki. He reached down to find her hand and squeezed it. He was unbelievably lucky to have a best friend this devoted to him. 

 

But his excitement over Natasha joining him in choir was quickly forgotten when choirboy shifted his chair a bit and moved into Loki's line of sight. He completely tuned out his director as he stared at the boy hopelessly. Loki knew that he probably looked pathetic, if anyone could actually see him, as he shyly stole glances over at choirboy, taking in all the physical ways his body had changed over the summer. He also realized how creepy it was on his part that he was able to notice physical changes because he studied this man so much. 

 

Unfortunately, choirboy noticed the staring. First his eyes moved over to Loki, then he turned his chin a bit so he was fully facing the man. Instead of making a face though, frowning or mouthing 'fuck off' - he _winked_. He smiled at Loki and he winked. 

 

HE FUCKING WINKED! What the hell was Loki supposed to do with that? Act cool? Wink back? Accept his obvious marriage proposal?

 

Natasha elbowed him in the ribs because apparently he had stopped singing and was sitting there with his mouth hanging open in shock, and her action startled him so much out of his reverie that he accidentally let out an 'oof!' 

 

The director glanced up at Loki with a grin on his face but did not stop the rehearsal. A few people giggled at the ridiculous sound - and choirboy smiled again. If Loki were not so busy trying to disappear into his seat he might have noticed that now choirboy was staring at _him._ The tenor's eyes roamed over what he could see of Loki's body and he smirked. Natasha noticed, however, and she could not tell if she was excited for Loki that his crush was checking him out, or irritated that he had such a smarmy look on his face while he did so. 

 

The rest of the rehearsal passed without consequence (Loki had kept his nose buried in his music so as not to make an ass of himself again). When it ended he wanted to grab Natasha and dart out of there as fast as he possibly could (he had another meeting with _Tony_ tonight and he needed to go scream a bit before hand), but before he could even stand up choirboy appeared before him. 

 

He had never approached Loki in his life, had never spoken to him, never even looked at him before the smile today - BUT HERE HE WAS. 

 

"Hey, Loki. Did you have a good summer?" 

 

Ohgodwhatwashappening.

 

Loki was too stunned to process the question and actually formulate a response so he just sort of made a noise and tried to smile. 

 

Choirboy just grinned at him. "Cool. So listen, you'll be at the Phi Kap party tonight, right?" he asked with that same breezy confidence. 

 

Natasha was getting embarrassed for Loki so she elbowed his ribs again but her friend couldn't do anything more than sputter. "Yeah, we will be there. What time?" she answered for him. 

 

Choirboy laughed. "10 pm. Make sure you say hi to me, Loki," he said with another heart-killing wink before turning away to leave. 

 

Natasha was actually kind of worried because Loki had completely stopped breathing and his face appeared to be turning blue. After slapping him a few times he had calmed down enough that they could walk back to his dorm room This was good! Choirboy asked him to a party and he would probably try something, but if it was anything over PG Natasha and her angry hands would be there to stop it. Even though it was an agreed upon principle in their relationship that people suck and should generally be avoided, this would be good for Loki. He would never admit this, although he was perfectly fine cooing over his crush, but he was very lonely. With the way Loki handled emotions (feeling everything ten times as hard) it left him with this incredible need for romantic affection. All of his disdain for humanity with their faces and problems and horrible haircuts came with a catch where he _needed_ someone to love him just as much as he hated everyone else. Natasha filled that role in some ways, because they were so devoted to each other and spent all of their time together, but it was not everything. Loki needed to be _desired_. Of course, her friend probably did not even know this was the case and would never admit to it if she brought it up. It was even possible that the same was true of her and Loki thought the same things. 

 

(It was and he did). 

 

So even though he hated people, Natasha was going to drag his ass to this party tonight and get him to talk to his crush. The only problem was - 

 

Goddammit. 

 

Loki was going to have to pick out another outfit. 

 

oooooooo

 

"Well my sketches are kind of rough right now…" Tony mumbled, making sure to keep his sketch book tight in his hands even though Loki had asked to look at it. The engineer may, or may not, have added a few more drawings last night that had nothing to do with the project and were more…experiments on how alcohol impacted his ability to draw Loki's face from memory. Spoiler alert: it made so little difference that it actually made Tony feel like a weirdo. 

 

Loki growled at that and ceased his efforts to pry the book from Tony's calloused hands. "Well when will they be ready for me to look at?" he snapped. Technically, Tony had not done anything to warrant such a nasty tone, but this meeting was getting in the way of his primping time. Natasha, being the wonderful, beautiful best friend that she was, agreed to come back to Loki's room after he and Tony were finished so that she could help him find something for the party. At this moment Loki did not even care about the project, or Tony or his stupid sketches - he had somewhere to be. 

 

The engineer could tell that Loki was preoccupied but has chosen not to comment on it for fear of getting his head ripped off. He gave a nervous shrug. "I'll have something for you by tomorrow, I promise," he offered imploringly. 

 

The dark-haired man simply growled again and drummed his fingers on the table in front of him impatiently. They had met in the library because Loki did not feel like Tony had earned the right to see his bedroom and Tony was too embarrassed to let Loki see how messy his was. However the location also prevented Loki from screaming unnecessarily at the other man (which was _maybe_ a good thing and Loki really shouldn't be screaming anyway…) but it was also just one more irritating thing. His eyes snapped to Tony's so hard and fast that the brunette actually jumped a little. 

 

Loki looked like he might literally kill him. 

 

"Well then why are we meeting tonight?" he hissed. 

 

Tony raised the book up a bit to act as a shield between them. "I'm sorry! I thought I would have more done by now… we can just call it a night if you want?" he suggested, attempting to make peace with his crazed partner. 

 

The moment the words were out of his mouth Loki had seized his backpack from the chair next to him and jumped up. "See you tomorrow, then," he answered as he turned and practically flew out of the library. 

 

Tony frowned and put down his faux-shield. Well that was lame. He had been counting on making a better impression with today's meeting and it had gone even worse than the previous night's! He collapsed onto the table and buried his head in his arms. Goddammit. Today sucked. Tony had been up all night drawing pictures of his stupid crush's stupid, perfect face so he was exhausted and he still had something else to do tonight. He sighed as he sat up and glanced at the wall clock. 

 

It was already 7:30 and his engagement tonight would not begin until 10:00… so the only logical thing to do with the interim time was drink until he could not remember what his partner looked like. His previous evening's experiment had established that apparently no amount of alcohol would do that (in fact he was pretty sure he was still a little drunk) but it couldn't hurt to try! 

 

Well, it could. He was pretty sure his liver was going to stop working before he turned 30. But he wasn't 30 yet so he would figure that particular problem out later. 

 

He collected his things and set out of the gigantic building. Tony disliked the library; it was too quiet. He craved noise and distractions and he did not like being told what _not_ to do and libraries were full of rules. He also preferred the magical world of the internet when it came to doing his research. Stark was a big believer in taking advantage of the technologies available to him and sifting through dusty old books in an eerily silent building was not 'taking advantage'. But, if Loki wanted to meet there, then they would meet there and he would arrive with a smile on his face. 

 

Instead of going back to his room, where he risked falling into bed and then asleep, he headed for the lab so he could take out his frustrations on some high powered lasers. And damn he was frustrated in more ways than one. 

 

The red shirt Loki had been wearing fit his body especially well. 

 

oooooooo

 

 

Loki hated parties. He had learned this after he attended one with Thor his freshman year and had vowed never to return to the loud, drunken cesspools. He may have broken his self-made vow, but his previous sentiments remained very much intact. This particular party was happening in a large Greek house just a few blocks from campus. There were people _everywhere_. Loki knew that big calendar parties like holidays and beginning/ end of year events were more likely to draw a large crowd, but this was insane. Were he not in the middle of it he might have laughed at all of the chaos, but as it was he had reduced himself to hiding in a corner with Natasha to avoid being bumped into or spilled on. He was definitely not hiding because he was scared of choirboy because that would just be silly…

 

"Now you know at some point this evening you are going to have to actually talk to him, right?" Natasha poked at her friend who looked a very cute combination of panicked and pissed off. She didn't much care for parties either, but she did like drinking so she had been tossing back shots since they walked in the door. Loki never drank, but it might be a good idea to get something in him to loosen him up a bit. As it was there was no way he was going to be able to _converse_ with choir boy. 

 

Loki just snapped his head over and gave her a look. His eyes kept sweeping the room frantically but he was not sure if he would jump for joy when choirboy finally appeared or actually shrink into a small ball and roll away. He toyed nervously with the hem of his sleeve as he did so. He had spent over an hour trying to find a different shirt when it occurred to him that choirboy had already seen what he wore earlier and might notice Loki putting too much attention into his clothes. Before he was able to have a full blown panic attack, Natasha hit him with a shoe and told him to put his red shirt back on. 

 

Now that he was actually here though he regretted the decision and wished he had worn something else. He was so anxious! He was even considering drinking a bit, just so his heart rate would calm down, but he was not fully aware of his limits and did not want to make a drunken ass of himself at the first party he had ever been invited to by someone other than his brother. Speaking of which, Thor should be around here somewhere… 

 

Thor would have been more surprised than anyone to see Loki at this party, so the younger of the brothers had been deliberately avoiding the older. Loki did not want to explain that  he was here because choirboy invited him because then Thor would make it a production and insist on formally introducing the two of them and encouraging them to talk and if that happened Loki would literally burst into flames. His brother knew of his crush (because Thor knew everything about Loki) but, unlike Natasha, he actually knew choirboy pretty well. They were not close, but they had mutual friends they spent a lot of time with and heard a lot about each other. They also saw each other almost every weekend at parties which meant that most of Thor's interactions with the man were drunkenly fueled and happy. 

 

"I'm gonna get you a drink, hold on a second," Natasha murmured to him before disappearing into the crowd. Loki tried to ask her to wait, so he wouldn't be left standing alone like a loser, but before the words, "Hold up, bitch!" could leave his mouth her fiery red hair had vanished. 

 

He slumped against the wall and tried to look invisible but, unfortunately for him, was immediately spotted by the only other person he might have actively avoided. 

 

"Loki?" came Tony's voice as he made his way over to the raven-haired man. The engineer could not believe his eyes! What the hell was Loki doing at a giant frat party? 

 

The younger man's head snapped up at the greeting. "Tony? What are you doing here?" 

 

Tony laughed as he came to stand in front of him. "I was just about to ask you the same thing. How are you?" he asked with a grin. _"Perfect! I will get my chance to make a good impression! And if he's drinking he might loosen up and actually talk to me!"_

 

But no cigar. Loki did not seem to be in the mood for talking. "I'm here with Natasha, she's just getting me a drink," he responded quietly as he tried to press himself further into the wall. 

 

Tony's smile fell at that. He didn't know who 'Natasha' was but it sounded like Loki had a girlfriend. "Oh, okay cool," he replied, trying to sound relaxed. "Well, listen I did some more work on those sketches," (this was not _technically_ a lie), "and I will definitely have some stuff for you to look at tomorrow." 

 

But Loki didn't even seem to be listening to him. His eyes had grown to the size of dinner plates as he spotted something over Tony's shoulder. The engineer turned around to try and figure out what the hell was giving his partner that 'deer in headlights' look, but whatever it was seemed to have vanished just as quickly as it came because by the time he turned around Loki had slumped down again. 

 

Natasha appeared the next second, carrying two small glasses and a bottle of vodka. "Don't sip - just shoot it all back," she ordered as she pressed a small glass into Loki's hand.

 

He did as he was told and immediately shuddered as the alcohol slid down his throat. Once he had swallowed he coughed and made a face. "That is _horrible_ ," he remarked as he attempted to hand the glass back to his friend. Instead she filled it up again. 

 

"Yeah, but you need it," she muttered before turning to Tony and raising an eyebrow. 

 

"Oh, hi!" he greeted as he thrust his hand out for her to shake. _Good impression. Good impression. Good impression._ "I'm Tony, Loki's research partner," he said trying to appear enthusiastic. _"Please god, tell me he told her about me."_

 

The look of recognition on her face said that 'yes - Loki _had_ told her about Tony' but it was not a good thing. "Nice to meet you," she replied with a smirk. "I'm Natasha, Loki's best friend." 

 

The immediate discomfort he felt at her potentially bad reaction to his name melted away when he heard those words. _Best friend NOT girlfriend. Ha!_

 

His beaming smile reappeared as he turned back to Loki who was shuddering again after forcing down another shot. He was making faces like a pissed off cat and pouted a bit at Natasha, fearing that she would make him take another. 

 

"Two is good for now, or you will vomit. Just give it a second and you should calm down a bit," she explained calmly to her friend as she lightly stroked his arm. 

 

Tony's eyebrow raised at that. "Why do you need to calm down?" 

 

But his question did not appear to have been heard because Loki's eyes returned to their dinner plate size as he heard someone call, "Loki!" from behind him. 

 

Up walked this stupidly beautiful, Disney-prince looking man thing with a shit eating grin on his face. His eyes were so unbelievably blue and his dumb blonde bangs had such a perfect wave that Tony wanted to punch him just for existing. What he really couldn't stand though was the way Loki's cheeks flushed and his eyelashes fluttered shyly as the man approached. 

 

"Hey - hey, Fandral," Loki replied shyly with a small smile. His hands had joined together to make a nervous ball in his front as he shifted from one foot to the other. The nice thing about hard-liquor is that it did its job FAST. Already he could feel a warm flush to his body and his heart rate was no longer threatening to send him into cardiac arrest. He was still tingling as he saw his crush approach - but he could do this. **_He could do this._**

 

Fandral offered him one of his winning smiles and turned to greet the other two in the party. "I'm really glad you made it! And Natasha, you look lovely this evening," he said seductively as he reached out to kiss her hand, not noticing the face she made at him.

 

_"Well, fuck this guy,"_ Tony thought as he grimaced at the overly-affectionate display before him. 

 

The blonde douche turned to Tony then and raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, but I don't believe we have met. I'm Fandral," 

 

Tony knew that it would be wrong to punch him even though he wanted to. But so far this evening he had not made an ass of himself in front of his partner and he was not going to start now. So instead of wiping that grin off the blonde asshole's face, he smiled back and said, "I'm Tony, I'm working with Loki on a research project. How do you two know each other?" He hoped that the small nervous edge in his voice went unnoticed as he asked that question, but based on the raised eyebrow Natasha gave him - it had not. 

 

"Well, Loki and I are in choir together - have been for a year now, so we go way back," he replied with a laugh as he shot another one of those *dazzling* smiles at Loki. 

 

It broke Tony's heart to see the way the dark-haired man positively lit up at that and blushed a bit more. Loki looked so fucking cute right now and it was all because of someone else! He gripped the glass in his hand a bit tighter and tried to keep his emotions in check. After all, this was still just a crush he had on Loki - nothing to commit _murder_ over. "Well, we were just discussing our project. So…" he prompted, hoping that this 'Fandral' would take the cue and leave. 

 

But he did no such thing. "Oh, don't worry! I was just coming over here to ask Loki out and then I'll be on my way," he laughed. Although Tony's heart sank even further at that, he did not miss the way Fandral's eyes flashed at him dangerously. 

 

Thank god for the shots he had taken or Loki would have stopped breathing again. He still couldn't bring himself to make any coherent response, but Fandral pressed on anyway. 

 

"So, Loki, do you want to go to dinner with me this week?" the tenor asked as he dared to slip an arm around Loki's tiny waist. 

 

God he was warm. And damn did he smell good. These distractions did nothing to help Loki's problem with forming words, so he just smiled shyly again and nodded at the man holding him. 

 

Fandral brightened at that. "Excellent! Well, then I'll text you tomorrow," he whispered right before he leaned in to kiss Loki's cheek. "Thanks for coming tonight, guys," he addressed to Tony and Natasha before leaving to rejoin the party. 

 

As Loki's heart threatened to burst so to did Tony's. Loki had stopped breathing again and Tony looked like he was going to destroy something. Natasha was looking back and forth between them and couldn't decide whether to be amused or not. She had not anticipated on Tony _actually_ having feelings for Loki. Based on what her best friend had told her, she thought Tony was just doing his playboy thing by asking her friend out. But this? This was not nonchalant indifference. Tony looked simultaneously murderous and brokenhearted. Whatever, now that the goal of the evening had been accomplished, she needed to get Loki home so he would start breathing correctly again. She reached forward to place a gentle hand on his arm and offered him a warm smile. "You good?" she asked, though she already knew the answer. 

 

Loki could only nod numbly at her with that same goofy smile plastered to his face. 

 

"I'm glad, now let's get you to bed before you pass out or something," she muttered as she began to steer him away. She turned to Tony before leaving and said, "I'll make sure he texts you tomorrow, okay?" and then offered him what she hoped came off as a sympathetic smile. Then she walked her best friend out of the party. 

 

Tony stood there numbly. He barely registered the noise around him as the party raged on, completely oblivious to what had just happened. 

 

Okay, so big deal. A guy asked out Loki and he said yes. Who cares? This is just a crush - nothing serious. _"Besides,_ " Tony thought smugly, _"I still get to spend fifteen hours a week with him."_

 

With a fake smile on his face he left the party and returned home and pretended not to notice the dampness on his pillow when he went to sleep that night. 

 

oooooooo 


	4. Meat Everywhere, Anxiety, and a Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for the love! I am cry.   
> So… I didn’t realize exactly how sad that last chapter was… I am sorry.   
> WARNING: This chapter contains dub/non-con. I’m sorry in advance.

oooooooo

 

After the party on Tuesday evening Tony spent a lot of time in his lab and distracted himself with schoolwork, sketches and lots of scotch. The sketches really didn’t count as distractions because he didn’t always stay on topic…but they were at least something to do that wasn’t staring blankly at a wall and ruminating over ‘why god why’. The only bright side to Loki's imminent date with Fandral was that it left the younger man in a remarkably good mood. Tony and Loki had met every night during the week, although they were not up to fifteen hours yet, and each time the raven-haired boy had been bright eyed and cheerful. Tony decidedly avoided the topic of Fandral, and the entire party altogether really, but did take advantage of Loki's high spirits by asking him questions about himself and his life.

 

He learned that Loki's two best friends were his brother and Natasha and that he was not interested in acquiring more friends. Once Tony pulled a bit at that thread Loki went _off_ on how much he disliked people and it was amazing! He had no shortage of things to complain about! He went on tirades about self-tanning, country music, home-ec majors, Arbor Day, and even his father (although as soon as he realized he was doing it Loki immediately closed his mouth and refused to talk about his parents again). Tony knew better than to pry for information on that particular subject, based on the way Loki clammed up, so he just moved on to a new one: "What's your mom like?" which made Loki perk right up as he gushed about how much he loved his mom and how they got along really well and always had. When Tony jokingly called him a 'mamma's boy', Loki actually turned a little pink and told him to shut up.

 

Their meetings were also constantly changing location. Wednesday they met in Tony's lab, (because he lost track of time, almost missed the meeting entirely and it was easier for Loki to just walk over than it was for Tony to try and wash up and then meet his partner), Thursday they met up in Thor's dorm room because Loki was already there hanging out with his brother and did not feel like leaving, and today - Friday - they had lunch plans because Loki had his date this evening.

 

The last two days had actually been kind of amazing, for Tony. He loved getting to learn about Loki and he was _ecstatic_ when the younger man asked him to come over to Thor's dorm. Not only did he get to see Loki in his natural, comfortable habitat, but he got to know his older brother better, as well!

 

Thor, it turned out, was a cool ass dude. He spent the entire time playing _Halo 3_ and generally tried to leave the two partners alone so they could work, but every now and again he would interject into their conversation with some comment or quip to tease his brother and Loki would respond by smacking his head or lightly kicking him. It was adorable how well the brothers got along and Tony could not explain how many butterflies it gave him to be able to observe them like this. They did this thing - Tony wasn't sure if they were even aware of it - where they would come up behind each other and place their chins on the other's shoulder. When Thor was seated on the couch playing his game, Loki draped himself over the back of it to rest his chin on Thor's massive shoulder and kept banging his head into the side of Thor's until his brother turned the volume down. Thor returned the favor later by coming up behind Loki and placing his chin in the same spot to look at the work sitting in front of his brother as he tried to make sense of it (he couldn't).

 

It was fucking cute.

 

Today, though, Tony felt like he had lead in his stomach as he approached the restaurant he was to meet Loki at. He had been telling himself, ever since the party, that he needed to chill the fuck out and just be happy for Loki because he seemed so excited for tonight. He wanted to be a good friend, because he was a nice guy, and he knew that he really had no right to be upset about it. Tony had been worried that if he allowed himself to dwell on how anxious it made him feel then he would start acting out and he really didn't want to mess things up with Loki _the very first week_. They still had all year to work together and if they were not going to spend it making out then they were at least going to get along - Tony was determined.

 

He shook his head vigorously and picked up his speed as he walked toward the restaurant. Normally Tony would have driven, but he needed to work off this anxiety that built in his stomach. He was surprised to find, as he rounded the corner of his destination, that Loki was already waiting outside.

 

As usual, he had his headphones in, but this time –

 

No, that couldn't be right.

 

Tony walked closer and peered at the sight in front of him before he burst out laughing.

 

 _Loki was dancing_.

 

He was buried in a book, but his butt was doing this little shake and his head was moving in time to whatever beat he was listening to. Thank god for the headphones because if Loki could have heard how hard Tony was laughing he probably would have smacked him. The older man paused for a moment to collect himself before walking into Loki's line of sight. The grin he had worked so hard to put away reappeared immediately when Loki's eyes lifted to meet his and the sun reflected in those brilliant greens.

 

"Hey, you," Tony offered in greeting as Loki pulled his headphones out and offered a smile in return.

 

"Hey! I'm glad you're here because I am _starving_ ," the younger man replied as he practically whipped around to head into the restaurant. They had chosen to meet at a relatively small and unknown sandwich shop that Loki had suggested. Apparently the Odinson bros came here a lot and it was another stroke to Tony’s ego that he was slowly being included into their lives.

 

When they were seated in their booth Loki began talking animatedly about which kinds of sandwiches were best and how Tony should avoid roast beef because he and Thor were convinced it was opossum (he provided no further explanation), and pulled out his notes for the project.

 

Tony was grateful that they had this body of work between them that gave reason for their daily meetings, but it had only been a week and he already felt like there was something off about it. He and Loki had spent a great deal of time on Thursday night discussing exactly _how_ they were meant to work together. Loki did not understand how Tony could have just been tasked with creating a machine based on Loki’s research when he had to send in his own research proposal ahead of time.

 

Truthfully, Tony had not really _submitted_ his own application. He had been approached at the end of his freshmen year by the Dean of the Engineering school and was asked if he wanted to take on a special project and he had agreed without giving it any real consideration. Of course, it turned out to be a research project, but Tony figured that whatever it was he would figure it out and if someone else was going to fund him tinkering around with machines then _yeah_ he was going to agree to that.

 

What didn’t make sense to them was why the university was so hell bent on getting Loki and Tony to work together. Thor had piped in that it was probably because it made the school look good, since they both came from such influential families, and might encourage other wealthy people to attend.

 

Or perhaps they were counting on another generous grant from Loki’s father.

 

Either way it was a bit weird. The psych department was not getting back to Loki about appropriate population groups and whether or not he needed the Dean’s signature before he drew up consent forms, which was not a big deal because they were still a few weeks away from actually testing people, but that such details were already being ignored by Loki’s professors was alarming.

 

Whatever. Tony was going to enjoy this while it lasted. Across the table from him Loki was sifting through his notes looking for something he needed Tony’s opinion on which gave the engineering student the opportunity to stare at him. Loki’s raven hair hung down loosely in front of his face and Tony admired the way it seemed to curl at the ends, just as he had drawn it. He wanted to ask Loki about that – if his hair was naturally curly and had to be styled to hang like that – but from what he could glean of his partner it seemed like the kind of question that might earn him a swift kick to the pelvic region.

 

Loki finally looked up when the waiter came and Tony had to quickly turn his head and pretend to be looking around. He took Loki’s advice and ordered Thor’s favorite sandwich: Meat Everywhere! (Includes lots of meat). 

 

They spent the meal discussing their project, the sandwiches and what their plans for the weekend were. Tony deliberately avoided the topic of this evening; because if that thread was tugged on he _would_ unravel and say nasty things about choirboy. They also talked about the first football game of the season, which was on Saturday. Tony had not planned on going, because _football_ , but when Loki told him that he attended every game so he could support his brother the engineer had a change of heart.

 

“Do you want to sit together?” he asked his partner who was licking mustard off his finger in a way that _had_ to be deliberate.

 

Loki looked up at him. “Uh…sure? I usually sit with Natasha, so just text me when you get there and I’ll find you,” he replied before going back to his sexual frustrating mustard clean up.

 

Tony smiled at that. Maybe this weekend wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

oooooooo

 

"Loki, if you put on one more goddamnn pair of pants I am going to beat the ever living shit out of you," Natasha swore as she threw her best friend’s pillow at his head. They had spent the last three hours in Loki's room trying to help him pick out an outfit for his date with Fandral. He had gone through at least twenty different looks and kept turning around asking 1) if he looked fat and 2) how his butt looked. With the first few attempts Natasha had lovingly considered each shirt and asked him to turn around a few times before answering (the butt question only since Loki was apparently incapable of looking fat), because even though she didn't _like_ choirboy, she knew how important this was to Loki.

 

Her friend gave a small shriek when the pillow collided with his ‘perfectly groomed’ hair. He was currently sporting black skinny jeans and a long-sleeved green shirt with two inches of lacing in the front that were untied and showed a bit of his pale chest. He turned around to glare at her as his hands flew up to fix his dark locks. “I will end your life,” he warned.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes and fixed him with a look. “ _Look_ , lover boy, your date is in ten minutes so get a move on!”

 

Loki pouted and turned back to the mirror to double check his hair. “I look horrible. Why do you let me walk around outside when my face looks like this? And what is wrong with my fingers – why are they so long!” he cried as he examined the lanky extremities.

 

“Oh my god, okay, no. We are not doing this – put on your fucking shoes and let’s go wait outside,” she commanded as she marched over to physically steer his shoulders to her bidding.

 

“Shoes! Oh no, I haven’t even thought about shoes!” he exclaimed as his eyes turned into their dinner-plate size.

 

People down the hall heard Natasha’s frustrated battle cry and Loki’s pained yelp when she punched him in the stomach.

 

oooooooo

 

After choosing a pair of shoes for him, his red Tom’s that Natasha claimed were _endearing_ , and actually pushing him out the door before he could protest, the redhead had marched her best friend down stairs to wait outside his dorm for Fandral to pick him up.

 

Fandral was late.

 

Five minutes turned into ten which turned into fifteen and with each one that passed Natasha came up with new expletives and declared how much she hated this man while Loki’s heart sank further and further.

 

Had choirboy been teasing him when he asked him out? Were their plans some kind of elaborate joke intended to get Loki’s hopes up and then humiliate him? It wasn’t particularly sophisticated - but it was certainly cruel, for even though Fandral did not know how _long_ Loki had liked him, he could certainly ascertain how _much_.

 

Loki dropped his head and fixed his gaze on the hands in his lap, which were twisting together nervously. “Should I call him?” he asked. Natasha would either tell him to forget this guy and suggest that they go eat themselves into a food coma or she would insist that Loki call him and demand to know why he was late and then give him an earful. Really, both answers sucked and Loki had to fight tears as he forced himself to meet his friend’s gaze.

 

But before she could confirm his suspicions about her answer, a car pulled into the turnaround in front of the dormitory and stopped in front of the pair waiting out front. The window on the passenger side door rolled down to reveal Fandral behind the wheel with what Natasha assumed was supposed to be a ‘winning smile’.

 

“Hey, babe!” he called out through the open window to the overly excited and relieved boy and his pissed off best friend.

 

Loki waved back, shyly, as a blush crept into his cheeks. He turned to give his friend a hug and thank her for waiting with him and was a bit frightened of her expression. She was _glaring_ at Fandral with such intensity that he thought the car might burst into flames. Loki placed his hand on her shoulder to pull her out of the rage-spell and offered her a tiny smile. “Thanks for sitting with me,” he whispered as he pulled her to him.

 

She grunted in response, never taking her eyes off of the blonde in his car – not that he saw because he was fixing his hair in the rearview mirror.

 

As Loki started to walk towards his date Natasha suddenly reached out and snatched his hand.

 

“Don’t put up with any shit from him,” she warned before letting go.

 

Loki raised an eyebrow and then laughed. “I won’t, darling,” before hurrying over to the car.

 

After he was situated with his seatbelt on, Fandral honked the horn at the woman still glaring at him, playfully laughed and peeled out.

 

Natasha was not impressed.

 

oooooooo

 

“So, how was the rest of your week, babe?” Fandral asked as he reached over and hit the button on his stereo. The car was suddenly filled with twang and whine as a country song played through the speakers just a bit too loudly for conversation. After removing his hand from the knob he reached over and grabbed Loki’s, intertwining their fingers.

 

It was a lot for Loki to take in all at once.

 

1\. Babe? He should have been put off about how quickly his date was giving him pet names but it was just so exciting and made Loki feel pretty so he let it go.

 

2\. _Country music?!_ This did rile Loki’s feathers a bit, and he could not understand why his date would ask him a question and then immediately put on music. Did he not care about his answer or was this just how dates worked? Some kind of white (horrible, nasty) noise had to be on in the background in case silences grew too long? He would have preferred to talk to Fandral and ask his own questions, but maybe they were supposed to save that?

 

3\. _HE GRABBED MY HAND OHMAIGOD HE’S HOLDING MY HAND WHAT EVEN IS I STOPPED BREATHING I’M GOING TO VOMIT BUTTERFLIES ALL OVER HIS CAR AFASLDFKAJSLKAJSAF_

Luckily he processed those thoughts quickly and was able to respond without vomiting. “Really well, thank you. My professors were very lenient on homework, the project is going well-”

 

“Yeah, what’s the deal with that?” Fandral interrupted. Clearly he did not realize how much effort it took for Loki to speak like a normal human around him without hyperventilating or he never would have done such a thing.

 

“What do you mean?” Loki asked, turning to look at his date. _Oh god, he’s handsome_.

 

Fandral frowned a bit. “Like, what are y’all doing?”

 

Loki brightened at this question. This was easy and technical, he could answer this no problem. “Oh! Well, it’s actually really interesting. We are studying the relationship between operationally defined-”

 

“No, I mean like what is the deal with Tony?” Fandral interrupted again.

 

Shit. This was not as easy to answer, and if Loki didn’t have such a huge crush on this man he probably would have snapped at him for interrupting so much, but instead he just blinked in surprise and asked, “What do you mean?”

 

“Like, are y’all friends? Do you hang out?”

 

What the hell? Who cares?

 

“Um, well, we are supposed to be logging fifteen hours a week of research time together but that’s not really hanging out-”

 

“Fifteen hours? Damn. That’s gotta get old. So I thought we could go to Olive Garden, does that sound good?” he asked.

 

Loki was torn between irritation over being interrupted again, confusion over why his date jumped on the topic of Tony any then dismissed it so quickly and the overwhelming desire to say, _‘Or we could go to an actual Italian restaurant.’_ But he wanted Fandral to like him so instead he said, “Sounds great!”

 

“You wanna see a movie afterward? There are a couple good ones out, I think,” he mumbled the last bit to himself as he pulled out his phone and opened the Fandango app.

 

“That sounds lovely,” Loki murmured as he nervously watched the road in place of the man who was actually behind the wheel. Loki _hated_ it when people were on their phones while driving and it made him extremely nervous to be in the passenger seat when it was happening. Once, Thor pulled his phone out to read a text with Loki sitting next to him so the younger of the brothers shrieked, grabbed the phone and threw it in the backseat and then wouldn’t speak to him for an hour.

 

Thor never pulled his phone out again.

 

But this was a first date and while Loki could get away with shrieking at his older brother, who loved and adored him, he could not pull the same crap with choirboy. So instead he nervously gripped the seat and bit his lip, waiting for Fandral to focus on the road again.

 

“If we spend less than an hour at dinner we can make the 9:30 of that slasher movie,” the blonde reported as he finally put his phone away.

 

Loki _hated_ slasher films. They were gross, often plot-less, and the sound of shrill female screaming made him cranky. But perhaps if he looked scared Fandral might try and comfort him…he had seen people use that tactic in the movies before. But less than an hour at dinner? When were they going to talk and get to know each other and laugh at jokes by candlelight? This left no time for Fandral to fall in love with him!

 

But, once again, Loki wanted his date to like him so he simply smiled, nodded and stayed silent. Fandral began talking about his summer and the various things he did (which seemed to include little more than working out and getting high) and would occasionally ask Loki a question about himself – and then proceed to interrupt it immediately.

 

When they got to the restaurant Fandral only paused his jabber when the waiter came to take their order. Loki had been instructed to order whatever he wanted, Fandral’s treat; so he ordered the cheapest salad they had because he didn’t want to appear high maintenance or fat.

 

After the waiter left, Fandral reached across the table to take Loki’s hand again. “I’m really glad we’re doing this,” he said quietly through a grin.

 

Loki didn’t breathe for the rest of the meal.

 

oooooooo

 

His plan to act scared during the film was rendered unnecessary because he _was_ scared and at one point had to fight the urge to vomit when a character’s guts went flying across the screen. Fandral seemed to be enjoying it though, and he _had_ put his arm around Loki almost immediately, anyway, so the dark haired teen just endured the movie and focused on how his date smelled like what he imagined models at the beach smell like.

 

When the couple was back in the car in the parking lot of the theatre, Loki was about to ask his date about what other kinds of movies he liked, when he felt a hand on the back of his head, stroking his hair, and all capacity for conversation left him.

 

The bright yellow glare through the windshield from the parking lot lights gave Fandral’s eyes a special glow as he smiled at Loki. He was almost _irritatingly_ handsome in his fitted jeans and plaid flannel shirt with the top three buttons undone. It revealed just enough skin and toned muscle that Loki flushed whenever his eyes fell on it. Even now, Loki’s breathing was starting to become heavier through his parted lips as he gazed at Fandral, who was staring at him with a predatory look.

 

“You look really pretty, babe,” Fandral murmured before leaning across the space between them and pressing their lips together.

 

It wasn’t Loki’s first kiss, (that had actually been with Thor and that is a story for ANOTHER time), but it was the first one that took his breath away.

 

His eyes slipped closed as he felt a wet tongue caressing his bottom lip before slipping inside his already open mouth. It was a gentle kiss, and Fandral moved just slowly enough for Loki to gather his senses and respond with his lips. As the blonde massaged Loki’s tongue with his and pressed their bottom lips together, the smaller man moved his lips back and relaxed his jaw more to permit further access that Fandral seemed desperate to get.

 

The gentleness lasted for all of thirty seconds before the hand that had been so adoringly stroking Loki’s hair suddenly fisted and grabbed a handful of his dark locks before tugging his head back and breaking their kiss. Fandral immediately kissed his way down Loki’s jawline to his neck where he began planting rough, wet, angry kisses and started sucking bruises onto the pale skin.

 

It was all happening to fast that Loki had to fight to keep up. He had cried out when Fandral tugged on his hair (because it hurt, dammit) but it was immediately replaced with a soft moan when he felt soft lips on the sensitive flesh of his neck.

 

It was nice to be kissed.

 

When Fandral finally pulled away he started up the car and asked, “Are you coming back to my place?”

 

Loki’s cheeks took on their familiar flush as he nodded. _More kissing – yay!_

 

oooooooo

 

The moment he stepped over the threshold of Fandral’s apartment, Loki found himself being slammed up against the wall, hands running up his sides, and a tongue being shoved down his throat. He heard his date kick the door closed before the taller man pressed his body flush against Loki’s and _devoured_ him.

 

His right hand moved from Loki’s side to wrap in the hair at the back of his head and hold him there while his left slipped around the smaller boy’s waist to pull him closer. His tongue was plundering Loki’s mouth as it ran over his teeth and lips and the whole effect was producing a lot of saliva between them. Fandral kept pulling back briefly to bite on Loki’s lower lip in a way that seemed like it _should_ have been pleasurable, but was so rough it hurt.

 

Loki assumed that this was the virgin in him talking, though. He needed to get used to these things because this was how making out worked and he wanted to enjoy it. He was embarrassed at his lack of experience and with the confidence and assertiveness Fandral was displaying, Loki felt certain that his date had lots. He clumsily tried to move his own mouth and tongue in time with what he felt but the other’s tongue dominated the act. The raven haired man was being held so tightly too that he could not move his body at all and sort of hung there while Fandral began to grind their hips together.

 

Despite the slobber and slight pain happening to his face, Loki found the friction between their crotches quite pleasurable.  He had heard of people grinding their way to completion and always assumed it was a myth, but what he was experiencing right now told him otherwise. He wished that he was wearing pants with a bit more give  because the tightness around his steadily growing erection was stifling and Loki thought it would soon become painful.

 

Fandral gave a particularly forceful grind, pulling on Loki’s ass to bring them closer at the same time, and it tore a cry from Loki’s throat. His head dipped back a bit when their mouths separated and choirboy wasted no time before moving his lips and teeth to Loki’s pale, exposed neck.

 

The skin was extra sensitive there and soon Loki was positively whimpering as Fandral kissed and sucked his way along the skin, taking extra care right below his ear and against his collarbone.

 

It felt _amazing_. Loki had never been touched like this in his life and even in his fantasies about kissing choirboy he never envisioned the blonde exhibiting this kind of passion towards him. The physical sensations were one thing, but what made Loki feel especially good was the way Fandral seemed to _desire_ him. Being slammed up against a wall and turned into a meal was so deliciously intense it was almost unreal. The way Fandral was moaning and moving against him like he was _sexy_ or something was such an unexpected treat that Loki delighted in just letting his date do whatever he wanted with his body.

 

Until Fandral’s hands started moving for the front of Loki’s pants, that is.

 

Panic shot up the younger man’s spine as his eyes snapped open and his own hands flew to stop Fandral’s. “Wait – wait,” he sputtered as he tried to catch his breath.

 

Fandral was not deterred though and instead of leaning back to look at Loki he just moved his head to the other side of the slim neck he was kissing and intertwined his fingers with the ones trying to still his and used the hold to lift Loki’s arms above his head before he resumed his sucking. “Mm?” was the only acknowledgment he gave that he had heard Loki at all.

 

“It’s just –“ _oh god that felt good_ “I’ve never – oh – I’m a,” but Loki’s words were halted once more by a particularly sharp nip from the blonde at his neck.

 

That did catch Fandral’s attention though.

 

“Hold up,” he said as he finally removed his mouth from Loki’s neck. “Are you a virgin?”

 

Loki didn’t need to use words – the blush that erupted in his cheeks said it for him.

 

“Oh my god – oh this is gonna be fun,” Fandral murmured with a positively wicked grin as he scooped Loki up and carried him into the apartment.

 

It should have been romantic and sexy, having his legs wrapped around choir boy’s waist and his date’s strong arms holding him as he was carried to the couch, but all Loki could think was, _‘Wait, what?’_

Once he was deposited on a couch cushion Fandral began undressing him. In one quick movement, Fandral pulled Loki’s shirt up and off. It happened so fast and so suddenly that Loki _had_ missed it because he blinked. He just felt the cold air of the apartment tickling his naked flesh and realized he was topless. He didn’t have time to dwell or respond before Fandral was laying him back against the cushions, climbing over him and moving to kiss along his chest.

 

If felt nice, to have someone else’s lips rain kisses on his overly sensitive flesh, but there was anxiety in his stomach that refused to leave. Shouldn’t Fandral have _asked_ if he could start stripping his date? And why were his touches getting so aggressive? The blonde’s hands were groping him so tightly that Loki worried he would actually bruise. The hand that had been at Loki’s side moved up to his nipple, tender and untouched, and gave it an unkind squeeze.

 

 

"Ah! Fandral-," Loki started but was silenced when his date moved his biting from Loki's chest to his lips. The nips had moved from being exciting and fun to singularly painful. He tried to push against Fandral's chest to get him to stop - if only for a moment so that he could ask him to be more gentle, but the blonde was having none of it. Then, once more, Fandral moved his hands to Loki's front and started undoing his pants.

 

Panic struck him quite suddenly. This was moving too fast- way, way too fast. When the evening had started Loki was excited and horrified about the prospect of kissing him, but this was too much. 

 

"Fandral, stop!" he cried out. 

 

The boy above him looked confused, but to his credit his hands stilled their movements. "What's wrong babe? I thought we were having fun."

 

Loki felt guilty at that. He bit his lip and paused before answering. "No no no, we are! We are, it's just...I've never done this before and things are just moving a little too quickly for me," he answered quietly, avoiding eye contact but doing his best to sound sincere. 

 

Fandral moved off of him at that and ran a hand through his hair. He shifted so he was sitting on the edge of the couch with his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his fists. He let out a labored sigh and said, "Wow."

 

Loki looked up at him, confused. "What?" he asked softly. 

 

Fandral refused to look at him but started lightly pounding one of his fists into the opposite palm as he shook his head. "I thought you wanted an adult relationship," he answered coldly.  

 

Loki recoiled. "I do!" he pleaded as he reached forward to place his hand on Fandral's knee. 

 

His date considered him, moving his eyes over Loki's half naked body before taking in a deep breath. His expression looked pained and Loki genuinely could no tell if the older man was messing with him or not. "Loki, adult relationships include sex. If you want to go out with me... I just don't think it's fair to you for us to be on different pages. I don't want to hurt you by expecting something that you don't want," he explained, taking the hand that was on his knee into his own.

 

That response was unexpected. Maybe he was just being a baby. It was true, adult relationships did include sex and he wanted an adult relationship. Ordinarily he would go home and talk to Natasha about this but it sounded like he needed to make a decision right this second or risk losing Fandral for good. Loki bit his lip guiltily as he considered his options and was startled when Fandral brought his other hand up to stroke Loki's cheek. 

 

"And then you go and drive me crazy by doing something sexy like biting your lip," he murmured before moving in to kiss Loki again.  

 

The raven-haired man relented. He wanted to be with Fandral so badly and he was going to lose his virginity at some point right? He allowed the older man to slip his tongue into his mouth as he lowered Loki down onto the couch again. He wanted this, he told himself as he fought the tears threatening to slip out of the corners of his eyes. 

 

"So this is okay?" Fandral asked in between kisses. 

 

Loki couldn't bring himself to make words so he just nodded. 

 

Fandral grinned at that and one more brought his hands to Loki's pants. He patted Loki's rump to encourage him to lift his hips so Fandral could pull them off. Lying there on the couch in only his boxers Loki suddenly felt cold and unsafe. All of the warmth and pleasure he had experienced earlier when Fandral was holding and kissing him was gone. It suddenly occurred to Loki how little he knew about this man and here he was about to give him his virginity. Fandral on the other hand looked fucking delighted. He was gazing at Loki with a hungry look in his eyes, like he was a piece of meat. Loki would potentially have felt more comfortable if Fandral was just as naked as him, but before he could move his hands to Fandral's shirt the older man had his hands at Loki's waistband and was tugging his underwear off. Loki needed no prompting this time and lifted his hips hesitantly to allow Fandral to slip them off. 

 

He repressed a shudder as the cold air in Fandral's apartment hit his sensitive flesh. With every minute that passed Loki's comfort level dropped a little more. He was trying desperately to fight off this anxiety and relax so that he could enjoy this. He wanted a relationship. He wanted this. He needed to do this. He didn't have a choice. 

 

Fandral removed his own clothes without ceremony and immediately wrapped a hand around Loki's left ankle to encourage the leg to wrap around his waist. He then moved his hands to Loki's hips and pulled him down so that Loki was flat on this back with his legs up and around his date. Once Loki was appropriately positioned to Fandral's liking, the blonde lowered himself onto the slim body once more. 

 

Fandral did not seem concerned with the fact that Loki had not breathed in minutes or that his previously very interested erection was now limp between his legs. The blonde was focused on his own actions as he licked his palm a few times before reaching down to grasp his own very interested erection and coating it a few times. 

 

"Shouldn't we use a condom?" Loki asked quietly, hoping that Fandral would not notice the way his voice shook as he willed it to stop. 

 

The look Fandral gave him when his eyes first snapped up to meet Loki's was terrifying. He quickly covered it with a hurt look, but Loki had absolutely seen the rage that had flashed across his face. It had done nothing to make Loki relax. 

 

"Do you not trust me?" he asked in that same cold tone. "Unless...you are trying to protect me because you have something?"

 

"No! No, I am clean I don't 'have' anything-" Loki shrieked but was interrupted once more.

 

"Good, because it would be a shame for us to have to stop now. I don't have any condoms in this apartment. I don't use them because I only sleep with clean people," he explained as he reached down to position himself against Loki's entrance.

 

Before the little raven had time to muse over Fandral's faulty logic he felt something hard and LARGE pressing against him.

 

"Wait! Wait-" Loki cried out, panic spiking again. "Aren't you supposed to...you know...prepare me?" he asked quietly, no longer caring at how badly his voice was shaking.

 

This time Fandral did not hide his growl. He gave Loki a hard look and stared at him for a few moments. "You want me to finger your asshole?"

 

Loki couldn't fight the flush that erupted in his cheeks. There was no need to be so crude about it! "I'm not! I mean - it's just ...isn't that how this works? … so I don't get hurt?" His voice was growing quieter and quieter and he felt himself shrinking back into the couch, wishing that he was in a less vulnerable position than laying flat on his back with his legs wide open and his genitals exposed. He felt like an animal, and the look Fandral was giving him did nothing to ease his anxiety.

 

"Loki, that's really disrespectful," Fandral responded without a trace of irony or apology.

 

He continued at the confused look Loki have him. "Asking another man to degrade himself to _fingering your ass_? I don't want that on my hands."

 

Before Loki could respond, or even think of something to respond with because now he was completely humiliated in addition to horrendously nervous, Fandral shifted a bit to look like he was going to move off of Loki.

 

"I'm beginning to think you don't want to go out with me," he said quietly.

 

Panic. Panic. Panic. Loki's mind screamed at him. He was not going to lose the boy he had been crazy about for so long just because he was scared of a little pain. He lifted himself up a bit so that he could kiss Fandral's shoulder. "I want you, I promise. I'm sorry...it's just…remember I've never done this before so I don't know how to behave. Forgive me?" he asked tenderly.

 

Fandral smiled and pulled Loki's legs apart again. He spit in his hand and stroked his own dick once more. He kissed Loki again before positioning himself against Loki's unprepared very virginal entrance. "This /will/ hurt babe, but if you just relax and let me do my thing it will be good for you," he explained.

 

Loki nodded as he willed his body to relax and open up to this flesh intrusion. It took a bit of maneuvering but Fandral was finally able to breach that right ring of muscle and push a few centimeters of cock inside.

 

It stung and it hurt, as those first few centimeters of cock breached him, but Loki was certain that once Fandral was all the way inside it would feel good. That was how sex worked, right?

 

But once Fandral got the head inside he began slowly rocking his hips to inch himself inside. Once he was able to move a bit he pulled Loki's legs as far apart as they would go and slammed the rest of him inside.

 

Loki was wrong.

 

It hurt. It hurt so fucking badly he thought he was dying and he was too slow to catch the scream that left him as he felt his lower half being ripped open. Tears immediately filled his eyes and he couldn't stop the cries of pain leaving him with every shuddering breath. He was constricting so tightly, even though he knew that was making it worse, that his whole body seemed to be trying to curl in on itself. He wanted Fandral out. He wanted this horrible screaming agony to leave him. How did people enjoy this? How could this possibly feel good for anyone? A wrecked sob left him as Fandral started to move his hips again.

 

"Wait- please- please wait," he begged, bringing his hands to Fandral's chest.

 

But the blonde just shook his head and continued his thrusting. "Just give it a second, baby," he purred, dipping his lips down to kiss Loki's jaw.

 

But Loki shook his head as more sobs left him. Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks as he attempted to form words in between his tortured gasps. "Please - it hurts - so badly," his speech broken by Fandral's unforgiving movements.

 

"Babe it will be worse if I stop," he murmured as he continued to press sloppy kisses along Loki's jaw. "Just relax, baby," he muttered before raising himself a bit and pushing Loki's legs further up. He had his hands on the back of Loki's thighs for leverage and the new angle made it so he could thrust deeper inside.

 

The new angle also meant that Loki was in agony. He could feel himself being ripped open and he knew for certain that he was bleeding. He had never in his life experienced or even conceived of anything this horrible. He was trying so, so hard to relax and enjoy this but the longer it went on the harder he cried and the harder he cried the more he despised himself. This was his first time and he was making a fool of himself by crying like a baby! It was a wonder Fandral wanted to have sex with him at all when he was being so dramatic. He was lucky to be with someone who was so forgiving of his inexperience.

 

Luckily for the smaller man, it didn’t look like Fandral would be able to last for very long. His thrusts were rapidly becoming more erratic and he was squeezing Loki's thighs so hard that he knew there would be actual handprints there in the morning. Fandral’s eyes were screwed shut and his mouth hung open as he incoherently moaned, "Oh, babe- oh, god-uhn, you are so fucking _tight_.”

 

Loki just lay there, still awkwardly sobbing as he prayed for this to be over. The fates were kind though because the next words out of Fandral's mouth were,

 

"Oh god- babe, I'm coming! I'm coming!"

 

And then he did just that. He shuddered as he spilled himself inside Loki, his hips stilling as he relaxed his death grip on the thighs he has been abusing. Loki was disgusted that he could /feel/ himself being coated with Fandral's hot release. When the other boy pulled out he released another cry of pain as his traumatized muscles clenched, begging for the blonde to stay put. There was hot liquid leaking out of him, along with the blood, and Loki wanted desperately to escape to a shower, but Fandral had draped himself across Loki's chest as he attempted to catch his breath.

 

Not ten seconds later, he heard the door open and his heart leapt into his throat again. Fandral's roommate, Thanos, appeared around the corner, throwing his backpack onto the floor as he did. It took him a moment to process what he saw on the couch but when he did he burst out laughing.

 

"You fucked Thor's little brother?! Dude, nice," he said as he leaned forward for Fandral to high five him.

 

Much to Loki's horror, Fandral actually did before collapsing his head onto Loki's chest once more. Thanos gave Loki a little wink and went into his bedroom still laughing.

 

What the fuck was happening?!

 

"Did you seriously just high five him?" Loki choked as he attempted to push Fandral off of him. The one nice thing about their positions was that his genitals had been hidden from Thanos' view, although his tears were perfectly visible, but he wanted to throw the blonde off of him now.

 

Fandral laughed as he took in Loki's expression. "Babe, it's a compliment! He knows how attractive I find you," he answered with infuriating nonchalance like he had not just high fived their act like Loki was some kind of sexual conquest. When he saw that his answer did nothing to ease the anger in Loki's eyes he tried a different approach. Fandral moved his torso up so he could nuzzle Loki's neck with his lips. "I've been talking about you for months. He knows how much I was looking forward to tonight."

 

But unfortunately for Fandral, Loki was not satisfied with that response. So after laughing it off and flattery did not work the blonde tried the tactic he was best at.

 

"Babe, you really need to chill out. I thought that was something special and you immediately snapping at me makes it seem like you didn't take it seriously. Plus you were crying the whole time. How do you think that makes me feel?"

 

"It hurt," Loki replied in barely above a whisper.

 

"It would have hurt a lot less if you weren't so focused on making it into a production," Fandral muttered as he climbed off of Loki's abused, sticky body. "You were lucky I was able to enjoy myself at all," he threw over his shoulder as he reached for his clothes.

 

Loki was a mix of emotions then, lying on the couch with his legs still open and Fandral's seed spilling out of him as the man he had been so excited to go out with made him feel guilty and horrible. He felt humiliated and small. He wanted to crawl into a whole and die, but he couldn't leave things like this. He had come this far, giving Fandral his virginity and endured the pain- there was no way he was going to fuck things up by getting upset over something like propriety.

 

"I'm sorry," he said softly as he sat up and drew his knees up to his chest. The act hurt but he wanted to appear as small as possible.

 

Fandral turned around and considered him for a moment before reaching down to grip Loki's chin and force him to meet his gaze. The act was meant to be gentle but there was a little too much force in the action. "It's okay, babe. I forgive you," he said with a small smile as he leaned in to kiss Loki. "And because I'm such a nice date, I'm going to give you a hand," he whispered into Loki's ear as he moved to sit next to him on the couch. 

 

Loki was confused by the older man's words but his intentions because immediately clear when he moved to spread Loki's legs once more. 

 

"Fandral, your roommate is home," he pleaded, but none the less moved into the position Fandral was encouraging him into. 

 

"Do you want an orgasm or not?" Fandral snapped like Loki was an idiot for being concerned about such a thing. 

 

He was not terribly concerned about an orgasm since his asshole had just been ripped open, but Loki did want Fandral to ask him out again, so he relented with a small, insecure nod. 

 

Fandral immediately flashed that smile that made Loki relieved and uneasy at this same time. He placed one hand on Loki's thigh and stroked it a bit as he brought the other to grasp his flaccid sex. 

 

The situation begged that Loki would not find himself interested by the touches, because he had been thoroughly humiliated, tortured and he was still very anxious about the fact that Thanos was in the next room and could come out at any moment, but the reality was that Loki never touched himself. He had given himself pleasure perhaps ten times in his life (the number was probably higher, but in much the same vain), which meant that he was a very sexually frustrated little creature. He could have taken care of himself, but he had been told once when he was very young that sex was only pleasurable for the boys and girls who kept their own hands out of their pants. This, coupled with the fact that Loki was so unbelievably sensitive, (which made the pain even greater for him), meant that his body _did_ respond to Fandral's touches. He bit his lip as a soft moan escaped his lips.

 

Fandral continued to stroke his sex and rapidly brought him to hardness. His actions were a little clumsy, he was not able to keep up a rhythm - although maybe that was intentional, Loki would have no way of knowing -, but they still elicited small gasps and moans as the raven haired man relaxed himself onto the cushion and grabbed at the arm of the couch behind his head. 

 

No one had ever touched him like this before.  The sensations were not much different from his own hand, but it was exciting that it was someone else bringing him pleasure; even more so because it was choirboy. Loki had done his job well, lying there and letting Fandral have his way with him, even if he had cried, and this was his reward.

 

Much like the man who took his virginity, he was not able to last long. It had been almost a year since Loki had touched himself last and his body very much welcomed the release. It was a good thing too because Fandral looked bored.  

 

Loki gave a small cry and gasped, "Fandral - ah! - I'm going to-"

 

That seemed to get the blonde's attention. "That's right baby, just come for me," he encouraged, a little too loudly, as he sped up his pumps. 

 

Loki cried out as quietly as he possibly could as he released. The blonde was apparently not interested in working Loki through his orgasm though because as soon as one shot of cum left him Fandral immediately removed his hand. 

 

Loki made a strangled noise at that and pumped hips up into the empty air where his lover's hand had been just seconds before. He made a pleading look at Fandral but the other boy simply said, "Sorry, I just didn't want to get it on my hands. You understand." 

 

Loki did not understand, but it had been said as a command so he just nodded as he tried to catch his breath and will away the horrible feeling of dissatisfaction that came from only experiencing half of an orgasm. 

 

Right then, because he had impeccable timing, Thanos' door opened and Loki scrambled to cover his lower half.  The moment was completely ruined. Fuck all of this noise. 

 

"I heard someone was coming!" he yelled cheerfully, staring at Loki as he did so. Loki could not believe this was happening.  He was laying on a couch, hair disheveled, struggling to catch his breath, covered in sweat, bruises, and semen, and he was concealing his crotch with a pillow as this man just _stared_ at him. He had never been more humiliated in this life. Why wasn't Fandral sticking up for him and telling Thanos to fuck off? Isn't that what a good date would do? He was snapped out of his thoughts, and the uncomfortable staring with Thanos when he asked, "Hey, Fandral, you want pizza because I'm going to order some." 

 

The blonde brightened at that. "Yeah, sounds great. You want some, babe?" he asked, turning to his completely confused lover. 

 

Loki just shook his head. " I should probably get home," he muttered quietly, trying to give his date a pleading look and will him to make Thanos go away. But Loki had no such luck. 

 

"Okay, get dressed and I'll walk you out," Fandral responded nonchalantly as he got up and walked over to the restroom. 

 

"Are you going to take me home?" Loki tried to ask but Fandral had already shut the door. 

 

Thanos was still staring at him. " _I'll_ take you home," he grinned and gave Loki another tiny wink.

 

Loki immediately shook his head. "No, no that won't be necessary," he all but whispered as he glanced around to determine how neat to get his clothes on without letting Thanos see his body. 

 

"Are you sure? ‘Cuz I'll take you," he tried again. 

 

The innuendo was not lost on Loki and it brought panic to him once more. "I'm on a date with Fandral," he hissed, hoping that he came off sounding more confident than he felt. 

 

Thanos laughed at that, the words or Loki's attempt at standing up for himself he wasn't quite sure, and then leaned down to get in Loki's face. "I'll be having you at some point, you can count on that," he threatened just as Fandral stepped out of the bathroom. 

 

"I thought I told you to get dressed," was all he said in response to his roommate standing way too close to his naked, terrified looking lover.

 

Loki nodded quickly and grabbed his clothes, keeping the pillow pressed against his crotch as he did so. After he had them all in his hand he darted for the bathroom and ignored the whistle Thanos gave when he saw Loki's ass. He dressed as quickly as possible and deliberately avoided looking at himself in the mirror, knowing that he must look like hell. 

 

When he stepped out Fandral and Thanos were standing very close to each other snickering about something. Thanos let his eyes roam over Loki's body as Fandral stepped forward and clapped his hands together. "Alright, let me walk you out." 

 

Loki avoided Thanos' gaze and the taunting way he called out "Bye, Loki! It was nice to _see_ you!" to the man’s retreating back. 

 

Once they were on the other side of the door Loki asked again, "Are you going to take me home?" He did his damnedest to look adorable and imploring, but Fandral shook his head.

 

"Nah, babe. I'm really tired. Fucking you wears me out," he said with a grin as he wrapped his arms around Loki's waist. Perhaps it was meant to be flirty, but Loki had to, once more, fight tears as his date leaned in to kiss him goodbye. "I'll text you," he said before he turned around and went back into his apartment. 

 

Loki cried the whole walk home. 

 

\----

 

When Loki returned to his dorm room he had dried his eyes, although he was certain they were still red and puffy, wiped his nose and calmed his breathing. He had to circle the building a few times to do so, because he could not seem to stop leaking no matter how many time he wiped furiously at his face or slapped his cheeks to stabilize himself, but he made sure that when he walked into the room he looked, if not happy, then at least normal - he could always blame his runny nose and eyes on allergies. He was not even sure if Bruce was awake, and he was almost positive that his roommate would not inquire too heavily about his date, but he did not want to invite too many questions with his appearance.

 

What Loki had not prepared himself for was opening his door and finding Natasha sitting on his bed reading one of his books. Natasha was not Bruce. Natasha asked questions.

_Shit._

 

“Hey, Nat,” he greeted softly, hoping that she couldn’t hear the slight shake in his voice, as he peered around the door to see if his roommate was present.

 

He wasn’t.

 

Well shit, this meant that Natasha wouldn’t feel the need to edit herself.

 

Instead of answering him, his best friend put the book down in her lap and considered Loki as he stood, somewhat awkwardly, in the doorway. There was a full thirty seconds of her taking him in before she asked, “Did you have a good time?”

 

Loki released a breath he had not realized he was holding and walked all of the way into the room so he could close the door behind him. “Yeah, um, yeah we, uh, we saw a movie and, um, he bought me dinner and –”

 

“Why are you covered in bruises?!” Natasha interrupted.

 

Loki had been pulling his shirt off so he could change into pajamas and whipped his head around in horror to face his equally horrified best friend who had leapt off of the bed and crossed over to Loki so she could examine his body.

 

_Godmutherfuckingdammit._

 

For all of his precautions about evidence of his crying he went and immediately _stripped_ in front of the last person he wanted to know about his sexual encounter. As Loki opened his mouth to come up with some reason as to why it was perfectly acceptable for him to come back from a date with dark purple bruises on his almost naked body, because Natasha couldn’t see where he hurt the most, she interjected again.

 

“Did you have sex with him?”

 

Loki knew that he would have told her about this eventually, and maybe even tomorrow after he had some time to process the evening’s events and come up with a clever retelling of the story to make it sound less terrifying than it had been for him, but at this moment his mouth went dry and his mind went blank. He lamely nodded at her and dropped his gaze to the floor.

 

“Did he hurt you?” Natasha asked without missing a beat.

 

Loki did have enough sense to know that he needed to shake his head immediately. If he told her how aggressive and pushy he had been he knew that she would encourage, if not demand, that Loki end his budding relationship with his crush and he didn’t want to do that – especially not after everything he had gone through. “No, no he didn’t hurt me,” he responded in what he hoped was a confident voice.

 

She gave him another long look before nodding slowly. “Alright then… did he take care of you?”

 

“What?”

 

“Did you finish?”

 

“I don’t under-“

 

“ _Did he make you come?”_ she asked in an eerily quiet voice.

 

Once again, Loki _knew_ that he would have been giving his friend these details eventually, although he always imagined it over Chinese take out and manicures, but right now all of the blood in his body rushed into his cheeks as he sputtered. He was normally so good with words – if only he had had time to process everything and get his head straight! But with every second that passed he felt his anxiety building and his heart rate speeding up.

 

“Y-yes,” he whispered as he finished pulling his Pokémon pajama pants on and turned away from her to locate a shirt.

 

Natasha did not reply to him, she just gazed at her friend’s pale back with a dejected expression. Loki looked like he needed a hug, but he was acting as though he might fall to pieces if she gave him one. She knew enough about him to identify when Loki needed affection and when he needed space - and right now, although she did _not_ want to leave him, he needed space.

 

When he turned to face her once more, after pulling on a soft, grey tee, he looked like he was going to cry and it broke Natasha’s heart. She knew better than to comment on in tonight, though. Tomorrow she would bring him breakfast and see if he was up to giving her details. 

 

She leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “I’ll text you tomorrow,” she said softly to his confused face. She took his hands in hers and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Get some sleep.”

 

Before Loki could respond his friend grabbed her bag and left.

 

He was infinitely grateful that she knew when, and more importantly when _not_ , to press him for information. If she had stayed much longer he was certain he would have fallen to pieces and that would have been the end of Fandral.

 

Loki did not realize, as he climbed into bed, that it wasn’t right for him to be afraid of telling best friend about his date. It was wrong for him to dismiss the pain he felt in his throat as he held back tears and the ache in his lower back as he laid himself down. It was unhealthy that he felt _indebted_ to this man for having _the courtesy_ to sleep with him even though Loki had made such an ass of himself. He should not find himself this unhappy after his first date with a man he was so crazy about.

 

It was wrong for tears, that couldn’t be held back any longer, to be falling onto his pillow as he fell into extremely fitful sleep.

 

It was wrong that, in his own bed, Tony was doing the same thing.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m sorry :’( Please review!


	5. A Game, A Movie and Oodles of Noodles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a sex dream, Loki takes a shower, Thor plays some football, and everyone watches a movie together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, my beautiful darlings! Thank you thank you thank you so much for the feedback I am getting on this story on ff.n, ao3, and tumblr. You are all amazing and I cannot express how much your kind words mean to me. I love you all dearly. 
> 
> I am sorry for the deaths I caused with the last chapter. Have some Loki fluff to reanimate your corpses.

oooooooo

 

Tony groaned as the soft, pink tongue that was currently teasing him ran over the slit of his cock again. He let his head fall back against the shower wall while hot water rained over him, and the smaller body on its knees in front of him. Although it was hard to grip from the moisture, Tony’s hand was fisted in the dark black hair of the man pleasuring him as he continually massaged the scalp - encouraging and guiding. It was sinful how gorgeous those cheekbones stood out against the hollowed face as it moved up and down his length. Dark lashes stood out against pale skin, and from this bird’s eye angle that Tony had they looked especially long and pretty.

 

As the head moved back and forth along his length the insides of those pale cheeks would clamp down around him as that wicked tongue ran along the vein on the underside of Tony’s sex. Swollen, red lips maintained a grip on the hard flesh and each time the head moved far back enough that the tip might slip out, those lips would suck him right back down.

 

He was so close. So, so close to releasing in that wicked little mouth. Tony groaned as he imagined that tricky little pink tongue lapping up his cum as it dribbled out of that mouth. The image made his cock twitch, and right as he was about to unload those eyelashes suddenly turned up to reveal dazzling green iris’ beneath.

 

_Oh, Loki…_

 

“Tony?”

 

What. The. Absolute. Fuck.

 

“Hey, Tony, are you all right?” came the voice of his roommate.

 

The engineer rolled over and groaned a response. He had been _so close!_ “Yeah, man. Sorry, was I groaning or something?” he asked sleepily.

 

Steve raised an eyebrow at him. “You were moaning...” he mumbled quietly. It was an awkward thing for a roommate to hear, but young Steve Rogers did not have the people skills to realize that it was _infinitely_ more awkward to actually wake up the moaner, and point it out.

 

It was early enough and Tony was irritated enough with the interruption that he didn’t need to fight off embarrassment, so instead he just grunted an apology and rolled back over in his bed.

 

Sweet, ever-loving, god that had been a hot dream. The usual guilt that filled his belly when anything sexual involving Loki entered his perverted mind was absent from him at this moment, allowing him to slip his eyes shut and peacefully replay the image of that head moving _over and over_ –

 

“I’m about to head to warm up,” Steve interrupted again. To be fair, he didn’t realize that he was intruding on fantasy hour in Tony’s brain, but the engineer growled to himself anyway.

 

“Good luck today, I’ll be at the game,” he responded, his voice still rough from sleep.

 

Steve raised an All-American eyebrow at that. “Really? You never come to games,” he pointed out.

 

Tony rolled over and sat up so he could stretch, because the memory was fading fast and he might as well get up and be productive (or run to the shower and enjoy what he could recall while it lasted). “I’m gonna meet up with Loki,” he explained as he popped his joints.

 

“Thor’s little brother?”

 

Tony rolled his neck to one side. _Pop_. “That’s him.” Then rolled it to the other. _Pop_.

 

“I didn’t realize you two would be spending time together outside of your required lab hours,” Steve said in a perfectly innocent and curious way but since Tony was already cranky from being woken up and interrupted in his unconscious sexy-times he detected a note of judgment and puffed up like a bird.

 

“We are allowed to be friends outside of this project,” he snapped.

 

Steve was taken aback by the attitude. “Right. Sorry, I didn’t mean to –”

 

“No, I’m sorry. I speak unkind words in the mornings. I’m gonna go shower and wake up,” Tony grumbled as he rubbed his face in his hands. “Good luck at the game, I’ll see you out there,” he offered with a smile, hoping that Steve would forgive his bitchiness.

 

He was rewarded with a confused smile and a nod from his roommate before the blonde left for warm up.

 

It really wasn’t anything personal about Steve; Tony was just kind of a bitch sometimes. He wasn’t a morning person and would have probably rolled back over and willed the dream to return if he didn’t have plans to meet Loki. Speaking of which…

 

Tony wanted to look especially handsome today, since Loki’s big date was last night. It simply would not do for him to show up looking scruffy and unkempt. So to the shower he went, and if his hand slipped and accidentally started jerking his cock then how could he _possibly_ be blamed for where his mind might travel…

 

oooooooo

 

Loki had not slept well. Every time he shifted during the night his muscles would scream at him and he would jolt awake, confused and in pain. He finally gave up trying to sleep around 8 a.m. and decided to just start Saturday early. He desperately wanted a shower, he could still feel Fandral’s release between his legs and he cursed himself for not bathing the night before.

 

Being clean was very important to him, and because he thought of his bed as such a sanctuary he never got in it when he was that sweaty and gross. But he had been out of sorts last night and Natasha had distracted him. Now, as he slowly rolled out of bed and quietly groaned at his protesting muscles, he thought he would be better off just soaking himself in a bath like a pan in the sink. It wasn’t just semen he needed to cleanse, there was also a lot of dried blood. It was disgusting.

 

He still felt frenzied and confused; no doubt in part to how poorly he rested, and sincerely wished that he did not have a football game to attend today as he would much prefer to stew in his poor mood in solitude. This kind of mood would usually warrant an early morning run to clear his head, but there was no way that his body could handle that right now. It felt like even stretching would tempt his tendons to just snap.

 

He gathered his towel and shower caddy as quietly as he possibly could, as Bruce was finally in the room and very much asleep, and slipped out the door.

 

It was early enough that he did not run into people in the hallway or the bathroom, which was great since he still looked like hell. Loki enjoyed it when he was the only one in the bathroom; he hated being naked in the same vicinity as others. Also he enjoyed singing in the bathroom because the acoustics were great and there was no fucking way he would ever do it with other people around to hear him.

 

He took another glance around, just to be safe, before slipping off his clothes and placing them on the plastic bench outside the cramped shower stall. He slipped his shower flip-flops on, because this bathroom was _nasty_ , and turned the nozzle to hot hot hot as a tator tot.

 

 

The water felt amazing on his sore body as he tilted his head back and let the droplets cascade down him. His mother had told him once, as a child, that there were few maladies in life that could not be cured by a good night’s rest, a hot shower, or a hearty meal – and most of the time she was right. Right now the water was doing its damnest to soothe him and it was working.  

 

He lathered up the washcloth in his hands with his fancy body wash that his mother had purchased for him before he left for term. His mother _loved_ spoiling her boys, and since she didn’t have a daughter she took full advantage of Loki’s proclivity for nicer things and treated him to lotion and skincare that made him all clean and pretty.

 

He wished that he could sit down in here and let the water just rain over him, or rest in a bathtub and soak, but there were no bathtubs in this building, the floor was growing something and it was too small for Loki to be seated anyway. So he took care, as he always did, to maintain his balance as he lifted up one leg at a time and then washed his entire body once, twice and then a third time for good measure.

 

Washing his body first went against everything in nature because everyone knows that when a person climbs into a shower the first thing they must attend to is their hair. But Loki felt infinitely better once the mess between his legs was cleaned. The area was still tender and he was actually a bit embarrassed by how uncomfortable he was touching himself down there, even in this perfectly chaste way.

 

He shampooed and conditioned his hair, taking the extra five minutes to let his conditioner sit and work its magic, then cleansed and scrubbed his face, started humming the fight song that the band would be playing at the game later, and found that he was just too defeated to sing. With a resigned huff he turned off the water and began to towel off.

 

When he stepped out of the bathroom and began to make his way down the hall a wild Russian appeared outside of his door.

 

Natasha was seated with her back against the wall holding two bags of what Loki presumed was food, and a drink carafe next to her with hot beverages.

 

God he loved this woman.

 

“Hey, boobs,” he called quietly.

 

She looked up at him and smiled at his tousled, wet and still curling hair. “Hey, bitch,” she replied before holding up the bags, “I brought you breakfast, chicken legs.”

 

“I don’t have chicken legs. That’s what you call it when someone’s thighs are huge and their calves are skinny,” he explained as he unlocked the door.

 

Natasha fought to keep a straight face and raised a critical eyebrow at him before intentionally dropping her gaze to give his legs elevator eyes.

 

“What are you saying?!” he shrieked, forgetting that Bruce was asleep.

 

That was how their neighbors woke up: to the sound of Loki freaking out about his thighs and Natasha’s laughter.

 

oooooooo

 

Were it not for his brother, Loki would have zero interest in football and he would certainly not attend the school games. Frankly he could not understand the appeal in a sport consisting mainly of people slamming themselves into each other while fully clothed. It sounded painful, noisy and dangerous and he had television shows he would rather be watching.

 

But Loki adored his brother. So he was there, every time, cheering Thor on with the rest of the crowd. He also got a bit of an ego kick when his popular, well-liked brother would make a beeline towards him after games for a congratulatory hug before he even considered his other friends.

 

Natasha, being the darling she is, attended every game with Loki so that he didn’t have to sit alone. Also she liked looking at the players in their tight pants. Today she had brought her roommate, Pepper Potts, with her. Loki had met Pepper a few times the year before, because she had been Nat’s roommate then, as well, and he liked her pretty well. She was sassy, confident and incredibly organized. And Loki liked her hair. Mostly she would focus on her homework or whatever she had in her lap while Loki and Natasha watched _Doctor Who_ , but occasionally she came with them to meals and they all got along fine. Pepper also had a tendency to play hostess, even when they weren’t at home, and had brought coffee for the three of them to the game.

 

Loki didn’t like people, but Pepper had his permission to live.

 

The stands were incredibly uncomfortable on his aching rear, and as he was weighing the pros and cons of how suspicious it would be to ball up his sweater and sit on top of it, he saw someone take a seat next to him in his peripheral vision.

 

“Good morning, Sigmund!” Tony greeted brightly as he took his seat. “Here, I brought you a scone,” he said as he handed Loki a wrapped treat. “Natasha, I brought one for you, as well,” he said as he reached around Loki to give her hers, and then glanced to the strawberry blonde sitting on Natasha’s other side and apologized, “I’m sorry I didn’t know someone else was coming or I would have brought one for you.”

 

The mysterious blonde tilted her head back to see behind the heads of the two people sitting between them and offered him a smile. “It’s only fair because I didn’t bring you any coffee.”

 

Loki was frowning at the snack in his hand. Why were his friends trying to make him fat? Natasha had brought him two breakfast tacos and a mocha Frappuccino and they all had plans to grab lunch after the game. It was sweet of Tony, but Loki was full and perhaps a big vain when it came to his figure, so he offered his thanks and tucked it into his pocket.

 

Thor could eat it later.

 

Loki noticed that something smelled really good and began using his exquisitely trained sniffer to find the source. Oddly enough, it seemed that the fragrance was coming from the man seated next to him.

 

“What are you wearing?”

 

Tony paused his chewing and a crumb that had been on the corner of his mouth fell off. “Hnn?”

 

“You smell like cologne, what is it?” Loki asked as he peered at Tony as though studying him would magically make the brand of scent appear in a rainbow over the engineer’s head.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Tony answered as he swallowed thickly. “It’s Armani… it’s no big deal I just kind of put it on this morning,” he rambled. It would not do for Loki to think he was some kind of uppity bitch who wore designer products to school sporting events – but it did please Tony that Loki noticed it.

 

“Oh, well it smells nice,” Loki replied as he sipped at his coffee.

 

That pleased Tony, as well.

 

“So, I don’t go to a lot of football games – or any, really,” Tony began, “Can you explain the rules? And which one is Thor?”

 

Loki laughed at that and pointed his brother out. “Can’t you tell? He’s the blonde giant over there.”

 

Thor happened to look up at that moment and beamed as he waved to his little brother. Loki had a designated spot in the stands so that Thor could always spot him when he cheered because otherwise it would be impossible to locate him – the stadium was huge.

 

Loki waved back and smiled, although Thor probably couldn’t see it. “I’ll explain the rules as it goes on. It is not difficult to understand.”

 

Truthfully, Tony had researched the rules of football the night before, because he didn’t want to appear foolish to Loki or uncaring toward Thor, but around 2 a.m. it occurred to him that if he pretended to know nothing then he could potentially get a running commentary from Loki.

 

He was not disappointed.

 

Loki told to him what the different plays meant, why points were awarded for different things, why the linebackers were stupid, why the guy with the blue bandage on his leg needed to dye his hair, why Thor was annoying for mixing his sweaty football clothes in with Loki’s laundry, why he enjoyed the drum line more than the actual sport, why he was going to kill the boy on the other team who tackled his brother, why he needed to repaint his nails…

 

Oh, it had worked marvelously.

 

It also distracted Loki from the mood he had been in when he arrived at the game. After he got out of the shower and ate with Natasha he began feverishly checking his phone for any kind of message from Fandral only to be disappointed each time. Since they could not talk, because Bruce was sleeping, they had curled up in Loki’s bed and pulled up the latest episode of _Supernatural_ , and ever since then he had been in a gloomy mood.

 

Natasha’s crack about his thighs had not helped, even though he knew she was kidding.

 

But as Loki rambled on and on to Tony he found his spirits lifting and he had not thought about Fandral once until Pepper asked,

 

“Oh! Loki I meant to ask – how was your big date last night?”

 

And Tony and Loki’s hearts sank at the same time.

 

Thankfully, Natasha interjected before Loki had to come up with some excuse for why he didn’t want to talk about it or lie.

 

“He can tell us about it later, when it’s more quiet,” she answered for him, knowing that neither of them would bring it up and if Pepper asked again they could continue to deflect the question.

 

Loki, without taking his eyes off of the game, reached over and gently squeezed Natasha’s hand in thanks. She squeezed back, knowing that this was as close as they would come to talking about whatever happened last night for a while.

 

She had decided that she would not ask Loki about anything until he brought it up himself, and since he elected to watch _Supernatural_ instead of going on a walk so he could gush, Natasha gleaned that he still wasn’t ready. Whatever had happened, her friend would tell her in his own time, and she just prayed that it wasn’t anything too horrible or she would actually flay choirboy alive.

 

Although Tony was grateful that they weren’t going to discuss the date, because he wasn’t sure if he would be able to withhold his snippy remarks about Fandral’s stupid hair, he was _dying_ to know what happened. He noticed though, after Natasha answered for Loki, that he grabbed her hand. Was he thanking her for deflecting the question? Why wouldn’t Loki want to talk about it? Did that mean it hadn’t gone well?

 

If he were a good friend, of one week, he might have been sad for Loki at the idea that his big date had not gone well, but Tony was _not_ a good friend so instead his heart perked right back up.

 

Fuck Fandral!

 

The game ended a few minutes later, and as they stood and stretched their bodies Thor jogged over to them and swept his little brother up in a bone-crushing hug.

 

“Victory!” he screamed in Loki’s ear, much to his brother’s annoyance.

 

Loki hugged his brother back and grinned. “Of course you were victorious, you’re an oaf,” he chided as Thor put him back down.

 

The blonde laughed and smiled at the rest of the party. “Are we all ready for lunch? Although I suppose it’s more like dinner now…”

 

Four heads turned and nodded at each other. Tony liked that Thor just assumed he would be joining them when no one had officially asked.

 

As the group headed out of the stadium, Tony smiled fondly at the image in front of him: Thor had swung his burly, grass-stained arm over Loki’s shoulders and was cheerfully recalling the highlights of the game to his amused little brother. He pulled Loki towards him to demonstrate what he had done to another player and as the raven-haired boy struggled to throw Thor’s arm off it shifted the scarf Loki had been wearing.

 

Tony had not thought too much of the scarf, although it was unusual for someone to be wearing one in such warm weather, but it went with Loki’s outfit so he figured it was a fashion statement. But now that it was coming off a bit from Thor’s movements, Tony recognized its intended purpose.

 

There were hickeys on Loki’s neck.

 

Young Potter managed to wrangle out of Thor’s grip as his older brother laughed and rearranged his scarf before his sibling could notice the marks, but Tony had seen them.

 

For the second time that day, his heart sank.

 

oooooooo

 

The restaurant they went to was another favorite of the Odinson bros; a hole in the wall Chinese place called _Oodles of Noodles_. There were only a few other people in there eating, and Tony rather liked the quiet, intimate feel it had. The group was seated in a small booth next to the window, and even though Loki’s best friend, her roommate, and his brother were here, he was the person it made the most sense for Tony to sit next to. So after Loki slid onto the plastic covered leather of the seat, Tony slipped right in next to him.

 

Loki probably didn’t notice that their thighs were touching, but Tony had to fight the urge to place his hand on the bony knee next to him.

 

“Natasha!” Thor boomed. “How was your first week of classes?” One of the things Tony liked about Thor, so far, was how everything he said was genuine. If he asked you a question, he really wanted the answer – even if it was just small talk. So when he posed this inquiry, he turned to face the lady he was addressing and gave her his full attention.

 

“Not bad, but I wish I had a class with Loki this semester,” she replied as she poured over the menu.

 

“Ah, I wish that too. He’s a great study partner!” Thor replied enthusiastically as he smiled at his brother.

 

Loki gave him a sort of embarrassed grin. “How would you know? You never actually study,” he teased before laughing and ducking his head very close to Tony’ neck to avoid the sugar packet Thor had thrown at his head.

 

His laugh had left warm breath on Tony’s skin and the engineer shifted a bit to fight the desire to squirm under the unintentional stimulation.

 

“Thor, do you want to share something? I’m really not that hungry,” Loki posed as he idly tapped his fingers on the table while his eyes raked over the menu he already knew by heart.

 

Thor had just polished off the scone Loki saved for him, but was still a ravenous beast and flashed his brother an apologetic smile. “Loki I think I’m going to require a lot of food tonight. You know how hungry I become after football games,” he said sheepishly.

 

Oh Loki knew. Thor could empty a grocery store when he was hungry, and he didn’t need the games as an excuse.

 

“Nat?” Loki tried.

 

But she and Pepper were going to share something together.

 

“I’ll share with you,” Tony offered, hoping that he didn’t sound as nervous about proposing that as he felt.

 

Loki hadn’t noticed.

 

“Is chow mein alright?”

 

Tony nodded. “Oh yeah, I love me some noodles. I like to _chow_ on them. Ah? Ah?” he joked as he poked Loki.

 

“Go sit in a corner,” Natasha scolded as Loki scowled at him. Thor laughed, though, so he won all the points.

 

“Loki are we still going to watch a movie tonight?” Thor asked as the waiter brought them drinks.

 

Loki had been checking his phone under the table, something he thought he was being covert about but everyone, including the waiter, had noticed. “Yes…” he began slowly, “But where do you want to watch it? Natasha and Pepper were going to join and our rooms are a bit small,” he mused.

 

Tony perked up at that. “You can watch your movie at my house,” he offered.

 

Loki raised an eyebrow at him. “I thought you lived in a dorm.”

 

“Well, yes most of the time. But my parents left me a house and it’s only ten minutes from campus,” Tony explained, neglecting to mention that it was a _mansion_ because there was a good chance they already knew that and he didn’t want to sound pretentious.

 

“You would really be alright with that? We are watching the extended edition of _The Fellowship of the Ring_ ,” Loki said slowly.

 

Tony grinned at the movie choice. “Of course, that sounds great. Yeah, after we eat and Thor gets cleaned up we can head over there.”

 

“Thank you, Tony Stark,” Thor beamed. “That is most generous of you.”

 

Natasha and Pepper both offered their thanks and their smiles, but the most rewarding thing for Tony was when Loki put his damn phone away in his pocket and smiled at him. Of course, he immediately frowned and started criticizing the way Tony’s hair was flipping in the back, but the engineer liked that too.

 

When their food came the waiter forgot to put their meal on two separate plates – which was annoying to Loki, but Tony (while hiding his excitement) just said, “It’s okay, I trust that you don’t have cooties.”

 

Loki never backed down from a challenge, something that being a little brother does to a person, and immediately licked Tony’s fork.

 

Tony also never backed down from a challenge, something being the only child of a successful billionaire with do to you, so he picked up that fork, swirled some noodles around on it and popped it in his mouth – all the while grinning at his astonished seatmate.

 

“That’s disgusting,” Loki commented as he picked up his own fork.

 

Thor was laughing at the display before him and pointed out, “How dirty is your mouth, little brother?”

 

Loki retaliated with a sugar packet to the head as his brother had done to him earlier.

 

While the boys were busy trying to best one another, Pepper quietly whispered to Natasha, “Is there something going on between Tony and Loki?”

 

The redheaded Russian grinned and glanced at the men sitting across from her who were now stabbing at each other’s forks on the plate of noodles.

 

“Not yet,” she whispered back.

 

oooooooo

 

Tony’s house was impressive. Hell, it was a mansion! Although Thor’s parent’s home was also fairly large, it had nothing on the vast _wealth_ of this place. Everything, the floors, the stairs, the furniture, etc., looked like it ought not to be touched and the blonde even wondered if he should take his shoes off just to walk around the place. Everyone quickly decided that this was where all movies would be watched from now on.

 

Tony didn’t realize they were only half kidding.

 

The room Tony directed them to looked as though it was scarcely used, despite the enormous television displayed in it. Everything looked too neat for this to be a proper living room.

 

Tony noticed Thor’s furrowed brows over the perfectly straightened pillows and explained, “I don’t entertain much.”

 

Thor smiled at him. “Well, thank you for having us over. Your home is lovely,” he said.

 

Pepper had been admiring the artwork on the walls and piped up. “It really is! Did you decorate this? Some of this artwork is actually quite rare…”

 

Tony laughed at that. “Oh no, that was my mother’s work. Hell, if you like it you can _have_ it,” he said nonchalantly as he took the DVD from Thor and went to put it in.

 

Pepper’s eyes had grown huge. Natasha shook her head at her roommate and pointed her to one of two large, squishy-looking chairs aimed at the television. They were positioned on either side of the couch and Natasha wanted for Loki to be able to sit with his brother so she took the other chair.

 

_Plus that meant he would sit with Tony_.

 

“Would anyone like something to drink?” Tony asked as he started toward the kitchen. “I’m gonna grab a beer.”

 

Natasha glanced at Pepper, who shrugged and nodded, so she did the same. Tony was providing a place to drink while they were still underage? Hells yeah.

 

“Loki turn your phone off,” Thor gently ordered as the DVD started up. It appeared as though his younger brother was attempting to be covert as he glanced down at his side every five seconds. Perhaps Loki didn’t realize that his phone kept lighting up when he checked it and that he had a tendency to pout every time it did so. As much as he wanted to appear supportive of his sibling’s personal life, it really pissed him off that this guy hadn’t called Loki since their date and every time his brother checked his phone for a message and was disappointed it broke Thor’s heart a little. He hated seeing Loki sad, especially when there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

 

Young Freud looked distressed at the command, but obliged nonetheless. He wished that he didn’t care so much, because he realized how pathetic this made him look, but he wished even more that Fandral had texted or _something_. Didn’t he realize that taking someone’s virginity is a big deal and that it comes with certain responsibilities? Like making sure the deflowered feels pretty and important the following day! It also seemed like his crush should be more concerned with Loki’s physical well being. Last night had been incredibly painful and if his date had any decency he would have checked in to see if Loki was sore or injured. But then again, maybe he was just being a drama queen and this radio-silence was perfectly normal. He wished that he could ask Thor, but he was almost certain that if he told his _very_ protective older brother that a boy took his virginity and hadn’t called him since that Thor would rip said boy’s dick off without a second thought.

 

“Come here, you,” came that same gentle tone from the blonde, who was seated on the couch. He patted the seat next to him and reached out one of his big, loving arms to pull Loki to him as the younger of the two sat down. “I know you’re upset that this boy has not yet called you, but he will. For now, just try to relax and enjoy the movie with your friends, alright?” he coaxed sweetly.

 

Loki sighed, a bit more dejectedly than he intended, and curled into his brother. The larger man shifted so that his left leg was up and stretched out along the back of the couch and his brother could sit in between his legs with his back flush against the blonde’s chest. His right knee was bent and hanging off the couch and he wrapped both of his arms around Loki in a protective and comforting hug.

 

To an outsider it would probably look weird for brother’s to be sitting so intimately – but Thor and Loki had always been exceptionally close. The older of the two had lived his whole life being fiercely protective of the younger and Loki returned the favor with intense devotion and admiration. The brothers adored one another and were closer than the best of friends.  They told one another everything and knew each other’s fears, hopes, dreams, secrets, and even things they did not know about themselves; and no matter what they learned or gleaned about each other they remained ever loyal and loving.

 

Which was why it was so horrible that Loki was afraid to tell Thor about his date.

 

This had not gone unnoticed by Thor. He desperately wanted to interrogate Loki about the previous evening’s events and hear about how Fandral behaved and whether or not he was a gentlemen and learn _why_ there were so many bruise on Loki’s neck. But, much like Natasha, he could recognize poor timing with the diva and so kept his mouth shut. He did, however, curl his arms a bit tighter around his brother, willing for his embrace to demonstrate to Loki that he was safe with Thor – no matter what.

 

By the time the DVD previews had ended and the film began, Loki had completely relaxed into the hold, and because he was a punk he had stretched his legs out in front of him and claimed the rest of the couch for his feet so Tony would have to put up with them.

 

When the engineer returned he handed out the beverages, then moved to the couch, as it was the only available seating left, picked up Loki’s feet before claiming the cushion with his ass and then letting the extremities rest in his lap.

 

Loki thought he was being an adorable little shit by making Tony sit with his feet in his lap. He had no idea that the genius was secretly thrilled to be _holding_ a part of him. Tony’s left hand curled around the drink he had placed on the side table next to him and ‘absentmindedly’ placed his right on Loki’s ankle.

 

It was fortunate for him that the other occupants of the room had their attention focused on the film and Tony’s weirdo smile went unnoticed.

 

oooooooo

 

Three hours later everyone was out like a light. Natasha had pulled a blanket over herself and was curled up in a tiny Russian ball with her red hair fanning out over a fancy pillow. Thor’s head was dropped back against the couch with his mouth hanging comically open as he snored lightly, arms still wrapped around Loki. The younger brother had shifted so his front was resting on Thor’s chest with his arms bent and his hands in loose fists, dangerously close to his mouth as though he was intending to suck his thumb. He was drooling on his brother and were he awake to realize it, would have laughed and been delighted.

 

Tony blearily opened his eyes and blinked a few times before he remembered where he was and what was happening. He could not have been asleep for more than an hour but it felt like he had woken up from a very deep sleep. He was slouched more in his seat, but Loki’s feet still remained in his lap. He smiled at the realization and curled his arms around them, much like Thor.

 

Tony didn’t want to turn the movie off, because the glow of the screen gave a nice ambiance to the room, but he did reach over to the remote so he could mute it and let everyone continue to rest comfortably. The bodies on the couch were warm from sleep and closeness, and Tony could not remember the last time he had felt this content.

 

It scared him, a bit, that such a feeling could come from falling asleep to a movie with people he barely knew and a boy’s feet in his lap. He wasn’t used to these kinds of emotions and felt ridiculous at how happy such a small thing made him. He comforted himself with the knowledge that it wasn’t just Loki, though, that was making him feel this way.

 

Tony had never really had friends. Sure, he had his roommate, and he had a lot of acquaintances, and he got on well with a lot of people at _Stark Industries_ (he was a charming guy) – but he never had people he could just watch a movie and crash with. It didn’t matter that he barely knew the people he was sharing this moment with - it felt like friendship. He had his own tiny fellowship right here, as cheesy as that was, and he liked it.

 

Tony smiled contentedly as he nestled further into the couch and hugged Loki’s petite feet closer to his chest.

 

Sophomore year looked like it was going to be all right. 

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have always wanted to find a place called Oodles of Noodles. 
> 
> I write the brothers a bit ooc, because I am a huge sucker for fluff with them. Also, Pepper isn’t going to be a bitch in this story. 
> 
> In the future my goal is to have a new chapter up every Sunday – so I will try very hard not to be an asshole and to actually get that done! :3
> 
> Y’all rock, thanks for reading, and please review! <3


	6. Grumpy Thor, a Blowjob, and a Massage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The brothers have lunch, Loki’s mouth is manhandled by a stinky dick, and Tony gives him a massage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Early update! :3

oooooooo  
  
Loki had all but given up on Fandral.

 

He told himself that if he made it to Monday without hearing anything from his date that he needed to accept reality and move on. He suspected that Fandral had only been interested in going out with him for sex and apparently bragging rights with his roommate, and unfortunately with every day after the date that passed it seemed his suspicions were correct.

 

Currently he was on his way to his weekly lunch with Thor, and since he didn’t need to worry about his brother discouraging him from going out with Fandral again (since apparently that wouldn’t be happening anyway) he decided to tell his brother about the events of that night. The thing Loki wanted to address most was the issue of sex.

 

He really had no idea how sex was supposed to work. He didn’t know if it was normal to be in that much pain, or to have your partner refuse to stop, or if that really was what was expected of adult relationships. He felt like Fandral might have coerced him into sex, but he kept doubting himself and wondering if his date was right: he turned everything into a production. Loki might be clever and intelligent when it came to almost every other area in his life – but sex and relationships? He was clueless.

 

Thor, on the other hand, was seasoned in both topics. His brother had had five girlfriends by the time he left middle school and had lost his virginity sophomore year of high school. Loki had always called his brother a skank for it (yes, to his face), but now he needed to pull from that wealth of experience and information.  

 

Loki slipped into the cafeteria and swept his eyes around for his brother as he made his way over to the grapes.

 

_Tasty, tasty grapes_.

 

After he spent a solid five minutes selecting his fruit he spotted Thor waving to him. The huge, blond dope had an enormous smile on his face and Loki couldn’t help but grin back. He could always count on his brother to lift his spirits when he was down, which meant Thor might have to take him for ice cream after this talk.

 

“Brother!” he greeted as Loki sat down.

 

“Don’t spray bacon on me today or I shall be forced to kill you,” Loki replied.

 

His brother gave a bit booming laugh at that and shook his head. “I purposefully avoided bacon. I didn’t want to incense you,” he joked.

 

Loki made a face at him and began picking at his food. He didn’t really know how to start this conversation…

 

“You look troubled. Is everything alright?” Thor asked, making his job a  bit easier.

 

Loki nodded slowly and considered his words. “I, um… I need to talk to you about something…” he began awkwardly.

 

“Anything! What’s wrong?” Thor replied with urgency. His whole face immediately donned a concerned expression and he leaned forward in his chair to give Loki his full attention.

 

“It’s about Fan-”

 

But just as he began the sentence he heard someone call his name from right behind him.

 

It was Fandral.

 

Loki’s eyes grew to their dinner plate size and his mouth hung open as his date came up to stand next to him and placed a hand on the back of Loki’s neck. “Hey you,” the blond greeted with a grin.

 

As usual, when he was around his crush, Loki couldn’t find words so he just smiled back. A mixture of relief, excitement and anxiety had flooded his system; it made his head spin and his bones feel loose.

 

“Listen, what are you doing tonight?” Fandral asked as he gave the back of Loki’s neck a small squeeze. He still hadn’t acknowledged Thor who was frowning loudly at him.

 

“Ah – um, nothing!” Loki answered in a somewhat high-pitched voice. Damn he was completely incapable of playing it cool. Flirting was not his thing. If Loki wanted to seduce someone he would have better luck just bending over and saying, “Just do it.” Also his words were not true, he had a meeting with Anthony tonight. The realization made his stomach drop with horror (all in the span of about two seconds) and he quickly corrected himself. “I mean, I have a meeting tonight for my project, but it won’t last long.”

 

Fandral nodded and continued to squeeze his neck. Perhaps it was meant to be comforting, but it was actually making him a bit nervous. Placing a hand on the back of Loki’s neck was something that Thor did, and based on the look Thor was giving the man touching his little brother he would prefer if it remained _his_ thing. “What time are you meeting him?” he asked.

 

“Nine.” Loki whispered back breathlessly. His attention was so focused on Fandral that he missed the bewildered look Thor gave him.

 

“Well after choir do you want to come over?”

 

Annnd Loki’s heart stopped beating. “Yeah! I mean yes! I – yes…” he replied a bit to excitedly.

 

“Cool, I’ll see you then,” Fandral said before swooping down and claiming Loki’s lips in a kiss that was completely inappropriate for his brother as an audience.

 

In fact Thor started growling.

 

But just as quickly as the kiss had happened it ended. Fandral pulled away, flashed a little wink to Thor and departed.

 

“What do you see in that guy?” Thor asked testily as he stabbed at his chicken.

 

Thank god he was with his brother because Loki could not control the smile on his face and his heart rate was probably going to take several hours to return to normal.

_He asked me out again!_

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Thor commented as he stabbed the chicken again. “ _Anyway_ , before we were interrupted by your boyfriend, you were saying you needed to talk to me?”

 

Anxiety gripped Loki again. “Oh, that! No, it’s really nothing… and he’s not my boyfriend,” he replied quietly, still trying to calm himself.

 

Thor fixed his little brother with a look. “Are you sure? It sounded like you were going to talk about Fandral, and I still haven’t heard about your date,” he pressed.

 

Loki just shook his head and popped a grape into his mouth. “I was just going to ask if you liked him, that’s all.” Never let it be said that Loki is a poor liar. He said that with all the sincerity and conviction of someone whose heart was _not_ still hammering in their chest.

 

Thor grunted. “He has yet to impress me.”

 

Loki just smiled and picked up an orange to start peeling. He couldn’t talk to his brother about the date if Fandral wanted to go out with him again! He would just have to find some other way to answer his questions. Or maybe he didn’t need to. After all, if Fandral was asking him out again then that obviously meant he liked Loki, right? And someone who liked him wouldn’t take advantage of or hurt him. Really, he should just assume that Fandral knew what he was doing sine he _had_ had other sexual partners. He did warn Loki that it would hurt – and he had been right.

 

Loki decided to ignore the fact that he had cried all day Sunday over this boy. He pretended he couldn’t remember the shame and humiliation he felt when Thanos walked in and high-fived his roommate. He pushed the pain and suffering to the back of his mind and focused solely on the afternoon ahead.

 

_He asked me out again!_

To avoid his brother bringing up the forbidden topic of ‘the date’ again, Loki quickly shifted gears and began praising Thor for his performance in the football game and asked how he felt about the upcoming one. The blond was immediately smitten with the topic and spent the rest of the meal discussing his strategies, awesomeness and what he though of the next team. Loki smiled and nodded in the right places and pretended to give Thor his undivided attention as he fought a smile.

oooooooo

 

It seemed as though Fandral was making up for his absence this weekend because all throughout choir he would smile and wink and Loki and blow him flirty little kisses. Since Loki was still psychotically naïve about how to respond to such things he would just blush and smile shyly back.

 

It was grossing Natasha out.

 

When rehearsal ended Fandral walked over, took Loki’s hand and guided him out of the room before he had time to give Natasha a proper goodbye. He glanced over his shoulder to her as he was escorted out and mouthed “bye!” apologetically, but she just smiled, shook her head and waved him off.

 

They walked back to Fandral’s apartment hand in hand, which Loki _loved_ , while the blond talked about the movie they had seen. He made no apology or excuse for not contacting Loki all weekend, and the younger man thought it would be better not to ask about it.

 

As with the last time he had been there, the moment Loki stepped over the threshold he was scooped up by Fandral and had the breath kissed out of him. His crush’s tongue slid into his mouth as he pulled Loki’s legs around his waist and pressed him up against the wall. This time, the smaller man was a bit more knowledgeable about how to respond, so he looped his arms around the blond’s neck and opened his mouth to grant further access.

 

They stayed like that for several minutes, just pressed up against the wall making out before Fandral started rolling his hips against Loki’s.

 

Loki felt like he should have been enjoying it more, but after the initial excitement of kissing the boy he liked so much, it all started to feel very sloppy and uncoordinated and he just wanted to wipe his mouth and take a deep breath. When Fandral’s hips started moving, though, that felt good. His position was not ideal because it strained his jeans a lot to have his legs wrapped around his crush, but the blond quickly fixed that by picking Loki up and depositing him on the sex couch.

 

“Could we go in your bedroom?” Loki asked hurriedly before Fandral could start kissing him again.

 

The blond’s eyes moved over Loki’s face as he considered the question before standing back up and offering him a hand. “Sure, babe.”

 

All right, yay. So Fandral was in a more agreeable mood! Perhaps their first date had just been a fluke in his normal behavior.

 

His room was filthy. There were dirty clothes all over the floor, trash littered every surface, his bed was unmade and it smelled strongly of Taco Bell.

 

“Sorry for the mess, babe. It’s been a pretty busy week,” Fandral murmured as he guided Loki back toward the bed and laid him down. Once he had climbed over Loki he placed he balance himself on one elbow and let the other hand stroke through those raven locks before he leaned in to kiss him again.

 

Loki moaned into the kiss as Fandral’s hand left his hair and began trailing down his sides towards his pants. It would be great if they could just stick to making out – but the blond seemed insistent on interacting with Loki’s naughty bits.

 

As much as he wanted to please his crush, Loki physically _could not_ have sex yet. His body was still healing and he feared that having intercourse again, so soon, would leave some kind of permanent damage. Also, if he had to go to the hospital for an injury down there and had to explain that to his _parents_ he would literally burst into flames. (Something he was apparently prone to doing).

 

He reached down and pulled the same move that Fandral had on their first night together and intertwined his fingers with the blond’s so that he could maneuver the other’s hand away from his pants as he continued to kiss him.

 

But Fandral wasn’t falling for it.

 

He pulled his head back and removed his hand from the hold so that he could stroke Loki’s hair behind his ear. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked as he dipped his head back in to kiss along Loki’s pale jaw.

 

Fine. Let the mood be ruined.

 

“I’m still healing…” he murmured quietly, hoping that his words would suffice and that Fandral would not make him feel guilty for not putting out.

 

Much to his delight, Loki felt the man nod against his neck as he continued to kiss and nip at the flesh there. Relief flooded his system and he felt himself physically unclench at that response. Only to clench right back up again when Fandral said,

 

“We can do other stuff.”

 

Loki was only vaguely aware of what ‘other stuff’ was. He knew about hand jobs, although he had never given one, and he knew _about_ oral sex although he was not sure how to give head without gagging or suffocating. But he nodded weakly and tried to smile at his date as Fandral moved off of Loki and undid his own pants.

 

Once his jeans and underwear were removed Fandral laid back on the bed, exposing himself and began to stroke his cock like he was putting on a show. Seeing it again, in this light, Loki wondered how it had ever fit inside him. He took his other hand and reached out to Loki. “Come here,” he ordered.

 

Loki, somewhat nervously, crawled over to him and allowed Fandral to place his hand on the back of his head.

 

“You’ve never done this before?” the blond asked, making his intentions quite clear.

 

Loki just shook his head with wide eyes.

 

“It’s okay, babe. I’ll guide you through it,” he whispered seductively. “Wrap your hand around the base.”

 

Loki did as he was told. His long, thin fingers slowly came to wrap around the hard appendage and he was able to fully appreciate his body’s trauma at being impaled by the thing. Fandral did not seem very big, although Loki really had no way of knowing that for sure, but it was still much bigger than anything that had ever been in his ass before.

 

“Now lick it,” Fandral ordered.

 

Loki looked up at him and blinked. “Just… just lick it?” he asked nervously.

 

Fandral nodded and pressed the hand on the back of his head to guide Loki’s mouth to it.

 

He slowly parted his lips and allowed his soft pink tongue to run over the slit of the head. Even though he had never done this before he tried to imagine what _he_ would like to have done to him. He glanced up at Fandral looking for approval at the move and his date just nodded to him and pressed again.

 

So Loki repeated the move. He licked over the slit a few times, traced his tongue around the head and returned to the slit. Overall it wasn’t bad, it just tasted like skin, but there was a distinct smell of sweat that was starting to become overpowering. Loki couldn’t tell if it was coming from Fandral’s pubic hair or from his balls, but it was definitely sweat. Loki, a fairly hairless person anyway, kept himself _very_ well groomed down there simply because it made him feel more clean.

 

Suddenly the hand on the back of his head was pressing down again and Fandral was giving him a new order. “Wrap your lips around it.”

 

Loki took a deep gulp of air and did as he was told, wrapping his thin lips around the head of Fandral’s cock and once more glancing at him for approval.

 

“Good job, baby. Now, start moving your head up and down slowly,” Fandral guided.

 

It was uncomfortable and difficult to breathe because of the smell. Loki wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing with his tongue and his hand was still gripping the base of the cock even though it wasn’t moving. He felt awkward as he moved his head up and down.

 

“Hollow your cheeks so you can suck.”

 

Loki tried, but getting his cheeks to hollow out while keeping his teeth away from the shaft seemed impossible and made his jaw ache. He tried to compensate by running his tongue along the underside vein as he moved, but Fandral didn’t seem very impressed. The blond wrapped the hand not on the back of his head around Loki’s hand on his cock and said, “Stroke me as you suck.”

 

This was fucking impossible. How did people keep up a rhythm when they did this? Loki didn’t know if he was supposed to focus on his hand, the sucking, his tongue, keeping his teeth away and the whole time his jaw was becoming more and more sore and it was getting harder and harder to breathe because of the smell. Tears had appeared in the corner of his eyes, not from the pain but the asphyxiation, and he was actually starting to choke a bit.

 

“You okay, babe?” Fandral asked in a rare display of what sounded like concern.

 

Loki glanced up at him, with his mouth still wrapped around the cock and was certain that he looked foolish. But Fandral could see the tears in his eyes this way, so he removed the hand wrapped around Loki’s and brushed one of the tears away. “Do you want me to take over?” he asked.

 

The younger man removed his mouth and nodded. He tried to move his jaw around so it would stop aching, but almost immediately it was seized and Fandral was gripping his chin and forcing his mouth open. “Once you get good at giving head we won’t have to do this,” Fandral murmured as he pushed his cock into Loki’s mouth.

 

The intrusion choked his “hmmp!” of surprise as hands wrapped around his head and Fandral quite literally began fucking his mouth. Perhaps his crush’s words were meant to console him for his failed first attempt at a blowjob, but instead they made him feel cheap and dirty. He would have to figure this out fast because what was happening to him right now made his jaw ache _far more_ than what was happening previously.

 

Loki struggled to maintain his balance and take in air as Fandral’s pumps increased. The tears were back in his eyes and he was choking and drooling and felt disgusting. There was nothing sexy about this – he was just a wet hole for his crush to fuck. But Loki hadn’t had the worst of it, yet. Suddenly, Fandral’s groans turned into a long, punctuated moan as his hips stuttered and Loki felt something hot hit the back of his throat.

 

If Fandral had removed himself in that moment Loki would have vomited everywhere. Instead he started choking and fought to swallow the load in his throat as the tears slipped from his eyes. He let out a small whimper, hoping Fandral would take that as his cue remove himself, but instead he stroked Loki’s hair back and gazed down at him.

 

“You look so fucking hot like this, babe,” he murmured.

 

Oh well gee that’s good.

 

When he finally pulled out Loki gasped for air and fell forward on his hands as he tried to catch his breath. The lack of oxygen had made him a bit dizzy and the cum still made him want to vomit, but he knew he couldn’t do that or he would offend Fandral.

 

“Are you going to meet Tony now?” he asked as he reclined on the bed and placed his hands behind his head.

 

Oh so now Loki was being dismissed? He at least though Fandral would offer to pleasure him too, or cuddle or kiss or _something!_ But Loki wanted to be cool, so Fandral would want to see him again. So instead of crying or hitting the blond he just nodded and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

 

“Do you want to hang out again tomorrow?” Fandral asked.

 

This hardly counted as ‘hanging out’. They had been in the apartment for no more than a half hour and all they had done was make out and test Loki’s jaw strength, but once again, he brightened up and nodded.

 

Fandral sat back up and kissed Loki full on the mouth. “Good. I like spending time with you,” he murmured gently as he tucked another strand of hair behind Loki’s ear.

 

And just like that Loki was smitten again. His throat ached and his stomach was clenching, but he was excited about his crush _wanting_ to spend time with him.

 

He didn’t know better. He had no idea that to anyone looking in this was horrible and disgusting and Loki should slap the man and never speak to him again. All he knew was that Fandral wanted to see him again.

 

And unfortunately that was all that mattered.

 

oooooooo

 

That was how September passed. Loki had his weekly lunches with Thor and deliberately avoided or deflected the topic of Fandral whenever his brother asked how things were going; he attended football games and spent some evenings with Natasha; he went to his classes and choir rehearsal and whenever Fandral asked him over he would go, pleasure his boyfriend (Natasha overheard the blond refer to Loki as such so they figured it was a safe term) and then he would meet Tony for lab work.

 

It was making Tony crazy.

 

He _hated_ that he knew exactly where Loki was coming from each time they met. He hated it when Loki smelled like Fandral’s cologne, or when he would wince a bit when he sat down and smiled like everything was fine and dandy.

 

Truthfully, Tony didn’t know really anything about their relationship, because Loki refused to talk about it to _anyone._ He had actually hung out with Natasha and Pepper a few times, purely by coincidence, and Loki’s bff had informed him that she knew next to nothing about Fandral either. The difference between them, though, was that Natasha _should_ know things. She was Loki’s closest confidant, besides his brother, and the fact that he wouldn’t open up to her was suspicious bordering on alarming.

 

As far as they could all tell, Loki wasn’t in any kind of trouble. Fandral wasn’t hitting him, just leaving lots of hickeys and clearly not being as gentle as he should during sex.

 

Natasha had tried to point out to Loki once that maybe his boyfriend should be a bit tenderer and her friend had freaked out. He looked like he was going to cry, started panicking and she dropped the issue. Initially she and Thor suspected that Loki was just being very private about sex because he liked to play his cards close to his chest anyway, but now that the young couple had been together for a month and things seemed to be _worse_ , Loki’s friends were actively starting to worry.

 

Today, the last Friday in September, Tony and Loki had plans to meet, but they had gotten most of what they needed to accomplish for the week finished the previous night. They were just waiting on some signatures from their professors and then the real work would start next week. But they were contractually obligated to meet and fill out the time sheet saying they were ‘working’ so Tony proposed they get watch _A Dangerous Method_ and call it research.

 

That was actually the plan.

 

But Loki was not supposed to join Tony until seven p.m., so when he saw that his partner was calling him at five he was quite surprised. “You just couldn’t want to see me?” he joked as he answered.

 

“I think not,” came a snippy reply.

 

Oh great, Tony got to deal with a bitchy Loki.

 

“Keep lying to yourself. What’s up?” he asked.

 

There was a labored sigh on the other end. “Fandral just blew me off, can we meet now?”

 

_It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!_

 

“Of course we can, I’m at my house but I can drive back to campus if you want,” he offered. This was actually kind of awesome because that meant they could have dinner together and Tony was starving.

 

“No, I’ll come to you. I am going to grab dinner first though. Have you eaten?”

 

May the Norse Gods bless his partner.

 

“I have not, what are you in the mood for?” Tony asked as he began gathering up his sketches so they would be well out of sight when Loki got here.

 

“I was thinking of getting sandwiches – something fast and easy,” Loki answered.

 

“Like your mom,” Tony quipped.

 

There was silence on the other end.

 

“You’re going to spit in my sandwich aren’t you?” Tony asked.

 

“Yes, I am,” his partner deadpanned.

 

“Come on, you think I’m funny. If you want we can just order food when you get here – it’ll be my treat for offending you!” he offered.

 

He could not actually hear the wheels in Loki’s head turning as he considered the proposal… but he was pretty sure he could. “Alright,” he finally replied. “I’m not going to turn down free food. I’ll be there soon,” he said.

 

“Sounds good, drive safely,” Tony ordered.

 

“No!” came Loki’s sass before he hung up.

 

His partner liked to pretend that he was constantly annoyed with Tony and that they didn’t get along, but the truth was that they were spending so much time together that they had developed a charming rapport. They found very quickly that they could finish each other’s sentences, predict what the other was going to say and that they were perfectly capable of sitting in silence just doing their own thing. There was no awkwardness between them. On days when they needed to fill their three hours but didn’t have three hours of work Tony would mess with things in his lab while Loki read a book, or they would grab dinner together and log that in as ‘discussion time’. The discussions _never_ pertained to their actual work but instead both boys would take turns rambling about anything and everything.

 

Loki would tell him about _Supernatural_ or rant about people he disliked. Tony would complain about _Stark Industries_ and how he felt like no one really respected him because of his age.

 

They just talked. Like friends. It was really nice and even though Tony hated that Loki was usually coming from an ‘encounter’ with his boyfriend, the fact that Fandral never came up in conversation made Tony feel like he made Loki forget about him every day for a couple of hours.

 

When Loki arrived, Tony threw open the door dramatically and cried out, “Oh, thank gawd you’re here! I almost went crazy!”

 

Loki tried to look annoyed but ended up smiling and ruined it. He lightly punched Tony on his way in and proceeded straight for the living room. “I don’t want to do work today,” he called from the other room.

 

“We weren’t going to,” Tony laughed in response.

 

The raven-haired man threw himself on the couch and groaned. “I hate today,” he mumbled.

 

“Why do you hate today?” Tony asked as he moved to sit next to his partner.

 

“Fandral.”

 

_Ooh, dis gun be good_.

 

“Want me to kick his ass?” Tony offered, completely serious.

 

Loki turned and looked at him. “Yes.”

 

“What did he do?”

 

Loki growled and swatted at the couch as though it had done him wrong. “He’s just…he’s kind of a terrible boyfriend,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Tony.

 

The engineer had actually straightened up and was listening with rapt attention. Loki didn’t talk about Fandral with anyone. _THIS IS HUGE._ “Why?”

 

But that was where his luck ended because Loki just shook his head in response. “I don’t want to talk about him. I’ll get upset,” he said before fixing his gaze back on Tony. “I want to drink tonight.”

 

Well hold the fucking phone it’s topsy turvey day. “I’ll get you drunk, no problem,” Tony replied as he patted Loki’s leg. “Are you sure, though? Drinking when you’re already in a bad mood usually leads to bad decisions; like more drinking,” he cautioned.

 

As much as he would love to have a one on one evening with Loki and booze, he didn’t want the diva to get sick.

 

But Loki just nodded. “I could use a drink, I think. It’s been a long week,” he grumbled. “But food first, so we don’t get sick,” he added.

 

“Of course. What would you like? We can order whatever you want,” he said as he hopped off the couch to grab his cell phone.

 

“Why don’t we just order pizza,” Loki suggested as he rolled onto his side.

 

“I knew I liked you,” Tony replied as he started to dial.

 

oooooooo

 

Three hours and a pizza later and the boys were drinking. Loki still wouldn’t talk about Fandral, but they just did what they always did during meals and talked about _everything else._

 

Eventually the topic of their project came up and though the issue of _why_ they were working together was a well-exhausted one that their professors would not engage, Tony had new information on the matter.

 

“Remember how the board members told us we were working together because we are son’s of _‘influential men in the community’_?” Tony asked, putting air quotes around the last phrase.

 

Loki nodded at him. “But, I thought you… I mean your parents are…” he started and awkwardly trailed off, hoping his partner would finish the sentence for him.

 

“Yeah, my parents are dead.”

 

_Thank you, Tony._

“But, my dad _was_ pretty influential, and my legal guardian is a really powerful man, as well,” Tony explained as he reached over to grab another beer. “Even though he’s deceased, everyone knows that my father left me an ass load of money and that one day, probably sooner than I wish, I will inherit his company,” he continued.

 

Loki nodded his head to show he was listening and sipped his own beer.

 

“See, right now my guardian is running it by proxy. _Technically_ it’s mine, but there’s some bylaw that says I cannot legally be named CEO until I turn twenty one,” he explained before pausing to sip his drink. “Anyway, I spoke to Obadiah – that’s my guardian – earlier and he keeps asking me if I’ve met your father yet.”

 

Loki was taken aback by that. “Why would you have met my father?” he sputtered. “Is that some other rule we neglected to note in our research contracts?”

 

Tony laughed and took another sip of beer. “No, no – well, actually I don’t know because I _still_ haven’t read the damn thing – but probably not, ‘cuz that sounds pretty weird. No, I’m pretty sure he’s asking because he wants something from your father,” he explained.

 

“What would your guardian want from my father?”

 

The engineer shrugged. “I dunno, but your dad is a Congressman and since we deal with military equipment I know that we work with them a lot over legalities. He probably wants me to arrange some kind of meeting so he can schmooze; which is dumb, I know, it’s just a theory.”

 

Loki let that information sink in. “Well, he will be disappointed to know that my father has less than zero interest in my opinion when it comes to his job,” he responded quietly.

 

Tony raised an eyebrow and put down his beer to give Loki his full attention. “Why do you say that?” He had to play this carefully lest his partner realize he was engaging in a subject that was previously off limits.

 

The raven-haired man dropped his gaze to the hands in his lap as he absentmindedly toyed with his fingers. “My father…my father loves me, I think, but he has made it clear on several occasions that he thinks I don’t know anything; or at least anything of importance,” he mumbled.

 

_Proceed with caution_. “How has he done that?”

 

“He just doesn’t _care_ about me, you know? He doesn’t actively dislike me, he doesn’t necessarily _neglect_ me… but I’m pretty sure if I never spoke to him again he wouldn’t even notice.”

 

Ouch. That actually hurt Tony’s heart to hear. He was very familiar with the sentiment as his own father spent more time being concerned with his company than he did being a parent. It was a different kind of neglect, one where no abuse or mistreatment was involved – but all of the actual _parenting_ was lacking. All of the support and warmth that your father should provide you with was absent. He wanted to tell Loki that he understood how he felt, but there are few things in life more infuriating than sharing your most private feelings and hearing, “Oh, no I understand completely.” _BITCH, NO YOU DON’T!_ Instead, Tony just nodded and offered a sympathetic look, although Loki’s gaze was still fixed on his own hands. “Does Thor feel the same way?”

 

Loki barked out a laugh and raised his eyes to meet Tony’s. “Are you joking? Thor is my father’s greatest treasure. He _adores_ Thor – according to him my brother can do no wrong,” he spat.

 

Tony frowned at that but gestured with his hand for Loki to continue.

 

“Do you know why my brother and I are in the same graduating class, even though he’s two years older than me?” Loki asked with a sort of mischievous glint in his eyes.

 

The frown on Tony’s face grew. Truthfully he had not really considered that, and he didn’t realize that he and Thor were in the same class. He knew that the blond was older than Loki, but he didn’t know by how much. He shook his head to indicate his ignorance.

 

“When Thor was a senior in high school he started cutting class, which is not a great crime and there are far worse things he could have done with his repulsive friends, but it became a problem when he began skipping entire days. By the end of the term he had missed so much that he was informed he would have to repeat the year to make up for his absences and poor grades,” Loki ranted as he reached forward and took Tony’s beer out of his hands as he had finished his own.

 

His eyes were fixed on something in the room and Tony wondered if he even realized what he was doing as the raven-haired man took a drink from the bottle before continuing. “The worst part was that he had been lying to our parents about it all year saying that there was just a problem with the records at school and that everything was fine. But he failed all of his classes – except effing football – and eventually could not explain to them why he was receiving F’s if he was attending every class period.”

 

Loki paused to take another drink. “Again – it’s not a big deal, it happens all the time to students, Thor is not the first person to repeat a grade and he won’t be the last,” he paused to drink again, “But he wasn’t even _punished_! Nothing! The closest my parents came to reprimanding him was _encouraging_ him to take summer school courses to get a head start! Meanwhile, if I come home with anything less than an A my father has a well-rehearsed reaction where he gives me a look, sighs and shakes his head! It’s bullshit!”

 

Tony was surprised by the sudden profanity. “It sounds like bullshit. Is it just because he’s older, or what?”

 

Loki finished the beer and growled. “I’ve never really understood, but I assume that has a lot to do with it. The first-born _golden child_ who will always shine brighter than me no matter what either of us does…” he mumbled.

 

“But you two are so close –” Tony started.

 

“It’s not Thor’s fault that he’s my parent’s favorite. He has always treated me with nothing but love and respect. I mean… okay there were times in our childhood when he wouldn’t let me play with him and his friends, and there was a period where he wouldn’t let me eat lunch with him at school – but when it’s just the two of us he has always been wonderful,” Loki said in a hurried voice. “It’s just that his friends never liked me.”

 

Tony scowled at that. “So what? He should find new friends!”

 

Loki actually gave him a weak smile at that and reached over to grab another beer from the pack. “I appreciate your solidarity, but Thor really means well. He thought that by keeping me from his friends he was protecting me from their viciousness. He’s just a bit thick headed and genuinely _doesn’t realize_ that his methods are questionable,” he defended as he started his work on that second beer.

 

Tony made a bitch face and threw his hands up. “Whatever, I just think if his friends don’t like you it’s his job as a big brother to throw them into dumpsters,” he concluded as he opened another beer for himself.

 

The smile Tony was rewarded with was breath taking. Loki’s whole face lit up as he threw his head back and laughed outright at his partner’s opinions. “Thank you, Tony. I’ll be sure to tell him you said that.”

 

“You don’t have to, I’ll tell him myself,” Tony grumbled into his bottle.

 

Loki raised an eyebrow at that. “Would you really?”

 

Without missing a beat or pausing to consider the question, Tony responded, “Yes.”

 

“My brother doesn’t frighten you?”

 

Tony laughed at that. “No, I think I’ve got Thor’s number. He’s a big softy unless somebody’s messing with you. I think I could put him in his place,” he grinned, taking another few swigs.

 

Loki paused to consider that. “Why would you want to?” he asked before mimicking Tony’s gesture and draining a considerable bit of his drink.

 

“’Cuz it’s you,” Tony answered a little too quickly. If he actually thought _before_ he spoke he would have realized what a weirdo that made him sound like, but he didn’t think and the shock was all over Loki’s face.

 

“You’ve known me for a month,” he responded quietly.

 

_Damage control_. “Yeah, well… partners gotta stick together, right? I mean, you’re my friend!” he exclaimed, perhaps a little too loudly.

 

The corner of Loki’s lips twitched upwards as he considered the man before him. “I suppose I am,” he murmured before polishing off his beverage.

 

“So how should I prepare to kick Thor’s ass?” Tony teased as he handed his partner another beer.

 

The laugh he was rewarded with was full, rich and genuine. Tony decided right then that it was his favorite sound.

 

_So much for this being a harmless crush._

“That won’t be necessary. He no longer speaks to those people and I’m pretty sure his current friends are too scared of him to say anything bad about me,” Loki laughed.

 

“Alright, then. I’m still gonna tell him that if he hurts your feelings again that I’ll mess him up,” Tony mumbled.

 

“You do that. Now listen, I wasn’t done with my story.”

 

“Always talkin’, aren’t you, Snow White,” Tony joked.

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

“Come on, it’s cute!”

 

“I will shit on everything you love.”

 

“Disney princesses don’t shit.”

 

Loki growled at him but actually found the corners of his mouth tugging up. “Are you going to shut up and let me finish my story?” he asked, lightly kicking Tony’s side.

 

The engineer leaned away from the kick and smiled. “Of course, princess. Please do continue.”

 

Loki haughtily straightened himself up and kicked Tony again. “So Thor had to repeat his senior year, and at the same time he found out he would have to do so I was taking a placement test to see if I could graduate early. I already had all of the classes and credits I needed to be considered a senior and I just had to take a benchmark test to establish that I was ‘competent’. It was dumb, I know. Well I passed the test, of course, and that meant I would be a senior at the same time as Thor, which he was actually quite excited about. My mother thought it would be good for him, too; having me there to help him with classes and keep him accountable for his attendance.”

 

Tony let him rant and wondered if Loki knew how pretty his mouth was.

 

“But my _father_ told me I was being a show off and I should be more considerate of Thor’s feelings.”

 

That actually made Tony a bit outraged. “What?!”

 

Loki nodded. “He said that it was embarrassing enough that Thor had to repeat a grade and accused me of ‘rubbing salt in the wound’ by attempting to graduate early,” he explained before taking another long swig.

 

“I’m sorry, but your dad kind of sucks,” Tony commented.

 

The raven just blinked at his partner for a moment before smiling and raising his bottle. “Cheers,” he said.

 

Tony laughed and clinked his bottle against Loki’s. “So, when do I get to meet him?” he joked.

 

Loki laughed and kicked him again, this time in the chest. “Shut up,” he playfully commanded.

 

But this time Tony was prepared for a kick, so he grabbed Loki’s foot and held on to his ankle.

 

“I’ll make you a deal,” Tony began as he attempted to hold the appendage still. _Loki would make a very temperamental horse._

“Hmmm what kindduhdeal?” Loki slurred. Apparently all of that beer was hitting the lightweight pretty hard. That would explain the kicking – that or Loki actually _was_ a temperamental horse.

 

“I will rub your feet if you will introduce me to your parents the next time they visit,” he suggested, hoping that he didn’t sound like a creep. The absolute last thing Tony wanted to do was sound like Fandral.

 

Loki barked out a laugh. “Why do you want to meet my parents?”

 

Tony shrugged. “It would get Obadiah off of my back.” _Lies. Lies. Lies. I want to impress them so your mom asks me to be her son-in-law_.

 

Loki relaxed onto the couch and fixed Tony with a look. “Well it’s going to take a lot more than a foot rub for that,” he responded, although he had stopped trying to pull his leg out of Tony’s grasp.

 

“Alright – I’ll give you a real massage. You look stressed,” Tony tried again. It was true too, Loki _was_ stressed and Tony so happened to have magical hands.

 

Snow White seemed to consider that for a moment before nodding. “Alright – but I’m keeping my clothes on,” he consented.

 

“Whatever, princess,” he mumbled. “Here, let’s trade places. Sit on the floor right here and I’ll get behind you,” he ordered as he started to get up.

 

“How are you going to give me a _proper_ massage if I’m sitting on the floor?” Loki giggled. He was giggling now? Time to cut off the beer.

 

“Oh? You want a _proper_ massage?” Tony mocked.

 

“Well that _is_ what you promised,” Loki reasoned. His cheeks had taken on a pink flush from the alcohol, his eyes were slightly glazed, and he had this little mischievous smile on his face.

 

He looked fucking adorable.

 

Tony pretended to sigh dramatically. “I guess I don’t have a choice then. Come on, we’re going to my room.”

 

Loki’s smile faded and was quickly replaced with a panicked expression. “Why?” he asked in a small voice as he suddenly backed himself further into the couch.

 

Tony frowned and immediately put Loki’s foot down. “Because you can lay on my bed that way,” he answered calmly, but upon seeing Loki’s horrified expression he quickly continued. “Loki, I promise I’m not trying to pull anything. You have a boyfriend and I’m your friend. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t one hundred percent comfortable with,” he said with total sincerity.

 

Loki looked down at his hands and the flush in his cheeks turned a bit pinker, as though he was embarrassed. “No… I want a massage,” he mumbled quietly.

 

The engineer smiled at that. “Then a massage you shall have. I’ll even keep my clothes on, too,” he joked, hoping that he could pull Loki into a fun mood again.

 

It worked. Loki smirked at him and stood up slowly to avoid the spins. “Lead me to your chambers,” he commanded in a mock-serious voice.

 

Tony grabbed his hand and guided the pair toward his bedroom. Thankfully, since he didn’t spend very much time at home, it was fairly clean and the maids would have changed his sheets.

 

Loki’s hand felt to small and perfect in his. He had to resist the urge to interlock their fingers, but he did squeeze it a bit tighter as they walked.

 

Had Loki not been inebriated, he might have commented on Tony’s rather impressive bedroom when they entered it, but instead he made a beeline for the bed and immediately threw himself upon it. “Okay, massage me,” he mumbled into the mattress.

 

Tony laughed and climbed up to join him. He had not been lying before, he was not trying to start any funny business or take advantage of Loki, but the easiest way to massage him like this would be to straddle his ass. He carefully lifted one of his legs over Loki and before he sank down onto the smaller body he asked, “Is it okay if I sit like this?”

 

Loki nodded and mumbled, “Mhmm.”

 

What Tony had not counted on was the fact that his crotch was _straddling Loki’s ass_. Something he had been having dreams about for over a year. He swallowed thickly and tried to think unsexy thoughts lest he become hard and his intentions appear less than pure.

 

But just as Tony was calming himself and had thought up some excellent unsexy thoughts (like Thor ripping his dick off for touching his little brother), Loki shifted beneath him and pulled off his shirt. “That’s all I’m taking off,” he mumbled before relaxing himself on the bed again.

 

_Sweet. Mother. Of. God._

 

Loki’s skin was like porcelain. The curve of his spine was so delicate and seemed endless. His back was like this incredible canvas of smooth, unblemished white and Tony thought he might actually start drooling. He reached out and placed his index finger lightly on the back of Loki’s neck, right where his hairline met skin, and he ever so slowly trailed that finger down the spine all the way to the top of Loki’s jeans.

 

The boy below him shuddered a bit and gave a soft groan of appreciation.

 

His skin was an unholy kind of soft. It had to be illegal. No one should be allowed to be this handsome and _this fucking soft_. God Tony would have killed to reach out and lick the same trail he had just made with his finger. But, the problem of not wanting to be a rapey creep persisted, so instead he leaned forward and placed his hands on each of Loki’s shoulders.

 

_JesusfuckingHenrythefifthchrist that feels good_.

 

Slowly he started to rub the muscles hidden underneath then skin, arching his thumbs and the ball of his palm into the flesh. He was not _actually_ particularly skilled with massages, because he never gave them, but Loki immediately let out a moan that stopped Tony’s heart.

 

“Ohhh,” the boy beneath him groaned as he released a pleasured sigh.

 

There was actual sweat forming in Tony’s brow as he fought to keep his penis soft. “Does this feel good?” he asked before immediately mentally kicking himself. If he wanted to avoid a hard on he needed to refrain from questions like that.

 

“Ohhh yes, that feels sooo good,” Loki moaned again.

 

Because of answers like that.

 

Tony tried to keep his breathing calm as he let his hands explore the skin. He let one hand move to rub the back of Loki’s neck while the other trailed around in nonsensical patterns across the plane of his back. He kept his touch just as light and gentle as before, with the finger, so that it straddled the sensation of tickling and would likely stimulate Loki.

 

It did. It did A LOT.

 

Young Potter had turned to putty in Tony’s hands. He was actually whimpering and gasping at the touches. The engineer couldn’t decide if Loki was making these noises because he was drunk or if this was what he sounded like every time he was touched – either way it was making Tony crazy with lust.

 

_Why is he making sex noises, dear god why are you testing me like this._

 

But just as much as they drove him dangerously crazy, Tony was completely enthralled with this display of openness and vulnerability. Loki, who was normally so guarded, was completely relaxed and exposed beneath him. He arched into Tony’s touch and at one point actually pressed his hips up against his masseur’s.

 

That was Tony’s cue to climb off his ass as quickly as possible and move to the rest of his body. Although Loki had kept his pants on, Tony could still rub his legs and spent a great deal of time on his calves, since his partner had complained about getting cramps there while running. When he moved to Loki’s feet he employed the same method of lightly trailing his finger down the skin there as he marveled at how someone’s _feet_ could be so clean and soft. He was nearly kicked in the face though because it tickled.

 

He rubbed his arches, his ankles, moved back up over his calves and thighs, rubbed his non-existent love handles, purposefully avoid his butt to keep his promise, trailed up over his back, massaged the length of his arms (and DID intertwine their fingers when he got to Loki’s hands), then moved up his neck and finally tangled his fingers in those silky locks to he could lightly rub and scratch his partner’s scalp.

 

As his fingers moved he accidentally tangled them a bit and lightly pulled Loki’s hair.

 

No one had ever done that to Loki before.

 

Natasha had yanked his hair before, and he didn’t care for that, but no one had ever lightly tugged like that, and the accidental moan of pleasure he let out informed Tony immediately of how incredible it felt.

 

Had Loki been a bit more sober, he might have noticed that his pants had grown rather tight in his front from Tony’s touches; and had Tony been a sleazier guy he might have taken advantage of Loki’s obvious arousal, but instead he gently removed his hands from the tangles and lightly stroked his fingers through the hair. “Now can I meet your parents?”

 

Loki could only nod breathlessly.

 

“Do you want to stay here tonight? I can sleep in a guest bed,” Tony offered.

 

His partner shook his head slowly. “No, I’ll sleep in a guest room,” he replied as he started to get up.

 

But Tony dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Don’t be crazy, you’re already in here and comfortable. Go to sleep,” he ordered.

 

Loki gave him a shy smile and relaxed against the pillows before shutting his eyes again.

 

Tony draped a blanket over the younger man before quietly slipping off the bed and out of the room.

 

He grinned to himself as he made his way to a guest room. He would have loved to stay and just spoon Loki all night, but he had a feeling that bordered on taking advantage, and after such a wonderful evening he didn’t want to spoil everything. Loki had finally opened up to him a bit and there was no way he was going to jeopardize their friendship over spooning.

 

As he slipped into bed he grabbed a pillow to hug instead and loved that his hands smelled like Loki’s shampoo. He smiled that night as he dreamed of rescuing Loki the pretty princess from the ugly fire breathing Fandral and living happily ever after. Naked.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Mmmmmmyessssssss. Loki will have good, healthy sex eventually. I promise. <3 <3 <3 I love you all, thank you for reading!


	7. A Concert, Two Songs, and Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony attends a concert with Loki and Thor and then the partners have a sleepover to decide which Batman movie is better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You’re all amazing, thank you for the continued support. The amount of Fandral hate is both flattering and alarming because GODDAMN do y’all hate him.

oooooooo

 

The morning after the drunken massage escapade, Loki felt something had changed within him. He had rolled over in a warm, cushy bed that smelled so much like his partner’s cologne, and felt well and truly rested for the first time in almost a month. The knot that had taken up residence in his stomach was gone and the tension in his shoulders was absent. Loki even felt like he could _breathe_ easier.

 

If he were being honest with himself and was not so mentally preoccupied with his emotionally taxing relationship, he might have acknowledged that this was all because of _Tony_. His friend, who listened to him complain for hours, who had rubbed his muscles into putty and who offered to beat up Thor to defend his honor. Tony who had strong hands, toned arms and always smelled like an underwear model…

 

But Loki did not consider these things. He didn’t even recognize them consciously. He chalked up his peaceful, easy feeling to having slept in a well-dressed bed and getting a full night’s sleep unburdened by homework or a horny boyfriend. He was clueless to the fact that the loose feeling in his shoulders was the result of his partner taking so much care to work out _every single_ knot present. It also went unnoticed that Tony had closed the drapes so the sun wouldn’t disturb Loki and he could sleep in.

 

He had laid in bed just basking in the warmth and comfort of the expensive blankets surrounding him until the smell of bacon whispered sweet nothings into his nose and he was forced to meet its needs.

 

Sure, he had thanked his partner for making him breakfast and for letting him have the last of the eggs, but Loki didn’t think anything of it. It barely registered as noteworthy.

 

But something had changed in him.

 

Their outward relationship didn’t change, though. They continued to meet for three hours everyday, although they were getting more and more nervous about the lack of feedback on their project. By the second week in October they were supposed to be working with their actual population – and the professors not getting back to them was actually pulling them behind.

 

Tony didn’t seem concerned, mostly because he didn’t care and the more the Profs dragged this out the less _actual_ work there was for the boys to do which meant more time just hanging out.

 

Today, Monday, the pair was located in Tony’s engineering lab, because he wanted to play, and Loki was alternating between reading a book and going through his partner’s things.

 

Tony was covered in grease and sweat, wearing plastic safety goggles and one of his favorite black tank tops. It was maybe not his sexiest look. The partners were discussing the Nolan _Batman_ trilogy and which of the three was their favorite. Tony, correctly, chose _The Dark Knight_ , while Loki steadfastly favored _Batman Begins_ – although he conceded immediately to how amazing the joker was as a villain.

 

“I think you need to watch them again,” Tony laughed. He was tinkering with a circuit board and kept pressing live wires to different areas.

 

“Well maybe I will,” was Loki’s haughty reply as he closed the drawer he had been rifling through. “But I don’t own them,” he added.

 

“I’ve got them both, you wanna watch them on Friday?” Tony offered without looking up.

 

“Only if you pay for dinner again.”

 

The engineer laughed again, Loki made him do that a lot, and grinned at his partner. “Deal – but when you are proven wrong I expect to be rewarded somehow,” he joked.

 

“When _you_ are proven wrong I expect you to quit being an insufferable brat,” Loki replied swiftly as he went to poke through another drawer.

 

“Do you want to get dinner soon?” Tony asked as he ducked his head back down to keep playing.

 

“Oh! That reminds me,” Loki said suddenly, clearly not listening to him. “Would you have any interest in joining Thor, myself and someone else at a concert on Friday?”

 

Tony’s heart skipped a beat. “Yeah, sure,” he replied, trying to sound casual. “Who’s playing?”

 

“The Goo Goo Dolls.”

 

Tony made a face at that and Loki chuckled.

 

“I know that’s not exactly your _cup of tea_ , but my mother bought four tickets since Thor is bringing a date so she thought I might want to bring someone,” Loki explained in the same nonchalant tone as he opened another drawer.

 

“If it’s a double date, why aren’t you bringing your boyfriend?” Tony asked, still trying to sound casual. He also refused to say that man’s name in the sacred place that was his lab.

 

“Thor doesn’t like him and I would prefer not to ruin his big date,” Loki replied, and Tony could hear the stress in his voice.

 

“Why doesn’t Thor like him?” the engineer asked hopefully.

 

“I suspect he wouldn’t like anyone who was sleeping with his little brother.”

 

Annnd THAT hurt.

 

But Tony played it off and went back to messing with his circuit board. “I see. Well do you want to come over and watch the movies after the concert? I’ll still get dinner,” he offered.

 

“Sure,” came his noncommittal response. “But we will probably be going to a restaurant before hand.”

 

“I’ll still get your dinner,” Tony grumbled, trying to sound annoyed and failing.

 

“Such a gentleman,” Loki joked. “Why is there nothing interesting or scandalous in these drawers?!” he yelled as he stuffed the final one back in.

 

Tony looked up at his partner and laughed at how harassed he seemed. “What were you expecting to find?”

 

Loki scowled and stood up to retrieve his book. “I don’t know, something embarrassing like a box of condoms or a dildo.”

 

“You want a dildo?” Tony quipped with a raised eyebrow.

 

His partner turned a spectacular shade of pink and glared at him. “ _No_ , I was hoping to find something to blackmail you with,” he hissed, “In case I need it in the future.”

 

“Why would I have a dildo in my lab?”

 

“Leave me alone!” Loki yelled at him before wrenching open his book and deliberately placing it so he could no longer see Tony.

 

“You interrupted me before, do you want to go grab dinner? It’s almost eight,” Tony inquired as he started to wipe the grease off of his hands.

 

Loki made a face at him. “We can’t go out in public with you looking like that,” he commented.

 

“You’re so loving. We’ll go to my place then,” the engineer offered.

 

Snow White shrugged and leaned over to put his book away. “No more pizza, though,” he ordered. “I’m getting squishy,” he mumbled to himself as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

 

Tony made his ‘bitch please’ face. “Loki, I don’t think you’re capable of getting squishy,” he pointed out.

 

“You don’t know, you haven’t seen my butt,” Loki retorted as he started to head out of the lab.

 

_Does he realize the things he says to me?_

 

“Butts are supposed to be squishy!” Tony countered as he threw the rag down; nothing but a gallon of soap was going to get this grease off.

 

“Not mine.”

 

Oh, well that makes sense. “Whatever you say, princess,” Tony muttered as he followed his partner out.

 

oooooooo

 

It took Tony until that Friday to realize that the plans he had with Loki were essential a sleepover. After the concert, which would undoubtedly go late, they were going to watch two _long_ movies and then argue about which one was better. Loki had spent the night before, but this was the first time it was _planned_.

 

And that excited the crap out of Tony.

 

When he picked out his outfit for the evening he faced the dilemma of wanting to look nice, but not wanting to look like a shmuck. He didn’t go to Loki-levels of anxiety over choosing his outfit, but he did spent a fair amount of time choosing the right shirt.

 

When he wasn’t sporting a black tank top, Tony liked to wear his classic rock band t-shirts; but since they were going to a _concert_ that didn’t seem appropriate and bordered on douchetastic.

 

He settled on a thin, fitted, black shirt that made his arms look nice. Of course, his jacket covered them – but if he had the opportunity to take it off and flex… he was going to.

 

Currently, he was just outside of Loki’s dormitory and was about to call him to say, “I’m here biyatch,” when that gorgeous specimen he was so crazy about stepped outside.

 

Loki looked stunning.

 

He was wearing dark jeans that weren’t skinny style, but hugged his thighs _so tight_ , his worn Converse that Tony kept trying to draw a penis on the side of, a green V-neck made of what looked like extremely thin material, and a black leather jacket.

 

He looked so… _cool_. If Tony wasn’t crazy attracted to him before, this would have done the trick.

 

“Hey good-lookin’,” he greeted as he slipped his phone back in his pocket.

 

Loki scowled at him. “I look horrible!” he barked and crossed his arms over his chest as though it might hide him from Tony’s sight.

 

“What are you talking about? You look great!”

 

Loki glared at him. “Humidity makes my hair all… poofy,” he grumbled.

 

It was true, Loki’s hair was… ‘poofier’ than normal, but it was actually adorable and were he permitted, Tony would be playing with it.

 

“It’s cute. You’re like an angry poodle,” Tony joked, hoping to ease his partner’s sour mood.

 

He should have known that was not the way to do it.

 

“I look terrible and I don’t want to go out in public,” he hissed.

 

“You have the weirdest self-esteem issues,” Tony remarked. It only took him half a second to realize what he had just said, and from the stunned and hurt look on Loki’s face he understood that it was a mistake. “Loki, I didn’t mean –”

 

But he was interrupted. Thor chose that moment to pull up into the turnaround driveway outside their dorm, with what looked like his lady friend in the passenger seat. Tony would have to find a way to apologize for that comment about Loki’s self-esteem another time.

 

“How come Thor has a new car and you don’t?” Tony whispered to his partner as they approached the vehicle.

 

Loki just gave him a look.

 

Ah, right, Tony remembered: because their father liked Thor the best. Maybe that was why Loki thought so little of himself; because his father had always held him to horribly high standards for the crime of _not_ being his brother.

 

“Thor! Your car is filthy!” Loki cried with a scandalized look on his face as he opened the backseat door.

 

He was absolutely right. Thor had clothes, textbooks, papers and a giant cardboard box sitting in the backseat where his brother and Tony were supposed to ride.

 

“Can we put this in the trunk?” the exasperated teen requested. “We won’t be able to sit back here.”

 

Thor looked sheepish and nervously scratched the back of his head. “Sorry, Loki, but there’s a ton of stuff in my trunk already. Just squeeze in there!” he said over his shoulder.

 

Loki made a bitch face at his brother and frowned at the state of affairs he was expected to rest his behind in.

 

“You go in first, Snow White. Your butt is smaller than mine,” Tony jokingly commanded his partner. He laughed when Loki whipped his head around to glare at Tony and swatted at his face, but the diva climbed in anyway.

 

His long legs wouldn’t fit on the floor in front of him with all of Thor’s crap in the way, so he had to stretch them out over the mess in front of the seat next to him; which also meant that he wasn’t fully facing forward and had to lean a bit on the person sitting next to him…

 

Who was grinning like a fool.

 

In order to give Loki more space, Tony kept his right arm up and resting on the back of the seat; and if that just so happened to sort of be draped over Loki’s shoulders then there was really nothing Tony could do about it, was there?

 

The woman in the passenger seat turned around and smiled at the pair. “Hi, I’m Jane,” she said to Tony. She had a pleasant, pretty face, and Tony could understand why Thor looked so excited to be sitting next to her. “You’re Loki’s boyfriend, right?”

 

Well now Tony liked her too.

 

He tried to laugh it off and play it cool as Loki looked positively scandalized beside him. “No, no, I’m his research partner, Tony,” he clarified.

 

She gave him a sheepish look and apologized before turning around, but she did pause to glance at the way Tony’s arm was draped over Loki, first.

 

“Loki, we were thinking of going to _Jorje’s_ – does that sound alright?” Thor asked.

 

The younger of the brothers nodded. “It’s a Mexican restaurant,” he said quietly to Tony.

 

“Sounds good!” he replied with a smile. He would probably be smiling for the next hour over Jane thinking he was Loki’s boyfriend.

 

The restaurant was one that Tony had not been to before; the Odinson brothers were excellent about introducing new places to him, but it looked cool and funky.

 

The inside confirmed that.

 

There was loud cantina music playing throughout the dimly lite neon-sign filled space. The tables were covered in chili pepper fabric and then covered in plastic, placed in-between painted wooden benches in bright blues, pinks and yellows. There were stuffed parrots on the walls and a giant sombrero hanging next to their booth. It was all so cheesy – Tony loved it.

 

He slid in beside Loki and intentionally scooted close enough so their thighs would touch again, even though the booth was large enough that it wasn’t necessary.

 

“Should I get a margarita?” Thor jokingly asked Jane with a grin on his face.

 

“Oh yeah, I forget that you’re twenty-one,” Tony remarked.

 

“I’ll be twenty two in December,” he replied.

 

A thought struck Tony, then. “Loki, when is your birthday?”

 

“May 11th,” he replied without looking up from the menu.

 

_Filing that away for later use_.

 

“Do you want to share something again?” Tony asked as he turned his own menu over in his hands. He didn’t eat a lot of Mexican food, this all looked pretty heavy and he wasn’t terribly hungry.

 

“Sure…” Loki began, “I’m in the mood for enchiladas.”

 

“Sounds good, order what you want and I’ll pick at it as you try to eat,” Tony joked as he nudged Loki’s knee playfully with his.

 

“I don’t want to share anymore.”

 

Thor laughed at that. “Come now, brother, you do the same thing to me,” he said with a smile.

 

Loki’s eyes looked up at Thor while his head stayed still. “I do that because it’s annoying and I think I’m funny.”

 

Thor laughed again. “You are funny, Loki.”

 

“Damn straight,” the younger brother mumbled as his eyes returned to the menu.

 

He did eventually consent to sharing food with Tony, and when the waiter brought one plate instead of two (like last time) they took turns stabbing at each other’s forks as they playfully (or at least playful in Tony’s case, Loki looked pretty serious about it) fought over the food, and Loki kept accidentally drinking from his water.

 

As promised, Tony paid for his partner’s meal and when Loki thanked him he teased, “As long as you name your first born son after me, we are square.”

 

Loki scoffed and tried to fight a tiny smile, unsuccessfully.

 

oooooooo

 

“This concert is outside, you say?” Tony asked as he glanced out car the window again, sizing up the color of the clouds. They were on their way to the venue and in the five minutes since they had left the restaurant the entire sky seemed to have turned two shades darker.

 

“Yes,” Thor answered, “But it’s not supposed to start raining until late this evening.”

 

Tony raised an eyebrow at him and looked outside. “I dunno, buddy. Those storm clouds seem pretty ready,” he reasoned.

 

Not that it would bother him, if it did start raining, because there are worse things in life – but Loki was wearing a nice jacket.

 

After Thor parked and everyone stepped outside the smell of rain was so strong it made the air wet.

 

Thor looked guiltily at his brother, who was sizing up the clouds, as though it were his fault that it might rain when Loki was not properly dressed for it.

 

“Loki, you should leave your jacket in the car,” Thor ordered as he looked up at the rumbling sky. “Would that I could control the thunder…” he muttered to himself.

 

The diva frowned at that. “But it might get chilly!” he protested.

 

“Well would you rather risk being chilly or ruin your jacket?” Thor reasoned with his flustered little brother.

 

It was an awfully nice jacket. Loki scowled as he took it off and tossed it in the back seat. His thin green V-neck would not provide a lot of protection if it did get chilly, and his jeans would be very uncomfortable if they got wet.

 

As they headed into the concert venue the sky above them shook and rumbled again. Thankfully there had been no lightning, or Tony was almost certain they would be forced to leave. He didn’t particularly care about the band, but if it started raining it would give him an excuse to give Loki his jacket and he wanted to do that. He was wearing good cologne and if Loki wore his coat it would make him smell like it for the rest of the evening.

 

The place was unusual. It was on a large hill sloping down toward the stage, and a large roof hung over it and the area about one hundred feet in front of it. The covered section was already crowded with early arrivals who would stay dry if it did start raining. Thor guided the group to the edge of the standing bodies on a particularly steep slope of the hill, and immediately fellow patrons flanked them on both sides.

 

“Here,” Thor mumbled as he guided Jane’s shoulders to she could stand in front of him and have space from the pushing elbows.

 

Tony took a leaf out of his book and encouraged Loki to do the same. “This way you’ll see it better,” he reasoned at the bewildered look he got.

 

His partner did as he was told though and stood in front of Tony. The angle of the hill meant that even though Loki was slightly taller, Tony could still see above his head. He ached to reached his arms around the slim waist in front of him and pull Loki back into his chest and nuzzle that neck… It wasn’t fair that Thor got to do it to Jane right next to him. She giggled a bit and relaxed into his broad chest, draping her arms over the ones wrapped around her.

 

They looked so happy.

 

“Just in case you get cold,” Thor murmured into her ear as she hummed in response.

 

It wasn’t fair.

 

The group only had to wait a few more minutes before the band came out and the crowd started screaming.

 

Loki turned around to glare at Tony. He leaned forward to speak into his ear, because that was the only way he would be heard, and growled, “I hate people.”

 

Tony laughed at that and patted Loki’s shoulder and though he longed to let his hand rest there for the remainder of the show, he reluctantly placed it down by his side again.

 

The band greeted everyone and began playing a song Tony had never heard. It was acoustic, pretty, energetic, and everyone around him was dancing, swaying their hips and singing along – even Jane and Thor seemed to know all of the words and were rocking together in time with the beat.

 

The object of his affections was sort of lightly swaying and Tony wished he could see whether or not Loki’s lips were moving, but he didn’t want to disturb the boy.

 

That song went right into another, and another, and another. A half hour in and Tony still didn’t recognize _anything_ – but Loki’s butt had started dancing more. He found he actually quite liked what he heard. It was not his usual _cup of tea_ , as Loki had put it, but he was humming along once he heard a chorus and moving a bit in time with the beats.

 

The one playing now he liked a lot, actually.

 

_You wait, wanting this world to let you in_

_And you stand there, a frozen light in dark and empty streets_

And then it started raining.

 

Immediately Jane gasped in delight and Loki scowled and shot a glare at the sky; though Tony happened to know, from previous discussions, that his partner actually quite enjoyed rain – it was not ideal timing. The crowd erupted in excited screams as the drops cascaded down on them, enjoying the ambiance that went with such a pretty song.

 

But Tony was prepared for this moment. As Thor released his arms from Jane and started to shrug off his own jacket saying, “Here, Loki –” Tony swatted at him to be quiet and thanked the noise that Loki hadn’t heard his brother’s attempt at an offer. He ignored the look of surprise Thor gave him and learned forward so his lips were barely touching the shell of Loki’s ear and asked, “Do you want my jacket?”

 

Loki turned to look at him and shook his head. “Then you’ll be cold.”

 

Tony was also prepared for that response. He placed his hands on his partner’s wet, shivering arms and started rubbing them quickly up and down – the sort of thing people did to help warm each other up – when he felt Loki lean against him.

 

Their shirts were damp, which meant that Loki was unlikely to get a lot of body heat from the contact; so Tony tried something risky: he pulled the sides of his jacket as far as they would go, while still on his body, around Loki’s waist and then wrapped his arms around tightly to keep it in place. The jacket wasn’t doing much as it barely covered anything on his partner, but it was a great excuse to try and hold him. He rested his chin on Loki’s shoulder and asked, “Are you warmer?”

 

To his surprise – Loki nodded and placed his arms over Tony’s, much like Jane was doing with Thor.

 

Speaking of Thor, Tony moved his head so he could chance a look at Loki’s brother – to make sure he wasn’t glaring at him or anything. He was surprised again to find the blond grinning at him. When they made eye contact, Thor actually wiggled his eyebrows and _winked_ at Tony before going back to nuzzling Jane’s neck.

 

Lucky bastard. Loki’s neck was even closer to his mouth in this position, and it would be _so easy_ to just press his lips to the flesh there.

 

But he wasn’t going to. Partly because Thor had sort of just given him his blessing – that would require digesting later – but mostly because he was a good guy and Loki had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who wasn’t invited to this concert. A boyfriend who didn’t get to hold him like this in the rain. For Tony, that was enough for tonight.

 

He placed his chin on Loki’s shoulder again and tightened his grip as the band played on.

 

_You’re the only one I ever believed in_

_The answer that could never be found_

_The moment you decided to let love in_

_Now I’m banging on the door of an angel_

_The end of fear is where we begin_

_The moment we decided to let love in_

Tony decided right then and there that this was one of their songs. Whenever, if ever, the occasion arose where he should need a song with Loki… he was going to think back to this moment and play this.

 

The concert went on for another hour like that with the crowd singing and swaying, absolutely ecstatic about the rain. Tony never loosened his grip and Loki never pulled away as they lightly swayed together.

 

By the end of it, though, their clothes and hair were completely soaked and clinging to their skin.

 

The band said goodnight and it was finally time to let go of Loki’s waist. His heart clenched a bit at having to do so, but when Loki turned around and looked at him it completely took his breath away.

 

His thin shirt was so drenched that Tony could see his chest as though he were wearing nothing. His eyes traced the lines of his lightly toned stomach and the dip of his belly button. Tony had to fight not to stare at the nipples so clearly visible and _begging_ to be gawked at. And his _hair_ – Tony imagined this is what it must look like right when Loki got out of the shower, before it was styled: wavy, curling a bit at the bottom and sticking to his face.

 

And that fucking smile.

 

One day Loki was going to flash that thing and Tony was just going to keel over and stop breathing. God how he wanted to grab Loki’s face and just kiss the breath out of him until they were both panting messes.

 

This was more than a crush.

 

Tony was reticent about thinking of it as more than that, because there was _nothing_ he could do about it, but standing here in the rain with him after the massage and holding Loki like that and gazing at his smile…

 

Okay he had a _big_ crush on Loki.

 

That was as much as he would admit to himself.

 

The couple beside him had also untangled and Thor was fishing around in his pocket for the car keys. “That was excellent!” he beamed.

 

“It really was,” Jane agreed, batting her eyelashes at her date. She seemed cool, and so far this evening, Tony had liked her. He got the impression, though, that Loki did _not_ based on the elevator eyes and raised eyebrow he gave her.

 

“Shall we head back?” Thor asked, still smiling as he reached down to take Jane’s hand in his.

 

“Yes,” she answered immediately.

 

Oh, so Thor was getting laid tonight. That’s nice.

 

Tony glanced at his partner who was still giving Jane a look for cuddling up to his brother like that. “Are you still coming over?” he asked, distracting Loki from his judgment.

 

Potter nodded at him. “I just need a change of clothes…” he began.

 

“If you want you can just borrow pajamas. I assure you, anything you don’t have, I’ve got covered,” Tony interjected.

 

Loki seemed to consider that and then shrugged. “I won’t turn down your rich boy pajamas,” he said.

 

Tony laughed at that as he followed Thor and Jane out of the amphitheater and headed back towards the car.

 

Jane played DJ on the ride home, using her iPod. Her taste in music was a little bit _indie_ for Tony’s tastes, but he wasn’t going to complain. He had just had an awesome night, was about to watch some good movies with Loki, and that same boy was even more slumped against his shoulder this time.

 

Loki had draped his own jacket over himself like a blanket, but was still resting against Tony’s side, partly for warmth. Unlike the ride over, this time he had dropped his head onto Tony’s shoulder and might have been dozing, and the engineer had his arm draped over Loki’s side instead of resting on the top of the seat; so no, Tony was not going to complain.

 

The song Jane was playing now, Tony actually kind of liked. It fit the mood nicely with the darkness outside the windows and the headlights on the highway lighting up the rain streaking down the windows. Just as Tony was about to ask her what it was called, he heard:

 

_I need you so much closer_

 

At the same moment Loki chose to shift further against him, and Tony felt his breath catch.

 

He shouldn’t be building a playlist for a relationship he was not in with Loki, but this was the second song to make it on.

 

The words struck something powerful in his heart and he found his arm curling instinctively tighter around the body relaxing against him. Tony shifted his head a bit to rub his cheek against the hair next to his face and breathed deep.

 

If anyone could look inside his head right now, especially Loki, they probably would not understand _how_ Tony could like someone so much when he had known them for a such a short period of time. They would have no idea that Tony has actually been thinking about this boy for over a year now, or that Tony Stark doesn’t _do_ feelings, which made this ten times more powerful and a million times more frightening.

 

If they could see in his head they wouldn’t understand it, but if they could look in his heart they would look back at his head and say, “It’s actually not a _crush_ , it’s this other word you don’t want to use.”

 

“Where should I drop you both off?” Thor asked quietly, looking at Tony in the rearview mirror.

 

His volume was strange so Tony glanced at his partner’s face and saw that Loki’s eyes were in fact closed.

 

“Outside my dorm is fine,” he responded. Tony would just drive them both over to his house and let Loki use his toiletries and wear his pajamas. He had extra toothbrushes and _plenty_ of spare tank tops – and he wanted to see Loki wear one.

 

When Thor pulled in to the parking lot, Tony gently rubbed Loki’s arm to rouse him. “Hey, do you still want to come over?” he asked for the second time that night, just in case his partner falling asleep changed anything.

 

The diva nodded sleepily and mumbled a ‘thank you’ to Thor for driving and a bitter ‘goodnight’ to Jane as he climbed out of the car.

 

Tony intended to be silent on the drive over, in case Loki wanted to continue sleeping, but the raven-haired man immediately flicked on the radio before curling onto his side and closing his eyes again.

 

What a goofball.

 

When they arrived, Tony made for the kitchen so he could grab them a snack and called over his shoulder, “Are you thirsty?”

 

Loki had paused in the doorway and was peeling his shirt from his skin with a disdainful expression. “Would it be alright if I showered before the movie?”

 

Tony nearly dropped the bottle he was holding. “Of course, just go ahead and use my bathroom and I’ll lay out some clothes for you to wear on my bed,” he replied, abandoning the bottles and heading towards his bedroom instead.

 

“Thank you,” Loki answered through a yawn. “Is it all right if I use your shampoo?” he asked, politely.

 

“Feel free to use anything in the bathroom, and there’s extra toothbrushes in the bottom drawer.”

 

Loki nodded his appreciation and disappeared into the bathroom before turning on the light and shutting the door. Tony went into his closet and fished out a clean tank top and a pair of long, loose, black sweatpants. When he stepped out he could hear the water running and it sent butterflies into his stomach at the thought of a naked Loki less than twenty feet away from him.

 

But he was still trying to avoid being a creep, so he placed the clothes on the bed and, after quickly changing into a similar outfit, exited the room, closing the door behind him to give Loki privacy.

 

He returned to the kitchen and extracted a six-pack of beers. While he was partial to a good scotch, Loki didn’t seem keen on hard liquor and he didn’t want to press the matter. Beer was a good companion for watching a movie and it would go well with popcorn and leftover pizza.

 

Tony wasn’t sure how long Loki would take, although he suspected quite a while given the amount of time that boy spent getting ready, so he waited to heat up the food and instead went to retrieve blankets and pillows. He wasn’t sure that they were going to fall asleep on the couch, it just seemed very likely and he wanted to be prepared - especially since the living room tended to get cold.

 

In a few years that would not be a problem, if Tony had anything to say about it. He was currently working, in his spare time, on something akin to an artificial intelligence and his long-term goal was to get something functioning well, programmed into his home so he could converse with it and control all of the functions of the household. Right now he had a computer program he was making some headway with via text commands, but he was far from voice recognition and getting it properly hooked up to the internet.

 

Tony had actually planned on sharing this with Loki, because he thought his partner would appreciate all the hard work he was putting into it, but until it was absolutely _perfect_ he didn’t want to risk looking like a failure and embarrassing himself. It was irrational, yes, but Loki made him irrational.

 

After he deposited the blankets on the couch and placed pillows on either side he went to put on the first film. Tony was infinitely grateful that his mother had deemed an extra long couch necessary for their home, because while it looked ridiculously _vast_ , it was perfect for sleeping on. It was also deep enough that a person could turn and lay on their back instead of being forced onto their side all evening.

 

He waited until he heard the shower turn off before heating up the food and setting the beers on the coffee table in front of the couch.

 

When Loki walked out Tony’s heart melted. He looked _adorable_ with his wet wavy hair and the sweatpants that were too big, held up only by the drawstring and even still they were threatening to fall off of his slim hips. The tank top was Tony’s favorite, though. He had never fully appreciated how nice and _long_ Loki’s arms were before this moment – and it excited him to see Loki wearing his clothes.

 

The princess padded over to the sofa and threw himself onto it. “I used a lot of your toiletries,” he said before leaning forward to grab a handful of popcorn.

 

Tony laughed. “Joke’s on you, that just means you’ll smell like me,” he said fondly before stretching himself out along the couch and throwing one of the blankets over himself. The way he intended it, he and Loki would sleep head to toe and could each have their own blanket, because it seemed more respectful that way.

 

Loki did the same thing and relaxed onto his pillow, stretching his long legs out alongside Tony’s. He had been granted the softer blanket, although he probably didn’t notice, and immediately tucked himself in and turned onto his side.

 

“Are you going to be able to stay awake through both movies?” Tony asked as he pointed the remote at the television.

 

Loki scoffed at him. “Please, Stark.”

 

He was asleep within five minutes.

 

Tony barely outlasted him though, because as soon as Loki’s body had completely relaxed he was nestled against Tony’s legs and it was just so _comfortable_.

 

At some point during the night, Tony’s blanket was knocked off and they both wound up under Loki’s with their legs tangled together. Later, when the cold woke Tony up, he sleepily pulled his blanket back up and draped it over both of them, making sure that it stretched down all the way to Loki and then returned to sleep.

 

In later years, Tony would look back on this night as one of their first dates.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: :3 I don’t sleep anymore, all I do it write. That’s why there’s tone shifts sometimes throughout chapters: one half is me awake and cognizant and the other is when I’ve been up for 48 hours and can’t read. 
> 
> Also the songs are: ‘Let Love In’ by The Goo Goo Dolls and ‘Transatlanticism’ by Death Cab For Cutie. 
> 
> QUESTION: I’m thinking about changing the summary to better reflect what’s happening in the story – do you lovely readers think this is wise? Halp plz and thank you all for reading!


	8. The Apology Sandwich, The Epiphany and A Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony accidentally yells, there is cuddling, and then a horrible night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The up-date fairy has been kind to me :3 Thank you all for the love and feedback – it makes the chapters come faster <3

oooooooo

 

“Are you going to the Sigma Halloween party on Saturday?” Tony called over the top of his workbench to his partner.

 

“Mhmm,” came a lazy reply. “Natasha and I are doing couples costumes,” he mumbled back. Since he had not been able to find anything interesting in Tony’s workstation he had taken to snooping through other student’s work areas; but he still held Tony responsible for anything he found.

 

Tony’s mind exploded with all different sorts of possibilities. Loki and Natasha were nerds, which meant they would likely be Cosplaying instead of finding generic outfits at a Halloween store – which was awesome. “Oh cool! What’s it gonna be: John and Sherlock? Sam and Dean? Rose and Nine?” he asked enthusiastically.

 

Loki pulled a journal out of the drawer he was digging in and began leafing through it. “We actually considered all of those, and good for you for knowing those characters, but we are actually doing Ariel and Eric,” he responded.

 

Now that was too cute. “Oh – because you have black hair and she has red hair? That will be cute! Which Ariel outfit is she going to wear?”

 

His partner’s cheeks actually flushed a bit as he cleared his throat a few times and mumbled, “I’m Ariel…”

 

Say what now.

 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Tony asked quickly – hoping that what he thought he heard was true.

 

Loki pretended to be very interested in the journal still and wouldn’t make eye contact. “ _I’m Ariel_ ,” he said a bit louder as his cheeks turned pinker.

 

Tony didn’t say anything until Loki was forced to look up from his hands and notice his shit-eating grin. “And which outfit will you be wearing, princess?”

 

If he was blushing before then now Tony could actually fry an egg on his face. “Hsphwrckrgs…” he grumbled to himself before snapping his head back down.

 

“I’m sorry, dearest, one more time?” he requested in a singsong mocking tone.

 

Loki released an exasperated sigh and slammed the book closed. “Her shipwreck rags,” he hissed before throwing the journal back into the drawer.

 

Tony didn’t laugh; because it wasn’t so much that this was funny as _awesome_. He would not delight in seeing Loki humiliated or uncomfortable… but he would definitely enjoy seeing nothing but a white sheet draped loosely around his thin frame. “What, pray tell, led to this arrangement?”

 

The raven sighed and closed another drawer. “It’s a deal with Natasha. She said that I can be Prince Eric again if I stop missing our _Supernatural_ dates,” he grumbled.

 

The engineer waited for him to continue and, when he didn’t, asked, “So why don’t you just stop missing your dates? Simple solution. Not that I want to discourage this costume choice, though. I’m _loving_ that.”

 

Loki gave him a look and fidgeted a bit. “Fandral always wants to hang out during that time…”

 

Ah, of course Tony’s _least_ favorite thing in the world is the problem. “So? Just tell him you want to hang out another time,” _Or never again_.

 

“He won’t let me-” Loki began.

 

“Whoa – he won’t _let_ you? Loki, this guy isn’t your boss-” Tony started heatedly.

 

“I didn’t say he was! It’s just that-”

 

“He shouldn’t be telling you what to do that’s-”

 

“ _I didn’t say he was telling me what to do!_ He just has a very busy schedule and-”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry in between jerking off and getting high he can’t make room for his boyfriend-”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

 

That stopped everything.

 

Loki had never spoken to him like that before. His voice was low, angry and the look he was giving Tony was _frightening_.

 

“You don’t know _anything_ about our relationship-”

 

“I know that you called him a terrible boyfriend!” Tony countered.

 

“That was like a month ago! You don’t know anything-”

 

“Only because you won’t talk about him!”

 

“It’s none of your business!”

 

“The fuck it is! You’re my friend and I care about you!” Tony screamed back. He had gotten so worked up his hands were curled into fists and they were shaking at his sides. He hadn’t realized that he was panting slightly and his entire body seemed to have tightened into a knot.

 

Loki, who had looked much the same as Tony a few seconds ago, unraveled a bit at the words. “What?” he choked out.

 

Tony took a deep breath to calm himself and then looked his partner dead in the eyes. “Your relationship isn’t my business, you’re right. But _you_ are…and I just don’t like the way this guy is treating you.”

 

When he saw that Loki’s bottom lip was trembling he wanted to stab himself in the heart for yelling.

 

“Loki, Loki I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled-” Tony started as he walked around the workbench to stand in front of Loki.

 

But his princess just shook his head and took in a sharp breath. “No, you’re right,” he said as he looked up at Tony’s face. There were tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes and rolling down his porcelain cheeks and his lip was still trembling a bit as he fought to control his breath.

 

Tony’s heart fucking broke. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” he said quietly.

 

Loki hastily wiped away a tear and turned away suddenly. “I should go,” he choked out as he moved around Tony to grab his bag, and the engineer could see that his tears had increased their intensity and he looked like he was going to start sobbing.

 

“Loki, wait!” he tried to call after him – but Snow White was already running out the door.

 

Just fucking great.

 

Tony _hated_ himself. Why did he stick his nose in like that? Well, okay no, he was perfectly justified in calling Loki on the bullshit of his boyfriend’s behavior. What kind of _bullshit_ was that?! Fandral wouldn’t _let_ him hang out with Natasha – fucking bullshit!

 

But he shouldn’t have yelled.

 

The engineer stood there for another minute trying to collect his thoughts and maybe shake off some of this self-loathing. Ultimately, though, he knew that until he apologized to Loki and was certain that his favorite boy wasn’t sobbing somewhere because of him, he wouldn’t stop hating himself.

 

He hastily piled his things together and left the lab with a mission.

 

oooooooo

 

An hour later, after he had cleaned himself up, showered, purchased Loki’s favorite sandwich from the place they had gone to, and texted Thor to let him into their dormitory, he was standing outside Loki’s door.

 

This was the first time he had ever been to Loki’s dorm room, and he wasn’t sure if it would enrage his partner further that he was showing up unattended – but that was what the sandwich was for.

 

As he knocked lightly on the door, he realized that he didn’t even know if Loki was actually in his room – or god what if he was asleep? Just as he began to panic and considered running away, the door opened.

 

Loki’s hair looked like he had showered, and he was dressed in a fitted sleep shirt and oversized sweatpants that bagged around his bare feet. It was a cute outfit, and Tony would have smiled at it were it not for Loki’s expression.

 

The boy had clearly been crying, from his red eyes and tear-stained cheeks, and based on the way he was trying to control his sniffles it looked like Tony had come over when he wasn’t quite finished.

 

Food. Go with the food.

 

Tony held out the sandwich in front of him as a peace offering and said with every ounce of sincerity in him, “I’m sorry.”

 

Loki looked at the sandwich in his hands and sniffled a bit. “You got me my sandwich?” he asked quietly.

 

“I’m really, really sorry for making you cry and for yelling and for butting my nose in and for hitting on you the first time we met and for being a creep the first time we had dinner and I’m just sorry,” Tony said in one breath. He meant it; he just needed to get it out quickly before he was interrupted. It was important that Loki know he was apologetic for more than just tonight.

 

But his partner just fixed him with a puzzled expression. “I’ve sort of forgiven you for how obnoxious you were when we first met,” he replied with a weak smile.

 

Tony gave him one back, though he sill felt guilt more than anything else. “I’m still sorry for tonight.”

 

Loki stepped aside so his friend could enter the room. “It’s alright. I need someone to call me on my bullshit…and I really haven’t been letting Natasha do that lately,” he mumbled as he closed the door behind Tony.

 

“But I shouldn’t have yelled, that wasn’t necessary,” Tony reasoned as he held out the sandwich again.

 

Potter took it from him and paused before answering. “I think sometimes I don’t listen unless I’m being yelled at.”

 

Tony shook his head. “No, screaming at someone is the quickest way to turn their ears _off_.”

 

Loki looked up and him with a contemplative expression. “Hmm…” was all he said.

 

“Look…” Tony started awkwardly, “About your boyfriend-”

 

But Loki held up a hand to silence him. “I don’t want to talk about him,” he decreed quietly. The unspoken words were that he didn’t want to keep crying, and it was evident that he _would_ if they indulged the topic.

 

Tony had already fucked up once this evening so he just nodded and let the matter drop. While his partner went to put the sandwich in a mini fridge, Tony examined the room.

 

As expected, Loki’s side was neat and tidy. His bookshelf was stuffed with novels, and what couldn’t fit on the shelf was stacked on his desk; his clothes were all neatly hung up or put away; Thor’s jacket was hanging off the back of his desk chair and the only thing that looked out of place at all was his unmade bed – which he climbed right back into after putting the sandwich away.

 

“Are you going to sleep?” Tony asked. He didn’t want to overstay his welcome anymore than he already had by showing up uninvited.

 

But Loki shook his head. “No, I was going to watch a movie to distract-” he cut himself off midsentence by pursing his lips together and looking down at his hands.

 

“Do you want me to go?”

 

Potter shook his head again and looked up at Tony through his long, dark eyelashes. “You can stay if you want,” he mumbled.

 

Tony brightened at that. “What are we watchin’?” he asked as he placed himself at the foot of Loki’s bed, where he would be perceived as respectful and _not creepy_.

 

_Holy crap this mattress is comfortable_.

 

Loki leaned over and pulled his laptop out from under his bed where it had been resting on a small set of plastic drawers. “ _30 Rock_. I’m in the mood for something funny,” he answered as he opened it up and began typing in his password.

 

A laptop changed things a bit. The only way Tony would be able to see it would be to lie beside Loki in bed, and he _really_ wanted to avoid making things worse with his partner this evening. He stood up and grabbed the desk chair before Loki said,

 

“You can sit next to me.”

 

Tony turned to see the boy scooting further against the wall to make space next to him.

 

In the interest of staying courteous, though, Tony laid on top of the covers as he made himself comfortable next to Loki.

 

He could smell the boy’s conditioner and almost let out an “mmm” on a pleasured exhale. Thankfully Loki didn’t notice Tony’s sudden panicked intake of breath as he started up the DVD.

 

It was probably unintentional that Loki’s head dropped onto Tony’s shoulder after ten minutes; and after twenty he was completely curled up against the engineer’s side in his sleep.

 

Thank god he _was_ asleep or he would have heard the way Tony’s heart was hammering.

 

He would have loved to stay here all night, with Loki snuggled up against him (and he was actually enjoying he show quite a bit), but the same phrase kept repeating itself in his head: _be a good guy_. So he waited until he was sure that Loki was deeply asleep, evidenced by his drool, and ever so slowly slipped out from underneath him as he maneuvered Loki’s head onto the pillow. His partner probably didn’t intend for Tony to sleep over and the engineer wanted to grant him his privacy.

 

Reason #211 that Tony wins all of the points.

 

He put the laptop away and rearranged the blankets so Loki was completely covered and tucked in before brushing a few strands of hair out of that pale face. “Goodnight, Loki,” he whispered before turning off the bedside lamp and silently slipping out of the room.

 

When Loki woke up the next morning, he was sad to find that Tony was gone.

 

oooooooo

 

_The first time Tony met Loki and became attracted to him was at the Sigma ‘Welcome Back Party’ their freshman year. He spotted Loki across the room, laughing with his best friend, and the rest was history._

_The first time Loki realized he was attracted to Tony was at the Sigma Halloween party their sophomore year. He spotted Tony across the room, talking to Pepper, and the rest was history._

 

oooooooo

 

“I like this costume better, anyway,” Natasha mumbled as she examined herself in Loki’s mirror and adjusted her dress.

 

They had abandoned the idea of Erik and Ariel, because Loki looked _super slutty_ with only the sheet – and were instead going as BBC’s Sherlock Holmes and Molly Hooper.

 

Loki got to be Sherlock.

 

But he did have to rub Natasha’s shoulders for it.

 

They were almost ready to go, but Loki was dragging major ass – as usual. He kept fidgeting with his hair and going back and forth over whether or not he should wear the trench coat: _“I don’t want it go get spilled on!”_ and _“How can I not wear the coat it’s the essence of the ensemble!”_

The truth was that he had reservations about going tonight. For one thing, he was nervous about interacting with Fandral in front of his brother and best friend – because they had a tendency to snarl whenever he came up; and for another he was nervous about seeing Tony, though he couldn’t explain why.

 

Natasha, on the other hand, was excited about the upcoming party. She had met Thor’s roommate Clint Barton at the last football game and secretly hoped that he would be in attendance tonight. The Molly outfit she had chosen was the slinky black dress from Christmas and it would be great if she could flirt with him a bit while wearing it. She had _wanted_ to dress as Irene, but then reasoned that if they saved that costume she might be able to get Loki to do it next year.

 

“You ready, yet?” she asked as she fussed with her large hoop earrings one final time.

 

He nodded slowly before taking her hand so they could leave.

 

Natasha knew that there was something _off_ about Loki tonight, but had declined to comment on it. It seemed like their friendship had been reduced to worrying about him and being afraid to say anything about it. She actually felt like they hadn’t had a _real_ conversation in months – since he started dating that wretched boy.

 

She didn’t know how to fix it, though. She wanted to talk to Loki about what was going on and see if he was _actually_ okay or if he was just pretending to be – but it seemed like _everything_ was a sore subject to him.

 

Natasha squeezed his hand a bit tighter as they exited the dorm and willed for all of her love and adoration of her best friend to seep out of her hand and into his. She wanted to grab him and scream ‘I’m here for you – I love you!’, but she didn’t.

 

She didn’t know that she needed to.

 

oooooooo

 

There were too many people at this fucking party.

 

Everywhere he turned there was some drunken frat boy hitting on a girl wearing a poor excuse for a costume intended to show off her boobs. It was loud, smelled strongly of vodka, and he couldn’t find his boyfriend (not that he was really trying).

 

The party had also transitioned from people standing around drinking and talking, into a _dance_ party – the horror of all horrors for Loki.

 

The lights had been dimmed in the enormous living room, someone had turned on an effing strobe light and the music was so loud the bass was shaking the walls. Worst of all, though, everyone was coupling up to grind on each other – something Loki had _zero_ interest in doing.

 

His older brother was currently dirty dancing with Jane, which looked almost comical since he was so much larger than her. Their costumes, Beauty and the Beast, were almost too perfect for the sight before him with tiny Jane trying to keep her elbows tucked in and his oaf of a brother hanging all over her.

 

Natasha had disappeared with Thor’s roommate, and was presumably doing something similar somewhere in the mass of people.

 

Loki had been hanging out against a wall with a drink in his hand and was about to refill it until he spotted Tony.

 

The previous night the partners had discussed the engineer’s options for a costume. Tony maintained that he wanted to dress as Batman, because he fancied himself as a ‘Batman waiting to happen’ since he was a wealthy genius, and Loki told him he should dress as the Dread Pirate Roberts because of reasons.

 

When Tony didn’t recognize that character, Loki freaked out, stopped what they were doing and demanded that they watch _The Princess Bride_ immediately. He happened to have it in his collection of movies and so the boys went to his dorm room and cuddled up on the bed to watch it on Loki’s laptop.

 

They _could_ have put it in the DVD player, sat on opposite ends of the bed and Tony would have kept his arms at his sides instead of inconspicuously draping one around Loki’s shoulders when he started to nod off – but they didn’t.

 

Instead, they curled up like that, Loki fell asleep after an hour with his head on Tony’s chest, and when the film was over, Tony-the-gentleman did the same thing he had when they watched _30 Rock_ : he climbed out of the bed, put the laptop away and went to sleep in his own bed so he didn’t overstep his boundaries.

 

But apparently the film had made an impact because here he was, dressed as the Dread Pirate Robert, just as Loki had suggested.

 

The costume was perfect down to the last detail: black boots, black pants, black mask, black gloves – the only thing different was the shirt. In the film it was a drawstring in the front that was loosened to reveal a bit of skin. _Tony_ had torn a slit all the way down his shirt and the drawstrings were completely undone. The effect meant that his chest was completely exposed. Every muscle was on display for the hungry eye. He looked…

 

_So hot_.

 

How had Loki never noticed his muscles before? Were they always right there underneath his shirts? The man wore almost nothing but tank tops around him – surely he would have seen this by now.

 

The muscles rippled a bit as Tony laughed at something and Loki felt his own breath catch at the sight. He glanced up to see what made his partner laugh like that and saw

 

_Pepper_.

 

Now Loki, for the most part, liked Pepper – but at this moment he felt and inexplicable urge to shove her away and make Tony laugh at him instead. She also looked too fucking adorable in her Princess Peach costume, and although it wasn’t sexy in the _slightest_ , Loki sort of wished that she had worn something a bit less cute.

 

At that moment, Tony looked up and locked eyes with Loki. His entire face lit up in a smile and he waved his arm to beckon his partner over.

 

Loki found himself flushing a bit and returning the smile shyly, but just as he was about to walk over (and maybe act on his plan to make Pepper leave), he felt a hand grab his wrist.

 

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you, babe,” Fandral said as he turned Loki around to face him before dipping his head to claim his lips.

 

Because he was turned and he had a face full of boyfriend, Loki could not see the way Tony’s smile fell as his arm dropped.

 

“You wanna dance?” Fandral purred as he pulled his lips away and touched their foreheads together, moving his arms to wrap tightly around Loki’s waist.

 

The smaller man laughed a bit nervously and glanced at the puddle of grinding couples. “I don’t know if that counts as dancing,” he replied with a sheepish grin. He _really_ didn’t want to grind like that in front of all these people – that was up there with working out and going to the bathroom: meant to be done in private!

 

Fandral chuckled a bit and pulled off Loki’s trench coat before placing on a random chair. “It’ll be fun,” he murmured before pulling his boyfriend into the crowd, despite his protests.

 

Loki didn’t know how to grind. Even if he did, this was too humiliating to actually _commit_ to. His boyfriend turned him around so he could press his crotch up against Loki’s ass as he started moving their hips together.

 

oooooooo

 

Tony stared at the couple with sad eyes.

 

He hated Fandral. He _hated_ him. He hated how uncomfortable Loki looked, he hated the way that man’s hands were running all over his partner’s body, he hated the way the blond started kissing Loki’s neck –

 

It made him feel sick.

 

He had been fortunate enough not to witness any of this crap, up to this point. Fandral was a roadblock he just _knew_ about, not one that he saw in real life. But now, as he watched that disgusting fuckwad grip Loki’s hips, it all became very real to him.

 

Loki had a fucking boyfriend.

 

None of their cuddling mattered, none of their conversations were going to do anything to change that and it wasn’t like Tony could even _talk_ to Loki about any of this because his friend would start crying and shut him down!

 

He was pulled out of his glaring by a hand on his shoulder, and he turned to see Pepper fixing him with a sympathetic expression.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly – _knowingly_.

 

Tony pretended not to care and shrugged before knocking back the rest of his drink. “For what?” he asked, perhaps a little too forced.

 

She didn’t mock him though; she just patted his arm a bit. “I can tell how much you like him.”

 

He scowled and glared at her. “The hell I do. He’s an annoying pain in my ass, and besides - he’s dating an asshole,” he countered.

 

There was no need to be rude to Pepper, he knew that. She hadn’t done anything wrong, and really it would actually be great to talk to someone about his tangled feelings for his partner because right now he had _no one_ and it was starting to wear on him.

 

“Tony-” she started, but he cut her off.

 

“I’m gonna go refill my drink,” he muttered before walking away.

 

He needed someone to talk to, yes, but he wasn’t in the mood for that right now. Right now he was in the mood to do shots until he couldn’t remember his own name.

 

So he did. Four shots of vodka, two shots of tequila, three shots of gin later (and he took them all in a ten minute span) and his brain was destroyed. Normally he could handle nine shots, no problem – but only if they were spaced out through the evening. What he had just done to his body was actually quite disgusting and he knew it would be hitting him hard soon.

 

From the his position he could still see out into the living room and noticed that Thor had gone over to his brother and it looked like they were arguing about something.

 

Tony scowled at the sight and moved to pour himself another shot when he felt someone come up beside him.

 

It was Sif, a girl he had never spoken to before in his life but knew of through classes. She was an extremely pretty woman; with long dark hair that flowed down her back and was wearing a Xena Warrior Princess costume that made her boobs look enormous. Her lean arms looked strong enough to snap Tony’s neck, and actually made her costume look authentic.

 

She also happened to be glaring at the same thing as Tony.

 

“Fucking, Odinson, right?” she mumbled as she fixed herself a drink.

 

His mind was beginning to spin. “I know!” he practically yelled, enthusiastically. “He’s infuriating!”

 

Sif gave him a sideways glance and smiled a bit as she poured more liquor into her cup. “You don’t like him either?” she asked smoothly.

 

He shook his head, perhaps a bit too fast because immediately things started spinning, and gripped the counter for balance. “No, no no no – he’s great. I just can’t stand who he’s dating,” Tony answered.

 

“He does have pretty poor taste,” she mumbled before taking a sip and then turning to fix her big, pretty eyes on Tony. “You wanna go forget about him?” she asked.

 

Tony didn’t want to forget about him at all. He wanted Loki to dump Fandral in front of everybody and then let Tony take him home so they could have a proper sleepover.

 

He spared another glance to Loki and saw that Thor had been replaced with the boyfriend, and to the tune of Tony’s nightmares – they were kissing. Fandral had his fucking _tongue_ shoved down Loki’s throat and his arms wrapped around that body.

 

Instead of sadness, this time he felt anger. He wanted to shake Loki and scream at him. How could he be letting this happen? Why didn’t he understand what a creep Fandral was? A guy who was alienating him from his best friend and brother was not someone to be with! And Tony was _right here_. He was right fucking here, ready to sweep Loki off his feet.

 

But it wasn’t going to happen. Loki was with Fandral. He was pressed up against a wall kissing his boyfriend.

 

Against Tony’s better judgment, he nodded at the woman. When she took his hand and began to pull him upstairs, his mind was so fuzzy that he didn’t see the looks he got from Thor, Natasha, Pepper,

 

_And Loki_.

 

He didn’t know that Loki had just realized he was attracted to Tony. He didn’t know that his friends were _rooting_ for him silently. He also had no idea that he and Sif were talking about two different brothers.

 

When they entered a bedroom and the door had been shut, Sif didn’t waste time with kissing or touching. She immediately dropped to her knees and began undoing the laces on his loose, black pants.

 

He wasn’t hard when she took him in her mouth. His mind wasn’t even entertaining sexual thoughts. But when he moved his hand to grip her hair and noticed that it was a familiar shade of black… he pretended it was someone else giving him pleasure.

 

That was the only thing he enjoyed about the encounter. She sucked him off while he moaned incoherently, stopping right before he released, so she could climb on top of him and ride his cock. Midway through the act he encouraged her to get off and turn over on her knees and he took her from behind, to continue his fantasy. He knew that her sex was _not_ what Loki would feel like, but it was all he was going to get for tonight. So he took it.

 

Neither of them cared that they were using each other. Sif pretended it was Thor, the object of her affections, fucking her and didn’t care that Tony kept moaning out “Lo” – whoever the eff that was.

 

When they finished, they choked out the names of the people they were fantasizing about and as a result weren’t listening to each other.

 

Sif didn’t even wait to catch her breath before she pulled her panties back on and left, leaving Tony sprawled on the bed and panting.

 

He didn’t hate himself yet, that would come tomorrow, but he did feel hollow.

 

There was enough sense left in his drunken brain to know that he needed to pull his pants on and leave before someone walked in and found him like this. At the moment, he desired nothing more than his bed, and some peace and quiet.

 

When he exited the room, Pepper was standing in the hallway waiting for him with a neutral expression.

 

“Hey, I’m going to take you home now, okay?” she asked in her all-business voice.

 

There is a tone people acquire when talking to drunks. It is higher pitched, a tad condescending, and infinitely exhausted from the task of caring for someone who is beyond reason and control. It is almost unavoidable and it the right of those who must play caretaker _because_ they are tasked with such an unfortunate job.

 

But it is also infuriating to drunken people.

 

Tony stared at her for a moment, trying to decide whether or not he wanted to say something shitty and demand that she leave him alone, before he found himself crying.

 

Tony Stark _never_ cried – and certainly not in front of people he barely knew. But as Pepper wrapped her arms around him in a comforting embrace and tenderly rubbed his back he found himself coming apart.

 

He hated feeling like this; helpless and confused, like there was _nothing_ he could do about his feelings – even if what he wanted to do was make them go away.

 

But Pepper held him for a few minutes until he had stopped his tears and then let him wipe his face off on her dress.

 

“I’m going to take you home now, okay?” she repeated in a kinder tone as she wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled one of his over her shoulder so she could escort him out.

 

He nodded numbly as she helped walk back downstairs without falling over. His stomach was starting to churn, and the second they got outside he threw himself from her hold, doubled over in the grass and began emptying the contents of his stomach.

 

Frankly, it was amazing that he hadn’t barfed all over Sif, but he supposed that was the magic of shots: they sneak up on a person.

 

Pepper was patient with him, holding the extra fabric of his mask out of the way and gently rubbing his back as he heaved miserably.

 

The very act of vomiting made him want to cry again, but he knew that he couldn’t with all of these people who could come out and see him.

 

When he had stopped long enough to catch his breath and stop choking, Pepper guided him back up and walked him to the curb. They stood there for a few moments while Tony’s head lolled on her shoulder, before Thor’s car pulled up.

 

He was far too gone by this point to ask _why_ Thor was taking him home or to even thank him for doing so, but he did have the courtesy not to throw up again inside the car.

 

The rest of the evening passed in a blur for him. Pepper walked him all the way back to his dorm room, helped him pull off his boots, shirt, and mask off (though she left his pants on), made him drink some water, and put a trashcan next to his bed.

 

She made sure to stay and wait an hour, to ensure that he wouldn’t throw up again and risk choking on it, then left another water bottle and some aspirin on his bedside table before heading back to her own dorm.

 

It was a horrible, horrible night.

 

oooooooo

 

Back at the party, Loki had seen Tony head up the stairs holding some girl’s hand and was irrationally upset about it. He knew that he had no _right_ to be upset, because he just, not two seconds ago, been kissing his boyfriend, but it just looked so sleazy and gross for two drunk people to go find some room to fuck in.

 

Loki secretly hoped that they weren’t fucking.

 

But when he saw Sif come back downstairs with her skirt accidentally tucked into the back of her panties, he realized what had happened.

 

It wasn’t _fair_ for him to be angry or hurt. Tony was allowed to fuck whomever he wanted and he didn’t need anyone’s permission. But Loki also felt loss over the idea of his partner being with someone else. He thought that maybe, _maybe,_ Tony had actual feelings for him. After last night, the way they cuddled…but it had been too much to hope for. What he had suspected, that Fandral was the only person who would ever have any interest in him, was true. He was undeserving and unworthy of the love of others. Even Natasha! Loki could tell that he was slowly pushing her away but he didn’t know how to fix it and honestly he was scared to try.

 

His whole world had become his _boyfriend_ , punctuated with bouts of Tony. Loki didn’t understand why he was only happy anymore when he was around his partner – why he was the only person Loki could relax around.

 

It didn’t used to be that way.

 

Thor and Natasha used to be safe havens for him but, ever since Fandral, Loki found himself anxious about spending time with them because he was always worried that the topic of his boyfriend would somehow come up. He feared that they would encourage Loki to break up with him, or tell him that he needed to stand up to him – like Tony had.

 

But none of them understood that Loki couldn’t do that. He was in a relationship – an actual, adult relationship, for the first time in his life and he couldn’t risk letting go of it. What if no one else ever loved him again? Not that Fandral had used the word ‘love’.

 

Loki actually felt _lucky_ to be with him. Fandral put up with his inexperience, his annoying habits, and with _him_. For some wild and crazy reason, he wanted to be with Loki; a boy who hated himself so much that he _could not understand_ how unhealthy his situation was.

 

Furthermore, he expected that all the stress of his relationship was just part of the deal. He had always heard people say that ‘love is pain’ and now he thought he knew what that meant. The ‘hard work’ was dealing with the torture of sex, and the neglect of interest his boyfriend displayed in his personal life. Now, he knew that ‘compromise’ meant putting up with whatever Fandral wanted to do, because Fandral was the one who was being kind enough to want to date Loki.

 

Natasha wouldn’t understand. Thor wouldn’t understand. His parents wouldn’t understand. They didn’t know how much Loki despised himself. So he didn’t, and wouldn’t, talk to them about his relationship.

 

He also realized, after tonight, that Tony wasn’t going to understand either. Tony, who was the only person he had even _considered_ talking about his relationship issues with. Tony, whose face always lit up like the Fourth of July when he saw Loki. Tony, who went to bed with a random girl tonight…

 

No. Loki decided right then and there that _no one_ was going to understand his situation. He needed to be grateful for his boyfriend – and he was. He intended to hold onto the one person in the world who was willing to make the sacrifice that was being with Loki.

 

When his boyfriend took him to bed that night, he didn’t cry. He gritted his teeth against the pain and let Fandral spill himself inside his body. When he fell asleep that night, he held in his tears and tried to ignore the knot in his stomach that usually accompanied his sexual encounters.

 

He hoped that everything would be okay in the morning, even though it was a horrible, horrible night.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m sorry ;A; Hopefully that explains a bit better why Loki is still in this relationship. Thank you for reading!


	9. Advice, Natasha Teasing, and Star Gazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper gives Tony some advice, Natasha tried to talk about the party, and Loki joins Tony for a meteor shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, my darlings. Thank you all for the love and feedback :3 90% of my reviews are just talking about how much y’all hate Fandral and it gives me such warm fuzzies that you are invested enough in this story to despise my character so much. :3 
> 
> I posted this on tumblr, but since most of you probably don’t follow me and didn’t see it: I have the rest of the story planned out, chapter-by-chapter. There will be a sequel and I have already written the epilogue for it. 
> 
> I’m going to post my url again because I had another person ask me for it: bundtfuck.tumblr.com
> 
> Thank you all for reading, for the love, for the Fandral hate. Truly, it makes the updates come faster when I get such wonderful feedback :3 
> 
> And btdubs the Ariel costume will come back ;)

oooooooo

 

Tony vowed that one day, with his vast wealth and resources, he was going to develop a pill that would eradicate hangovers _forever_.

 

The morning after the party he woke up feeling horrible. His head was pounding, his mouth tasted rank, his stomach was still churning and there was a possibility that he was still a little drunk. He would have been content to go right back to bed and sleep off the side effects, but being a seasoned drinker he knew that he needed to down a lot of water and get some food in him.

 

He sat up with a groan and held his eyes for a moment to try and make them cease their throbbing as his stomach did a tiny summersault from being startled.

 

The sun _had_ to be mocking him. There was no other excuse for why it was shining so sweetly and brightly and imposing like fucking hellfire through his dorm room window. 

 

Tony could not actually remember most of last night’s events, and he certainly could not recall how he got home. Someone must have aided him, judging by the water bottle and aspirin placed next to his phone on his bedside table. He unlocked his phone to check the time and an unread text that perhaps his mystery savior had messaged him.

 

_Ooh, maybe it was Loki!_

And it was with that thought that everything came crashing down around him.

 

He remembered Loki dancing with Fandral, he remembered them kissing, he remembered doing shot after shot after shot, he remembered going into a bedroom with Sif…

 

Oh god. Oh _god_. What had he done? He went to a party hoping to convince Loki to play a drinking game with him and wound up fucking some girl he didn’t even know! A horrible thought occurred to him then:

 

What if Loki saw them together.

 

In addition to all of his hangover symptoms, Tony felt the dull ache and shame, which accompanies self-loathing, sweep through him like a tidal wave. He was embarrassed, angry, and infinitely remorseful.

 

_What was I thinking!?_

 

He could not recall anything after going to bed with her, and he could _barely_ remember the actual encounter, so he didn’t know if he spoke to Loki afterwards, or if anyone had seen them. He vaguely remembered throwing up in someone’s lawn… but he wasn’t sure what time that was or what happened after.

 

He groaned as he looked down to read the text.

 

**_How are you feeling this morning? – Pepper_ **

Hmm…Tony also vaguely recalled wiping his mouth on her dress at one point. He decided there was no point in lying to her and answered back:

 

**_There is a hell and I am in it_ ** **.**

There. Nice and dramatic.

 

He needed to shower and eat something before he could do anything else, but he wanted to text Loki and ask to see him.

 

The device lit up in his hands again with another text from Pepper.

 

**_I’ll get you some food and that will help. I can meet you in 30 min?_ **

 

God bless this woman. She barely knew Tony and she was taking care of him out of the goodness of her heart. Or maybe he gave her money last night… he had no way of knowing. In any case,  he fired off a response telling her how wonderful she was and then dragged his ass out of bed to shower.

 

oooooooo

 

Pepper the goddess had brought him bacon. _Bacon_. The ultimate hangover food. All of the grease and fat went to work on Tony’s brain immediately and cuddled it with its bacon-y goodness.

 

“How much do you remember of last night?” the strawberry blonde asked as she moved around Tony’s room picking up clothes and books and things. He had tried telling her she didn’t have to do that, but she waved him off and continued.

 

“Not a lot…” he began nervously. “But I’m pretty sure I vomited at some point,” he joked as he bit into more bacon. _Bacon._

 

She paused her movements and fixed him with a look. “Oh, you vomited _a lot_ ,” she replied. “Were it not so…disgusting it would have been impressive.”

 

He felt sheepish at that. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” he apologized. “Normally I try not to go crazy but last night I… I was upset about something.”

 

This time she stopped what she was doing altogether and turned around to stare at him. “Tony I was _there_. I know what upset you.”

 

He frowned at her. “What?”

 

She sighed and picked up another shirt. “You and I were having a conversation when you spotted Loki and Fandral dancing,” she explained. “Then you went and played Russian Roulette with your liver.”

 

It was sort of coming back to him. “Christ, I’m sorry, Pepper. If I was rude to you-”

 

She gave him a look.

 

“Right, I’m sorry for being rude to you. I didn’t handle myself well,” he mumbled before putting the bacon down, guiltily.

 

Once the final article of clothing had been plucked from the floor, she dragged his desk chair over to sit next to him. She seemed to consider what she was going to say, or maybe how she was going to say it, before taking a deep breath, looking him straight in the eye and asking, “What’s the deal with you and Loki?”

 

Well _that_ was unexpected. He looked down at his hands, suddenly embarrassed to make eye contact and answered, “We’re partners.”

 

“Are you in love with him?” she asked without missing a beat.

 

What the hell woman. He scoffed at that and met her eyes again. “Hardly! What would make you think that?”

 

But she wasn’t buying it. She pursed her lips and just stared at him. It was actually kind of unnerving.

 

He sighed and picked up another piece of bacon to have some kind of distraction for his hands. “Alright, look. I may have a _crush_ -” and he said that word very pointedly, “- on him, but it’s not love. We’ve only known each other for two months,” he explained.

 

She nodded and considered that information. “But you want to be with him?”

 

Um, yes Pepper – duh. Of course I want to be with the smart, funny, talented, ridiculously handsome boy who I get along so well with. But instead he just shrugged and ate more bacon.

 

“Tony, I sympathize with your situation. Really, I do,” she began, her voice full of sincerity and compassion. “And lord knows _everyone_ hates his boyfriend…but he has a boyfriend,” she finished calmly.

 

Tony winced at that and stopped chewing. He knew that – of course he fucking knew that. Why did this woman think that was important to tell him. “I know,” he mumbled.

 

She shook her head. “No, listen to me. He already _has_ a boyfriend, and whether or not anyone else likes him is irrelevant because for whatever reason, Loki does,” she said.

 

Ouch. “I know that, _Pepper_ ,” he hissed back, perhaps more bitchily than was necessary.

 

But Pepper was undeterred and incredibly patient with his childish behavior. She placed a comforting hand on his knee and waited until he looked her in the eyes before continuing. “What I mean by that, is that what he needs is a _friend_ ,” she clarified.

 

Tony shifted uncomfortably. “What do you mean?”

 

Pepper sat back and considered her words carefully. “Natasha says that she and Loki are barely able to talk anymore because he’s always nervous and anxious around her,” she explained. “I’ve told her that I think it’s because of Fandral, and while she agrees with me, she and I strongly disagree on how to handle it,” she continued, pausing to gauge his reaction.

 

He nodded for her to go on.

 

“Natasha is very close to yelling at him to break up with this boy, and I barely know Loki, but I don’t see that going over very well,” she paused again and took a deep breath. “What he needs is a friend who will just _be there for him_.”

 

Tony shook his head. “Natasha and Thor _are_ there for him, he just doesn’t realize it-” he started.

 

“I never said they weren’t,” she interrupted. “I know better than anyone how devoted Natasha is to him. They have been best friends from the second they first saw each other. But Natasha has never been in a relationship, so she doesn’t know what kind of language she needs to use to get through to Loki,” she explained.

 

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Tony interjected. “She knows him better than anyone, except his brother, and if there is any kind of ‘language’ to get through to him she’s going to be the one who knows it,” he retorted, putting air quotes around Pepper’s choice of word.

 

She patiently waited for him to finish before continuing. “I may be wrong, Tony,” she conceded. “But I am speaking as a relatively objective, third-party observer,” she defended.

 

He stared at her as he took in her words. “So you’re saying, Natasha and Loki are drifting apart because she wants to yell at him and he’s nervous around her?” he clarified.

 

“Basically, yes. Now my point, is that Natasha thinks it’s her job to beat this guy up and force Loki to stop dating him,” she said.

 

Tony blinked and waited for more. “Is it not?”

 

“No, and it’s not you’re job either.”

 

He scowled at that. “I never said it was!” he defended. This woman was starting to overstep her bounds.

 

“Yes, you did.”

 

Oh, maybe not as much.

 

“When did I say that I want to beat up Fan-Loki’s boyfriend?” he corrected himself. That name was still not to be uttered in the holy place that was his bed.

 

“Last night when I was taking you home,” she answered in that same calm, non-judgmental tone. “You kept telling me how you were going to fight him and then take Loki as your bride,” she said without a hint of embarrassment.

 

Tony felt it for her. “Oh…well why shouldn’t Natasha and I fight him? Loki’s our friend,” he reasoned.

 

Pepper’s patience finally seemed to be cracking and she gave an exasperated sigh. “Tony, you are missing the point! I’m telling you that Natasha’s attitude is pushing him away and you want to do the same thing? You both need to understand something,” she said very seriously, giving him a no-nonsense look as she leaned forward to place her elbows on her knees and clasp her hands together. “It doesn’t _matter_ that Fandral is a jerk and it doesn’t matter if he’s the best guy in the world because this is _Loki’s_ life and _Loki’s_ decision. He is happy.”

 

Ouch.

 

“Natasha says that she thinks he’s always anxious around her because he is so worried she will make him break up with Fandral – which means _he doesn’t want to_.”

 

Ouch again.

 

“What he needs right now are his friends. This guy is a creep, and I don’t think they are going to last – but Loki has to come to that decision _on his own_. He can’t have you and Natasha make it for him, and if you both keep pushing the issue then you are going to lose him as a friend completely and then all he will have is that horrible boyfriend and then Loki will _never_ leave him,” she finished.

 

Tony hadn’t realized that there was a tear rolling down his cheek as he met Pepper’s eyes. Not even bacon was a comfort to him right now, when suddenly he remembered something.

 

“He did tell me that Fandral is a terrible boyfriend,” Tony offered, perking up a bit. That changed things, right?

 

Pepper offered him a weak smile. “I know, you told me a month ago when he said that, but it doesn’t change anything. Loki still wants to be with him,” she replied sadly.

 

Tony looked down at his hands as a tear appeared in the corner of his other eye. “But I think he’s making Loki unhappy,” he mumbled.

 

“Do you think that because Loki acts unhappy or because you want to be with him?” she asked. It was amazing how she could call him on this and not sound like she was preaching.

 

“I guess… I mean I know they have fights sometimes… or at least that Fan-his _boyfriend_ upsets him sometimes,” he offered.

 

“Everyone in a relationship gets upset sometimes. But Loki says he’s happy being with Fandral,” she reasoned. “If and when he breaks up with him, don’t you want it to be because he made the choice to and not because you bullied him into it?”

 

She was right. If Tony wanted to be the good guy and be respectful of Loki, that meant he needed to honor his choices. Unless he had reason to believe that Fandral was actually _hurting_ him, he needed to let Loki live his own life and just silently pray that he would come to his senses and realize that Tony could make him so much happier.

 

Suddenly he realized something.

 

He had no _idea_ if he was capable of making Loki happier, he just assumed that because they got along so well and because, well, it was _Tony Stark_.

 

God this would all be so much fucking easier if he could actually have a _conversation_ with his partner about this – but his relationship was so off limits!

 

“What if he’s hurting Loki?” he asked as a last ditch effort.

 

She raised her eyebrows at that. “If he’s hurting Loki, I will personally help you castrate him,” she said seriously. “Do you have any reason to believe that is the case?”

 

Tony scowled and dropped his head into his hands. “Only that Loki’s so damn secretive about everything!”

 

Pepper gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his knee again.

 

Tony pulled his face up, still in his hands, so that his fingers were dragging his bottom lip down as he looked at the girl. “So what do I do, Pep?” he asked dejectedly.

 

“Be there for him as a friend,” was her simple answer.

 

He frowned at that. “So, just keep doing what I’m doing?”

 

She nodded at him. “Yeah, basically. Keep meeting for your project, keep going out to dinner, keep cuddling when you watch movies-”

 

Tony flushed pink at that.

 

“- and just _be there_ for him. And if he ever decides to open up about Fandral to you, treat it as delicately as you would with anyone else. I think that’s what Loki needs,” she explained.

 

He sighed and stared at her for a moment. “How are you this intuitive when you barely know him?” he asked.

 

She sighed at that. “I just pay attention, I suppose. Although I’m not _that_ intuitive…I will admit that I am missing something.”

 

Tony raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh?”

 

 

“I do think there is something weird going on, since he won’t talk to any of you about Fandral-” she started, and Tony perked up instantly to respond, “-But! Until someone figures out what it is, don’t accidentally make yourself an enemy to him. What I said before is true: if he loses his friends, all he will have left is the boyfriend and then they will _never_ break up,” she cautioned.

 

Tony reclined back on the bed and pulled his pillow over his face. “Goddammit,” he mumbled into the fluff.

 

“One more thing,” she said suddenly, before he could indulge in moping.

 

He didn’t remove the pillow, but did grunt to let her know she could speak.

 

“If you want to make a good impression on Loki, don’t have random hookups at parties,” she advised.

 

The pillow was dramatically thrown from his face as he dropped his jaw. “Oh god - does he know about that?!” he cried.

 

Pepper nodded. “I didn’t get to talk to him about it or anything, but I know he saw you go upstairs with her,” she told him.

 

_Godmutherfuckingdammit._  “Does he hate me?” Tony asked nervously.

 

Pepper shrugged at him and sat back in the chair. “I don’t see why he would, you didn’t do anything _wrong_ , it’s just gross,” she explained.

 

Tony scowled. “Well I hate myself for it,” he said grumpily.

 

“Just don’t do it again. It would be a shame if you lost your chance with Loki because you got some girl pregnant or caught a disease,” she reasoned as she absentmindedly chipped at her nail polish.

 

Once again, she was right. “Thank you, Pepper,” he said warmly. “For everything, you truly are a superhero,” he offered with a smile.

 

She smirked at him. “No problem, I like taking care of things.”

 

“Well, I owe you big time,” Tony sighed. “So… should I call Loki?”

 

Pepper smiled at him. “I don’t see why not. But just so you know, Natasha is with him right now, so you may want to wait,” she suggested.

 

He nodded and smiled at her again. “In that case, I think I’m going to go to my lab and play until this hangover goes away,” he announced.

 

“Sounds like a plan. And Tony?”

 

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Yeah?”

 

She paused and chewed her lip awkwardly. “Thank you…thank you for listening. I don’t… have a lot of friends… and – well it’s just nice to have someone who listens,” she said quietly.

 

Tony practically beamed at her. “I don’t have any friends either and I’m an irresponsible wreck – we’re perfect for each other!” he declared.

 

She laughed at that and smiled. “I’m happy to do what I can.”

 

It was true, she genuinely just wanted to help people. She had no romantic interest in Tony, and feared that by discouraging him to make a move on Loki she might come across that way, but just wanted him to be happy.

 

The strange thing was that there was something about Tony that drew her to him; as though she could sense in her bones that he was a lost soul who needed her guidance – or perhaps she was just desperate for a friend. She had Natasha, and they got along well, but Natasha had Loki. Pepper wanted her own Loki: someone she could spend her time with and share meals with and confide in, because right now she felt like she only had _acquaintances_.

 

Pepper thought she was giving Tony good advice from a friend who cares, and really – she was. Telling Tony to back off and respect Loki’s decisions is solid advice and realistically, if he didn’t then Loki would never be able to take him seriously as a prospective partner because Tony would be the guy who tried to _control_ him.

 

She didn’t realize that Fandral was hurting Loki. No one did. Not even Loki.

 

oooooooo

 

Natasha came over to Loki’s room the morning after the party not to talk about Fandral, but to tell her friend about Clint. She also wanted to ask Loki if he saw Tony head upstairs with that tramp, but frankly she was so disappointed in the engineer that she didn’t bring it up.

 

She was currently sitting in Loki’s desk chair with her friend seated on the ground in between her knees so she could play with his hair and he could paint her toenails as they talked and sipped at the coffee she had brought.

 

“And then he pulled me aside and tried to slow dance with me instead of grinding,” Natasha said as she separated some strands of hair so she could make a braid.

 

Loki smiled, though she couldn’t see it from their positions, and said, “Aw, that is cute. He wins points for that.”

 

She smiled fondly at Loki’s head. “I know. It was weird, the whole time we were kissing I kept thinking that I should just punch him in the stomach and run…but I just liked it,” she mumbled.

 

“Kissing is nice,” Loki murmured back.

 

Natasha laughed as she began twisting the strands together. “Oh yeah? You like kissing?” she teased.

 

It was intended as harmless teasing, but she felt Loki immediately tense underneath her. For the umpteenth time, though, she ignored it in favor of not starting a fight. “So I noticed that Tony went to that party dressed as the Dread Pirate Roberts,” she teased gently before undoing the braid so she could start another.

 

She couldn’t see Loki’s face or she would have commented on the shy smile that erupted at the mention of his name, followed by the way it fell almost instantly when he remembered how his partner had behaved the night before.

 

“I showed him _The Princess Bride_ on Friday night,” he muttered back before dipping the brush back in the bottle to acquire more polish.

 

Natasha grinned at that. “Oh yeah? Well clearly he liked it. You think he was trying to impress you?” she baited gently.

 

And the smile returned. “I hardly think so,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant – but Natasha could hear the grin in his voice. “He didn’t even do the costume correctly, his shirt was…” and Natasha could feel him shiver a bit, “…completely undone,” he finished a tad breathlessly.

 

Now she had a choice to make. The topic of Fandral was off limits, but this…

 

She decided to go for it.

 

“I thought he looked pretty hot,” she said in a perfectly innocent and casual tone before shaking out another braid.

 

Loki, even with all of his penchant for drama, tried to steel himself immediately. “I didn’t notice,” he replied in a tone that sounded a little too forced.

 

Her grin widened as she pressed on. “Really? Because I saw you two making bedroom eyes at each other.”

 

He sputtered at that and turned around to face her. “ _Bedroom eyes?_ ” he asked, sounding scandalized. “I was not making bedroom eyes at Tony.”

 

“Oh, it must have just been him then.”

 

Loki couldn’t fight off the smile that took over his face at those words, so he turned back away from his best friend a look and muttered, “He was doing no such thing,” before going back to her toes.

 

Sure, Loki. “Did you get to talk to him at all last night?” she asked, moving her hands from his hair to his shoulders. Perhaps a bit of physical loosening up would get his lips to do the same.

 

He released a pleasured sigh at the contact and shifted a bit to get more comfortable. “I didn’t get the chance, he disappeared with that _woman_ ,” he replied, bitterly.

 

“Yeah, I saw that too,” Natasha said distractedly. “But I don’t think that was a big deal,” she added quickly.

 

Loki gave a little huff and recapped the polish bottle. Her toes were finished and pretty. “It doesn’t matter, he can sleep with whomever he wants,” he said.

 

The redhead rolled her eyes and continued her rubbing. God Loki could be so frustrating. But just as she was about to call him on it there was a knock at the door.

 

Loki, grateful for the interruption, hopped up to open it and revealed a bright and beaming Thor.

 

“Good morning, brother!” he yelled a little too loudly for standing so close to Loki’s face.

 

The younger of the two stepped aside so Thor could come in. “Hello, Thor,” he answered back. “What’s up?”

 

“I just came to make sure you were feeling alright and to see if you wanted to hang out with me while I play _Halo 3_ ,” he replied cheerfully.

 

Loki glanced at Natasha who just smiled and gestured toward the door. Her friend needed some time with his brother, and maybe Thor would be able to get Loki to talk about Tony.

 

It was unlikely, but maybe.

 

After the boys departed, Natasha headed back to her dormitory, hoping that Pepper had finished her talk with Tony so they would compare notes.

 

oooooooo

 

_Be there for him as a friend_.

 

Tony had been repeating that mantra to himself for the last three weeks, and frankly it was fucking exhausting.

 

That first week after the party had been tense between the partners. Loki didn’t say anything about Sif, but Tony assumed he was upset about it by the way he was acting. It seemed like he wanted to avoid any kind of intimate contact with the engineer, like he thought he was gross or something. Even their time spent together was comprised mostly of sitting quietly and doing their own thing; Tony would be messing in his lab while Loki did his homework for other classes. They didn’t get a single meal together and he really missed that.

 

But then on Saturday they grabbed coffee, then Monday they went to dinner, Tuesday they watched a movie, Thursday they sat on a bench outside the admin building and judged people, and by the football game on Saturday they were back to normal.

 

Now, the last Friday before Thanksgiving Break, Loki was going to accompany Tony as he drove out to watch a meteor  shower and document some star crap for his astrophysics class. He had been looking forward to it all week, since Loki said he would go with him, and now that the day was here Tony was practically giddy.

 

The only problem was the weather.

 

In recent weeks, it had really begun to look like autumn, with the leaves changing colors, the afternoons taking on that warm amber glow, and the way everything smelled _brisk_ all the time. It was gorgeous during the day – the perfect weather for sitting on a bench with a scarf sipping hot coffee.

 

But the nights. The nights were bitchy.

 

This particular evening it was expected to get down to thirty-four degrees, and while that wasn’t technically _freezing_  it was still pretty fucking unpleasant for a task that required him to be outdoors. Tony also knew that he could technically be doing this from indoors… but it was impossible to appreciate the stars from the city and he might not be able to see anything at all!

 

So driving into the middle of nowhere it was.

 

He came prepared though; Tony placed two thick, warm, fuzzy blankets in the backseat of his trunk, along with his telescope and small cooler with some beer and sodas. Although the cooler was probably not necessary with how cold it was expected to get tonight. He also came equipped with two large coffees in the cup holders of the front seat. He had gotten Loki’s favorite and drew a picture of a turtle saying “shello there!” on it – because he was a cute dork.

 

Now he just needed to go pick up his partner and they would be on their way!

 

He was so glad Loki was coming with him, mostly because Tony wanted to spend time with him, but also there was someone to call 911 if the engineer froze to death.

 

When he pulled into the circle drive outside of Loki’s dormitory he was pleased to see that his partner was already waiting outside – listening to his iPod.

 

When he stopped the car, Tony rolled down the window, waited for his diva to take out the ear buds, and said, “Lookin’ for a good time, big boy?” before dramatically batting his eyelashes and throwing his head back.

 

Thank god Loki laughed at that and didn’t punch him in the stomach as he climbed into the car. “if I were I’d be getting into a different car,” he replied with a grin.

 

“Oofa! You couldn’t handle this anyway,” Tony teased before gesturing to the coffee. “I got you some caffeine since we will be out pretty late.”

 

“Oh, thank you!” Loki said in an almost crazed voice as he seized the cup and began drinking. “Ugh, I’ve been up since six a.m. and I’m exhausted,” he complained when he finally finished drinking.

 

“How did you not just burn your tongue? And why did you get up at six?” Tony asked as he pulled out onto the road.

 

“I did burn my tongue – I’m regretting that decision, and I couldn’t sleep,” Loki grumbled back before replacing the cup. “I went for a really long run today instead.”

 

Tony smiled at that. “Oh yeah? You weren’t freezing? I imagine it would be ten times as hard to run when it’s this cold outside,” he posed. “Although I hate running _period_ , so…”

 

Loki shrugged beside him. “It does make it harder to breathe, but it also means there are less people outside and I like that. I couldn’t do yoga, though, the ground was too cold,” he said with a sigh.

 

“I forgot you do that,” Tony said, more to himself than to Loki. “Will you teach me sometime?”

 

“Will I teach you what?”

 

“How to do yoga.”

 

Loki made a face at that. “Ehm… I don’t know… I’m sort of private about it…”

 

Tony shrugged. “No worries. But – if you do? I’ll rub your feet again,” he offered as he turned to smile at the boy.

 

Loki’s cheeks flushed pink. “I think you look for excuses to rub my feet,” he mumbled as he opened up Tony’s glove compartment to go through it.

 

The engineer laughed at that. “Oh yeah, you know me. I can’t get enough of _rubbing feet_. Hey pick a CD out because we are going to lose radio service once we get out there,” he instructed as he saw Loki grab his case.

 

One of the things he liked most about Loki was that he would listen to _anything_ Tony put on and he never complained about it. He could blast his hard rock in his lab while Loki was reading, in the car, and even in Thor’s dorm once – and Loki would even sometimes hum along or move a bit to the beat. He won a lot of points for that.

 

“Here,” Loki said as he held out an album. _Van Halen’s_ first album.

 

Yeah, he was going to marry this boy.

 

“You rock,” Tony grinned as he slipped the album in. “Do you really like this or are you just appeasing me?” he asked seriously.

 

Loki shrugged. “I didn’t really listen to it much before you, but I do like it. There’s something… _epic_ about them,” he said as the first song started up. “I do think this genre will forever remind me of you, though,” he commented.

 

Tony grinned again. “Is that a bad thing?” he teased.

 

Loki punched him in the arm. “It’s horrible,” he answered, but Tony could _hear_ the smile.

 

They listened to the first song with Tony loudly singing along and Loki continually turning up the volume to tune him out in between sipping his coffee. When _Eruption_ ended and _You Really Got Me_ came on, though, Tony stopped his singing and decided this was another one of their songs.

 

His decision was intensified when Loki started fucking singing along with it.

 

“How do you know the words?” Tony laughed, _extremely_ pleased with that.

 

Loki didn’t answer though, he just turned to Tony and sang along even louder.

 

Tony decided to wait to compliment his singing voice until later, lest it embarrass his partner and make him stop.

 

That was how they spent the ride: sipping coffee, singing along and mocking each other. The trip was supposed to be an hour, so after the first album ended, Loki handed him _The Best of Scorpions_ and Tony had to resist the urge to pull over right there and just start kissing him. He may have also added _No One Like You_ to their relationship playlist.

 

But Tony miscalculated how long they would need to drive to truly escape city lights, and after that album ended and they had been driving for an extra fifteen minutes, Loki turned to him and asked, “Do you know where we’re going?”

 

He made a guilty face. “I do, it’s just that the whole point of driving out here is to escape the city lights and we can still see them…” he replied.

 

Loki simply shrugged though. “I don’t mind. There’s nothing going on tomorrow,” he said as he stretched out his arms and legs.

 

Tony paused to see if Loki would correct himself before saying. “There’s a pretty important football game tomorrow,” and giving his partner a look.

 

Loki smacked his hands to his face and groaned. “Oh my god that’s right! Fuck,” he said before dramatically tossing his head back.

 

“Why is that a bad thing?” Tony laughed.

 

Loki rolled his head over to look at Tony and groaned. “My parents are coming.”

 

Tony practically shot up in his seat. “Ooh! Do I get to meet them?” he asked excitedly.

 

Loki groaned again and re-covered his face with his hands. “Ugh. Yes, you can meet them,” he said dejectedly before adding, “I figured you would be sitting with me anyway.”

 

Internally, Tony was doing a little happy dance. “Any tips on how to impress them?” he asked.

 

His partner considered that for a moment and then made a face. “If you want to impress my father just tell him how much you like Thor,” he grumbled.

 

“I’m actually not so worried with making a good impression on him. As far as I’m concerned, he needs to impress _me_ tomorrow,” he said before turning and smiling at Loki, who was smiling sadly back at him. “No, tell me how to make your mom love me,” he demanded.

 

Loki laughed. “I’m pretty sure she’s going to like you,” he answered.

 

“Any topics I should avoid? Like politics or rap music?” Tony joked, although he really did want an answer.

 

His partner laughed again. “I’m pretty sure rap music is okay,” he said. “Oh… but, um…” he started awkwardly.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Don’t mention Fandral,” Loki said quietly.

 

Tony felt his stomach clench at that. “Do they not know about him?” he asked, hoping that he sounded normal.

 

Loki paused before answering. “My mother does, but my father… it’s not that I’m not _allowed_ to be gay it’s just-”

 

But Tony interrupted him. “Say no more. I understand,” he said sympathetically. “Should I lie and talk about all the pussy you are getting?” he grinned.

 

Loki laughed – quite hard – at that and hit Tony’s shoulder. “They wouldn’t believe you, if you did.”

 

Tony didn’t see why not. Their son was an unbelievably attractive young man – oh, wait no, maybe it was the whole ‘he’s gay’ thing. That would make sense.

 

“Does it bother you?” Loki suddenly asked.

 

Tony was taken aback. “Does what bother me? All your mad pussy game?” he teased.

 

“That I’m gay,” his partner said quietly.

 

He almost stopped the car. “Hell fucking no it doesn’t bother me,” Tony responded seriously. “It’s part of you, and I’m quite fond of you,” he said. He decided to leave out the part about ‘also I want to put my mouth on your mouth’.

 

Loki was silent, but a smile crept onto his face as he shyly looked at his lap.

 

Tony decided they might as well just pull over where they were and get this star gazing show on the road, in case Loki was uncomfortable – since he couldn’t see his partner’s smile.

 

They had been on a highway in between cities, so there were no streetlights, other cars or giant buildings. It was actually quite stunning with all of the stars sprawled out in the night sky and each one was visible with stunning clarity.

 

Once they had parked, Tony put the top down on the convertible and Loki swore at him.

 

“Sorry – but I need it to properly set up the telescope,” Tony apologized as Loki began violently shivering. “Here, wrap yourself up in one of those blankets,” he instructed, gesturing to where they were sitting in the backseat.

 

The princess did as he was told and climbed into the back. “What’s in the cooler?” he asked as he attempted to maneuver the blanket around himself.

 

“Just some drinks for tonight,” Tony responded noncommittally as he got out of the car to set up the telescope. “I meant to bring speakers to listen to music, too… but I forgot…”

 

Loki scowled at him – but when he was wrapped up like a fussy little burrito, the act lost some of its intimidation and actually made him look fucking _adorable_.

 

Tony couldn’t help the laugh that left him at the sight, which made Loki scowl even more. “I’m sorry-” he panted as he laughed harder, “But you look so cute like that and you’re frowning at me-” before he doubled over in laughter.

 

The way Loki glared at him did nothing to help and he just laughed harder. “I’m cold!” Loki yelled indignantly.

 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Tony finally said after he’d calmed himself down. “Do you want my blanket, too?”

 

Loki shook his head and pouted. “Then you’ll be cold,” he huffed.

 

Tony remembered having a similar conversation weeks before and smiled to himself before climbing in the backseat to join his partner.

 

“You picked the smaller blanket,” he commented as Loki turned his whole, shivering body, to glare at him again. He looked rather like an owl turning its head when he did that.

 

“These blankets aren’t going to be enough,” Loki grumbled before shivering again and shifting his blanket covered arms to hug himself tighter. His nose had already turned pink and the wind was messing up his hair – and the whole effect made Tony just want to squeeze him.

 

“Do you want to share?” Tony suggested. “If we sit on top of mine then we can put yours on top and then wrap mine around us,” he added.

 

_And if that forces us to cuddle a bit then so be it!_

Loki frowned at him – but a sudden gust of wind knocked out whatever sassy response he might have been thinking right out of his head. He nodded quickly and started to shrug off his blanket.

 

“Here, can you just grab the cooler for a second so I can lay out this blanket,” he asked as he picked it up for Loki to take. “Oh but just be careful not to tilt it or it will leak on you-”

 

Maybe he should have started with that instruction, because the very first thing Loki did was tilt it as he tried to stand up with it to get out of the way of Tony spreading out the blanket – and immediately his shirt and jacket were covered in ice water. “Ahhh!!!” he shrieked as the horrid liquid made contact with his sensitive skin.

 

“Oh crap I’m so sorry!” Tony shrieked back. He took the cooler out of Loki’s hands and put in in the passenger seat before turning back to his disgruntled and _freezing_ partner who was –

 

_Sweet mother in heaven_.

 

Taking off his fucking shirt.

 

Loki tossed both the jacket and the shirt on the floor in front of the passenger seat and turned to Tony with a frantic look in his eye.

 

The engineer scrambled and positioned himself laying out so Loki could…basically lie on top of him. But the other boy was too cold to care, so he climbed right on top and began pulling his formerly discarded blanket on top of both of them, then Tony pulled the edged of the larger blanket over and tucked in what he could before slipping his own hands underneath the blankets so he could hold Loki.

 

“I’m so sorry – are you okay?” he asked to the boy who was shivering so horribly in his arms.

 

The tremors were enough answer, so Tony just squeezed him tighter.

 

It took several minutes before Loki finally stopped shivering and was able to breathe normally against Tony’s chest.

 

“I’m never coming out here with you again,” he threatened breathlessly as he tried to nudge the edge of the blanket further up his neck to cover more skin.

 

Tony laughed before he realized something. “Oh – you know what? There’s a quilt in my car that I keep meaning to take into my dorm-”

 

“Well then get it!” Loki practically screamed at him before climbing off so he could. He furrowed himself in the blankets again as Tony hopped out to retrieve it.

 

It wasn’t a very thick quilt, but it would go nicely on top of them and keep their blanket burrito in tact.

 

This time, when Tony laid out the big blanket again, Loki laid so his back was pressed against his partner’s chest and their heads were almost next to each other. Then, together, they assembled the rest of the blankets before relaxing underneath them.

 

Once they were settled, Tony did the same thing as last time and put his arms underneath the blanket to wrap around Loki’s naked waist.

 

He really didn’t intend anything sexual by it, although it certainly excited him to be holding Loki so intimately, but mostly he didn’t want the other boy to be _cold_.

 

They laid like that for about five minutes – when the meteor shower started.

 

It was incredible, every fifteen seconds or so comets would shoot across the sky – brilliant and fleeting.

 

“Oh, _wow,_ ” Loki breathed.

 

Tony squeezed him tighter. “What was that about never coming out here with me again?” he teased.

 

“Make a wish,” Loki instructed as he relaxed into the embrace.

 

“What?”

 

“When you see a shooting star you have to make a wish,” Loki replied, like Tony was an idiot.

 

“Do I make one for every meteor I see? ‘cuz that’s a lot of wishes,” Tony reasoned.

 

Loki nudged him with his elbow. “We get a lot of freebies for suffering through the cold,” he responded grumpily before pulling the blankets further over them.

 

Tony’s brows furrowed in concentration as he thought about what he might wish for. He wanted lots of things: for Loki to break up with dickhead, for his roommate to stop leaving his gym clothes on the floor, for the students he had to share his lab with to stop touching his things, for Loki to leave Fandral again, for no more homework, some more dumping Fandral…

 

Normally he would have wished for all of those things, but laying here in the back of his convertible, watching a meteor shower out where it felt like he and Loki were the only two people in the world while he got to hold Loki like this – it was hard to wish for anything more.

 

It wouldn’t be tonight, but Loki would come back here with Tony; and underneath the stars, wrapped in blankets, they would have their first real kiss.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: :3 thank you for reading!


	10. The Parents, Thanksgiving, and A Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets Loki's parents, joins them for Thanksgiving dinner, and Loki's life falls apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was edited somewhat hastily… so I apologize in advance for errors. 
> 
> I have the most wonderful readers in the world. You are all amazing! Thank you for the reviews, the follows, the messages, the questions, the interest, the sexual tension and the love. 
> 
> Oh, also, once again: I’m sorry in advance.

oooooooo

 

Tony wanted to make a good impression. He had put on a _clean_ , button up shirt, showered, sprayed some cologne on and picked up a coffee for his partner before heading over toward the stadium to meet up with Loki.

 

Natasha and Pepper were sitting this game out, since Loki would have people to sit with, which meant that it would be just the four of them – and Tony was _so excited_.

 

But also _so fucking nervous_.

 

He had never met a partner’s (or interested partner’s) parents before, and while he was excellent at schmoozing and charming his way into people’s hearts, he imagined it worked differently with a person you had feelings for.

 

As he ascended the steps toward their usual spot, he could see the family sitting together. Odin, the miserable grump, looked kind of _scary_. His clothes were simple enough: tan slacks, a long sleeve shirt and what could only be described as a ‘dad sweater’ – but he sported this _mane_ of white hair and this full beard and mustache – and he had a fucking eye patch?! What was this shit?!

 

Frigga, on the other hand, looked warm and loving as she squeezed Loki’s hand and gushed to him about something. Tony actually paused for a moment (blocking the flow of foot traffic) so he could admire the way Loki’s mother fawned over him as she kept stroking her baby’s hair and gesturing emphatically as she held onto his hand.

 

When she spotted Tony approaching, she gave an excited cry and stood up, pushing Loki out of the way. “You must be Tony!” she exclaimed as she pulled him into a hug.

 

Tony had to maneuver his arm so he didn’t spill the coffee and tried to hug her back with his free arm. “Nice to meet you,” he laughed back as she embraced him.

 

When she pulled back she kept her hands on his arms and looked him over with kind eyes and a warm smile. “It is _lovely_ to meet you, Tony. Loki has said wonderful things about you,” she said fondly.

 

“I really haven’t,” Loki grumbled beside them.

 

His mother playfully scowled and swatted at her son before turning a bit so Loki’s father was revealed. “This is my husband, Odin,” she said in a warning tone so that her spouse would get off his ass and politely greet Tony.

 

The man stood up and reached out his hand for Tony to shake as he just nodded at him before sitting down again. Apparently that was all Tony was going to get.

 

Frigga scowled again as she took her seat and leaned around Loki so she could talk to her son’s partner. “Now Tony, Loki tells me you come with him to every football game and help cheer on Thor!” she said with that same loving smile that seemed glued to her face.

 

He grinned back before handing Loki the coffee. “Yeah, he’s really good – I’ve actually kind of gotten into the game. Loki still has to explain the rules occasionally, but it’s fun to watch Thor run around,” he replied.

 

“You brought my son coffee? Oh Tony, you are a darling,” she cooed.

 

“It’s only polite, I kept him up pretty late last night.”

 

He realized what he was saying as the words were coming out of his mouth but it was too late to stop them.

 

Her eyebrows shut up as Tony scrambled to explain himself. “I – I – I mean, oh my god, no – I had to observe the meteor shower last night for a class and I made him come. No! – oh my god! Wait –”

 

But Frigga just laughed, a sweet, genuine, amused laugh. “Tony, darling, don’t worry. I am sure I know what you mean,” she said warmly.

 

Loki on the other hand looked like he was going to claw his partner’s eyes out. He was blushing furiously and _glaring_ at Tony as he gripped the cup of coffee like a vice.

 

Tony smiled apologetically and dropped his face into his hands.

 

_So much for making a good impression_.

 

Thank god the drum line chose that moment to start playing and he was spared from any further humiliation, but just as he was beginning to mentally flog himself he felt Frigga reach behind her son to grab Tony’s shoulder.

 

She didn’t look at him, but he could see her smile as she gave him a comforting squeeze before removing her hand and beginning to rub Loki’s back with it.

 

As the team ran onto the field the stadium erupted in screams. There were about three times as many people here today because it was the Homecoming Game, which meant alums who had been pre-gaming were all ready to scream and holler.

 

Tony actually felt pride sweep through him when he spotted Thor and was pleased to be sitting with the family of the team’s star player. Or maybe only he and Loki thought Thor was the star… nope – the screams that were unleashed when the announcer called his name confirmed that.

 

“Oh, look at my baby!” Frigga cried as she beamed at the field. She turned to look at Tony before adding, “He was always bonking his head into things as a child and I would joke that I was going to make him wear a helmet to school,” she shared.

 

He smiled at the story and could just imagine a tiny Thor running around and banging into walls while Loki judged him from a corner somewhere. The idea actually made him laugh out loud and that seemed to please Frigga.

 

The game was kind of amazing. Tony and Loki spent half of it screaming their heads off cheering as Thor made play after play and scored point after point. By the time it was over, the oldest Odinson was covered in dirt, sweat and grass stains and he looked so _pleased_ with himself.

 

As the family waited for Thor to go change his clothes and come join them, Frigga rounded on Tony again. “So what are your plans for Thanksgiving?” she asked. “Are you going home on Monday?”

 

Tony sort of awkwardly shrugged at that. Being an orphan meant that he really didn’t _do_ holidays. Last Thanksgiving he had gotten drunk, accidentally started a small fire in the lab in his home and tried to put it out with shampoo. “I really don’t have anything special planned,” he answered.

 

“Whom do you eat dinner with?” she asked as she adjusted her purse and fussed over Loki’s shirt. He must have told her his partner was an orphan.

 

“Myself usually, although this year I might just skip dinner altogether,” he replied in the same awkward way. He sounded so pathetic! But he didn’t want to _lie_.

 

She looked horrified by that. “You eat _by yourself_?! Well, that won’t do. You’ll come to our home and have dinner with us,” she insisted in a very matter-of-fact tone.

 

Odin didn’t seem to be listening, as he was still sweeping his eyes over the field, clearly waiting for Thor – but Loki turned to his mother with a surprised look.

 

“Really?” Tony asked, very unsure of himself as she nodded vigorously. “That would…that would be amazing, thank you,” he grinned.

 

Loki smirked at him. “But we’re all vegans,” he said very seriously.

 

Tony knew better, but the immediate reaction of horror must have registered on his face because Loki started laughing. “Very funny, punk,” Tony said fondly.

 

Frigga smiled as she looked between the two boys. “If you’ll excuse me Tony, I believe I can see my son, but it was _lovely_ to meet you and I will see you next week!” she exclaimed happily as she shook his hand a final time before hurrying off to meet Thor who was walking out of the entrance to the locker rooms.

 

Odin simply nodded at him again as he passed by and went to join his wife.

 

Loki remained, though, and smirked at Tony again. “I told you she would like you,” he said.

 

The engineer grinned at that. “Does she normally invite friends to spend holidays with your family?” he asked, wanting to make sure he knew what was up before he got too excited.

 

But his partner actually looked a bit surprised and shook his head. “Actually, no. She usually has a pretty strict _family only_ policy, so that Thor can’t bring his girlfriends over,” he replied.

 

Aw, hell yeah. Tony grinned, pleased with himself. “It must have been all that talk about keeping you up late and making you come,” he teased as Loki glared at him. “I must have made an _astounding_ impression.”

 

Snow White just continued glaring until his smile cracked the angry look. “You’re an idiot,” he said, but with no real trace of malice. “I have to go say goodbye to my parents, they’re going back home in a few minutes,” he mumbled, but before leaving, added, “Do you want to get dinner with Thor and the girls in like, an hour?”

 

The warmth that flooded Tony’s heart was unbelievable. His entire body felt simultaneously at peace, and tingled with delight. There was an established group that was going to get dinner together and Tony was part of it.

 

It felt _wonderful_.

 

He nodded his assent and offered to take the empty coffee cup from Loki. “I’ll throw that away,” he offered. “Where should I meet you?”

 

“Just pick me up outside my dorm in an hour,” he called back as he walked over to his family to give Thor a hug.

 

Tony smiled to himself as he looked at the empty cup.

 

It also tickled him _to death_ that Fandral was not invited.

 

oooooooo

 

When Tony texted Loki the night before Thanksgiving, asking what time he should be there and if he should bring anything, he was instructed to come over in the morning to he could help cook. Then he received another text a few minutes later saying that Frigga insisted Tony _not_ be forced to help cook, and that was followed up with another text saying:

 

**_If you don’t help me cook I’m not letting you eat._ **

 

So at ten a.m. the next morning, Tony arrived at the Odinson household with a Pecan pie and a bottle of wine for Loki’s parents.

 

He was very impressed by their house, and that was speaking as someone who lived in a mansion. It was… _semi-modest_ , clearly in a good neighborhood surrounded by equally lovely homes with well-manicured lawns that were probably tended to by a gardener. There’s was a two story, relatively new looking home, with a sidewalk lined with flowers and porch with an actual porch swing on it. Tony paused his walk up to the home to stare at that swing and imagined sitting there with Loki; holding hands and looking for fireflies.

 

When he finally came to stand outside the door he could hear lots of noise coming from inside. There was muffled music playing and the sound of people singing along loudly. He rang the bell once and hoped they would actually be able to hear it. Standing outside people’s doors is awkward.

 

Thor answered the door, happy and smiling as ever. He was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a t-shirt that looked covered in stains and food – probably from cooking (Tony hoped). “Tony!” he greeted brightly as he stepped aside to let the engineer in. “Happy Thanksgiving! How are you?”

 

The shorter man smiled back as he looked around the space. “Happy Thanksgiving, Thor. Hey I don’t know if your family its pecan pie or…” he began as he held out his offerings.

 

The blond’s face lit up again. “Oh Loki and my mom will eat the crap out of this,” he replied as he took it from Tony’s hands. “And you brought wine? I’ll give this to my mom, she will be thrilled!”

 

So far, Tony just wanted to _eat_ this house it was so cute. There were pictures _everywhere_ of the family, especially the boys, and Tony decided he could spare a few minutes to admire them before he went and found Loki.

 

Right in the entryway, above a small table holding mail and keys, was a family photo that must have been taken more than a decade ago (based on how small the brothers were). Odin, with the same scary, white mane, stood in the back with one hand on his wife’s shoulder and one hand on Thor’s; Frigga stood in front of him, beaming with her 90’s hair and faded red lipstick, with one hand holding her husband’s and the other placed on Thor’s other shoulder; Thor, was a beautiful, blond child with bright blue eyes and a smile so big he must have been thinking of puppies. His arms were wrapped tightly around his little brother, who was –

 

_The cutest fucking little kid ever_.

 

Loki didn’t look like the rest of his family, with their fair hair and warm complexions, but his smile looked just like Thor’s. His wide, green eyes were lit up and his mouth was open like the picture had been taken mid-laugh. Perhaps Thor had said something funny or just tickled Loki’s side, whatever the case had been it was a happy moment forever captured in a photo and it gave Tony feels.

 

He made his way toward the kitchen, following the smell of food and the sound of music, deciding that he would look at the rest of the photos later when he had Loki with him to explain the stories behind them.

 

In about a year or so, when he would try to recall the first time he knew he was in _love_ with Loki, he would recall this moment: when he stepped into their kitchen for the first time and saw Loki and his mother dancing and singing as they cooked dinner together.

 

Mother and son were facing the counter as Frigga mashed cranberries with her hands and Loki looked like he was stirring something. They were both shaking their butts to the music, _Hall & Oates’ ‘You Make My Dreams Come True’_, and singing along loudly. When they reached “yeah, yeah well you,” they both turned and pointed at each other and sang “you make my dreams come true!” to one another as though it were a rehearsed dance they knew.

 

Tony’s heart fell right out of his body and melted into a puddle on the floor.

 

“Hey, Potter,” he greeted, because as much as he wanted to just watch the display in front of him the longer he stood there without saying anything the more likely it was that Loki would beat him to death when he _did_ spot him.

 

As predicted, Loki whipped around with a blush on his cheeks and immediately ceased his dancing. Frigga, on the other hand, turned around with an “oh!” of surprise and immediately cried out, “Oh, Tony! I’m so glad you could make it!” before coming over and giving him a hug with her elbows since her hands were covered in the cranberries. “Happy Thanksgiving!” she greeted before notching the volume way, way down on the speakers and turning back toward her food.

 

“Happy Thanksgiving Mrs.-”

 

“Oh no, no please call me Frigga,” she insisted. “’Mrs.’ makes me feel old,” she said over her shoulder to him. “Can I get you anything to snack on?”

 

Tony, who was marveling over being asked to call her by her first name while he looked around their kitchen, shook himself out of his daze and said, “Oh, no thank you I’m fine. Can I help with the cooking?”

 

“Are you sure? I can get you something to drink? And don’t be shy about asking for or accepting food because I will pester you about it,” she said as she went to the sink to wash her hands.

 

He laughed and grinned at Loki who was smirking at whatever he was stirring. “I promise I’m fine, but thank you. Really, though, can I help?” he asked as he looked around the counter at all of the food preparation. It looked like chaos with food spills (which he was going to blame on Thor), bowls and baking pans and one – _oh my god that’s a_ _big ass turkey_.

“Well, if you want to help Loki with the desert the dough for the sweet bread needs to be kneaded and the pie crust needs to be rolled,” she answered sweetly as she moved to collect his necessary cookware. “It’s already made, just knead it a bit – yes just like that – and here’s rolling pin, here let’s put some flower on this baking sheet so it doesn’t stick, and there we go! If you boys will excuse me just for a moment I’m going to go return a call to my sister,” she said with a smile before squeezing Loki’s arm and departing the kitchen.

 

Tony grinned at his partner as he kneaded the dough. “You know you and your mom are fucking adorable, right?” he teased.

 

“Shut up,” Loki said as he rolled his eyes. “You’re kneading the dough wrong,” he commented with a little too much haughtiness for someone who was just caught shaking his butt to _Hall & Oates_.

 

“How could I possibly be doing it wrong?! It’s just rubbing dough,” Tony grumbled as he stepped back so Loki could show him the ‘correct way’.

 

“First, make a ball with it and you press like _this_ ,” Loki demonstrated as he placed his palm on top of the ball and rolled forward instead of breaking it apart a lot like Tony had been doing. He removed his hands and gestured toward the ball so his partner could try again.

Tony flattened it like a pancake.

 

“ _NO._ You roll your hand forward,” Loki said with a scowl. He reassembled the dough into a ball again and physically placed Tony’s palm on top of it and then – by the grace of god – placed his own hand on top of that. “Now _knead_ it, don’t squash it,” he explained as he rolled their hands forward together.

 

Tony briefly considered squashing it again so that Loki would have to keep semi holding his hand, but Thor chose that moment to enter the kitchen.

 

“Loki I cannot find the silver polish,” he declared as he went over to pluck a roll from a bag on the counter.

 

The younger of the brothers just cocked an eyebrow. “And naturally you assume that I’m hoarding it in my bedroom?” he sassed before going back to stirring his pie filling.

 

Thor laughed and almost choked on his roll. “I just wondered if you knew where it was. Mother really wants to use the good silver,” he said before turning to Tony and grinning. “I think she’s showing off for you.”

 

Um, fuck yeah.

 

But Loki just shrugged. “Sorry, Thor, I haven’t seen it. It might be in father’s office,” he suggested.

 

Thor made a face at that. “Alright I’ll look there,” he grumbled before departing again.

 

“What’s wrong with your father’s office?” Tony asked curiously as he continued to lay the surprisingly gentle smack down on the dough.

 

Loki, without looking up from his stirring, smiled mischievously at that. “Did your father have an office in your home when you were growing up?” he asked.

 

“Ah, say no more,” Tony replied.

 

Yes, he father did used to have an office and it was like a quarantined _section_ of the house. Tony was  not supposed to be there – ever. Maybe fathers build rooms like that on purpose, so that their sons will grow to fear them.

 

“How do I know when it’s ready to be baked?” he asked as he examined the dough in his hands.

 

Loki stopped to examine it. “I think it’s ready. Here I’ll take it,” he said as he lifted the dough and went to put it in the proper baking pan. “Can you roll the pie crust?” he called over his shoulder.

 

“I can roll the shit out of some pie crust,” he whispered back. When Loki slowly turned around to look at him with a raised eyebrow Tony waved the rolling pin at him playfully.

 

“Are you drunk?” Loki asked as he put the dough away to turn into bread.

 

“Yes.”

 

Loki laughed and gave him a look. “I thought you wanted to impress my parents,” he teased as he pulled open a bag of potatoes.

 

“Drunk people tell the best jokes,” Tony reasoned, half seriously, as he rolled the dough.

 

“Only if they’re telling them to other drunk people,” Loki countered as he began peeling the potatoes. “Do you know what to do with the crust with your done?” he asked.

 

Tony just pursed his lips and shook his head, so Loki once again ceased his movement and came over to help. Once the crust had been crimped and the filling had been poured in, Loki put the pie in the oven and went back to his potatoes. “You want to help me with this?” he said as more of a command then a question.

 

But Tony obliged all the same. He grabbed another peeler sitting on the counter and helped Loki shred the skins into a trashcan. “So what kinds of Thanksgiving traditions does your family have?” he posed before putting a freshly skinned potato in the bowl Loki was putting his in and grabbing another.

 

His partner hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I always make a pie and Thor always eats it,” he answered before grabbing another potato. “We always say what we are thankful for, my father and my brother watch an NFL game…” he continued.

 

Tony grinned. “And do you always dance with your mother while you cook?”

 

Loki looked like he might swipe at Tony with the potato peeler. “It’s something we’ve done ever since I was very young,” he replied quietly, and Tony noticed the blush that crept up on his cheeks again.

 

“That is too cute,” he commented. “Little baby Loki in here dancing with his mommy while they bake pie?”

 

Loki glared at him, but with too much of an amused twinkle in his eyes for Tony to actually fear for his life. “I told you my mother and I are close,” he growled.

 

Tony just smiled at him. “How many of these do we need to peel?” he asked as he put another potato away and shook out his hand so it wouldn’t cramp.

 

“The whole bag, tough guy,” Loki mocked.

 

They were jokingly snarling at each other when Frigga came back in the room. “Sorry for the delay boys, I had to go find the silver polish for your brother,” she said to Loki as she opened the fridge and began pulling things out.

 

Tony accidentally let out a laugh at that and Frigga gave him a knowing smile. “He can be hopeless. Oh, Loki you are just too cute when you smile!” she exclaimed as she put down the food and came over to pinch her son’s cheek. “My sweet, little, baby boy,” she cooed as though she were talking to an infant or an animal before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Isn’t he cute, Tony?”

 

His heart might have stopped altogether and his eyes widened, but he caught himself quickly and assumed a casual face as he replied, “Eh, he’s okay,” with a teasing grin.

 

She playfully scoffed and swatted at his arm. “He’s adorable. I have exceptionally cute sons,” she said lovingly before returning to her food preparations.

 

Tony wanted to agree, but at the risk of sounding like a weirdo he kept his opinions to himself and just laughed.

 

She turned the music back up, and though Loki was probably reticent to do so, he resumed his dancing.

 

That was how it went for the next several hours: cooking in the kitchen, listening to music and dancing with Frigga occasionally stopping to get the boys to taste something and check its deliciousness. Thor and his father were already set up in the living room watching the football game, and though Frigga asked Tony if he wanted to join them, he politely declined saying that he didn’t give a crap about football unless Thor was playing.

 

He genuinely wasn’t trying to impress her when he said that, but the way she beamed at him said it for her.

 

Once everything had been either wrapped up to stay warm or was cooking in the oven, and what could be cleaned of the dishes and counters had been, Frigga opened up a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass. “Tony, would you like one?” she said offering hers to him.

 

He was never one to turn down alcohol, but when your ~~boy~~ friend’s mother asks if you want some wine it feels like a test. He politely shook his head and thanked her anyway as he finished washing his hands.

 

“Loki, why don’t you give Tony a tour?” she suggested brightly. “Show him how cute your bedroom is!”

 

Loki scowled at that before turning to his partner. “Do you want a tour?” he asked in what was probably attempt at bitterness.

 

The engineer nodded vigorously and winked at Frigga before following Loki out of the kitchen.

 

“This is the dining room,” Loki said as they stepped into a beautiful space with a long, wooden table covered in a clean white tablecloth and set with elegant silver and flatware. There was an ornate China cabinet against one wall, filled with expensive looking dishes, and another glass cabinet on the wall next to it filled with different drinking glasses with decorative designs. There were two giant paintings on the wall of beautiful, detailed flowers. “We only really eat dinner in here, otherwise Thor and I usually eat at the kitchen table,” he explained.

 

On the other side of the kitchen was the family room which had two large, plush looking couches and an ornate chair, with throw pillows and fancy blankets draped over the backs. The curtains were a think woven material that could probably serve as blackout if they were not pulled back with gold tassels. There was a glass table on the rug in the center of the sitting areas with some coffee table books on it, and a bar in the corner with a very stuffed wine rack.

 

“You have a bar?” Tony asked as he moved over to inspect it.

 

Loki sighed. “There’ s another one on the patio, too,” he mumbled. “My mom entertains her friends her a lot and they like cocktails.”

 

Tony wanted to go through every bottle of liquor here, but he was also eager to see Loki’s bedroom.

 

“You sort of saw the living room when you walked in, and there’s a downstairs guestroom and a second bathroom down that hallway,” Loki pointed as he guided Tony toward the stairs. “The bedrooms are all up here,” he began explaining, obviously not noticing that Tony had stopped to look at pictures.

 

It had to have been taken recently, the brothers looked about the same age maybe a year or two younger than they were now. Thor had his arms wrapped around Loki’s waist from behind and it looked like he was lifting him up and spinning him around while they both laughed. Right next to it was a formal picture of Thor, by himself, wearing a suit with his hair a bit shorter. He had a cheeky grin and the lighting brought out the tanned glow in his cheeks as he beamed for the camera. Next to his picture was the thing Tony really couldn’t get his eyes off of.

 

Much like Thor’s beside it, Loki was by himself and wearing a suit, but his hair was longer, curling a bit lower past his ears than it did now. His skin had that same porcelain glow and his green eyes were so bright and wide as he smiled shyly for the camera. He looked _so handsome_ …

 

Tony needed a copy of this picture.

 

“Oh, ugh,” Loki groaned when he finally noticed what his partner was distracted by. “Those are our high school graduation photos,” he explained as he walked back down the stairs to stand next to Tony. After a moment of his partner just staring at it and saying nothing, he asked, “What…”

 

Without taking his eyes off of the photo, Tony answered, “This is a great picture of you.”

 

Loki blinked at him. “Very funny, you ass. Now come on, this tour offer will expire,” he replied as he headed back up the stairs.

 

The landing at the top was a small space with a large window (featuring similar curtains as downstairs), with a tiny couch and an entertainment center with a large television and lots of DVD’s. There was a mini fridge on one side of it and a large potted plant on the other. Next to the couch was a small end table and the other end of the couch had a floor lamp next to it. There was soft white carpet, instead of a rug, and a brown wooden coffee table in front of it.

 

“Thor and I used to watch movies in here a lot as kids,” Loki explained as Tony stepped into the space. “It made it easy for our mother or my nanny to supervise us,” he added.

 

Tony was surprised at that. “You had a nanny?” he asked as he inspected the DVD collection.

 

Loki nodded. “That’s where my weird accent comes from. I had a British nanny until I was five, because I got sick a lot as a baby and my mother was home alone with both of us. I was also homeschooled until first grade because of it,” he mumbled as he gazed at a picture on the wall.

 

“I’ve always wondered about that, because it doesn’t sound completely British… but there’s definitely something,” Tony commented as he tore his eyes away from the entertainment center.

 

Loki smiled. “It’s because I was raised by, and learned to speak in both accents,” he clarified.

 

Tony nodded. “Cute. Now I know why you say “sahndwich” instead of “syandwich,” he teased.

 

His partner rolled his eyes at him. “Down that hallway is my father’s office and those double doors are my parent’s bedroom, but you don’t need to go in there, and down here,” he said as he walked down the hallway, “This room used to be the playroom when Thor and I were children.”

 

Now it sported exercise equipment in front of a television. “My mother turned it into a gym when we reached high school,” he explained before continuing down the hallway. “This is Thor’s room, but don’t go in there – it smells,” he warned.

 

Tony respectfully stood outside the door and observed it from there. It looked very messy, which was surprising since the break had only begun a few days earlier. “Okay, now show me your room,” he ordered with a cheerful smile.

 

Loki scowled at him and shut his brother’s door before turning to his own. “Don’t break anything,” he warned to his partner before letting them in.

 

As he expected, Loki’s room was neat and clean. His little bed was made, and Tony noticed that the green blanket from school had been brought home for the break, his desk was organized and there were not clothes strewn all over the floor like in his brother’s room. The most impressive thing, though, was the floor to ceiling bookcase that was completely stuffed with books. Novels, textbooks, manga, classics, and all kinds of literature filled the shelves. Thor’s bookshelf had been stuffed with tchotchkes and miscellaneous crap – but Loki was all about the reading.

 

Tony went to admire his selection as Loki moved to check his phone, which was charging on his desk next to his laptop.

 

 When he heard Loki sigh he turned back and raised an eyebrow. “Are you expecting a call from someone? Natasha?” he asked before plucking a manga from the shelf and leafing through it.

 

Loki chewed the inside of his lip awkwardly. “I thought I might hear from Fandral,” he muttered dejectedly, more to himself than to answer Tony’s question.

 

_Be there for him as a friend_.

 

Tony gave him a sympathetic look and replaced the manga. “You will, it’s still pretty early,” he said, even though trying to defend that smarmy letch made him want to vomit all over Loki’s bed – and that wouldn’t go over well.

 

Loki smiled at him for a moment, before dropping his gaze again. “You want to go drink with my mom?” he asked quietly.

 

“Well if you’re going to then hell yeah,” Tony replied enthusiastically as he followed Loki back downstairs.

 

oooooooo  
  
Dinner was delicious. Thor had eaten all of Loki’s pie, thank goodness Tony had brought another, and even attempted to finish the turkey by himself after the meal was over. As Loki had promised, they had all been instructed to go around the table and say what they were thankful for, including Tony. The charmer had actually said, _“I’m so thankful to be here to share this holiday with your family,”_ and Loki was almost certain Frigga would have traded in him or Thor for Tony as a son at that moment.

 

Thor had recalled the details of the football game, not that anyone _cared_ , but the three cooks just smiled and nodded patiently as they munched on their elaborate feast.

 

Tony had stayed for a while after dinner to watch the traditional cheesy movie with Frigga and her sons while Odin smoked a cigar on the patio (this year it was _Dracula: Dead and Loving It!_ ). His partner had been impressed by the way the family knew all of the lines and quoted them to each other throughout the film. Afterwards, Tony had gone back into Loki’s room to go through his things, the way Loki did in his lab, while they chatted for a while, and around ten p.m. he had hugged Loki’s mother, Thor and tickled Loki (like a punk) and then headed back home.

 

Frigga had invited him to stay the night but Loki could tell that Tony was wary of over staying his welcome, although it really wouldn’t have been a big deal. The rest of the family’s evening plans included potential eating more and then digesting it like slugs. His father also told him he needed to sign his new health insurance card, but that would take five seconds.

 

That’s where Loki was now, though, waiting for his father in the scary office.

 

It was a rather impressive and imposing room with leather furniture, floor to ceiling bookshelves stuffed with ornate encyclopedias and a number of decorative antiques (like a globe that he and Thor had once knocked over as children. It was a mark of how little the objects actually _mattered_ to their father that he had never turned the globe and seen the scuff marks).

 

It was an exciting room as a child because they were forbidden to go in it (see the globe incident) and so it always held an air of mystery and terror. Now, as a young adult, Loki could enter the room without fear of consequence, as he had instructed Thor to do earlier, but still avoided it on principle. It was still a room he expected to be punished in.

 

Loki absentmindedly ran his fingers over the edge of the globe until he felt the area that had been damaged all those years ago. The memory brought a small smile to his lips as he lightly thumbed the scratches.

 

One thing he did like about the room was sitting in his father’s chair. As a child he and Thor would sneak in and pretend they were kings sitting on a throne when they sat there. They would take turns wearing an ornate bowl of their mother’s on their heads as a crown and ordering each other around. The one time their mother caught them in the act she thought it was the cutest thing in the world, and there were photos to prove it.

 

Why not do it again for old time’s sake?

 

Loki grinned excitedly to himself as he walked around the desk to sit in the chair.

 

_Oh yeah, that’s the stuff_.

 

He frowned at the room, pretending to be his father, and then laughed at how foolish he was before slowly spinning it around.

 

His ankle caught on an open file cabinet behind the desk, and as he loudly swore and grabbed the injured area he noticed that there was a rather thick file in the cabinet titled _Loki_.

 

It was probably too much to hope for that it contained any pictures he had drawn for his father as a child, but he decided to look anyway; quickly though, before his father could catch him.

 

As predicted, it was mostly school and medical records that he sifted through with the occasional bank statement. He sighed and flipped the other end open, since it seemed to be organized chronologically, to search for pictures.

 

Ooh, his birth certificate!

 

He smiled at the piece of paper and then looked to the one in front of it.

 

_The child adopted by **Odin**_ –

 

Hold up.

 

Loki shook his head. He must be seeing things.

 

_Hereby state on this date: **May 11 th, 1993 **that **Loki Odinson** is the child adopted by –_

His heart had stopped beating.

 

He was adopted.

 

The whole world froze in that moment and he felt like he was falling even as he sat there, completely lost for breath. His brain could not make sense of what he was seeing, of what the hell this certificate was telling him.

 

He had spent his entire life being Odin and Frigga’s son and Thor’s little brother. He was part of _their family_. This had to be a joke or something; some weird gag gift that his father kept because it was so well forged and looked so dated because…

 

Loki didn’t notice that his breathing had become ragged and he had started to shake as his brain whirled and his stomach churned. His father chose that moment to walk into the office saying, “The cards are just on my desk somewhere – Loki, are you all right?”

 

But he wasn’t all right. He wasn’t even _kind_ of all right. “What is this?” he choked out on a whisper as he held up the certificate.

 

His father frowned at him. “I’ve told you not to go through my things-” he started before he realized what Loki was holding. “Oh…” his father closed his mouth and immediately his entire demeanor changed. His eyebrows furrowed and he shifted uncomfortably as he looked back at the door as though someone was going to burst through it and make everything okay.

 

“What. Is. This.” Loki repeated, this time with anger.

 

“Loki, you have to understand-” his father started.

 

“Understand what?! Is this real or not!” he screamed, somewhat surprised by his own volume and intensity. He had _never_ spoken to his father like this before; he had never had reason too…

 

Odin paused and looked over his child with a sad expression before taking a deep breath. “It’s real,” he answered solemnly.

 

Everything inside Loki cracked at that moment. The spine of his psyche snapped in two as a flood of emotions completely overtook him. He felt hot and cold all at once, like he was sweating and shivering as he tried desperately to catch his breath. There was a roaring of white noise and it felt like if he listened closely enough he could _hear_ his heart shattering into a million little pieces. He physically _couldn’t handle_ all of the things going through him at this moment as each feelings attempted to take control of him; rage, despair, confusion, _hopelessness_ …

 

This fucking couldn’t be happening. It had to be a joke. Please daddy, come over here, pick me up and tell me it was a cruel trick and that I am your son. Please tell me you haven’t been lying to me my entire life. Please, please, _please_ don’t tell me I’m an outsider in the one place I’m supposed to call home.

 

Odin took a step forward toward Loki and the teen felt everything crash again.

 

“You lied to me!” he screamed as he stood up and threw the folder down. All of his years of repressed anger and pain began oozing out of him, curling along his mind and infecting his tendency towards dramatics. This was all worse than it had to be because he was a pressurized missile just waiting to go off on his father. He had never been able to talk to him about being treated differently than Thor, or how he felt like his father didn’t _like_ him and only love him out of a sense of paternal obligation. He never got to have an honest conversation about their relationship because he never felt like he _could_.

 

“Loki-” his father tried again.

 

“Why?! Why would you let me live my entire life without telling me!?” he shouted as hot, angry tears began to roll down his cheeks. “And what if I hadn’t found this?” he hissed, “Would you have kept it to yourself forever?!”

 

Frigga burst into the room a second later. “I heard shouting – oh, Loki, baby what’s wrong?” she asked, her entire expression shifting from the concerned housemate to the protective parent as she moved forward to comfort her crying child.

 

He didn’t say anything to her, just held up the certificate and glared.

 

She stopped right in her tracks and her hands flew up to cover her mouth as she let out a tiny cry. She looked over Loki’s face for a moment and took a deep breath before pulling both of her hands to her heart and trying to console him once more. “Loki, we were going to tell you-”

 

“Oh really?! What when I graduated college?” he spat sarcastically with as much venom as he felt. “Thought you would wait a few more years to really _make it sting!?_ ”

 

Tears appeared in her eyes as her bottom lip trembled. “Loki, you are our son, you’re my baby-” she started.

 

“Oh? Because this says otherwise!” he screamed at her, violently whipping the accursed piece of paper next to him.

 

“That certificate says that we are your parents!” she sobbed.

 

“This certificate says that you are liars!”

 

Frigga dropped her head into her hands and started sobbing in earnest now as Odin moved up from behind to comfort her. Clearly they were both unprepared for this moment because neither of them could think of anything to say as his mother cried and his father just stared at him.

 

“Is this why you’ve always favored Thor?” he asked shakily as his bottom lip quivered and he stared right back at his father. “Why, no matter what I did, I could never measure up to him?” he choked out as his voice cracked.

 

Frigga looked up with a horrified expression. “Loki, we love you both equally, you have to believe-”

 

“I believe you always have mother,” Loki interrupted in a much softer tone, because even in his rage he hated to see his mother cry. “But him?” he continued, gesturing to the man he had been raised to call his father, “He has _never_ treated me as anything more than a financial burden that he happens to be _raising_!” he shouted.

 

Thor chose that moment to run into the room, much the same was his mother had. “What’s going on?” he asked frantically as he spotted his mother sobbing and Loki’s crying, shaking frame.

 

“Loki found his adoption papers,” Odin answered quietly over his wife’s muffled sobbing.

 

“Oh…”

 

Loki didn’t think it was possible to feel worse than he already did, but somehow that did the trick.

 

For a moment, the rage and the pain evaporated and he was left with this chillingly _evil_ feeling that threatened to drown him. He completely froze his trembling body as he slowly turned just his head to Thor with a psychotic look in his eyes as his upper lip started to curl.

 

“Oh?” he repeated in a deadly tone.

 

It was the first time his family had ever been afraid of him, including Thor, and none of them could find a way to respond as they stood there huddled together – this pack of _liars_ he was supposed to call his kin.

 

Thor realized his mistake and after a few moments of Loki glaring at them like he was going to start stabbing everybody he began sputtering. “Loki- I – I was going to tell you, we all were  - it’s – we didn’t, Loki, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry please don’t hate me-”

 

And all the rage crashed right back into him again. “ ** _ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?_** ” he exploded. “You knew – you fucking KNEW!?”

 

Thor, much like his mother, started leaking tears as his lip trembled and he fought for words to make his brother realize that this was not an act of malice, but one of misguided good intentions. “Loki – Loki, please, I’m sorry-”

 

“I have to get out of here,” Loki interrupted as he threw the paper on the desk and moved to get around his family but Thor grabbed his shoulder to try and stop him.

 

“Loki, _please_ -”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

 

The command was given in that same deadly tone, and when there eyes met Loki knew that Thor could feel the same snap that he had before, except this time – it was there relationship breaking.

 

With a final glare to his family, Loki stalked to his room, grabbed his cell phone and his school bag with his keys and then ran back out and down the stairs before anyone could come after him.

 

When he got in his car he didn’t pause or wait to get the key in the ignition and start driving, because he knew that if he let himself sit and think he was going to lose it – he probably shouldn’t even be driving like this anyway.

 

He couldn’t call Natasha, she was in another state, and Fandral probably would care…

 

Loki pulled out his phone and called the one number he could count on.

 

Ringing. Ringing.

 

_“Hey, Princess, you miss me?”_

“Tony, are you at home?” Loki asked, and god did his voice sound wrecked. He hadn’t even realized what his screaming had done to it.

 

_“Holy shit, Loki are you okay?”_

He shook his head as he choked back his tears, even though Tony couldn’t see. “Are you at home?” he asked again, fighting to keep his voice even.

 

_“Yeah, I’m at home. Do you need me to come back over? I can be there-”_

“No, no,” Loki interrupted as he paused to clear his throat and swallow. “Can I come over?” he choked just before his voice broke. He bit the inside of his lip _hard_ and willed himself ‘Do not fucking cry’.

 

_“Of course you can! Do you need me to come get you?”_  Tony asked with a voice full of concern.

 

Loki shook his head for no one again. “No-” he whispered and had to pause to catch his breath as his throat shook from the effort of holding in his sobs. “I’m already on my way.”

 

_“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you while you drive?”_

But he couldn’t. The adoration in Tony’s voice was actually making it so much harder to hold it together. “Nothat’sokay,” he said in one rushed breath before biting his lip again. “I’m gonna go I’ll see you soon,” he said, hanging up before Tony could protest.

 

He turned on the radio at full blast, not caring or listening to what was playing as he tried to control his breathing. It was about a twenty minute drive to Tony’s from his house, and by the time he got there he had actually managed to get his heart rate to calm down to what some might consider ‘normal’.

 

But the moment Tony opened up his door, that feeling of ‘ _I’m safe here’_ absolutely flooded Loki and he broke down right there on Tony’s doorstep.

 

Not half a second later and he was being swept into a tight embrace and felt strong arms wrap around him as the smell of Tony’s cologne filled his senses.

 

Loki sobbed and choked onto the engineer’s shirt, not saying a word as he gasped for air. He no longer cared about holding back or holding it in – he just let loose on Tony and cried while his partner squeezed him.

 

He had no idea how long they stood like that, but it felt like a long time, before he pulled back to look at Tony’s face.

 

Loki was certain that his own must look horrible, with tear-streaked cheeks, red, puffy eyes and a sniffly nose, but the expression on Tony’s face was nothing but love and concern. He had relaxed his grip around Loki so the princess could pull away, but had kept his hands on Loki’s arms as a stabilizer for the boy.

 

“Okay we can go in now,” Loki joked through his tears with a forced smile before he started crying again.

 

Tony took his hand and pulled him inside so he could shut the door, and then guided Loki to the usual couch.

 

Once he was seated, Tony placed his hands on Loki’s shoulders and said quietly, “I’m going to get you some water. I will be right back,” before hurrying to fetch the beverage.

 

Loki just pathetically leaked his tears and sniffled over choke sobs as he waited for his partner to return. Everything hurt, everything _hurt_ so much…

 

When the engineer returned with a bottle of water, Loki accepted it with a weak smile and took a small sip before looking back at Tony’s face and falling to pieces again.

 

Tony immediately moved to sit next to him on the couch and pulled Loki against him so he could hold the boy while he cried.

 

They must have sat like that for _hours_ , and Tony never asked what was wrong, never said ‘it’s going to be all right’, never shushed him or encouraged him to stop crying – just held him tight, rubbed his back soothingly and pressed his lips to the top of Loki’s head and held them there like the world’s longest prelude to a kiss.

 

oooooooo

Long after Loki had cried himself to sleep, without explaining _anything_ , Tony continued to hold his friend and lovingly rub his back. His heart ached to know what was wrong, but it didn’t seem appropriate to ask.

 

When he was sure that Loki was asleep, though it was fitful since he kept hiccupping and sniffling, Tony shifted so he could pick his partner up and carry him to bed. He curled one arm around Loki’s back and maneuvered the other one underneath his knees before lifting him, bridal style, and taking him to his bedroom.

 

Once he had gently deposited the boy on the bed, he tried to pull off Loki’s shoes so he wouldn’t have to sleep with them, but it jostled the boy awake.

 

“Tony?” he asked weakly on his shredded vocal chords.

 

“Hey, you,” Tony whispered as he ceased his movements and placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I’m just taking off your shoes so you can go to sleep, okay? Do you want some pajamas?” he offered before removing the intended articles and depositing them next to the bed.

 

Loki shook his head and sniffled again.

 

“I’m going to let you sleep, okay?” Tony whispered again. “But I’ll get you some more water, first.”

 

“Aren’t you going to stay with me?” Loki asked, sounding like a frightened child.

 

It broke Tony’s heart for the umpteenth time that night. “Of course I am,” he replied as he climbed into bed next to his partner.

 

Once they were both stretched out, Tony grabbed the blanket at the foot of his bed and pulled it over them as Loki curled into his chest again. After Loki was properly tucked in, as much as he could be with Tony’s movements restricted from the body laying against him, he wrapped his arms around Loki’s body and continued rubbing his back.

 

Tomorrow he would wake up and make Loki breakfast again, and then, if Loki wanted to, they could talk about what was troubling him.

 

For tonight, Tony didn’t ask questions or try to fix anything; he just let himself be the anchor that Loki needed.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: :3


	11. An Explanation, A Fuck, and Exposition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frigga explains the reason for lying and Loki learns to hate himself some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It’s a super early update because the contents of this chapter are things I really intended to happen in the last one and everything just got too long and I can’t stop writing. 
> 
> As always, thank you for the love and I want to marry all of you.

oooooooo

 

When Loki woke up the next morning he had fourteen missed calls from his mother, three texts from her, five missed calls from Thor and ten texts from him; the message was the same each time: I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me.

 

But Loki couldn’t forgive them. He felt like his entire core had been uprooted inside of him and his whole sense of self was thrown off and loose.

 

He had slept horribly. He woke up what felt like every hour and each time he would wonder where he was, remember what had happened and cry himself back to sleep.

 

Thank god for Tony. Each time he woke, the engineer was right there to hold him and coax him back into slumber by gently rubbing his back and letting him sob all over his shirt.

 

Now, in the light of morning, Loki remembered that he had made plans with Thor to go Black Friday shopping in bizarre stores and felt a pang of guilt for blowing off his brother, before a horrible thought curled around him.

 

_He’s not your brother_.

 

Everything ached; his head, his heart, his stomach – even his eyes were so worn out from sobbing and his throat was shredding from screaming and straining during his fits that he felt like he had been hit by a semi truck. The clock next to the bed told him it was seven a.m. ... so he had slept for only five hours or so. He had arrived at Tony’s around eleven the night before and he remembered crying on him for a looong time. Speaking of which…

 

Loki wondered why the engineer was no longer next to him when he caught a whiff of a familiar smell.

 

_Bacon_.

 

He smiled a bit as he stretched out on the bed, popping all of his joints, and willed his body to stop aching. After he literally rolled out of bed, he wandered into the bathroom to splash some water on his face and use the spare toothbrush he kept in Tony’s bottom drawer.

 

But turning on the light was a mistake.

 

He looked _scary._

 

His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and the area underneath had dark rings like he had burst blood vessels from crying so hard. When he leaned closer to the mirror, he noticed the same thing had happened in his right eye and there was a blood spot.

 

Fucking hell.

 

Loki knew it would go away in a few days and that getting actual sleep and drinking water would help – but he didn’t want to walk around like this; looking like some kind of crazed vampire.

 

After he washed his face and brushed his teeth, he turned the light back off and slowly wandered out to meet Tony.

 

The engineer was standing over the stove fixing eggs and was shredding cheese on top of them. There was a stack of buttered toast and a pile of bacon beside him and Loki could smell the freshly made coffee as he entered the kitchen.

 

“Hey,” he called out in his hoarse, abused voice.

 

Tony spun around, startled by the noise (because he sounded like a fucking monster) and immediately his expression softened when he took in the sight before him.

 

In the blink of an eye he had put down the cheese with its grater and stepped forward to hug Loki. He was so warm, and he was wearing the same clothes as the night before so he still smelled like cologne. Loki hugged him back tightly before pulling away and looking down at the ground. He wanted to avoid Tony seeing his eyes and appreciating how _horrible_ he looked.

 

“Do you want some coffee?” Tony asked as he moved around Loki to grab a mug for him.

 

Thank god for Tony. He didn’t ask if Loki was okay, or what happened, or comment on his appearance – just gave him a hug and grabbed him some coffee. What he really needed, though, was tea. “Do you have any tea?” he asked, almost surprised by how horrible his throat sounded.

 

Tony turned around to look at him and Loki made sure to avert his eyes quickly. “Of course! What kind would you like?” he said, abandoning the coffee pot and moving toward the vast pantry.

 

“Earl Grey, please,” Loki responded quietly.

 

The billionaire had one of the faucets that poured boiling water with the press of a button and his tea was done in no time. After adding some milk to it for his partner, Tony instructed him to sit down at the kitchen table before turning back to finish the eggs.

 

Once he had piled food on a plate for Loki he put it down in front of him and ordered, “Eat.”

 

It looked delicious, even the toast, but Loki had no appetite. His stomach was still chewing itself, and in moments of high anxiety he was unlikely to keep food down anyway. He looked up at Tony apologetically and realized it was the first time he’d made eye contact with him all morning.

 

The engineer’s eyes widened a bit and he squared his jaw at the state of Loki’s eyes, but instead of commenting on them he pressed a kiss to his thumb and then touched that thumb to Loki’s eyelid. “Will you try to eat some toast?” he asked as he started work on his own plate.

 

Loki really didn’t feel like it, but he was so touched by Tony’s actions that he picked up a slice and nibbled a bit at the corner, before putting it back down and indulging in his tea. The hot water would ease his throat and tea tended to have a nice, soothing effect on Loki. It was something his mother used to make for him when he got sick or sad as a child.

 

And that memory made his stomach clench again.

 

He felt like he physically could not cry anymore or he would vomit and be forced to claw his eyes out. It made him incredibly frustrated that he still had all of these emotions inside him that he didn’t understand and had no way to express or _get out_. He felt like his brain was itching and he wanting to punch or destroy something and just sob while doing it.

 

His stomach clenched again and he actually doubled over a bit in his chair as the hand not holding his mug moved to grab it, reflexively.

 

“Loki…” Tony started, unsure if he should do anything. But Loki just shook his head, took a few deep breaths and righted himself once more.

 

They sat in silence like that for several minutes, with Tony quietly eating his breakfast and Loki sipping his tea, willing for all the knots in his body to come undone.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said quietly in his gravelly voice.

 

Tony just shrugged. “You don’t have to. We’re just having breakfast,” he replied casually before putting more food in his mouth.

 

Loki looked at him and just let his eyes move over Tony. It was amazing that even in his day old, sleep rumpled clothes with messed up hair and bags under his eyes that he should still look so handsome.

 

God, even that made Loki want to scream in frustration. He shouldn’t be attracted to his partner – he had a boyfriend. What was his brain even doing? Intentionally trying to confuse him and make life _that much more difficult_. It was also embarrassing because he was almost certain that Tony really didn’t look at him that way. Sure, he had called him cute the first time they met and he had wanted to ask out Loki the first time they had dinner, but that was back at the beginning of term and for all Loki knew his partner had just been kidding.

 

Loki felt like some kind of pathetic fuckwad who had the audacity to come over uninvited, cry all over Tony, offer him _zero_ explanation for what was going on then refuse his breakfast and sit at the table lusting after him.

 

He hated himself.

 

Loki swallowed thickly and tried to will his thoughts away, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from the way Tony’s hands were holding his fork.

 

He briefly allowed himself to wonder what it would be like to lace their fingers together when another wave of self-loathing came rolling in.

 

Wasn’t he the jackass who said he wanted to keep things platonic? Oh – and **_he had a fucking boyfriend_**.

 

Speaking of which, Loki couldn’t decide whether or not to call Fandral and tell him about this. He knew he wasn’t going to now, because he needed to sort out his own feelings without his boyfriend’s help, but he wasn’t sure if he would tell him at all. Maybe Fandral would see it as a weakness and he would look at Loki with the same disdain that his father did.

 

That thought settled the matter. Fandral didn’t need to know, and maybe Tony didn’t either. Right now he was the only friend Loki had until Natasha came back into town – and things between him and her were not great anyway.

 

His brother was dead to him.

 

That had actually hurt the most. He could _maybe_ understand why his mother didn’t want to tell him (maybe but not really), and it confirmed so many suspicions about his father’s attitude towards him that in the light of day he felt like he shouldn’t be surprised – but _Thor_? He and Loki told each other _everything_. His big brother was his first best friend. He was the person Loki went to when he had a nightmare or kids were picking on him. He was the first person he told about his crush on Fandral!

 

Everything fucking hurt so badly. His life was crumbling to pieces around him, and the only person he could even _kind_ of depend on was a friend he had known for only a few months that he was inappropriately attracted to.

 

Cue that self-loathing – oh it never went away? Now it’s just twice as strong? Well all right then.

 

“I should probably be going,” Loki mumbled guiltily as he set the empty mug back down on the table.

 

Tony looked up at him with a pout that was probably unintentional. “Are you sure?” he asked seriously, “Because you are more than welcome to stay. Even if you need to be alone you can just hang out here and I’ll go work in my lab or something,” he offered.

 

That actually sounded amazing, and Loki would have loved to just curled under blankets and pretended that the last twelve hours hadn’t happened, but he thought he at least owed his mother – _Frigga_ – the courtesy of knowing that he wasn’t dead. “Thank you, but, I really have to get home,” he mumbled before rising to his feet.

 

Tony made a pained expression. “I’m a phone call away if you need me, okay?” he asked, waiting until Loki looked him in the eye and nodded before collecting their plates.

 

After Loki had acquired his shoes and coat from the bedroom, he returned to the kitchen and awkwardly stood in the doorway. He felt horrible, leaving like this, although now he was starting to think he should not have come over at all and just left Tony alone, so he just sort of choked out, “Thank you, I’ll see you later,” before practically running for the door.

 

He was already gone by the time Tony turned around.

 

oooooooo

 

Loki wasn’t expecting his family to be awake, since it was still pretty early and everyone was on holiday, but when he entered his home he could hear muffled voices. He debated whether or not he should slam the door and startle them all before storming upstairs, but instead chose to shut it quietly so he could listen in on the conversation.

 

As he crept towards the living room he could make out his mother’s voice, and it sounded just as tired and scratchy as his had.

 

_“Thor, stop blaming yourself. This was your father and I’s mistake,”_ she murmured sounding both genuine and defeated.

 

He could hear his brother sigh. _“I should have told him. We all should have told him. Why didn’t we tell him?!”_ he snarled.

 

_“You know why,”_ his mother replied sadly.

 

Loki chose that moment to round the corner, ever the diva making his entrance. “I would like to know why,” he said quietly.

 

His mother gasped at the sudden noise and gasped again once she saw Loki’s face. “Darling, what happened? Are you alright?” she fussed as she began to get up to come over to him.

 

She and Thor had clearly been crying. They were seated on the couch in the family room next to each other looking worse for the wear. Thor was still in the same clothes as the night before and his hair looked horrible, and Frigga was wearing a bathrobe and looked like she had slept with her makeup and hair still done… or based on her eyes she didn’t sleep at all.

 

Loki put up a hand to stop her from standing, and moved to the large chair across from them. He wanted as much space as possible, and would have preferred to stay standing to establish his disdain for the whole situation, but he was exhausted and his stomach was still cramping something fierce. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he repeated, secretly pleased that they could hear how horrible he sounded.

 

Frigga looked at both of her sons and sat back down onto the couch, looking very uncomfortable. “Would you rather have breakfast first, sweetheart? Or a shower – I could make you some tea-”

 

Loki held up a hand to silence her again. “I would like to know why you have spent the last nineteen years lying to me about something that seems pretty crucial,” he hissed. If he let his mom make him tea then she was going to give him cookies and start rubbing his back and he was going to get distracted and fall asleep. It would ruin the persona he was currently rocking.

 

She chewed her lip and Loki saw tears gather in her eyes. “Darling, first of all, I never wanted to lie to you. I wanted to tell you from the time you were old enough to understand-”

 

“But you didn’t, so that really doesn’t matter,” Loki interrupted, still staring at her unfeelingly.

 

Thor made a face at that, like he was judging Loki for speaking to their mother in such a way, so the wounded boy shot a glare at his brother before returning his attention to his mother.

 

She took a deep breath to calm herself and looked at him very seriously. “You’re right, Loki. I didn’t and I should have and for that I am truly sorry, my love,” she whispered.

 

It hurt him to continue staring without betraying any emotion, because as angry and hurt as he was all he really wanted to do right now was go curl up and cry on her lap until she made all of the pain go away.

 

But he couldn’t. So he just sat there, unblinking with his crazed eyes, and waited for her to answer his question.

 

“We never told you…” she began before pausing, correctly reading his silence, “We never told you because of the circumstances of your adoption.”

 

“The _circumstances_?” he repeated, unsatisfied with that response. “Try to be a bit more vague next time, that was a tad too detailed,” he spat.

 

Frigga winced at his words and looked down at her hands again as she collected her thoughts.

 

Beside her, Thor looked incredibly uncomfortable and kept fidgeting. He had a look on his face like simultaneously wanted to shake Loki and squeeze him to death. Either way it was irritating because he simply didn’t look _guilty_ enough for Loki’s taste.

 

“I suppose it all begins with a former colleague of your father’s…” she began again, slowly. “He was a foreign diplomat that your father had worked and met with a few times over the course of his career.”

 

Loki just blinked at her to continue as his brother shifted some more.

 

“Well, one year, he got…” she hesitated and looked apologetically at her son, “a prostitute pregnant.”

 

Ah, lovely – a bastard child on top of everything else.

 

“Well, he couldn’t keep you and he was worried about the woman trying to use you against him later in his political career… so your father offered to adopt you,” she said, trying to keep her voice under control and keep herself from crying.

 

Loki couldn’t believe that. “He _offered_ to adopt me?! Am I a dog?!” he scowled.

 

She made a pained face. “Loki, the situation sounds horrible but that’s only because it _was_ horrible. Your birth father was a scumbag,” she cried, cringing at her word choice.

 

But Loki wasn’t focusing on his birth father’s shortcomings. “And Odin saw an opportunity to gain political influence with a foreign diplomat,” he hissed. “I’m quite certain he didn’t bring me home out of the _goodness of his heart_.”

 

Tears were beginning to leak down his mother’s face. “I’m ashamed to say it, but that is partly true. It’s also true though, that he wanted a better life for you,” she whispered.

 

Loki barked out a laugh at that and glared at her. “A better life? He raised me like I was some kind of bother or thorn in his side that it was easier to disparage than remove completely!” he shouted.

 

Frigga frowned at her baby as more tears slid down. “I’m sorry he treated you differently from your brother, Loki, but you did have a better life with us than you would have with that prostitute,” she replied sadly.

 

He rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest, rather like the petulant child he was being. Of course his mother was right, and he had been given a privileged life here with a wealthy father and a doting mother – but that didn’t just discount everything he was feeling!

 

“If he was doing me such a favor, why not rub it in?” Loki seethed, because she really _hadn’t_ fully answered his question yet.

 

His mother wiped her eyes and took another deep breath. “We never wanted you to go looking for him, Loki. Or to feel like you were anything less than our son,” she cried.

 

He couldn’t look at his mother anymore, it was making him feel too guilty and that was _not_ the point right now. “Why didn’t you want me to find him? Isn’t that something adopted children typically _need_ to do?” he asked, trying to control his own voice.

 

“He’s a dangerous man and he was involved with a lot of bad people,” his mother answered, drying more tears.

 

Loki continued to avoid eye contact as he stared out the window at the obnoxious sun. It felt like it should be raining or something.

 

“Well I’m an adult now, and I should have the right to decide for myself whether or not I want to meet him,” he said quietly, more to be defiant than out of any real interest. As far as Loki was concerned, someone who would give him up so easily for _political ambition_ deserved to rot in hell.

 

“He’s dead, Loki,” his mother all but whispered.

 

He snapped his eyes to her and unfolded his arms without meaning to. “What?”

 

Thor also looked surprised by that information and lifted his head from its perch in his hands to look at his mother.

 

“He died over a decade ago, when you were just a little boy,” she replied miserably.

 

Loki opened his mouth to say something but just stopped and processed that.

 

His father was dead. It didn’t matter that he had never known him and didn’t really want to meet him – now he didn’t have a _choice_ and it sucked.

 

“What about my mother?” he whispered, staring off at a random point in the room.

 

“ _I_ am your mother,” Frigga said very seriously. It was the most confident and sure she had sounded all morning and although her tone was severe she was looking at her son with very melancholic eyes. “The woman who gave birth to you is also deceased. I’m sorry, Loki.”

 

He felt like he couldn’t breathe again. Anxiety was creeping up his spine to hug his despair and if he wasn’t careful and didn’t keep his breathing under control he risked losing it. But he couldn’t dismiss himself to calm down, yet, he still had one more question.

 

“Why did you tell Thor?”

 

“I found out by accident,” Thor answered for their mother. “I overheard them talking about it when I was little, they told me not to tell you and then I just forgot about it,” he added, clearly meaning for that to be a comfort.

 

Loki glared at him. “Oh well if it just slipped your mind then I suppose I forgive you!” he shouted, shredding his voice even further. It hurt, and he needed some water (and maybe some privacy to sob some more) but he couldn’t leave yet.

 

Thor flinched at that. “Loki, you are my little brother! It doesn’t matter what your blood says-”

 

“No, Thor. It does matter. It might not have mattered had I grown up knowing the truth, but I didn’t and it does,” he interrupted. Thor was not going to win any points by telling him how he was _supposed_ to feel. “Where is Odin?” Loki asked, changing the subject.

 

Frigga sniffled a bit and made a face. “He’s asleep, darling. Do you want me to wake him?” she offered, making like she was going to get up.

 

Loki pursed his lips and shook his head. Fucking typical. His father didn’t even _care_ that his so-called son was in pain. He was _sleeping_ like this was just any other day. He stood up suddenly and had to fight the wave of nausea that came over him. “I think I’m going to go back to school early,” he said quietly before meeting his mother’s eyes.

 

“Loki, please don’t leave,” his mother begged. “Please, let’s talk about this!”

 

“I’m not ready to talk about it,” he said, this time without any malice. It was true, though; if he stayed and tried to talk now he would just end up screaming at her again like he had the night before.

 

That was all he said before he left the room and went upstairs to pack.

 

oooooooo

 

Loki didn’t say goodbye to his mother, father or brother before he left; he packed up his suitcase and tore like a bat out of hell.

 

And the knot in his stomach was still there.

 

He desperately wanted to take a hot bath and let his muscles work themselves out under the hot water, but the issue of not having any tubs in the dorm remained. He was actually about to text Tony to take him up on the offer of letting him crash when his phone lit up with a text from his boyfriend.

 

**_When are you coming back to campus?_ **

****

What the whatsack? Loki supposed he shouldn’t be surprised to be hearing from Fandral, but he was.

****

**_I’m here now._ **

 

Maybe his boyfriend would want to hang out and that could distract him from his spiral of despair and ever-potent self-loathing.

****

**_You said you weren’t coming back until the weekend. Why didn’t you call me?_ **

****

Guilt flooded Loki’s system. He was a fucking terrible boyfriend. He didn’t even _think_ to call Fandral – he had planned on spending the night wallowing in angst until his roommate came back.

 

**_I’m sorry, I was about to – I only just got here. I came back early because of some family issues._ **

****

That was the most delicate way he could think of to phrase it… he still didn’t want to tell his boyfriend what had happened. It was all too humiliating and surreal right now.

****

**_Family issues?_ **

****

Loki figured that this came not from a curiosity about what happened, but out of distrust for Loki. Fandral probably thought he was lying and just made up a reason for coming back early and not telling him about it.

****

**_I had a huge fight with my parents._ **

****

Which was the truth, and without going into details that was all Fandral needed to know.

****

**_That sounds rough baby I’m sorry._ **

****

He had to reread the text a few times before he accepted what he was seeing.

 

Fandral actually gave a shit about this? Loki figured this was something his boyfriend would encourage him to get over on his own – but this might have been the most sympathetic thing he had ever said. Then, a minute later Loki received another text.

****

**_Want me to come over and make it better? ;)_ **

****

Were Loki in his right mind and not distracted by a million other things, he might have interpreted the message smarmy and questioned Fandral’s real motivation in coming over. He might have recognized that his boyfriend was clearly going to take advantage of his emotional state – but even if he had acknowledged that Loki wouldn’t have cared. He felt so horrible for being attracted to Tony and neglecting to tell Fandral he was in town that he felt like he needed to make it up to him. Getting on his knees for his boyfriend as an apology was the _right thing to do_.

****

**_Yes, please._ **

****

oooooooo

Fandral brought beer with him, which was probably a bad idea but Loki was too preoccupied with his fragile mental state and his desire to perform well for his boyfriend to notice.

 

He had cleaned himself up a tad: washed his face, brushed his teeth, went to the bathroom…

 

When he opened the door and saw the blond standing there he was actually sort of relieved. Thank god he _had someone_ ; never mind the fact that it was a boy he was too uncomfortable to be himself around or share his horrible Thanksgiving with – meaning that he was not going to be able to work through _any_ of this anxiety. A boyfriend was still a validating feature to Loki, and he was pathetically grateful for his.

 

The moment he had come inside and put the beer down, Fandral wrapped his arms around Loki and crushed their lips together.

 

“I missed you, babe,” he murmured after he pulled back and moved his hands to rest on Loki’s ass.

 

God that felt nice to hear. Thank god _something_ was going right.

 

“I missed you, too,” Loki whispered back before initiating a kiss on his own. He wanted to keep Fandral’s opinion of him like this – and initiating sexual contact was a good way to do that.

 

“Mmm,” his boyfriend moaned into him. “I missed this mouth…”

 

That was Loki’s cue. He flashed his eyes at Fandral, trying to appear seductive, and dropped to his knees to service him.

 

After the first time he pleasured, or rather had his mouth _used_ to pleasure, his boyfriend he learned very quickly that he needed to acquire some skill in the art or he would be used as a wet hole again. So he practiced every time that he saw Fandral (the man was only too happy to oblige) and had even attempted deep throating a cucumber to desensitize his gag reflex. He had figured out a way to keep _breathing_ as he sucked and licked, but he still felt like gagging almost all of the time. The smell, the taste, and the general spirit of the act all left him feeling queasy and unsettled.

 

But it was his job as a boyfriend to be willing to perform oral sex, even though the favor had never been returned, and so he did it with a smile on his face. He didn’t cry anymore when it happened, or afterward, and ignored the way he always seemed to feel _worse_ after he did it.

 

Sex still hurt, though. One of the reasons he always sank to his knees was to try and give Fandral an orgasm before he could pull Loki’s pants off. He had finally talked his boyfriend into using condoms (although the blond had said ‘but you owe me’) and Loki made sure to purchase the kind that came pre-lubricated, but those were still the only form of _aid_ he got. Fandral still wouldn’t prepare him, and even took issue with Loki using his fingers on himself. So every time he found himself on his back with his legs open, or bent over the bed with his hands fisted in the sheets, he would grit his teeth and try not to scream when he was penetrated.

 

At first, he tried very hard to convince himself to enjoy it. He thought that it must just take getting used to and he needed to let his mind relax so the sensations could overwhelm him; but the only thing he felt was pain and discomfort every single time. About a month into their dating, Loki had tried wrapping a hand around himself in the middle of their coupling and Fandral had given him this _look_. He didn’t say anything – just kept grunting in time with his thrusts – but his face was disgusted and judgmental; like Loki was doing something _perverted_ and despicable by trying to find pleasure during sex.

 

That one time was all it took to traumatize him and he never reached his hand between his legs in front of Fandral again. Instead, his sex would lay there, uninterested and _embarrassing_ – but his boyfriend didn’t seem to mind.

 

It would all be one thing if Fandral took care of him, as he had on their first night together, but after a repeat of him ceasing his stimulations after one shot of cum, Loki realized that was a far worse feeling than not being touched at all. He was too embarrassed to touch himself in front of his boyfriend so he just went without orgasm every night.

 

It had officially been more than two months since he had last climaxed. He wasn’t walking around frustrated though; his anxiety had all but _removed_ his sex drive. He also figured that was part of the reason that he couldn’t find pleasure when Fandral was inside him.

 

It was all his fault. There had to be something wrong with his body and his brain because from listening to others talk about it – sex was not supposed to be this complicated. It was also supposed to be bringing them closer together, and Loki didn’t feel that way at all. He felt more self conscious when he was naked with his boyfriend than he did when he showered in the public bathroom with others around.

 

He still liked kissing, though. Well, he didn’t like it as much when Fandral’s tongue was in his mouth, as that tended to be a bit sloppy, but he did like it when his boyfriend kissed his neck. Not when he sucked on it, because the older man was always too rough with his hickeys, but when he would trail his facial hair over Loki’s incredibly sensitive skin – that felt _amazing_.

 

Of course it would only last for a few seconds before the biting would start again. Fandral liked to mark his territory, but Loki did get him to negotiate only leaving marks in places where others couldn’t see. Once, he had bitten the inside of Loki’s thigh, and the younger man allowed himself to get excited by the notion that Fandral might use his mouth to pleasure him, only to have him turn around and pull out a condom.

 

But this was how it worked in adult relationships: pain, testing patience and zero orgasms.

 

And to think, Loki had considered asking how things were going with Jane to see if he could get a read on another couple’s experience without drawing too much attention to his own – and now he didn’t even think he could talk to Thor.

 

He tried channeling his focus into his actions so that he wouldn’t start dwelling – but Fandral pulled his hips back and encouraged Loki to stand.

 

“It’s been so long that I’d like to take you,” he murmured as he pulled off Loki’s pants and guided him to bend over his bend and spread his legs.

 

“Is your roommate on campus?” Fandral asked from behind him.

 

He turned his head and saw his boyfriend rolling a condom down his cock. “Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he will be out for a few hours,” he answered.

 

Fandral grinned wickedly at that and pulled on Loki’s waist to move him. “Let’s fuck on his bed,” he proposed.

 

Oh god no.

 

“We really shouldn’t – he will notice and we have a rule-”

 

“It’s cool,” Fandral interrupted. “I’ll take you from behind while your bent over like this. So really, we’re just having sex _against_ his bed,” he purred as he repositioned his boyfriend.

 

Loki’s stomach sank, and even though he wanted to protest because this was _seriously not cool_ , he was also terrified too.

 

When Fandral penetrated him he felt an unholy amount of depression overtake him. He felt like he was being punished for something – like the universe was deliberately picking on him simply for the crime of _being Loki_.

 

He accepted the fucking like it was a punishment and chewed on the inside of his lip as he wondered why he was so fucked up that he couldn’t enjoy this. What was so fucking wrong with him that the simplest thing in the world – sex – he couldn’t get it right. He was a failure. A failure, a disappointment, a crappy boyfriend to Fandral, a poor excuse of a friend to Natasha, a disappointment as a son, and a weakling as a brother.

 

And to Tony? He should be nothing to Tony. His partner should just stop pretending to be his friend and putting up with his bullshit. He should cut Loki out of his life and insist that their relationship extend to nothing beyond project related manners. No more dinners, no more movies, no more crying and cuddling and _comfort_. What could Tony possibly be getting out of this friendship, anyway? A needy, pathetic, emotionally fucked up partner who can’t give him anything back except sass and a demanding personality.

 

Loki didn’t realize that he had tears rolling down his cheeks as Fandral slammed into him over and over. He hated himself. He fucking _hated_ himself.

 

He tried to let the cock in his ass ground him to reality, but he was too lost in his own head and the knot in his stomach, that had never really left, had hardened again and reminded him of everything that hurt and dragged him further into darkness.

 

When his boyfriend finally finished and stilled his movements, Loki felt Fandral pull out as he hands left his boyfriend’s hips.

 

He shifted slowly, because he was always sore after the act, and only after Fandral looked at his face and sighed did he realize there were tears on it.

 

“Baby, why are you crying?” he asked in a voice that was more impatient than sympathetic.

 

“Sorry, it’s that fight with my family…” Loki mumbled back, averting his gaze to the ground.

 

Fandral looked at him for a moment, sizing up how he wanted to handle this, and Loki assumed he would try to move past the topic making out – but in the surprise of all surprises he held out his hand for his boyfriend to take. When Loki did, he pulled them both into bed and wrapped his arms around the smaller man to hold him in a way he never had before.

 

“Take a nap,” Fandral commanded quietly, which was really his way of _not_ dealing with whatever Loki was going through.

 

But Loki didn’t mind. He was just so _stunned_ that Fandral was actually being so tender with him that he didn’t acknowledge the way the topic was being avoided. He was so exhausted anyway, after barely sleeping the night before and having such an unpleasant conversation this morning that even though it was the middle of the afternoon, he passed out.

 

He woke up barely an hour later to the sound of his boyfriend getting dressed.

 

“Sorry babe, I gotta run,” he said before planting a kiss on Loki’s sleepy, confused lips and departing.

 

Loki sighed as he reached over the bed to pull his phone out of his discarded pants. He had a missed call and a text from Tony that read:

 

**_I was just calling to check on you. Please let me know that you are okay._ **

 

Why did Tony care about him? It was maddening and confusing and Loki didn’t have the brainpower to handle it right now.

 

He responded with the most frustrating and vague of all statements in the history of ever:

 

**_I’m fine_**.

 

Before rolling back over and pretending the rest of the world didn’t exist so he could go back to sleep.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I promise there will be more frostiron feels in the next chapter and it won’t end so sadly.


	12. A Fight, Brothers, and The Hobbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha yells at Loki, he and Thor call a truce, and Tony goes to see midnight premier of The Hobbit with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter was SUCH A BITCH.

oooooooo

 

Everything since Thanksgiving had been hell for Loki.

 

On the first Monday back he got an e-mail from the psychology department telling him that he and Tony were not going to be approved to start actual experimentation until the following semester – _but_ they were still expected to continue meeting for the next three weeks. It was going to put them in a horrible time crunch, and it was just another stressor that Loki didn’t need.

 

He skipped lunch with his brother, since he couldn’t bring himself to face Thor, and threw himself into studying for his upcoming finals.

 

He barely saw Natasha, though he did make some time for her because he wanted to hear about her new boyfriend, but he remained jumpy and tense each time they got together and he could tell it was really wearing on her patience.

 

Loki also stopped having fun with Tony in their meetings. He buried himself in books and notes instead of chatting or watching movies, and although Tony completely understood and respected what Loki was doing, both boys missed their usual practices.

 

Then things got worse. On the morning of Thor’s birthday, Loki had woken up with a fever of one hundred and three degrees and could not stop vomiting. He was terrified of missing class since finals were the very next week, so he had dragged his broke ass out of bed and sweated through a horrible day only to come home and find his brother waiting for him outside his door.

 

He still didn’t want to speak to Thor, but he had purchased a present for him weeks earlier and didn’t see the harm in giving it to him since he wasn’t going to partake in the celebrations. Loki didn’t apologize or explain himself when he told his older brother that he would not longer be joining him for his birthday dinner – although his physical appearance made it quite clear to Thor that Loki _couldn’t_ even if he wanted to.

 

But he didn’t want to, and that stung Thor.

 

Tony had come over that night and, despite Loki’s protests, taken care of him. He brought soup, vapor rub, and after he passed out in a feverish sleep, the engineer kept changing out the cold cloth on his forehead.

 

After that night, Loki decided he didn’t have the energy to feel weird around Tony. He was going to accept the affection even if he felt like a giant creep for being attracted to the boy.

 

The following Sunday was the winter choir concert, and although Loki still had the flu he had to attend. He barely made it through without throwing up or falling off of the risers, and would have preferred to bolt immediately back to his room – but his family had come to see him sing.

 

His father had made some excuse about a phone call he needed to take and had stepped outside; his brother had stood there awkwardly, moving like he wanted to hug his brother but was afraid to do so; and Frigga decided she wasn’t going to put up with Loki’s moodiness and pulled her baby into a giant hug. She had brought him medicine, tea, and a heating pad and took Tony’s place that night, by making her child soup and rubbing his back until he fell asleep.

 

And Tony? Tony had worn a suit to the concert. He had sat with Loki’s family, worn a suit – and he brought flowers because, _“Isn’t that what people do?”_

 

It was so foolish and sweet that between his mother hugging him and his overwhelming desire to pass out and vomit, Loki had a hard time not crying.

 

He still hadn’t properly spoken with his mother about the events that had transpired over the last holiday, but it was understood that even if she wasn’t fully forgiven yet – she was operationally forgiven. The night that she took care of him, Loki was so tired and felt so horrible that he physically didn’t have the energy to be stubborn; especially when the thing he wanted most _was_ to have his mommy take care of him.

 

She didn’t stay over night since Loki’s bedroom was a shared space, although Bruce had been avoiding it since his roommate got the flu (as many college roommates do), and had left Loki a note telling him to call her the next day, planted a kiss on his forehead, and left to hug her other son goodbye.

 

But Loki hadn’t stayed asleep that night. Perhaps he would have returned to health faster if he had, or if he got proper rest any other night – but he had _finals_. Finals didn’t stop just because his life was falling apart around him and he was seven different kinds of sick. The school wouldn’t hit a pause button just because he was terrified that his boyfriend was going to break up with him because he had been too ill to have sex for almost a week (which apparently meant that Loki had no use to him because Fandral had not lifted a finger to help take care of him).

 

Instead of sleeping, he kept himself up all night with textbooks and notes and packets of information. The next day he skipped lunch with Thor again, called his mother to let her know that his first final went well (and in a very small and rushed voice, thanked her for taking care of him) and attempted to stay up all night again.

 

He completely blew off Tony when his partner texted him about meeting Monday evening, and didn’t respond until he got out of his final on Tuesday. When they finally met up Loki could barely keep his eyes open and ended up falling asleep sitting up in Tony’s lab with a psychology textbook in his lap and a highlighter in his hand.

 

The nap only lasted a few hours and then he was downing shots of caffeine. Tuesday afternoon rolled into the evening and pretty soon it was nine a.m. Wednesday morning and Loki had slept a total of seven hours since Sunday.

 

Consciously, he knew that his behavior was extraordinarily unhealthy and even abnormal for him – but he was trying to distract himself from everything else going on and this horrible lifestyle was doing the trick.

 

By Wednesday night, though, he was ready to die.

 

Loki returned to his dorm room at midnight after studying in the library all day. He had sent an apology text to Tony for losing track of time and being unable to meet, and fortunately for his psyche his partner had been very forgiving and just insisted that he get some sleep.

 

The diva fully intended on it. He had been pouring over his books and notes for hours and was coming down from a caffeine high; the general effect left him feeling mostly satisfied with his academic preparation, and physically broken to the point where he should be able to get a nice rest, free from lingering thoughts or unwanted tears.

 

But when he opened his bedroom door he found Natasha waiting for him.

 

“Hey, boobs,” he greeted affectionately as he put his things down and searched for his phone charger, as the device was about to die.

 

But she didn’t greet him back, she was _glaring_ at him. “Did you forget our plans?” she practically hissed at him.

 

He blinked at her and racked his brain, but it seemed so unlikely that he would have agreed to anything this week that he truly couldn’t remember. “Um…” he started.

 

“You’re unbelievable!” she yelled, throwing her hands up. “Good god, Loki do I even matter to you anymore?”

 

What was happening.

 

“Natasha, of course you matter to me. I don’t know-”

 

“Let me explain something to you. Just because you get a _boyfriend_ that doesn’t mean that I stop being your friend or that it becomes okay to constantly blow me off,” she growled.

 

Seriously. What was happening.

 

“What are you talking about?” he asked, completely confused and upset that his friend was yelling at him. It didn’t help that he was so tired it was making him extra sensitive.

 

“You have been completely self centered ever since you started dating Fandral,” she hissed. That glare had never been directed at Loki before and he _hated_ it. “You blow me off when we make plans, you never ask to spend time together anymore, and even when we are together I can’t _talk_ to you because you’re always jumpy and defensive!” she yelled.

 

He really didn’t want to start crying in front of her, because that would prove her point about not being able to talk to him, but he felt tears stinging in the corners of his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry-” he started to choke out.

 

“You know what? Forget it,” she growled as she moved past him to leave. “You can call me when you figure your shit out and decide whether or not you actually _want_ to be friends!” she snapped before leaving and slamming the door.

 

What the fuck was happening?! Could he do nothing right? Could nothing _go_ right?

 

God fucking dammit. He had spent all day distracting himself from his self loathing and now it had come back to punch him in the stomach ten times as hard. He wanted to cry and scream into a pillow, but he also wanted to get out of here.

 

He was too upset to sleep, and if he climbed into bed he was going to start ruminating on how much he hated himself and he would be up all night again. No he needed to go somewhere… or just be somewhere that was not this room. But he couldn’t call Tony for this, if he saw Tony he was going to break under that comfortable familiarity and just cry all over him again.

 

Loki grabbed his keys and left his phone on the table as he left the room. He could go sit in his car until he figured out what he wanted to do. At least no one could disturb him there.

 

As he walked his stomach clenched and churned as the little voice in the back of his head called him horrible names. It wasn’t until he stepped outside into the icy, winter air that he realized he had not thought to put his coat back on.

 

He practically sprinted to his car and threw himself in the backseat before he broke down completely.

 

oooooooo

 

When Bruce returned to his dorm room, at one in the morning, he was surprised to see that Loki wasn’t there. It was not unheard of for his roommate to be gone all night, but he had just seen the two people he thought Loki was most likely to spend the night with and he was not with them.

 

Tony had been leaving the engineering building, by himself; and Fandral the douche had been walking with some friends to a party (or at least that was Bruce’s guess based on their obvious drunken state and the way they kept cheering ‘yolo’).

 

He could have just called his roommate and asked him where he was, but Loki’s phone was sitting on his bedside table.

 

Normally, Bruce wouldn’t do or say anything, since it really wasn’t his business what Loki did with his time – but he was a tad worried. Even though his roommate had probably just passed out studying in the library, he should still be woken up so he didn’t accidentally sleep through a final or something.

 

Before he set his things down, Bruce turned and headed for Thor’s door. He had never been there before, but he and Loki each had people they were supposed to contact in the event that something happened to the other and knew how to get a hold of them.

 

He was grateful to hear the sound of a video game console coming from Thor’s room, because he would have felt terribly guilty if he woke him up. He knocked quietly all the same, so as not to disturb the other residents.

 

When Thor opened the door he looked extremely surprised to see Bruce standing there. “Bruce! How are you?” he exclaimed.

 

“I’m fine. Hey, is Loki with you?” he asked in his unbelievably calming voice.

 

The blond man frowned at him. “No, why? Is everything okay?”

 

The scientist nodded. “I’m sure it is, but I just saw Tony and Fandral and Loki wasn’t with them and he isn’t in our room,” he explained.

 

Thor’s entire demeanor changed as he frowned and went into his room to retrieve his phone. “You can come in, my roommate is with his girlfriend,” he said to the man awkwardly standing outside his door as he placed a call.

 

Bruce stepped inside uncomfortably and waited to see what Thor was doing. Whoever it was must not have answered because the blond growled as he pulled his phone away and looked for another number.

 

“Hey, Natasha?” the blond said into the phone. “Is Loki with you? What do you mean you yelled at him?! Why would you yell at him?! Well don’t – no – no, I know that – no he’s going through some stuff! No, it’s more than Fandral – well, look do you know where Loki is or not? Alright, I just tried to call him and he didn’t answer but you try and I’ll call Tony,” he said before hanging up the phone. 

 

“He left his phone in the room,” Bruce interjected quietly.

 

Thor scowled at that as he searched for another contact. “And it’s turned off,” he growled.

 

Bruce felt guilty. He could make himself useful by going to check in the library, or something….

 

“Tony? Hey do you know where Loki is? I don’t know – I don’t know where he is. No, don’t bother, I’ll find him. I’ll call you later,” he said before hanging up abruptly and turning to Bruce. “I’m going to go check and see if his car is in the lot.”

 

“What should I do?” the scientist asked, wanting to be helpful.

 

“Thank you, Bruce, but you should just get some rest. I’ll go check in the library if his car is here and if it’s not I’ll go home and see if it’s there,” he replied as he pulled on his winter coat.

 

He wanted to do more, because Bruce really did like his roommate, but he did as Thor said. He wished him goodnight, told him to text him when he found Loki, and headed back to his room.

 

oooooooo

 

It was fucking freezing. Literally, the evening lows in mid December had crept into the high teens and Loki was _freezing_.

 

He didn’t want to turn his car on, as it would drain his battery, and he didn’t feel comfortable driving when he was this upset; so he just sat in his backseat, shivering uncontrollably and wishing that this ache inside him would go away.

 

Loki had never felt so alone. Even though he knew he could probably go home and his mother would let him go to his room without asking too many questions, he still didn’t feel _safe_ there and couldn’t bring himself to risk facing his father.

 

But he was slowly turning into some kind of snowman, and just as he was about to cave and go back inside there was a tap on his window.

 

_Who in the fuck?_

 

It was Thor.

 

For a split second, Loki considered not opening the door and just letting him freeze out there while he watched from the faux comfort of his vehicle. But he was also too defeated to provoke a fight, so he slowly, because his joints did _not_ want to move, reached over and unlocked the door.

 

His brother immediately clambered inside and wrenched the door closed, for all the good it would do, as he began frantically questioning his little brother.

 

“Loki what are you doing out here? You are going to get pneumonia, it’s freezing! You don’t even have a blanket – what’s wrong?”

 

But Loki just blinked at him with his sore, tired, tear stained eyes. How had Thor even found him? What was he doing out in the parking lot at one in the morning?

 

“Loki, please talk to me,” Thor said quietly after a minute of his brother just staring at him as they both shuddered from the winter chill.

 

He shrugged a bit, the movement coming out much jerkier than he intended because a violent shiver interrupted it, and dropped his gaze. “What do you want me to say?”

 

“Why are you sitting in your car in sixteen degree weather at one in the morning?” Thor asked patiently.

 

Loki shrugged again and felt hot tears coming into his eyes. He was _so sick_ of crying, but his body seemed intent on constantly making a fool out of him. “I had nowhere else to go,” he whispered.

 

Thor immediately pulled his brother into a hug and squeezed him tight. “You can always come to me, Loki,” he murmured.

 

And with those words Loki broke again. The tears began streaming down his face as he gasped for air and gave a weak punch to Thor’s chest. “Why did you lie to me?” he sobbed pathetically.

 

The elder of the brothers responded by holding Loki tighter. “When mom and dad told me I didn’t really understand what it meant,” he answered. “It was just a piece of information, it didn’t matter.”

 

“It _does_ matter!” Loki cried as he punched Thor’s chest again.

 

“I misspoke, Loki. What I mean is, to me it was just another part of you. Another detail. It could have been about the color of your hair for all it mattered to me or changed how I felt about you,” he explained gently.

 

Loki paused his crying and tried to process his brother’s words as he wiped his nose on Thor’s shirt. “How can it not matter?” he choked out after a minute.

 

This time, instead of squeezing him, Thor pulled back so he could grip Loki’s shoulders and look him in the eye. “You have always been and you will always be my little brother, nothing else matters,” he said seriously. “You are my best friend, my closest companion, and the only person in the world who is allowed to wipe their nose on my _shirt_.”

 

Loki laughed weakly at that and sniffled some more, as he averted his brother’s gaze.

 

“Loki?” Thor didn’t continue until he had his brother’s eye contact and gripped his shoulders tighter. “I am truly sorry that I lied to you, and that I didn’t understand how important this is to you. But I promise, it changes _nothing_ in how I look at you, or how much I care about you.”

 

He didn’t want to forgive Thor, because he was a bit sadistic and thought his brother needed to be punished longer, but he was _so tired_ and Thor was _warm_ so he dropped his head back against that broad chest and mumbled, “I’m still mad at you,” into his brother’s shirt.

 

He couldn’t see it but he _sensed_ his brother smile as he hugged him again. “I know,” he said patiently.

 

They stayed like that for several minutes, as Loki continued to sniffle and shiver. He could have fallen asleep from exhaustion, but there was a good chance he would actually freeze to death if that happened.

 

“You should know that Natasha feels very badly right now,” Thor stated out of nowhere.

 

Loki scowled and pulled away from the embrace. “She shouldn’t. I’m the one who’s been a bad friend,” he mumbled thickly through his sniffles.

 

“Perhaps you’ve been a bit distracted by other things,” Thor conceded gently as he offered Loki his sleeve as a tissue.

 

He waved the arm away and shook his head. “She doesn’t know about that, it’s not her fault for being mad at my absence,” he responded sadly.

 

Thor’s eyebrow shot up. “You haven’t told her?”

 

“I haven’t told anyone!” Loki yelled back. “ _I_ can barely comprehend it.”

 

His brother made an apologetic face at him. “You two can work it out tomorrow, right now you need to come inside and get some sleep,” he ordered.

 

Again, Loki would normally have been obstinate for the sake of being difficult; but tonight he was just so tired that he nodded his head and followed his brother out of the car.

 

When he was back in his room, he mumbled a ‘hello’ to Bruce, who patiently nodded and smiled at the brothers. Thor grabbed pajamas for Loki and insisted on staying until he saw that his brother was under the covers and wasn’t going to grab any study materials, and even asked Bruce to make sure that Loki went to straight to sleep.

 

Loki scowled at his brother for making that request. “I’m not a child, I don’t need a babysitter!”

 

Bruce chuckled to himself as Thor moved to tuck his brother in. “Of course not, Loki,” he answered through a grin. But he would always think of Loki as someone he needed to protect and take care of. He was the big brother. His _job_ was to look out for his younger sibling and make sure that no harm befell him; physically, mentally, or emotionally. To Thor, Loki would always be the child he had grown up with; the little boy who cried when he scraped his knee, or ran into Thor’s bed when he was scared of a monster in his closet, the younger brother who had always looked at Thor with such adoration and admiration, even when he felt inferior.

 

Right now, the fussy frown that Loki was giving Thor didn’t help the ‘I will always see you as my five-year old baby brother’, but it did make the older of the two smile.

 

“Get some sleep,” Thor commanded gently, before squeezing Loki’s shoulder and heading back to his own room.

 

Loki growled at being told what to do, made a face at Bruce to let him know that he did not approve of his brother’s shenanigans (really it was just to save face, though), and rolled over.

 

He was so exhausted and sleep-deprived that within minutes he was out like a light.

 

oooooooo

 

Tony was furious.

 

He had been in a panic all night since Thor had called him. The blond had not thought to text him back or return his calls to let him know what the hell that meant or if they ever actually located his partner, which had left him freaking out and assuming the worst. He had tried calling Natasha, but she didn’t answer, and Pepper, but she didn’t know anything.

 

The worst part was that Loki’s phone was also turned off, and there are few things worse in the world than needing to hear someone’s voice and having a phone call go straight to voicemail. It’s maddening.

 

He repeated to himself over and over that Loki was all right and there must have been some big misunderstanding, as he walked towards his partner’s dormitory. Tony didn’t want to make a bigger deal than was necessary by freaking out and showing up at Loki’s dorm in the middle of the night – especially since he had been sick and he knew Loki’s last final was today – but waiting until the next morning to check on things seemed appropriate.

 

He waited until noon, when he was certain that the diva would be awake and studying, and after waiting outside the entrance to the dorm for another resident to let him in, he marched toward Loki’s room with a speech in his head.

 

_You are not allowed to have your phone off when I like you this much_.

 

That was the gist of it.

 

But right as he opened the door to Loki’s hallway, he spotted Thor and Natasha talking in hushed voices. 

 

He would wait to chastise Loki for making him worry – _these two needed to be punished_.

 

“Hey!” Tony yelled to startle instead of greet them. Perhaps it was inconsiderate since people were likely studying or still sleeping in the surrounding rooms, but they would just have to get over the interruption because Tony was _mad_.

 

“I have a bone to pick with you two,” he growled as he strode over to the pair who had jumped at his sudden outburst.

 

“What’s the matter?” Thor asked, and Tony could hear how tired he was. Once he got up close he saw that they both looked like they had gone without sleep.

 

“First of all – is Loki safe in his bedroom?”

 

They nodded at him with the same confused expressions and relief flooded Tony’s heart.

 

_Thank fucking god_.

 

“Where the hell do you get off calling me asking if ‘ _I know where Loki is’_ and then never getting back to me? Do you have any idea how worried I was last night?” he hissed, this time trying to be more considerate of his volume. (It also occurred to him that he didn’t want Loki to hear his voice and come out to find his partner yelling at his best friend and brother).

 

Their expressions were pained and guilty and Thor immediately sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Tony, I apologize. It was a crazy night-”

 

“I’m sure it was. But I care about Loki just as much as you two and that was fucking inconsiderate to make me worry like that,” he growled at the pair. “He’s my friend too, and if I called you and said something like that and then gave you _radio silence_ all night, you would be punching me right now.”

 

Thor looked genuinely shocked by the words as he blinked at Tony and considered him. In his peripheral vision, the engineer could see that Natasha’s stunned expression had evolved into a pleased one as the corner of her lips curved up and her eyes softened.

 

“Yes… yes I would,” the footballer conceded before offering a tired smile. “I will give you one free punch.”

 

Tony glared at him for a second before reluctantly grinning a bit. “I’ll save it,” he grumbled. “Now what the hell happened last night?”

 

Thor sighed and rubbed the side of his neck. “Loki…he and I finally talked…sort of,” he said awkwardly, seemingly unsure of how to answer.

 

Tony didn’t want to appear like he had no idea what the man was talking about, since he had just insisted that he was just as close to Loki as these two…but he had no idea what Thor was talking about. “What do you mean?” he asked hurriedly.

 

They both frowned at him. “He didn’t tell you?” Natasha asked quietly as she arched an eyebrow (although she really had no place to talk since Loki had only just told her a few minutes ago).

 

What an irritating string of words. “Tell me what?” Tony snapped under his breath.

 

The brother and the best friend looked at each other as though they were trying to decide how to answer before Thor met his eyes again. “Loki will tell you, I’m sure, but if I do it he might actually kill me,” he explained apologetically.

 

As annoying as that response was, Tony could understand it. He had _no idea_ what the hell they were talking about, although he secretly hoped it had something to do with breaking up with Fandral, but he did agree that if Thor shared a secret of his brother’s that Loki would flay him alive.

 

“Alright…” he replied slowly. “Is he okay?”

 

Thor grimaced a bit. “His emotional well-being is in pretty bad shape right now. You should go talk to him before he gets lost in studying,” he suggested as he nodded toward Loki’s door.

 

“And I should be going, I have a final soon…” Natasha murmured before taking a deep breath.

 

The blond clasped her shoulder and gave it a fond squeeze. “Make sure he eats something,” he advised seriously, waiting for Tony to nod in agreement before offering another tired smile and leaving for his dorm.

 

When Tony took his eyes from Thor’s retreating form and turned his gaze to the woman standing next to him, he found she was staring at him with an unreadable expression. He raised an eyebrow at her to prompt whatever the hell was going on in her mind, and she cocked her head a bit.

 

“If you _care_ for him,” she began slowly, in a very even voice, “I would strongly consider telling him.”

 

He shifted uncomfortably under her stare and dropped his gaze to the ground. “You know I care about him,” he mumbled awkwardly.

 

But she didn’t respond, she just continued staring until Tony met her eyes again. He genuinely couldn’t tell if she was disappointed, or judging him, or just noncommittally staring – but her gaze was unwavering and unblinking.

 

“He needs someone to care about him,” she said softly.

 

Tony knew what she meant. He knew that she could tell that his feelings were less than pure, even if his intentions and actions remained ever respectful, and he knew that Thor was on ‘team-Tony’, too. But he didn’t know if either of them understood how damaged Loki was right now (though really _none_ of them did), and the last thing in the world he wanted to do was remove himself as a safe place for his partner to cry by doing something foolish like admitting his feelings. Especially when Loki clearly had other things going on – like this mystery that Thor wouldn’t tell him about.

 

“He knows I do,” Tony promised.

 

She considered him for another moment before giving him a small nod, and then walking away to tend to her business.

 

Now it was time to go see Loki.

 

He walked back over to Loki’s door and knocked quietly, just in case his roommate was asleep or they were studying. He could hear someone shuffling around inside, and then a large ‘thud’ that sounded like a textbook falling on the ground, followed by a ‘dammit!’ from his partner.

 

Tony didn’t have time to wipe the affectionate smile off of his face before the door was opened. “Hey, princess,” he said warmly as he gazed at the sight before him.

 

He had been taking care of Loki a lot while he was sick, so he had gotten quiet used to seeing him with sleep hair and rumpled pajamas, but it would never stop being so cute.

 

Loki glared at him in the way that he always did: with no real malice, but a general disdain for the world that Tony was privy to. “Take my final for me,” he grumbled as he waved his partner in.

 

“Okay,” he agreed. “But I should warn you, I don’t know anything about psychology and I would be forced to draw pictures,” he said with a grin as he moved over to pick up the fallen textbook.

 

Snow White scowled and climbed back into his bed where he was surrounded by papers. “I have _one_ final left and of course it’s the hardest one,” he growled.

 

“But then you’re done!” Tony replied cheerfully. He was already finished, because most of his finals were projects, and he knew how _wonderful_ it felt to be able to moon the semester.

 

Loki sighed and picked up the packet he had been reading, which was covered in highlighted sections and notes in the margins. “And then I’m going to see _The Hobbit_ ,” he declared.

 

Tony raised an eyebrow at that as he took a seat in Loki’s desk chair. “Yeah? Are you gonna get dressed up, too?” he asked with a grin as he flipped through the page of the book.

 

His partner barked out a crazed laugh – because hours of studying will give a person a crazed laugh – and gave Tony a look. “I can’t go to a movie by myself dressed up,” he responded, as though his partner were an idiot for asking such a thing.

 

But Tony only heard one part of that sentence and latched on. After he had jumped back in surprise by the laugh that came out of Loki he leaned forward eagerly. “I’ll go with you,” he offered.

 

Loki paused his reading and looked at Tony again. “You know I’m going right after my final and waiting at the theatre until it starts,” he warned.

 

The engineer shrugged. “I’m done with finals and I want to see the movie. Plus, I would hate for you to miss such a perfectly good cosplay opportunity,” he replied.

 

His partner smiled at him and the manic glint in his eye softened. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah! I’ll pick you up after your final,” he said as he tossed the textbook back onto Loki’s bed and leaned back in the chair.

 

“Thank you, Tony.”

 

This boy was going to be the death of him. “Have you eaten breakfast?” Tony asked suddenly, remembering Thor’s warning about making sure that Loki got food in him.

 

The boy looked up a bit guiltily. “I don’t really have time, I need to reread all of these packets before three o’clock-” he started.

 

But Tony hopped up and interrupted him. “I’ll go grab you food. Just give me your I.D. so I can get back into the building,” he offered.

 

Loki blinked at him. “You really don’t have to do that,” he said, reaching over into his bag to retrieve his I.D. anyway.

 

“I know, but I’m hungry anyway and you’ve been sick,” he reasoned as he pocketed the card Loki offered him.

 

“Thank you, Tony,” Loki said in that same sweet voice that always sounded so surprised that someone would do something kind for him.

 

He nodded as he opened the door and started to exit, but paused and turned around to say one last thing before he let his friend get back to studying.

 

“Hey, Loki?”

 

The younger man looked up and blinked his gorgeous green eyes.

 

“You should leave your phone on… because sometimes... I really need to hear your voice,” he said quietly before departing.

 

The door closed before he could see the way Loki smiled.

 

oooooooo

 

Loki had texted that he was out of his final and properly dressed for the movie, and now Tony was on his way to pick him up and begin their _unexpected journey_. No scratch that, that joke is not funny.

 

Tony was tickled as _hell_ when he pulled up to Loki’s dorm and saw the boy was dressed as Gandalf. He was also pleased that Thor was waiting with him and this time both boys looked to be in better spirits.

 

He put the car in park and waited for Loki to come get in when he saw Thor waving him out of the vehicle.

 

Although he was unsure of _why_ he needed to leave the sanctity and warmth of his car, he undid his seatbelt and opened his door anyway.

 

“What’s up, blondie?” he yelled to the brothers as he stepped around the car and revealed his Dwarf costume. He winked at Loki when he saw the boy’s face light up at the sight, as he had clearly not been expecting Tony to dress up with him.

 

“I want to get a picture of you two,” Thor explained as he began messing with the buttons on a camera that Tony hadn’t realized he was holding.

 

Even though Loki was visibly irritated by Thor’s request, he stepped next to his partner.

 

“You look awesome,” Tony whispered as he slipped a casual arm around Loki’s waist – which was _perfectly appropriate_ for a picture.

 

To his delight, Loki draped an arm across his shoulders and whispered back, “You look horrible,” through a grin.

 

It was perfect timing on Thor’s part that the flash went off just as the boys started laughing at the insult – with their eyes locked on each other. It was a beautiful, sweet, candid shot that could not have come out more perfect if it were staged.

 

When Thor showed him the picture it would mark the moment Tony first knew he was in love.

 

He wanted to reach into the camera and squeeze the ever-loving life out of the boy his arm was wrapped around. Tony could not _believe_ how stunning Loki looked when he laughed like that, and the way his eyes lit up in delight over his jab at his partner’s costume. He looked so silly in his robe and hat and just so childish and wonderful and _god_ he just wanted to _consume_ the boy in this photo.

 

Loki shifted beside him to punch his brother and it actually _startled_ Tony back to reality. When he remembered that Loki was here, standing right next to him – a _real person_ , not just this image of perfection trapped in a picture – and they were friends, and partners, and going to see a movie together.

 

His heart was doing summersaults as his brain tried to wrap around the sudden overwhelming downpour of emotions that were sweeping through him as he gazed at Loki trying to wrestle the camera out of his brother’s hands.

 

He was in love with Loki.

 

“Take good care of him, alright?” Thor said playfully as he held the camera up and out of his little brother’s reach before shoving Loki at Tony and encouraging them to go.

 

He nodded numbly as that thin body collided with his and he had to fight his trance like urge to reach his arms out around Loki’s waist and just cling to him.

 

When they got in the car, Loki immediately turned on the radio and began singing along with whatever was playing, occasionally turning to direct lines of the song to Tony when it was appropriate or he felt like he wasn’t getting enough attention.

 

_Love._

 

When they got to the theatre and realized the line would have to wait outside, Loki took off his wizard cloak so they could sit on that instead of the ground, and pressed himself up against Tony’s side without a word about it. He pulled his laptop out of his bag and offered an ear bud to Tony as _30 Rock_ fired up.

 

Loki didn’t ask, he didn’t check if it was okay – just scooched himself up beside Tony and decided they were going to watch this TV show.

 

_Love._

 

A few hours later, after Loki’s laptop died, and both boys were starving, Tony left to go get food for them (since there were still two hours left until the movie would begin and Loki insisted on waiting for concessions). His partner said that he only wanted a salad, since he was still not feeling great, so Tony acquiesced his wishes and if he accidentally bought an extra brownie in case Loki changed his mind then oopsie poo.

 

And when Loki _did_ eat that brownie without asking if it was actually for him and snickered when he thought he’d stolen Tony’s treat it made the engineer’s heart all gooey and warm.

 

_Love._

 

When it grew dark and started freezing and Loki let Tony wrap an arm around him so they could share body warmth, he tried not to grin like a fool.

 

_Love._

 

After they took their seats he pestered Tony to go buy them snacks and didn’t complain when his partner came back with only one soda and only one straw.

 

_Love._

 

The way Loki’s face would light up and change as he reacted to different things throughout the movie and became more entertaining to watch than the film itself.

 

_Love._

 

When their hands accidentally brushed against each other’s as they reached into the popcorn bucket at the same time, and Tony jokingly laced their fingers together so he could keep Loki’s hand away while he feasted on the golden kernels –

 

_And Loki let him_.

 

Tony tried to appear casual and force his hand to relax so that it wouldn’t become weird – but the longer he held Loki’s hand the more excited he got and the more he started to worry about whether or not he was a creep. When he accidentally shifted his hand a bit and had to make a split second decision to either pull his hand away again under the guise of going in for more popcorn or something, or acknowledging that they were holding hands – _Loki tightened the hold_.

 

Neither of them looked at each other, or said anything, but a silent understanding was reached. Technically this was harmless since neither of them were actively _acting_ on their feelings, and for all the other person knew this was just a joking gesture that had transformed into comfort. Even though they were both experiencing the same amount of tingling in their entire bodies, neither of them _acknowledged_ it, and for the rest of the movie they sat like that: in the back of the theatre, in the wee hours of the morning, after a hellish semester, wearing ridiculous costumes, secretly infatuated with one another with no idea that the other felt the same way – holding hands with their fingers laced and clinging tightly to one another.

 

_Love._

 

oooooooo

 

Loki didn’t want to go home after the film, he wanted to go somewhere and discuss it.

 

So Tony took them both back to his house, since neither of them had anything tomorrow and there was no rush to get back to the dorms. Once Loki had changed out of his Gandalf costume and into Tony’s pajamas (which he had gone and acquired without asking, again thinking he was the funniest little shit in the world), he came back out into the living room and took his usual seat on the couch.

 

The engineer changed into a similar outfit, though with a tank top instead of a loose fitting sleep shirt like Loki was wearing, grabbed drinks for them and took his spot opposite his partner.

 

“Hey, before you start on the movie and get all worked up,” Tony started awkwardly, “What happened last night?” he asked.

 

Loki put his drink down and frowned. “I had an unpleasant conversation with Natasha,” he replied slowly, as though he was still unsure if those were the correct words to use _as_ they were coming out of his mouth.

 

Tony waited for him to continue before pressing for more information. “Did it have anything to do with what happened on Thanksgiving?” he asked nervously. He had not brought that night up since it happened, wanting to grant Loki his privacy, but it had been almost a month and he was _dreadfully_ curious, especially after how cryptic last night was.

 

The effect of his words was instantaneous. Loki’s entire body tensed as he guarded himself against the question. “Tony…” he began before pausing to take a deep breath that worried the engineer. “I am not ready to talk about that yet,” he said uncomfortably.

 

Tony wasn’t sure how to respond, and as he opened his mouth to look for the right words he found himself chewing on air.

 

“I promise I will tell you in time, but not tonight,” Loki added as he turned his head to meet Tony’s eyes.

 

That settled it, then. “Okay – but just know that I’m here, and I care,” he replied sincerely.

 

Loki blinked his pretty green eyes at him and nodded after a minute. “Thank you, Tony” he murmured back with a tiny hint of a smile.

 

“Now you can talk about the movie,” Tony granted with a wave of his hand.

 

And Loki was off! His power to speak incessantly about anything was not limited to rants about the things he disliked. He talked Tony’s ear off for the next hour before they began arguing over a point from _Return of the King_ , and were forced to put it on to settle the matter – even though it was _extremely_ late.

 

They were both asleep within minutes. But this sleepover was not like the others, because they had not intended to pass out on the couch like that. When they were sitting next to each other, perhaps a bit closer than they needed to be, with Loki’s legs curled up beside him and gravity _begging_ him to lean on Tony, they fell asleep leaning against the back of the couch – still sitting up.

 

Eventually Loki’s head dropped onto Tony’s shoulder, and Tony pulled his own legs up onto the couch, still in his sleep, as he blindly reached for a pillow to lean on, and after time he needed to stretch out so he shifted until he was lying horizontally on the sofa, which shifted Loki until he was lying curled up against Tony’s side with his head in the crook of his partner’s neck and one arm flung across his chest. Tony, as usual, had his arms wrapped around Loki and his face buried in that inky black mess of hair.

 

This could have been like any other night where they accidentally fell asleep together, minus the cuddling and the fact that this time – Tony was allowed to _stay_ – but on the other nights there was something very decidedly _platonic_ about their closeness.

 

Tonight though, after both men were very deeply asleep, Loki’s right leg came up to drape across Tony’s hips. Had he been awake, he would have felt the stiff cock his leg had nudged when he did so. But he remained asleep, even as his leg wrapped around Tony as his own crotch sought out friction.

 

Had Tony been awake, he might have felt the hardness pressing against his side and he would have felt simultaneously pleased that Loki was aroused in his presence – and guilty because he was unconscious while it happened.

 

But asleep they stayed; which is why, later in their relationship, neither of them would be able to correctly identify the first night that they felt each other’s erections.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: :3 Alright I’ve changed some things with my chapter planning since y’all really want Fandral out of the picture. He will be gone sooner than I thought. And this was requested again: bundtfuck dot tumblr dot com. It’s on my profile for those that cannot find it :3


	13. Questions, Loki's Future Ex, and Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys do some flirting, Tony spends time at Loki's house over the break, and Fandral sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Y’all’s enthusiasm and support is incredible and means the world to me. Thank you for all the reviews, messages, favorites and follows. Let’s all get married. :3

oooooooo

 

The boys woke up around noon the next day in a tangle of limbs and closeness. They had fallen asleep without a blanket and yet everything felt _so warm_. The curtains were still drawn closed from the night before, and it was just grey enough outside that it gave the room dim lighting that encouraged sleep.

 

Tony woke up with his nose buried in Loki’s hair. He was lying on his back with his left arm up behind his head and his right one awkwardly looping Loki’s left. When Tony went to shift his left arm he found that all of the blood had gone out of it and he couldn’t move it. He slowly pulled his right arm free and used it to drop his left rather heavily across his chest.

 

Loki started awake at the movement and sleepily blinked at his partner. They stared at each other through half lidded eyes for a moment, before simultaneously moving to cuddle again so they could go back to sleep. Loki rolled into his side and pressed his face against Tony’s neck, and shifted his legs so his ankles were draped across his partners.

 

Their movements were completely instinctual, and the way they folded together felt as natural as breathing. Loki dozed right back off immediately, because he had _a lot_ of sleep to catch up on after the past week, but Tony stayed awake a few moments longer because of the tingling in his arm as circulation started up again.

 

Once he had regained control of his fingers and could wiggle them without any delay time, he dared to card them through Loki’s hair, pausing to lightly scratch at the scalp – the way he knew Loki liked.

 

The effect was instantaneous. Immediately Loki gave a sleepy hum of approval, which felt sinfully good against his neck, and curled closer to him.

 

Tony continued that action for a little while as he drifted back into slumber himself. He fell asleep with his hand still tangled in Loki’s hair, lightly gripping the back of his neck and his nose still breathing in that scent.

 

When they woke again, a few hours later, they laid together silently before Tony stretched his muscles and got up to make Loki breakfast… or a very late lunch, rather.

 

“Do you want to go somewhere for lunch?” he asked as he gazed down at the man still on the couch who was now taking advantage of the extra space and stretching out his own body.

 

Loki smiled lazily at him and shook his head before closing his eyes again.

 

“Come on you,” Tony growled fondly as he leaned forward and grabbed Loki’s hands so he could pull him up. “You can’t sleep _all_ day.”

 

The younger man whined at the jostling and the moment Tony had him sitting up and let go of his hands, Loki plopped right back down to his other side. “But I’m so comfortable,” he mumbled into the sofa cushion.

 

“It’s three o’clock!”

 

Loki just grunted at him.

 

“Alright well _I_ am going to take a shower,” Tony declared as he started to leave the rom. He heard a small noise behind him and turned to see Loki poking his head up over the back of the couch. “Do you want to shower, too?” he asked the head.

 

The head nodded.

 

After both of the boys had showered, and Loki had reluctantly pulled his costume back on, as he had no other clothes and the only thing of Tony’s likely to fit him were sweats, they departed to seek out food.

 

It was incredibly freeing, to have the weight of the semester behind them. No classes, no assignments or related expectations – it gave them a sense of power and control over their time. Although they were meeting frequently without the necessity of their project as a motivation, it was incredibly pleasing to Tony that Loki should still be near him when it was absolutely not on the agenda.

 

They chose to get take out from _Oodles of Noodles_ , and brought it back to the house. Loki had been anxiously checking his phone for a message from Natasha, they were meant to meet again before she left and he _really_ didn’t want to accidentally blow her off so soon after they had made up, but she appeared to be spending as much time as she could with Clint before he went home.

 

Loki wanted to watch _America’s Next Top Model_ while they ate, although he offered no explanation as to _why_ , and since Tony was in such a light-hearted, generous mood he obliged his diva.

 

Immediately he was horrified by the women on the screen, but took delight in the way Loki was so enraptured with the story line. The younger man would occasionally explain what the challenges meant and why eliminations were so dramatic and lengthy, and although the engineer didn’t really _care_ , he patiently listened with an amused smirk on his face.

 

“Do you think she’s attractive?” Loki asked suddenly, interrupting what had been a few moments of tense silence as another round of eliminations took place. He took a sip from the mug of tea in his hands and innocently blinked at his partner over the rim of the glass as he waited for an answer.

 

Tony raised a dark eyebrow at the strange question and shrugged. “She’s alright. She’s a bit too… _crazy_ for me, though,” he answered honestly.

 

Loki chuckled and folded his legs in front of himself. “You don’t like crazy people?” he teased.

 

The brunet looked at his partner straight on and said, very seriously, “You _never_ stick your dick in crazy.”

 

The pleased grin he got in response was wonderful.

 

“What happens when you stick your dick in crazy?” Loki pressed, seeming genuinely interested even as he mocked.

 

Tony shuddered dramatically and shook his head. “You die, Loki. You die.”

 

That got him a full, delighted laugh.

 

When the current episode ended, Tony had to pry the remote from Loki’s hands to prevent them from watching another one. As amusing as it was to see his partner overreact to such inconsequential matters of reality television, Tony had not the patience to sit through another hour of what was surely the most confusing show he had ever seen.

 

Loki pouted at him and made puppy eyes, blinking his long, dark lashes over his bright green eyes and dipping his head to give him a more demure appearance.

 

“Stop that,” Tony insisted as he shoved Loki over on his side, ignoring the outraged noise his partner made as he did so. “I sat through four episodes of that. Now it’s my turn to pick what we do,” he declared.

 

The princess huffed as he righted himself into a sitting position again and fixed his partner with a look. “Well what do you want to do?” he posed obstinately.  

 

_Hold hands and tell you how pretty you are_.

 

“I just want to ask you questions and learn all of your secrets. Is that so wrong?” Tony asked with a mask of sincerity, cracking when Loki’s own grin appeared.

 

“What could you possibly want to know about me?” Loki replied playfully as he tossed his head back to illustrate his theatrics. It was adorable, but it all felt like verbal foreplay and it made Tony want to scream.

 

“Everything,” Tony replied. It was the truth, and though he said it with complete conviction and truth, he hoped that his sassy head tilt averted Loki from realizing just how invested he was in such a topic.

 

Potter scowled a bit and let his hands drift to the hem of the sweats he had changed back into after they had returned from acquiring food. “Well I can hardly agree to _that_ ,” he said. “We would be here for days. I’m very interesting, you know,” he added with a tiny grin as his mischievous eyes flicked up to meet Tony’s.

 

“Alright, Mr. Interesting, I’ll make you a deal,” Tony proposed, uncrossing his legs and leaning forward to place his elbows on his knees.

 

Loki raised one of his perfectly groomed eyebrows at his partner and straightened his back in response. “Oh?” he asked coyly.

 

The engineer grinned. “We’ll take turns asking each other questions. Each time I ask you about something, you get to fire right back. What do you say?”

 

His princess chewed on the inside of his cheek as he considered the offer. Tony wanted to smack him, because he knew Loki would consent and was only making a show of his decision to be difficult, but he needed to play along or his partner might actually refuse.

 

“Deal. But I get to go first,” Loki consented.

 

_Bingo_.

 

“Tell me about your parents,” Loki requested, curling his legs underneath him and relaxing into the corner of the sofa with his mug of tea.

 

Tony raised his eyebrows in response and let out a low whistle. “That’s not a question,” he pointed out, receiving only a patient smile in response. “Well… what do you want to know?”

 

Loki shrugged and cocked his head to the side. “Tell me about your mother,” he said softly.

 

Ah, his mother. At least Loki wasn’t starting with the _really_ heavy stuff. “Ah… okay, so… my mom. Well she was a socialite. She was always putting on a benefit, or a dinner for rich people – and I remember that she always smelled good,” he murmured fondly, mostly to himself. He had forgotten about that… the way her perfume would linger on him long after an embrace.

 

Potter smiled at the affectionate way Tony’s lip curled up in a smile he probably didn’t know he was making.

 

“She wasn’t really… I don’t think she was particularly interested in being a mother, but she did love me. I think, more than anything, I _amused_ her,” Tony explained as he settled in. “She always thought I was funny – even when it was inappropriate to laugh, like if I pissed off my father or said something I shouldn’t have to an important person…she would sometimes wink at me.”

 

“That’s sweet,” Loki responded softly. “Was she also funny?”

 

Tony shook his head. “Nah, but she was witty. My dad was always very intellectual and calculating, and I think that he was attracted to how she found her own way to keep up with him…” he trailed off.

 

“How did they meet?”

 

“They started dating in college. I don’t really know the details, though. I _do_ know that the first time my dad asked her out, she said no,” Tony recalled with a grin. “She would tease him about it sometimes…”

 

Loki smiled at his friend adoringly and sipped at his tea. “She sounds nice…I would have liked to have met her,” he murmured, unsure if that was an acceptable thing to say.

 

But the way Tony’s eyes lit up in response said more than words ever would. “She would have liked you… I think my _dad_ might have even liked you,” he mused.

 

“Oh?” Loki asked bashfully before taking another sip of tea and batting his eyelashes innocently.

 

Tony enjoyed that they were openly flirting now, but goddamn did it make him want to lick Loki’s face. “You would have been able to hold your own against my dad. You’re intelligent, you’re insightful, you’re clever…” he trailed off as he gazed at his partner.

 

Yeah he really wanted to lick Loki’s face.

 

“Oh well don’t stop now, you’ve barely touched on my many fine qualities,” Loki teased, smirking to himself as he shifted a bit.

 

The engineer laughed at that and dropped his head for a moment before meeting his desire’s eyes again. “I don’t know, I think I got ‘em all,” he baited.

 

Loki scowled at him and playfully kicked his leg at Tony. “You are horrible,” he chided through a mischievous grin.

 

As he had before when Loki kicked at him, Tony grabbed his friend’s foot and held onto it. “I am. My turn now-”

 

“What? Is that all I get to know about your mother?” Loki scoffed, looking baffled. Or perhaps he was just trying to evade Tony’s turn for questioning.

 

“Loki, plz, if you want to know more about me then just get to know me,” the engineer teased.

 

“Did you just say ‘plz’.”

 

“My turn! How did you come out to your family?” he asked. It was a risk, asking such a question, but it was something he had been curious about ever since their star gazing night.

 

Loki puckered his lips thoughtfully and sipped at his tea. “Well… I think my mother always knew, or had an inkling, anyway,” he began slowly, pausing to drink more. “When I was a freshman in high school, I had a crush on this boy, and he turned out to be this awful homophobe. I came home one day, in _tears_ over something he had said and my mother was trying to comfort me, but without acknowledging the ‘crush on a boy’ business. I think she was very concerned about taking away my right to decide when I wanted to come out, but she was still trying to find a way to be there for me and let me know that I was loved no matter what. Anyway, then _Thor_ came home-”

 

“Oh boy,” Tony interrupted with a tiny smile on his face. The more he learned about Loki’s mother, the more he loved her.

 

Loki raised both of his eyebrows in agreement and sighed. “He _burst_ into my bedroom and started yelling that he was going to kill that boy for what he said and that no one was allowed to talk that way about gay people-”

 

“Did he already know?” Tony interjected once more.

 

This time Loki shot him an annoyed glare. “Well if you would let me _finish_ I will tell you!” he snapped, kicking at his partner again. The engineer had not let go of Loki’s foot and decided this was a good moment to start rubbing it.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled with the same smile as he dug his thumbs into the arch of his princess’s delicate foot.

 

“As I was _saying_ , I tried to save face and asked him what he was getting so upset about, and he just blurted out, in front of my mother, that since his little brother was gay he felt like he needed to set that boy straight. No pun intended,” he smirked.

 

Tony gaped at him. “So _Thor_ outed you to your mom? How did he even know?” he asked, continuing his ministrations with his hands.

 

Loki shrugged. “My mother already knew. She tried to pretend that it was new information, or to let me decide whether or not I wanted to deny it; but I started sobbing and apologizing and she just hugged me and kept telling me she loved me.”

 

Yeah, Tony liked Frigga a lot.

 

“As for Thor, I don’t know _how_ he knew exactly, but he just stood there while I cried and didn’t understand what was happening. He later told me that he had always known I liked boys and just never thought anything of it…” Loki trailed off, realizing what he had just said.

 

“That is the sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Man, Thor really loves you,” Tony murmured meditatively as his fingers traveled to Loki’s ankle.

 

“Yes he does…” Loki agreed softly, as though he had just realized that was the case.

 

“What about your father? How did he find out?”

 

That wiped the sweet smile off of Loki’s face and it was replaced with a scowl. “My mother told him for me, because I was too scared to. To this day we have never had a conversation about it,” he replied tersely, wiping away an imaginary crumb on his leg just so he would have something purposeful to do with his hands.

 

“Seriously?” Tony replied, stilling his movements.

 

Loki shrugged. “I know that he _acknowledges_ it, and he doesn’t actively have a problem with it. But I think it’s something he doesn’t know _how_ to talk to me about so he’s just never tried,” he explained, squaring his jaw a bit.

 

“I don’t like your father.”

 

“I don’t either,” Loki grumbled. “Alright, my turn. Have you ever been in a relationship?”

 

Ah, so they were diving into that territory.

 

“Yes,” was Tony’s infuriatingly simple answer. He waited a beat before grinning, clearly pleased with himself for such _wit_ , and dodged a kick that Loki aimed at him.

 

“You’re an ass,” Loki grumbled. “Alright well-”

 

“Nope! That was your question! My go,” Tony teased.

 

His partner scowled at him, but remained silent nonetheless.

 

“Is this your first relationship?” the older man asked, somewhat nervously. Really, he didn’t want the topic of Fandral tainting their perfectly nice evening, but it was almost inevitable in a game of personal questions when there was so much about Loki’s relationship that he was _dying_ to know about.

 

Loki nodded once and frowned. “But don’t tell anyone that… least of all Fandral,” he mumbled.

 

“I think it’s safe to assume that anything we tell each other right now will stay between us, and I don’t talk to him,” Tony growled.

 

“Agreed. How did your last relationship end?”

 

Tony pursed his lips and frowned. “Well… I dated this girl, Peggy, at the beginning of freshman year and it turned out she liked my roommate better. That’s the short and sweet version,” he answered. It wasn’t painful to reminisce about, but the whole thing was so _stupid_ and it led to Tony’s conflicted views on relationships.

 

“That’s horrible! Did you love her?” Loki asked sympathetically, though not _too_ much because he also chose that moment to wiggle his foot to remind Tony to keep rubbing it.

 

His partner smirked. “No, I’ve only ever been in love with one person,” he answered before immediately realizing what he had said and raging an internal panic attack.

 

“Who?” Loki jumped, suddenly very interested.

 

Tony shook his head. “ _My turn_.” And crap balls he needed to ask Loki something big to distract him from this topic. “What happened with Thor?”

 

His partner’s face fell as he sighed. Tony immediately began rubbing his ankle to keep his princess in a pleasant mood.

 

Loki’s eyes moved to where he was being massaged as he pondered whether or not to answer. Ultimately, though, between their incredible comfort level, his exhaustion at keeping this a secret, and how pleasant it felt to have his friend rubbing him – he conceded.

 

“I found out I’m adopted.”

 

A simple statement, short and sweet.

 

Now his family’s reaction was horrible, and Natasha had been sympathetic, but not as _scandalized_ as Loki would have preferred, but Tony reacted perfectly.

 

His grip on the ankle tightened and he asked the one fucking question that Loki had been so desperate for someone to acknowledge throughout this: “Oh my god… well how do you feel about that?”

 

Maybe Tony was just trying to cover his butt before he ventured an opinion that was unwanted or inappropriate, but it was _exactly_ the right thing to say.

 

The breath he had not realized he’d been holding left him as a wave of relief took it’s place. The voice in the back of his head echoed, _‘Thank you, Tony.’_

 

“I feel really betrayed and hurt. My parents should have told me a long time ago,” Loki replied calmly. He had expected to feel theatrically upset, as he had the night he found out or the morning he told Natasha, but he felt so safe and peaceful in this moment that he found himself speaking genuinely and serenely. He wanted to attribute the stasis to his foot rub (because Tony’s fingers were just unfffff), but he knew it was just the effect his partner had on him.

 

Tony nodded, not to agree but to show that he was listening. “How did you find out?” he asked gently as his thumbs increased their pressure.

 

Loki accidentally let out a tiny, pleased ‘oh!’ at the new force and relaxed himself further into the corner so he could stretch his leg out more into Tony’s lap. “I found my adoption papers in my father’s study,” he answered.

 

“God, Loki that’s awful. I’m so sorry that you found out like that,” the engineer replied sympathetically as he let one hand drop down Loki’s leg to grip the calf muscle that had been thrust onto his lap.

 

“The worst piece of it all was that Thor knew. He’s known for years and he kept it from me,” Loki continued, finding himself melting under the touches.

 

“Intentionally?”

 

Never mind the massage. Fuck Tony and his ability to call Loki on his bullshit.

 

“No… not – well, okay, no. Thor said he _forgot_ about it,” Loki replied. There was yet hope for making his brother sound like a bad guy.

 

“That’s kind of sweet,” the brunet murmured as he scooted closer to his partner to rub more of his leg.

 

Loki glared at him. “ _Sweet?_ How is that sweet?” he hissed, followed by a completely unintentional delighted gasp as Tony’s hands lightly trailed up his leg and sent shivers through him.

 

“He forgot about it because it didn’t matter to him, right?”

 

Fuck you, Tony.

 

Loki scowled. “Perhaps…”

 

Tony smiled and gave his partner’s calf another rough squeeze, not minding at all that he was slowly working his way up the leg. “He loves you, Loki. It was wrong of your parents to keep it from you, but I don’t think Thor meant any harm,” he implored gently.

 

The massage felt too good and Loki didn’t even have the willpower to scowl, instead he relaxed his head and sighed at the touches. “I suppose you’re right… but I’m still upset,” he grumbled.

 

“You have every right to be,” Tony consented. “But… for what it’s worth? And I know this doesn’t matter, and it’s none of my business anyway, but… it doesn’t make a difference to me,” he said unsurely.

 

Loki blinked at him. Tony was right, it _wasn’t_ his business and he _didn’t_ matter… and yet it did. It was nice to hear that he was seen in the same light. “Well, I’m it turns out I’m actually royalty, so you had better get used to rubbing my feet,” he teased.

 

Tony grinned at him and yanked the foot close before tickling it.

 

It made sense that Loki, who was so fucking _sensitive_ , would be extremely ticklish, and it absolutely delighted Tony to see him writhing and giggling on the couch as he tried not to spill his tea.

 

The younger boy quickly placed it on the floor and tried to lean forward to get his partner to let go of him, but instead Tony leaned forward and started tickling Loki’s sides.

 

He let out a shriek of laughter and started swatting at Tony’s head. When it became clear that he wouldn’t, Loki tried to back away and climb of the side of the couch to escape, but Tony lunged and grabbed him around the waist, seizing him back and draping the boy across his lap.

 

The way they landed, panting slightly with flushed cheeks, had Tony with one arm wrapped around Loki’s shoulders, cradling him, and his other hand resting on the man’s slim waist. Loki had his hands on Tony’s chest, prepared to push him away if he tried to tickle further. As they lay there, catching their breaths and gazing at each other with their faces so close, Tony would have _murdered_ to be allowed to kiss him in that moment.

 

Loki would have done the same thing.

 

oooooooo

 

Loki was only able to see Natasha briefly the following day before she had a plane to catch. But in the time allotted to them, they grabbed coffee and she regaled tales of her evening with Clint. From the sound of it, things were going quite well with them. Loki could tell that she was reticent to admit exactly how much she liked the man, but the pink tinge in her cheeks betrayed the depth of her emotions.

 

She was most excited to share stories about their sex life. The friends had discussed her first time weeks before, when it happened, but it had been a fairly surface conversation with both of them too afraid to go into details lest Loki freak out – but this time he dared to press for information.

 

He was incredibly happy for his friend, and he left their meeting infinitely grateful that they were able to slip back into their routine of comfort and gossip, but he was also disturbed by what she had told him.

 

Loki had mustered up the courage to ask Natasha what sex was like for her, while the panic on his face had spelled out that he was not going to return the favor.

 

_“It’s this kind of intense vulnerability, not just because you are naked and allowing someone else to touch and enter your body, but when you let someone into your heart and they know that you feel strongly about them and care what they think and want them to feel the same way about you…_

_It is this terrifying helpless experience. But, at the same time, it is so **wonderful** and **exhilarating.”**_

****

Her words touched him, but uncomfortably so. That was not _at all_ how he would describe his relationship. She didn’t use the words pain, anxiety, fear, obligation, or any synonym thereof! He was strongly beginning to question whether or not his relationship was healthy, but Natasha had only been dating Clint for a few months and she had never had a boyfriend before, so Loki sucked up his anger toward his brother and turned to Thor for his experience with sex.

****

_“It’s incredible having sex with someone when you are in love and they feel the same way. It’s not even just the physicality of it - it’s when you are just sitting next to each other and you want them to be looking at you, and you want to know what they are thinking, and hold their hand and tell them you love them and you know they are thinking the exact same thing about you and it’s all so intense that it makes you want to sob and you know you have the comfort and safety to do so because if you do start crying they will hold you close, wipe away yours tears and love you anyway. It’s wonderful…”_

That had made Loki feel worse. When he spoke to his brother, he was able to empathize with the feelings and thoughts he was describing, but he wasn’t thinking about his boyfriend, and that _really_ upset him. He used to feel that way about Fandral, and as long as they were still together he wanted to.

 

Ultimately, Loki decided that Thor was still young and immature by all accounts and reasons, so he did the most embarrassing thing a young man can do – and turned to his mother for her opinion on sex.

 

He would not have done so, but Fandral had requested something rather heavy as a Christmas present, and Loki was having a very difficult time convincing himself that he should agree to it. If someone would just fucking tell him that sex wasn’t a big deal and that everyone has to do things they are uncomfortable with for the sake of a relationship then he would feel better!

 

But his mother said no such thing. She had taken her child’s hands, looked at him very seriously and given him the most horrifying piece of advice he was likely to ever get from her.

_“Sex should be an expression of love. It’s an act that demands trust, affection, tenderness and passion. It should take place when you are ready, when you are comfortable, and when you **want** it, and it should happen with someone you are crazy about. If you are lucky enough to find someone as crazy about you as you are about them then for god’s sake grab them and fuck each other ‘til you can’t breathe.”_

His eyes were probably never going to come down from their owlish size, and his face would look like it was painted with rouge forever.

 

It was a lot to mull over, and he was not sure how to process his emotions when he was still too afraid to discuss the circumstances of _his_ sex life, or ask any specific questions without drawing unwanted attention to it.

 

But self-loathing is often the loudest voice in a person’s mind. Reason, rationale, and common sense tend to fly out the window when the voice starts talking. Loki could have _“Your boyfriend is raping you”_ tattooed on the inside of his wrist, and he would forget it the moment the voice started talking. It liked to remind him that it didn’t _matter_ that his experience didn’t match those described to him, or that his gut told him that something was horribly wrong, or that he no longer had butterflies for Fandral he just had an uneasy stomach and tears.

 

Self-loathing is a wolf, waiting in the back of the mind, ready to devour the shreds of confidence and security it takes so long to build up or discover. It preys on good thoughts and tears a person down from the inside; so loved ones can’t even see how much they’re bleeding.

 

Loki’s wolf was vicious. It was born of insecurities, self-doubt, and the inferiority that comes from not being the preferred child; the smaller one, the younger one, the _weaker_ one. It fed everyday and it tore away at his self-esteem, making him afraid and unstable.

 

The wolf can be tamed, it can be kept at bay, but it never really dies. Loki is sometimes successful at locking his up, but it’s usually done without him noticing.

 

Which is why he doesn’t realize it happens when he’s with Tony.

 

oooooooo

 

Loki put all thoughts of sex out of his mind for the next week and just enjoyed the break. He texted Natasha his opinions on things, and they caught up on Supernatural together over the phone. He helped his mother decorate their Christmas tree while they listened to carols and danced, like they did every year. He actively avoided his father, and had actually not said more than two words to him since Thanksgiving. He spent the night at Tony’s twice, falling asleep during movies and always the same way; cuddling on the couch.

 

He felt like it was wrong, and he shouldn’t be in that kind of physical proximity with someone who was not his boyfriend, but he kept doing it. The thing that kept him from spending another night at his partner’s house was waking up one morning, hard as a rock, and needing to disappear into the shower to take care of it.

 

It had been his first orgasm in months, and though he cheeks were tinged with shame as the water from his secret admirer’s shower rained down on him and he slid down onto the floor as he knees grew weak from pleasure, it was Tony’s name on his lips as he spilled.

 

It might have been comforting had he known that Tony woke minutes after him in much the same state and had taken to his own shower to do the very same thing.

 

Loki had never touched himself to thoughts of Tony before, and had really never even _entertained_ sexual thoughts about him (since it was a topic he was so uncomfortable with anyway), but his mind had gone wild with possibilities. He imagined that Tony wouldn’t hurt him, wouldn’t force him to his knees, or bend him over on his roommate’s bed – he would use his mouth on Loki (in ways not even his boyfriend would), and when Loki came it was to thoughts of Tony’s mouth where his own hand was.

 

Naturally he was consumed with guilt and the desire to flagellate himself.

 

Tony, on the other hand, had left his shower feeling great. His fantasies involved making slow, sweet love to Loki in some kind of snowed in cave while they spread themselves out in front of a fire on Viking furs.

 

He also pleasured himself to thoughts of Loki in a Japanese schoolgirl uniform bouncing up and down on his dick… but that image he did feel a little guilty about.

 

They had not had a sleepover since the morning of masturbation, but they did see each other again a few days later to go to the _Trail of Lights_ with Thor and Jane.

 

It was a two-mile long walk that wound through a park and was surrounded and covered with Christmas light displays and scenes. Thor and Loki had been going since they were children, and there were photos around their house to prove it, but they usually went with their parents. This was the first year they were fully able to appreciate how _romantic_ it was.

 

The twinkling lights were mesmerizing and it was delightful to try and determine what shapes they were making. It was also so crowded that they took to holding hands in a line to stay together, in some places. But after they burst through their first crowd of people and could have reasonably let go, Tony kept his fingers laced tight with Loki’s.

 

Loki didn’t mind one bit.

 

They walked through the trail like that, hand in hand, stopping only when they wanted to study a particular scene or take a picture, and unbeknownst to the two partners, Thor had been taking pictures of them as they observed the lights.

 

The trail ended with an enormous tree that was thirty feet tall, hollow inside, and wrapped with Christmas lights. The traditional thing to do was to take someone’s hand, use it as balance as the pair spun around in a circle while they looked up at the top of the tree and let the lights make them dizzy.

 

After Tony and Loki had spun around to the point of falling over in a giggling heap (and Thor had stolen several photos of them), the two couples walked over to the enormous Yule Log that burned next to the tree and shared hot chocolate. It was extremely chilly outside, even next to the fire, so Tony had no qualms about looping his arm with Loki’s to share what little body heat they could. He also didn’t mind when Loki rested his head on Tony’s shoulder and sighed contentedly.

 

When the group returned to the Odinson house, because Frigga had hinted that there might be cookies waiting for them, she was delighted to see Tony and insisted that he come over on Christmas Eve and stay with them. It was incredibly generous, since Christmas morning is a time usually reserved exclusively for people who have a stocking hanging over the mantle, but she was almost frightening in her demands and Tony acquiesced gratefully.

 

Tony hadn’t been this excited for the holidays in _years_. Or possibly ever.

 

He had been having a delightful time at their household, even though Loki was being a pain in the ass right now.

 

“We could play _Super Smash Brothers_?” Thor suggested to the group sitting before him.

 

While Frigga was downstairs fixing dinner with her husband, the four college students were in the landing at the top of the stairs, trying to select an activity to occupy them until it was time to eat.

 

They were not able to agree on anything.

 

Well, really Loki _wouldn’t_ agree on anything. He wanted to watch _Pitch Perfect_ and was cranky that no one else seemed to share that interest and therefore remained obstinate about everything else that was suggested.

 

Even Tony was refusing to side with him because it was funny. Jane was down for almost anything, because they knew she really wanted to just disappear into Thor’s room for some tonsil hockey, but she also said that she wasn’t interested in the film.

 

One day Loki was going to kill her.

 

After twenty minutes of his childish antics not getting him anywhere, and Tony quietly cackling on the couch, Loki decided it was time to bring out the big guns:

 

Puppy dog eyes.

 

As Thor put away another movie that his brother had rejected, Loki came to stand beside him, tucked his hands in front of him and did his best to appear small and adorable.

 

“Thor?” he asked in a soft voice.

 

When his brother turned to look at him he immediately jumped a little and glanced at Tony for some kind of back up. All he got was more snickering.

 

“Yes, Loki?” Thor replied, not sure if he was going to be attacked or not.

 

“Can we _please_ watch my movie, big brother?” Loki requested as he made his eyes sad and pouted a bit. It was an unfair technique, and really it shouldn’t have worked, but it was something Loki had used all his life to get his way – and as long as Thor was still feeling guilty for lying, Loki was going to ride that gravy train dry.

 

“Ugh, yes, fine, just put your face back to normal,” Thor growled he bent down to set up the movie.

 

Instantly, Loki’s face brightened with a victorious smile as he went to join Tony on the couch before turning to him with a shit-eating grin that screamed, _‘I get what I want’_.

 

But Tony wanted to keep messing with him. “Um, excuse me? I did not consent to this film,” he said diplomatically, folding his arms over his chest and giving Loki a look.

 

He thought that his partner might smack him, or pout more, and eventually Tony did _intend_ to concede and watch the movie – but what happened next was completely unexpected.

 

Loki’s entire face fell. He looked like a wounded puppy whose ice cream had just been taken from him. His eyes grew wide, his lips parted as though he wanted to speak but couldn’t, and he just looked so _sad_. It was puppy dog eyes plus pouting turned up one hundred percent.

 

“Oh my god! Stop that! We can watch your damn movie, princess,” Tony snarled as he shoved Loki’s shoulder a bit and covered his own eyes.

 

He was rewarded with a mischievous ‘hehehe’. “That’s what I thought, bitch,” his partner mumbled triumphantly.

 

If Thor and Jane were not here, Tony would have pulled Loki against him right then, and held him while they watched the film. Unfortunately the other couple _was_ there, so Tony settled on getting up and sitting on the ground in front of Loki’s feet. The sofa was really intended for two people, and this way Jane would have an excuse to sit on Thor’s lap, but Tony didn’t think Loki would be up for sitting on his.

 

Instead, he leaned back against Loki’s legs and dropped his head against his partner’s knees. “Make my hair pretty,” he joked as he dramatically batted his eyelashes.

 

“And you call _me_ princess,” Loki grumbled affectionately as he began running his fingers through Tony’s hair.

 

And hot fuck if that didn’t feel incredible.

 

Jane let out a contended sigh as she relaxed onto Thor, and the blond wrapped a firm arm around her waist. To an outsider the scene probably looked like a double date, and as far as Tony was concerned – _it fucking was_.

 

Twenty minutes into the movie, the doorbell rang. The Odinson brothers both turned their heads in the direction of the stairs, acknowledging that they should probably get up and see to the noise, but waited on the couch for their mother to call up, “I’ll get it boys! Don’t everyone jump up at once!”

 

Not a second after they had relaxed back onto the sofa did the room immediately tense when they heard the voice of the person at the door.

 

_“You must be Loki’s mother! I’m his boyfriend, Fandral.”_

 

Tony’s heart stopped for a second and he saw red. What the ever-loving _fuck_ was this guy doing at Loki’s house?! He turned and saw that Thor looked just as peeved as he felt, and Jane looked confused by her boyfriend’s sudden change in expression. Thor glanced to make eye contact with Tony, squaring his jaw to show his solidarity and disdain, and then glanced at his brother, who still had his fingers in his partner’s hair.

 

“Did you invite him over?” Thor asked tentatively, taking care to be gentle with the hot button issue. Tony was sure that Thor would have loved to go off, but just couldn’t.

 

The younger of the brothers shook his head and blinked his owlishly large eyes as he slowly moved to get off the couch.

 

Tony stared at Loki’s back as his partner went downstairs to greet his boyfriend. They heard him call a nervous, “Hey! What are you doing here?”

 

Before Thor could say anything, or potentially discourage him, Tony leapt up and went to lie on his stomach so he could peer beneath the rail next to the landing to watch Loki without Fandral seeing him. As weird as it was, Tony knew that this was the first time Fandral was meeting Frigga, and he wanted to see that interaction. Much to his surprise, though, not a moment after he had positioned himself, Thor and Jane appeared by his side to get on their stomachs and act as an audience with him.

 

The moment Loki got to the door, Fandral had scooped him up and planted a long kiss on him. The three heads at the top of the stairs could tell that he was uncomfortable by the way he tensed, probably because his boyfriend was doing this right in front of his _mom_ , but he also did nothing to discourage Fandral’s actions. It was actually Frigga who had to say, through a forced smile and gritted teeth, “Okay, that’s enough,” before the blond put down her son.

 

“He’s so gross,” Jane whispered to Thor, who nodded vigorously as he _glared_ at the boy downstairs.

 

Tony liked these two. They could stay.

 

“Loki, why didn’t you tell me your boyfriend was coming for a visit?” Frigga asked, placing a hand on her child’s shoulder so she could pull him away from his overbearing companion.

 

“It was a surprise,” Fandral interrupted as he moved into the house and slipped his arm around Loki’s waist, despite Frigga’s obvious attempt at separating them. “I just couldn’t stay away from him,” he added through a grin before giving her one of his _dashing_ smiles.

 

Although the upstairs children could not _see_ Frigga’s face, they did hear the tiny, displeased, “Mm,” she let out. “Well, it was lovely to meet you, Fandran,” she said sweetly.

 

“Fandral,” he corrected, his smile only faltering in the slightest.

 

“Okay then,” she replied with that same false saccharine tone before giving Loki’s arm a small squeeze and returning to the kitchen.

 

They saw Fandral watch after her retreating form until she was out of sight before he grabbed Loki, spun him around so he could slam him up against the door, and kissed him roughly.

 

Tony and Thor immediately tensed and jerked with the desire to jump over the railing and beat the ever-living shit out of the boy manhandling Loki.

 

But they _couldn’t_ really, because as soon as Loki said, “Fandral please, my parents are here,” - the blond stepped back and stopped kissing him.

 

“Why is Tony Stark’s car here?” Fandral asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

 

Loki nervously tugged on the hem of his shirt and blinked at his boyfriend. “My mother invited him over for dinner,” he replied uncertainly.

 

Fandral let out a labored sigh and stepped closer, crowding Loki’s space again. “I thought I made it clear that I don’t _like_ Tony Stark,” he growled.

 

Tony opened his mouth to let out an offended response, but Jane elbowed him in his side to keep quiet.

 

“He’s just here for dinner,” Loki insisted as he moved his back away from the door so he could take a small step away from Fandral – changing the view to the upstairs audience so they could see both boys better, instead of staring at Fandral’s back as he pressed Loki up against the door.

 

“Why would your mom invite him over and not your actual _boyfriend_?” he hissed before stepping closer to Loki once more.

 

“He’s an orphan, he doesn’t have anyone to spend-”

 

“That doesn’t mean your family should have to take him in,” Fandral interrupted, rather cruelly.

 

This was a very telling moment in both Loki’s current and future relationship. If he really cared about Fandral’s feelings first, he might have agreed and just gone along with what his boyfriend wanted in the interest of ending their fight. But he wasn’t thinking about Fandral, he was thinking about Tony, and what his boyfriend had just said _offended_ him.

 

“We aren’t _taking him in_ ,” Loki spat. “He’s my _friend_.”

 

But his brief moment of standing up for himself and his partner was quickly shut down when Fandral reached out to grab his hands. “Is he more important to you than me?” he asked, donning a tone of forced sadness. But just as Loki began sputtering and looking horrified, Fandral added, “Because if he is, I can just leave.”

 

“No! No, no, _you’re_ my boyfriend,” Loki answered hurriedly as he stepped closer to the manipulative boy holding his hands. It was not a _direct_ answer to the question, and the three heads noted the way that Loki sidestepped it, but Fandral didn’t seem to catch it. He moved to wrap his arms around Loki’s waist and dipped his head in to nuzzle the boy’s pale, slender neck.

 

“Good,” Fandral purred into the flesh there as Loki tentatively embraced him back. “It would be a shame for us to break up on Christmas Eve.”

 

Fandral could not see it, because of the way his face was buried, but the heads watched Loki close his eyes and bite his bottom lip as he willed himself not to cry at the horribly manipulative and _shitty_ thing his boyfriend had just said. He held Fandral tighter and they heard him let out a shaky breath.

 

Fandral pulled back at the sound and brought one of his hands up to cup Loki’s cheek. “Aw, don’t cry, baby. We _aren’t_ breaking up,” he murmured before leaning in to press their lips together again.

 

Upstairs, the brother and the partner were fucking _livid_. This was _disgusting_ , the way Fandral was toying with Loki’s emotions and manipulating him into thinking that somehow _he_ was the bad guy!

 

Tony hadn’t noticed that his entire body was shaking with repressed rage as he fought not to scream at the blond. No fucking wonder Loki refused to talk about his relationship with anyone – he probably thought Fandral would get mad at him for it!

 

When the blond broke the kiss he stared at Loki for a moment before quietly asking, “Did you have any time to think about my request?”

 

Loki blinked at him and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What request?”

 

Fandral tucked a few strands of hair behind Loki’s ear and answered, “For my Christmas present.”

 

Immediately, Loki blanched and looked panicked. “I – I thought that was a joke,” he replied nervously.

 

The blond cackled in an incredibly unsettling manner. “No, baby. That’s what I want,” he murmured before kissing his lover again. “Are you going to give me what I want?”

 

The heads had no idea what Fandral was talking about, but based on the way Loki looked like he wanted to vomit, they could tell it was something bad.

 

“Um…” he began quietly as he struggled to find words.

 

But Fandral pressed him. “Loki, I know it’s a lot to ask and if you just aren’t ready then we can just take a step back,” he purred cruelly.

 

The heads saw the panic return to Loki’s eyes. “No! I’ll do it,” he replied in an almost squeaky voice.

 

Fandral moved to look at him for a second before stealing another kiss. “You’re the best, baby,” he murmured.

 

Loki made some kind of choked sound in response and it horrified his loved ones.

 

“Alright, well. I just came to see why Tony was here and if you were up for that, and I guess I’ll see you after the New Year for our little _gift exchange_ ,” he said before kissing Loki a final time. “Bye, babe,” he whispered before letting himself out.

 

Loki just stood there, looking shaky and sick. Thor started to get up, making like he was going to go comfort his brother, when _Odin_ of all fucking people rounded the corner and confronted his son.

 

Thor immediately threw himself back down on the ground and whispered, “Oh my god.”

 

“Loki,” Odin greeted.

 

The youngest son spun around like a frightened animal and sputtered at his father.

 

“Who was that young man?” he father asked calmly, clasping his hands together in front of him; it was something he had done when his sons were children and about to be punished.

 

Loki glared at him and squared his shoulders. “That was my _boyfriend_. So sorry that he left before I could introduce you,” he spat bitterly.

 

Odin took it all in stride though and didn’t react to his son’s attitude. “Does he always talk to you like that?” he asked in the same even tone.

 

His son gaped at him, opening and closing is mouth a few times as he made offended sounds and searched for words. “It’s none of your business how he talks to me!” he insisted, somewhat childishly.

 

With the same patient air, Odin narrowed his good eye at his child. “On the contrary, Loki, you are my son and it is absolutely my business if someone is not treating you well,” he explained.

 

“He is treating me fine! You don’t know anything about him – or me for that matter!” Loki shot back, careful not to raise his volume too much, lest his mother come in.

 

“Is he coercing you into giving him a sexual favor?” Odin pressed in the same voice.

 

Loki’s cheeks turned bright red and before he could think to be angry he felt humiliated. “That is none of your business,” he whispered, feeling his breathing become uneven as he lower lip threatened to start trembling.

 

“Coercion is rape, Loki,” Odin continued. “It sounds like-”

 

“Stop it. You stop it – you don’t know _anything_ about our relationship! And the absolute last thing I need right now is you or anyone else telling me how to live my life. You lost that right,” he snarled with as much venom as he could muster.

 

Odin softened at that and unclasped his hands so he could reach them toward Loki. “Loki, you’re my child. If someone is hurting you –”

 

“He _isn’t_!” Loki hissed through gritted teeth. “Stay out of my life,” he growled before turning past his father to head back up the stairs.

 

The heads tore like bats out of hell to get back on the couch before Loki could make it to the top of the stairs. Fortunately, for them, he made straight for the bathroom, shielding his eyes from their view and muttering a hurried, “I’ll be right back,” as he darted past – completely oblivious to their obvious upset.

 

The three adults looked at each other with desperate eyes. Jane had no obligations here, but she felt _horrible_ for Loki. Thor would never treat her like that, and from what she saw it sounded like Odin was right.

 

But Thor and Tony needed to say something. Were it not for Loki’s final words about not wanting people to tell him how to live his life, they would have darted right after him and started insisting that he tell them what was going on, but Thor had also lost his right and Tony was still terrified of making himself an enemy to Loki – especially when he didn’t have all of the facts.

 

Perhaps Fandral wanted something completely unrelated to sex and everyone was making a big deal out of nothing. But Tony _knew_ in his gut that that was not the case. He needed to talk to Loki.

 

A few minutes later, Loki returned with watery eyes and in lieu of taking his former seat, since his partner was now occupying the space, he crawled into Tony’s lap and pulled his knees up toward his chest.

 

The engineer looked uncertainly at Thor, who gave him a small shrug and a perplexed look, before hesitantly wrapping his arms around Loki’s waist.

 

Thor opted not to say anything, from the look on Loki’s face, and instead hit play on the remote.

 

Tony wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention to the film. Instead he was singularly focused on making sure Loki was okay. “Do you need to be alone?” he whispered as subtly as he could into his partner’s ear, unknowing of the way it tickled Loki and sent a shiver down his spine.

 

His princess shook his head and relaxed himself against the engineer.

 

Would that he could just push a button and make everything okay for Loki. Would that he could.

 

oooooooo

 

Jane was in the guest bedroom downstairs, and Tony had the option of sleeping on the living room couch, which was long enough for an adult to lie on comfortably overnight, but he chose to stay on the upstairs sofa. It made him feel closer to Loki.

 

At seven a.m. the next morning, while the rest of the house slept, Tony awoke to see snow falling outside the window. It was still somewhat dark outside, as early morning skies in the winter are wont to be, and it was tinged with the gray that accompanied snowfall.

 

It was beautiful.

 

Since it would be a shame for Loki to miss this, and he had presents, and Tony was a pest, he gathered up his gifts and crept down the hallway to Loki’s bedroom. He reasoned that there was no sense in knocking, and it was more likely to disrupt the rest of the sleeping residents of the house rather than actually wake up his partner, so he quietly opened the door and peeked inside.

 

Stupid, adorable Loki with his cute, fucking face.

 

He was resting on his back with one arm resting next to his head and the other draped across his stomach. His lips were slightly parted as slow, even breaths traveled between them, matching the rise and fall of his chest. His hair, which was still wavy and a curling a bit at the ends from his shower the night before, was loose around his head and Tony ached to run his fingers through it.

 

He set the presents down at the foot of Loki’s bed and gently took a seat next to him, holding his breath hoping that the dip in the mattress wouldn’t wake him.

 

It didn’t.

 

Tony permitted himself to lean forward and lightly brush a few wayward strands of hair out of his partners face, allowing his fingers to linger on those sharp cheek bones as his thumb came to tenderly brush Loki’s skin.

 

He was so fucking handsome.

 

He took his hand off of his friend’s face and moved it to his shoulder. “Loki,” he whispered. “Loki, wake up, it’s Christmas.”

 

Loki slowly opened his sleepy eyes and blinked at Tony a few times before smiling and shifting so he could stretch his arms. “G’morning,” he mumbled.

 

Tony grinned at him and allowed his hand to remain on Loki, enjoying the way he could feel his partner’s warmth through his thin pajama shirt. “I have presents for you,” he baited, nodded to the wrapped gifts at the foot of the bed.

 

That perked his partner up. Loki raised his eyebrows and sat up a bit. “Oh?” he asked, pulling his lips into a pucker and making grabby hands.

 

Tony laughed at this sight and handed the first package over. “Sorry this one’s not wrapped, but this is _good ass_ chocolate. You need to fatten your skinny butt up,” he murmured as he handed the box of confections to his partner.

 

“Funny, Fandral just told me I’ve gained weight,” Loki mumbled to himself as he admired the candy.

 

“He said what.”

 

“Are those for me as well?” Loki asked, ignoring the question.

 

“Loki, you haven’t gained any weight,” Tony said seriously.

 

“Neither have you! Now keep giving me presents,” he demanded.

 

Tony rolled his eyes and handed the larger gift to his princess. Within seconds the paper was in shreds and Loki had his prize.

 

“Aw, a Snuggie!” Loki cried happily as he unveiled his present.

 

“They had one that said ‘Princess’ but I didn’t think you would wear it,” Tony grinned. “But you can custom order them with designs so check it out…”

 

Loki pulled the blanket out of the box and unwrapped it. “YOU GOT ME A TARDIS SNUGGIE?!” he exclaimed, much too loudly for how early it was.

 

The engineer laughed. “I mean it was this or one with a picture of my face, and this is less scary,” he joked, infinitely pleased with how happy Loki seemed with the gift. “I know it’s a silly present, but… I wanted to get you something to hug you for when I’m not immediately available,” he explained quietly. It was true, and he had put _a lot_ of thought into what to get Loki. There were probably better gifts, but the image of Loki wrapped in a blanket with sleeves was too cute to pass up.

 

He smiled fondly at his partner and clutched the blanket to his chest. “I love it,” he said sincerely. “Thank you, Tony.”

 

“This is for you, too,” he said, reaching behind him to retrieve the final gift. It was a CD Tony had burned full of _his_ music that he hoped to continue influencing Loki with.

 

Loki accepted the gift with a tender smile and read the track names which Tony had written out on paper and placed on the inside cover of the plastic case. He may or may not have drawn a crude picture of an otter with a note reading, ‘This mix is _otterly_ amazing’.

 

Loki was probably going to stab him someday.

 

“I have presents for you, as well,” he said, pulling the engineer out of his reverie.

 

“Oh, yeah?” he asked excitedly, waiting for Loki to get up and retrieve them.

 

But he didn’t. He stayed in bed and stared at Tony until he asked, “Do I need to get them for you?”

 

Loki nodded at him and pointed to his desk where there was, in fact, a wrapped present.

 

“The baked goods are yours, too,” Loki said as his partner gathered the gifts. “It’s spice cake, and if you don’t like it – _lie_ and tell me you do,” he teased.

 

Tony smiled at him. “I’m sure I will love it. A doting princess made it for me.”

 

“I will shit _all over you_.”

 

“Come now, Loki, we’ve had this discussion,” Tony grinned as he unwrapped his present. He ignored the glare he received in favor of admiring his gift.

 

It was a handsome, leather bound journal with a mix CD of his own resting atop it. Loki had also written out the track names and artist on paper for him, and upon further inspection Tony saw that he had drawn a stick figure versions of themselves with the Loki figure stabbing Tony and smiling. He had written ‘Stop calling me princess’ above their heads, and the engineer couldn’t hold back the thrilled laughter that burst out of him.

 

“Great minds think alike,” he mused fondly as he set down the disk and opened the journal.

 

“You wish,” Loki teased.

 

A knock on the door startled both of them and Thor poked his head inside. “Loki, come downstairs for presents,” he grumbled, wiping sleep out of his eyes.

 

“Why are you awake?” Loki replied, shocked to see his brother up and moving.

 

“You woke everyone up screaming about a Snuggie,” Thor groaned before turning and leaving.

 

Tony grinned at his partner. “You go downstairs, I’m going to go through your things,” he teased.

 

“Like hell,” Loki replied as he reluctantly climbed out of bed. “I’ll come get you for breakfast after Thor has been showered in his gifts,” he said with a sigh as he stretched once more.

 

Tony would never cease to be impressed with how that boy could _bend_.

 

“I’ll be here,” he replied.

 

Loki smiled at him before turning and going downstairs.

 

Tony looked back to the journal in his hands and saw that Loki had written him a note on the first page.

 

_Tony,_

_Fill this journal with your most intimate thoughts and private feelings, and then hide it in your lab for safe keeping so I can stumble upon it and read everything. As it is, you are boring. :)_

_Merry Christmas,_

_\- Loki_

He laughed softly and smiled at the message. Goddammit he was crazy about this boy. He sat back against the wall and briefly considered getting under the covers when he spotted Loki’s phone charging on his desk.

 

It would be wrong to go through his text messages.

 

It would be wrong to look for evidence that Fandral was a creep.

 

It would be wrong… but – oh look at that Tony was doing it anyway.

 

Loki’s phone was protected with a passcode, but after months of getting to know his partner pretty well it only took him one guess.

 

“Goddammit, Loki,” Tony mumbled to himself as ‘S-H-E-R’ unlocked the phone.

 

Immediately he tapped the message icon and was pleased to see the thread that popped up first was their text conversation. He liked that he was in Loki’s phone as ‘Tony’ with no last name. It seemed more intimate, like there were no other Tony’s, and if there were – _they_ would need the distinction of a last name.

 

He went to the list of all Loki’s conversations and clicked on Fandral’s name. it was irritating that Fandral didn’t have his last named plugged in either.

 

He scrolled up a bit without really looking until he saw a date, indicating the beginning of their most recent conversation.

 

**_Hey baby, I got you something really good for Christmas_ **

****

Tony scowled at the phone as though it had offended him. Fuck you, Fandral.

 

**_Aw, you didn’t have to do that :)_ **

****

Loki, don’t flirt with him!

****

**_I know. But I take care of you._ **

****

Tony hated this man.

 

**_You know what I want for Christmas?_ **

****

He also didn’t like that Fandral didn’t wait for a response.

****

**_Ask and you shall receive!_ **

****

Loki, why would you say something like that?

****

**_Are you sure? I want something kind of big._ **

****

Tony almost stopped reading; even though this was what he had been looking for in the first place, because he could already feel dread creeping into his stomach.

 

**_Of course! What is it?_ **

 

Poor Loki. But what Tony read next made him want to vomit.

 

**_A threesome_**.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Mmmmm, yes. Okay only two more chapters with Fandral. I’ll post a link on my tumblr with the playlists for the CD’s the boys gave each other. 
> 
> Thank y’all for reading!
> 
> ALSO: If y'all are reading as guests on AO3, I'm doing a giveaway of AO3 invitations on tumblr. 
> 
> http://bundtfuck.tumblr.com/post/41679619690/follower-giveaway


	14. Pepper Advice, New Year's Eve, & A Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper counsels Tony, he and Loki attend a NYE party, and they 'talk' about Fandral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have the best readers in the world. You guys are truly incredible and I’m infinitely grateful for the loving feedback. 
> 
> On that note I’m sorry I keep hurting y’all. ;A;

oooooooo

 

“He wants a _what?!”_

 

“A threesome, Pepper. You heard me correctly,” Tony grumbled back to his friend.

 

The day after Christmas he had called her seeking counsel. Although she was at home, enjoying the holidays with her own family, she took the time to dismiss herself from festivities and deal with her harassed sounding friend.

 

God bless this woman.

 

Tony heard sputtering on the other end of the line as Pepper struggled to come up with words. “I know, right?” he added, sounding fatigued. “How do I talk to him about this?”

 

Pepper took a deep breath to calm herself and sighed. “Well, first of all, you need to apologize for looking through his phone and betraying his trust like that,” she instructed.

 

The engineer scowled. “I can’t tell him that! I planned to come up with some clever way to get _him_ to reveal to me what a jerk that guy is and _then_ I could start in with the advice,” he countered.

 

“Oh, yes, because everyone has had such good luck getting Loki to just come out and talk about his relationship,” she retorted.

 

Dammit, she was right.

 

“Listen Tony, you need to apologize to him for this. I understand _why_ you felt the need to do it, and hopefully he will too, but it was still a breach of confidence and trust is _the most important_ thing you are providing for him,” she calmly explained.

 

He let out a labored sigh and dropped his forehead into his hand. “Are you sure he has to know I _intentionally_ looked? What if I heard about it from someone else, or saw it on ‘accident’?”

 

Even through the phone he could sense that she was shaking her head. “Tony, the truth always comes out. He will find out eventually, even if you don’t tell him. So it _should_ come from you, and if you are hoping that he will forgive you for lying, start by being honest!”

 

Damn Pepper and her logic.

 

Tony groaned and slumped back in the chair he was sprawled in. “Alright. I apologize, and then what?”

 

He could hear her thinking. “Well, then you should ask him how _he_ feels about it,” she suggested.

 

“I know how he feels about it!” Tony fired back, petulantly.

 

“No, you do not!” Pepper scolded him. “Look, Tony, you can’t just barrel in there and start telling him how to live his life! The best way to get through to him is to appear as a person whose opinion he _respects_ , and if you want him to respect you then you need to show him the same courtesy.”

 

“But it’s not just my opinion it’s the _right thing_!” he argued, not caring how childish he sounded.

 

She sighed and took another deep breath. “Yes, it _is_ your opinion. Tony, let me ask you something,” she started after a small pause.

 

“What,” he grumped back.

 

“Let’s say your conversation goes well; Loki forgives you for snooping, he doesn’t get mad at your for interjecting your opinion, and you have an honest conversation about it-”

 

“Sounds great,” he interrupted.

 

“I’m not finished!” she snapped.

 

There was a small pause before he added, “Go ahead,” in a quiet voice.

 

Another sigh from Pepper. “What are you going to do if he says he still intends to go along with Fandral’s wishes?”

 

Tony growled. “Well he’s not going to once I talk to him!” he insisted. What the hell kind of question was that?

 

“I’m serious, Tony. He may choose to go along with it anyway and you _need_ to respect that!”

 

“No, I don’t!” he fired back.

 

“Yes, you do! You do not get to carry around the key to some chastity belt _you_ put on him! Who he sleeps with is not up to you!” she declared, still trying to be patient because she knew how much this conversation was hurting her friend.

 

“No, it kind of is! Isn’t it the job of a friend to insert themselves whenever their friend is making a bad decision that they _know_ is wrong?” he countered, feeling awfully pleased with himself for having that point ready. It was that thought that had been getting him through his guilt over looking through Loki’s phone.

 

“Tony, this isn’t the ‘drunk friend at a party who wants to go home with a stranger’ situation. Loki is making a conscious, thought out decision, and he is an _adult_ ,” she explained.

 

He scowled at the phone as thought the device had caused him personal injury. “But you didn’t hear the way Fandral was talking to him! He made it sound like Loki didn’t have a choice!”

 

“Which is why I think you are perfectly justified in bringing your concerns to him and why I hope he forgives you for going through his phone. However, you do _not_ have the right to control him. That would make you no better than Fandral.”

 

Pepper likely intended for that statement to be enlightening, but it landed like a swift blow to his stomach.

 

“Ouch, Pep,” he replied, hoping that his hurt came through in his tone.

 

“I’m calling it like it is, Tony,” she said quietly. “I want him to break up with Fandral, too; but I also want him to go out with you and that won’t happen if you _force_ him to do what you think is best,” she justified.

 

Tony mulled on that for a full minute, chewing his lip and running his hand through his hair before taking a shaky breath and nodding, though she couldn’t see him. “You’re right,” he consented. “I have to be prepared for him to not listen to me…”

 

“Listening and taking your advice are two different things,” Pepper corrected gently. “He may take your words to heart, but have his own reasons for going along with it anyway.”

 

He groaned into the phone for the umpteenth time and dropped his head down into his knee. “So what do I do?” he mumbled.

 

“Well, after you ask him how _he_ feels about it – and actually listen to what he says, don’t just wait for him to stop talking until it’s your turn,” she commanded. “After you ask him, explain to him why you think it’s an unhealthy action, why you are concerned about how Fandral treats him, and most importantly – make sure you illustrate how everything you are saying comes from a place of love,” she expounded.

 

He perked up a bit at that. “You think I should tell him I love him?” he asked brightly.

 

“Oh my god, no!”

 

Tony frowned at the phone again. “Why, not? Maybe _that’s_ the catalyst he needs to break up with that fuckwad!”

 

“Tony, if you tell him that you have feelings for him it completely discounts all credibility that you are acting simply out of his ‘best interest’,” she explained.

 

“How does it do that? If anything it makes my opinion more important because I care about him _more_ than just a friend!” he argued, although based on the way their conversation was going, he expected to be thoroughly shot down in a few moments.

 

“No, if you tell him you have feelings for him then he may assume that you are only discouraging him from Fandral in the hopes that he will go out with you instead,” she replied, calmly.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

 

This time _she_ growled. “Well, _yes_ , Tony! That means he may not actually take into consideration how unhealthy his current relationship is because your words would be coming from a place of jealousy and not one of concern!”

 

Tony scowled. “I am allowed to have feelings for him _and_ be genuinely concerned about his welfare,” he snarled.

 

“ _I know that_!” she said, sounding completely exasperated. “But to _him_ you could risk coming off as a scorned admirer and it is more important that he understand how destructive his relationship is than it is for him to know how you feel.”

 

“What if I tell him and he decides that he would rather be with me?”

 

“What if you tell him and he _doesn’t_?”

 

He paused at that and felt his heart chewing on itself. “I really hate that you’re right,” he mumbled, after a moment. Tony swallowed and took a shuddering breath. “I just… I _hate_ this so much.”

 

“I know,” Pepper whispered sympathetically. “It’s a horrible situation, but you have been handling it very well, so far,” she praised. Tony was pleased to note that her tone was genuine.

 

“I fucking _hate_ the idea of that… _asshole_ touching Loki. I mean – goddammit, when I think about him being _inside_ Loki I just-” Tony felt his voice catch and had to stop, lest he start crying or build the need to actually punch something.

 

“It’s horrible and disgusting, but it will get better,” she promised. “I know, in my heart, that Loki will figure out what a creep he is dating and dump him.”

 

His brain immediately began arguing with her, asking how could she possible know that and what if he doesn’t – but his heart was hurting too deeply to let the words go past his lips. Instead, he mumbled, “I really hope you’re right.”

 

“Hey, Tony? Just, one other thing,” she began nervously before pausing.

 

“Hmm?” he grumbled so that she might continue.

 

“When I said come from a place of love earlier and you said – well it’s just the last time we talked about him you insisted it was a _crush_ so-”

 

“I think I’m in love with him, Pep,” Tony said sadly into the phone.

 

She immediately began _squeeing_ , though, undeterred by his tone. “Oh that is so sweet!” she exclaimed, delightedly. “How amazing! Oh I hope he breaks up with that boy **soon** – oh, Tony, that is amazing,” she gushed.

 

He had moved the phone six inches away from his ear upon her first shriek, over concern for the future function of his ears, but smiled to himself as he brought it back to say, “Thank you,” warmly to her.

 

“How was Christmas with his family?” she asked pleasantly.

 

“We surprised each other with presents and we both made each other mix CD’s,” he replied fondly.

 

She started shrieking again.

 

oooooooo

 

Tony had formed a basic plan of attack for how he was going to talk to Loki, but it required them being face to face. He knew that he had until at least New Years before Fandral would want to collect on his gift, because he had said so at Loki’s house, and in the week since Christmas Tony had been extremely busy with things for his company. Obadiah wanted to see him every day, it felt like, and each time he peppered him with questions about Loki’s father. Each time Tony dismissed him with scathing remarks about the poor excuse for a parent, Obadiah had another fleet of queries ready.

 

As a result of his distractions, Tony was not able to meet his partner again until New Year’s Eve. They had talked about doing something together, and when he called Loki to see what the plan was, it sounded like they (along with Thor and Jane) were going to a party that one of his brother’s teammates was hosting.

 

Tony was only mildly disappointed, because he had hoped on getting Loki alone so they could talk… but he reasoned that they could always do that after the party. Just as long as they spoke before Loki met Fandral.

 

The party itself was actually going quite well. Thor’s teammate had an impressive house with lots of areas for couples to sneak off to. While dancing raged inside, Tony had pulled his partner out on an upstairs balcony with a bottle of champagne he snagged. The boys sat next to each other with their legs dangling over the edge of their perch and passed the bottle back and forth, choosing to drink straight from it.

 

It might have wise to take advantage of the quiet alone time to talk to Loki, but everything was so _pleasant_ that Tony couldn’t bear to risk spoiling the mood. He knew that Fandral wasn’t coming to this party, and kept telling himself that it was okay to put off their talk until later.

 

It was only about ten p.m., which meant that some parties in the neighborhood hadn’t even started yet, but from where they were sitting they could spot fireworks going off in the distance.

 

It was lovely.

 

Loki was currently rambling about something, but for once Tony wasn’t listening. He was completely transfixed by the way his partner’s eyes shone in the moonlight and reflected the explosion of color from the light spectacle in the distance. He saw them closer in Loki’s face.

 

He admired the way his ethereal skin seemed to _glow_ under the white luminescence of the moon above. It was so smooth and unblemished that Tony suspected if he were to press a fingertip to Loki’s cheek, he might see ripples as one would after disturbing the perfect stillness of water.

 

He wanted to lick him.

 

The alcohol was getting to his brain, and plied his mind with dirty, albeit pleasant, thoughts of what he would do to Loki if they were a couple. He entertained fantasies of kissing those eyelids and feeling those dark lashes tickle his chin. He imagined burying his face into Loki’s neck and getting drunk off the smell of his partner as he sucked purple blossoms onto that pretty column of white.

 

Tony ached to reach out and weave their fingers together as he had at the _Trail of Lights_ , but there was no proper excuse for it at the moment. He was _almost_ certain that Loki would allow him to do it, but at the risk of it upsetting his partner he refrained; he couldn’t jeopardize the success of their later talk over his desire to hold hands.

 

The engineer accidentally let out a pleased sigh and his partner turned to look at him. It was absolutely wicked how enchanting he looked tonight. Loki had donned a tight, black, long-sleeved shirt with slits all across the back, and dark skinny jeans that hugged his hips so tightly it made Tony jealous. The style of shirt was apparently ‘ _very popular in Europe’_ , though he rolled his eyes at Loki’s insistence merely for the sake of teasing him. Really, Tony quite appreciated how it revealed teasing slivers of his partner’s achingly gorgeous back; though it did make it even harder to keep his hands to himself.

 

Loki kicked at Tony’s feet with his left boot. “I get the distinct impression that you are _not_ listening to my unbelievably captivating tale,” he drawled.  The alcohol was nuzzling his mind as well, but he had not imbibed nearly as much as his partner.

 

Tony grinned lazily at his princess and shrugged dramatically. “I may have tuned out after the first hour,” he joked.

 

Loki scowled and smacked him before taking the bottle out of the engineer’s hands and taking a generous gulp. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, somewhat indelicately, and gave his partner a pointed look. “You have spoken twice as much as me tonight, and I listened to all of your dumb crap.”

 

Tony laughed heartily and took the bottle back. “That’s true… okay tell me what your New Year’s Eve traditions are,” he requested as a peace offering. This time he would listen. He would definitely not get distracted by the image of Loki’s pretty pink lips had stretched around the mouth of the bottle where Tony’s saliva was… 

 

Potter drew a finger to his chin and tapped thoughtfully as he pretended to muse over his answer. “Well…” he began slowly, “I always write down my first dream of the New Year.”

 

The engineer’s eyebrows lifted in curiosity. “Why?”

 

Loki shrugged. “I think it’s a Japanese custom, because I read about it in a manga when I was younger,” he answered. “What are your traditions?”

 

Tony grinned, he had secretly wanted to answer this question. “I always kiss someone at midnight,” he replied carefully, wanting to sound nonchalant.

 

His partner laughed softly. “Every year? You’re such a playboy, _Mr. Stark_ ,” he purred, lightly nudging Tony’s shoulder with his own.

 

“What can I say? All the men want me,” he joked before drinking again.

 

Loki’s face contorted into a confused expression. “The men?” he asked, surprise bare in his tone.

 

Tony paused his swallowing. He hadn’t meant anything by his statement, as a big reveal or something of the sort, he had simply been thinking about Loki so ‘men’ fell out of his mouth. “Don’t tell me you’re homophobic, Potter,” he said mockingly, playing off what could have been a serious moment.

 

His partner reluctantly smiled and nudged him again. “I just… I didn’t know you were… or that you ever…” he trailed off awkwardly, unsure of what he wanted to say.

 

The engineer deliberately raised an eyebrow at Loki, even though the princess wasn’t looking at him, and grinned. “I’ve never actually kissed another man-”

 

Loki looked at him.

 

“-but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to,” he baited. Flirting was _not_ on his original agenda for tonight, but between the alcohol, the incredible time they were having and the way Loki was practically _glowing_ ….

 

Loki blushed slightly, though it was difficult to notice in the dark, and dropped his gaze again shyly. “Did you have a particular man in mind?” he asked softly.

 

When his partner didn’t immediately answer, Loki lifted his head only to find that Tony’s was inches away from his. The engineer heard Loki’s breath catch and saw his beautiful, owl eyes widen in surprise at the sudden closeness. Tony watched Loki’s gaze dart over his face uncertainly, moving from his eyes to his lips and back again. Potter’s lips had parted to pass shallow, shaky breaths that were anticipatory instead of nervous.

 

Tony wondered if Loki could hear how hard his own heart was beating.

 

He set down the bottle and dared to reach up toward Loki’s face. His partner’s eyes followed the movement of his hand as he took in a bigger, but quiet, gasp of air. Tony gently brushed his fingers along Loki’s delicate cheekbone and twirled a lock of dark hair between his fingers before tucking it behind a downy soft ear.

 

Tony wasn’t a man-whore, but he knew how to be a playboy and was an exellent flirt. He knew how to charm the pants off of people, and could execute a seduction with finesse and class. It was something that being the son of a business executive had allowed him to perfect it over the years. Though he was young, he knew how to calculate an enchanting moment for manipulative or sporting reasons and get what he wanted.

 

But in this moment, every effort was instinctual and _real_. He wasn’t thinking, because if he were he might have noted that this was actually a _bad_ idea, and found that he had never felt more alive in his life. He inched his nose closer to Loki’s and allowed his eyes to mimic the movements of his partners as they darted between the other’s eyes and mouth.

 

The hand that had nestled away the hair lightly traced the outline of Loki’s ear before curling around the lobe and slipping down to his jaw. He paused his thumb to rest to the center of Loki’s chin while his pointer finger came to curl under it. It was a gentle embrace, not forceful or commanding, but grounding and affectionate; meant to do nothing more than encourage Loki to tilt his head up…

 

“Yeah, I do,” he whispered. He saw Loki slip his eyes closed right as his own shut before he leaned in and –

 

“Loki! Are you out there?” came Thor’s voice from inside.

 

The boys sprang apart like they had been shocked with electricity. It was a sobering interruption that left Tony feeling guilty, even more so when he saw how wide Loki’s eyes became and the flustered way he began clearing his throat and fussing with his pants so he could avoid eye contact.

 

“Y-yes, Thor! We’re out here!” he called back, and Tony caught the way he stuttered.

 

Tony couldn’t remove his eyes from Loki and wanted to say something– but a moment later a blond head poked out the sliding door leading to the balcony.

 

“There you are, brother! I wanted to make sure you hadn’t left or passed out somewhere. You two should come inside and dance! It’s fun!” he encouraged enthusiastically before disappearing once more.

 

“Do you want to go inside?” Tony asked lightheartedly, wanting to ease his partner’s discontent, as he rose to his feet.

 

Loki nodded and made to stand, but stumbled a bit in his feverish attempt to do so. Tony reached out and grabbed his hands to stabilize him and continued to hold on even after his partner mumbled an embarrassed ‘thank you’.

 

It was wrong to kiss Loki when he had a boyfriend and when he needed to act as a _platonic friend_ if he had any hope for their conversation going well. But as a businessman, he knew where to find loopholes, especially when it came to morality.

 

“Can I kiss you at midnight?” Tony asked, very seriously.

 

He would never forget the way the fireworks reflected in Loki’s eyes as he nodded breathlessly.

 

oooooooo

 

Loki was conflicted.

 

On the one hand, he _really_ wanted Tony to kiss him; on the other, he felt _incredibly guilty_ for wanting that.

 

No matter how many times he yelled at his brain (and sometimes penis) to stop finding Tony attractive, he couldn’t seem to help himself.

 

He knew that kissing Tony on the balcony would have been wrong – it would have been _cheating_ – but a midnight kiss? That was perfectly harmless, everyone else would be doing the same thing, and besides it was good luck!

 

(Not at all an excuse to exercise sexual frustration that had been fermenting for four months…)

 

The first thing he did, upon reentering the party, was make himself another drink, and a strong one at that. He lingered in the kitchen as he sipped at his beverage and willed the pink tinge of excitement and nerves to leave his otherwise snowy cheeks.

 

He did not have long to spend by himself though, before Tony appeared at his side and gently took his hand. “Will you come dance with me?” he asked jovially, nodding in the direction of the mess of people.

 

Loki nodded numbly and set his empty cup down before following Tony onto the floor.

 

It was much the same fashion as the Halloween party: couples grinding on each other to the tune of Top 40 blaring in their ears. Loki still didn’t like such private displays of intimacy being broadcast for a crowd, and no matter how much sexual tension there was with Tony he did not intend to rub his ass on the engineer’s crotch when his _brother_ was only a few feet away – but Tony didn’t attempt to move him into that position. Instead he placed his hands on Loki’s waist and waited until the younger man uncertainly placed his hands onto Tony’s shoulders, before moving their hips together in the same beat as the song.

 

He may not have been comfortable dancing in front of people, but Loki had rhythm in his bones and positively _melted_ into the way Tony was guiding their bodies together. He still felt a bit silly, looking like this, but instead of the embarrassment and anxiety he felt when Fandral had danced with him (if one could call that _dancing_ ), he found himself having _fun_.

 

He and Tony seemed to have entered into an unspoken competition to out maneuver the other one and Tony actually took his hand and moved to have Loki throw his other arm out and then spin back into his chest, with the engineer’s arm wrapped around his waist.

 

Loki was delighted by the move and found himself laughing as Tony began twirling him before taking both of the princess’ hands and moving their arms to and fro in the same beat.

 

They were dancing like children, or a couple from the fifties as some prelude to a hand jive, and they _loved_ it. Tony would occasionally twirl Loki again, or repeat the move to have him curl against his chest, and he even dared to bury his face into Loki’s neck after one such spin and tickled the sensitive flesh there with his facial hair. The shrill giggle that Loki let out thrilled him to no end.

 

The diva had been taken by surprise by the action, but the second he felt Tony’s mouth there he wanted it to stay.

 

But Tony was a gentleman and removed his mouth after Loki had been properly tickled. Their flirting had gone into a new level tonight, and the engineer needed to make sure he kept things respectful and unaggressive.

 

Loki was laughing delightedly after another twirl when Tony pulled him close and whispered that he was going to grab a drink and would be right back.

 

He remained blushing like a schoolgirl on the dance floor as he watched his partner dart into the kitchen. It seemed wrong that he should be so happy with someone he wasn’t dating, but for once the wolf in the back of his mind was still, and he continued to beam.

 

Until the music stopped and everyone began counting down.

 

“ ** _Ten!”_**

****

**_“Nine!”_ **

****

**_“Eight!”_ **

****

No! Midnight wasn’t allowed to happen until Tony came back! This was their one excuse to kiss each other, guilt-free, and Loki would be severely disappointed if the prospect were to be snatched away from them after being dangled so close!

 

His eyes darted around the room frantically as he counted down with the rest of the crowd, while his heart hammered a call to war.

 

Where was Tony?

 

**_“Seven!”_ **

****

**_“Six!”_ **

****

It wasn’t a big deal. He would get over it. It’s not like they were a couple.

 

**_“Five!”_ **

****

**_“Four!”_ **

****

There was always next year.

 

**_“Three!”_ **

****

**_“Two!”_ **

 

Loki felt someone grab his arm and spin him around.

 

Tony’s lips were on him by **_“One!”_**

 

While the rest of the room screamed and hollered over their excitement for the new year, and kisses were exchanged between shouts and whoops, between the toasts and the cheers and the shots, the noise and the motion, the good and the bad, the black and the white, the right and the wrong, time stood still for the young would-be-couple on the dance floor.

 

Loki had barely the time to suck in a breath before Tony’s own mixed with his. His lips had been parted, as he was in the middle of saying ‘one!’ with the rest of the party, and had never felt such pleasure in having another pair against his own.

 

Tony’s arms had immediately wrapped around and pulled him close as one hand slid in between the slits of the shirt to grasp Loki’s back, and the other cradled the back of his head to tangle in those raven locks. The younger man brought his hands up to cup his partner’s face in a delicate hold. Their eyes shut before their mouths even came together, and pressed so tightly they could feel each other’s hearts hammering.

 

For ten seconds, ten _full_ seconds, they kissed. Neither man made to press his bottom lip against the other’s, or slip in a tongue, but Tony did pull Loki tighter against him as they savored this moment.

 

They each wanted to prolong it; to taste and speak voicelessly into one another until the following new year arrived, but if they let their kiss linger too long they risked spoiling the magic of it.

 

It was a stolen thing, this kiss. It spoke more than the men knew how to, or could say, with words; there was so much desperation and desire they managed to fit into such a tiny act that lasted so briefly that people were still on the first breath of their celebratory screams by the time it ended.

 

But the treasure of their secret made it all the more delicious. A forbidden kiss that was only appropriate under the spell of an annual midnight was an attractive thing, and if they gave into their desires and fell into each other’s mouths they would lose the charm.

 

So they reluctantly let their lips pucker, and pulled away from each other, while their hands stayed in place. Loki felt as though he had never been held like this before, and certainly never _looked_ at like this before. Tony’s regard was fond, tender, affectionate, and so _passionate_ that Loki almost swooned when their eyes met.

 

He could hardly breathe for how hard his heart was pounding. Loki didn’t notice his lips were still parted until he saw Tony’s eyes graze over them.

 

“Happy New Year, Loki,” Tony whispered to him.

 

“Happy New Year, Tony,” he answered back, breathlessly.

 

God, it should have been easier. He should have been able to melt right back into those arms and just suck on Tony’s tongue until it was useless…

 

But he had a boyfriend, and Loki was not going to be a cheater.

 

He smiled at Tony and removed his hands as he shyly dropped his gaze. A moment later, his partner reluctantly removed his own arms.

 

“Do you want another drink?” Tony asked after a moment of silence between them.

 

Loki shook his head, and before Tony could be upset by the rejection, added, “Let’s go watch the fireworks.”

 

The engineer brightened at that and grabbed Loki’s hand, to pull him outside.

 

oooooooo

 

Goddamn did Tony wish that he didn’t have to talk to Loki about this. That kiss had been _amazing_ , short-lived though it was, and he would have preferred to coast for the rest of the evening on that incredibly high note.

 

But he had an obligation to his friend.

 

“Hey… Loki? I need to talk to you about something,” he started uncomfortably as he struggled to remember all of Pepper’s advice.

 

Had he remembered the speech he rehearsed he would not have started with ‘I need to talk to you’ which is the worst string of words a person can say. He realized his error when he saw Loki immediately tense and furrow his brows in concern.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Tony opened his mouth but no words came to his rescue, so he closed it again to avoid looking like an unfed fish. “Ah… well, okay. Look – it’s about your boyfriend,” he sputtered.

 

Loki raised an eyebrow and didn’t relax his body. “What about him?”

 

This sucked already. “Um, okay – wait. Sorry, I forgot everything I wanted to say,” he mumbled as he leaned his head on the railing in front of them.

 

“Have you been preparing a speech for me?” Loki asked, sounding a mix of amused and irritated.

 

“No! No, I just need to talk to you,” Tony sighed and stopped to take a deep breath and compose himself. “First things first. I know you don’t like talking about your relationship, but I think this is really important, so please don’t dismiss me,” he implored through a shaky breath. This was already harder than he anticipated.

 

He shouldn’t have kissed Loki, now he was all distracted.

 

His partner looked extremely uncomfortable with the sudden mood shift, as he had clearly been expecting to pleasantly watch fireworks in peace.

 

When he didn’t say anything Tony took that as the go ahead to continue. “How do you feel about Fandral?” That marked the first time Tony could ever remember actually saying the man’s name.

 

Loki frowned at him as his eyes flashed. “What?” he snapped.

 

This was not off to a great start.

 

Tony fumbled uneasily. “I mean, do you _like_ him?”

 

The eyes he was so fond of gazing into suddenly narrowed at him and he felt rather like an animal that was being preyed upon.

 

“Of course I _like_ him. Why would you ask something like that?”

 

Nope. Not going well.

 

“It’s just – look, the way he was talking to you on Christmas Eve-”

 

Loki threw his hands in the air and let out a strangled noise. “Oh, were you spying with my father? Sorry, next time I’ll make sure to _videotape_ my relationship so you don’t need to strain yourself!” he shouted.

 

“Loki, why are you yelling at me?” Tony asked, trying his very best to sound calm and collected.

 

His friend looked like he wanted to glare, but instead dropped his gaze. “I don’t like talking about my relationship,” he mumbled.

 

Tony took a deep breath and reminded himself to proceed with caution. “Do you think that’s normal? To be this defensive over the topic?”

 

Loki’s head snapped to stare at Tony so quickly he thought it might have snapped. “What are you implying, Stark?”

 

Oh, last names. That’s not good.

 

“You just… you don’t seem very _happy_ with him…”

 

“For your information we are very _happy_ ,” Loki spat back, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“When was the last time he made you smile?” Tony implored.

 

Loki opened his mouth to deliver a snippy reply but immediately chewed on air. Tony could see the anger written on his face, but he knew that he had struck the right nerve this time.

 

“Look, Loki… I _know_ it’s not really my business, but I was really uncomfortable with the way he was talking to you and I needed to ask if you were happy,” he explained, holding back on the point he really needed to make until he could potentially get Loki in a more agreeable mood.

 

His princess closed his mouth and took in a deep breath through his nose, but said nothing.

 

“Loki-”

 

“Why do you care?” his partner interrupted.

 

“What?”

 

Loki turned to look at him with an unreadable expression. “Why do you care?” he repeated.

 

Tony’s face fell a bit. “You’re my friend-”

 

He saw his partner’s expression crumple. “Well my _friends_ don’t seem to understand that my relationships do not fall under their jurisdiction,” he retorted.

 

“I just want you to be happy-”

 

“Who said I’m not?”

 

“You don’t have to!” Tony roared back, finally snapping. “My god, Loki! You walk on eggshells when you’re around him, you’re too anxious to talk about it, it almost cost you _Natasha_ , for god’s sake-”

 

But he stopped his rant at the look on Loki’s face.

 

Tony hoped that in the rest of his life, he would never again be responsible for that face. Loki looked _tortured_. His bottom lip shook in what could have been rage or pain, as he struggled to keep his composure; but his eyes betrayed him as they filled with hot tears and threatened to spill down his cheeks.

 

“Oh, Loki…” Tony murmured softly. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you cry-”

 

“I know my relationship isn’t perfect,” Loki whispered, swallowing hard. “But… I have to take what I can get.”

 

The immediate flush of responses that sprung to Tony’s mind had to be stilled so he could calmly tug at this thread without unraveling everything. “What do you mean?”

 

Loki sniffed and then made a face at himself for doing so. “This is just how it works, Tony,” he replied shakily. “You have to make sacrifices in your relationships.”

 

Tony moved his jaw around as he struggled for words. “What kind of sacrifices?”

 

“Well _happiness_ for one!”

 

That was horrifying. “Loki, are you listening to yourself?”

 

His partner glared at him again. “Yes! But I’m trying to be realistic about how the world works and how relationships work! It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows-”

 

“Loki, you aren’t _happy_! That should be the most important thing,” Tony insisted.

 

“No, _having_ the relationship is the most important thing!” Loki argued as the tears began to stream.

 

That was alarming. That was very, very alarming.

 

“Why is that the most important thing?”

 

Loki let out an involuntary sob as he sucked in an angry breath. “Tony, no one else will ever want me-”

 

“Did he tell you that?” Tony interrupted. His stomach was churning like a hurricane raged inside and he was flooding.

 

His princess shook his head as more tears fell. “He didn’t have to!” he cried.

 

“Why do you think no one else will ever want you?” Tony asked gently, shifting a bit closer to his partner, though it seemed like a poor move to embrace him right now.

 

Loki choked again. “I’m horrible! I’m childish, obnoxious, annoying, weird looking – I mean, come on, Tony just look at me!” he sobbed before burying his face in his hands.

 

But Tony wasn’t having any of that. He gently placed his hand on Loki’s cheek to ask for eye contact, and once it was granted he brought his other hand up to hold his partner’s face.

 

“I _am_ looking at you, and I think you’re wonderful,” he murmured, talking over the tiny cry Loki let out. “I think you are funny, and smart, and clever, and _ridiculously_ handsome, and so, so many other things…”

 

Loki simply shook his head, though. “You don’t understand,” he wept.

 

Tony patiently used his thumbs to wipe away the falling tears and took his own deep breath. “Loki, please look at me,” he requested softly.

 

At first, his princess shook his head again and pouted through his tears; but Tony stroked his cheek a few more times before saying, “Loki,” again.

 

It is a cruel trick of nature that tears should make his eyes shine that much brighter. Were it not for pity, Tony would have admired it.

 

“I know I can’t convince you with just a few words in a couple of minutes, but you are incredible, and you deserve to be with someone who thinks that,” he murmured.

 

Loki stared at him through his glossy eyes as he listened. After a moment he pulled his head out of Tony’s touch and wiped his face with his hands. “That’s kind, but it doesn’t change anything,” he mumbled.

 

“I know, it will take time for you to believe me. But you don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship until you figure out how to love yourself,” he coaxed, gently.

 

“Why do you think it’s unhealthy?” Loki asked thickly, moving to wipe his face some more.

 

“He’s coercing you into giving him what he wants,” Tony replied calmly. “The way he talked to you on Christmas-”

 

“Tony, you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Loki interrupted, sounded agitated again.

 

“Yes, I do, and your boyfriend _guilted_ you into agreeing to it,” he growled.

 

Loki looked offended. “You don’t even know what I agreed to! Stop assuming that everything is horrible! He’s my boyfriend and I _owe_ it to him to give him what he wants for-”

 

“Loki, you don’t _owe_ him a threesome!” Tony yelled.

 

It’s not physically possible for glares to kill people, or cut glass, or shoot lasers, and glares do not have a voice but manage so perfectly so say what the bearer was thinking.

 

Tony had never been afraid of Loki before.

 

“How did you know that,” he asked in the same eerily even tone he had used with his parents the night he found out about his adoption.

 

Tony sputtered pathetically and scrambled his brain. “Loki, I – I was trying, I mean I thought you were in _trouble_ – and-”

 

“How – did – you – know,” he repeated, punctuating his words in such a way that it sent shivers up Tony’s spine.

 

The guilt that shook through Tony was unbelievable. He had fucked this conversation up so badly…

 

“I read your text messages,” he admitted quietly.

 

Loki positively _glowered_ at him, his expression livid. “ _You_ _read my text messages?”_ he repeated on a hiss, his left eye threatening to twitch with how tense it looked.

 

“After he came over on Christmas, I was trying to find evidence-”

 

 _Wrong_ choice of words.

 

“Are you kidding me? I mean seriously are you _fucking_ kidding me?” Loki screamed at him. “Let me get this straight, my family has you over for _Christmas_  and you decide to take advantage of that by going through my phone looking for – _evidence_ – to use against my boyfriend?”

 

Tony felt hot tears of his own building up. “Loki, I’m trying to help-”

 

“No, you’re trying to control me!” his princess snapped back. He clambered to his feet and stepped back from the man on the ground when he tried to reach for him. “I _cannot_ believe that you did that.I _trusted_ you, Tony!” he snarled angrily.

 

“You can still trust me, Loki!” Tony pleaded as he moved to get up.

 

“No, I can’t!” Loki snapped. “You’re the guy who reads my text messages and actively _looks_ for reasons to dislike my boyfriend!”

 

Tony was beginning to panic. This hadn’t just gone badly by way of their conversation, but the way Loki was talking made it sound like their friendship might be over after tonight.

 

“Loki, I respect your right to make decisions-”

 

“You just don’t respect the decisions I make,” Loki snarled at him.

 

Tony blinked. “Exactly!” he replied. “Wait – no!”

 

“I don’t need your _permission_ to make my own choices, Stark,” he spat venomously.

 

He wanted so badly to tell Loki how he felt. To grab him and scream ‘I’m in love with you, please listen to me!’ as a last ditch effort – but he had one last tactic to try before he completely disobeyed Pepper (and she was already going to kill him).

 

“If you decide to go through with it I will still be your friend,” Tony whispered. “I will be here, and I will still care about you…”

 

Loki’s expression didn’t betray softness for even a fraction of a second. He had put up his walls and they were staying up.

 

“I don’t _care_ ,” he hissed through gritted teeth before turning and going back inside.

 

Tony hesitated for a moment as he stared through the glass doors after his partner and watched Loki leave the room to go back downstairs. Reason dictated that perhaps he ought to let the man cool down and be granted space at this moment; but if Loki went and made a dangerous decision because of their conversation then Tony would never forgive himself. He bolted after the boy.

 

He practically threw himself down the stairs and spotted Loki saying something to Thor, likely telling him that he wanted to leave.

 

“Loki, wait!” he called after him.

 

Both Odinson boys looked up at him, but with very different expressions.

 

Tony hurried to his partner and pulled him away from his brother, ignoring the way Loki growled and tried to throw him off.

 

“Let me go, Tony!”

 

He did so immediately. “Look, I am not trying to control you – well, no, okay technically I am – but you need to know that everything I say comes from a place of love. I know I sound like a jerk, and I know I invaded your privacy and betrayed your trust and I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry, and if you decide to go along with it I will still be here and you can call me – but please, this guy is bad news and _please_ , _please_ don’t give him what he wants,” he rushed to spit out, lest Loki silence him before he got everything out. It felt like incoherent babbling, but Loki had a way of making his higher thinking disappear.

 

Loki looked pained and conflicted. His lips were parted as though he wanted to retort but didn’t know what to say.

 

“I promise I am just looking out for you as a friend,” Tony added as quietly as he could while still being heard over the dull boom of the music.

 

Apparently those were not the right words.

 

The internal conflict that had been playing itself out on Loki’s face seemed to have ended, and sadness won. He didn’t look wounded, he looked exhausted, like someone who had been running all day but still had miles to go. In that moment Loki appeared broken and used.

 

“I have to go, Tony,” he said, sounding more disappointed than anything.

 

He watched as his princess went and collected Thor, before departing.

 

Tony had no interest in staying. He needed to go smash something or cry – no matter what he needed loud, distracting music tearing up his eardrums. He abandoned the party and stomped to his car.

 

He stuffed the keys in the ignition like they had done him a personal wrong, and was immediately grateful for the flood of music that greeted him as he car turned on. He had Aerosmith’s new album in and was delighted to hear the scream of the electric guitar and the wail of the vocals.

 

Before he could drive, he wanted to just sit for a moment and collect himself. His heart was still hammering as though it was trying to remind him he was alive. _I get the message_ he thought bitterly. As fast as it was racing, though, it _ached_ inside his chest and he longed to tear it out and scream at it. His brain could do with a lashing, too. He leaned forward and placed his head on the rim of the steering wheel as he let out a long groan. At least he wasn’t crying, that was something.

 

Then the fucking song changed. The comforting end of _Legendary Child_ that so perfectly encapsulated what he needed to hear to calm down, transitioned seamlessly into what had to be the _worst possible_ alternative.

 

_“What could have been love,_

_Should have been the only thing that was ever mean to be,_

_Didn’t know, couldn’t see,_

_What was right in front me._

_And now that I’m alone,_

_All I have emptiness that comes from being free,_

_What could have been love will never be.”_

Just as he raised his head to scream and punch his stereo for it’s obvious display of mockery and assholishness, he saw Loki’s jacket in the passenger seat.

 

They had ridden together, so they wouldn’t have to leave with Thor and Jane, and Loki had brought his jacket so they could go get pancakes after the party.

 

Tony reached over and picked the article up as though he were in a trance. He lightly rubbed his thumb over the leather and wanted to scream. He pulled it up to his head and buried his face in it.

 

It fucking smelled like Loki. His dumb cologne, and his stupid soaps, and that fucking _Loki_ smell that Tony was never able to get out of his head after he fell asleep with his nose buried in his princess’ hair.

 

So much for not crying.

 

As he cradled the jacket and got drunk off the smell of someone who wasn’t with him, he started sobbing.

 

He had failed Loki. He invaded his privacy as a friend, betrayed his trust as a confidant, and came off looking no better than his horrible boyfriend. The worst part was that now he didn’t know what to do. Tony felt like he should still go catch his partner and lock him up until he understood what a mistake it was to be with that boy, but he obviously couldn’t. He couldn’t call him, or show up at his house, or murder Fandral – he couldn’t _do_ anything anymore. He had to wait for Loki to make a decision and pray that his friend forgave him.

 

He needed guidance, even if it was just someone to tell him that things would be okay. It was safe to assume that most people were up at this hour on this night, so Tony dialed without fear of disturbing his friend.

 

“Hey! Happy New Year!” Pepper exclaimed when she answered.

 

He sobbed out a laugh and sniffed. “Happy New Year, Pep,” he replied.

 

“What’s wrong?” she asked seriously.

 

Tony sucked in a deep breath. “I really fucked up,” he got out before he began crying in earnest over the phone.

 

Her advice had been solid, and well thought out. She had been very confident that if Tony followed her instruction that things were likely to go well with Loki and Fandral would be gone within a few days.

 

Obviously Tony did not do things according to her _instruction_ , but she had also not anticipated how defensive Loki would immediately become.

 

And she certainly had no way of knowing that the one thing that could have gotten through to Loki was hearing Tony say that he cared as more than a friend.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I feel like I’m mean to y’all. Next chapter (which I will try to get up by tomorrow), will be the last one where Loki and Fandral are a couple. 
> 
> Real talk: my semester proper begins on Monday and so do rehearsals for my next show. I will try my damnest to keep the up-dates coming every couple of days, but just so y’all know things are about to get crazy. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> *And in regards to the kiss, I know I said a few chapters back that their first kiss would happen at the star gazing - and their first /real/ kiss will. The real one will be when Loki is single and they aren't hiding behind New Year's.


	15. A Threesome, A Breakup, and A Panic Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title sort of covers it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Y’all’s feedback is incredible! Thank you so much!
> 
> I’ve been in a pretty wretched mood today, and the first draft of this sex scene was just ridiculously, unnecessarily cruel to Loki, and then I read it again and went ‘now why are you being like this’ to myself. So this published version is an exasperated second draft, and it reads that way. 
> 
> But Loki’s butt has been spared my mood.

oooooooo

 

Loki couldn’t sleep after the party.

 

He had lied to Thor, claiming that he didn’t feel well and needed to get home immediately, so his brother dropped him off and then went to Jane’s dorm.

 

The first thing Loki did was change into his workout clothes and go for a run. Despite the late hour, and the fact that he was still a little drunk, running usually helped him to clear his head. He slipped out of the house as quietly as he could and took off into the night.

 

He had left his phone at home so that he wouldn’t be disturbed, and when he returned, an hour later, he was somewhat disappointed to find that he had no messages from Tony.

 

Good fucking riddance.

 

The run had not cleared his head. In fact, he had found himself wondering if there was a safe route he could take to Tony’s, and then cursed his traitorous mind for conspiring against him.

 

When the exercise didn’t help, Loki took to his mother’s advice and drew a bath.

 

Unlike the lavatories at school, Loki’s shared restroom with Thor _had_ a bathtub and he was going to spoil himself with a tub of expensive soaps and steamy water.

 

As he let the tub fill and got undressed, he paused to examine himself in the mirror.

 

After Thanksgiving Fandral had commented, _in the middle of sex_ , that Loki looked like he had put on a few pounds. It was the worst possible thing for an incredibly vain person to hear, at _the worst possible_ time. Since then, he had been going for extra long runs, and cutting his food intake – even when he had been sick.

 

But as he turned around in front of the reflective glass and squeezed at the different centers of his insecurities, littered all around his body, he thought that perhaps his boyfriend’s judgments had been a tad unfair. He was actually quite slim, and worked very hard to stay in shape and keep toned. Loki had a naturally long, bony figure and actually had trouble gaining weight. All through his childhood, while Thor packed on muscle and bulk, Loki remained ever the slender, elegant creature. In hindsight, he might have spotted earlier that he and Thor are clearly not biologically related.

 

He ran his hands over the bones protruding from his pelvis and cursed the angular way they shaped his narrow hips. He liked that he could wear skinny jeans and get away with it, but he was just so _slim_.

 

Tony made him feel attractive.

 

Loki stared at his image in the mirror and wondered what he looked like to his partner. When Tony had stroked his cheek and tucked his hair away earlier, what had he felt? Loki brought his own hand up to mimic the movements as mirror-Loki stared back at him with sad eyes. Did he feel soft? Did Tony _like_ touching him?

 

He let his fingers trail over to his lips, where Tony’s had been not hours before. Had Tony been able to taste him? Did he even want to?

 

The fingers trailed down the long line of throat where his partner had tickled him with scruff earlier. It had felt so nice… he wondered what his neck felt like on Tony’s lips. Could his partner smell him, like that? Did he even _have_ a smell? Was it good? Sour? Sweet? Earthy?

 

Loki took a step back from the mirror so that more of his body was exposed.

 

Tony didn’t think he had gained weight. Tony _liked_ getting food with him and splitting desserts. He wondered if Tony found him attractive.

 

Loki slowly let his fingers dance down the pale expanse of his stomach before pausing at the neatly groomed patch of dark hair above his sex. In general, Loki liked being mostly hairless. Excessive hair got sweaty and tended to smell unpleasant, but he didn’t have that problem. His balls were always kept bald, and he liked to keep his pubic bone trimmed down to almost nothing. On more than one occasion, he had actually _waxed_ himself and delighted in the clean feeling for weeks after.

 

Would Tony mind his dark curls? Would he want them natural and wild or absent completely? Loki gazed at the area on his mirror self and imagined that Tony might kiss him there, as a sign of affection.

 

He let his fingers lightly glide over his cock, feeling the soft skin and fleshy vulnerability of his most sensitive organ. Would Tony think he was big? Or thick? Was his penis attractive? Loki would bet that his partner wouldn’t even care. He wondered what it would be like to have Tony between his legs…

 

Loki’s eyes left the mirror and looked down at his feet, which his partner was so familiar with rubbing. He had long, narrow extremities, like the rest of his body, and skinny toes that he was usually self-conscious of. But Tony would play with them, he would lace his fingers with them like he was holding hands with Loki’s foot, and on one occasion he had bitten a pinky toe in an act of defiance at some sass Loki was displaying.

 

Tony made him like his feet. He made Loki think that maybe they weren’t gross and skeletal.

 

He sighed dejectedly before turning the water off and climbing into the bathtub to slip under the bubbles.

 

_Oh god, that’s good_.

 

In his warm cocoon, surrounded by sweet smelling bath salts and suds, in his own tub that he had grown up with – Loki felt safe. As furious as he was with his parents (well, his father at this point), he was extremely grateful that they were just down the hallway.

 

He took a deep breath and dipped his head under the water, lingering under the surface for a moment to pretend that the rest of the world didn’t exist. He slowly exhaled through bubbles and resurfaced, guiding his wet mop of hair out of his face as he did so.

 

Loki felt like crap.

 

The most annoying thing about this evening was that he knew Tony was _right_. Fandral made him feel panicky, unattractive, stupid, and pressured.

 

But even when all sense and reason point to one thing – that _fucking wolf_ just howls over it. It made sense that he should end things with Fandral, regardless of whether or not Tony would be waiting for him, but for people with low self-esteem it can be impossible to conceive of actually breaking up with someone – no matter how horrible they are. They cling to the relationship as something that gives them a sense of value, and purpose. It also takes a lot of courage to end a relationship, no matter how horrible the person, and for those whose self-respect is all but nonexistent, this is viewed as an impossible task.

 

That was how Loki felt. He didn’t have the courage to end things with Fandral because he didn’t have a backbone around him. Tony’s words gave him the only the strength to consider it, not to follow through. Perhaps if he thought that his partner would immediately take him in… but that was also pathetic. Loki knew he shouldn’t _need_ a boyfriend to thrive, and that this kind of codependency was pitiful and childish – but it was his reality. No matter the recognition of the situation, his feelings were still real and they ruled his actions.

 

He soaked in the tub for a long time, getting lost in the scents of the soaps and salts, and trying to ease his mind.

 

Fuck everything. Just, just fucking fuck everything.

 

After he reluctantly left the tub, he toweled off and looked at himself in the mirror again. He really wished he could see himself through Tony’s eyes.

 

Although his mind was in no mood to sleep, Loki pulled on soft pajamas and crawled into his bed. He had forgotten that his Snuggie was tucked underneath all of his blankets, serving as his first cover and line of defense, and he felt tears spring to his eyes.

 

Why didn’t Tony like him? Had he done something wrong?

 

He felt like a fool for misinterpreting his partner’s feelings with that almost kiss and then their midnight kiss… but it had been so _passionate_.

 

Loki curled his blanket tighter around him and buried his head into the pillow. He wanted to listen to Tony’s CD, but he wasn’t in the mood to cry anymore and that would have done the trick.

 

His stomach clenched and his mind chewed on itself as he poured over the evening’s events and tried to make sense of everything. Even though it was very late, his mind was much too awake and active to let him rest, and he spent a long time curled up like that and feeling miserable.

 

oooooooo

 

 He ended up being unable to fall asleep, so preoccupied was his mind and so knotted was his stomach.

 

The smell of a hot breakfast lured him downstairs in the morning, and though anxiety left his appetite lacking, he was in need of a caffeinated beverage after being awake for so long.

 

Thankfully, his mother was the only occupant of the kitchen. Loki had gone above and beyond to avoid seeing his father, lest he be subjected to more unsolicited advice.

 

“Good morning, my little boy!” his mother greeted brightly upon spotting his tousled mop of hair. She briefly abandoned her eggs and walked over to give him a kiss on the forehead. “Did you have a good time at the party last night?”

 

“No,” Loki grumbled as he reached into a cabinet for a mug.

 

“Aw, no. Why not? Did you brother upset you?” she asked sympathetically.

 

The teen sighed and shook his head. “No more than usual,” he answered lamely.

 

Frigga turned around to look at her youngest son and frowned. “What happened?”

 

He uncomfortably avoided eye contact as he poured water into the coffee maker and set about collecting his preferred tea bag. “I had a fight with Tony,” he mumbled.

 

She looked actually horrified at that. “What on earth about? You two get along so well!” she exclaimed.

 

Loki sighed and faced her, leaning back on the counter as he did so. “He… basically it was about Fandral,” he replied. It was honest, but he would rather not go into details.

 

Frigga pursed her lips and frowned. “Hmm.”

 

Loki raised an eyebrow at her. “What?”

 

She shrugged and turned back to the eggs. “Nothing darling. Do you want me to make you an egg in a raft?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

 

He frowned at his mother. “What was that ‘hmm’ for?” he pressed.

 

She continued to face away from him as she scooped the finished eggs onto a waiting plate and pulled out the ingredients to make an egg in a raft. “Do you want your bread in the shape of a star or a heart?”

 

“Mom,” he insisted.

 

Frigga sighed and turned to face her child. “Loki, I don’t love your boyfriend,” she stated simply.

 

Before he could get offended or defensive, she pressed on.

 

“I wasn’t going to say anything, because this is your life and these are your choices, and really I _don’t know him_ … but darling if Tony has a problem with him, too, then maybe that’s worth looking into,” she explained calmly.

 

Loki didn’t have the energy to get worked up, though; especially when he knew she was right. He groaned and turned around to bend over and collapsed into his arms on the counter.

 

He heard her walk over to him and felt a warm hand on his back. “Talk to me, Loki,” she commanded gently.

 

He scowled into the marble and shifted his arms so he could lightly smack his head against it.

 

“Loki.”

 

“I may have a tiny crush on Tony,” he mumbled, speaking as though he were very put upon by the very idea (although he certainly felt that he was).

 

But his mother practically squealed. “Oh, that’s wonderful!” she cried, clasping her hands together delightedly.

 

Loki lifted his head and looked at her like she was crazy. “What?!”

 

“Oh, honey, he’s the one you should be with. Not Furdrur,” she answered happily, reaching out to pet his hair fondly.

 

“Fandral,” he corrected, still completely bewildered by her reaction.

 

“Whatever. Honey, your father told me about the way he spoke to you and-”

 

Loki let out a strangled “gwarh!” and buried his head in his arms again.

 

“Darling, I’m just saying that if this boy you’re with doesn’t make you happy and _Tony_ does, then that’s who you should date,” she explained, lovingly stroking his back as she did so.

 

He sighed and stood up again as the water in the coffee pot finished boiling. “Well Tony is not an option,” he declared sadly, reaching over to make his tea.

 

“What are you talking about? Is he seeing someone?”

 

“No, he’s single. But he’s not interested in me,” Loki replied.

 

Frigga dropped her chin and gave him a look. “ _Loki_. That boy is crazy about you, we can all tell.”

 

His jaw fell open in an offended manner as he gaped at her. “Who is we?!”

 

She shrugged and waved her hand dismissively. “Your dad, Thor, me – darling _everyone_ can tell,” she said exasperatedly.

 

His mouth continued to hang open for a moment as he sputtered. “You talk to _Thor_ about this?!”

 

She scowled. “Of course I do! Just like I asked for your opinions on Jane!”

 

“You only asked me once.”

 

“Well you were very negative, dear,” she replied with a small smile. “Honey, the point is that Tony _clearly_ has feelings for you.”

 

Loki finally closed his mouth and frowned. “On the contrary, he made it _abundantly_ clear last night that he sees me as a friend, and nothing more.”

 

She scowled at him. “That’s not possible. You probably misunderstood him.”

 

He shook his head. “Nope. We even kissed and he-”

 

“YOU KISSED?!” she shrieked, reacting _way_ to enthusiastically for how early it was.

 

“We kissed at midnight, nothing special,” he mumbled, although that was a dirty lie – it was one of the most special moments of his life. “But afterward he explicitly stated that he was ‘just looking out for me as a friend’,” he mocked.

 

Frigga threw her hands up in the air and scoffed at her child. “Well Loki, what do you expect him to say? He’s not going to tell you he likes you as long as you have a boyfriend,” she chided.

 

But Loki was obstinate and deluded. “No,” he answered, shaking his head again and blowing on his tea. “You didn’t hear him. There were several _perfect_ opportunities and if he had feelings for me then he would have said something,” he argued.

 

She took in a deep breath and gazed sadly at her son. “I don’t know what to say,” she replied after a moment. “I really got the impression that he’s crazy about you.”

 

The teen shrugged and took a sip. “Maybe he is, but just platonically,” he mumbled.

 

She frowned. “Hmm.”

 

After he had his tea and his mother forced him to eat two eggs in rafts, which the heart shaped cut outs, she gave him a kiss on the top of his head and squeezed him as he sat at the table.

 

“I love you, darling,” she murmured into his scalp.

 

He awkwardly, because of his positioning, hugged her back and closed his eyes. “I love you too, mom,” he answered.

 

When he went back to his room there were two texts waiting for him.

 

One, from Tony, read: **_I’m sorry, Loki_. **

 

It made his heart skip a conflicted beat.

 

The other, from Fandral, read: **_Let’s do our gift exchange tonight at 10 ;)_**

****

It made him want to vomit.

 

Loki spent the rest of the day curled up in bed, trying to decide what to do.

 

oooooooo

 

Fandral’s front door had never looked so daunting.

 

_This will all be over in an hour. Just one hour_.

 

That was how Loki chose to look at things. If he gritted his teeth and just tried to get through it, he could keep his boyfriend and not feel completely lost. He kept talking himself in and out of refusing to go through with the threesome, but after he felt like he lost Tony he didn’t think he could stand to lose his boyfriend as well.

 

Even his knock sounded scared.

 

Fandral opened the door and grinned at his lover. “Hey, babe. Come on in,” he purred as he stepped aside.

 

Loki weakly smiled at him and stepped over the threshold, feeling like he was walking toward his own execution.

 

His boyfriend closed the door and then pulled him into a sloppy kiss. “Are you ready?” he asked unsympathetically.

 

The younger teen nodded jerkily and began the timer in his head.

 

Fandral placed his hand in the small of Loki’s back and guided them toward his bedroom.

 

The third member of the gift was waiting on Fandral’s bed.

 

Of course it was Thanos. _Of fucking course it was_. Why shouldn’t it be the creepiest person Loki had ever met? Why wouldn’t his boyfriend want him to share his body with someone who had absolutely no respect for him?

 

_One hour. Just one hour_.

 

The other men didn’t know they were on a time limit, but it was the only comforting thought Loki had to get himself through this.

 

“Hey, Loki,” the man on the bed murmured. It was uncanny how he should sound so cruel when he was trying to be seductive.

 

Fandral walked him to the bed and encouraged him to sit down on it. “So baby, basically how this is going to work is I will just tell you what to do, okay?” he explained condescendingly as he stroked his boyfriend’s baby soft cheek.

 

Another jerky nod, and Loki was being pulled in for another kiss.

 

Apparently they had started and that was all the introduction this got.

 

His boyfriend climbed further onto the bed, not breaking the kiss, and pulled Loki onto his lap. His hands ran up and down the smaller man’s sides, and if Loki closed his eyes and pretended hard enough, this could have just been harmless kissing like any other time.

 

But a moment later he felt hot breath on the back of his neck. Thanos began tugging at the sleeves of Loki’s jacket as he breathed a trail of hot discomfort over the younger man’s neck and shoulder. He didn’t make contact with his lips, which was almost worse because it left Loki in this anticipatory, anxious state.

 

Once his jacket was removed, Fandral pulled his lips away to tug off Loki’s shirt – flashing him an excited grin as he did so. After his top half was naked, his boyfriend pulled him in for another kiss as Thanos moved his hands to Loki’s sides.

 

He immediately tensed and let out a strained ‘hn!’ into Fandral’s mouth, completely unnerved by the contact and the fact that he couldn’t _see_ the man touching him.

 

“Aw, baby, don’t you worry. We’ll take care of you,” the blond murmured against him, before going to kiss his neck. He knew that this relaxed his boyfriend, and he didn’t want Loki freaking out this early in the process.

 

It _sort_ of worked. Loki willed himself to respond to the ministrations and give in to the embrace, but Thanos kept fucking _touching_ him, and he couldn’t unclench his body.

 

After a few minutes of kissing failed to yield the desired response, Fandral sighed and guided his boyfriend to lie down. He moved his hands to undo Loki’s pants and commanded, “Lift your hips, baby,” to pull them off.

 

He was exposed.

 

He was laid out like a platter of food, and might as well have been for the hungry looks the other men were giving him. It unnerved Loki to be viewed in such a way, as the desire was not flattering but frightening. As much as he didn’t _want_ the roommates to be naked, it was also disconcerting that he should be so vulnerable, while they remained fully clothed.

 

Once they had him naked, their mouths descended upon him. Fandral moved to nip and suck at his nipples, while his hands got lost in his hair and gripped his side; while Thanos dipped his mouth to bite on his hips and grip his thighs.

 

_God_ it was horrible. He let out a choked cry of pain from the harsh treatment, and whimpered when the men’s response was to bite harder. Loki squirmed under the touches and tried to get his hips away from Thanos, but the man had an iron grip on him.

 

Fandral pulled away, grinning at his  present and ignoring his obvious discomfort as he began to disrobe.

 

Thanos took advantage of being the only mouth on Loki, and moved up to cover him completely with his still-clothed body. Wide and terrified eyes considered him as Loki tried to disappear into the mattress, and turned his imploring gaze to Fandral – though he wasn’t sure what he expected his boyfriend to do.

 

The older man leaned down and began _licking_ his neck, making a strip from his collarbone to his chin. It was an ugly, possessive thing that rather reminded Loki of a dog pissing to mark its territory. There was no passion or desire in Thanos’ eyes, just a cruel delight in how uncomfortable he was making Loki; he behaved as though this was some sort of game.

 

After Fandral had removed his clothes and freed his erection, he stroked himself a few times as he watched his roommate stain his boyfriend in unwelcome saliva. “You look tense, baby,” he murmured, not stilling his hand.

 

Loki let out a strangled yelp when Thanos chose that moment to bite him again, and gritted his teeth against the litany of words threatening to spill from him.

 

“Here, I’ll fuck you first since you’re used to that…” Fandral said as he encouraged his roommate to back up and then guided Loki up onto his hands and knees.

 

This position was _so_ much worse. His breathing became ragged and shallow as he dipped his head onto the mattress and clenched his hands in the sheets. He could feel Fandral rubbing his ass, punctuated by harsh grips of the tender flesh.

 

After a moment, Thanos appeared in front of him, naked, with his cock hard and leaking. He maneuvered so he was sitting with his lap right where Loki’s face had been, and moved a hand up to grip the back of his head.

 

Just as he felt a familiar bit of flesh pressing against his entrance, Fandral murmured, “Suck him off while I fuck you.”

 

The words could have been the last straw, but it was actually the way Thanos looked at him – as though he were prey. Loki shuddered and threw himself to the side, knocking Fandral’s erection away from his nervous body.

 

“I can’t – I can’t, I’m sorry – I can’t do this,” he stammered, looking both apologetic and terrified at his boyfriend.

 

Fandral was staring at him like he’d grown an extra head. “Are you serious?” he replied incredulously.

 

“I told you he wouldn’t,” Thanos mumbled smugly.

 

Loki crumbled a bit and drew his knees up to himself. “I’m sorry, I can’t. This is too… this is too much for me,” he whispered, violently jerking when he felt Thanos’ hand reach out to touch his arm.

 

Fandral blinked at him and sat back. “Wow, um. Okay, I guess that’s your decision…”

 

_You guess?_

 

There was a tense moment of silence where Fandral looked like he couldn’t decide what to do with himself and Loki wanted nothing more than to pull his clothes on and leave, before his boyfriend let out an irritated sigh and climbed off of the bed. “I’ll be back,” he mumbled.

 

…which left Loki naked and alone, with Thanos.

 

He slowly turned his head to the other man, afraid to meet his eye, and hugged his legs tighter as though it actually offered some kind of protection.

 

The look Thanos was giving him was deeply unsettling.

 

“Alone at last,” he purred jokingly, laughing when Loki shuddered and moved away from him. “Aw, little Loki – don’t tell me you’re afraid of me!”

 

When the younger man actually made to get off of the bed, Thanos’ hand snatched out to grip his arm. He ignored the startled cry Loki let out as he yanked him back on the bed and hissed in his ear, “I haven’t given you a reason to be afraid yet.”

 

With a violent jerk and a snarl, he threw Loki down onto the mattress, face first, and climbed on top of him, letting his cock settle in the cleft of the smaller man’s ass. He reached a hand around to close over Loki’s mouth, lest his startled cries alert his boyfriend to the goings on of the bedroom.

 

“I told you I’d be having you at some point, little one,” Thanos growled, as he kneed apart Loki’s legs and settled between them.

 

For his own part, Loki was thrashing and screaming against the hand covering his mouth. He tried to flip himself over as his arms wildly smacked behind him and tried to remove the hand silencing him, but Thanos had him in a death grip.

 

The man above him moved a hand between their hips to try and position himself for penetration, but Loki did have enough wiggle room to prevent it from happening. He had never longed for his boyfriend more.

 

Thank whatever stars above were listening that Fandral reentered the room at that moment. Loki heard him ask, “Um, dude. What are you doing?”

 

Thanos snarled behind him, and the sound sent a shudder up his spine, but didn’t let up on his grip. “I’m opening a present,” he hissed.

 

Loki heard Fandral approach the bed and felt him pulling Thanos off. “Dude, that’s rape. We can’t go there,” he said. “You never go to rape.”

 

The would-be rapist scoffed at him as he reluctantly climbed off of Loki, who immediately scrambled away from him and buried himself in the corner of the bed against the wall.

 

“You already do it!” Thanos snapped at him before glaring at Loki for having the audacity to move away.

 

Fandral dropped his jaw, offended, and glowered at him roommate. “I do not!”

 

Thanos rolled his eyes, looking very put upon. “Yes, you have! You’ve been raping him for months!”

 

“You can’t _rape_ someone you’re in a relationship with!” Fandral insisted, scowling at his roommate like he was an idiot.

 

Thanos gaped at him. “Yes, you can! You’re such an idiot! God this is a serious issue, you should educate yourself,” he reproached.

 

“You’re the one who was actually _going_ to rape him!”

 

“You’ve _been_ raping him for months!”

 

“ _It wasn’t rape!”_ Fandral shouted back.

 

Thanos shook his head at him and turned to Loki, who was clutching his knees tightly to his chest, looking _terrified_.

 

“Loki, settle this argument. Is it, or is it not considered rape when your boyfriend coerces you into sex,” he said.

 

Loki just gaped at them.

 

**What the absolute fuck was happening?!** Were they seriously having this conversation after Thanos had forcibly tried to penetrate him? And having it _in front of him?!_ Loki was mentally incapable of processing all the ‘what the fucking fuck’ going on in this moment.

 

“I didn’t _coerce_ him into sex!” the blond argued before turning to his boyfriend. “Loki, did I ever coerce you?”

 

**What the fuck.**

****

“You coerced him into this,” Thanos pointed out cruelly. “You said he didn’t want to have a threesome and you threatened to break up with him if he didn’t go along with it.”

 

Fandral scowled. “That is not what happened! Loki, tell him that’s not what happened,” he commanded.

 

**Whatthefuck**.

 

He stared at the two men and just started shaking his head, his entire body trembling. “I just want to leave,” he choked out.

 

Thanos snarled at him. “I am _not_ paying him fifty bucks just because you chickened out at the last second,” he growled, jerking his head at his roommate on ‘him’.

 

Say what now.

 

It took a moment for what had just been said to sink in. Loki frowned and turned his attention to his boyfriend. “What?”

 

Fandral glared at his roommate. “You weren’t supposed to say anything, jerk,” he hissed.

 

But Thanos simply grinned wickedly. “Why shouldn’t I? Doesn’t little Loki have a right to know the truth?” he mocked as one of his hands leaned over to stroke Loki’s leg.

 

He shuddered and jerked back away from the touch. “What’s he talking about?”

 

Fandral pursed his lips uncomfortably. “Alright, look. It’s not a _big_ deal, but we had a bet as to whether or not you would go through with this threesome,” he answered, sounding annoyed that Loki wanted an explanation.

 

He gawked at his boyfriend. “ _Not a big deal?!_ You stood to make money off of sharing me with another man?!” he shouted.

 

Fandral rolled his eyes. “Well when you put it like that it sounds bad. I was going to take you to dinner with the money, so really it’s not-”

 

“You’re my _boyfriend_!” Loki interrupted, feeling his pulse race faster and faster each second. His heart was practically threatening to burst out of his chest. “You’re supposed to take care of and **care** about me!”

 

“I do take care of you!” Fandral yelled back, while Thanos looked between them, grinning in a way that made Loki uncomfortable.

 

“But you don’t _care_?” Loki snapped back. He really wished he were wearing clothes right now.

 

His boyfriend sighed. “Loki, I _care_ about you-”

 

“Tell him the real reason you asked him out,” Thanos interrupted, looking positively _proud_ of himself.

 

Loki’s heart might actually punch its way out of his chest. He felt cold dregs climb down his spine and curl around him as he looked back and forth between the roommates.

 

Fandral glared at Thanos for a moment before turning to Loki, his jaw still squared. “We had a bet,” he began, shooting his roommate another look and exhaling deeply before continuing. “He bet me that I couldn’t get you into bed.”

 

What. The. Mother. Fucking. Cunt. Fuck. Wad. Fuck.

 

His heart wasn’t going to break, because he wasn’t crazy about Fandral anymore, but he did feel thoroughly and deeply _humiliated_ and small. His cheeks burned with shame and the wolf in his head started howling.

 

“So you only asked me out-” he had to pause lest his voice crack, “- to sleep with me?” he asked quietly through a shuddering breath.

 

Fandral grimaced. “Well… technically, yeah. I guess.”

 

Loki’s parted lips started twitching and his breathing became ragged. “But we’ve been together for four months! Why?! Why would you stay with me if you got your _fuck_ on the first date?!” he screamed, unable to believe what was happening.

 

His boyfriend’s expression actually softened a bit. “I like sleeping with you! You’re attractive!” he exclaimed sincerely, as though that was actually some kind of defense for his actions.

 

“But you knew how much I liked you!” Loki shot back as the first angry tear accidentally escaped his eye.

 

“Exactly! Two birds, one stone!” Fandral countered, with fucking _conviction_.

 

Loki started at that and glowered at him. “Oh, well my apologies! I didn’t realize you were doing me a _favor_!” he screamed.

 

He felt so stupid; like some kind of ignorant child who keeps eating crayons even though they make him sick. He had been so _blind_ to Fandral’s obvious disinterest and shady behaviors. _Of course_ he didn’t actually care about Loki – he didn’t fucking act like it! He didn’t care if his boyfriend was sad, or stressed, or _sick_ , and the closest he came to showing any kind of attention to Loki outside of the bedroom was when Fandral thought that Tony wanted to fuck his _gamble_.

 

Everyone had been right. Natasha, Thor, his mother, Tony – they had all known and understood, from the beginning, that Fandral was bad news and Loki should associate with him. Why hadn’t he listened? Why did he never ask Thor what he was supposed to expect? Why had he been _cursed_ with Fandral as his first?

 

Why the fuck didn’t he agree to go out with Tony the first time they met.

 

“Loki, you’re overreacting. This isn’t actually a big deal-”

 

Loki’s eyes flashed as hot tears spilled from them into his open and snarling mouth. “No. No, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you, and fuck _you_ ,” he said pointed at his boyfriend and his roommate. “We’re done,” he hissed as he clambered off of the bed, uncaring that he was naked. He tried to keep his breathing under control as he grabbed his clothes and hastily pulled them on while Fandral made bitch faces behind him.

 

“You’re breaking up with me?” he asked in disbelief.

 

Loki whipped around to glare at him as he stuffed his head he stuffed his head through the hole in his shirt. “ _Yes!_ ” he hissed. “I don’t _need_ you! There are people who actually _give a shit_ about me, so I don’t need you doing me _favors!_ ”

 

Fandral laughed at that. “You are being so dramatic! Holy shit, can we not just talk about this like adults? Do you _have_ to pull the crap where you turn everything into a performance?”

 

It was like reading comments on a YouTube video. Loki could not _believe_ what he was hearing. Did Fandral actually take himself seriously? Did he _hear_ the words coming out of his mouth? How do people like this exist?!

 

Loki ceased his frantic movements so he could stand his ground and deliver his next words as forcefully as possible. “I just learned that you only dated me for sex, that you were willing to pimp me out for cash, your roommate just tried to _rape_ me – and you think I’m being theatrical?!”

 

The blond closed his mouth and stared at him. “Alright, I fucked up, but-” he began as he started to his feet and looked like he might try to touch Loki.

 

But the teen was having none of it. He jumped back from the blond, his nerves still screaming and his heart still hammering, and shook. “Stay away from me. _Both_ of you, stay the fuck away from me,” he said shakily, before turning and hurrying out of the apartment.

 

He heard the door slam behind him but he kept running. The only things he had brought with him were his phone, keys and wallet; and unencumbered by extra baggage he sprinted away from Fandral’s apartment complex.

 

Something was happening to him. He knew what anxiety felt like but this was different. His heart felt like it was actually going to explode, and he could hear his pulse raging on his eardrums. It suddenly occurred to him how vulnerable and exposed he was by being outside where _anyone_ could see him. The realization sent a wave of horror through him and he ran as quickly as he could to the nearest building he had access to.

 

Of course it was the engineering building. Of fucking course.

 

It would be humiliating to see Tony right now, but it was unlikely that anyone was in the labs on New Year’s Day. Most students had not even returned to campus, much less returned to their projects.

 

Loki whipped out his identification to enter the building and sprinted downstairs. If he could just get in the lab, he could bury himself in a corner and no one would find him.

 

But when he rounded the corner there was a fucking group of students standing outside of it and talking.

 

He was going to die. There was no other explanation for what he was feeling right now; this was the oncoming of death. He physically _could not_ breathe. It felt like every time he tried to take in air it went straight through him and was swallowed by his heart, which was still hammering so fast he couldn’t believe he was still standing.

 

Loki felt his knees starting to give and he wanted to sob right where he stood, but since he had planted his feet he seemed unable to move them again; though he desperately wanted to be somewhere else.

 

He heard a door close behind him and he closed his eyes. _Just let me die. I can’t move from this spot and I’ll never breathe again so just let me die._  

 

A second later he felt a hand on his arm and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

 

“Hey, let’s go over here,” a soft voice said into his ear, as the hand guided him away from the labs and down another hallway.

 

Loki felt like he was drunk, the way he was moving without the conscious decision to do so. He vaguely understood that this was Tony touching him, but he wasn’t capable of thought at the moment, so distracted was he by his imminent death.

 

He was guided into a small room he’d never seen before, and once he had been lead inside the hand shut the door and sat him down on the floor. At least he was in a place now where people couldn’t see him.

 

Tony kneeled before him and placed both of his hands on Loki’s shoulders. “Hey, hey, Loki?” he asked gently.

 

But even though Loki was looking directly at him he felt like he couldn’t _see_. Did Tony not hear his heart? Was that roar of blood only audible in Loki’s ears? Was the world shrinking into a pinpoint for him, too?

 

Loki let out a tiny, panicked sound and drew his knees up to his chest, burying in his face in it and screwing his eyes shut so that the world couldn’t dissolve around him.

 

_I’m going to die. I’m going to die._

 

A firm hand gripped his shoulder tighter. “Loki, I’m right here. You are safe, nothing’s going to hurt you, I’m right here,” Tony said forcefully.

 

_I’m going to die_.

 

“Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you take a deep breath for me?” Tony asked patiently, not moving his hand.

 

Loki tried. He sucked in the same pathetic, absent air that mocked him, but his lungs threw it right back out.

 

“It’s okay, Loki. Do exactly what you just did. Take in a breath and try to hold it for a second,” Tony commanded in the same careful tone.

 

He did as he was told, and though he was not able to hold his breath for more than half a second, it did seem to be getting easier each time. Tony’s hand remained as an anchor on him, and he kept repeating, “Just like that. You’re doing great. Just breathe.”

 

It might have been ten minutes, it might have been ten hours, Loki had no idea, but when he relaxed his iron grip on his legs he found that he could breathe normally, if a bit shakily, again.

 

He kept his head down as he sucked in the air and relished in how he could actually taste it.

 

The roaring in his ears had disappeared, and he was no longer consumed with his heartbeat, but he still felt like he wanted to crawl into a hole where he was protected on all sides and invisible to harm.

 

“Loki?”

 

“Yes?” His voice sounded so much smaller and higher than he meant for it to.

 

“Hey, what do you need me to do?” Tony probed gently, giving his shoulder another comforting squeeze.

 

“Can you lock the door?”

 

Loki felt the hand leave and he heard Tony stand followed by a tiny ‘click’.

 

“What else?” Tony asked. “Do you need some water?”

 

Loki nodded, still keeping his face buried.

 

“I have to go back to my lab to get it, but I will be right back, okay?”

 

His head actually snapped up at that as he stared at Tony with wide panicked eyes, his breathing starting to pick up again.

 

It was the first time he had looked at his partner since Tony had rescued him. The engineer looked worse for the wear, with bags under his red, sleep-deprived eyes, and an unsure look as though he was afraid of hurting Loki.

 

“You can stay right in here, and I’ll shut the door so no one bothers you. I’m just going to grab you a water and I’ll be right back,” Tony insisted.

 

Loki gave him a shaky nod and buried his face again. He tensed when he heard the door unlock and open, and remained like that until his partner returned not a minute later.

 

“Here,” Tony murmured, after shutting and relocking the door, as he dropped in front of his panicked friend and unscrewed the cap on the bottle of water.

 

The younger man accepted it with a shaky hand and took a small sip. He hated how pathetic he felt right now, but he was comforted by the knowledge that Tony didn’t see him that way. His partner may not be interested in him romantically, but Loki knew that he was cared for by the engineer, and that he was safe here; from danger and judgment.

 

He took another tiny sip and closed his eyes again.

 

Whatever had just happened to him was horrible. He’d never felt anything like it before. He’d been a psychology student long enough to recognize a panic attack, but he never imagined that it would feel so… _real_.

 

He glanced up at Tony and just stared at him with tired eyes.

 

“What do you need me to do?” his partner asked.

 

Loki looked down again. Now that he wasn’t so focused on his mortality, his other senses were coming back to life and he felt gross. He smelled like his boy- ex-boyfriend, and he could still _feel_ every place where the men had kissed or touched him.

 

It was disgusting.

 

“I need to shower,” he said quietly, more to himself than Tony.

 

“Do you want me to walk you to your dorm?”

 

Dear god no. The prospect of showering in a public place, where _anyone_ could walk in on him and he would be so exposed…

 

Loki shuddered at the thought and shook his head.

 

“… do you want to shower at my house?” Tony offered, raising his eyebrows hopefully. He really wanted to be helpful and be of use.

 

The younger man was silent for a moment before nodding.

 

Tony stood and then offered his hands out to help Loki to his feet. “My car is right outside,” he murmured as he took his partner’s arm again and lead him out of the building.

 

Thank god for Tony or Loki would be in a sobbing puddle on the floor in the middle of the basement. Why were those students even there?! Didn’t they know this was a holiday!

 

The moment they were back outside, Loki wanted to turn back around. He felt like he was being watched, and that Fandral or Thanos could pop out at any moment. He clung to Tony’s arm and kept his head down as he hurried toward the vehicle.

 

As soon as he was inside he locked the door again and looked in the backseat, in case someone was hiding there.

 

Tony was looking at him with a mixture of concern and confusion, but when Loki wouldn’t meet his eyes he just started up the car and drove home.

 

As was his nature, he didn’t ask questions, he didn’t demand an explanation, or try to cleverly wheedle information out, he just drove Loki home, grabbed him a fresh towel and some pajamas and told him that he would be in his bedroom whenever his friend was finished.

 

Loki cried in the shower, his cheeks flushing with humiliation. He had never felt this _stupid_ and _used_. He sank down onto the floor of the tiled space and wept. Better to do it in here than out where Tony could see him.

 

He stayed in the shower for far too long, scrubbing himself raw to remove any _trace_ of Fandral or Thanos’ lips, and then when he was done he scrubbed himself again and sobbed some more.

 

He feared that he would never feel clean again, inside or out. His body had been tainted with Fandral’s seed and misuse, but his psyche was the most damaged. This experience had left him feeling more worthless and pathetic than ever before, because he had at least been able to convince himself that Fandral _wanted_ him – and now he knew it was for nothing more than his holes.

 

Why hadn’t he seen this coming? Was he so blind that he couldn’t recognize _rape_ for what it is? Even though he had not answered the question so inappropriately thrown at him earlier, Thanos’ words made him realize it for what it was.

 

Loki sighed as he wiped his tears. It was exhausting, all of the crying he’d been doing; and not just today.

 

He left the shower and slipped on the clothes that Tony had gathered for him, and appreciated that his partner just collected them without a second thought. He liked that he was expected to sleep here.

 

In his mental state, Loki didn’t want to be alone tonight. Actually, he selfishly wanted Tony to stay up all night and keep watch over him, but he wasn’t going to ask for that.

 

As he walked toward his partner’s room he could hear music playing, and a small, fond smile crept onto his face.

 

He entered the room without knocking, and made a beeline for the bed before climbing under the covers.

 

Tony had been in the middle of putting on his own shirt, and it _irritated_ Loki that after this horrible mess of a day, his penis was still interested in what was going on with Tony’s chest. He was too exhausted, mentally and physically, to be aroused right now!

 

The engineer pulled on a shirt and came to join Loki, sitting on top of the covers as he gazed fondly at his partner.

 

“How are you feeling?” he asked sympathetically.

 

Loki shrugged under the covers. “Better,” he mumbled.

 

Tony smiled at him. “You look exhausted, do you want to just go to sleep?”

 

He closed his eyes and nodded, infinitely grateful for what a patient and understanding man Tony was.

 

“Okay, I’ll be just down the hall if you need me,” he said comfortingly before moving off of the bed.

 

Loki’s eyes snapped open. “You’re not going to stay?” he cried as he sat up, feeling rather pathetic about it.

 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “I thought you could use some space… do you want me to stay?”

 

Loki awkwardly dropped his gaze and fingered the comforter. “I don’t want to be alone tonight,” he admitted quietly.

 

His partner moved back to the bed and sat down. “Do you want to talk?” he asked quietly, sounding unsure if he was even allowed to ask such a question.

 

“I promise I will tell you everything tomorrow… but tonight, I just – I need to sleep,” he pleaded, knowing that it wasn’t necessary but wanting to show Tony more courtesy than just saying ‘no’.

 

The engineer nodded respectfully. “Can I get you anything before bed?”

 

Loki shook his head and settled back into the mattress. “Thank you, Tony,” he murmured.

 

Tony smiled at him and then awkwardly made to lie on top of the covers.

 

“You can sleep under here, too,” Loki said. “This is your bed, after all.”

 

“I was just, you know –”

 

“I do know, and you’re awesome for it. But you can sleep under here, too,” Loki replied through a yawn.

 

He felt safer, having Tony next to him, knowing that if some rapist did burst into the room that his partner would jump up and kill it before it could ever touch Loki.

 

There was a complete mess of feelings going on inside him right now. On the one hand, he was disgusted, horrified, humiliated, and ashamed of what had happened with Fandral; but on the other, he felt like a weight had been lifted off of him. No longer would he be subjected to their miserable sex life, or made to feel like he was an object – nothing more than a tight little hole.

 

Loki knew that in the morning he would have a better grip on his anxiety, and that once he had some sleep and was able to think coherently he would actually be able to process what had happened today, but for now his mind was spinning and spent.

 

He felt something lightly grab his hand and opened his eyes to see Tony lacing their fingers together. Loki cocked an eyebrow at his partner, surprised by the action.

 

“Your breathing was getting shaky again, and you seem calmer when I hold onto you,” Tony explained quietly. “I could try to grab your shoulder all night, but then you couldn’t move,” he added with a tiny smile.

 

It was true; there was something comforting and sobering about having Tony just placing a hand on him. Immediately he felt himself breathing easier and his mind putting itself to rest.

 

Instead of answering, he just slipped his eyes closed again and squeezed Tony’s hand in gratitude.

 

He fell asleep not long after, once his heart rate had returned to normal and his breathing had evened out.

 

Tony stayed awake, though he was equally exhausted, and made sure that Loki stayed asleep peacefully. He watched the slow rise and fall of his partner’s chest, and wished against all hell that he could fix whatever was going on. He had a hunch about what happened, but he wasn’t going to torture himself with possibilities until he was actually able to talk to Loki in the morning.

 

The men fell asleep like that, a chaste several feet apart with only their hands touching, but they were instinctively drawn to each other in their sleep. By the time they woke up the next morning, Tony was the big spoon and he was holding Loki tightly against him, with their fingers still laced together, resting over the younger man’s heart.

 

Loki had never felt safer.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading!


	16. Waffles, A Backrub, & Star Gazing Pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki tells Tony what's been going on, Frigga tries to talk to her son, and the boys return for another meteor shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You guys are AMAZING. How did I get so lucky to have such wonderful readers? I would respond to everyone individually with hugs and kisses, but it pads the comment count and it feels dishonest. So here you are: ALL MY HUGS AND KISSES I LOVE YOU ALL!
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to bunnystark, who drew me FANART! I’m still squeeing about this. 
> 
> bundtfuck dot tumblr dot com/post/42689090943/bunnystark-yes-well-more-art-work-for
> 
> and 
> 
> bundtfuck dot tumblr dot com/post/42296937332/bunnystark-these-are-for-bundtfuck-and-her
> 
> Thank you so much bby! 
> 
> Friendly reminder that I am a full-time student in my final semester at college and I have rehearsals that go until eleven pm on weeknights. I will get chapters out as soon as I can :3
> 
> I love you all, thank you for sticking with me so far.

oooooooo

 

Both men slept like babies. Their minds and bodies had been thoroughly exhausted before bed, and as soon as their unconscious bodies wove and cuddled together, they remained wrapped in a sweet embrace and a deep slumber for the rest of the evening.

 

Neither had thought to set an alarm, since it was the holiday, and Tony’s thick curtains were drawn shut to keep the inconsiderate sunlight out. When the engineer awoke, the room was dark and still and gave no indication as to the time; his only hint that it was later in the day was the pleasant, rested feeling he had.

 

He woke up before his eyes opened. Wrapped in his arms was a sleep warm body, breathing slowly and evenly. Before his mind could register all of his concerns about being ‘the good guy’ and respecting Loki’s space, he smiled and buried his face into the disheveled hair in front of him, as he squeezed his arm tighter around that slim chest. Loki smelled like his shampoo and Tony felt his heart skip a beat.

 

The morning erection he sported couldn’t be helped, but he made no move to press it into the cushion of the rear it was pressed against, though it did feel nice having it there.

 

Tony let out a sleepy ‘hmm’ as he shifted his body against the smaller one he was cuddling and slowly blinked open his eyes.

 

He felt _amazing_. God, if he could wake up like this every morning with his senses lost in the intoxicating wonder that was a sleeping Loki, he’d need nothing else in life.

 

The younger man did not stir in his arms, and Tony made no move to wake him. He was perfectly content to stay like this for the rest of the day (or forever, whatever), just losing his senses in _Loki_.

 

He slipped his eyes closed again and, without letting his hands explore, took stock of everything he was feeling and touching.

 

Their bodies fit together so nicely, like puzzle pieces, and Tony could swear that their hearts were beating in sync.

 

It was such a relief to wake and find Loki as peaceful as he was, because last night had been unbelievably horrifying. He had never seen Loki, or really anyone else, in that kind of state before; where he looked like he was locked in his own head and so _scared_. Tony must have conducted himself appropriately, though, because he had managed to calm his partner down without too much trouble.

 

He felt Loki give a small twitch in his arms, before letting out a small groan and elongating his limbs to stretch out the stillness of sleep. The movements had somewhat knocked him out of Tony’s embrace, but much to the engineer’s delight, Loki curled right back into it once he was done.

 

Tony would have liked to lie there without saying anything, to see what else Loki would do when he thought his partner was asleep, but that would be crappy, and he really did want to start talking.

 

He decided to take a chance though, and sleepily nuzzled the back of Loki’s warm neck, murmuring, “Good morning, you,” against it.

 

It was a risky move, but when he felt Loki release a contented sigh and incline his head back further against Tony’s lips, he decided to make another one.

 

Keeping his lips loose, Tony lightly pressed them to the same spot on that neck, and gently moved them over the sensitive skin there. He inhaled deeply, drinking in the scent and wishing he could wholly consume the delicious, almost overwhelming way it made him shudder.

 

Loki shivered lightly and released a soft groan as his back unintentionally arched and drove his ass against Tony’s hips.

 

Both their eyes snapped open in that moment. Tony, because he didn’t want for his partner to feel his erection and think he was making a pass at him; and Loki because he _did_ feel it and was immediately overcome with confusion at _why_ Tony didn’t like him if he was so hard!

 

The engineer quickly pulled his body away, permitting Loki to roll into his back and meet Tony’s eyes.

 

Tony gazed back into those brilliant greens and smiled fondly, momentarily distracted by his aroused guilt. Without thinking, he reached out and tenderly cupped his princess’ cheek as his thumb brushed lazy strokes along it.

 

They gazed at each other silently for a full minute before they were interrupted by an earth-shattering growl from Loki’s stomach.

 

Torn out of their reverie, the boys dissolved into a fit of laughter, all seriousness forgotten.

 

“So I guess I should feed you?” Tony teased.

 

The younger man smiled and nodded. “Or my stomach will eat you, apparently,” he answered.

 

Tony would have liked to dart off to the shower to take care of the problem between his legs, but he needed to get Loki his breakfast.

 

“I’m just going to run to the bathroom,” Loki mumbled in an embarrassed fashion as he slipped out of the bed.

 

Tony watched him disappear into the washroom and smiled after him.

 

 _What a cutie_.

 

With his own stretch and the satisfying pop of joints, Tony left the warmth of his bed and headed to the kitchen to begin preparing food. Sensing a long and potentially unpleasant conversation ahead of him, he elected to spoil Loki with something special: waffles.

 

When his partner finally emerged, still wearing the pajamas, Tony was greasing up the waffle maker and looking very pleased with himself for the idea.

 

“You’re making waffles?”

 

Tony grinned proudly. “You look like you’ve lost weight, I need to fatten you up for the winter,” he joked.

 

Loki smiled at him sadly as he dropped his gaze, and Tony felt his heart clench. Without speaking or asking for permission, he walked over to his partner and wrapped his arms around that slim waist, pulling him into a tight hug.

 

“I’m sorry, Loki,” he whispered earnestly. The way they had left things when they last saw each other, besides last night’s frightening episode, was tense and as far as Tony knew, Loki was still mad at him for venturing an unwanted opinion about his boyfriend and going through his things. That night had been hell, too. After he talked to Pepper, who urged him to apologize again and then give Loki space, he spent all night in his lab. He wanted to distract himself from his self-loathing, and machines were his buddies when no one else was.

 

His friend relaxed into the embrace before pulling away. “I should be apologizing to you,” he murmured, continuing at the stunned look on Tony’s face. “I shouldn’t have been so defensive about Fandral, when you were just looking out for my well-being,” he conceded. “And…for last night…”

 

Tony shook his head sternly. “No, you were right. I had no business telling you what to do, and if you want to date Fandral then I will support you,” he declared.

 

“I broke up with him.”

 

“ _Oh thank god!”_

 

Loki raised an eyebrow in what may have been irritation as Tony pulled him into a bone-crushing hug, before pulling back and assuming a guilty expression.

 

“I mean,” he corrected himself, “Are you all right?”

 

The younger man opened and closed his mouth once before answering, unsure of what the right words were. “Can we wait to talk about it until after the waffles?” he pleaded gently.

 

Tony had never prepared food faster in his life.

 

They ate together at the kitchen table, sitting closer to one another than was necessary. At one point, Tony speared a strawberry with his fork and offered it to Loki with wiggling eyebrows, and after an awkward blush, Loki wrapped his lips around the utensil and sucked the fruit off the tip.

 

It had done things to Tony’s crotch.

 

He was horribly excited. Loki was single! _Loki was single!_ He could finally ask him out! The tiny Pepper voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to proceed with caution and that he shouldn’t do anything rash, but he was just so _happy_.

 

When their waffles were eaten, and Tony noted that Loki seemed to pick at his more than indulge, he cleared the plates, made some tea, and guided his partner back to their favorite couch. The princess curled up in his preferred corner and tucked his legs under him, looking rather like a cat as he did so.

 

Loki looked at his friend unsurely and uncomfortably chewed on his lip as he searched for how to begin.

 

As excited as he was, Tony was prepared to be patient and let Loki set the tone here. He didn’t want to induce another episode like the night before by doing or saying the wrong thing, so he silently waited for his partner to begin as he smiled pleasantly.

 

“I’m sorry,” Loki began, “But this is all really embarrassing,” he mumbled.

 

Tony frowned and shook his head. “It’s alright. I’m not going to judge you,” he answered honestly.

 

The corner of Loki’s mouth turned up as he stared at his tea. “Can you promise me that all of this will stay between us?”

 

“Of course.” The statement was out before the question was finished.

 

Loki smirked and then resumed his somber expression. “Tony, this is important. No matter what I tell you, you cannot do anything or say anything to _anyone_. _No one_. Can you promise that?”

 

Those words were disconcerting, but Tony was a good friend, so he nodded and said, “I promise.”

 

The younger man took a deep breath and began shakily. “Well… first of all I didn’t go through with the threesome-”

 

“Oh, thank god!”

 

“Perhaps I should have requested this before, as well: you can’t say anything until I’m finished, or I won’t be able to get through this,” Loki said seriously.

 

Tony grimaced. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet,” he promised.

 

Loki considered him for a moment before continuing. “I couldn’t go through with it, because Thanos – his roommate – is such a _creep_ , and has always made me so uncomfortable… but the biggest reason was what you said to me. I _do_ deserve to be with someone who cares about me, and Fandral wasn’t acting like he cared…”

 

He paused to search for more words, and Tony continued to listen silently, holding in his thoughts and opinions, but he did smile fondly at his love.

 

“Anyway… I told them I couldn’t go through with it, and Fandral left the room to, do something, I don’t know… and Thanos, um…”

 

From the look on his face, Loki appeared to be regretting telling this story. He took a shuddering breath and Tony heard his voice catch. “He, um… he tried to-”

 

Oh no. Oh _god_ no.

 

Loki was avoiding his gaze, so he could not see the expression of horror on Tony’s face as he brought his hands up to cover his gaping mouth.

 

His partner noticed the movement and immediately donned his owl eyes as he rushed to correct himself and ease Tony’s mind. “He didn’t! Fandral came back in the room and stopped him,” he explained hurriedly. “But, but he told Thanos that ‘you never go to rape’, and then Thanos got defensive and said ‘but you’ve been doing it all year’…”

 

Tony thought he was going to be sick. Loki swallowed thickly and had to stop talking. He took in another shaky breath and met Tony’s eyes. “I didn’t know, I mean I didn’t realize it was…”

 

When it looked like Tony was going to break his promise and reach forward, Loki held up a hand to stop him. “There’s more.”

 

He sat back down and bit his lip to keep from letting words fall out. He wanted to hold Loki so badly.

 

“He only went out with me over a bet with Thanos, to see if he could get me into bed. _That’s_ why I broke up with him. Not the threesome, not the mistreatment, the fact that I thought he didn’t _care._ Which is just so fucking pathetic!” he yelled before his voice caught again and he found himself crying.

 

Tony didn’t wait for permission; he flew across the couch, practically threw Loki’s mug on the ground, and grabbed him. He held Loki tightly as he let his own tears fall and cursed himself for not realizing what was happening. Part of him wanted details, wanted to know _exactly_ what had happened out of a morbid curiosity and the desire to know _everything_ , about Loki, but the other part of him was so disgusted by what he heard that he feared he wouldn’t be able to conduct himself appropriately. 

 

He was going to kill Fandral. He was going to kill them both. They were going to die and Tony was going to kill them.

 

“I’m so sorry, Loki,” he whispered into his princess’ hair, through his own tears, as he rocked the boy.

 

“I feel so _stupid_ ,” Loki sobbed against his chest. “ _Why_ did I think he liked me?!”

 

Tony was about to argue with him, but the crying bundle in his arms pressed on.

 

“This is all my fault!” he wept. “Why did I sleep with him on the first date?! Why did I not listen to my mother? Why couldn’t I recognize _rape_?!”

 

There it was. The worst word Tony could have associated with his darling partner. His stomach was doing summersaults as he cried on his friend and continued to hold him. There was a ringing in his ears as he felt the earth crumble around him.

 

How could _he_ not see what Loki was going through? He had a million thoughts and questions to scream at himself and the universe, but first he needed to address something.

 

He pulled away gently and gripped Loki by the shoulders, fixing him with a hard stare. “This is _not_ your fault. It is _never_ the victim’s fault,” he affirmed.

 

But his friend cried harder at that and shook his head.

 

“Loki, look at me,” Tony ordered as smoothly as he could, trying to keep his wavering voice in check. “Please.”

 

When Loki did lift his head, Tony was filled with a mix of sorrow, rage, and overwhelming love. His heart ached for what had happened, he was _livid_ with Fandral and his roommate for doing this, but he was just so completely in _awe_ of how much he cared about this boy that he found himself smiling.

 

“Loki, you’re the best person I’ve ever known,” he whispered. “This wasn’t your fault, and you aren’t stupid,” he vowed, taking one of his hands and bringing it to his partner’s cheek so he could wipe away the tears. “You are _amazing_ ,” he breathed.

 

Those brilliant green irises stared back at him through pools of tears as they darted around uncertainly. “I feel stupid,” he choked.

 

Tony brushed away more tears and smiled comfortingly. “You’re not,” he promised before leaning forward and placing a loving kiss on Loki’s forehead.

 

It broke Loki once more, and he leaned back against his partner’s chest and quietly wept against him.

 

No details. No more information. Tony pulled Loki against him, wrapped his arms tight around, and let him cry as he whispered endearments and promises that he would be there for Loki no matter what, and that he cared about him.

 

Neither of them knew how to handle themselves right now. For his part, Tony wanted to be supportive and comforting – clearly what Loki _needed_. He wasn’t going to tell Loki about his feelings and make the other boy uncomfortable, he wasn’t going to try and tell him that everything would be okay (because he _hated_ it when people told him that), and he wasn’t going to try and get Loki to stop crying. He knew first hand how embarrassing it was to cry, and when one finds a person they are comfortable releasing like that in front of and baring that kind of vulnerability, it needs to be encouraged – not dismissed. Tony simply held him tightly and wished for the wisdom to do the right thing.

 

Loki on the other hand was a complete mess. His entire world had been turned upside down and he didn’t even know how he was supposed to feel about _himself_ much less everything else.

 

The only thing he knew for certain was that he was grateful for Tony; his anchor, his confidant, and no matter what else – his _friend_.

 

oooooooo

 

Loki would have been content to never come out of his room again.

 

After he left Tony’s, he had been holed up in his bed with nothing but Netflix to keep him company. He waved away his brother when Thor tried to lure him out with food or video games, and didn’t even leave to see Tony again.

 

He was _miserable_.

 

After a week of barely eating, and only doing so when Tony called him to remind him to, his mother came into his room one evening while he was watching _The I.T. Crowd_ and sat down on the edge of his bed.

 

“Hi, darling,” she greeted tenderly as she smoothed her baby’s hair out of his face.

 

He merely pouted at her and grunted. His mother knew that he had broken up with Fandral and that things had ended very poorly, but he was too humiliated to share details with her.

 

“I’ve barely seen you today,” she pressed on as she continued to stroke his hair.

 

Loki sighed and pouted again. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ve just needed a lot of alone time,” he mumbled as he closed his laptop.

 

His mother nodded knowingly and pursed her lips together. “Do you want to talk about anything, sweetheart?”

 

He shook his head and she smiled affectionately at him.

 

“Do you want me to rub your back?”

 

Loki stopped his pouting to consider the offer before nodding and rolling onto his stomach.

 

Frigga laughed at her little boy, for he would always be her little boy no matter how old he got. To her, Loki would always be her baby; the little angel with a tuft of black hair and a toothless smile that lit up her world. She gently rubbed her son’s pale back, he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and paused to examine his various freckles, as mothers are wont to do.

 

She hated to see her boys in pain. With Thor at least it was always easy to pull him out of a rut: food and a bit of spoiling. Loki had always been more complicated, though. He felt things more deeply than Thor, and was much more guarded with his emotions. She had always been close with both her sons, and Loki would usually open up to his mother when something was bothering him, but this time – for whatever reason – he seemed determined to keep his troubles to himself. Frigga knew that this was more than just a break up that was bothering Loki.

 

“Loki?” she asked quietly.

 

He mumbled a response as his face was buried in his pillow.

 

“Should you talk to a professional?”

 

He turned over with a hurt expression on his face and shook his head. “I don’t want to do that,” he answered.

 

“I know, my little boy, but I asked if you _should_ ,” she responded, tucking his hair back.

 

His sad gaze moved from her face as he digested her words. “I really don’t want to,” he whispered, sounding as though he might cry.

 

“You don’t have to, darling,” Frigga said calmly as she resumed caressing his back. “But just know that if you feel you need to, I will make it happen. No one else has to know, okay? And if you would feel more comfortable not telling me, I can leave you a few numbers and deposit money in your account,” she offered.

 

“Thank you, mom,” he answered, but his mother could hear the way his voice hitched, and when she saw his back shake she knew he had started crying.

 

“Oh, Loki,” she cooed sadly as her child rolled over and sat up so he could properly cry on her shoulder.

 

She hugged her son tightly and wished she could will away his pain. If Fandral had done something to her son to make him hurt like this, he was going to lose his testicles.

 

oooooooo

 

True to his word, Tony had breathed about anything to anyone. He encouraged Loki to confide in his mother, lest he go crazy, and to perhaps see a professional so he could help get a better grasp on how to cope with things. Loki also made him promise not to do anything to Fandral or Thanos until he could figure out what he wanted to do. Tony recognized that this was probably more of a desire to put everything behind him and pretend it hadn’t happened rather than a plea for time to make sense of things himself, but he respected it anyway.

 

Now, more than ever, he needed to do what Loki asked of him. He put his feelings on a back burner, and spent the rest of the break researching methods for helping friends who have been in abusive relationships or situations. He didn’t get to see Loki again, because the boy immediately took to locking himself in his room, but Tony did call him everyday to see how he was doing and to encourage him to eat something.

 

After Loki had finished crying, the last time they saw each other, he had divulged more information about his relationship, and one of the things he mentioned was that Fandral had told him he put on weight. Tony thought that certainly, Loki would have realized that this was absolutely not the case, but his partner didn’t see it that way.

 

Tony hadn’t realized how much Loki hated himself. Anything bad that was said about him, he was inclined to believe simply because it was _negative_.

 

That was a much bigger problem, because Tony didn’t know how to _fix it_. As much as he hated to do it, he was pushing Loki toward a therapist who could properly handle such feelings. He wanted to be able to say the right things and convince Loki that he was exactly as amazing as Tony saw him, but he was also terrified of doing more harm than good and further damaging his already fragile psyche.

 

The other horrible thing that Loki had shared with him was the story of his first time with Fandral.

 

Tony cried more than his partner at that.

 

He had clung to Loki and shook as he swore that sex was not supposed to be like that and repeated how sorry he was that such a special thing as his first time was ripped from him and tainted in such disturbing and cruel memories.

 

It was going to be a while before he could tell Loki that he loved him. If he said anything right now, it was just going to mess his partner up further and it would set them up to fail as a couple.

 

But _fuck_ did he want to. He wanted to take Loki on a proper first date and spoil him rotten with attention and presents in some foreign exotic city where no one could bother them. They would share a romantic, candle lit dinner, feed each other desert, go on a moon lit walk, and then Tony would make love to him. He wanted to show Loki how incredible sex could be, how _pleasurable_ it could be. When his partner revealed that Fandral only ever brought him release _once_ it made Tony want to give Loki orgasms until he couldn’t breathe. The engineer sucked it up, though, because even though everything was shitty right now, he believed that one day he would have his face between Loki’s legs and he would show him just how much he was loved.

 

The only thing he really couldn’t stand was how terribly he missed the boy. He was perfectly understanding of Loki’s need for space, but once the term started again he expected to at least _see_ his partner occasionally.

 

The partners did have dinner with Natasha and Pepper after everyone got back. Loki informed him that Natasha knew about the breakup, but not the circumstances or the details, but she did look tickled as hell and kept grinning at Tony throughout the meal.

 

But that had been on the thirteenth of January and since then, he barely saw his partner. Tony knew that Loki was busy with courses, and their project had been sent back to the school’s IRB so he was constantly revising things for that, but they didn’t get to spend time together.

 

Tony was determined to be respectful, though, and backed off.

 

On February 1st, Loki finally texted him and asked if he wanted to get dinner together, and it had been _amazing_. They went out for sushi and ended up talking for four hours, staying until the restaurant manager kicked them out.

 

Loki confided that he had started seeing a professional at the beginning of term, and that he was mortified about it so Tony needed to keep it to himself. But the engineer was relieved.

 

His partner had declined to spend the night, but did agree to accompany him on another meteor shower adventure for his advanced astronomy class on the following Friday.

 

Tony was giddy all week.

 

When the day finally arrived, he loaded up the car just like he had last time; with blankets, a cooler, and a CD that he had made for Loki for Valentine’s Day.

 

If things went well tonight, and if he got the sense that it was appropriate, he was going to ask Loki to be his Valentine.

 

(In a purely platonic sense of course…)

 

He picked up coffees, a brownie for Loki, and headed over to pick up his partner.

 

It was cold tonight, much colder than it had been last time, and that meant they would probably _have_ to snuggle to stay warm. Tony came prepared with a mountain of blankets and an electric space heater with its own generator. He would make sure Loki stayed warm.

 

As usual, his princess was waiting outside of his dormitory, shivering violently despite his thick coat, scarf, and gloves. He practically sprinted to Tony’s car and didn’t wait for it to make a complete stop before he wrenched the door open and threw himself inside.

 

“It is _freezing_!” he screeched as he lunged for the temperature controls on Tony’s car, cranking up the heat as high as it would go.

 

The engineer laughed at the hissy fit and smiled fondly at the pink flush the cold had brought to Loki’s otherwise snowy complexion. “Are you wearing a Slytherin and Ravenclaw scarf?” he asked as he reached for the article of clothing.

 

Loki looked down at the colorful fabric wrapped around his neck and nodded. “My mom made it for me a few years ago. We couldn’t decide which house I was in because I hate people but I’m also very smart,” he answered with a grin as he removed it so Tony could inspect it further.

 

“I would have thought you would have been one of the first people to try out _Pottermore_ and get officially sorted,” Tony teased as he admired Frigga’s handiwork. The scarf was made of soft yarn and the colors were brilliantly woven together. One end had the Slytherin crest, with a very cute snake, and the other the Ravenclaw crest with a very detailed raven. Loki’s mother had clearly put a lot of work into making this scarf for her son. Tony felt a surge of affection for her and smiled.

 

“Oh, you know it. But I think I broke _Pottermore_ ,” Loki responded with a sigh as he pulled off his black, leather gloves. “It took a very long time to process my results, said there was an error, and then never let me log in again,” he grumbled.

 

Tony laughed at the pout on his partner’s face and handed the scarf back to him. “Which house would I be in?” he posed playfully.

 

Loki turned to grin mischievously at him. “Hufflepuff, obviously.”

 

The engineer chuckled and delighted in the way Loki looked so pleased with himself for his ‘clever’ joke. “Oh, I like you,” he mused as he put the car in drive and took off.

 

As they discovered last time, the drive was over an hour to their destination, but Tony didn’t want to fill the time with music. He had been looking forward to this all week, and more than anything he wanted to hear Loki’s voice and know how he was _doing_. But he didn’t want to jump into personal questions, so he started off slowly.

 

“How are your classes?”

 

Loki sighed as he reached for the brownie and began tearing off little pieces of it; just assuming that it was for him. “They’re all right. After this semester I’m almost done with my major, so that’s nice, and I don’t have any classes on Fridays, which is great.” He paused to eat some of the brownie, raising his eyebrows at how tasty he found it. “But I just don’t really _care_ about school right now,” he mumbled.

 

Tony nodded in understanding. “Do you want to keep taking psychology classes after you finish your capstone?”

 

His partner shrugged. “I don’t even really want to take them now. I mean, it’s an incredibly interesting subject, and I’m learning a lot, but it’s all hitting very close to home and it’s uncomfortable,” he answered.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Loki swallowed more of the brownie and grinned awkwardly. “I’m in a course on the dynamics of counseling relationships, and another on the psychology of human sexuality,” he replied. “If I had taken them last semester, perhaps things would have turned out differently.”

 

Eep.

 

Tony winced and looked at his partner apologetically. “Well, it’s uncomfortable but do you feel like it’s helping?”

 

The Slytherclaw shrugged and offered some of the brownie to the driver. “It is, but right now it’s mostly irritating me. It’s confirmed that _yes_ I was in an unhealthy relationship and that I knew even _less_ than I thought I did about sex.”

 

Tony declined the brownie, because that was Loki’s treat, and frowned. “What kinds of things are you learning about sex?”

 

His friend shifted a bit and when Tony turned to look at him, he noticed that pink flush there was not from cold but of embarrassment.

 

“Well… on Wednesday we talked about… um…”

 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “…yes?”

 

“ _Masturbation_ ,” Loki replied, sounding both scandalized and mortified.

 

He really didn’t want to laugh, but oh his partner was just so cute sometimes. “Oh yeah? What are you learning about masturbation? The best ways to beat your meat?”

 

Loki scowled at him and lightly smacked his arm. “ _No_ , well actually yes in some cases, but the point of the lecture was that it’s important to know how to, and be comfortable with pleasuring yourself before you can be vulnerable to someone else’s touches,” he explained, the blush on his cheeks growing darker.

 

“And are you comfortable pleasuring yourself?” It probably wasn’t an appropriate question, but _Loki brought it up_!

 

The princess turned an impossible shade of red and scowled at him again.

 

Tony grinned at the response. “I’m comfortable touching _myself_ , _”_ he offered as a bribe to get Loki to open up about this. “I do it like, once a day,” he added.

 

“Once a _day_?” Loki repeated incredulously. “Doesn’t that desensitize you for sex?”

 

What the whatsack?

 

“What?” he asked, turning to look at his partner with a quirked eyebrow. “Why would that desensitize me to sex?”

 

Loki looked embarrassed. “I thought if you touched yourself too often that you wouldn’t _enjoy_ sex,” he elaborated shyly.

 

“No! That’s crazy! I mean, yeah if you’re jerking it so often that you _chafe_ then you won’t enjoy sex, but rubbing one out everyday is perfectly normal,” he enlightened. “Wait, why? How often do you touch yourself?”

 

The princess flushed darkly at that and turned to stare out the window.

 

“Oh, Loki come on. I told you!” 

 

His partner let out a vexed sigh. “I’ve only done it a handful of times in my _life_ ,” he replied hastily.

 

Tony almost stopped the car. “ _What?!_ Well no wonder you’re so high strung all the time!”

 

The younger man glowered at him. “Excuse you!” he shot back.

 

Truthfully it was actually kind of adorable. If he had not just gone through a horribly traumatic relationship, Tony would have offered to help teach him how to pleasure himself… that would be so much fun…

 

“Sorry, sorry. So… do you know what you like?”

 

Loki went back to pretending to adjust his clothing so he had a distraction. “I don’t – I mean, it doesn’t _matter_ -” he sputtered uncomfortably. “I’ll figure it out later,” he grumbled indignantly.

 

“When was the last time you had an orgasm?”

 

If Tony had known that the last time actually took place in his own home and that Loki had been fantasizing about _him_ , he wouldn’t have put his partner on the spot like that, but as it was Loki just blushed again and dropped his gaze.

 

“I can’t remember,” he lied quietly.

 

“Are you just horny all the time?” Tony asked seriously, with concern instead of judgment in his voice.

 

“I used to be,” Loki answered honestly. “But this year… this year I’ve been too anxious for arousal.”

 

It was an honest answer, but it made Tony’s heart sink, and once again he wanted to bury his face in between Loki’s legs and just make him cum over and over again.

 

But, this was also a perfect segue into the other topic of conversation he really wanted to get into. “Yeah…how’s that going, by the way?” he asked as delicately as he could.

 

Loki shrugged again. “Better. I’m still having trouble sleeping at night and I still _hate myself_ , but I can’t expect for everything to magically get better after a few weeks,” he replied.

 

Tony nodded as he kept his eyes on the road. “But you feel like therapy is helping?”

 

His partner chewed on his lip for a moment and considered his answer. “It’s making me talk about and think about things that I otherwise wouldn’t… so it’s helping in that respect. Though, frankly, I’m still mortified that I’m there at all.”

 

“Why?” Tony asked before taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“I feel like I should be able to figure this out on my own,” Loki replied quietly. “Like I should know enough about psychology to be strong enough to just get over it,” he explained.

 

Tony frowned sadly and turned to observe his princess. “Loki, you know enough about psychology to understand that it has nothing to do with how ‘strong’ you are. Everyone needs help sometimes,” he said gently.

 

Loki sighed and folded his arms. “I know, I know. It’s just… I hate it.”

 

“Well I’m really proud of you for going and talking about this stuff even though it makes you uncomfortable,” Tony declared, keeping his eyes on the road so he missed the way his partner smiled at him.

 

“You could do with some therapy,” Loki added.

 

“Me?” Tony repeated, shocked at the insinuation. “For what?”

 

“Extreme narcissism,” Loki teased.

 

“Oho! Clever boy!”

 

“What can I say?” his partner asked sarcastically with a tiny, pleased grin as he shrugged his shoulders.

 

“You’re a punk,” Tony replied with a laugh.

 

“You love me.”

 

He felt his heart skip a beat as he turned to grin at his princess. “Yeah, yeah I do,” he replied a little too seriously.

 

Cue Loki’s doe eyes. But they had arrived at their destination, so Tony broke the eye contact so he could park. “I know it’s shitty cold outside, but I brought a space heater and lots of blankets,” he explained as he put the top down on the car.

 

Loki let out a harpy-like screech at the sudden drop in temperature and glared at his partner. “Why are you doing this to me?!”

 

“Don’t you want to see the comets?”

 

“I want to cut you open like a Ton Ton and use your innards for warmth,” Loki hissed as he climbed into the back seat.

 

Tony let out an appreciative laugh as he set up the space heater and pulled the blankets out of the trunk.

 

“Hey…” Loki began quietly as he rummaged in his bag for something. “I made you a CD,” he said as he pulled it out.

 

“Oh, awesome, thank you!” Tony cried as he took it from his partner. As with last time, Loki had written out the track titles and artists on the inside jacket, and had adorned the front with a poem, written with what looked like a calligraphy pen, that read:

 

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Call me princess again,_

_And I’ll fucking stab you._

The bellow of laughter that erupted from Tony was so powerful that it left him doubled over and gasping for breath against the harsh chill of the winter air. “This is fantastic, thank you,” he panted as he wiped his eyes.

 

Loki smiled, looking pleased with himself. “There’s a lot of romantic songs, but it’s a Valentine’s mix, so… you know, don’t read into it…” he mumbled as he started to cocoon himself in blankets.

 

“Well it just so happens that I made one for you as well,” Tony answered as he went to retrieve the gift before handing it to Loki.

 

His otter had been well received last time, and for this present he chose to draw a polar bear holding a heart, and wrote above it “You’re _beary_ cute!”

 

He was fucking proud of it. Polar bears are fucking hard to draw.

 

“Oh, let’s listen to yours first!” Loki exclaimed from his bundle of covers. Excited Loki-burrito was even cuter than fussy Loki-burrito.

 

Tony grinned and popped the disc in before climbing back to curl up against his partner. “Do you want to share body warmth like last time?” he asked, thinking that was safer than ‘plz come cuddle with me’.

 

The burrito nodded and moved to sit next to his partner. They sat down on one of the larger blankets and wrapped it around both of their shoulders before pulling the rest on top of them as they stayed directly in front of the space heater, which was perched on top of the console in between the two front seats.

 

Once they were properly bundled, Loki leaned against his partner and released a contented sigh as Tony’s arms slipped around him. Had his partner not curled so close, the engineer would have steered clear of such a move – but his new policy was to let Loki set the pace of everything; if his partner wanted closeness, he would get closeness.

 

As the song started up, Tony gave him a fond squeeze and debated whether or not to say what he was thinking before going forward anyway. “Your mix also has a lot of romantic songs… but you _can_ read into it,” he murmured, with Loki’s hair tickling his cheek as he did so.

 

He felt Loki stop breathing for a moment before the younger man pulled back and fixed Tony with his owl-wide eyes. How could they be so green? _How was that even a color that eyes could do?!_ Out here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but stars to light their moment, Loki’s eyes positively _glittered_ as they reflected the night sky. He had only looked at Tony like this once before, and it had been on a porch on New Year’s Eve…

 

Tony dared to let his hand come up to brush his princess’ hair back and then allowed his fingers to lightly brush along Loki’s cheek. When had he stopped breathing? Could Loki hear his heartbeat?

 

Then Loki shocked the hell out of him by bringing his own hand up to Tony’s cheek and hesitantly tracing his jawline.

 

“How should I read into it?” he whispered breathlessly, his face only inches from his partner’s.

 

Tony’s gaze darted from Loki’s eyes to his lips and back again as his instinct took over his brain and said the words for him. “It says what I can’t, yet,” he murmured back as he continued to fondly stroke his love’s face.

 

“When will you say it?”

 

“When you’re ready for me to. When it won’t mess everything up,” Tony answered; bringing his other hand up to mimic it’s partner’s movements.

 

“And what will you say?” Loki asked, his heart hammering so hard that Tony could almost hear it in his voice.

 

But the music chose that moment to be perfect and answer for him.

 

_I’ll be there for you,_

_These five words I swear to you._

_When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you,_

_I’ll be there for you._

_I’d live and I’d die for you,_

_I’d steal sun from the sky for you._

_Words can’t say what love can do,_

_I’ll be there for you._

Tony jerked his head at the stereo and whispered back. “That.”

 

But before the word was completely out of his mouth, Loki was kissing him.

 

Just like their previous kiss, neither one was prepared for how hard it hit them to feel each other like this. Tony was stunned by the movement, but instinctively he melted against Loki’s mouth and released a pleased, “Mmm”.

 

Loki pulled away and blinked uncertainly at Tony, looking for some kind of permission as his nervous eyes scanned his partner’s face for signs of discomfort.

 

But he found none. Tony affectionately stroked Loki’s cheek again and asked, “Are you sure about this?”

 

His princess nodded breathlessly. “I can’t… I mean I’m not ready for-”

 

“I know,” Tony murmured fondly. “But it’s alright for me to kiss you?”

 

“I thought you weren’t interested,” Loki whispered desperately.

 

Tony shook his head as his thumbs continued to rub. “I just can’t say it yet. You aren’t ready for me to tell you how much I like you, or how perfect I think you are, or how _badly_ I want to kiss you…”

 

The nervousness that was on Loki’s face melted into a delighted beam as he leaned forward to claim Tony’s lips again.

 

This time, they didn’t have to limit themselves to a short, stolen kiss. They had all night to press their lips together and listen to each other’s heartbeats; and Tony would have been content to just share chaste kisses like last time, but then Loki did something completely unexpected.

 

 _He slipped his tongue in Tony’s mouth_.

 

All reserve that he had been holding onto disappeared as one of his arms dropped to wrap around Loki’s waist and the other moved to tangle in his hair as his tongue moved right back.

 

They moaned into each other’s mouths and clung tightly to each other as the music threatened to drown out their passionate soundtrack. For a relatively sexually inexperienced person, Loki’s tongue was _wicked_. He curled it around Tony’s and used it to pull the other into his mouth. When he started sucking on Tony’s tongue, the engineer thought he was going to cum in his pants.

 

They hummed into each other’s mouths, moving in tandem as though they were born to dance this waltz. Their hands weren’t shy as they roamed over each other’s chests, though their thick coats didn’t give much away, and stroked each other’s hair and positively _devoured_ each other.

 

Truthfully, that was something Tony wanted to do most of all. He _delighted_ in letting those silky locks run through his fingers as he nibbled on Loki’s bottom lip, rolling it between his teeth and sucking so hard he was sure to leave a bruise.

 

The sucking gave him an idea, and he released Loki’s lip from his teeth so he could press a kiss to the corner of his partner’s mouth and begin trailing kisses down his jaw. He paused just long enough to raise an eyebrow and ask for Loki’s permission, and once the younger man nodded at him through his panting, Tony dove right back in to lay claim to Loki’s neck.

 

Now, he didn’t know what a sensitive area this was for the other man, so when he gave an experimental suck to the soft skin there and Loki let out a cry so unguarded and _wanton,_ it had Tony leaking precum.

Before he started leaving marks though, he wanted to taste and devour the entire column of white. Taking advantage of Loki’s absent scarf, Tony took his time kissing and nibbling all over, from the base of Loki’s ear, to the part of his collarbone not covered by his coat, and back up again. When he went to switch to the other side, he licked a stripe up the front of Loki’s neck, pausing to lightly suck on his prominent Adam’s apple, before devouring the other half. All the while, he lightly tugged on Loki’s hair, in the way he had discovered his partner liked; alternating between fondly scratching the scalp and pulling.

 

Loki, known for being vocal, was moaning freely and breathlessly at the touches. _It felt so fucking good!_ He had _never_ felt anything like this, even when Fandral had kissed his neck, and hadn’t even conceived that kissing _could_ feel this good. More than anything, though, he felt _safe_. He could give himself over to Tony and trust that his partner wouldn’t go under his clothes, or use this as fodder for manipulation later, but mostly – mostly he was comforted by the knowledge that Tony actually cared about him.

 

When Tony had properly licked and nibbled what he wanted to, he started in on leaving his purple flowers. He pulled the flesh into his mouth with his lips and started sucking _hard_.

 

Loki gasped at the sudden change in pressure and tangled a hand in Tony’s hair to keep him there as he moaned in appreciation.

 

He intended to maybe stop after one… or two… but by the time he pulled his mouth away, Loki’s neck was _littered_ in hickeys. The engineer grinned proudly at his handiwork and gently touched one of the bruises. “Who would have thought?” he mused.

 

“What?” Loki asked as he brought his own hand up to touch where Tony’s was.

 

“I’m an artist,” Tony murmured.

 

The mischievous grin he received was so beautiful and _welcome_ that Tony could have screamed; and when Loki leaned forward and whispered, “My turn,” he almost did.

 

But Loki didn’t dive into his neck; instead he let his clever little tongue go to work on the engineer’s ears. He lightly traced the outline of the soft flesh before dipping his tongue underneath the shell. He took his time working the area, and when it seemed like he was finally going to slip inside and fuck Tony’s ear with his tongue (like he was desperate for his partner to do), he would go back and nibble on the lobe.

 

 _Little trickster_ , Tony thought as he grinned at the ministrations.

 

When Loki did finally move his tongue in though, the older man let out a groan so throaty and deep he was almost embarrassed.

 

“Oh, _god_ , Loki,” he moaned, tangling his fingers in that hair and gasping at the new sensation. He could feel Loki grinning against him, and he wanted to kiss that smirk off his face.

 

So he did.

 

Tony hadn’t been keeping track of time, because who would, but when the disc stopped playing, the men pulled away to gaze at each other. “Well I was going to ask you to be my platonic Valentine,” Tony purred, “But now I think you might question my intentions.”

 

Loki’s laugh was so clear and beautiful that the engineer almost cried in relief at the delighted sound. “You know I’d kick your ass if you tried to pull anything,” he replied.

 

“Does that mean you’ll be my Valentine?” Tony asked, taking Loki’s hands in his and planting a gentle kiss to the top of each one.

 

His partner smiled and nodded at him before his face fell slightly and he looked at Tony guiltily. “I’m sorry I can’t give you more. I wish I could but –”

 

“But you’re not ready. It’s okay. I’m not ready either. I’m not good with… handling delicate situations and if we were together now… I want us both to be ready,” he explained.

 

Loki smiled at him. “Do you want to listen to my CD now?”

 

“Hell yeah,” Tony answered as he reluctantly dropped Loki’s hands so he could switch the discs out.

 

When he returned to the backseat, he pulled Loki against him and held him tight once more.

 

“I’m crazy about you, you know,” he whispered against his partner’s scalp. It was a risky thing to say, but he wasn’t going to take any more chances with Loki not knowing how he felt. Pepper might be disappointed in him when he told her about this (because as soon as he got home and was calling and waking that girl up if he had to – he was going to celebrate this), but he felt it and he wanted to say it.

 

But Loki didn’t tense or get uncomfortable, instead he let out what might have been a gasp, or a sob, and buried his face in Tony’s neck as he squeezed him. “I feel the same way,” he answered.

 

That was enough. As Tony sat there, and grinned wider and brighter than he ever had in his life, he counted his blessings and thanked the universe that Loki felt the same way. They couldn’t be together right now, it would fuck Loki up and ruin everything, and they couldn’t risk anything more than kisses (which already seemed sort of dangerous even though it had been more than a month since Loki had broken up with Fandral), but for tonight Tony was just so happy to hold his beloved like this. He knew in his heart that someday Loki would be his boyfriend and they would be happy together. He didn’t believe in fate, or destiny, or any kind of predetermined crap – but he _knew_ that someday Loki would be his.

 

They held each other like that for a while before Tony started kissing his head again, and then moving to lay his lips on anything he could reach from their positions. Loki leaned his head up to kiss him back as his music played in the background, and then they were off again, licking into each other’s mouths and savoring the taste.

 

They forgot to watch the meteor shower; it was okay though, because they already had what they wished for.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My bbys. The goal is to have the next chapter out by Thursday because that’s the Valentine’s chapter. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


	17. Girl Talk, Couples, & Valentine's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Y’all are amazing and I’m filled with gratitude and warm fuzzies for each of you. Happy Valentine’s Day, loves! 
> 
> P.S. I didn’t edit this chapter. I have thirty minutes before choir and I’m using that time to shower :3

oooooooo

 

Tony was walking on fucking sunshine.

 

He and Loki had kissed until their lips turned blue and their fingers grew numb; then he put the top up on the car, cranked the heat, and they kissed some more.

 

When their tongues were finally worn out and their lips were thoroughly bruised, they remained cuddled together in the back seat; neither of them willing to end what had been a truly magical evening. They had lain together under the blankets, talking about nonsense (and deliberately avoiding the subject of what they were doing), with their fingers laced together. The men were completely unaware of the time, or how long they had been resting like that, until the sky started changing colors and the sun poked its head out.

 

They would have stayed together even longer, or perhaps grabbed breakfast, but Loki had to pee and he refused to do it outside.

 

The twit held it for the entire drive back to campus.

 

When they parted, Loki was halfway out the door before he turned around and left one last kiss on Tony’s lips.

 

The engineer drove home with a grin so wide it threatened to split his face open. He also took that opportunity to listen to Loki’s CD with proper attention, since he was no longer distracted by his partner’s pretty neck.

 

The very first fucking song was _Friday I’m In Love_.

 

Tony Stark did not have crushes, or _feelings_ – and he didn’t ‘do’ relationships, but this boy did things to him.

 

He did not consider himself a homosexual, or even bisexual. He had tried looking at other men, especially those who were objectively considered attractive, but he found that they did nothing for him. Simultaneously, however, he no longer found himself stirred by attractive women either. They only person that sent his heart a-fluttering or his cock a-throbbing was his partner.

 

If anything, he was Loki-sexual – and it was amazing.

 

oooooooo

 

Pepper was very good at organizing things. She genuinely enjoyed sitting down, looking at a person’s schedule, and helping them map out where they needed to be and when. The strawberry blonde took pleasure in sorting things into their correct place and bringing order to chaos.

 

This was not the case for Tony.

 

That was how he found himself sitting on the floor of Pepper’s dorm room while she looked through his various syllabi and marked the dates he had exams/ projects due, while he prattled on about his incredible evening with Loki (even though it had been almost a week and she had heard him talk about it ad nauseam already).

 

“Did I tell you he was the one who initiated it?” Tony chirped happily as he prodded his friend with the tip of his shoe, intentionally trying to rile her because he was not getting enough attention.

 

She took it all in stride with the patience of a Zen master and smirked at him. “Yes, Tony, you’ve told me that twice already _tonight_.”

 

The engineer let out a lazy sigh and rolled onto his back. “And tomorrow is _Valentine’s Day_ ,” he purred.

 

Pepper shot him a glance and had to fight back a bark of laughter at the love-sick puppy look her _adult_ friend was sporting. “What do you have planned?” she asked, more to placate him than any real interest as he had already eluded to several different ideas.

 

But his enthusiastic re-telling of such plans was interrupted by Natasha entering the room.

 

“Hey girl,” she greeted before spotting Tony on the floor and pausing where she stood, bringing one hand to her hip as the corner of her mouth tugged upward. “Hey _lover-boy_ ,” she teased.

 

“Hey _gurrrrl_ ,” he mocked back.

 

“I was just talking about you,” she said nonchalantly as she dropped her bag on her bed and set about pulling her homework out of it.

 

The engineer perked up a bit and moved so he could nudge her with his foot instead of Pepper. “Oh? All good things, I hope.”

 

She smirked. “Oh, all _very good_ things. Though frankly, I’m sick of hearing about you,” she grumbled.

 

“Oh, come now. Who get ever get sick of such a thing?” he laughed as she kicked away his foot.

 

“Well _Loki_ seems immune, apparently,” she growled before hopping onto her bed, letting her legs dangle over the side.

 

Tony’s entire face broke into a proud grin as he wiggled his eyebrows at Pepper, who was quietly laughing at him.

 

“Oh yeah?” he teased. “What’s he, uh – what’s he sayin’ about me?” he asked comically, keeping his mouth open so he could press the tip of his tongue to his bottom teeth as he suggestively wiggled his brows at her. Brow wiggling was his new thing.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes and kicked at him again. “He says that you’re a terrible kisser and he doesn’t want to see you anymore.”

 

She laughed somewhat cruelly at the immediate look of horror that over took his features. “I’m _kidding_ , he’s very excited for tomorrow,” she corrected.

 

Tony pretended to wipe sweat off his brow in relief and rolled onto his back again. “Did he happen to mention whether or not this is still a _platonic_ evening?”

 

Both women’s heads snapped up at that.

 

“No! I don’t mean that I want _sex_ , but now that we’ve already kissed I just wondered if maybe it would happen again!” he explained hurriedly. It was true, he didn’t _expect_ anything from Loki, and if his partner wanted a hands off evening then that’s what would happen, but if he wanted a repeat of last week…

 

Tony’s lips could do with another bruising.

 

Much to his surprise, the ladies looked at each other somewhat anxiously and Pepper bit her lip.

 

“What? What is that – stop looking at each other like that,” Tony commanded as he sat up. “Did Loki say something? Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No, no, no!” Pepper quickly clarified before turning to Natasha for confirmation. When the redhead nodded, Pepper turned her sympathetic gaze back to Tony and sighed. “You didn’t do anything _wrong_ , you just need to proceed with extreme caution,” she explained.

 

He scowled at the women. “I know that! Do you think I’m an idiot? I know more about the circumstances of the break up than either of you, so believe me – I know exactly how to _proceed_ ,” he snapped. It really wasn’t fair to take such an attitude with them when they were looking out for his best interest, especially when Pepper had been so patient and helpful with him, but he was quick to take offense and gather up defenses against any accusations. He had taken such care to be respectful and delicate with Loki’s situation that he felt pissy with his friends suggesting anything else.

 

Pepper opened her mouth to reply, probably in a polite way, but the Russian bowled right over her.

 

“First of all, if you try to rub that fact in my face again I will cut you,” she hissed.

 

He had not been delicate with the fact that Loki had shared more confidence with him than with his own best friend, and Tony _knew_ that it bothered Natasha.

 

“Second, don’t just _assume_ that you know everything. I’m the one who’s actually talking to Loki about you, and believe it or not we are actually trying to _help_ ,” she growled, jerking her head to indicate that she included Pepper in her statement.

 

Tony grimaced and shot an apologetic look to the friend who was helping him organize his schoolwork. “I’m sorry,” he replied quietly. “I just… I’m walking on eggshells with him constantly trying to do the ‘right thing’, and it’s making me sensitive to any kind of perceived criticism,” he offered.

 

Natasha flipped her hair back and stared at him. “You aren’t going to like what I have to say, Tony,” she warned.

 

He frowned uncertainly and looked to Pepper for clarification. The awkward frown he got made his stomach sink. “Okay…” he answered uncomfortably. “Lay it on me.”

 

“You can’t like him right now.”

 

Tony frowned again. “Why not,” he retorted as more of a statement than a question. “I’m not _acting_ on it, so why does it matter?”

 

The woman on the bed drew her legs up under her and frowned at him. “You’ve already acted on it,” she countered. “You kissed him-”

 

“He kissed me first!” Tony defended indignantly.

 

“ _You kissed him back!_ ”

 

His jaw dropped open in offense, but really she had a point. “I thought it was safe,” he mumbled. “They broke up a month ago.”

 

Natasha took in a deep breath and rolled her shoulders. “It’s not about Fandral – well, part of it is – but it’s mostly about _Loki_ ,” she explained. “Right now, he equates his self-worth with having a relationship-”

 

“But he knows that I don’t want a relationship right now,” Tony interjected. “We both agreed that he isn’t ready-”

 

“ _I know that!_ But he knows that you value him in terms of a potential relationship – that you have romantic interest in him,” she growled, rapidly losing her patience. It was lucky for him that so far he had mostly been dealing with Pepper, because Natasha probably would have killed him.

 

Tony opened and closed his mouth a few times. “Why does that matter?”

 

Natasha dropped her head back onto the bed and growled. “Pepper you take over,” she mumbled.

 

“It matters because it means that Loki thinks he only has value right now if he’s being viewed in a sexual sense,” Pepper explained, pressing on before Tony could interrupt. “I know, and so does Natasha, that you would never do anything before he was ready. But he’s never going to truly _be_ ready until he learns to stop hating himself and develop his self-esteem, and that won’t happen if he still sees himself as someone you want to have sex with,” she elaborated.

 

“But I’m not _going_ to have sex with him… so why can’t I like him?”

 

Pepper took in a patient breath. “Let me put it to you this way. Put yourself in Loki’s shoes. You just got out of a terrible relationship that has warped your already twisted views on self-worth, relationships, and sex. You can barely process how to get over such an ordeal because you don’t fully understand how these things are _supposed_ to work anyway,” she narrated.

 

Tony nodded to show his understanding, though he felt like a child for needing to have this explained to him in such a way.

 

“Now imagine that in addition to all of your confusion, you have feelings for one of your closest friends – feelings that you don’t understand because they’re inappropriately timed and because the last person you had feelings for turned out to be a monster. You don’t _want_ to feel the way you do because this person is very important to you, and you would be devastated to lose them as a friend.”

 

He nodded again.

 

“The wise thing to do would be to ignore the feelings until you have properly dealt with the breakup you just experienced, and you have gained a new sense of self-worth.”

 

More nodding.

 

“That way, the only person you are romantically accountable for is _you_. Your friend won’t be burdened by the overwhelming task of trying not to play rebound, while helping you through this ordeal when really _you_ are the only person who can really get you through it. It’s all about when _you_ are ready, and if they don’t have any expectations, then you can take as long as you need to get there.”

 

Tony paused to let that bit sink in, but eventually mumbled, “Okay…”

 

“Alright, but now imagine that the friend suddenly has feelings for you too and he _told_ you about them, and he knows that _you feel the same way.”_

He could see where this was going and he didn’t like it.

 

“Now, you are suddenly working on a timer. Now that they perceive you as a sexual object – and I know that you don’t feel that way, Tony, but we are looking at this through _Loki’s_ eyes – now you feel like you have to validate their interest because if you cannot then they will _lose_ interest.”

 

“So… he’s going to be in a rush to pretend he’s ready to date just so he won’t lose me?” 

 

Pepper nodded patiently. “He won’t be tricking himself into _wanting_ you, like he had to near the end of his last relationship – but he will have to convince himself he wants to be _with_ you,” she clarified. “No matter how much he likes you, he’s not ready to be considered sexually.”

 

Tony sputtered for a moment. “Well I don’t want him to think we can’t be just friends until he’s ready! I’ll just pretend I am not interested in him like that!”

 

Natasha began slow clapping on the bed. “And circle gets the square,” she mumbled.

 

What? Oh. Yes, he had just confirmed her initial statement. “Well I’m not going to _actually_ stop liking him – I’ll just pretend to,” he grumbled obstinately.

 

Pepper smiled and patted his knee. “But this is where you have to proceed with caution. You both like each other, and he is _going_ to be looking for ways to validate himself _through you_ ,” she cautioned.

 

“What do you mean?” Tony asked tiredly, lying back down.

 

“Well for starters, you shouldn’t kiss him tomorrow night,” she implored sternly.

 

He groaned and covered his hands with his face. “But it’s _Valentine’s Day!_ And what if he initiates it again!”

 

She scowled and smacked at him. “Do you want to handle this correctly or not!”

 

Tony rolled over onto his stomach and made strangled noises into the carpet. “Well how to I refuse his kisses without offending him. Isn’t that just as cruel?” he reasoned exasperatedly.

 

“You should talk to him tomorrow and tell him that you want to make it clear that your relationship has to remain platonic right now, with no physical implications,” she answered wisely.

 

Fuck all of this noise.

 

“I really like him,” he moaned dejectedly before banging his head against the floor.

 

He felt Pepper rub the back of his calf sympathetically. “I know you do. I’m sorry that this situation is so complicated and crappy,” she replied quietly.

 

“Aren’t we teenagers? Isn’t love supposed to be easy and fun?” he grumbled as he pulled his arms up to fold them and make a cushion for his head.

 

This time he heard Natasha sigh. “That’s life,” she grumbled. “Nothing ever goes the way it’s _supposed_ to.”

 

She was right about that.

 

The students were silent for a few minutes, each lost in their own heads as they considered how dramatic and shitty everything had become. Natasha was very happy in her own relationship, but watching what happened to Loki had made her become more guarded and wary around Clint – as though she was waiting for him to turn into the monster that Fandral had.

 

Tony finally perked his head up and broke the silence. “What advice did you give him?”

 

He heard Natasha yawn and then sigh. “I told him to focus on you as a friend and not to make any rash decisions that will do him more harm than good,” she replied. “I also told him not to kiss you tomorrow.”

 

Well, that would make dealing with _that_ a bit easier. Tony let out another groan and rolled onto his side. “So what should we do tomorrow? Is he still going to be my Valentine?”

 

Pepper grinned at him and he heard Natasha scowl. “Oh rest assured, he _insists_ on being your Valentine. No amount of reasoning could talk him out of that.”

 

Tony smiled fondly. _Oh, Loki_.

 

“We agreed that we would all go out to dinner, with Thor and Jane as well – Pepper you are also invited,” Natasha continued.

 

“Thanks, but I have a test on Friday,” she mumbled back sadly, holding up one of her textbooks as reference.

 

“Dammit. I was going to use your aid to keep those two apart.”

 

Tony scowled at her. “I can control myself!”

 

“Yeah, just wait until you see what he’s wearing,” she grumbled. “We are all going out to dinner, and then Thor wants to go to some nightclub.”

 

The engineer practically bent in half he sat up so quickly. “Hold up. We are going _dancing_? At a _night club_?! But Loki and I aren’t allowed to dance together?!” he screeched.

 

Natasha sat up on her bed and fixed him with a look. “I have no doubt that you two will dance together, no matter _what_ Thor or I say. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be cautious about _how_ you dance together,” she answered with a huff before plopping back down.

 

Grrrr…

 

“And then what? What’s happening after the nightclub?”

 

The Russian sighed and kicked her shoes off. “Well I’m going to have sex with my boyfriend, Thor will probably do the same with Jane – and you are going to walk Loki home like a gentleman and then shake his hand goodnight.”

 

Fuck everything!

 

oooooooo

 

Tony had every intention of doing what his friends suggested and keeping the evening perfectly chaste and platonic.

 

And then he saw Loki.

 

They weren’t due to meet until the afternoon, for dinner, but Tony _happened_ to see his partner walking across campus with Natasha shortly after lunch. He had stopped in his tracks when he spotted that head of familiar dark hair, and found himself with his head tilted to the side and a dopey smile on his face as he gazed at Loki.

 

His princess was such a lovely thing.

 

Why the fuck couldn’t they date yet.

 

Since he was determined to do the right thing, he did not run up behind Loki and squeeze him around the waist, he did not text him ‘good morning’ with a lot of hearts, he did not send him candy through campus mail, and he _certainly_ did not pleasure himself in the shower to thoughts of Loki sucking him off under the table during dinner…

 

That would be wrong.

 

He did, however, go to the store with Thor to pick up a few things for this evening; including flowers, chocolate, and a stuffed animal.

 

Originally he wanted to purchase something special for Loki, like nice cologne, or a fancy watch – but after his talk the night before those gifts no longer sounded like good ideas.

 

Thor had purchased a rather expensive looking necklace for Jane, and had taken care to select the metal and gemstones best suited for her. Tony wanted to be happy for them, but instead felt jealous and irritated over how _easy_ it was for them to be together. He wanted to pick out a fancy gemstone for his love, too!

 

But for this year, he would settle on roses, an enormous box of assorted confections, and a penguin holding a heart. It was a soft ass penguin. Tony kept petting its fur like a weirdo until Thor yanked the plush away from him until they were back in the car.

 

“I appreciate your willingness to take things slow with my brother,” Thor had praised out of nowhere on the drive back to campus.

 

Although it had caught him off guard, Tony felt a momentary surge of pride in how much Loki’s loved ones cared for him. “I don’t want to screw this up,” he answered.

 

Thor nodded knowingly. “Loki can be difficult… but he’s worth it.”

 

“I think so, too.”

 

Loki _was_ worth it. Tony kept repeating that to himself as he got dressed for the evening and struggled to accept the advice he had been given. He wanted to badly to be able to make everything okay for his partner; to be able to reach into his brain and make Loki see himself the way Tony saw him. He wanted to go out tonight not with someone he had to be forcefully platonic with, but with his boyfriend – with his lover. He ached to be able to buy Loki a proper gift and shower him with kisses upon their meeting, to be able to take him dancing and hold each other as close and as tight as they pleased.

 

Mostly he wanted to be able to tell Loki that he loved him. 

 

As far as Loki knew, Tony simply had _feelings_ for him. In fact, that was as much as Thor and Natasha knew as well. He had only revealed the depth of his emotions to Pepper, and he could trust her to keep that information to herself. If Loki found out how intensely Tony cared for him, it would undoubtedly make things more complicated, and would perhaps cause an irreparable rip in their friendship.

 

Tony couldn’t love him right now. It was too much, and even though he wanted it more than anything, if Loki felt the same way then that boy was never going to focus on getting himself well – he was going to focus on trying to get well _for Tony_. That wasn’t the same thing, and the engineer cared far too deeply for his partner to risk his mental health and well-being.

 

But Loki was worth it. A month from now, six months from now, or however long it took – Tony would wait patiently, because Loki was worth it.

 

His penis was just going to have to deal.

 

When he had finished getting ready, after settling on a crisp, fitted Armani suit, and had properly styled his hair, brushed his teeth, and spritzed himself with cologne, he gathered up Loki’s presents and left to go pick up his Valentine.

 

The plan was to meet outside Loki’s dorm, since Thor and Clint lived there as well, and he was pleased to find that Jane and Natasha were already waiting outside.

 

“You both look _stunning_ ,” Tony admired as he approached the women.

 

They truly did. With the exception of her Halloween costume, Tony had never seen Natasha wear a dress before; but tonight she was wearing a body-hugging, black, cotton dress with a sweetheart neckline that drew attention to her well-endowed bosom. She was even wearing _heels_. Her short red hair was loose and curled a bit at the ends, giving her cheeks a lovely frame. She had painted her eyelids with a dramatic sweep of eyeliner, giving her a fierce look to couple her beauty.

 

She still looked like she could kill Tony with her mind.

 

Jane had gone for a subtler look, with a cream colored dress with a modest neckline that went to her knees. Her normally long brown locks were pulled back into a French twist, and Tony noticed that she was not yet wearing the necklace Thor had picked out.

 

He was pulled from his regard by the sound of Thor’s booming laugh. He turned and saw the three men they were waiting for walking out of the dormitory.

 

Thor and Clint had chosen outfits similar to the one Tony had picked, with a clean white button up shirt and a black suit. Thor had dressed his with a red, satin tie, while Clint had opted for a purple one. Both men looked very handsome and appropriately dressed for the amount of attention that their girlfriends had put into their own ensembles.

 

And then there was Loki. Fucking Loki. Fucking _ridiculously hot_ Loki.

 

This asshole was wearing black boots that covered his skinny ankles, skintight black leather pants, a blood red, long sleeve shirt with a neckline low enough to reveal his protruding collarbone, and his favorite black leather jacket that made him look so _sexy_. His hair had been left to do it’s natural waves and curls and hit the middle of his neck as it framed his face.

 

Was he wearing _eyeliner_?

 

Loki grinned at him as he walked up. “Close your mouth or a fly will get in,” he teased.

 

As the girls kissed their boyfriends and admired each other’s outfits, Tony stared unabashedly at his Valentine. “You look amazing,” he praised breathlessly.

 

His partner blushed a bit and thrust out the box he was holding. “Here, these are for you,” he offered.

 

“And these are for you,” Tony replied, maneuvering a bit so he could exchange their gifts without dropping anything.

 

Once Loki had a hand on his gifts, Tony opened the box he had been given. Inside were chocolate covered strawberries – big, fat, _juicy_ looking strawberries. He looked up at his partner and beamed. “Did you make these?” he asked, based on the box they had been wrapped in.

 

Loki nodded. “My mom helped.” The moment the words were out of his mouth, he looked like he wanted to suck them back in, and his cheeks flushed once more.

 

But Tony was internally screaming. _Frigga_ had helped make him a Valentine’s present! Nope, everyone else go home, he and Loki were going to be a couple now.

 

“I expect you to name that penguin,” he pointed out, nodding to the plush in Loki’s hands.

 

His partner laughed and admired the toy. “Did you come up with a clever pun for him?”

 

“Yes, but they were mostly sexual and involved your ‘south pole’,” he replied honestly.

 

Loki’s eyes grew three times their natural size and Natasha not so subtly elbowed him in the ribs.

 

“Are we all ready for dinner?” Thor loudly interjected, interrupting what might have become eye fucking between the two partners.

 

Tony wanted to ride separately, because he wanted to dissect Loki’s song selections on his CD, but Thor had practically dragged them to his own car. Natasha hadn’t been kidding about there being a team effort to keep them from engaging in any _less than savory_ acts. It would have been offensive if they didn’t have a point, because he probably would have tried to hold Loki’s hand if they drove by themselves.

 

The couples had selected a small Italian restaurant with white linen tablecloths, fake vines with squishy hollow grapes attached, soft lighting, and music plucked right out of Italy.

 

They were seated at a round table, and Natasha had clearly intended to keep the boys from sitting next to each other, but Loki shot her a warning look and took his place next to his partner. She had scowled at him, but couldn’t control her face for long enough to keep away her fond smile. She lightly pinched Loki’s leg and whispered something to him that made the boy snicker.

 

Tony was trying to decide if footsie was an inappropriate game to play, when Loki pulled his jacket off.

 

That _evil_ motherfucker had chosen a shirt that _must_ have been designed specifically to torment Tony’s libido.

 

He had admired the front and the way the color looked so striking on Loki – but the _back_. There was a giant cut out in the back, from the tops of his shoulder blades, all the way down to the small of his back, and stretching wide enough that it only just covered his sides. The only reason the damn thing was staying on was because it was so tight. Loki then turned to Natasha, giving Tony a _cruel_ view of that vast expanse of white. He could count every vertebra in Loki’s spine…and he wanted to lick them all.

 

His mouth must have been hanging open as he stared, because Thor nudged him and gave him a look.

 

_Ooh, that little trickster._

 

The other two couples turned to pour over the menu after the drink orders had been taken, so Loki turned in close to Tony and murmured, “Do you feel like sharing something?”

 

 _I feel like licking whipped cream off your nipples_.

 

The engineer nodded and attempted to casually scoot his chair closer to his partner’s. It was only fair, after all, since they were going to share a meal. They _needed_ to sit so close that their knees were touching, and if the only comfortable place for Tony to rest his arm was on the back of Loki’s chair then _so be it!_

 

“What are you in the mood for?” Loki purred as he deliberately kept his eyes on the menu, but turned in closer so their calves were completely flush against each other. He even dared to pretend that he was shifting his feet, and tucked his ankle behind Tony’s.

 

This flirting was going to kill him.

 

_I’m in the mood to lick whipped cream off your nipples!_

“Whatever you want, little otter,” he replied affectionately. If Loki was going to flirt then so was he.

 

The way that nick name made his princess’ eyes light up was exquisite. Tony shifted so he could cross his left leg over his right and then took his left foot and lightly stroked up and down Loki’s shin. The other people at the table couldn’t see what he was doing, but his partner’s cheeks flushed and his lips parted as he took in an excited breath. Loki responded by crossing his own legs so he could mirror Tony’s actions with his opposite foot.

 

_Nipples!_

 

Natasha was giving the men an exasperated look, but neither of them paid her any attention. They were playing with fire and delighting in the warmth, ignoring the way it drew them closer to incineration.

 

They settled on cheesy pasta, because it was messy and delicious, and also because Tony was determined to show Loki that he found him attractive no matter what he weighed or ate. The couples laughed and joked together about how school was faring for each of them, how Thor hated football’s off season and was seriously considering taking up another sport, how Jane was likely going to intern at an astrophysics lab in New Mexico over the summer, and all sorts of things.

 

The couples munched on endless, fluffy, warm breadsticks, pasta and tiny salads as they talked; only ceasing their conversation when a new basket of bread was brought to the table.

 

Tony had dared to feed Loki a breadstick, and when the little trickster wrapped his lips around it Natasha smacked him under the table while Clint tried not to laugh.

 

When the meal was over, Natasha stood from the table, dismissing herself to the restroom. Jane decided to accompany her, as women often do, leaving the men. But Clint immediately made a face. “Now that she mentioned it, I have to pee too,” he groaned before hurrying off himself.

 

Thor frowned and turned to the remaining not-couple.

 

Loki raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you have to use the restroom, as well?” he asked knowingly.

 

The blond nodded, maintaining his frown. “But I’m not supposed to leave you two alone,” he mumbled.

 

The younger of the brothers scowled at him. “We are adults, Thor!”

 

Thor made a pained expression and pushed his chair back to rise. Before he walked away, though, he turned back and stared hard at each of the men. “ _Behave yourselves_ ,” he warned.

 

The moment his back was turned, the partners turned and grinned at each other. Tony took his right arm, which had been resting on the back of Loki’s chair again, and shifted to he could lightly stroke his partner’s back.

 

“You’re a little trickster, you know that?” Tony murmured as his fingers continued their dance.

 

Loki practically purred at the touch and closed his eyes. “Why do you say that?” he asked, knowing full well why.

 

Tony grinned. “Ordering cheesy pasta when you know how attracted I am to cheesy pasta,” he replied cheekily.

 

He shouldn’t have said it, but he did. He also shouldn’t be stroking Loki’s back like this, but he was.

 

His partner’s eyes opened as he fixed Tony with a smoldering gaze. “I thought you were only interested in pasta platonically,” he baited.

 

“ _Cheesy_ pasta,” Tony corrected. “I have zero interest in any other kind of pasta.”

 

He needed to stop but he couldn’t.

 

Loki batted his eyelashes, and it may have been unintentional, as he smiled. “Well you have your cheesy dish, what will you do with it?”

 

Tony let out a dramatic sigh. “I suppose I’ll box it up and take it home so I can enjoy it on the toilet,” he answered.

 

Nothing kills mounting sexual tension like a reference to the toilet.

 

Loki made a face at him and tried not to laugh. “ _What_?!”

 

The engineer shrugged, never ceasing the movements of his fingers. “Hey man, don’t tell me how to enjoy my pasta,” he replied before taking a deliberate sip of water.

 

His princess shook his head and tried not to smile. “You’re a fool, Tony,” he murmured fondly.

 

He was about to respond with something very clever and witty when Natasha returned from the washroom, with Jane.

 

“Are you boys ready to go dancing?” she asked. The checks had already been paid for, and at this point they had only been lingering to finish the bread.

 

The partners looked at each other and grinned as they nodded.

 

oooooooo

 

For some reason, Thor had seemed reticent to take everyone to a night club when Tony and Loki had been ‘eye fucking’ each other all evening, but they wore him down eventually. Although the couples were all a bit overdressed for it, with the exception of Loki, they were pleased to find that many other club patrons had dressed in a similar fashion; with suits and elegant, form fitting dresses.

 

Tony had purposefully left his jacket in Thor’s car, and was in the process of rolling his sleeves midway up his forearms when they entered. It was supposed to be 21 and over, but Tony discreetly paid off the bouncer and ushered his friends in with him. That was one of the perks of being a billionaire – money could usually make things happen.

 

The group agreed to stay away from the bar for various reasons, but mostly because if they got alcohol in their systems – Tony and Loki were _going_ to kiss each other.

 

The engineer held his hand out to his date and guided him onto the dance floor where a mess of sweaty bodies writhed against each other. Wanting to remain respectful and avoid being murdered by Natasha, Tony took both of his partner’s hands and proceeded to dance with him in the same goofy and fun way that they had on New Year’s. Even as the couples they came with turned into each other and began moving in distinctly _unwholesome_ ways, Tony continued to spin his princess around and laugh at how they had to carefully avoid knocking into people.

 

It was dark enough, and crowded enough, that they could get lost in all the bodies and potentially avoid Natasha’s watchful eye – but Tony had to wait for the right moment.

 

He reasoned that even though they couldn’t _kiss_ or do anything romantic of that sort, anything they would have done before they admitted their feelings for each other was fair game. It so happened that a bit of dancing fell under that umbrella.

 

The dance songs all blended together, as DJ’s would have them, and after he and Loki had thoroughly exhausted themselves after an endless stream of bass and electric pop, the engineer spared a glance to make sure he wasn’t being _babysat_ , and then ceased twirling Loki so he could pull the boy flush against him.

 

Loki fit so _irritatingly_ perfectly against him – as though they were meant for this. He kept his hands on his partner’s hips, though he ached to let them roam over his bare back, and moved them together.

 

He growled when the trickster flashed him a mischievous grin and wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck, bringing them even closer.

 

They didn’t even care if they were dancing anymore, it all became proximity and _heat_ and when did it get so hard to breathe? Tony felt his eyes slipping closed as his head leaned forward before his shoulder was jerked violently back and an angry Russian was scolding him. “No!”

 

Not a moment later Thor appeared with his phone pulled out.

 

“Hey! We need to leave! There’s a big snow storm coming in and we should get home before they have to close off the highways!” he yelled over the music to the cock-blocked couple, oblivious to how close Tony had been to macking on his little brother.

 

A snowstorm? It had been lightly falling for weeks, but never went above a few inches on the ground. How had they not heard this was coming?

 

Tony shrugged as he reached down to take Loki’s hand, under the guise of not losing him in the crowd, as they followed Thor (along with other fellow patrons) out of the club.

 

Sure enough, the snow was falling thicker and faster over their heads. They hurried back to the cars, extra chilly since they had opted to leave their jackets, and as they stood beside the backseat door, waiting for Thor’s numb fingers to fish the keys out of his pocket, Tony stepped up behind his partner and wrapped his arms around him, to keep his back warm.

 

They waved a quick goodbye to Natasha and Clint, who had come in their own car, and hurried off.

 

They were not terribly far from campus, but the moment they entered the freeway it became clear that it would take them a long time to get back. The traffic was completely backed up, and from what they could see it looked like cars were being corralled off right back into the exit lane.

 

“Damn!” Thor growled as he inched forward incrementally. Jane reached over and placed a loving hand on his forearm and offered him a warm smile.

 

“More time in the car for us,” she said sweetly.

 

Hell yeah more time in the car.

 

Loki had pulled his jacket back on, but he was still shivering so Tony had moved to sit immediately next to him and wrapped an arm around those shoulders. It was unfair how _precious_ Loki looked as he cradled his bouquet of roses and his plush penguin. He had laid his head on Tony’s shoulders and slipped his eyes shut as Jane pulled out her phone to put on music.

 

Tony subtly brought his hand that was draped over his partner’s side to gently scratch the back of his head and was about to whisper something when the music started up.

 

He opened his mouth to tease Jane for having this tune on her phone, when _Loki_ shot up and dislodged Tony’s affectionate embrace. “I love this song,” he whispered excitedly.

 

The engineer laughed and cocked an eyebrow. “You listen to this kind of music?”

 

Loki dropped his chin and gave Tony a _look_. “Don’t underestimate my tastes.”

 

“I never doubted you were street,” Tony teased before laughter bubbled in his stomach and burst out of him at the sight of Loki dancing to this song.

 

“I’m gonna pop some tags – only got twenty dollas in my pocket-”

 

The only logical thing to do was dance in the same exuberantly violent way and rap along with his partner. Loki could _rap!_  The world was full of surprises.

 

“You rap like a privileged white kid,” he mocked.

 

Loki scoffed at him and didn’t cease his dancing. “That’s racist,” he growled.

 

It should be acknowledged that no matter what kind of music a person listens to, _Thrift Shop_ is just great to play in the car. It completely distracted the group from the fact that they had only crawled forward maybe ten feet in the last five minutes.

 

Jane continued to play more rap, selecting a Kanye song, and Tony was _blown away_ that Loki didn’t just recognize the track – but knew the effing words.

 

“I tell a bad bitch do whateva I say-”

 

“Loki, your skin is too pale for those words to be coming out of your mouth.”

 

“Music transcends race!”

 

Thor laughed in the front seat. “Don’t be judgmental, Tony,” he chided good-naturedly.

 

“Yeah, _Tony_ ,” Loki teased before picking up where he left off.

 

When the car finally pulled off of the highway, Thor elected to wait at a gas station until the roads cleared up enough to actually drive somewhere. The music stopped when he shut the car off, not wanting to waste gas, and he and Jane decided to run inside the convenience store to grab something warm to drink.

 

Tony and Loki stayed in the backseat so they could feed each other chocolate covered strawberries.

 

Loki was deliberately teasing him, and they both knew it, but didn’t acknowledge it. He wrapped his lips around the sweet fruit Tony was holding in front of his mouth, and released a comically hyperbolic _moan_ when he bit into it.

 

The engineer laughed and yanked the remaining bit away. “Listen _you,_ if Thor hears you making noises like that he’s going to kick _my_ ass,” he warned playfully, bringing up another strawberry anyway. 

 

The younger man batted his eyelashes. “Thor’s not here right now, is he?” he baited before taking another bite and releasing and even bigger moan.

 

As long as Loki kept them over the top and silly like that, there really wasn’t a problem. But Tony remembered exactly what it sounded like to have Loki letting out genuine, pleasured, _desperate_ moans, and these were a bit too reminiscent of such noises.

 

“Do you want some of your chocolate?” the engineer asked, nodding to the large box beside Loki’s thigh.

 

“Only if you’ll feed it to me.”

 

Tony grinned and reached his thumb out to wipe off a rogue bit of chocolate from the corner of Loki’s mouth, before bringing the digit up to his own lips and swiping his tongue across to lick it up.

 

Everything suddenly seemed very hot. Loki’s breathing had changed and it was like he was _exhaling_ pheromones. Had he smelled this good all night? Was that new cologne? Were his eyes always this green?

 

They needed to get out of the car or they were going to make a mistake. Not that the _entire evening_ hadn’t already been littered with risky and potentially dangerous behavior, but if they started making out in the back of Thor’s car – they would both be in trouble.

 

“Do you want a hot chocolate or something?” Tony proposed suddenly in a voice much higher pitched than he had intended.

 

Loki nodded quickly and scrambled to get out of the vehicle.

 

It was _freezing_ outside. Their sexual tension had at least hot boxed the car with angst and hormones, but the moment they opened the doors it was like “Hello, winter!”

 

They hurried inside the building and shook the snow out of their hair when they stepped inside. There were several customers lingering in the space, no doubt also trapped here by the weather, savoring the heat and snacking on gas station food. Thor and Jane were sipping tall, flavored coffees in the back of the store and were playing with scratch offs.

 

“There’s a hotel half a mile down the road,” Thor stated as his brother approached. “I called mom, and she said that if they can’t get the roads clear in the next half hour then we should just stay there and keep out of the weather.”

 

 _Oh, hell yes._  

 

The partners spared each other a quick, excited glance, each hoping for the same thing.

 

 _Oh, please don’t let those fucking roads get cleared_.

 

“I’m going to wait until then, but you both might want to grab some toiletries while we are here,” he suggested, wrapping a protective arm around Jane as he spotted a trucker making eyes at her.

 

Tony purchased coffees for himself and his partner, and then pulled Loki outside so they could survey the progress made on the highway.

 

It was almost impossible to see, but from all of the glaring red break lights that clogged up the roads, it looked like there wouldn’t be progress any time soon. He was about to make a comment regarding that fact, when he realized that there was music coming from the gas station speakers.

 

They were off to the side of the building, where people and cars couldn’t see them, so Tony sat his coffee down, took Loki’s and did the same, and then offered his hand out for his partner to take.

 

“May I have this dance?” he asked as evenly as he could when his body was shivering.

 

Loki gave him a perplexed smile and took the hand being offered. He wrapped his arms around Tony’s neck as the engineer slipped one of his around Loki’s waist, and let the other slide up his back under his jacket.

 

“This is one of the most romantic songs I know,” he whispered against Loki’s ear as they began swaying together. “Eric Clapton wrote it for his wife while she was getting ready for a party,” he mused.

 

Loki hummed against him to show he was listening.

 

“I almost put this on your CD… I guess I’ll have to make you another one,” he murmured before pulling back and taking the hand wrapped around Loki’s waist to he could grab his partner’s and lace their fingers together. That was proper slow dancing. He leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together, lightly nuzzling his nose against Loki’s in an Eskimo kiss.

 

They stayed like that for the rest of the song, slowly moving together as they felt perfect happiness, despite the unrelenting wind and cold, and the fact that neither of them could give themselves completely over to what they wanted. They were grateful for the moment, just being there together.

 

When Thor came back outside and told them that the storm was actually getting worse and they were just going to a hotel, they were even _more_ grateful.

 

It was too much to hope for that they would be in separate rooms, although they knew that’s what Jane wanted, but Thor probably wouldn’t have left them to their own room anyway.

 

After they checked in and deposited their little bags of convenience store toiletries and treats, the partners decided to grant the other couple _some_ alone time, and went to hang out in the fitness center.

 

Loki had not missed Thor purchasing condoms at the Texaco.

 

The partners absentmindedly played on the various machines as they chatted idly and occasionally paid attention to the news, before the night manager came to shoo them from the space.

 

They tentatively reentered the room and were relieved to find that Thor and Jane had finished their romantic activities, although they were both clearly naked under the blankets.

 

That was actually another source of excitement, because Loki had feared that Thor might insist on keeping he and his partner in separate beds.

 

As quietly as they could, the boys brushed their teeth, washed their faces, kicked off their shoes and jackets, and after a moment of consideration, tugged their pants and shirts off as well. Forget repressed sexual tension, Loki simply had no interest in sleeping in skintight leather. It was dark enough that they couldn’t really see each other’s underwear anyway, and they at least pretended not to _look_.

 

When they crawled into bed, still giddy with excitement, Loki immediately curled on his side and pulled Tony’s arm over his waist to he could be the little spoon. The engineer pressed himself flush against his partner, and realized that this was the first time he had ever cuddled Loki without pants on.

 

It was perfectly dangerous, what they were doing. But curled together, almost nude, absolutely _ecstatic_ that fate had rewarded them with such a bizarre opportunity to hold each other like this, they lost themselves in the warmth and comfort that each other provided.

 

Tony pressed his lips to the back of his partner’s neck and whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Loki,” before squeezing him tighter.

 

He felt the other boy hum as he whispered back, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Tony.”

 

The boys fell asleep like that, wrapped securely together underneath the clean, white, hotel blankets. It had been an incredible evening, and they had both kept their promises not to kiss each other.

 

Of course, when Tony woke up the next morning and saw Loki asleep in his arms with his lips slightly parted and his hair messy – that was the very first thing he did. Before the sun had fully come up, he pressed their lips together and licked into Loki’s mouth when he felt the other boy kissing back.

 

They were both to incoherent and disoriented to really have a go at it, and it didn’t help that Thor and Jane were not five feet away, but they did press their sleep-warm, naked chests together, lace their fingers, and kiss each other happily before drifting off again.

 

But everyone knows that pre-dawn, sleepy kisses, when your brother and his girlfriend are asleep in the next bed don’t count.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: :3 thanks for reading!


	18. Snow Day, Batin', & Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait! I'm uploading from my phone so I apologize for errors!

It was still snowing when the sun came up.

 

Loki was wrapped tightly in the a rms of his partner, having  woken up  only  a few hours previously when they had  taken  advantage of the opportunity to curl themselves closer, and breathed in the scent of Tony’s chest. Since they had not properly bathed the night before, he inhaled the lingering cologne and sweat with a pleased smile.

 

Although it was morning, and the teens really ought to be up and on their way before the weather could get any  worse , they felt almost drunk with exhaustion. Loki had absolutely no intention of moving ever again; so comfortable was he in these strong, protective arms.

 

Had he been a bit more awake, he would have ignored his morning erection or rolled over onto his side to avoid his partner feeling it (or perhaps he would have recalled that he and Tony were not  alone  in this room), but instead his sleep addled brain commanded his body to do the only thing it wanted to: find friction for his frustrated crotch.

 

The young man let out a soft groan as his hips slowly rocked forward against his partner’s. Tony’s knee had found it’s way between Loki’s legs, sometime after their sleepy kisses, and immediately responded to his bedmate ’ s movements against it. Though he was equally tired, warm, and comfortable, the engineer shifted forward a bit so he could properly move against Loki’s hips. He drowsily pulled his knee out from between those  long, slim legs, and lifted his left foot to hook his ankle over the backs of Loki’s thighs to pull him closer.

 

The resulting action pulled their crotches together and they let out simultaneous whimpers of appreciation as they felt all coherence leave them. They were each so sleepy, that it would have been preferable for the other to take over and do all the work while one of them could just lay there and enjoy the pleasure, but as it was they slowly rocked against each other once more.

 

Loki took in a shuddering gasp as he felt tremors sliding down the backs of his legs and warmth flooding his stomach. Something electric was pooling low in his belly and he wanted so  badly  to just give into what his body wanted.

 

But Thor chose that moment to let out a particularly  violent snore, and the partner s saw each other’s eyes open in alarm.

 

They lingered in their position for a moment, with Tony’s leg hooked over Loki’s – each of them suddenly  very  aware of each other’s hard ons  that were still pressed together , before the younger of the men nervously pulled his hips away and Tony removed his l imb .

 

Had Thor and Jane not been in the room, perhaps they would have continued with the incredibly poor decision that was grinding ag ainst each other, but they had company.  It was a good thing they had stopped though, because the snore had apparently stirred Jane as well.

 

“Hey,” the partner s heard her mumble to her boyfriend. She was, at least, trying to be quiet for their benefit as she thought them to still be asleep.

 

Thor shifted a bit and pulled his tiny lover into his chest, burying his face into the top of her head and sighing heavily. “G’mrng,” he grumbled.

 

“Are you going to try to go to class?” Jane whispered, because it was still a Friday and even though the day after a holiday should  automatically  mean that all prior obligations are canceled – academics often persisted in the interest of being shitty and annoying.

 

Thor grumbled against her scalp and she laughed softly. “Did the school e-mail us?” he asked in a gravelly voice.

 

Jane shifted a bit so she could reach behind her and grab her phone from the bedside table, lifting the device to rest it on Thor’s shoulder so she could remain in his embrace while she viewed the screen. After a minute of quiet while the blond’s breathing began to even out again, as she logged into her e-mail, she let out a delighted, “Yes! The campus is closed today.”

 

“Yaaay,” Thor murmured sleepily as his arms tightened around her. “Will you check the weather?”

 

As the couple conversed the partners continued to stare at each other, but with amused expressions. When they heard Jane announce that classes were can celed, they opened their mouths in silent celebration as their sleepy eyes lit up with excitement. They were too afraid to shift their bodies, but Tony did dare to find Loki’s hand under the blanket and lace their fingers together as his thumb drew nonsense patterns on his princess’ skin.

 

“The weather is actually supposed to get  worse ,” Jane whispered to her lover. “We should probably get back to campus as soon as possible.”

 

Thor let out a long sigh. “Or, we should enjoy the free breakfast and  then  get back to campus,” he mumbled.

 

Jane let out a soft laugh. “Should we wake them up?”

 

 

"Nah," Thor grumbled. "Loki's a horror in the morning." 

 

Tony had to bite back a laugh as Loki dropped his jaw in offense at the comment. A moment later the partners could hear the shifting of the sheets and the creak of the bed as the other couple rose and began to get dressed. The boys stayed as still as they possibly could, pretending to be asleep, and waited until they heard the door to the room open and close, indicating that Thor and Jane had gone to get breakfast. 

 

Immediately Tony unlaced their fingers and lifted his left arm to pull Loki against his chest. "I don't know what he's talking about," he murmured into his princess' hair. 

 

Loki let out a soft, "Hm?" in the middle of the pleased sigh he had been letting out as he buried his face against the engineer. Tony was warm, holding him, and he smelled good - like a very thoughtful pillow. 

 

"I think you're adorable in the morning," Tony replied fondly, squeezing the other boy to him as he did so. 

 

The younger man smiled happily. "I'm a lot nicer to you than I am to him," he reasoned cheekily. 

 

Although Loki could not see it, Tony raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Do I get special treatment?" 

 

Loki paused for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of what he wanted to do, before placing a kiss on Tony's chest and whispering, "Yes." 

  


 

Tony was actually pleased that Loki couldn't see his face from this position, because he was certain that the expression that overwhelmed his face was one of the most ridiculous he had ever made. He was both infinitely touched and horribly aroused by that statement, and would that he could just roll Loki over, pin him to the bed, and take advantage of that 'special treatment'. Instead, he settled for pressing a kiss to the top of Loki's head, and just as he was opening his mouth to 

reply with something heartfelt and sweet the door to the room opened once more. 

 

The partners sprang apart. Tony sat up and began rubbing his eyes as though he had just been roused from slumber, and Loki stretched in the same spirit. 

 

"You're awake!" Thor exclaimed, unnecessarily. "Mom texted us and said she wants us to come home for the weekend 

because of the weather."

 

Since they were supposed to have been asleep when they heard Thor and Jane discussing this previously, they played dumb. 

 

"Is the weather going to get worse?" Loki asked innocently, trying to make sure his erection stayed hidden. 

 

Thor nodded, unaware completely of his brother's almost-nude body and embarassing physical state. "It's going to get a lot worse. I just went downstairs to grab some food to go, but we should probably head home as soon as possible," he explained before biting into one of the pastries he was carrying. 

 

Loki nodded slowly and exchanged an awkward glance with Tony. Neither of them wanted to get out of bed with their crotches like this. 

 

Luckily Jane seemed to pick up on the fact that the boys needed a few more minutes of privacy, even though her boyfriend remained unaware as ever. 

 

"Hey, I changed my mind. I'd like to grab a coffee from downstairs before we leave," she said to the blonde who was stuffing a whole muffin in his mouth. 

 

He raised an eyebrow at her, but shrugged and acquiesced all the same. His mouth was too full of food to properly say goodbye to his brother, temporary though it was, as he followed his love out the door. 

 

The partners turned to each other with tiny flushes in their cheeks. 

 

"Do you want to come with us?" Loki asked as he debated whether or not to get up and just let Tony see him like this.

 

Almost before the question was completely out of his princess' mouth, Tony eagerly replied, "Yes." 

 

Loki smiled at him and shyly looked down at the bed. "We need to get dressed," he said. 

 

The engineer rolled his eyes at Loki's reluctance and threw the covers off of himself, revealing his almost naked body and the bulge in his underwear. He had exerted enough self control yesterday, and it was far too early to worry about such things as propriety. 

 

The younger man's eyes widened at the action, and though he knew he shouldn't, his eyes immediately traveled down to admire the lump in his partner's boxers. His eyes greedily took in the body before him as Tony rose from the bed and moved to grab his clothes. If Loki was feeling sexually frustrated before, this was torture. 

 

Unfortunately for him, Tony could feel his gaze, and he turned around to see Loki staring at him hungrily. "Like what you see?" 

 

Loki would have scowled at him, but he didn't possess the brain function for it at this moment. Instead he just assumed a guilty expression and looked away before getting out of bed himself. 

 

This time is was Tny's turn to stare. 

 

It should be illegal for Loki to be this handsome. 

 

The partners dressed in heavy silence, clinging to the sound of each other breathing, and longed to stare and touch. 

 

But Thor and Jane returned not long after their departure to collect them and check out. 

 

Loki grumbled to himself in the car as he shifted uncomfortably, lamenting the fact that leather was so unaccomodating of erections. 

 

oooooooo

 

The students had pop ped by campus so they could acquire  a spare change of clothes (at Loki’s insistence because he was dressed ‘like a whore’), and Tony could  grab his car before the four of them moved to the Odinson household.

 

Frigga was on the phone when they arrived, but smiled warmly and gave them all hugs anyway as she ushered their shivering bodies inside. The darling woman had set out some breakfast items that Thor immediately tore into, despite his earlier meal.

 

Tony laughed at the sight of Jane scowling at her boyfriend for his complete lack of etiquette as he shoved an entire croissant in his mouth, ignoring the flaky crumbs that fell from his lips and landed in his beard. The blond stood there with his mouth rounded and full of pastry as he frowned at his ladylove, not understanding why she appeared displeased with him.

 

The partners decided to leave them to it and headed upstairs. “I suppose you’ll be wanting a shower?” Loki asked over his shoulder as he ascended the staircase, unaware of the w ay Tony was admiring his  denim-clad  booty .

 

The engineer was snapped out of his trance, because Loki ’s ass had hypnotic powers, and blinked. “Huh?”

 

When they reached the landing, the younger man turned around and grinned at his friend. “Are you listening to me?” he teased .

 

Loki was  evil . “You were distracting me,” he replied sincerely, perhaps more seriously than necessary. Tony was wary of getting too flirty  after how poorly they had behaved last night and this morning, so he kept his arms down by his sides instead of wrapping them around that tiny waist that was so close to him.

 

But his princess just laughed. “Do you want a shower, or not?”

 

A shower actually sounded excellent. No matter how nice a hotel is, there is something about their very essence that puts the guest in the mood for a thorough cleaning after checkout. That, coupled with the matter of wearing the same underwear as the day before ,  left Tony feeling very enthusiastic about a bath.

 

“Yes, please,” he replied.

 

Loki chuckled again and turned to head down the hallway toward his and Thor’s bedrooms. “You’ll have to use ours. I suspect that Thor will be granting Jane the guest bath ,” he explained as he entered the aforementioned room. He retrieved a clean, unused towel from a large wooden cabinet in the corner of the small space and handed it to his partner.  “Help yourself to any of the soaps, and there are clean washcloths in this cabinet – do you need a razor?”

 

Tony grinned at the way his partner sounded like a fussy housewife and he fought the urge to lean forward and peck Loki on the lips. “ Nah, I heard a rumor that you like it when I’ve got a bit of scruff,” he re plied. So much for not flirting.

 

His princess flushed a bit and scowled at him. “ In correct,” he insisted as he moved to get around Tony and exit the space.

 

But the billionaire was too fast for the trickster. The hand that wasn’t holding the towel shot out and grabbed Loki’s, pulling him back to face Tony. “Are you saying you don’t  like my facial hair?” he teased.

 

Loki looked like he probably  wanted  to keep the grin off of his face, but simply could not hold it back. God he was cute. “It’s unkempt and sloppy,” he admonished playfully, tilting his head arrogantly so he could gaze at the hair on his partner’s face.

 

The engineer smirked and pulled Loki closer. “It’s a shame you feel that way. Thor said something about watching a movie and I was going to pull you onto my lap and just nuzzle the back of your neck with it,” he purred, moving so his face was barely an inch away from his princess’.  He could see the way Loki’s pupils dilated and  watched as a soft, pink flush ghosted over those snowy cheeks in front of him. Loki probably didn’t even realize how much of a turn-on it was to  see  his excited physiological responses – how  exhilarating  it was to know with proof that he was getting his partner all hot and bothered.

 

“Yeah, well…” Loki mumbled as he struggled for words and had a hard time removing his eyes from Tony’s lips.

 

But the engineer saved his partner from the trying task of making speech. “Don’t worry, I probably just need to remind you how good it feels. I’ll keep the hair,” he declared.

 

Loki’s eyes widened. They were in trouble.  Were they fundamentally incapable of not flirting with each other?

 

He flashed one last shy smile before turning and exiting the bathroom so that Tony could shower, though the latter decided to whistle the moment Loki’s behind was facing him.

 

Apparently so.

 

Tony grinned, very pleased with himself, as he shut the door after Loki had departed. He stripped off his clothes and turned the water on, giving the pipes a minute to warm up before he stepped under the spray.

 

This bathroom was cute, and it gave Tony warm fuzzies to be in there, using a towel that belonged to Loki. As long as he was here and could linger for a bit without being accused of pooping, he decided to snoop through the cabinet.

 

There were more clean towels and washcloths, as Loki had told him, there was extra toilet paper and tissues, a candle, some air freshener, and a few travel sized toiletries. There was also a small basket filled with various foreign soaps, lotions, and oils that no doubt belonged to Loki, since Tony could not imagine Thor owning such things. He uncapped a few to sniff them, and t ook perverse pleasure in the presence of the oils that were probably intended as massage aids, but he could think of a few other uses for.

 

The water was surely warm enough by now, so Tony returned everything to its proper place, grabbed a cloth, and entered the shower.

 

One of the sweetest joys in life is being surrounded by an unpleasant temperature and stepping into the opposite. When it is unbearably hot outside and a sudden blast of air conditioner knocks hair back – it’s incredible, and the same it true of the lingering chill of winter. Apparently bathrooms are always immune to the effects of a heater as the freeze always seems to penetrate such spaces, and after lingering nude in the tiny room, watching his nipples grow harder and his goose bumps rise, Tony delighted in the splash of hot water against his suffering body.

 

He tilted his head back and let the water rain over him and wrap his skin in comforting warmth. He could go through all of Loki’s shower items in a moment, but now he just wanted to thaw back out.

 

It would be so lovely if Loki could join him in this space. Showers have the magical property of seeming like they are detached from the rest of the world, especially when they are shielded by a curtain that blocks the view of the rest of the bathroom. They are tiny, private paradises that afford peace, quiet, and relaxation.

 

So naturally, Tony wanted to fuck Loki here.

 

He slid his eyes shut as he brought his hands up to encourage the water through his hair and let out a sigh. If Loki were in here, Tony would soap him up, rub him down, and suck him off. It was a new desire for him, to want to take another man’s cock into his mouth – but his Loki sexuality had him  craving  it. Tony longed to taste his partner’s cum, and to run his tongue along that soft flesh. He wanted to know what if felt like to have his throat adjust to such an intrusion, and if he would be able to swallow or deep throat.

 

He was also obscenely curious as to whether or not his partner was circumcised.

 

A tiny, exhausted groan escaped him as he reached over and grabbed the nicer looking body wash, expected that this was Loki’s.  One sniff of the liquid in his hand confirmed that, and Tony grinned fondly as he lathered up the cleanser between his hands before moving them over his body to clean away the hotel feeling.

 

This was so much fun, smelling like Loki, and he found himself smiling subconsciously as his body was lathered in the fancy soap. This was usually rubbed over Loki’s body, over his smooth, pale chest, down his mile-long legs, over his ass, over his cock…

 

Tony let his own hand grasp the same area on his body. He had been hard since Loki left the bathroom, despite the unrelenting cold of the space, and had tried to ignore his erection in the interest of being respectful and not jerking it in someone else’s bathtub. But apparently Loki had no interest of evacuating Tony’s imagination, which left the engineer little choice but to give himself some relief.

 

This erection was a persistent, heavy thing that responded as soon as Tony’s fingers closed around it. He twitched in his hand and a soft, happy noise escaped him as the familiar grip took his favorite appendage.

 

To be on the safe side, and to avoid having to pause later when it would be harder to do so, Tony sank down to his knees so he wouldn’t be distracted by balance. He spread his legs and lightly fell backward on his butt, letting the spray fall down over his sprawled body with his hand never leaving its perch.

 

Closing his eyes again,  Tony let his imagination run wild.

 

Loki needed to be punished for what a tease he was last night. He had been unnecessarily cruel with his outfit, his word play, and his stupid perfect face. Tony had no interest in abusing him, especially considering everything that had happened – but a bit of friendly torture in the form of orgasm denial sounded  delicious .

 

First, Tony would strip him – slowly, so that he had Loki trying to tear off his own clothes by the end of it.  He would keep his own on, to drive his partner crazy, and would plant tiny, possessive kisses over every inch of skin the moment it became exposed. Tony would suck dark bruises on places that Loki didn’t even know others could see – and he would be claimed. The blemishes would tell everyone else that Loki was spoken for, and he would never be hurt again. Tony would leave proof of pleasure and love, to replace the pain and abuse.

 

He would kiss and suck and lick all over that body, and just when Loki thought Tony was finally going to kiss his lips, the engineer would tie him up. He had a lingering fantasy of binding Loki’s arms above his head, and although he had felt guilty for ever wishing for such a thing after he learned about what happened with Fandral – here in the safety of the shower, in this private oasis, he allowed himself the desire.

 

The tie would have Loki completely at his mercy – subject to all of the pleasure Tony wanted to deliver onto him. Once he was bound, Tony would kiss all over him again, but he might linger in some areas. He might suck on the joint connecting Loki’s leg to his pelvis; he might nibble on his waist and hold his partner down through the tickles; he would take advantage of the exposed neck and just tease the sensitive flesh there with his scruff.

 

No matter what, Tony  would  be doing that later tonight.

 

Then he would take Loki in his mouth. He would lick, suck, stroke, nip, taste, savor, relish, enjoy, and  devour  that boy’s cock until he had him right on the brink of orgasm – and then he would pull away. The only proper way to punish a loved one is to give them something beautiful and to take it away , leaving them wondering if they will ever get it back.

 

Then he would crawl over his lover, part Loki’s lips, and slip his own length into that boy’s greedy, waiting,  wanting  mouth.

 

Tony’s hand, which had been moving in lazy, easy strokes, had picked up speed at this thought, and was now twisting and gripping harder and faster.

 

Loki would keep his eyes open, so he could take note of everything his mouth was doing to Tony – and he would moan and whine on purpose so that his lover could  feel  his passion. His pretty, little head would bob up and down off the bed, taking Tony as deep in his throat as he could from the bound position. The little trickster would suck until there was hot cum painting his vocal cords, and coating his moans in the essence of satisfaction.

 

Then, and only then, would Tony return his mouth to  Loki’s hard, leaking, member. His lover would cum quickly and happily, cryin g out in gratitude and delight as Tony swallowed down every drop of that salty gift.

 

It was this thought of Loki’s orgasm, and not his own, that had Tony’s hand furiously working him through a real release, and it was the sound of a cry torn from his throat so genuinely and unexpectedly that he snapped back to the moment and realized he was spending himself.

 

Loki fantasies were his favorite thing.  It was not normal for a nineteen year old to be so endearing and generous in his sexual fantasies, or to find such satisfying release from such tender and selfless notions, but it was the thought of getting Loki off that really did things to Tony.

 

He lingered on the floor of the tub for a moment, to collect himself and allow his breathing to return to even, and smiled. How lovely it would be when he could finally do these things to his princess; when he could give him endless pleasure and affection in the interest of expressing his love and attraction.

 

One day he wa s going to make Loki feel good, and they were going to be happy.

 

oooooooo

 

After Loki left the bathroom, a tad more aroused and embarrassed than he cared for, he went into his bedroom to wait for his hard on to disappear before he could go downstairs to eat breakfast with his family. He sighed and leaned against the door after it closed behind him, pausing a moment before sliding down to the ground and letting out an exasperated wail. 

 

He was so  _horny_. He had spent the year in an anxious, almost manic state and had been too distracted by his horrible boyfriend to tend to his own needs. But now, now that he knew what it felt like to have Tony's lips on his, his libido had returned with a  _vengeance_. His mind was still tentative about exploring the vulnerability that comes with opening oneself up to a relationship, his heart was still terrified and guarded after what had happened to him - but his body? His body  _craved_  Tony's touch and it was making it unnecessarily difficult to fend off his desires. He knew, in a rational state, that he should not be doing  _anything_  physical with Tony, that he should not be flirting with him this much, and that it would probably be smart to get some distance from his partner until he learned how to control himself. But there was an ache between his legs that kept the blood out of his brain and made his good decisions disappear. 

 

But the thing was, he didn't want to mess this up. If he looked at Tony as nothing more than a hot guy that could give him pleasure, well that wouldn't work for a myriad of reasons - chief among them because Loki knew better now than to share his body with someone who didn't care about him - but the point is that Tony  _wasn't_  just a potential fuck. They were friends - practically best friends - and the boys saw something more in each other than a relationship that would expire once they left the sheets. Loki wanted that. He didn't want it right now, because the whole institution was still completely overwhelming, but someday he did want the commitment and the love and the  _sex_. If he and Tony messed up and started screwing now they were going to ruin their chances of getting together and staying together successfully. Tony would be a rebound who had to try and put Loki back together, and that would be setting them up to fail. When they finally got together Loki would be healthy, sane, and somewhat sexually competent. That was the goal.

 

It was just horrible not knowing how long it would take. 

 

Just as he was about to get up and throw himself on his bed there was a knock on his door that Loki could feel against his back. He reached up and arm behind him to awkwardly turn the knob and peer around the wood. 

 

His mother stood there with two plates, although from his place on the ground Loki could not see their contents. 

 

"Loki, what are you doing on the ground?" she asked with an amused smirk as she stepped over him and entered the room. 

 

He sighed as he closed the door and leaned against it once more. "Brooding," he mumbled. 

 

Frigga set the plates down on Loki's desk and then moved to sit on his bed. "What are you brooding about, my little boy?" 

 

Loki groaned and dramatically threw himself to his side so he could hide his face in his limbs and let out muffled exasperated yells. "Everything!" 

 

His mother paused for a moment, thoughtfully, if nervously, pursing her lips together before she patted the space on the bed beside her and summoned her youngest child. "Loki, come here."

 

The teenager grumbled at the request, as they are wont to do, and slowly untangled his mess of mope to sit next to his mother. The moment he sat down he dropped his head onto her shoulder. 

 

Frigga wrapped a loving, protective arm around her son and kissed his hair. "Do you want to talk about anything?" she asked tentatively. 

 

He shook his head and let out a small huff. Believe it or not, Loki had less than no desire to tell his mother about all the things he wanted Tony's mouth to do to his cock. 

 

She squeezed his arm and took in a sharp breath. "Ah..." she began before taking another breath. "Loki, you still angry with me for lying about your adoption?" 

 

Guilt flooded his tiny stomach. His mother was not a manipulative person, and had not chosen that string of words with the intent of making him feel horrible, but she had said 'lying'. She acknowledged her wrong. 

 

Rather than face her, Loki simply slipped his arms around her and hugged, keeping his face hidden on her shoulder. "No, mom," he answered quietly. "I'm not mad at  _you_." 

 

She held him back, respecting his unwillingness to make eye contact, and let out a relieved breath. "But you are still angry?" she probed. 

 

"Well yeah, at dad. He's the one who always treated me differently," Loki replied. This was a uncomfortable topic, and although it had achieved his previous goal of getting rid of his erection, it was making him feel anxious. 

 

Frigga gave him another squeeze. "He loves you, Loki," she said. "It may not always seem like it, but he does love you - dearly." 

 

Loki wasn't in the mood to argue with his mom, and he really didn't feel like crying, so he just sighed and let the words hang there, Frigga didn't understand, because she had always been a good parent to both of her children and was largely unaware of most of the ways Odin made Loki feel inferior. But, because she was a good parent, even though she didn't, or couldn't, understand what Loki was going through, she still cared about how it affected him. 

 

She turned to hug her son properly and pulled him to her. "I love you, as well, darling," she said earnestly as she rubbed his back. "You are my baby." 

 

He laughed at that and grinned. "I certainly act like one sometimes," he mumbled. 

 

"I mean it, Loki. You are my child, and I am here for you no matter what. Whether it's family business or boy problems - you can come to me about anything," she vowed. 

 

"I know, mom," he answered, willing his voice not to catch at the sudden serious turn. 

 

Frigga smiled warmly and gave him a final squeeze before standing so she could retrieve the plates she brought in. 

 

But Tony also chose that moment to enter the room, toweling off his hair and talking as he did so. "So if my towel were to fall off by accident then you could look, right?" he asked before lifting his head and realizing who was also in the room. 

 

The mother and son just blinked at him as Loki turned a fantastic shade of red and Frigga raised an eyebrow, fighting a grin. 

 

Tony stood there, motionless for a moment before slowly turning around and saying, "Yeah...I'm gonna go set myself on fire." 

 

"If I were you, I would look anyway," Frigga mumbled as she turned to the food after Tony had fled the room.

 

Loki didn't think it was possible to feel more scandalized than he had, but apparently he could. "Mom!" he exclaimed. 

 

She shrugged. "I'm just saying. Now here, I brought you and your towel buddy some food so that Thor couldn't eat it all," she explained before handing him one of the plates. 

 

"Don't call him 'towel buddy'," Loki scowled. 

 

"Should I call him your boyfriend instead?" she shot back absentmindedly. 

 

"He is not my boyfriend!" 

 

"Maybe not  _yet_ ," she mumbled, ignoring his furious blush and pissy animal hissing. "Alright, dear. I'm going to go cook dinner now in case this storm knocks the power out. The news says we can expect rolling blackouts all over the city." 

 

Loki, who had brought a pillow up to bury his face in, peeked out from his bedding and frowned. "We could lose heat?" 

 

Frigga nodded at him as she absentminded fussed with his things. "I suggest that you shower now, if you are planning on it," she advised. "Oh, and tell Tony he doesn't need to worry," she added before winking at him and leaving. 

 

He scowled again, though she could not see him, and threw his pillow back to its designated space on his bed. He needed to rescue Tony from the bathroom. 

 

Sure enough, his partner was clutching a very red face in his hands when Loki opened the door (without knocking). He had not, however, put his clothes back on, and all of the embarrassment Loki had felt was forgotten as he admired the way his partner looked; half naked and dripping. Loki opened his mouth to say something and found himself chewing lamely on air as his brain turned to mush and his blood traveled south. 

 

Tony peeked one eye out from between his fingers and grimaced. "Does your mother hate me?" 

 

"You're naked." 

 

At that comment Tony let his hands fall and glanced down at himself before raising a eyebrow at his princess. "I appear to be wearing a towel. Why, does it bother you?" he teased, striking a subtle pose with his hands 'nonchalantly' resting on his hips so Loki had an uninhibited view of his chest. 

 

But the younger man couldn't make words. He  _stared_  at Tony and felt his pulse racing. Why did his partner do this to him? 

 

"I have to shower..."

 

Tony grinned and dropped his arms as he took a step toward Loki, effectively crowding his space and violating Loki's senses with his smell, warmth, and pheromones. The younger man pressed his back against the door and felt his head swim as Tony leaned an arm up next to his head and brought his face only a few inches away from Loki's. "Be careful," he whispered, bringing his mouth to Loki's ear as he did so. "I peed in there." 

 

And that was why Loki liked him so much.  

 

The diva laughed and smacked Tony, who was also giggling as he stepped back. "You did not!" 

 

Tony nodded gravely. "I simply couldn't hold it," he said solemnly. 

 

Loki smirked playfully at him and folded his arms. "You would never pee in my shower," he countered.

 

"Well something came out of my cock while I was in there." 

 

And all the breath was knocked out of him again. 

 

Loki had to sprint downstairs to grab Tony's clothes for him to keep from making a bad decision. He pretended not to see the way the towel was tenting a bit as he shoved his partner out of the bathroom and immediately pulled his own pants off the second the door was closed. Loki didn't make it to the shower, as Tony had, before he started touching himself. 

 

He sank down to the floor with his back against the door, just like he had in his bedroom, and began stroking the ache between his legs. 

 

Fuck. 

 

He felt ridiculous, sitting here on the floor of a shared bathroom in his parent's house, with his pants pooled around his ankles and his cock in his hand. But  _god_  he felt almost unable to control himself. Tony was making him crazy with lust and if he didn't find some kind of small relief then he was going to end up doing something he would regret. 

 

A small whine escaped his lips as he hand squeezed around base of his often neglected flesh. He needed to turn the water on so he didn't risk someone walking by and hearing his moans or whimpers, and perhaps he could use a lubricant of some kind. Loki crawled over to the tub, awkwardly so because his pants were still around his ankles, and turned on the water, then maneuvered his way to the cabinet that contained all of his toiletries. He kept a basket on the bottom shelf of all the goodies he had acquired over the years, including various treats Odin had brought back for him from hotels in foreign countries. 

 

His father had probably not paid much attention to what exactly he was giving his son because it was unlikely that Odin intentionally gave Loki so many bottles of massage oil. 

 

Loki uncapped one of the bottles, uncaring of which, and poured a tiny amount of the liquid onto his fingers before gripping himself again.

 

He could have cried for how good it felt. Fuck if only he could just let Tony do this to him! Maybe hand jobs were okay. Maybe he could let his partner jerk him off under the covers when they laid together. Would it really be so bad if Tony had his hand where Loki's was? For him to be the one giving Loki pleasure and making him writhe and pant on the floor of his bathroom? 

 

Since masturbation was so rare for Loki, each time was like a rediscovery of his body, and as he shifted a bit to spread his legs further and cup at his balls, imagining it was Tony, a new thought occurred to him. 

 

Loki had never fingered himself before. 

 

His therapist had encouraged him to educate himself on healthy sexual practice, including masturbation techniques, and he had certainly come across fingering several times - but he had yet to try it on himself. It sounded terrifying, and Loki expected pain, but at this moment he was so desperate for pleasure that he found himself swallowing thickly, sitting up to grab more lube, and pouring a liberal amount on his other hand. 

 

It was awkward, trying to find a way to maneuver his body so that he could get to his hole, but he ended up lying on his side with his right leg hitched up and his right arm dropped behind him down between his legs. 

 

If he over-thought this, he was going to get nervous and stop. So instead his slippery fingers felt their way between his cheeks and he pressed one against the clenching muscle he needed to penetrate.

 

He rubbed experimentally for a moment, wanting to see if that would do anything for him, but it felt more like a sensation than anything good, really. Loki cautiously tried to work his finger inside, despite his body's protest, and was shocked again at how tight he was. 

 

How had a cock ever fit inside here?

 

His finger had not the length or girth that his ex boyfriend did, but it was still unpleasant. It stung a bit, and Loki didn't feel pleasure, but rather discomfort. He experimentally wiggled it around and frowned at the sensation. 

 

Mostly he just felt like he needed to go to the bathroom. 

 

Ever so slowly, or at least as slowly as someone losing their mind with arousal can, Loki began to work the finger in and out of his body. 

 

It was still uncomfortable, and he did not understand how this was supposed to get him off, but he continued to work that digit as his other hand reached down to grip his cock again. Loki slipped his eyes shut and pretended that Tony was the one touching him. 

 

He had learned enough from Fandral to know that this was not something he could ever actually do with his partner, because fingering was disgusting and best left to the individual - but he could pretend. He could pretend that Tony would  _want_  to know what it felt like to finger fuck him; to have his hands in such a horribly intimate place, and to give Loki depraved and desperate pleasure. 

 

The more he worked it in and out of himself the more his body grew accustomed to the sensation, but it didn't feel any more pleasurable. But the hand on his cock was pumping faster and harder as Loki tossed his head back and whined. 

 

He wanted to kiss Tony so badly. 

 

Loki's fingering was getting shallower and faster as he approached orgasm, and in a desperate, instinctive move the digit curled up a bit as he plunged it back in. 

 

He hit something. He hit something  _good_. The surprise of the sudden burst of warmth had him releasing a startled cry as he felt himself spill. Cum shot out of him, spurt after spurt as his finger worked him through the experience. 

 

Short, heavy pants escaped him as his heart hammered around in his chest. The running water in the shower was like white noise in his ears and he was vaguely aware of how cold the room was, despite the heat coming from his body. 

 

He needed that. His limbs were trembling from the aftershocks and his mind was cloudy from the intensity, but god he had needed that orgasm. 

 

After lingering on the floor for another minute, allowing his breath to calm down a bit, Loki shakily rose to his feet, kicked off the rest of his clothes, and took a fast shower. 

 

Tony wasn't in his bedroom when Loki slipped into it to change clothes, although the ones he had grabbed from campus were clean, and he wondered for a moment if his mother was actually telling his partner off for his suggestive comment earlier. He furiously toweled his hair and threw on a pair of soft, warm, university sweatpants and a t shirt before darting downstairs to save his friend.

 

Much to his delight, and relief, he found Tony in the kitchen with Frigga; not being scolded, but helping her cook dinner. Loki lingered in the doorway for a minute, not wanting to alert them to his presence, as he listened to their conversation. 

 

"He was the  _cutest_  baby," Frigga exclaimed before putting something in the oven. "Very photogenic, too. I cannot tell you how many pictures I have of him when he was a toddler. Of course, I have a lot of Thor as well, but he did not like to sit still for photos as much as his brother." 

 

Tony chuckled. "You know I'm going to have to see these pictures, right?" he asked playfully as he handed her a bowl of something. 

 

"Oh, yes. Just don't tell Loki, he will get embarrassed. Quite a bit of those photos are of his butt," she quipped back, a soft smile playing on her lips as she did so. 

 

Aaand that's interruption time. 

 

"Don't show Tony pictures of my butt." 

 

Frigga and Tony turned to smile at him simultaneously with amused grins on their conspiratorial faces. "It's a cute butt, Loki," his mother reasoned. 

 

He scowled at her as Tony made an imploring face behind her back. 

 

"Alright, you two," she said as she wiped her hands off on a dish rag. "I need to call your father, but the food just needs to cook," she added before affectionately tucking one of Loki's curls behind his ear and exiting. 

 

Tony turned and smiled at him after she left. "Sorry man, but I was promised pictures of your butt," he stated with a shrug. 

 

Loki punched him lightly in the shoulder. "You will get no such thing," he retorted. 

 

His partner pretended to be wounded by the assault and rubbed the area, making a pained face as he did so. For a moment, Loki briefly considered kissing the spot and claiming it was to make him feel better, but Thor chose that moment to bound into the kitchen. 

 

"Do you both want to watch a movie?" he asked with far too much energy. 

 

The partners nodded before following Thor upstairs to the movie couch. As promised, Tony sat down and immediately pulled Loki onto his lap. The other couple didn't even blink or acknowledge the action as the assumed a similar one, though Loki did seem slightly embarrassed to be resting his such a position in front of his brother. He half-heartedly wiggled a bit as though he might try to move, but Tony wrapped his arms around Loki's waist and squeezed, bringing a tiny blush to his princess' face. 

 

Thor had selected a comedy that he and his brother had watched a million times, and Tony was much too interested in the freshly showered smell he was getting from his partner's neck. He wasted no time in making good on his word to remind Loki how good his scruff felt, and was not-so-subtley nuzzling the side of his neck. He mumbled that his face simply itched and he was using Loki's skin to scratch it, but that did not account for the way he lightly trailed his lips across the flesh. 

 

Loki tried not to let his breath hitch, or to give any tell that he was responding to the stimulation, but Tony seemed to be making a game out of how much teasing he could get away with while they shared the couch with Thor. 

 

Unbeknownst to them, the elder of the brothers was too focused on having his girlfriend in his lap to pay the partners any attention. 

 

After a few minutes of lightly grazing along Loki's long column of nerves, Tony simply rested his chin on that bony shoulder and pretended to be interested in the film. But once he felt Loki completely relax in his arms, he attacked again. 

 

His head was on the side of Loki's neck opposite of Thor, and even though it was a /horrible/, dangerous, stupid idea, and he knew better, Tony latched his lips onto the skin and bit down. 

 

It was a miracle that Loki was able to catch his reaction as nothing more than a sudden sharp intake of breath that he quickly and convincingly passed off as a cough. Thor didn't even look over, though, and Tony decided to keep going. 

 

Now, if Loki had been responsible, he would have pushed his partner off and told him to stop, but a very immature and spiteful part of him rather liked that they were getting away with this right in front of Thor. Over protective, over involved, dared to try and keep them apart, lied to Loki, gets to fuck his girlfriend without any worries, Thor. So instead of elbowing Tony's stomach and urging him off, he inclined his head a bit, and gave his partner more room. 

 

Technically it wasn't kissing and could be written off as weird but playful, but after Tony noticed that he had left a mark where he really shouldn't have, he finally removed his mouth and simpy held Loki. 

 

They behaved themselves for the rest of the film. 

 

oooooooo

 

They had managed to evade the rolling blackouts all day, and celebrated with several more movies. Frigga even came upstairs and joined them for a few hours, fondly stroking her sons' hair. Though her presence was more than welcome, it also very effectively served as a clockblock to both couples. 

 

The five had eaten a very delicious dinner together, and Tony was happy as a fucking clam that he was being so included in this family dynamic, but all day had felt like a repeat of the one before in terms of how frustrated he became. Apparently his earlier pleasure was not enough to sate him for more than a few minutes when he was around Loki. 

 

When the boys finally dismissed themselves for bed, they were both  _dying_  for alone time and were excited and ariused enough to make poor decisions. Once they were in their warm, soft pajamas,they climbed onto Loki's bed for a bit of 'harmless' cuddling. Tony had a makeshift bed on the floor because even though it was much too cold for him to sleep on one of the couches, Frigga had still said, "We have rules," to Loki and made it very clear that there was to be no 'hanky panky' under her roof. 

 

Tony curled up behind his princess and pulled that slim body tight against his chest as he buried his face in Loki’s neck. He let out a ‘hmm’ on his exhale and rubbed his scruff against the flesh there. “You smell like Christmas lights,” he murmured.

 

Loki shivered at the attention, but inclined his head for more contact anyway. “What?”

 

The engineer continued to rub and nuzzle mindlessly as his grip tightened. “You smell like something happy, bright, and warm – but eternally surrounded by cold,” he explained, before dropping an experimental kiss and waiting for his partner’s reaction to such treatment.

 

But Loki welcomed it gladly, letting out a soft noise of appreciation and smiling. “I smell bright?”

 

Tony nodded against his partner’s skin and squeezed harder; he wanted Loki pressed into every inch of him. He breathed deeply, wanting to drink the scent and warmth of the man in his arms, and released a worn sigh after a moment. “I want to consume this smell,” he whispered before pressing another soft kiss.

 

Loki turned in his arms so that their noses were touching and his eyelashes were almost fanning Tony’s cheek. “Say more nice things,” he commanded.

 

“I want to devour you,” he murmured, tilting his head so that his lips were barely pressed against his partner’s; so that Loki could feel the movement of the speech, but would have to lean forward for any lingering contact. “I want to sweep you off your feet, make everything okay, and just let us be happy. And right now, I really want to kiss you,” he added, almost as an afterthought.

 

“Then kiss me,” Loki whispered back.

 

So Tony did.

 

He bumped Loki’s nose with his own and then laid his lips upon those he desired. After the initial shock of actually going through with their forbidden activity, both men pressed forward with tenacity and fervor; licking into each other’s mouths and biting each other’s lips as they let out the moans and gasps of excited teenagers.

 

It is difficult to recognize a poor decision when libido is involved. Their clothed erections, though sated not hours before, were straining against their pajama pants and clouding their judgment. Loki smelled too good and Tony’s arms were too muscular to attempt to escape. So instead of thinking or taking precautions for their potential future relationship, or Loki’s fragile mental state, they kissed.

 

Their brief foray into dangerous activity was interrupted by a knock on the door.

 

“Boys?” they heard Frigga call from the other side. “I have an electric space heater for you.”

 

They sprang apart so fast they might have been shocked. In the blink of an eye, Tony had suddenly appeared in front of Loki’s bookshelf and was pretending to be admiring the selection, as his partner went to open the door. It was left unlocked, and it was only out of courtesy that Frigga had bothered with knocking.

 

“Thanks, mom,” Loki said as he took the device from his mother and avoided eye contact, lest she sense his shame.

 

She did anyway.

 

“Good night, boys,” she said sweetly, planting a kiss on her youngest child’s cheek. “Be good,” she added before closing the door.

 

Loki blushed furiously and went to plug the heater in. “Crazy woman,” he grumbled, knowing perfectly well that she was completely justified in her advice and concerns.

 

Tony just laughed. “Do I still have to sleep on the floor?” he implored, trying his best to sound cute so that Loki would share his bed.

 

But his partner just dropped his chin and smirked at him. “Yes, Tony, you still have to sleep on the floor,” he replied, clicking the heater on. “I would rather her not come in here tomorrow morning and think we made love after I told her we wouldn’t.”

 

Hold up. “What?” Tony sputtered. “She thinks we’re having sex?!”

 

Loki’s eyes donned their owl size as he quickly shook his head. “No! No, she said it more in jest,” he corrected. “All the same, though. It’s better if she doesn’t catch you in my bed.”

 

Well damn, now Loki looked embarrassed and uncomfortable. “Come here, you,” Tony growled as he pulled Loki back onto the bed with him. “I’m not ready to sleep yet, so will you lay on the floor with me and tell me stories?” he asked, stroking Loki’s hair as he did so.

 

That brought the smile right back to his princess’ face. “Yes,” he answered sweetly before placing another peck on Tony’s lips and then dropping to the floor.

 

The boys situated themselves under the mound of blankets that Frigga had provided, and though it was not as comfortable as Loki’s mattress, here they could hold each other without fear of the momma bear. 

 

Tony affectionately stroked his fingers through Loki's hair as the younger man began a tale of why he hated bananas, but that unceasingly entertaining tale was cut short by more kissing. 

 

Neither knew who started it again, but neither cared. They held each other on the floor and kissed happily, relishing in the sweet relief of it, feeling giddy and naughty for how inappropriate it was. They fell asleep like that. 

 

When the power finally went off, around three in the morning, they woke up freezing and darted into Loki's bed without a second thought about the repercussions. They wove themselves back together and took solace in Loki's expensive bedwear, grateful that his expensive taste included warm blankets. 

 

Frigga would have been upset with them for disobeying her, when she came in the next morning to wake them up, but when she saw the smile that Loki was not able to keep off of his face in his sleep, it brought a similar one to hers. 

 

ooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What if I didn't make y'all wait a month for the next chapter? Crazy, right? Thank you for reading!


	19. Snow Day Pt. II, Hot Tubs, & Forts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello my little love boogers :3 y’all continue to blow my mind with your support and enthusiasm. I was sitting next to my roommate reading a review for the last chapter going, “This is a terrible story! I am a terrible writer! STOP ENCOURAGING ME!” and yet y’all always do. I love my readers. Come here to me. 
> 
> I also have more fanart! You can find it on tumblr under the artfp tag and one lovely artist is even taking requests for scenes from this story. 
> 
> I don’t know how I got to be so lucky with y’all.

oooooooo

 

Tony had always preferred sleeping by himself. He enjoyed having space to move around, the freedom to snore or make any other noise that his unconscious body chose, and he reserved the right to jerk himself off upon waking should he find the need to do so. When there is only one person in a bed there is no concern over another's restlessness disturbing one's own slumber, and another person's natural core temperature cannot mess up the space. Solo sleeping eliminated the potential for being self-conscious over things like sleeping with an open mouth, drool, or the dreaded night-poots. 

 

Loki also liked sleeping alone, but it was mostly due to his general disdain for the existence of others. 

 

But tucked away in the small twin been Loki had slept in for most of his life, the young men were very happy to be tucked so close together. 

 

It was still freezing in the morning, despite the power having come back on a few hours after it was knocked out. Since they were unconscious neither of the teenagers had risen to turn the space heater back on, and though Frigga had made sure to reset the thermostat once she was able it was still misbehaving. The only reason the boys were able to rest so comfortably in the frigid room was because of their close proximity (and the fluffy blankets, of course). 

 

The partners had been wise enough to don socks as part of their sleep attire, but Loki had kicked his off at some point during the night. Tony was startled awake by a surprise icicle (a surpisicle) bumping up and resting against his ankle. 

 

His eyes jerked open at the sudden contact and instinctively he wrenched his leg away from Loki's frozen foot. Though he had been sleeping quite deeply and peacefully once he was in Loki's bed, the late disturbance and the previous floor sleeping had contributed to a poor night's sleep overall and as a result his foggy brain could not process or comprehend what the hell had touched him that could have possibly been so cold. 

 

"Is snowing in yur bed," he slurred to his partner as his puffy eyes blinked against the gray morning light. 

 

Loki did not even stir. His lips were slightly parted as he took in deep, even breaths and continued to dream him dreams, and the most reaction that Tony got was a soft smacking of those lips before he was settled again. 

 

Tony was not wrong about the snow, though. Outside the window there were flakes falling thick and fast. This storm apparently had no intentions of ceasing its assault on the city any time soon. It looked as though there would be another snow day. 

 

When his princess did not wake up and tend to the pressing issue of the bed snow, Tony made the difficult decision to move on with his life and go back to sleep. He dropped his head back onto the pillow that he was sharing with Loki, and turned so that his back was pressed against the other's chest, before burrowing back as much as he could into it. This time, Loki did respond, but only long enough to wrap his arm around the engineer's waist and squeeze him tight. It was much warmer this way. 

 

The boys generally preferred to sleep alone, but as the old adage says: when two people are unexpectedly paired together on a long-term project, they will fall into attraction and enjoy sleeping together...

 

Or something like that. 

 

oooooooo

 

Frigga let the children sleep as long as they pleased after she found her youngest cuddling so happily with Tony. From the messy blankets of the make shift bed on his floor she had deduced that the boys had initially obeyed her rule about significant others not sharing beds. But after the sudden power outage and loss of heat, she could hardly blame Tony for seeking the warmth of an actual bed. 

 

It helped their case that they were both fully clothed. 

 

Thor was snoring loudly in his own bedroom, tucked away in a similar bed. She had not attempted to wake him with she saw how deeply he was sleeping, but had fondly admired how  _loud_  he was managing to be even while unconscious. Frigga left Jane alone entirely after she saw that her sons clearly needed more rest. 

 

She was grateful that Loki appeared to be so comfortable around his new friend, and she had a very good instinctual feeling about this boy. Tony seemed to genuinely care for and about her youngest son, and that was really the most important thing when it came to what a parent wants for a child's partner. But she worried for Loki all the same, as mothers are wont to do. Frigga was deeply concerned about her baby's mental state. Although she was not privy to any explicit details regarding the breakup, she had gleaned what a number that Fandragon boy had done on Loki. He had always had issues with anxiety, but the ex boyfriend had brought out something darker that seemed to have stuck with her child. 

 

Thank god he had agreed to therapy because as much as she wanted to do whatever she could to help, she was not educated on how to properly do that. She wanted to give Loki the right advice and simply kiss away his troubles, but the ailments of the mind - the invisible, subjective, sneaky troubles - are the ones she really had no clue how to treat. It is a cruel act on nature's part that she should endow a child with an illness that a mother cannot cure. 

 

As far as Frigga could tell, the therapy seemed to be helping Loki. He was not especially eager to discuss the content of his sessions, but he would always assure her that he thought it was an effective use of his time and that the sessions were beneficial to him. He did, however, still seem to be ashamed to be going. No matter what subtle words of assurance she said to him afterward, his embarrassment remained. It seemed counter-productive that he was beating himself up for being in an environment where Loki needed to learn how to stop hating himself. 

 

But if he said it was helping, and she knew her son would not lie about such a thing, then Frigga would continue to make appointments for him. This was how she could help: be supportive and enable the treatment. 

 

Loki actually had an appointment scheduled for today, but it seemed unlikely that the weather would permit the trip. She would have to call the therapist and request that it be switched to a phone appointment. At least that way she would not have to worry about her child driving on the dangerous roads. 

 

As she waited for the teens to wake, Frigga moved through the house doing the things that mothers do: cooking them breakfast, fussing over her children's bank statements, making their various appointments (Thor was due for a trip to the dentist), and looking for shirts she had purchased for her boys and since misplaced. 

 

Thor came down a few hours after she had checked on him, and her heart flooded with adoring warmth at the sight of his sleepy, grimacing face as he rubbed his eyes and came to give her a hug good morning. 

 

Hugging her oldest child was different than hugging her youngest because Thor was a very broad, sturdy young man - and Loki was going to blow over from a sharp breeze one day. Frigga liked to pat her first born's enormous muscles after she embraced him and make jokes about how he resembled a large breed of dog. 

 

"Would you like something to eat, dear? I made breakfast," she offered, moving to grab her son a plate, as she already knew the answer. His slow, sleepy nodding was so precious on her muscly child that she had to pause to give him another fond kiss on the forehead. 

 

Frigga was incredibly in love with her sons. Ever since she was a little girl herself, she knew that she was meant to be a mother. It was not that she had been overly doting, matronly, or fond of children - but she had always known, in her gut, that she needed to have kids of her own to love and raise. She always imagined that she would be kind and fair to them, with her first priority always being love. She wanted to be wise and caring, and have such a relationship with her children that they would  _want_ to come to her with their problems and know that she would do anything and everything to help them work through them. 

 

She had been absolutely ecstatic when she learned of her pregnancy with Thor, and thought that she fell in love with him the moment the saw the positive sign in her home pregnancy test. 

 

But after he was born, and she held him for the first time, she realized she had no clue was love was until that moment. When she first took him into her arms and gazed into eyes that so strongly resembled her husband's - the tidal wave of affection she felt absolutely knocked her on her ass. She had created something  _perfect_ , and  _wonderful_ , and could not believe what she had done to be fortunate enough to call him hers. 

 

Then, not a few years later, she must have done something equally extraordinary, because she was  _blessed_ with another baby boy. A baby so equally perfect and lovely that the first time she held both of her sons at once she just sobbed for an hour and thanked the universe for how lucky she was. 

 

She still felt that way. In fact, as the years had gone on, she thought that the universe must really favor her because her sons had grown up to be sweet, respectful, clever, handsome, fantastic young men. Her little boys had always gotten along splendidly, ~~mostly~~  kept out of trouble, and surprised her on a daily basis with their wonder. 

 

Frigga was a mother very much in love with her sons. 

 

She smiled to herself as she scooped a generous serving of eggs and bacon onto Thor's plate and heard him let out a mighty yawn behind her.

 

“It looks like there will be another snow day,” Frigga commented, placing the plate in front of her son as she did so and then taking a seat opposite him.

 

Thor tore into his food as though he had not eaten in days, as was his usual fashion. “I wouldn’t mind that,” he replied, pausing only long enough to swallow and then stuffing more bacon in his mouth.

 

“Did you have fun watching movies with your brother all day?” she asked before taking a sip of coffee.

 

Thor nodded and then forced himself to choke down the food in his mouth so he could produce words. “Do you think we can use the hot tub in this weather?” he asked, shoveling more eggs in like it was a competition.

 

Frigga shuddered at the suggestion. “It’s _freezing_ outside! Why would you want to?”

 

“I want to see Jane’s boobs in a swimsuit,” the blond replied with a cheeky grin.

 

His mother scowled, but it turned into a laugh as she lightly swatted him on the arm. “That’s crude,” she answered, her tone lacking true judgment. “I suppose you should be able to use it, just remember to put the top back on very securely, and you’ll want to put the sun screen down to avoid getting snow in there…” she mused before taking Thor’s empty plate and returning to the stove to refill it.

 

“Cool. Thank you, mom,” he said affectionately, both for the breakfast and the permission.

 

Their hot tub was truly incredible. Hot tubs, by nature, are truly incredible. Although they did have an in ground pool in the back yard Frigga wanted to get an above ground hot tub, the kind that stayed hot 24/7 and required a cover. She claimed that she never wanted to wait for the pumps to heat up the water because if a person was going to have a hot tub they ought to have it correctly. The tub was off to the side of the pool on the patio, underneath a wooden roof, to protect against rain. The roof was triangular with the diagonal part facing the pool, and Odin had put up a sun shield on that same edge that could be rolled up or down to block out the sun, rain, or in today’s case – snow. It was almost transparent, and made of little more than plastic, but it was very good at its job. As romantic as it might be to let the weather assault the hot tubbers anyway, if the snow piled up on the patio it might freeze the pipes.

 

Maybe. Frigga did not want to take any chances, especially with her husband out of town. But really, if the boys wanted to subject themselves, or at least their upper bodies, to the frigid temperature then that was their prerogative. She was going to enjoy her snow vacation indoors, with her feet up, and a reality show, thank you very much.

 

“Did Jane bring a swimsuit?” Frigga asked as she returned the plate to Thor’s ravenous grasp.

 

He pouted at that. “Damn, I didn’t even think about that. Alright then, we will skinny dip,” he answered.

 

She swatted at him again and he chuckled as he dodged her swing. “We have rules, young man.”

 

Thor laughed again and fought to swallow his food. “Yeah, but if Loki and Tony are there too then it’s not sexual,” he reasoned.

 

Frigga scoffed at that. “I am aware that you are in an _adult_ relationship with Jane, but it is a terrible idea to let your brother get naked around that boy. Have you not been charged by Natasha to keep an eye on them and make sure they stay out of trouble?”

 

Her eldest sighed and for a moment looked accepting of his defeat, before he perked up again. “But if Jane and I are there then it isn’t sexual!”

 

She laughed fondly at her son and shook her head. “I am not in the habit of enabling poor decisions when it comes to my sons,” she replied.

 

Thor jokingly pouted again. “Poo, you’re no fun.”

 

“Besides, do you really think that Jane would agree to go unclothed around those two?” she pointed out.

 

The blond shrugged as he munched on more bacon. “They’re gay. She knows they are not going to leer.”

 

“Your brother is, but from what he has told me I don’t think Tony is gay,” Frigga replied.

 

“But he kisses Loki.”

 

“That does not make him _gay_ , Thor.”

 

“But Loki is a boy.”

 

“Well-spotted!” Frigga laughed. “Darling, either way, I highly doubt that Jane would be comfortable baring herself nude in front of your little brother and his… whatever the hell Tony is to him.”

 

“His crush,” Thor clarified. “Well if she _is_ comfortable then can we?”

 

Frigga dropped her forehead into her hands and let out an amused sigh. “You know, most teenagers would be far too mortified to have such a conversation with their mother,” she mused before placing her chin in her palm and admiring her bold son as he grinned back at her.

 

“Yeah, but I have a cool mom,” he countered.

 

Ah, flattery; like Kryptonite to lesser minds. But Frigga _was_ a cool mom, and very much operated under the belief that if her sons were going engage in any _less than savory_ behaviors, she wanted them to do so at home where they were safe.

 

“You will not be punished for things I do not know about,” she answered calmly before taking another sip of her beverage.

 

Thor’s grin threatened to split his sweet face open. “You’re the best, mom.”

 

Also, she knew that her half-hearted permission was unlikely to be taken advantage of anyway. For even if Thor was somehow able to convince Jane to strip down to nothing in front of others, Loki would _never_. That was something Frigga very much appreciated about her youngest: he was a prude about his body.

 

She knew next to nothing about his relationship with Fandral.

 

Speak of the devil…

 

Loki and Tony had just entered the kitchen, both rubbing sleep from their eyes, and dammit if her boys didn’t look adorable when they were tired.

 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Frigga cooed as she rose to embrace her youngest child.

 

He mumbled something back as her arms wrapped around his sleep-warm body. Loki half-heartedly hugged her back before dropping his arms, moving like a zombie to the kitchen table, and dropping his head down onto it.

 

“Loki come talk to me for a moment,” Frigga commanded as she stepped up from the table to greet her child.

 

He blanched at the statement, clearly thinking that he had done something wrong and was about to be punished. She smirked at the reaction as she guided her youngest to the living room. Really she just wanted to speak privately with Loki to avoid embarrassing him by bringing up a sensitive subject in front of Thor and Tony. Thor did not know that Loki was seeing a therapist, and although Frigga was almost certain that Tony did, she was going to leave the right as to whether or not to talk about it up to her son.

 

“Relax, child,” she laughed when she spotted the petrified look in Loki’s eyes. “You aren’t in trouble, I just wanted to grant you some privacy.”

 

That statement did not seem to relax him either.

 

“You have an appointment today-”

 

“Ah,” Loki said quietly. He glanced over his shoulder to double check that no one else was coming, or could hear the conversation and then turned back to face his mother.

 

“I was just letting you know that I had it switched to a phone appointment today because I don’t want you driving to those offices in this weather,” she explained gently.

 

Her son nodded and then made another face. “You didn’t, um… I mean he started out on the floor like you said, but the power went off and-”

 

Frigga raised a knowing eyebrow. “It is fine, Loki. I would not expect Tony to sleep comfortably on the floor after the power went out.”

 

His relief was apparent in his expression as he nodded along with her words.

 

“You kept your hands out of each other’s pants, right?”

 

Loki’s head snapped up as his widened eyes met hers. It was astonishing, almost a skill, really, that his cheeks could go from so _pale_ to so pink in a matter of seconds.

 

“N-no!” he sputtered. “We didn’t do anything! I mean, nothing with each other’s pants,” he corrected as the furious blush spread.

 

Frigga folded her arms over her chest and raised the same brow.

 

He looked mortified.

 

“Hey, mom! Dad is calling you!” Thor called from the other room.

 

She chuckled as she shook her head and left to answer the phone. Her sons clearly needed a lesson on keeping their libidos under control.

 

oooooooo

 

As wonderful as yesterday had been, Loki had actual homework to do. It would be perfectly delightful to just climb into Tony’s lap and watch movies all day, but obligations got in the way.

 

Loki grumbled to himself as he changed into clothes for the day. Although he was a particularly responsible student and a well-adjusted young adult, he was still only nineteen and wanted to indulge in the selfish desire of lounging around like a sea slug and have his crush rub his feet.

 

Actually that sounded delightful.

 

Tony entered his bedroom not a moment later, swinging the door open without knocking, and loudly proclaimed, “Damn, your mom makes good bacon!”

 

There was a piece dangling from him mouth to further illustrate the point.

 

Loki smirked at the display and reached over to pluck the remaining bit of meat from his mouth before popping it in his own.

 

Tony scowled and swatted at the thieving arm. “Watch it, skinny. I’m on board with fattening you up, but you should know better than to go after another man’s meat,” he admonished.

 

The younger man laughed around the breakfast meat. “You want to fatten me up?” he repeated incredulously.

 

The engineer looked at him up and down, and it was then Loki realized he had not yet put a shirt back on. “You could do with some extra calories,” he remarked, nodded toward his partner’s extra slim stomach.

 

Loki self-consciously moved his arms to cover himself and grimaced a bit. “I have a hard time gaining weight,” he replied quietly.

 

“Oh, hey no! I didn’t mean to make you feel bad!” Tony quickly corrected as he moved toward Loki, pausing immediately in front of him with his hands out as though he was unsure whether or not he should touch the other man.

 

The boys stared at each other for a moment before Tony did. He ever so slowly placed his hands on either of Loki’s sides, ignoring the shuddering breath it drew from him, and felt the soft skin there.

 

“You are perfect and attractive just the way you are,” Tony commented seriously. He rubbed his thumbs around the sensitive flesh for a moment before continuing. “As long as you are healthy, mentally and physically… and _happy_ , then I’ll like you no matter what.”

 

Loki’s eyes flashed for a moment as though he was going to challenge the statement, but instead he dropped his gaze for a moment and seemed uncomfortable again.

 

“You like me,” he said simply.

 

Tony blinked at him but did not remove his hands. “Yes… yes I do like you. Did you just realize that?”

 

“What if I got fat?” Loki interrupted suddenly, his eyes snapping up to meet Tony’s.

 

The engineer frowned at him. “You just said you have a hard time gaining weight-”

 

“That’s not the point,” Loki snapped, surprising even himself with the harsh tone. “What if I got so fat that you couldn’t have sex with me?”

 

Tony had a bewildered expression. “What? Loki my feelings for you are not conditional upon your waistline,” he answered.

 

But the other man was not convinced. “Really? You would still desire me if I didn’t look like this?”

 

“Um, yes? Believe it or not, I’m attracted to _you_. Look, Loki, you can stay this skinny little thing that I could knock over with a flick, you could balloon up and be my cute, fat guy, you could get a face tattoo, although please don’t, you could shave your head, pierce your eyebrow, and get red contact lenses and I will still like you. I will still _want_ you,” Tony preached, tightening the grip of his fingers.

 

These are the kinds of promises that teenagers make to each other. Not all of them mean it when they vow such heartfelt solidarity to a hypothetical situation, and really even the ones who do mean it cannot know for certain that their words are true because they have not lived long enough to go through trying relationships. They do not actually know what it is like to have a partner make a drastic change in their physical appearance, or the like.

 

But Tony did mean it. In all the conviction that his relatively inexperienced, young, passionate, nineteen year old self could proclaim, he absolutely meant it when he said that he would care for Loki no matter what he looked like.

 

A tear slipped from Loki’s eye as he stared at his partner. Insecurity wracked him because even though he wanted to believe Tony, and god did he, there was still emptiness inside him where his self-confidence should be.

 

Tony’s heart broke at the sight. “Come here, you booger,” he muttered as he pulled Loki to his chest. One arm stayed firmly wrapped around his waist as the other hand traced up and down that long back.

 

“I’m sorry,” Loki mumbled against his partner’s shoulder as more tears fell.

 

“For what?” Tony asked softly as his hands continued to comfort.

 

Loki shrugged. “For this – for being… so insecure,” he muttered.

 

Tony’s grip tightened and he shook his head, though Loki could only feel it not see it. “Loki… you’ve been through a lot. More than… really more than I know how to help with. So…” his grip tightened. “So if this is how I can help you, by listening and reminding you that you are cared for… then that is what I will do.”

 

Loki hugged him back at that and wiped his eyes, and nose, on Tony’s shoulder. “You’re wonderful,” he whispered.

 

They stood like that, for a long moment, just feeling each other breathe.

 

Loki pulled back after a moment and smiled at his partner. “Do you want to do some homework?”

 

Tony’s face crumpled and he shook his head vigorously. “Hell no, it’s a snow day. We should relax again,” he implored.

 

“You can play on my laptop, but I have some reading to do for class,” he said with a sly grin as he turned to pull a shirt on.

 

The engineer pouted a bit and reached out for Loki again once the shirt was on. He pressed himself up against the cotton covered back and gripped his waist once more. “But _Lokiii_ ,” he whined. “I wanna cuddle with you.”

 

The man in his arms laughed and swatted at his arms. “You can cuddle with my while I’m reading, but I have to get this done before Monday!” he explained, ending in a shriek of laughter when Tony’s hands began moving to tickle him.

 

“Are you sure it cannot wait?” Tony implored, digging his fingers in deeper and trying to keep his face out of thrashing range of Loki’s skull.

 

There was another fit of giggles before the slim man practically threw himself against Tony’s chest and panted wetly in his ear. “Hn, please –”

 

Loki knew that would work. His partner’s arms completely dropped after he did that, and he turned to face Tony with a victorious smirk. He had to bite back a laugh when he saw the expression on his friend’s face.

 

“You look upset by something… did my wiggling bother you?” he asked innocently before grabbing his psychology textbook and making for the door.

 

Tony simply growled and shook his head as he snatched Loki’s laptop from his bag and followed his partner downstairs.

 

“You are a wicked man,” he grumbled.

 

oooooooo

 

The boys spent the afternoon in the living room either sprawled on the floor or draped on the couch. Loki had disappeared for a little over an hour to take a phone call, but returned immediately to drop his feet back on Tony’s lap and pick up his reading from where he left off. Apparently that boy had a lot of reading to do because it was almost dinnertime and his nose was still buried in that book.

 

Tony had written a paper, or at least started one and then gave up, farted around on the internet, changed Loki’s desktop background to various graphic or obnoxious things, left to harass Thor, pawed at his partner to make him a snack, and then settled for rubbing his darling’s feet while he tried to distract Loki with different topics of interest.

 

“Alpacas,” he stated simply.

 

Loki did not look up from the book. “Hm?”

 

“Alpacas,” Tony repeated as his thumbs dug into the sole of the foot he was holding.

 

“What about them?” his partner asked distractedly as he turned a page.

 

“How do you feel about them?”

 

His princess scrunched his nose up a bit, but still did not look up. “I do not know that I have an opinion on them,” he replied in the same disinterested tone as his brain continued to soak up psychology.

 

Tony scoffed at the response. “Come on, you have an opinion on everything,” he countered.

 

But Loki only smirked at him, raised an eyebrow and went right on reading.

 

This left Tony no choice but to move on to more drastic measures. He carefully, nonchalantly, lifted the foot to his mouth and then bit Loki’s pinky toe.

 

“Ow! What the hell!” Loki cried, finally looking up from his precious textbook and glaring at Tony as he wrenched his foot back.

 

How ungrateful for the free massages.

 

“Pay attention to me,” Tony commanded quietly.

 

Loki kicked at him and scowled. “You bit my toe!” he admonished, clearly still hung up on what was absolutely _not_ the point.

 

“Loki it has been like five hours – and you left me alone to take a four hour phone call!” Tony countered petulantly.

 

His princess scoffed at his indignation. “It was _one_ hour and it could not be avoided. Can you be patient for a few more minutes? I am almost done with this chapter,” he asked.

 

“What are we having for dinner?”

 

Loki scowled at Tony’s lack of focus. “Go see if my mother is in the kitchen, she may need help cooking it. I will be in as soon as I finish this.”

 

Tony did not move, but continued to stare at Loki until his princess kicked him again and he sprang up to avoid the connection.

 

Part of him was hoping for another home cooked delicious dinner, but part of him also felt guilty for how much trouble Frigga seemed to be going through for the teens. If her sons had always eaten this well then those little shits were spoiled. They had a bread maker.

 

A _bread maker_.

 

Tony wanted a bread maker! Why didn’t he have one of those? He was rich! He wanted fresh baked bread every morning! It was delicious and warm and tasted like a mother’s love, which translated roughly to extra calories and twice the fat. Actually, it was sort of a wonder that Loki could be so skinny when his mother was always shoving delicious meals down his throat. Thor always wolfed them down with a kind of unnecessary tenacity (“It’s okay Thor, you can slow down and chew. Some of this food is actually _for you_.”)

 

Frigga was not in the kitchen, but Thor and Jane were. The lady sat at the table, idly flipping through one of Frigga’s cooking magazines, while Thor had his head buried in the fridge.

 

“Hey, T-bone! Don’t stay in there too long, it will make you think slow,” Tony quipped as he moved to stand next to his friend.

 

Thor popped his head out and frowned at the comment. “What?”

 

The engineer shook his head dismissively as Jane quietly giggled behind him. “Nothing. Hey what do you two want to do for dinner? I feel like we should give your mom a break.”

 

“I agree,” Jane said as she nodded her head vigorously. “We should make dinner tonight.”

 

Thor paused and considered the statement, likely cataloguing what food was actually in the house and what he would be capable of making. “We have frozen pizzas?”

 

Why mess with perfection?

 

“Sounds great! Do you have ingredients for a salad?” Tony replied enthusiastically, clapping his hands together as he did so.

 

Thor nodded and turned back to the refrigerator to gather the necessary foodstuffs.

 

“Has Thor asked you about skinny dipping yet, Tony?” Jane’s soft voice asked from behind him.

 

Say what now.

 

“Say what now?”

 

Jane laughed at his double take and made amused eye contact with her boyfriend as he emerged with his findings. “Apparently their mother gave us permission to skinny dip in the hot tub,” she explained.

 

Tony’s jaw dropped comically. “You have a _hot tub?_ ” he asked, missing the more interesting bit of information.

 

Thor nodded as he went to retrieve a mixing bowl and tongs. “It’s covered by a roof too, and it doesn’t need the pipes to heat up. We can also drop a snow screen to keep the weather out.”

 

 _No fucking way_. Why didn’t Tony have one of those?! This family was advanced, man.

 

“And that sounds great,” Jane interjected, “But I am not crazy about the idea of getting naked in front of a bunch of people.”

 

The blond scowled as he found his cookware. “I had an alternate proposal! We _take turns_ ,” he reasoned, turning to Tony for some kind of pat on the head for a good idea.

 

“We can take turns skinny dipping?” Tony repeated.

 

Then the light bulb went off.

 

“ _We can take turns skinny dipping?!”_

Thor took a step closer to him then and growled. “Now listen here, Tony. That does not mean that you have permission to do anything _impolite_ to my brother. If Natasha knew that I was allowing such a thing to happen, she would slaughter me,” he grumbled.

 

“So why are you permitting it?” Tony asked, genuinely curious about the sudden drop in defenses.

 

The blond sighed dejectedly and looked at his girlfriend. “Loki has kindly asked me to stop interfering when it comes to you,” he replied.

 

Oh, had he now?

 

Tony was not going to fight that. There was a chance he could hang out with Loki alone, in a hot tub, while it was snowing, at night, _naked_.

 

_Think unsexy thoughts. Do not get a boner in front of Thor – think **unsexy** thoughts. _

“Don’t worry. I know better than to pull anything under your mother’s nose,” he assured the protective older brother.

 

“Put what under my nose?”

 

Frigga had entered the kitchen with a bright smile, pleased to find that the teens seemed to be helping with dinner.

 

Tony gaped at her for a moment before collecting himself. “I was just assuring Thor that I know better than to mess with Loki,” he answered.

 

“Ah,” she answered with a knowing smile. “Well I would hope that you no better than to _mess_ with him even when my nose is not involved,” she teased.

 

Thor laughed, saving Tony from coming up with an uncomfortable response, and moved to finish making the salad. “Mother we decided to make the frozen pizzas for dinner,” he said.

 

She nodded and moved to preheat the oven. “How thoughtful of you all to make dinner!”

 

Jane smiled awkwardly since she was sitting at the table and very noticeably, not helping.

 

“Do you want to watch a movie while we eat, mom?” the blond suggested as his mother fussed with his hair.

 

“Sure, sure, dear. Pick out anything you like. Where is your brother?” she asked, turning to survey the kitchen once she noticed her youngest was not in it.

 

“He’s finishing up his psychology reading,” Tony answered.

 

“Well let’s let these pizzas cook, Thor you finish fixing that salad, and Tony would you like to pick out a movie?” she suggested happily as she patted her oldest child on the back.

 

He grinned and nodded before darting upstairs to where the good films were kept.

 

It occurred to him, as he stroked his beard and considered the choices, that he was probably over thinking this decision, but he felt like Frigga would be paying attention to his choice. He settled on _Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels_ because he knew from Loki that it was a family adored film and it was parent-appropriate.

 

When he went back downstairs he found his princess still curled up on the couch with his book, chewing on his thumb. Tony felt a rush of affection and had the strange desire to go exhale on Loki’s scalp.

 

So he did just that.

 

“Hey, pretty thing,” he greeted fondly after he removed his lips. He kept his forearms on the arm of the couch behind Loki’s head and smiled at his crush as Loki looked up at him with a smile. “Are you almost done reading?”

 

His princess continued to smile at him before reaching up to grip Tony’s jaw and pulling it down a bit so he could plant a kiss to the tip of his partner’s chin and then dragged it across his lip.

 

“I had an itch,” Loki said by way of explanation after he released the other man’s face and returned his gaze to his book.

 

Tony smiled and brought his hand up to drag through his sweetheart’s thick, black locks. “We are making pizza and salad, and then we are going to watch a movie with your mom.”

 

“Sounds excellent,” Loki replied as he turned another page.

 

“And then after dark you and I are going to go skinny dipping in the hot tub,” Tony added nonchalantly.

 

“Good deal,” his princess replied, clearly not listening.

 

Tony grinned to himself before planting a chaste kiss to Loki’s scalp and then returning to the kitchen.

 

He was already in the other room when he heard the, “Wait, what?”

 

oooooooo

 

Dinner and a movie with Loki’s family was now Tony’s favorite thing. He _loved_ it when Frigga and her boys would all quote the same lines, when Loki would comment on the action or how unattractive people were, and Thor kept eating and eating and _eating_.

 

But Tony’s favorite part was how they all fit on one couch. Frigga sat in the center, with her eldest on her right and his lady on his lap, Tony sat immediately to her left with Loki on his other side, but his princess sat with his back to the arm and his legs draped out over everyone else, like he was used to.

 

He also fucking loved that he sat next to Frigga. It made him feel included and _wanted_ in their home. When the pizza and salad were gone (thank you, _Thor!_ ) Frigga grabbed ice cream for everyone as they enjoyed the rest of the film.

 

When it was over, the mother disappeared into her bedroom to phone her husband again. Apparently his returned flight was being delayed by the weather and it was causing a lot of grief on his end.

 

Thor and Jane decided that they would like to take a turn in the hot tub, and Loki dissolved into a fit of cruel giggles when he saw his brother awkwardly slip out the door in a towel. They heard him swear loudly once the door was closed and Thor felt the weather hit him. From the living room, Tony saw Christmas lights come on under the roof over the tub and grew even more excited about being in there alone with Loki. He turned to his partner and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

 

Loki smirked at him. “You and I will have a turn, but _I_ will be wearing a swimsuit,” he chided.

 

Tony pouted at that. “Boo! Come on, get naked with me!”

 

His princess tossed a pillow at his head and relaxed back on the sofa. “We both know that is a terrible idea,” he said.

 

The engineer sighed and moved to sit next to his friend. “I know,” he grumbled. “You and I have been acting like a couple, though.”

 

Loki gave him a sideways glance and took in a breath before pausing and considering his words.

 

Tony raised an eyebrow at him. “Am I about to be punished?”

 

“Do you think I am self destructive?” Loki asked.

 

 _Alrighty then_.

 

“What?” Tony blinked in surprise.

 

“Do you think that I set myself up for situations that I know will have a bad outcome?” his partner clarified.

 

The engineer chewed on his lip for a moment and frowned at Loki, unsure of how to answer. “Where is this coming from?”

 

His princess pursed his lips for a moment. “My therapist thinks that I am punishing myself by engaging in behaviors that I know will cause me pain or suffering,” he explained quietly.

 

Ah, lovely. “So… I am one of these behaviors? I am going to cause you pain?” Tony murmured.

 

Loki stared back at him with tired, bright green eyes. “ _You_ are not the behavior. But… the kissing and the touching and the _flirting_ … that is what he says will cause me pain.”

 

Tony opened his mouth to reply but his partner barreled right on.

 

“And I know that he is probably right. I know that. But I also know that I am so _tired_ of everyone else telling me what I should and should not do,” he said, keeping his same even tone. “If what we are doing is a mistake, and I am fairly certain that it is-” he rose an eyebrow for effect, “- then it is a mistake _I_ want to make. I want to be in control here.”

 

Tony guiltily looked at his hands. “But you and I know that it is a mistake to get together now…”

 

And god did this all sound so unnecessarily _dramatic_ and high school-esque. It should not be this hard, and the short and simple of it all is that if the boys know that what they are doing is unwise then they should stop doing it.

 

But that is never how it works. When people are in love, especially the young ones, they do stupid, impulsive, passionate, completely irresponsible and _destructive_ things because the heart and the brain are brothers, friends even, but they are not one. Were the heart ruled by the head then the world would run much differently, and it would certainly have less joy. But these two, these two young, intelligent, clever, witty, bold young men were thinking with their hearts.

 

It is fitting, though, that this is how it should work. For when the heart makes a decision that the brain knows is wrong, the heart is the one who pays the price.

 

Their hearts would pay their price, but not yet.

 

Loki’s eyes softened their gaze and after a moment of considering Tony’s statement, he smiled. “I know that, and really that is not even what I want.”

 

“What do you want?” Tony asked quietly.

 

“I want to hold your hand,” Loki stated simply and with all the conviction he had.

 

The engineer raised an eyebrow at the request.

 

“I want to be able to call you whenever I want. I want to be able to kiss you when the mood strikes me. I want you to spoon me and buy me dinner and make fun of my jokes and eat dinner with my mom and judge people and star gaze and slow dance and watch fireworks…”

 

Tony smiled at him and reached out to take Loki’s hand.

 

“…but I don’t want you to love me.”

 

His hand stopped in air.

 

“I can’t love you?”

 

Loki looked at him apologetically and let his hand meet where Tony’s had stilled. “Not yet, anyway. I can’t… I can’t think in terms of commitment. Love is commitment and responsibility and… love is an experience I am clearly not mature enough for,” he stated simply as though he were listing pizza toppings.

 

Tony frowned at him. “You are not to blame for what happened with him-”

 

“I know. I know that,” Loki interrupted. “But I also know that this disgust I feel toward myself and this… this cloying hate that I have for myself… I cannot move forward with anyone while this is still here.”

 

“I think you’re wonderful,” Tony stated quietly.

 

The younger man sighed and leaned back against the couch. “My therapist thinks that I am trying to validate my self worth through sex.”

 

The engineer sputtered at the accusation. “But you and I are not even having sex!”

 

He did not know that Frigga was walking by at that moment, and so he did not catch her amused grin.

 

“Kissing is a form of sex, Tony,” Loki reasoned gently. “But-” he continued before his partner could interject, “- I do not feel like us kissing is doing me any lasting harm.”

 

To illustrate the point he took the hand holding Tony’s and brought it up to his mouth to place a kiss on his partner’s palm.

 

Tony dropped his head on the couch to mirror Loki’s and smiled at him. “But no naked skinny dipping?”

 

Loki laughed and swatted at him. “We will see what happens. But just as long as your cock stays out of my ass-” he paused to appreciate the way Tony’s eyes widened, “I think we will be alright.”

 

The engineer smiled again and kissed Loki’s hand as his partner had done.

 

It was possible that those words had not been chosen as carefully as Tony was reading into them, but he filed away that specificity for later. Loki had been speaking of intercourse. But that left a whole _world_ of other things…

 

Things like…

 

Tony leaned in to take advantage of this permission and kiss his partner –

 

But apparently their curse in life was to forever be interrupted by Thor when things turned sexual.

 

The blond giant and his ladylove burst through the back door with jittering teeth and shuddering shoulders.

 

“Jane’s nipples were freezing,” Thor exclaimed, dodging the smack that she delivered him for making such a statement.

 

Loki snickered and Tony genuinely could not tell if it was amusement at his brother’s crass comment or at Jane’s suffering.

 

“It’s your turn,” Thor continued. “Just – _make good decisions_ ,” he said very seriously to Loki who merely scowled at him.  

 

Once the other couple darted upstairs Loki rose from the couch and sighed. “Why don’t you go change and I will grab towels and drinks,” he suggested.

 

Tony was only too happy to oblige. He got to borrow one of Loki’s suits and that was making him more excited than was appropriate.

 

He changed quickly, though he did briefly consider staying naked for as long as possible until his partner came in to change and then _pretending_ that it simply took him a long time to find the suit and oops! Loki was not supposed to see his penis but he did? Oh well!

 

It was for forever unknown reasons that he abandoned such a clever and well-thought out plan.

 

Once the boys were dressed for the occasion they slipped outside and immediately uttered curses similar to the ones Thor had thrown out against the night air. They were unkind, and frankly the weather was a little offended.

 

Thor and Jane had left the Christmas lights on and the screen down, which was great because the snow had started falling in earnest again. It made the backyard look beautiful, and with the lights the effect was really special, but their nipples were going to suffer the same fate as Jane’s if they did not get into the tub soon. Loki paused before he stepped in to turn on two tall space heaters that were also on the patio that Thor seemed to have forgotten about – or at least forgotten the function for.

 

It felt _sinfully_ good to slip into that tub, and the partners let out matching “ahh”s of pleasure as they sank under the water.

 

Tony had hoped for actual drinks, but it looked like Loki had just brought them plastic cups filled with soda. One sip though and he raised an eyebrow at his partner. “Has this been doctored?” he asked quizzically before taking another sip to be sure.

 

“Jack and Coke,” Loki replied with a grin.

 

Ah, perfect! Immediately after their conversation about how physical they were willing to be, they dove into a romantic hot tub and decided to chug down _whiskey_. Tony was an old friend of the liquor and would not feel flush from it for a while – in fact shots would do better for such a thing – but Loki was a pretty, little lightweight when it came to drinking, and Tony knew he needed to be careful.

 

They relaxed against the edge of the tub, sitting closer to each other than was necessary, before Loki started talking.

 

“I was afraid of this tub when I was a child,” he said quite suddenly.

 

Tony raised an eyebrow and knocked back more of his drink. “How come?”

 

Loki shrugged and brought his hand out of the water to run it along the side of the machine as he regarded it, before quickly remembering how cold it was outside and dropping the appendage back where it was warm. “The jets frightened me, and the sound of the pump,” he explained. “It always sounded like soldiers marching and that frightened me.”

 

What a cutie.

 

“Are you still afraid of it?” Tony asked, nudging Loki with his elbow as he did so.

 

His princess barked out a laugh and took a sip of his beverage. “Hardly. I would not have come out here if I were,” he answered.

 

He was playing right into Tony’s clever playboy game. “Not even with me here to protect you?” he purred.

 

Loki’s laugh was a clear, full, delighted, _wonderful_ thing, but Tony could not understand why it was happening. Apparently though, his confused face only made his partner laugh more.

 

“What?!” he insisted after thirty seconds or so of the incessant giggles. It was bordering on offensive.

 

The younger of the two caught his breath and gave his partner a look. “What was that _voice_?” he panted.

 

Tony blinked in confusion. “What voice?”

 

Loki’s lips looked as though they might crack into laughter again. “That, _Casanova_ crap you just did.”

 

The engineer scowled at the accusation and scooted away from his partner; although the direction of the jet stream wanted to push him right back.

 

But his little diva was not having it.

 

“Tony, you don’t have to put on _moves_ to get me interested. I already like you,” he said through a smile as he closed the space between them.

 

Who could resist such words? Not Tony.

 

He lifted an arm around his darling’s shoulders and enjoyed the sounds the water made as he did so. “Oh yeah? Go on, tell me how much you like me,” he teased, perfectly playful in his delivery.

 

Loki swatted at him. “I’ll _show_ you in a bit if you are willing to wait. But I want to enjoy the water first,” he replied before dropped his head onto his partner’s shoulder and relaxing his body.

 

He had thought perhaps that it might take him a while to get an erection if he kept his hands to himself and his mind _relatively_ out of the gutter, but the hardening in his trunks was saying otherwise.

 

His right hand absentmindedly began to run up and down along Loki’s and the other boy hummed in contentment. “You know,” Tony began, “We don’t have class tomorrow so we could just stay up all night and watch movies – like an old fashioned sleepover,” he suggested.

 

Loki hummed again. “Should we pitch a tent and drag snacks into it?”

 

“I’m already pitching a tent,” Tony grumbled, laughing when his partner swatted at him. “I think that sounds fun. We will make a nice pillow fort and snuggle in there tonight.”

 

He could feel Loki’s smile against his shoulder and he wanted to bottle the sensation. What a fucking feeling: a wet, sweet, hidden, genuine smile revealed by the nerves in his flesh.

 

 _‘I know I make you happy_ ’ he wanted to whisper.

 

“I like that idea. Let’s do it,” Loki agreed quietly before removing his head and then turning to drape his right leg across Tony’s so he could straddle his lap. “Now about that tent you’re pitching…” he murmured before leaning in and claiming Tony’s stunned lips with his own.

 

The engineer placed his drink on the edge and wrapped his arms tight around the boy on him.

 

God _dammit_ , Loki.

 

Loki’s kisses tasted like chlorine and whiskey, and Tony idly wondered if his were the same. He could feel the stringy strands of black hair tickling his face as his tongue dove in over and over and _over_ again into the warmth of Loki’s mouth. His teeth caught his partner’s bottom lip between them, and as he sucked the flesh he pulled a groan from Loki and he hoped that his attentions would leave a bruise to remind him of that sound.

 

One hand trailed up his crush’s back to tangle in his hair and press Loki’s mouth harder to his as he licked into it again.

 

Their breathing turned haggard, their hands grew restless as they roamed over each other’s chests, backs, and necks, and their kisses grew desperate. Tony tried not to leave any more marks on Loki’s neck, as the accidental bite he had left was still glaring red and purple at him, but the fucking _noise_ his partner made when his lips found those spots made him lose all sense.

 

Tony was acutely aware of how hard the other was and thought about celebrating the new freedom in boundaries that Loki had set forth, at least the ones he perceived to be there, but his gut told him to keep his hands about the waistline.

 

So he did.

 

They could not have been in the tub for more than an hour, but the weather seemed to have dropped at least ten degrees. While the tub was keeping its temperature and the space heaters were still going, they were not enough to block out winter’s chill and Loki’s nose had grown red.

 

The boys scrambled out of the tub, hastily pulled the top on and secured it, switched off the heaters and the lights, collected their cups and sprinted back inside. The second the back door was closed Tony threw his towel around Loki’s shoulders and pulled the boy against him before planting tender, affectionate kisses all over his flushed and panting face.

 

“Come on,” he whispered in between kisses, “Let’s go make that fort.”

 

It was a crude thing, but after they had toweled off and put on soft, warm pajamas, they fashioned a fort of sorts on the floor of Loki’s bedroom. To spare themselves the chill of sleeping on the ground they simply dragged Loki’s mattress, along with all the bedding atop it, onto the floor. Once they had draped a blanket overhead, because it is simply _not_ a fort without that, they pulled up the laptop and settled in to watch a movie.

 

Loki was lying against his chest and Tony wanted to scream for how good it felt to hold this warm, sweet, loving thing against him. They fit together so nicely it was _irritating._

They did not make it all night watching movies, but midway through _Die Hard,_ the most romantic of all movies, their lips found each other again.

 

Loki had put it well earlier: this was probably a mistake, but it was one they wanted to make.

 

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Wheeee thank you for reading!


	20. Tony's Birthday, Vegas, & Orgasms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I started writing this seven hours ago. I forgot to sleep! :3 y’all are amazing and I love you.

oooooooo

 

“That’s it for today. Remember to bring your graphing calculators on Monday, you will need them.”

 

Tony had not listened to a goddamn word the entire class period. His mind was running a mile a minute and his nerves were completely fragged.

 

First his attention was stolen by a bug he spotted on the window. It was scuttling along the outer screen and waggling its freedom in his face. Every few seconds it would flutter its wings a bit as if it needed to remind him _‘I can leave whenever I want’_.

 

He ended up staring at the bug for a half hour.

 

The ridiculous distraction would have continued but his neck started to hurt.

 

Then he attempted to turn his focus over to the material being taught, but realistically he already _knew_ this stuff and it was only because the professor did not like him that he had to be there at all. Attendance was a big part of the grade in this course, so although he could easily flitter in and score well enough on exams to demonstrate competency – this _monster_ wanted him in the classroom three times a week as well.

 

So it was _inevitable_ , really, that his attention could not be kept and would instead turn over to the different scratches in wood on his desk. There were initials for different Greek groups, pen drawings of dicks, and someone had written _‘SAVE ME’_.

 

Tony elected to contribute an otter.

 

Ultimately the class was a waste and the second he was dismissed, the engineer sprang up and bolted out of the space before the bug on the window had time to blink.

 

Also the little fucker had flown away.

 

Really, the last two weeks had taken too long to pass and that class was the last thing standing in between Tony’s delicious, exciting plans for the weekend so it seemed unbearable.

 

The moment he had stepped out the door his phone was in his hand and calling Loki.

 

Tony’s heart was thudding dully in his chest, partly from his exertion in attempting to vacate the building as quickly as possible, but mostly due to his excitement.

 

“Hey, blue jay,” Loki chirped, sounding just as giddy as Tony felt.

 

“I just got out of class. Are you ready to go?”

 

“Yup! I’m packed and showered.”

 

“Cool, do me a favor and let Thor know we will be leaving soon and I will call the girls,” Tony requested distractedly as he pulled his car keys out of his pocket.

 

“Should I tell him to meet us there with Jane since you only have five seats in your car?”

 

“Good thinking, you.”

 

“Are you going to come get me?”

 

“Of course I am,” Tony replied with a small smile. “I am getting in the car now so I will be there in a minute.”

 

“See you soon!”

 

Tony grinned at his phone as he hung up.

 

He had barely been able to spend time with Loki in the last two weeks and among other reasons, that was why he was so looking forward to this weekend. His partner had been horribly busy with some psychology nonsense and Tony kept being pulled away with matters of the company.

 

It was fortunate that usually he was able to keep away from the bureaucratic bullshit of it, but he was turning twenty-one in a year and then he would be at the forefront of it all so it made sense to get used to it now.

 

Except that he hated not being able to see Loki. Forget the attraction and the sexual tension fueled flirting, Tony missed hanging out with his _friend_. Loki acted as a stress reliever and his mere presence did wonders for the billionaire’s general well being.

 

After how busy and ridiculous the last two weeks had been he wanted nothing more than to cut loose with his sweetheart, sneak in a few kisses, and blow off some steam.

 

Which was why they were all headed to Vegas.

 

oooooooo

 

“I thought you were turning twenty, not twenty-one,” Natasha remarked as she tucked her bag into the overhead bin.

 

Tony turned around and grinned at her. “You are correct!”

 

She raised a Russian eyebrow at him and tried to hide her amusement. “How do you plan on enjoying the city when you are not old enough to partake in most of it?”

 

His grin widened and his eyes appeared almost manic with glee as he brought his hands together conspiratorially. “Ahh, yes my children. Even though it’s _my_ birthday tomorrow, I have a gift for all of you. Except Thor,” he replied, digging into his back pocket.

 

The blond looked up and pouted.

 

“Fake I.D.’s?” Pepper questioned as she took the plastic card being offered to her. “Is this a good idea, Tony?”

 

“I like to live dangerously.”

 

The strawberry blonde narrowed her eyes at him. “Isn’t there a huge fine if you are caught using one of these?”

 

“So don’t get caught,” he replied nonchalantly as he handed one to his sweetheart before taking a seat next to him and grinning.

 

“ _Tony_.”

 

“You don’t have to use them, but I figured this was a better alternative than staying in the hotel room all weekend,” he answered quickly, wanting to continue making disgusting goo goo eyes at his partner.

 

Pepper sighed and relaxed against the seat as she examined the forgery. “It does look pretty real…”

 

Tony scoffed and pretended to look offended. “You think I would settle for anything less than perfection?”

 

Thor was still pouting. “Why don’t I get one?”

 

Loki leaned forward to look over his partner and stare at his brother. “Because you are already twenty-one, _Thor_ ,” he snipped.

 

The blond looked down at Jane’s card and continued to look sad. “But they are like party souvenirs,” he mumbled.

 

“You can have mine when this is over,” Jane offered, lacing their fingers together as she did so.

 

Her boyfriend smiled and kissed the top of her head, ceasing his pouts.

 

Tony had initially considered just bringing Loki on this adventure, but reconsidered after he realized that he would probably get a lot of shit for it, and he actually wanted more people to celebrate with. These were his closest friends, and even though Jane was really just here for Thor and Natasha was furious with him, he wanted them here.

 

It was actually alarming to him how angry Natasha was when she learned of how he and Loki had behaved over Valentine’s weekend. First she went off on Loki, accusing him of not taking ‘this’ seriously, this being his health and well being, and then she decided that Tony needed an earful too.

 

Unfortunately, she had a point. After the discussion he and the girls had the night before Valentine’s Day where he promised to behave himself and heed their advice, he turned around and stuck his tongue down Loki’s throat.

 

Repeatedly.

 

He may even have pinched his partner’s nipples a few times.

 

It ended up working out nicely for Natasha’s wishes that he and Loki were not able to spend time together, but she did not realize that the more she pushed the more it incensed the boys to continue their behaviors.

 

Tony was actually annoyed with how much she was intruding, but he also understood _why_ , and really was disappointed with himself for disregarding their perfectly wise and sound warnings in the interest of his libido.

 

Loki was torn on it. On the one hand, he did not like to be told what to do, Natasha was not his therapist, and she was potentially overstepping her rights as a friend. On the other, after the way they drifted apart because of Fandral last semester, Loki was wary of losing her again because of another crush. Instead of outright ignoring her or putting her in her place, he had endured the lecture and promised to behave better.

 

He had kept that promise, too. The boys had not kissed since that weekend.

 

But now they were all going to put angst behind them by drinking, gambling, and Tony was going to kiss Loki on his birthday dammit.

 

“Thank you for arranging this, Tony,” Jane said, tearing him out of his make out fantasies.

 

“Oh, it’s no problem! Thank you all for coming,” he answered, happily.

 

“This plane is amazing,” Thor murmured as he gazed around the space. “Does the pilot work for your company?”

 

“The pilot comes with the plane, in a manner of speaking. He is an old family friend.”

 

Thor nodded in understanding as he continued to take it all in.

 

It was an impressive plane, and most nineteen year olds could not boast that they have their own private jets.

 

“It’s a six hour flight and we should be landing about seven,” Tony informed his fellow passengers.

 

“Can we watch a movie?” Pepper asked as she motioned to a television in front of them.

 

“Pep, we can do whatever you want,” the engineer replied with a delighted smile. He did not give two shits about what the group did as long as they all had fun and he got to sit next to Loki.

 

His princess grinned at him and it lit up his whole face. Tony seemed to have forgotten how green Loki’s eyes were because at this moment he was marveled by their intensity.

 

They put a film on, but Tony watched Loki instead. Since Natasha was here, and close enough to rip off whatever appendage she desired, the partners had to play it cool and stick to strictly platonic and chaste behavior. They did not lean on each other, tangle their ankles, hold hands, cuddle, nuzzle – nothing! They did, however, gaze at each other and smile a lot; like two idiots.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes and let them be.

 

When the film was over, Thor decided he was feeling fussy and needed to _physically_ do something to pass the time.

 

So they played hide and go seek.

 

It did not last long, because there was nowhere to hide, but they did come up with creative ways to attempt to avoid being seen and soon the delight of the game became trying to come up with the most ridiculous attempt.

 

They played poker, not strip poker because Natasha _sucks_ , black jack, and started another movie to fill the rest of the time.

 

When they landed the teens were all positively _giddy_ with excitement. There was a car waiting for them, because that is how Tony Stark does things, and they went straight to the hotel.

 

The group had made an executive decision to skip their classes on Monday and stay for an extra day, since Tony was paying for _everything_ and even though spring break was the following week, everyone wanted to enjoy this little vacation together.

 

Thor wandered around the lobby, awestruck with how _expensive_ and nice everything looked. There were palm trees, crystal chandeliers, marble floors, leather couches, an elevator man – it was insane.

 

When Tony returned with the keys he handed one to Jane, one to Pepper and kept one in his hand. The girls all blinked at him with confused expressions when they noted the different room numbers on the cards.

 

“I thought we were all crowding in one room,” Pepper explained as she turned the key over in her hands.

 

Tony balked at that. “Don’t be insane! You and Natasha have your own room, Jane and Thor get some privacy, and Loki has to sleep on my balcony,” he teased, grabbing his partner’s side to tickle him and then laughing when Loki swatted at him.

 

“That’s really sweet of you, Tony,” Jane said. Thor was walking back over to them and still marveling over the hotel.

 

“Yeah, you didn’t have to do that,” Pepper agreed with a guilty expression.

 

“Nonsense. You ladies need privacy from the nasty boys and I want everyone to have a good time this weekend,” he insisted. “Now let’s all get settled in and meet back down here in… a half hour? We can all grab dinner together?”

 

The group nodded and murmured their agreements before moving to the elevator and then separating into their respective rooms.

 

When Thor realized he was alone with Jane his face split open on a grin. “Do you know what this means?” he whispered excitedly as she tried to get the key in the reader.

 

“Yes, Thor, I know, stop hitting me,” she grumbled at his petting.

 

Natasha had given him an appreciative nod before slipping into her room with Pepper.

 

Tony opened the door to his shared room and casually entered, before depositing his suitcase on the bed. He moved to open the window and paused when he saw Loki still standing in the door way looking dazed.

 

“Are you okay?” he called with a frown.

 

Loki turned his stare on Tony, his eyes stayed just as wide. “This is amazing,” he breathed.

 

The birthday boy smirked and crossed the room to pull Loki into it. “I like this hotel, I’ve stayed here once before,” he remarked before taking his partner’s bag from him and placing it next to his.

 

He was startled by a cry from the bathroom and sprinted over to see what was wrong.

 

“There’s a Jacuzzi tub _and_ a shower?” Loki gaped as he pointed accusingly at the bathing spaces.

 

“The tub also has jets, if I recall…” Tony murmured as he leaned over the edge to see if they were in fact there.

 

They were.

 

Loki faced him with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Thank you so much for setting all of this up. I feel spoiled.”

 

Tony took a step closer to him. “You should be spoiled.”

 

“I’ve missed you.”

 

His heart melted a bit at the words and he pulled his princess into a hug. “I’ve missed you, too,” he murmured into the neck pressed against his mouth. He felt a shiver go through Loki’s body and grinned at that effect.

 

When they pulled away Tony felt another punch in the gut as Loki’s eyes reminded him once again that they were green beyond all reason.

 

“What do you want for dinner?”

 

“Can I kiss you?”

 

Loki looked startled. They had spoken at the same time but heard each other very clearly. He nodded breathlessly as a familiar smile broke out over his cheeks and by the time he closed his eyes Tony had his hands on Loki’s jaw and their lips together.

 

His lips were so fucking soft.

 

Loki did this thing, and it may not have been a conscious effort, but whenever Tony kissed him he always made this little sound in the back of his throat. It was not quite deep enough to be a moan, but not loud enough to be a cry, not breathless enough to be a gasp, and not sharp enough to be a grunt. It was a half whimper that made Tony weak in the knees.

 

He kept his tongue out of that mouth, for now. The night was young, though. There would be plenty of time for tongue diving later, after everyone had a chance to relax a bit.

 

When he pulled back he kept his hands on Loki’s face and smiled at him for a moment before they started giggling like children.

 

They changed into nicer clothes, because they had dressed for comfort on the flight, and Loki fussed with his hair in the bathroom. Tony grabbed his wallet and cell phone, took Loki by the hand, and took him back to the lobby.

 

There was a restaurant right in the hotel, but Tony wanted to get outside and walk somewhere. He felt alive and amplified and wanted to indulge in teenaged impulses for as long as he could call himself a teenager – which ended at midnight.

 

The girls had dressed up a bit as well, wearing dresses instead of sweat pants and leggings, and even Thor had put on a white dress shirt. Tony grinned at the group and they set out into the streets of Vegas.

 

Tony was in the mood for something fun – like sushi, and it was just his luck that a Kaiten style bar was not half a mile away. They were a bit over dressed for conveyor belt sushi, but it was Vegas and they were having fun.

 

No one objected to his choice in restaurant, partly because he was paying for everything, and the moment the were seated the group became delighted and fascinated with the mechanics of the place as roll after roll of pretty and delicious sushi moved past their faces.

 

“Eat whatever you want,” Tony informed the group as he reached for his first dish.

 

Thor seemed to take that as a personal challenge and nodded very seriously before taking his own dish. The girls examined a few options, waiting to see what the belt would bring, before digging into their own.

 

Loki was already reaching for his second plate by the time Tony looked up.

 

“I like sushi,” he defended as his partner laughed at him.

 

Once everyone had food in their bellies they began a game of grabbing unknown dishes and trying to get Thor to eat them. It really was not so much of a game since the blond was an excellent sport and had no objections to trying the foreign dishes, but they all had fun with it none the less.

 

Since they were seated in a row and now at a table facing each other, Natasha could not easily keep an eye on her favorite pair of troublemakers. Tony took advantage of this while the girls watched Thor ingest something with an alarming amount of wasabi, and picked up one of his rolls with skilled fingers and then offered the chopsticks to Loki’s mouth.

 

“Can I interest you in whatever this is called?” he quipped.

 

His princess opened his trap and devoured the treat, closing his eyes and letting out a yummy noise as he did.

 

“Should we get desert here or keep moving?” Tony asked as he picked up another dish off the belt and fed Loki again.

 

“Iz yer call,” Loki replied around a mouthful of rice, seaweed, and crab.

 

Keeping moving they did. Tony paid the bill, waved away their thanks and sheepish glances, and led them out of the restaurant after they all waved to the chefs and thanked them.

 

They headed back to the hotel and decided to make desert out of alcohol. The cocktails they all wanted to indulge in would have plenty of sugar, enough to sate the post-meal requirement.

 

There was a casino in the building, and once the fake I.D.’s had proven their use the group made for it.

 

It was acceptable, at this point, to split up a bit. Tony purchased chips for everyone, again ignoring their guilt, and then took Loki’s arm so they could do a bit of gambling.

 

“What number should I bet on?” he purred into Loki’s ear as they stood next to a table.

 

“Red two,” Loki answered back, pressing his arm against Tony’s so the silk of their shirts slid together.

 

“Why those two?” the engineer questioned as he placed chips there, anyway.

 

“Your shirt is red and your birthday is the second,” his princess answered, as though it were obvious.

 

“Ah.”

 

Loki’s logic proved fruitful, though, and Tony was handed twice the amount of chips he bet.

 

“Oh, you’ve got a gift!” he teased. “Where should I put it next?”

 

“Black seventeen.”

 

“Why there?”

 

“Because I said so, dammit!”

 

Tony did put it there, and once again Loki made a good call.

 

The boys stayed at the table for the better part of an hour, taking turns deciding where to place the chips and coming up with various reasons. It was a fun game to play with a rich person because there was no real _tragedy_ if they lost every time. Though much to the annoyance of the other people at the table, they had a lot of success.

 

They kept their drinking almost to a minimum, because Tony reasoned that he did not want to spend his birthday hung over and sick, but they did share a few cocktails as they enjoyed the evening.

 

By eleven thirty Loki was pleasantly buzzed, Tony might have been considered ‘warm’ and they felt they had done enough damage in the casino for one night. They would, of course, be returning again throughout the weekend and there was no need to hit every table in one go.

 

Loki gave a quick hug goodnight to Natasha, who elected to keep her warnings and opinions to herself for the evening (perhaps because it was the eve of Tony’s birthday and he had been so generous with everyone), then followed his partner up to their room.

 

The pair moved through their nightly rituals: brushing their teeth, washing their faces, and in Loki’s case putting on moisturizer and lotion.

 

“It keeps my skin soft,” he grumbled.

 

“I’m not complaining, I like your skin,” Tony retorted with a grin.

 

The engineer brought black, cotton sleep pants and one of his favorite tank tops to sleep in. It was perfectly appropriate and respectful considering that he had chosen a room with only one bed.

 

Loki, who had been prepared to share a room with everyone else, had an over sized t-shirt with a picture of an otter on it, oddly appropriate, and cotton shorts.

 

“I thought it might get hot with everyone sharing a bed,” he reasoned as he glanced down at himself and realized how much _leg_ he was exposing.

 

“I certainly don’t mind. Come here,” Tony said as he reached out his arms to usher Loki on to the bed with him.

 

He patted his lap and Loki draped his legs across it, bending the knee so he could still sit next to his partner as he did so.

 

Tony began lightly stroking up and down those mile long limbs and Loki let out a pleased hum. “Alright, it’s been two weeks,” he began, and his princess looked at him with surprise. “Catch me up on everything that has annoyed you in that time.”

 

Loki grinned at him and settled against the pillows, purring a bit at the touches he was receiving. “Well first of all there is this _asshole_ in my relationship course…”

 

Tony grinned.

 

oooooooo

 

Tony had never been harder in his life, he was certain of it.

 

He groaned as he blinked open his eyes, ripped from sleep by the screaming ache between his legs. Morning wood was usually just a minor annoyance that either went away with after he calmed it down enough to take a piss, or gave himself a quick and easy stroking – but today it was devastating.

 

The root of the problem was lying next to him with its hair splayed out against the pillow and its limbs tossed wildly in different directions. There was one limb behaving much the same as Tony’s, though, making a bit of a tent in the sheet on top of him.

 

The engineer groaned. From his position, with one leg tucked over Loki’s, he only need to rock his hips forward against his partner’s side to get the friction he wanted.

 

So he did.

 

And again.

 

And again.

 

His right arm slid up and over Loki’s slim waist so he could hold the boy against him as he continued to slowly, shamelessly, rock against his side. He saw those eyes blink open and a head slowly turn toward him before a sleepy grin broke out and moved forward to kiss him.

 

He wasn’t expecting that.

 

He also was not expecting for Loki to roll him onto his back, slide a leg over his, and then move on top of him – without separating their lips.

 

Morning breath be damned, this was exciting as hell.

 

Loki’s hips began to mimic what Tony’s had been doing moments before, but this time he was grinding their clothed erections against each other.

 

It was far too early, far too warm, and far too dark for either of them to properly get worked up about how this was a big step for them, and they probably shouldn’t be doing it, and blah blah blah. This time there were no alarm clocks, no hammering hearts, no tears, no brother in the next bed, no _interruptions_. Just the two of them rocking their arousals against each other.

 

His rhythm was a bit clumsy at first as he adjusted to what felt good for both of them, and he had just been stirred from sleep, but eventually Loki’s hips started moving without his will and figured it out on their own.

 

He dropped his head next to Tony’s and let out little whimpers and pants into his partner’s ear as he ground himself against the other.

 

Tony brought one hand to Loki’s neck to rub it lovingly, and the other pressed against his ass to encourage his movements.

 

In the dark of their room, still wrapped in their messy sheets, the only sound was the movement of fabric as they moved together, and their soft pants and groans that mixed together in the sweetest symphony Tony had ever heard.

 

It was _perfect_. Holding Loki like this, _feeling_ like this – and Loki was the one doing all the work and setting the pace.

 

When his princess’ breaths became shallower and more erratic and his hips began faltering in their rhythm, he knew Loki was close and turned to kiss the side of his neck where Loki liked it.

 

All of the sudden the body above him was shaking and Loki had let out this _gorgeous_ cry next to his ear as he came.

 

Tony continued kissing his neck until the shaking stopped and the man in his arms felt boneless and relaxed, panting all the while.

 

But Loki did not leave him wanting. He paused only a moment to collect himself, before dropping a hand down to where his crotch had been as he lifted his hips and balanced himself with his knees.

 

Through the fabric of the pants he was not able to get a good grip, so Loki _slid his hand into Tony’s pajama pants_ , and palmed his erection through his thin cotton underwear.

 

The act alone was almost enough to have Tony blowing his load, and he let out an almost embarrassing noise of pleasure and surprise when Loki began rubbing him firmly.

 

It was _so good_. His hips rocked against the grip and his hand stayed on Loki’s neck while the other moved to his side since his ass was out of reach. He lifted his head pathetically towards Loki’s, silently asking for a kiss.

 

His princess descended onto him without pause and his palm increased its grip as he stroked his partner.

 

Tony had already been so close that after another minute of this he felt himself shudder and groan, his hold on Loki tightening as he spent himself in his underwear.

 

Loki’s lips stayed on his even after he had stroked out the last of Tony’s cum, and the kisses they gave each other were torturously gentle and slow. Loki relaxed his body back on top of Tony’s, ignoring the way it pressed their stickiness against their stomachs and let out a happy sigh.

 

“Happy birthday, Tony,” Loki whispered against him.

 

“Oh, _Loki_ ,” he whispered back before kissing him again.

 

It was, hands down, the best wake up he had ever had.

 

oooooooo

 

The orgasms had made them sleepy once more and they had curled up and drifted off again before the sun could greet them.

 

When they finally did drag their sorry asses out of bed around ten, it was with an excited blush and a grimace over the crusted business in their underwear.

 

They rinsed off, separately, and dressed for the day.

 

Loki wanted to see some shows and Tony wanted to be around Loki, so that worked out just fine.

 

The boys debated between ordering room service and eating breakfast in bed, or drudging downstairs to the buffet the hotel. Ultimately, Tony wanted some birthday attention, so after Loki spoiled him with kisses they texted the rest of their party and moved downstairs.

 

“Happy birthday!” Pepper shrieked happily when she spotted him, throwing herself against him and hugging him so tightly his lungs had a minor panic attack.

 

“Thank you, Pep,” he choked out before she released him.

 

“I will give you your present at dinner,” she said, beaming.

 

What a lovely person to call his friend, this happy, generous girl.

 

“Happy birthday, Tony,” Natasha offered with a genuine smile.

 

As he opened his mouth to respond there was boom behind him and he felt himself being lifted off his feet in a bone-crushing hug that put Peppers to shame.

 

“Happiest of birthdays, Tony!” Thor shouted, continuing to decimate his bones.

 

“Thor, put him down! You’re crushing him!” Loki scolded, his eyes darting over  Tony’s reddening face.

 

Jane gave him a sweet, _safe_ greeting and the group sat down for their meal.

 

Thor also took buffets as a personal challenge and loaded up three plates of food. It was impressive and a bit horrifying. Tony could not imagine what Frigga went through trying to raise this boy and keep him well fed.

 

“Did you have any luck last night?” Pepper asked as she lightly tapped her namesake spice over her eggs.

 

_I certainly did this morning_.

 

“Actually, we did. Loki has a knack for roulette. It must be all the time he spends with you,” he replied, nodding at Natasha.

 

She smirked at him. “Were you playing _Russian_ roulette?”

 

“No, but that was the joke,” he teased.

 

Thor proudly clapped his brother on the back and almost made Loki spit out his fruit. “Good job, Loki! You will have to help me out with that, I lost a lot of chips there.”

 

His brother smirked at him and continued to nibble on his mango.

 

“What do you want to do today, birthday boy?” Pepper posed excitedly with an enormous grin on her face.

 

Tony shrugged and swallowed his bacon. “Loki wants to see a show, and Cirque Du Soleil is close. Do you all want to join us?”

 

“Yeah, that sounds great!” Pepper replied enthusiastically, before taking a sip of her coffee.

 

The rest of the heads nodded as they consumed their breakfast.

 

Tony and Loki looked up over the table at each other and grinned.

 

It would be a while before any shows began, so the teens decided to hit up the aquarium.

 

Aquariums are beautiful, romantic, and peaceful places that any sensible person knows are simply the best.

 

The cool blue shadow cast on the walls put Tony in a good mood, and the sharks put Loki in an excellent mood.

 

Natasha and Pepper had moved to read some informational sign about them, Thor and Jane were happily leaning on each other, so Tony decided to take Loki’s hand as they watched the sharks swim.

 

This would be a nice place to make love. Tony would have to remember that for when the time was right.

 

Loki seemed as though he would be content to stare at the fish all day, but it was not his birthday and he did not get to pick the activities (even though he sort of _was_ ).

 

Next they decided to go swimming because the aquarium put them in a wet mood.

 

Loki changed into his suit while Tony was peeing and denied him the joy of seeing his butt.

 

_The day is young_.

 

The only reason the students had thought to pack suits was because Tony kept mentioning hot tubs as a main attraction of the trip.

 

The pool had a waterslide that Thor seemed determined to go on as many times as possible, looking just as (if not more) excited as the fellow children he was in line with. Jane continued to go down it with him, laughing happily all the while and taking it in good stride when Thor would leap right back out of the pool to do it all over again.

 

Natasha and Pepper were helping get sunscreen on each other’s backs, as they were opting to tan. They had purchased a few magazines, brought down their sunglasses, and ordered cocktails. It would be in the rest of the world’s interest not to disturb them at this time.

 

The would-be couple was playing categories in the pool.

 

Tony had one arm under Loki’s shoulders and one arm under his knees, while his partner had his wrapped around Tony’s neck.

 

“Pineapple?” Loki guessed.

 

“Nope,” Tony answered before dunking him backwards under the water once more.

 

The water had drowned out the delighted giggle Loki had released, but it was still going when his head resurfaced. His princess rubbed the water out of his eyes and kept grinning as his hand wound back around Tony’s neck to help him stay up.

 

“Kiwi.”

 

“Nope.”

 

Another shrill giggle that was cut off by the water.

 

Tony fucking loved this. He could have stayed in the pool all day and just played silly games like this with Loki.

 

“Papaya!”

 

“No!”

 

Every damn time, Loki would giggle and every damn time it would make Tony smile. The fast paced nature of the game meant that Loki was basically a giggle machine and Tony’s face muscles hurt from the constant happiness.

 

“Strawberry!”

 

“You already guessed that!”

 

“Tomato!”

 

“That’s not a fruit,” Tony quipped, giving his friend a look of derision.

 

Loki fixed him with the same sassy look and dropped his chin. “It is so.”

 

“Nope. I do not care what anyone says about that one – a tomato is its own brand of nonsense,” he replied seriously.

 

It wasn’t a dunk, but it still earned a laugh from Loki.

 

“Peach!”

 

As per the rules of this game, when the guesser has finally called the correct answer, the dunker does not respond with ‘yes’, but instead flips them all the way backwards in the water.

 

That got the most delighted giggle of all.

 

“Okay, your turn,” Loki hummed as he pulled Tony into the same position he had just been in.

 

“What’s the category?” the engineer asked as he wrapped his arms around Loki’s neck.

 

“Animals.”

 

“That will take forever!”

 

Loki put on crazy eyes and leaned in very close. “ _I know!_ ”

 

The boys laughed and Tony shook his hair out of his face. “Do you have your animal?”

 

His princess nodded.

 

“Dog.”

 

Loki rolled his eyes and dunked Tony’s head under the water.

 

They took a break from swimming to have lunch and cocktails with the rest of their group. There was a poolside grill that served things like hamburgers and sandwiches; so the party crowded on and around the chairs that Pepper and Natasha had been lying on while they munched on greasy deliciousness.

 

It was a fairly late lunch, but the group had plans to be up late tonight, so pushing dinner back was not a problem.

 

Thor and Jane took inspiration from the category game and hurried back into the pool to play it themselves.

 

“We used to play that a lot as children,” Loki said after he swallowed a French fry. “But Thor was a lot bigger than me so I never liked dunking him.”

 

Tony laughed and turned to watch Jane attempt to do what Loki had described. She was struggling with it.

 

“Do you want to keep swimming?”

 

Loki raised an eyebrow at him as he took a sip of water. “Is there something you would rather do?” he asked before biting into his tuna melt again.

 

The birthday boy shrugged. “I’m having a lot of fun here, and I wouldn’t mind staying a bit longer – but I’m kind of in the mood to get a massage.”

 

Pepper’s head snapped up at that.

 

Tony laughed at her reaction. “Don’t worry, I meant for everyone.”

 

She grinned at him and climbed around Loki to hug her friend. He was being awfully generous with everyone, and although money really was no object to him in these matters, he really just wanted everyone to have a good time. His friends were great and it felt wonderful to be able to share his birthday with them, it was no great price to spoil them a bit.

 

Loki looked very excited at the suggestion. “That sounds great! But aren’t you supposed to avoid drinking before a massage?”

 

Tony looked at his empty cup and dropped his head sadly. “You’re right.”

 

Natasha tossed a water bottle to him, and thankfully it landed in his lap since he was not looking. “Chug some water and you should be fine. You only had two drinks, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

 

He thanked her and gulped the contents gratefully. Sure, this was going to give him a crazy urge to pee later, but he really wanted a massage and it would be better if he did not throw up after.

 

“I’ve always thought it would be fun to learn to be a masseuse,” Pepper mumbled against her arm. She had moved back to lie on her belly on the chair and her head was cradled in her folded arms.

 

“Me too,” Natasha murmured in the same content voice.

 

Loki grinned at her. “You’re already good enough to be one,” he remarked, squeezing her shoulder.

 

She opened one eye and smiled at him. “You give me a lot of practice,” she said fondly.

 

He spread his arms and closed his eyes. “I do what I can to be helpful.”

 

They stayed at the pool for another hour, swimming around and enjoying the sunshine before they toweled off and Tony went to go see about getting massages for six people.

 

The hotel was only prepared to accommodate four of them on such short notice. Thor and Jane immediately offered to go upstairs and wait for the others to finish, and they did so sincerely and willingly, but Tony wanted Jane to have some nice treatment and the idea of Thor with a pedicure was funny so the couple went and got their nails done.

 

The massages were _divine_. Tony lamented that he was not lying right next to Loki and could not listen to tell if the boy was making his usual sex noises during rub downs, but he was in heaven over how good it felt to treat himself to something unnecessary and wonderful.

 

He was grateful that the woman touching him could not see his face because his smile probably would have appeared misleading to her. He was just so ridiculously happy to be here, celebrating his birthday with his friends – and he had started the day off by grinding with Loki.

 

They had officially shared _orgasms_ together.

 

What a fucking fantastic day.

 

He would have been content if it ended right at that moment, and if nothing else special or exciting happened for the rest of it. Little did he know that the most exciting thing was yet to come.

 

Now the only problem with massages is that it leaves a person covered in oil. Tony felt great, phenomenal actually, when he was dressing himself to leave, but he knew he would definitely have to take a shower later.

 

Pepper was the first one done after him and she had a sleepy, happy look in her eyes when he went to wait with her. She gave him a grateful hug and dropped her head on his shoulder.

 

“That was _amazing_ , Tony. Thank you so, so much for that – for everything,” she cooed with a sigh.

 

He chuckled at her droopiness and slipped an arm around her waist. “I’m really glad you are all enjoying yourselves.”

 

“Speaking of which,” she murmured excitedly, stepping back so she could see him. “How cute were you and Loki playing in the pool!”

 

He smiled and playfully kicked the air. “Yeah,” he replied as a flush crept onto his cheeks.

 

“What, what is that smile…”

 

Tony raised an innocent eyebrow.

 

Pepper frowned at him and tried to read his face. “Did something happen with you two?”

 

“Nothing is _allowed_ to happen with us, Pep,” he grumbled just as the other two came out to meet them.

 

Technically it was not a lie.

 

“Tony, thank you so much for that,” Natasha said as she stepped over to them.

 

“My pleasure. Do you all want to see a show now?”

 

“I just need to run to the restroom first,” the Russian warned them before dismissing herself to it.

 

Pepper felt she needed to go as well. What the hell was it about bladders that made them sync up and do that.

 

Tony turned to his partner who gave him the same dopey smile Pepper had and dropped his head onto his shoulder the same way.

 

“I feel so good right now,” Loki murmured against him.

 

“Mmm, I’m glad,” Tony purred back before kissing the top of that head.

 

“I could take a nap.”

 

“No! We are going to see _LOVE_ , and then going out to dinner. _Then_ , you may sleep,” Tony retorted. 

 

Loki groaned. His breath was hot against Tony’s neck and it filled him with the desire to kiss Loki’s lips off once again.

 

They stood like that until the women came back out.

 

Once they met up with Thor and Jane, who were each sporting beautiful nails (Thor, ever the good sport, had blue fingernails and matching toes), the group set off to go see their show.

 

It was nothing but pure good luck that tickets were available, that they were able to get there on time, that they were all able to _sit together_ – it was as if Vegas knew that it was Tony’s birthday and he had endured a very frustrating year.

 

He had thrill watching the show, and watching Loki’s reactions to the show. His partner’s face lit up at the spectacle, and they were ‘ooing’ and ‘aahing’ throughout it.

 

The group was still excitedly discussing it when they arrived at the restaurant Tony had chosen. It was within walking distance and claimed to be a steakhouse – and that sounded good.

 

The party was seated a white, linen tablecloth covered round table. There were wine glasses for each of them, and they planned to take advantage of that. The place looked very nice, with dim lights, candles, the dull roar of expensive conversation, and the smell of temptation.

 

They feasted on steak, potatoes, bread, butter, corn, green beans, ribs, salmon, beans, broccoli, chicken, salad, and wine. When everything had been consumed and the plates were polished the six of them sat there practically moaning with how full they were.

 

Instead of sharing a meal, as they usually did, the partners each ordered something different and shared that with each other. Tony got a sirloin steak, a baked potato, and a salad. Loki ordered ribs, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. In lieu of constantly refilling glasses, Tony ordered bottles of wine for the table and the six of them polished off three.

 

Thank god they were within walking distance of the hotel because driving would have been out of the question.

 

None of them were drunk, as there was too much food in their bellies to permit that, but they were all feeling _good_ and warm.

 

Despite their incredibly stuffed stomachs, it was a birthday and that meant they needed to save room for dessert.

 

Thor and Jane split a chocolate  mousse, Pepper had a fruit tart, Natasha had a lemon square, and Tony and Loki shared a crème brulee. The waiter was kind enough to fetch a candle for him so he could make a wish and blow it out, in the manner of a proper birthday celebration.

 

But his wish had already come true. This day, that would have been his wish.

 

Also that dessert was fucking delicious and he thought he would never need anything else in life.

 

The party meandered back to the hotel and opted to hit up the casino once more, even though it was quite late.

 

Tony gave them all more chips, despite their protests, and then dragged Loki over to the roulette table to continue their game.

 

If it was possible, their luck continued. He left his extra winnings as a tip for the dealer and then pulled his partner over for some black jack.

 

Neither of them was very good at that game.

 

Natasha and Pepper seemed eager about their game of poker, but the other couples only lasted for an hour before throwing in the towel and heading upstairs for bed.

 

After bidding his brother goodnight, Loki sighed as he entered the room and kicked off his shoes.

 

“That massage earlier was fantastic, but I am still covered in that oil,” he commented.

 

“I know! I am going to take a shower before bed to wash it off,” Tony replied as he began shamelessly removing his pants.

 

Loki’s cheeks flushed and he averted his gaze. “I’ll take one after you and do the same.”

 

Tony paused for a moment, weight the pros and cons, and then decided to be bold on his birthday.

 

“You could just take one with me.”

 

His princess turned his head to stare at him with wide eyes and an amused tug at the corner of his lips. “Really?”

 

The engineer shrugged and continued to undress. “Yeah. I’ve seen you _mostly_ naked before, and we did sort of cum on each other this morning.”

 

Loki grinned at him and stripped quickly.

 

Tony had moved to the bathroom once he was naked and missed the sight of his partner getting undressed. He was examining the soaps that the hotel provided when a voice behind him startled his reading.

 

“You’re naked.”

 

He turned and felt like he had been blown off his feet.

 

“You’re naked,” he replied softly.

 

Loki was naked.

 

Loki was naked, in front of him, and they were going to shower together. His naturally pale skin looked especially snowy like this when there was no clothing to block it. His eyes immediately traveled to his princess’ hips, where he had wanted to gaze all year. He marveled at the lack of body hair in that area and admired how much attention Loki must pay to keep it so finely trimmed.

 

He was also pleased to finally have an answer to his clawing question: Loki _was_ circumcised.

 

Neither of them had the time to feel self-conscious, they were too busy drinking in the sight of each other. This moment had been building up for months and now that they were actually looking at each other it was like eyes weren’t enough.

 

In fact, eyes weren’t enough. They needed to touch.

 

They stepped toward each other at the same moment and instinctively wrapped their arms around one another as their lips embraced. Loki made that little noise and Tony felt his head spin.

 

Their cocks, though soft at this moment, were pressed together and Tony wondered if his pubic hair was tickling Loki’s skin. He hoped so.

 

Why didn’t more people kiss naked? Just in everyday life? Had the rest of the world not yet figured out how awesome this is? How fucking good it feels to have the person of one’s affection’s heated, naked flesh pressed up as their lips moved sensually against their own?

 

Loki smelled _so fucking good_.

 

The hour of moving around and playing had allowed the men to sweat out the ill effects of their wine, and while they still felt warm and loose from a day well spent and celebrated, this was completely a sober decision.

 

Tony moved his hands all over Loki’s back, stroking his sides, caressing his butt, tangling in his hair – everywhere he could get his hands on. Loki moved the same way against him.

 

Sex was absolutely out of the question at this point, but Tony was debating dropping to his knees and pulling the rapidly hardening flesh pressed against him into his mouth.

 

But Loki pulled away, panting lightly, and then turned to the shower.

 

Tony followed him right in.

 

They stood under the spray kissing for a few more minutes. The water added to the fun of exploring whatever they could touch from this position, and when Tony moved to play with his hair there were wet strands instead of soft locks.

 

He moaned into Loki’s mouth and pressed their hips flush against each other. Their erections bumped and sent chills down their spines.

 

But they also need to clean themselves. They poured shampoo into their hands and massaged it onto each other’s scalps, giggling as the soap in their own hair began to obstruct their vision. They took turns standing under the stream of water and rinsing it out before repeating the action with conditioner, pausing only to kiss each other some more.

 

When their hair was clean and the soap was out of their eyes, they poured the body wash into their hands and began the same ritual with each other’s bodies. Tony grabbed Loki’s wrist and held his arm out so he could wash all the way up to his armpit. He tickled the skin their and silenced Loki’s giggle with another kiss.

 

They turned their washing into a game of sorts to see if they could make the other laugh, until Loki’s hand slid down Tony’s stomach and paused right above the place where laughter stopped. His hand hesitated for a moment before continuing its path and then gripping.

 

Tony gasped and felt his eyelids flutter. He wanted this. He wanted this very much. He nodded to let his partner know that it was okay and then kissed him once more as Loki’s hand started to move.

 

The angle was not great for getting a proper grip, but his strokes felt amazing all the same. Tony was mumbling incoherently against Loki’s lips and had his eyes screwed shut. When his knees started trembling he pulled Loki down to sit under the water with him and then reached his own hand in between his partner’s legs.

 

Loki let out the same noise he did when Tony kissed him and it made the engineer’s hand stroke harder.

 

This angle was much better for them. Their tongues continued to move against each other as the water rained down and they jerked each other off.

 

Tony finished first this time, pulling his lips away and pressing his forehead to Loki’s as he choked out a groan and shuddered. The cum was hot against their skin, despite the temperature of the water, and Loki would have stopped to admire it if he were not being stroked through to his own release at the moment.

 

It was not immediately after, but a few minutes later that Loki was whimpering, twitching and then cumming in Tony’s hand.

 

They panted together for a moment before pressing one long, last kiss against each other’s lips and shakily rinsing their releases off.

 

Tony turned off the water and they toweled each other off, giggling again as they tickled one another.

 

Loki looked like he was reaching for pajamas, but Tony yanked him into bed muttering, “I don’t think so.”

 

They curled under the covers together, nude, ecstatic, sated, and peaceful. Tony didn’t try to fight his grin as he pressed kisses to Loki’s hair and forehead.

 

“Happy birthday, Tony,” his princess murmured happily.

 

And what a fucking birthday it was.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: :3 Orgasms! Thank you for reading!


	21. Dream Sharks, Blessings, & More Orgasms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the wait. College senior. Y’all know how it is. This chapter is half the length of a normal one because otherwise it would have been another three weeks until I put it out. 
> 
> ;A;

oooooooo

_The shark opened its mouth again and the monocle slipped off and into his teacup._

_‘I’m cursed’ it said._

_Loki reached across the table to pull the accessory out of the beverage, as the shark clearly could not with his fin, and wiped it off on one of the napkins. The tea left a brown spot on the white linen and Loki worried that the other sharks would get mad._

_‘Don’t tell them’ Loki pleaded, drawing the shark’s cape over his eyes so the sea creature could not see which direction he ran away._

_From behind him he could hear the shark reply, ‘They don’t need to know’._

 

When his eyes opened it took the teenager a moment to remember where he was and why there were no clothes on his body.

 

He also half expected to turn over and see his shark guest sleeping next to him. But alas, it was only Tony.

 

Loki blinked at him as his brain mulled over the events of the previous evening and a smile crept to his face.

 

The engineer’s mouth was slack and leaking drool onto his own arm, lightly snoring. The sheets were pooled down around their ankles, leaving Tony’s pride rising up from between his hips; half hard and resting against his belly.

 

Green eyes swept over the naked flesh, admiring every detail of it. Last night was perfect, but it had gone by in a blur – a mad rush of colors and pleasure and _each other_. He could still feel Tony’s hand wrapped around him, and the memory brought a tiny flush to his cheeks.

 

He knew that being with Tony was not going to be like it was with Fandral. Tony cared about him – _wanted_ him to take pleasure and enjoy their activities. But he was unprepared for what exactly that meant; to be looked at with desire and fondness, to be touched with excitement and reverence.

 

It was maddeningly reminiscent of what Loki wanted in a relationship, just that it had to fall just short of one. There could be no commitment, no discussion of the feelings, and no expectations of one another.

 

But there could be flirting and orgasms.

 

Loki leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his partner’s naked chest, looking up to gauge his reaction and see if the action had stirred him from slumber.

 

It had not.

 

He grinned mischievously and crawled over so his body was resting atop the other’s, maneuvering himself in between Tony’s legs to keep his balance as he kissed the other’s chest again.

 

First the collarbone was painted by his lips, then his sternum, then out again over the nipples. Loki kept them out of his mouth, keeping his teeth dormant, but gently caressed one with his tongue.

 

Under his belly he felt Tony’s breathing change and knew that he was awake, but he continued with his actions and did not acknowledge him.

 

The older man hummed at the treatment and brought one of his hands up to weave his fingers in Loki’s hair, which was extra curly from sleeping on it wet.

 

“Good morning, you,” he grumbled, voice still thick with sleep.

 

Loki grinned against his chest and continued his kisses, but moved back up so he could press them to Tony’s neck. They were light, soft, and sweet, intended more to tickle his flesh than bruise it. His lips made a tiny smacking sound with each one he pressed down, and he could feel Tony’s vocal chords vibrating happily against them.

 

“I’ve got a hot, naked guy on top of me, kissing my neck… is it still my birthday?” Tony teased, trying to shift so that he could get his lips on his partner’s.

 

The other boy chuckled quietly and acquiesced Tony’s wishes; pressing a firm, warm kiss to his sleep-swollen lips.

 

Their cocks were hard and interested, hanging heavy between their bellies. Loki shifted his hips, without breaking their kiss, so that he could grind himself against Tony – just as he had the previous morning.

 

Tony moaned into his mouth and touched his fingers to the base of Loki’s spine before lightly trailing them up and around the cool flesh there. The gentle touch sent a shiver through Loki and he shifted back to straddle Tony’s waist.

 

He grinned down at the boy beneath him before grabbing their cocks and rubbing them together. The way Tony was gazing at him made his heart hammer and his pulse race. He felt _attractive_ like this; sexy and desirable as he pumped their lengths. It seemed that the thing Tony was most interested in was _watching_ , so Loki decided to give him a show.

 

Dark, curly locks fell back and out of his face as he dropped his head and tossed his chest out, driving his ass harder onto Tony’s thighs as he let out a groan and slipped his eyes closed.

 

It got exactly the reaction he wanted.

 

Tony’s cock twitched in his hand and his mouth fell open in awe at the sight.

 

“ _Loki_ ,” he breathed, placing his hands on his partner’s thighs and gripping.

 

The trickster continued to make a performance of it until he became distracted from the pleasure and let genuine sounds escape him.

 

He panted wetly, stroking himself faster and struggling to keep his grip on both cocks. It took two hands, to make sure one didn’t slip out, and he briefly considered dropping and grinding his way to completion when Tony suddenly cried out and spilled.

 

Loki blinked for a moment after the last pumps of seed left the engineer’s erection, as he considered how best to finish himself off.

 

But Tony took care of him. He delayed no longer than a few pants of his own and took the unsatisfied length pressed against him into his hand and began stroking again at the same quick pace.

 

Loki groaned as he climaxed; uninhibited and beautiful.

 

Tony became religious in that moment, so blown away was he by the spectacle.

 

The dark haired boy dropped down on the bed and attempted to catch his breath.

 

This was definitely how people should be waking up; an orgasm was the _best_ possible start to the day.

 

Tony turned his head and grinned, thinking the same thing. “Is this how I can expect to be woken up from now on?”

 

His eyes remained closed, but Loki laughed and lightly swatted at him. “You wish,” he panted.

 

“Oh, but I do,” Tony purred, rolling over and pulling Loki against him so he could press kisses to his cheeks.

 

“This is _exactly_ how I want to wake up. I want you naked, in my bed, and grinding yourself on me.”

 

“Well, you can’t always get what you want,” Loki teased, relaxing into the embrace anyway. He absentmindedly laced his fingers with Tony’s to pull the engineer’s arm tighter around him.

 

Tony didn’t mind.

 

He squeezed the body in his arms and sighed into his hair. “Can we stay in bed all day?”

 

Loki shrugged. “It’s your weekend, we can do whatever you wish.”

 

Thank god the group had elected to take off on Monday or they would have had to drag themselves back on a plane today. It was not the ideal way to spend a day after a night of first times.

 

Tony hummed. “I want to stay in bed and make you cum a lot,” he stated, pressing a determined kiss to the bony shoulder next to his chin.

 

The previously sated cock in Loki’s pelvis gave a twitch. “Well it is your birthday, it would be wrong of me to deny you your wishes…”

 

He took the hand that was holding his partner’s and lightly trailed his fingers up and down the tan arm curled over him. The rounded edge of his nail raked through the dark hairs so delicately that he could feel Tony shivering against his back.

 

“Do that to me,” he commanded, rolling into his stomach to bare the area he wanted caressed.

 

“I thought it was my weekend,” Tony quipped back, but Loki could hear the smirk and he could _feel_ the other man shift to prop himself up with one arm, and then drop the other to repeat the same gentle motions Loki had just been demonstrating on his arm.

 

Loki purred at the touch. “Mmm… yes, just like that,” he mumbled against his arm.

 

He was not privy to the fond smile being cast at him, since his face was hidden in his limbs, but Loki was acutely aware of the energy of the room, and what that smile meant.

 

Everything felt so _safe_.

 

“Are you okay with this?”

 

“Oh I am _very_ okay with this.”

 

“I mean it. This is great and all… but are we okay?”

 

Loki frowned and turned his head to the side so his words would not be obstructed. “Of course we are, why wouldn’t we be?”

 

Tony looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. There was a twitch in his face like it couldn’t decide what to do with itself and wanted the next few minutes of discussion to have already happened, but his arm kept moving as a pleasant distraction.

 

“It’s just… jumping into bed together… especially after we agreed to just be friends who _happen_ to kiss occasionally,” he explained awkwardly.

 

“We aren’t sleeping together. This… this is just fun,” Loki reasoned, though he wasn’t sure which one of them he was trying to convince. Mostly he did not want Tony to stop loving on his back…

 

“Is it too much for you?”

 

Loki rolled his eyes. “It’s _fine_. I trust you enough to stop if I tell you I need to, now you need to trust that I _will_.”

 

Fair enough.

 

“So… how does this work?”

 

All right the serious nature of the conversation was getting in the way of spoil-Loki-with-massages-time. He would have growled in irritation, but his bedmate chose that moment to glide a soft, broad stroke up Loki’s incredibly sensitive side – and the resulting noise better resembled a breathy “hah!”

 

Tony liked that noise, so he repeated the move.

 

Unfortunately, the touches were serving as an appropriate distraction for the conversation Loki did not want to have, so his partner took it upon himself to dig his fingers into that sensitive area and tickle instead.

 

Loki _shrieked_ and started writhing, attempting to use violence against his aggressor in an effort to stop the madness.

 

It ended with Tony gripping him around the waist, heaving him up and into his arms, and then pressing their foreheads together and grinning while the slighter man tried to catch his breath and pull his flushed face into a frown.

 

He was unsuccessful.

 

“I mean it, you have to give me clear boundaries so I don’t go fucking this up,” Tony said quietly, still keeping their foreheads pressed. He tried to ignore the way it was impossible to look into both of another person’s eyes like this, because he really didn’t want to go cross-eyed while he tried to woo his emotionally damaged lover.

 

The pale boy continued to pant and stared right back. Neither of them spoke for the next minute as they listened to each other breathe and continued to gaze, before Loki finally broke the ever-tightening line of tension.

 

“Friends with benefits.”

 

Tony pulled his head back so his raised eyebrow would not go unnoticed. “Really? I didn’t think you would be into something like that.”

 

Loki shrugged his bony shoulders and settled back against the pillow, tucking his arms behind his head as he did. “Normally I would balk at the idea of sharing my body with someone who wasn’t prepared to spoil _me_ with the same amount of attention… but you already do that,” he added with a sweet smile.

 

His partner liked where this was going and moved down to press little kisses to Loki’s exposed skin as they spoke. “So… we are basically dating.”

 

“No.”

 

Tony didn’t let up on the kisses, but rolled his eyes. “How are we not dating.”

 

Try though he might to make a compelling case, Loki was also making little breathy noises in response to the kisses.

 

It was very distracting.

 

“It’s not a relationship. There’s no commitment here, just friends who exercise their desire to occasionally bring each other to orgasm,” he explained, tilting his head back to encourage Tony back up to his neck.

 

The move got exactly what he wanted. “But I can’t call you my boyfriend,” Tony clarified.

 

“That’s right.”

 

“And I can’t take you on dates.”

 

“Ah! N-no,” he mewled, squirming a bit as the other’s hand started to roam back over his body.

 

“And I can’t stick my cock anywhere near your ass.”

 

“Definitely not,” Loki replied with a smile before dropping his head to grab a kiss. “But you can put it in other places, like my hand… or my mouth…”

 

He had never seen Tony’s face light up quite like that. It was like Netflix came and he forgot that he was expecting his favorite film.

 

Yes, just like that. Dammit.

 

“We can go down on each other?” he whispered excitedly.

 

Loki wanted to keep his grin to himself and give the other some kind of judgmental or indifferent look, but the happiness was practically fucking _oozing_ out of Tony and it was infectious! He let out an uncharacteristic giggle and kissed his new benefriend once more.

 

“Yes.”

 

The word was barely out of his mouth when he saw a flash of skin and then Tony was crawling down to reposition himself in between Loki’s legs.

 

“Not now!” Loki yelled, trying to keep his knees together and laughing at Tony’s enthusiasm. He ignored the way it made his heart sing and swell at how much the other man wanted to love on him.

 

“Why not now?” Tony asked with a theatrical pout. “You’re hard and I’m _hungry_.”

 

Loki kicked him. “Hey now – if one of us says no to something then that’s it – no questions. Don’t make me defend my choice.”

 

The color drained out of Tony’s face and a horrified expression took the place of his playful, horny one.

 

“Oh god – no – Loki, no I didn’t mean it like that-”

 

“I know that’s not how you _meant_ it. Apparently people can go around not knowing that their actions are coercive in nature,” Loki mumbled, sitting up and drawing the sheets over his waist.

 

Tony looked horrifically uncomfortable. “Loki, I swear –”

 

“ _I know_. I know,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I don’t even know why I did that.” He dropped his face into his hands and shook his head in embarrassment.

 

The older man hesitated for a moment and then moved forward to take Loki’s hands into his own.

 

“We just have to figure out how to do this. You aren’t wrong, no means no, and I will make sure not to joke about it,” he pledged, bringing the hands up to place little kisses on them, sealing the deal.

 

Loki seized the hands forward and pulled Tony on top of him.

 

The engineer looked him over with fond eyes and leaned forward to kiss his nose. “Are you going to tell Natasha?”

 

A groan was his only response. He jostled Loki’s body a bit and nudged him with his knee.

 

“I supposed I should,” was the mumbled answer after Loki buried his face in Tony’s shoulder.

 

“She’ll kill you if you don’t.”

 

Tony was right.

 

oooooooo

 

After he had reluctantly dragged his ass out of bed and rinsed the spunk off of his body, Loki went for a run in the hotel gym. He needed to clear his head before he talked to his best friend, and running helped him to do that.

 

But the more he ran, the more he thought about how angry she was likely to be, and his anxiety grew. That was _not_ a normal occurrence while he exercised and the result was him running an extra three miles. By the time he looked down at the statistics on his machine and realized that he had effectively burned off enough calories to go eat his weight in donuts, and run far enough to _find_ them, he switched off the machine and moved to the floor to stretch.

 

One of the perks of exercising in the morning, on a Sunday, was that he was the only one in the gym. It was quiet, peaceful, and there was only the news to distract him from his unpleasant concerns about being stabbed by a Russian.

 

Really, he was tired of having this argument and was exhausted from worrying about what other people thought and wanted for him. But he also respected Natasha’s opinion and would be devastated if last night (and this morning’s) actions left her disappointed in him.

 

He felt like as long as he was comfortable with his situation then he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Tony respected his boundaries, his wishes, and his right to say no at any time. He felt complete confidence in the knowledge that his partner could be buried balls deep inside Loki’s ass and if he asked him to stop then Tony would remove his cock without a second thought.

 

Tony wasn’t Fandral. He wasn’t spending time with him solely for sex or the prospect of winning money – he cared for and _adored_ Loki.

 

Natasha would just have to understand that.

 

When his limbs were properly stretched out, he fired off a text to his friend asking her to meet him downstairs for breakfast, just the two of them.

 

He was extremely pleased that she was actually awake, and not ten minutes after she responded in the affirmative he saw her getting out of the elevator.

 

They greeted each other with a kiss on the cheek and a hug, despite how sweaty Loki was from his marathon.

 

Natasha’s eyes were sparkling and full of delight. She grabbed her friend’s hand and laced their fingers together as they walked toward the restaurant to grab a table.

 

“What’s got you so happy?” he teased.

 

She beamed at him. “I just haven’t had one on one time with you in a while and it’s wonderful to see you,” she answered sincerely.

 

It broke his heart a little.

 

He squeezed her hand apologetically, though she took it as an assurance of his enthusiasm. They ordered their drinks and headed to the buffet, piling their plates high with food. Loki performed his grape test and was quite pleased with the quality of the fruit, though his stomach was twisting itself into knots over the prospect of this conversation.

 

When they were seated again, Natasha continued to smile at him and he continued to awkwardly chew his lip.

 

“Hey,” he started, pausing because his voice cracked.

 

She raised an eyebrow at him but said nothing.

 

“I need to tell you something.”

 

The best words _ever_. People love hearing that – it’s right up there with ‘we need to talk’. But she put down her fork, and looked at him patiently.

 

“Tony and I…” but he trailed off again, unsure of how the hell he was supposed to describe this.

 

Thankfully she held her hand up to stop him.

 

“I know.”

 

He sputtered and blinked at her. “What do you mean?”

 

She picked up her fork again and speared some eggs with delicate precision. “I’m not a fool, Loki. I watched you two together all day yesterday and I know that something is different.”

 

Pink erupted in his cheeks. He cursed his physiology for being so transparent when he usually preferred to be guarded and mysterious in his emotions.

 

Damn his pasty skin giving everything away.

 

“It’s not what you think-”

 

“Did you two sleep together?” she asked with the same calm.

 

“No! Of course not!”

 

Her silent patience was infuriating. She merely blinked at him with an unreadable expression and continued to eat her eggs.

 

“We… we _messed around_ a bit… but – no sex. Absolutely no sex,” Loki continued, trying to hide his blush with his hands.

 

She nodded.

 

He sighed awkwardly behind his hand-mask. “It’s, okay so the thing is…”

 

Why did his tongue not work when it came to Tony? He could charm the pants off a snake ordinarily , but his tongue turned to mush in his mouth when it came to that boy.

 

“Are you an item?”

 

“No – no. I mean, I don’t _think_ so… we aren’t in a relationship.”

 

Natasha nodded again and looked thoughtful. “Are you going to continue being physically intimate with each other?”

 

His grimace answered for him and she nodded once more.

 

“But you don’t plan on entering into an exclusive, monogamous relationship?”

 

Loki made a face. “Well, I don’t intend to climb into bed with anyone else, if that’s what you’re asking.”

 

The Russian smirked at him. “I didn’t think that was the case.”

 

She paused to take a sip of coffee and let him squirm while she collected her thoughts.

 

“Do you feel like this is a good idea?”

 

He didn’t even blink before answering. “Yes.”

 

“Then you have my support.”

 

Loki waited for the ‘but’. He stared at her and slowly made a face.

 

“That’s it? You aren’t going to tell me it’s bad idea – psychologically traumatizing and potentially damaging to my friendship with him?”

 

She smirked. “Is that what you think?”

 

He scowled at her. “No! But you have never let this topic go so easily,” he pointed out.

 

Natasha shrugged and picked up her fork again. “Loki, this has been a nice weekend. I plan to spend today drinking in a spa and then going to bed early with my book.”

 

He waited for her to continue.

 

But she just kept eating her eggs.

 

“And?!”

 

Egg almost flew out of her mouth as she laughed at that. “Look, for once I’m going to keep my opinions to myself in the interest of preserving the peace.”

 

Loki didn’t like that. “But you do _have_ opinions?”

 

She rolled her eyes. “It is my opinion that you should enjoy your damn weekend and try not to indulge in any drama.” Honestly, this boy.

 

He pursed his lips and stared at his grapes as he considered her words.

 

“We won’t be acting like a couple, you know. In fact – I don’t want Thor to know about this.”

 

She shrugged and nodded.

 

“And I’m _not_ going to have sex with him.”

 

She repeated the gesture.

 

“…”

 

Natasha reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

 

They switched gears into their television shows and discussing her relationship problems with Clint, and then parted ways so Natasha could make good on her word to spend the day drunk and pampered.

 

Loki went back upstairs to make good on Tony’s word to spend the day in bed. He intended to rent a movie and then not watch it while they gave each other hand jobs and kisses.

 

He ignored the twisting in his gut over the things Natasha had not said, and slipped between white sheets to press his flesh to Tony’s.

 

The little voice he shut away was muttering quietly that this was foolish, and indulgent; immature, and reckless. And he knew it was – he _knew_ that this would not end well.

 

But after his third orgasm, when Tony brought his hand up to lick away Loki’s cum, he genuinely didn’t care.  

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Much shorter. Lo siento. Hope the end of the year is going well for everyone!


	22. Fucking Dating, Sexting, and Fandral

For as vehemently as the boys maintained that they were _not_ dating – they were dating.

 

There was only one week after the group returned from Vegas before spring break began, and each morning, afternoon, and night the partners spent together.

 

Tuesday they went to their classes, Loki went to choir, and they met up to ‘log some hours’. Their ‘research’ mostly involved looking for places on each other’s neck that would make them pant and moan.

 

The men figured it out pretty quickly, but continued to roam for the sport and pleasure of it.

 

That first night, they met in Tony’s lab because the engineer did have some actual work to do before the holiday. He stood at his table messing with his toys, punctuated with repeated distractions from Loki. The younger man liked to come up behind him to kiss and nibble on his ear, and reach his hands around to grip Tony’s hips.

 

Tony made a good show of pretending to fight off the advances in the interest of completing his work, but there is something about Loki’s tongue that undoes him.

 

It fucking feels good.

 

He had turned around, grabbed his lover, and thrown him onto the desk top, on top of the mess of papers sitting beside his work, then leaned over and sought his revenge.

 

Of course, their brief foray into voyeurism was halted when another student entered the lab and coughed uncomfortably – for neither of the boys had stopped or noticed, and Loki was letting out _very_ intimate sounds – making them scramble apart. They had hurried from the space with flushed faces and lumps in their trousers, but picked right back up in Tony’s car.

 

Wednesday, Tony wanted a sleepover. It was impractical to drive out to his home when they had early classes the following day, so he suffered through an embarrassing conversation with Steve. He maintained that Loki was just going to spend the night because they were planning to have a movie marathon (which was total crap but Steve wouldn’t be getting home until after they were asleep and wouldn’t know that ‘movie marathon’ was code for ‘how many times can I make you cum before your penis stops working’), and his roommate acquiesced.

 

Steve knew, of course, about Tony’s feelings for his partner. They had never explicitly talked about it, despite their friendship, but the footballer had gleaned enough from observing the boy’s interactions and paying attention to the way his roommate talked about Loki.

 

Tony would have _liked_ to tell him about his new developments in their relationship, but Loki was being exceptionally weird about keeping this business to themselves – and Natasha. The engineer knew better than to take this personally, but it did slight his pride a bit not to be able to celebrate the awesome sex he was having. Or hand sex. Whatever, he was excited.

 

Sexcited.

 

With Steve’s blessing, the boys did sleep in Tony’s dorm Wednesday night, and it was only in the morning after cold air on Loki’s exposed buttocks woke him that he realized he had forgotten to put pants back on and Steve had probably seen his underwear on the ground.

 

Also his butt.

 

Out of shame, they did not spend the night together on Thursday, instead seeking out secluded places around campus to make out and stroke each other, but _Friday_ they opted to try Loki’s dorm.

 

He had nicer bedding, anyway.

 

Bruce was perfectly pleasant and agreeable about the request, and although Loki pulled the same crap with him (‘It’s just that we want to do a Star Wars marathon’), he saw right through it and consented anyway. He liked Tony well enough and had lived with Loki long enough now to know that this boy was not used to having orgasms – and thought frankly that was awful.

 

Not that he was bringing back lots of people to their room, but the chemistry student did have a healthy appreciation for what masturbation could provide for the soul.

 

So now, Friday night, the partners wanted to squeeze in as much touching as they could before Loki took off with his family for the break. His family was leaving the following day to go skiing for the remainder of the break, and frankly Tony was sort of torn up about it.

 

He thought about trying to find a way to join them, but he was also keeping his fingers crossed that the brothers might actually regain some sense of normalcy in their relationship.

 

As much as they were ‘getting along’ and everything _appeared_ normal, Tony knew better and was perfectly aware that his future boyfriend was still very ripped up about his adoption. He was good at putting on a mask about it, and pretending like he wasn’t hurt or completely trying to rebuild his sense of identity (the bullshit with Fandral had certainly not helped), but he was open and honest around Tony. He was vulnerable, genuine, and very much devastated.

 

Loki came back in rare form, from shopping with his brother for last minute trip items. He was frustrated to the point of tearing up and swearing over something insensitive that Thor had said about the differences in their bodily reactions to cold. Obviously, the elder of the brothers had not meant this as a slight to Loki for not being biologically related to him – but the younger was just so _damn sensitive_ about this issue that he blew up on Thor and came home to cry about it to Tony.

 

“He just doesn’t understand!” he wailed against his lover’s chest, pathetically.

 

Tony was lovingly rubbing his back and had his lips pressed to the top of Loki’s head, patiently letting the boy vent his anger. He didn’t try to reason with him and point out that Thor was probably feeling guilty and horrible right now for setting his brother off unintentionally, because he knew that would ignite Loki’s ire further, but kept up his soothing rubs.

 

“And I have to fucking _share a room_ with him for a week. All he’s going to do is have phone-sex with Jane because she’s the only person he even cares about-”

 

That was enough.

 

Tony pulled back, gently grabbed Loki’s face, and silenced him with a soft kiss. He let his lips sit there for a few moments, before puckering and touching their foreheads together so he could make goo goo eyes at his lover.

 

Loki pouted back with wet eyes and a sad gaze.

 

The brunet nuzzled their noses and said nothing.

 

That got his darling smiling. It was a reluctant smile, because Loki had clearly intended on complaining about this for a while longer, but who could resist the charm of Tony’s Eskimo kisses?

 

“Thank you,” he mumbled dejectedly, moving to lace their fingers together.

 

Tony hummed and kissed him again. “Anytime, my little shark.”

 

A perfectly groomed eyebrow arched.

 

“I don’t know, I just thought it was a cute name and you have sharp teeth,” Tony replied, shrugging and grinning.

 

Loki grinned back and moved forward to climb over the other man, straddling his hips and placing his elbows on either side of his face. They were lying in Loki’s bed while Bruce was out for another few hours.

 

Tony’s face lit up at the move and he shifted to make himself comfortable, bringing his hands up to cup Loki’s face.

 

They stared at each other like that for a minute, with dopey expressions and warmth in their eyes, before Loki dropped his head for a kiss.

 

Their bottom lips pressed against each other slowly and sweetly. Loki shifted his body so he was lying flush against Tony, legs draped down alongside him, and pressed their pelvises together.

 

The billionaire let out a happy sigh at the contact and, keeping one hand still cupped on Loki’s cheek, let the other drop to grip his side; enjoying the soft cotton material of Loki’s sweatshirt, and the sound his shift made on the bed.

 

A low rumble of thunder purred in the sky outside, mimicking the soft growl that Tony released when Loki slipped his tongue into a warm mouth. It had been cloudy and gloomy all day, without the rain ever actually falling, but the acoustics had been lovely. It was a perfect soundtrack for fooling around.

 

Tony slipped his hand under the hoodie, caressing his darling’s love handle with lazy, circling fingers.

 

Loki’s skin was still so fucking soft and it always caught Tony a little by surprise, no matter how many times he touched him. His hand was greedy in its roaming, touching and fondling everything he could reach from this position, sliding as far under his shirt as he could.

 

The boy above him moaned and sucked the engineer’s tongue into his mouth. He lightly ground their hips together, and ran a hand through Tony’s hair.

 

“You have _no idea_ what that does to me,” Tony breathed after Loki pulled back to trail kisses down his neck.

 

“When I kiss you?”

 

“Uhn – no, well yes that too – when you suck on my tongue,” he grunted, moving his other hand up to join the one drawing shapes on Loki’s back.

 

He felt Loki’s lips pause against his jaw, and then grin. The kisses picked right back up after a moment and Tony felt hands pulling at the hem of his shirt.

 

“You want me naked?” he teased, lifting himself a bit so his shirt could be removed.

 

But his ‘benefriend’ responded by dropping kisses to his newly exposed collarbone. Loki sucked along the protruding line, leaving little nips and exhaling tiny pants. He placed one hand on Tony’s stomach, curling his fingers to lightly dig his nails into the skin there.

 

Tony could feel Loki mouthing something against him, and heard a shaky sigh as the hand on his stomach rubbed up to feel his chest.

 

“What are you mumbling, there?” Tony purred, hooking a finger under Loki’s chin and tipping it up to meet his eyes.

 

Loki’s cheeks were flushed a pretty pink arousal. “I am so attracted to you,” he whispered a bit shyly, though there was clearly no need because Tony felt _exactly_ the same way.

 

But it made his heart swell with pride and joy. A wave of excited delight ran up his spine and he cupped Loki’s face again, pulling him into another kiss.

 

“The feeling is _very_ mutual, you handsome thing,” he murmured against those pale, thin lips.

 

The way Loki’s eyes lit up made Tony want to weep. He looked simultaneously blissful at the tender words, and infinitely surprised that they should ever have been uttered to him.

 

He was going to turn his slender little mate over to shower some much needed affection onto his body, but he felt Loki messing with the button on his pants.

 

“So you _do_ want me naked,” he mused with a grin, lifting his hips to aid the process once Loki had pulled down his zipper.

 

His partner climbed down to tug his pants off, throwing them onto the floor next to his shirt, and then crawled back up to kiss his chest again, deliberately ignoring the freed erection. 

 

Tony groaned at the neglect and wrapped his own hand around to stroke himself, but Loki slapped his hand away.

 

He glared up at Tony’s surprised expression and growled. “That’s mine.”

 

And _fuck_ if that wasn’t the hottest thing he’d ever heard. His cock twitched with enthusiasm and his jaw dropped at the look in Loki’s eyes.

 

His partner resumed his heated kisses, practically fucking marking his territory with how they burned into his skin. By the time Loki made it to his navel, Tony realized what his intention was and he his heart stopped beating.

 

There was hot breath tickling the head of his cock. There was a split second of contact when Loki’s eyes flicked up to meet his, silently asking for permission, and Tony nodded frantically, mouth still open.

 

Loki swiped his tongue across the head once and Tony’s thighs twitched. Slender fingers slid up his thighs, coming to rest in the nape of his pelvis, still teasing him. That clever, little tongue dragged over once more, pausing to molest the dip of the slit.

 

The slim man moved down further so he was lying on his stomach, holding himself up on one elbow with the other hand coming to curl around Tony.

 

He pressed a tiny kiss to the base of the other’s cock, breathing deeply and drinking in the musk and pheromones. Loki slipped his eyes closed as he breathed, his mouth falling open and his lips dragging against Tony’s sac. His hot exhale against the flesh made Tony moan and twitch.

 

One more kiss and then the tip of his tongue slipped out again to drag a path from the base up to the head, the muscle flattening against the length to caress as much of it as possible. When he reached the tip, his lips _ever so slowly_ moved to massage the pink skin there for a minute as Tony started to writhe, before closing tightly around.

 

Tony’s head fell back and his eyes slipped shut. One hand went and gripped in the dark hair over his stomach, and the other seized the pillow his head was on.

 

His mind had completely shut down and his lips could process nothing more than, “ _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.”_

He felt Loki grin around his cock as his mouth moved down it. His tongue stayed above his bottom row of teeth to rub the underside of his length, and once his lips were pressed against Tony’s hips, Loki hollowed his cheeks and sucked as he moved back up.

 

_There is a god. There is a heaven and it is here. Oh god, oh god, ohhh…_

The hand tangled in Loki’s hair suddenly gripped tight and his hips snapped up into that hideously warm mouth.

 

He felt more than heard Loki’s scowl as he removed his mouth to frown at his partner. “None of that, I’ll choke,” he scolded before moving his mouth back into position.

 

Tony meant to apologize, but his brain absolutely turned to putty as Loki started moving. Instead, he loosened the grip on the hair and attempted to lovingly massage his scalp instead. It didn’t work, because Loki’s head was moving, and pleasure distracted him, but Loki understood the intent anyway.

 

“ _Oh, Loki_ ,” he panted, wiping sweat out of his eye. “Uhng, god – oh god, honey that feels _so good_.”

 

He missed the way Loki frowned at being called ‘honey’, but he preferred it to ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ since that was all Fandral ever called him.

 

It made sense that Tony would indulge in some inappropriately sweet pet name in the middle of this act, since he was so disgustingly _in love_ with Loki, and this was just as much a celebration of feelings as each other’s bodies. The urge to say those words felt like it was physically _clawing_ at his brain, and when his mouth opened next it was to let out an anguished cry.

 

Loki took his free hand and wrapped it around the base as his head moved up and down. He was still going slowly enough that when his lips were just barely hanging onto the tip, he could swirl his tongue around it before descending again. His hand moved in lazy strokes to match his bobbing, squeezing and twisting gently.

 

Fucking ecstasy.

 

Tony needed him to move faster, though. He was writhing under the touches, fighting not to force his cock as far down Loki’s throat as it would go.

 

But his lover didn’t leave him wanting, he sped up his strokes and his movements, breathing harder and faster through his nose.

 

Loki was very focused on this task.

 

It was the first time he pleasured Tony like this, and was convinced that it would leave some kind of standing impression and set the tone for their sexual relationship. This was an absurd idea, but it left him determined to perform exceptionally well.

 

He was succeeding in this endeavor.

 

Tony was making noises he didn’t know his throat could produce. He had completely lost control of his hips, rolling them desperately against Loki’s face, and gripping his hair almost pleadingly.

 

Loki recognized the tremble in his hips and knew his love was close. He moaned around Tony’s cock and used the hand not stroking him to rub his thigh encouragingly. He wanted the load in his mouth, so he could swallow it.

 

But Tony was afraid of making his little otter gag, and with what little coherency he had he choked out, “Loki – uhn, Loki, I’m gonna cum-”

 

And Loki moaned and kept right on going.

 

Seconds later there was hot cum hitting the back of his throat, and Tony was moaning out prayers as he spent himself into that generous mouth.

 

Determined though he was, Loki felt spill dribbling out of the corners of his mouth as he fought to swallow everything down. Tony fell out of his mouth as he gasped for air and hurried to lick what he could.

 

Of course, he did not realize how fucking _hot_ that was to Tony, and was startled when he felt arms wrapping around his, yanking him up and lips licking away the release on his lips before slipping into his mouth.

 

His hands held Loki’s face as he kissed him. “You… you are… just, wow – _wow_ , Loki,” he panted into his mouth. He hugged his lover to him as he caught his breath and felt a rush of affection at the way Loki pressed soft kisses to his neck.

 

They lay like that for a few minutes, as Loki traced lazy trails with his fingers onto Tony’s side and smiled against him.

 

That was lovely – for both of them.

 

When Tony caught his breath enough for blood to return to his brain, he pressed a long kiss to Loki’s temple and squeezed him tight. “You’re wonderful,” he murmured against that dark hair.

 

Loki kissed that neck again and grinned. “You think so?” he teased.

 

The engineer grinned and shifted to lay Loki down and climb over him. “I think you-” he paused to press a kiss to Loki’s lips-

 

“Are wonderful-”

 

His nose.

 

“-clever-”

 

His cheek.

 

“-gorgeous-”

 

His chin.

 

“- _perfect_ -”

 

Under his jaw.

 

“- and _mine_ -”

 

He kissed the bob of Loki’s Adam’s apple – and then the door opened.

 

It took Bruce a moment to realize what he had walked in on, because there was no mad scrambling on Tony’s part to cover himself, but Loki let out an ‘eep!’ and practically threw his lover off of him.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Bruce said hurriedly, averting his eyes. “I’ll be gone in a second, I just needed to grab a few textbooks…”

 

“Bruce, I’m so sorry, it’s not what it looks like –” Loki started rushing to explain, mortified and turning pink.

 

Tony frowned at him. On the contrary, it was _exactly_ what it looked like. He was kneeling at the end of the bed holding bunched up blankets over his crotch while all of his clothes lay discarded on the ground. He had been _on top_ of Loki _in bed_ and _kissing him_. So, yeah – it was exactly what it looked like.

 

The chemist waved a dismissive hand at the men, focusing on locating his books. “Don’t worry about it, this is none of my business...”

 

Loki hid his face in his hands and grimaced.

 

“I can stay somewhere else tonight if you need…” Bruce began awkwardly, as he stuffed the necessary schoolwork in his bag.

 

“No! No, it’s fine!” Loki sputtered from behind his hands.

 

Bruce shot Tony an apologetic look and then left.

 

Loki didn’t remove his hands.

 

“Why are you so embarrassed? Bruce knows about us, right?” Tony asked, dropping the blanket and moving to fondle his princess again.

 

“Why would I tell him? And what do you mean ‘us’?”

 

But Tony was undeterred by Loki’s bullshit. He settled behind the other boy, wrapping his arms and legs around him and burying his face against his neck. “I assumed you would want to brag about all the orgasms I’ve been giving you,” he explained, hoping Loki wouldn’t press the ‘us’ statement.

 

“I’m very private about sex, you know that,” the dark haired boy murmured.

 

“Aren’t you close with Bruce, though?” Tony questioned in-between kisses.

 

Loki slumped his head back against his partner’s shoulder and sighed. “He let’s me bitch about people, and we talk about how our days are… but I don’t talk to him about really personal business.”

 

Tony nodded and squeezed. “Is your boner gone or can I suck you off?”

 

His princess huffed out a tiny laugh and turned his head to kiss Tony’s cheek. “It’s definitely gone.”

 

The engineer scowled. “Well then get naked and come cuddle with me.”

 

It should be mentioned that it is a poor idea for ‘friends with benefits’ to cuddle.

 

Especially when they are secretly in love with each other.

 

But Loki did as he was told, sliding off the bed and pulling his clothes off before joining his partner under the sheets.

 

Instead of spooning, like Tony had intended, Loki lay on his back and brought his arms up behind him to cradle his head. The engineer countered by lying on his side, propping his head up with his hand, and using his free one to trace lines on Loki’s stomach.

 

“Tell me a story,” he demanded.

 

Loki closed his eyes and hummed.  “What would you like to hear?”

 

Tony moved his finger up to trace along Loki’s jaw. “Tell me what you were like in high school.”

 

His partner let out a tiny chuckle. “Ah… well, I was very well behaved,” he answered, shivering a bit when Tony’s finger found a sensitive spot.

 

“I didn’t drink, I didn’t party. I made excellent grades and always did my chores… you already know I didn’t have any boyfriends, so I kept my legs closed.”

 

Tony had moved to trace out a picture of an otter on his stomach. “You probably had a lot of guys who wanted to,” he teased, tickling a bit for emphasis.

 

Loki jerked his stomach away and scoffed. “Hardly. I was Thor’s little brother, everyone was terrified to mess with me.”

 

He added wings to the otter. “That kind of sucks.”

 

“I wouldn’t have dated anyway. I was too mortified by the prospect of having to introduce a boyfriend to my father that I didn’t mind,” he pointed out.

 

What a fucking shame that he had been raised in a home where he didn’t feel like he was loved unconditionally by both of his parents. Tony had newfound respect for Frigga, working twice as hard to parent her boys with the love they deserved.

 

“Your dad sucks,” Tony commented.

 

Loki chuckled again. “Oh, yes. But I get away from him in college, so there’s that.”

 

The engineer shifted down so he could replace his finger with his tongue. “I’m gonna call him and tell him that I like the way your cum tastes.”

 

“Don’t you dare,” the little diva purred, squirming a bit under the new sensation as Tony licked him.

 

“I’m going to tell him that I fantasize about fingering you.”

 

Green eyes snapped open at that and stared down in shock. “What?”

 

Tony continued his tracing of Loki’s stomach. “Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, I wanna shove my fingers and tongue inside your ass – in a purely platonic way, of course,” he answered, nonchalantly.

 

The pink tinge in Loki’s cheeks was adorable. “Tony, that’s disgusting.”

 

The engineer grinned. “Why is that disgusting?”

 

The tinge got darker and his princess squirmed. “Because! It’s, it’s my _ass_!”

 

It was probably rude to laugh, but Tony did anyway.

 

“Why are you laughing!” Loki demanded, swatting at him and scowling when the move only made his partner laugh harder.

 

“Loki, you know that I _want_ to have sex with you, right?”

 

He shifted a bit and frowned. “Yes.”

 

“And you know that means putting my cock inside your ass – or you know, vice versa, whatever,” Tony asked, grinning fondly at the other man.

 

Loki continued to frown, but nodded.

 

“Well how did you think I was going to prepare you?”

 

“I don’t know! I thought I was just supposed to, you know, _deal with it_ ,” the younger man answered, looking extremely uncomfortable.

 

Horrifying.

 

“What the hell?! No! You are not supposed to just ‘ _deal with it’_!” Tony insisted, sitting up and squeezing Loki’s hipbones. “I promise you that when, sorry _if_ , we ever have sex I will make sure to prepare the _fuck_ out of you before hand.”

 

Loki just blinked at him.

 

“But your tongue? In my _butt_?”

 

Tony dropped a kiss to his belly. “If you ever feel comfortable enough to let me put my cock in there, I hope you feel comfortable enough to let my tongue go in first.”

 

“But then you couldn’t kiss me!” Loki exclaimed, incredulously.

 

The engineer shrugged. “I’ll keep mouthwash by the bed.”

 

“But it’s just so _gross_.”

 

“We’ll take a shower before – I’ll give you a really sexy enema,” he purred, tickling Loki’s sides a bit.

 

That got a laugh. “You’re a fool, Tony.”

 

“I know. But you’re really hot and it makes me do foolish things, like fantasize about licking your asshole,” he replied nonchalantly.

 

Loki giggled, but buried his face in his hands again, shaking his head as he did so.

 

“Hey, can I sketch you?” Tony asked suddenly, inspiration striking.

 

“ _Sketch_ me?”

 

The brunet climbed off of his partner and moved to grab his notebook out of his bag. “Yeah, just stay in bed like that,” he muttered distractedly.

 

“What for?” Loki asked, rolling over onto his side to observe the engineer’s movements.

 

He pulled a pencil out with his pad and grabbed Loki’s desk chair to position it where he liked. “I just want to draw you. You look really gorgeous all laid up in bed like this.”

 

Loki raised an eyebrow at him and pulled the sheets back over his hips. “I suppose. Am I just supposed to lie here?”

 

“Read your book the way you were the other day – when you were lying on your side and propping your head up with your elbow,” he commanded.

 

His princess did as asked, and tried to hide his flattered smile as he did so.

 

After a few minutes, Loki was lost in the book and Tony was lost in the drawing. At some point, Loki shifted onto his stomach to give his arm a break, so Tony moved the chair, turned over a new piece of paper, and started drawing again.

 

An hour or so passed like that before Loki’s stomach growled and tore them both out of their reverie. He looked up at Tony and made a face. “Apparently I’m hungry.”

 

Tony admired him and closed his notebook. “Let’s get you some food.”

 

Hours later, after they had dressed, eaten, changed into pajamas, and gotten back into bed, they were pretended to watch a movie on Loki’s laptop while they waited for Bruce to come back to the room.

 

Technically they _were_ watching the movie, but Tony’s hand also happened to be stroking Loki’s penis under the blankets.

 

Loki was wearing his short shorts and his otter sleep shirt, clutching at Tony’s tank top while he whimpered against his chest and slowly moved his hips along with the stroking. His eyes were screwed shut and his lower lip trembled as he was pleasured.

 

Tony had the arm not stroking Loki wrapped around the boy, and his nose pressed against his hair. He murmured encouragements and naughty words in a voice barely above a whisper, and punctuated his filth with kisses to the scalp.

 

“You are so fucking gorgeous.”

 

“Ngh, uhn, Tony, please,” Loki panted, softly, clutching at him again.

 

His body tensed and then jerked as his mouth fell open and let out a hot gasp against Tony’s neck. The engineer pumped his lover through the release, kissing his head as he did so.

 

Neither of these assholes would admit it, but they were fucking dating.

 

oooooooo

 

Tony had forgotten about choir tour.

 

He was so excited to see Loki after he returned from his family vacation, despite the fact that they had been calling and texting each other the entire fucking time, and was crushed when his partner reminded him that he was immediately due to leave with his choir on a trip.

 

It was balls.

 

Loki was not terribly excited about it either. There was not enough time in-between getting back with his family and his next departure to see Tony, and to insist that it happen would have been too _coupley_.

 

Which was crap because they were a fucking couple.

 

In addition to delaying his reunion with orgasms, Loki had been dreading this trip because Fandral still happened to be in choir.

 

Natasha would be there, so it was not like he was going to be left alone to brood, but she still didn’t know everything and there was a part of him that was terrified she was going to find out on this trip.

 

Other than his paranoia, he was looking forward to spending time with her. He had plans to room with a boy he did not know very well, but whose girlfriend was rooming with Natasha. This way the couples could swap.

 

He was desperately in need of her wisdom and guidance when it came to matters of Tony. The week with his family had not proved useful in this endeavor because he found himself too pissed of with Thor to divulge the details of how his relationship with Tony had escalated, and he never got enough time alone with his mother without his father appearing.

 

And that was _not_ happening.

 

But he and Natasha would have butt loads of alone time on this trip, and she could tell him what was what.

 

The thing was, Tony had made him happier in the last week than he had been in the last two years. He was maybe, _maybe_ , and that word really cannot be stressed enough, thinking about asking his partner on a date.

 

Just one, harmless, casual, no-strings-attached date where they would not even go home together afterward, sounded potentially not horrifying.

 

The deal was, Loki liked Tony – hell, he was fucking _in love_ with him – and that was terrifying. He had reason to believe that Tony felt the same way, but after what happened with Fandral he was terrified of being wrong. Was it not entirely possible that Tony was also only interested in him for his body? Or even if he did have legitimate feelings for Loki, what if they got together and he changed his mind because Loki had no idea how to function in a relationship?

 

As long as he kept feelings and commitment at arms length, he did not need to fear being rejected. It would have made sense, if his insecurities included Tony only being interested in sex, to keep his body to himself and not to pleasure his partner, but at least this way he felt like he kept the engineer interested. Before he could propose the idea, or entertain the possibility of a relationship, he had to demonstrate to Tony that he had worth in the bedroom.

 

It was fucked up, but this was what dating Fandral had taught him.

 

And really, so far he had been doing what he considered to be a good job of keeping up his rule about not letting feelings interfere. Of course, he didn’t realize that if he wanted to be nothing more than ‘friends with benefits’ then he and Tony should not have sleep overs, they should not cuddle, they should not _flirt every goddamn hour of the day_ , call each other everyday just to hear each other’s voices, purchase goofy souvenirs for each other, hold hands at dinner, or – you know – _be in love with each other_.

 

But the men were learning as they went, and as far as Loki was concerned, they were not dating.

 

Yet.

 

He was currently flipping through channels on the television in the hotel, flirting with Tony via text, and waiting for his Russian lovely to get out of the shower.

 

**_Text me a picture of you in a swimsuit – get Nat to take it._ **

****

Loki smiled at his phone.

 

**_I won’t be able to go to the beach until tomorrow._ **

 

He grinned happily as he waited for the response and pretended to pay attention to _Cake Boss_.

 

 ** _Well shit! I guess you’ll have to send me a different picture to tie me over_**.

 

That was exactly the response he was hoping for. He had taken a naked selfie earlier when he showered, making sure not to include his face, and had saved it hoping it would be requested. He was turning slightly in the photo and something about the way he was bent made his ass look incredible, in his humble opinion.

 

He sent it to Tony, grinning all the while, and waited.

 

Natasha came out of the shower, sighing happily and toweling her hair. She had not bothered to put pajamas on, because she and Loki had seen each other naked, and came to lie next to him on their shared bed.

 

“Are you texting Tony?” she asked, tilting her head to the side to collect her hair in a bunch.

 

“Yes, how could you tell?”

 

She rolled her eyes and smiled. “You’ve got that stupid, goofy grin on,” she commented, lightly kicking him.

 

He flushed and dropped his gaze, jumping a little too quickly when his phone lit up again.

 

**_Oh my god_ **

 

**_I wish you could have seen how quickly my dick stood up_ **

 

Loki bit his lip and his eyes lit up.

 

**_You could always show me ;)_ **

****

Natasha laughed at his face. “I take it the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing is still working for you two?” she teased.

 

He set his phone down for a moment, willing his blush to disappear (although he was _very_ excited for the next message he was likely to receive), and met her gaze. “Actually, I wanted to ask you about that.”

 

She raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to continue.

 

“I’ve been thinking about asking him out… on a real date.”

 

Her laughter was just mean.

 

In the same indignant and offended way he had with Tony, he scowled and demanded, “ _Why are you laughing?!_ ”

 

She smiled at him and reached over to pinch his cheek. “Well that didn’t take long. You guys have been at this for what, two weeks? I knew you would crack,” she said, poking his side.

 

He glared at her, but it only seemed to encourage her laughter. It was irritating how that always seemed to happen.

 

“I’m just teasing you,” she sighed after a moment, fondly grabbing his leg and squeezing. “I think it’s great that things are going well with Tony, and honestly friends with benefits never works out anyway.”

 

“So you think I should ask him out?” he asked hopefully.

 

Natasha gripped his leg again and nodded. “Yes, the second we get home you should ask that boy out and then wear matching boyfriend shirts.”

 

His smirk was too fond for his kick to mean any real harm, but he did it anyway. “I’m not asking him to be my _boyfriend_ , just for a normal, casual date,” he explained calmly, carefully checking his phone for a response.

 

She rolled her eyes. “You are exhausting, you know that?”

 

He pouted at her. “Why?”

 

“It’s obvious that you want him to be your boyfriend so why do you keep avoiding it?”

 

Loki sighed and looked down at where her hand was on his leg. “It’s complicated,” was all he said.

 

It looked like she was about to reply, but his text alert went off and Loki practically sprang to answer.

 

Just as he had hoped for, Tony had sent him an _unfairly_ sexy picture of himself. He was lying on his bed at home with his legs spread and a hand wrapped around his erection. The caption read:

 

 ** _Thinking of you_**.

 

Loki’s eyes bulged.

 

“Show me,” Natasha demanded, reaching for his phone. But Loki practically flew away from her, leaping off the opposite side of the bed to get away.

 

“No! I don’t ask you for naked pictures of _your_ boyfriend!”

 

The red head tossed her head back and laughed. “That’s because you don’t _care_. Now lemme see his dick.”

 

He scowled at her and clutched the phone to his chest. “Mine.”

 

“Told you,” she smirked. “I want to hear about your sex life.”

 

His attention was fixed firmly on the photo on his screen as his fingers typed a reply.

 

**_Oh yeah? What am I doing to you?_ **

****

Natasha threw a pillow at his head, demanding attention. “Tell me!”

 

Loki settled himself on the bed again, pointedly keeping his phone on the side opposite her. “Well, so far it’s been lovely,” he said with a smile.

 

She moved to cross her legs and tossed the towel at him. “Yeah? How far have you gone?”

 

“Well we give each other hand jobs a lot, and I’ve gone down on him…”

 

Natasha frowned at him. “He didn’t reciprocate?”

 

“He wanted to, but Bruce came back and it was awkward,” Loki explained, glancing at his phone again as it vibrated in his hands.

 

**_Thinking about your mouth on me_ **

 

It was going to be difficult to hold a conversation with his friend while he sexted his lover, but he really didn’t want to stop either.

 

**_Flicking my tongue against your slit and tasting your precum?_ **

****

“You’re going to let him, right?”

 

The dark haired teen glanced up at her. “Go down on me? Yeah, I will.”

 

“It feels good, you know.”

 

The look he gave her made her laugh again. “How would you know, you haven’t got a cock,” he pointed out.

 

She shrugged and picked at the chipping polish on her toes. “Oral is one of the universe’s gift to mankind.”

 

**_Wrapping your lips around the head and sucking lightly_ **

 

“I have an awkward question for you,” he muttered, typing out a response.

 

**_Sliding down to take you completely into my mouth_ **

****

“Go crazy.”

 

Loki locked his phone again and pursed his lips as he thought about how best to phrase this.

 

“Has Clint, or have you ever… put your tongues… in each other’s butts?” he asked, getting squeaky and quiet by the end of the question.

 

“You mean rimming?”

 

He shrugged. “Sure, let’s go with that.”

 

“How can you know this little about sex when you have an active Internet connection?”

 

“Leave me alone! Have you ever done it?”

 

She continued to chip away the polish. “Nope. I mean, it’s not outside the realm of what we are comfortable with; I just haven’t had the desire to do so. Why, does Tony want to eat you out?”

 

He flushed again. “Yeah, he does,” he replied softly, making a face as he did so.

 

“Are you going to let him?” she asked, standing to retrieve her nail polish from her bag.

 

“I think I should get comfortable with fingering before I let him put his mouth down there,” he reasoned, shyly.

 

“Fair enough. Paint my toes,” she demanded, returning to the bed and stretching her feet out for him.

 

He pulled them onto his lap and reached for the bottle, shaking it to stir up the paint and slapping the base of the bottle against his palm. “What does fingering feel like?”

 

“It’s going to feel different for you than it does for me,” she pointed out, wiggling her toes. “I’m pretty sure, though, that his goal is to find your prostate.”

 

Loki hummed in response, embarrassed by the topic (even though he brought it up), and focused on painting her nails.

 

“You guys are in love so no matter what it’s all going to be special and magical,” she teased.

 

He glared at her again. “We are _not_ in love,” he corrected.

 

“Bitch, please. I see the way you two look at each other, and don’t think I don’t know what you are texting about,” she grumbled.

 

“Sexting does not equal love,” he replied haughtily, intentionally wiping the polish on her foot.

 

The Russian kicked him. “It does when you get that stupid look on your face every time he texts you.”

 

As if to prove her point, Tony chose that moment to text and Loki’s face lit up with a stupid grin.

 

**_Sorry, the texting was taking away from my focus. I just came all over myself thinking about your head down there. I miss you_ **

****

Loki distractedly handed her the brush and replied, his grin getting dopier by the second.

 

**_I miss you, too. When I get back on Wednesday you won’t have to settle for the fantasy._ **

****

Natasha rolled her eyes at her friend’s face. These two assholes were exhausting, and they were very fucking much in love.

 

oooooooo

 

For the last night of choir tour, the students had taken to the beach for the day. Loki and Natasha had laid out with books, magazines, and iPods, and relaxed. One of the choir members had brought a considerable amount of alcohol, and was distributing it without discrimination – meaning that the besties had been drinking for several hours and were pleasantly warm by the time the sun went down.

 

They lingered on the beach, as that seemed to be where the party was. Though they weren’t actively spending time with their peers, they did enjoy sharing a towel and drinking together.

 

Natasha made sure to snap a picture of her friend in his swimsuit earlier so that he could send it to his future boyfriend, and he did the same for her. They were covered a bit more now, wearing hooded sweatshirts on top of their suits to fight off the sea breeze that accompanied nightfall.

 

This hoodie belonged to Tony. Loki kept sniffing the collar and grinning.

 

Natasha kept rolling her eyes.

 

She stepped away to pee for a moment while Loki guarded their shared beverage, and by guard of course that means finish. He was feeling very peaceful and pleasant, enjoying the sound of the waves crashing and the smell of the ocean when a most unwelcome voice interrupted him.

 

“Hey, Loki?”

 

He turned his head and his heart stopped.

 

The closest he had come to Fandral before this was when they had to share an _airplane_. Other than that he had taken great care to be as far away from the other male as possible and considered this moment to be a violation.

 

“Get away from me,” he hissed, sounding more uncomfortable than angry.

 

“Can I please just talk to you for a second?” Fandral pressed. He looked remorseful and his tone was pleading, but Loki wasn’t an idiot.

 

“No, you can’t. Go away,” he demanded, his breathing starting to pick up.

 

“Loki, _please_ , I just have some things I need to say to you-”

 

“I don’t care! You need to get away from me right now!” he shrieked back, earning glances from other students.

 

Where was Natasha? If she came back then he would leave. Loki had imbibed too much and was not and had not the mental fortitude for whatever the hell was happening right now.

 

Fandral didn’t leave. Instead, he dropped to sit down next to Loki and stared at his hands.

 

“I want to apologize-”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Loki interrupted, looking at his ex as though he had grown an extra head.

 

“Please, please just let me say this and I will never bother you again, I promise,” Fandral begged.

 

Loki didn’t want to listen, but more than that he didn’t want Fandral to draw attention again, so he just closed his mouth and glared.

 

Fandral took a deep breath and looked down at his hands. “I want you to know I don’t live with Thanos anymore.”

 

He waited for a reaction, but Loki just continued to glare.

 

“I, uh, after what he did I kicked him out and we aren’t friends anymore.”

 

More glaring.

 

“And, um… look I know this probably doesn’t mean anything, but I am truly sorry for the way I treated you. Making money off of having sex with you was wrong, and so was leading you on… and I don’t have words for how immature and shitty I was being, just… just know that I’m sorry.”

 

Loki’s hands had balled into fists and he had to turn his head away as he felt angry tears filling his eyes.

 

“And, god. Okay, this isn’t an excuse, but – I just want you to know that I didn’t mean to… to _rape_ you, and if you want to press charges or something I won’t fight you.”

 

His head whipped around so fast he heard his neck pop.

 

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me?”

 

Fandral blinked at him and sputtered.

 

“You didn’t _mean_ to rape me? Who the fuck says that?!” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down. He really didn’t want this conversation to be overhead.

 

“I didn’t-”

 

“Fuck you, Fandral. You are an asshole and a piece of shit and I _hate_ you,” Loki spat, fighting to control himself. “I’m not going to press charges because this is so fucking _humiliating_ -”

 

“What’s going on?” Natasha interrupted. It was perfect timing, too, because Loki’s tears were now flowing freely down his cheeks and he was seconds away from tearing Fandral’s eyes out.

 

The blond stood quickly and brushed off his ass. “I was just leaving…” he murmured, casting another apologetic look at his ex before retreating to his friends.

 

Natasha dropped down beside her friend and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Are you okay?” she whispered.

 

“Yeah-yeah, I’m just,” he had to pause as he choked on a sob. Natasha wordlessly lifted him to his feet, picked up the towel and walked her friend back to their room.

 

The second the door was closed behind them he lost it. He sank to the floor, pulled his knees up to his chest, and _sobbed_.

 

How fucking _dare_ Fandral. Who in the ever loving _fuck_ ambushes their ex-boyfriend like that with some half-assed apology for fucking _raping_ them?! Who in the fuck?! What kind of sociopathic, first world, privileged asshole bullshit was that?!

 

The worst part was that what Loki said was fucking true. He was _humiliated_ by what had happened, and the prospect of actually trying to take legal action and others finding out – his _father_ finding out – it was too much. It made him want to burst into flames.

 

Natasha pulled him into as tight a hug as she could from his position and whispered reassurances to him.

 

Much like Tony, she was good about not demanding details or pressing when it was better not to. She simply held her friend while he cried, and then dried his eyes when his breathing had calmed down.

 

“Th-thank you,” he choked as he stood up, avoiding eye contact because this was equally fucking embarrassing; falling to pieces like this in front of his friend. “I’m just going to take a shower.”

 

She nodded and pulled him into another hug. “I love you a lot, Loki,” she murmured, giving him a squeeze.

 

He fought not to start sobbing again and just nodded, incapable of words.

 

When he stepped under the spray of the shower, the tears started fresh again.

 

What the fucking fuck. This had _ruined_ everything. He felt stupid, small, slutty, and _worthless_. Worst of all, he had been so sure that he was going to ask Tony out, and now the very notion made him feel ashamed.

 

He felt like he wouldn’t ever get over this, at least not while Fandral was around an apparently able to _drop in_ at any moment.

 

Everything was stupid and rotten and horrible.

 

He stayed in the shower for far too long, crying and wishing he lived someone else’s life, only leaving when the hot water was gone.

 

When he returned to the bedroom, Natasha had changed into her pajamas and turned on _Bridezillas_. She waited for him to pull on his own sleep clothes and then let him cry quietly on her chest as they pretended to watch the show. She didn’t ask for an explanation or acknowledge his tears, just lovingly rubbed his back and watched the TV.

 

But she had done something.

 

The next day at the airport, when Loki saw Fandral’s black eyes and clearly broken nose, he had turned to his friend with bloodshot eyes threatening to water again, and she had held his hand and kissed his cheek.

 

After Loki had gone to take a shower, Natasha stepped out to beat up Fandral simply for making her friend cry. She knew there was more to it, but if anyone asked then that was her reason for messing up his face.

 

And maybe kicking him in the crotch.

 

Loki slept on her shoulder on the flight back, and she frowned sadly at the turn of events. It didn’t look like her friend was going to follow through on his dating plans, anymore.

 

Tony’s sweater was packed away.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading!


	23. And Then Everything Went To Hell

All he wanted to do was tumble into bed and pass out early. It had been an excruciatingly long day, between canceled flights, long layovers, and avoiding intensely uncomfortable eye contact with Fandral, Loki just wanted for today to not be happening anymore.

 

When he was showered, changed into pajamas, and reaching for his phone to ask Tony to postpone their reunion in favor of catching some z’s (he had also not yet decided how best to handle seeing his crush again), a giddy knock rapped at his door and he knew that his plans for the evening were shot.

 

“Three things,” Tony said, sweeping into the room past Loki and holding up the correct amount of fingers to illustrate his point. He had a plastic bag in one hand, likely holding food, and what looked like a folded up shirt tucked under his arm.

 

“One,” he held up the bag, “I grabbed you Korean barbeque from a place that I found _all on my own_ , so you and Thor can suck it,” he teased, placing the food on Loki’s bed. “Two, I saw this shirt and got it for you – I did _not_ see it on the Internet and rush order it because that would be weird of me.” He unfolded the shirt to reveal a sassy cartoon otter wearing sunglasses with a speech bubble saying: “Play with my tail.”

 

Loki fell a little bit more in love.

 

“And three,” the engineer murmured after tossing the shirt next to the food, once he was pleased with Loki’s reaction. He took his now free hands, gently placed them on Loki’s cheeks, stared at him fondly for a moment, and softly pressed their lips together. “Hey, you.”

 

Loki fell a lot in love.

 

He had been prepared to mope and come up with ways to avoid Tony until he could figure out what he wanted to do, but then this stupid jackass came and in five seconds made butterflies go nuts in his chest.

 

“Hey, you,” he breathed back, leaning forward for another kiss.

 

Tony took his hands off of Loki’s face in favor of wrapping them around his waist, and then giving him a squeeze. “Man alive, did I miss you,” he murmured, nuzzling Loki’s nose.

 

 _Heaven_.

 

“I missed you too… I got you a present,” Loki started, twisting to escape the embrace and retrieve the gift. But Tony kept his hold tight and locked his princess in place.

 

“It can wait. We’ve got a lot of kisses to catch up on…” he purred, patting the crease where Loki’s ass met the top of his thighs. This was their signal for letting Loki know that Tony wanted him to wrap his stupidly long legs around his lover’s waist.

 

Loki would have protested, but there was a glint so delighted it bordered on manic in Tony’s eyes, and it was exciting. He grinned and hopped up to complete the task, laughing when his partner immediately turned and pressed him up against a wall.

 

It felt wonderful. It felt so stupidly wonderful that Loki wanted to scream.

 

He also wanted that Korean barbeque.

 

Tony set right back to kissing him, driving his tongue into a warm mouth and moaning when it was massaged back. Their hands tangled in each other, desperate for the contact they had been denied over the past week and half.

 

Stupid assholes.

 

Not two minutes into their frantic wall smooching and they were panting, pulling back to stare at each other as they fought for breath.

 

“Can this just be what we do after you come back after a long time? You jump into my arms and we make out?”

 

Loki nodded breathlessly. “It’s a deal.”

 

“Okay,” Tony breathed after a few seconds of labored goo goo eyes. He patted Loki’s thighs to make the boy unhook and slide down. “Let’s get in bed. I need to see you naked.”

 

Again, Loki would have protested and insisted that he needed sleep…but Tony had turned him on and now he felt like being naked. Instead of prematurely ending their reunion, he grinned and pulled his shirt off as he stumbled toward his bed. The men giggled at the way they got tangled in their own clothes in their mad attempt to get into bed as fast as possible. But then, warm hands were fondling familiar skin, and Loki’s whole body felt like it was on fire as he laid down and spread his legs.

 

Tony climbed on top of him, head tucked to the side so he could suck on his favorite neck. He wanted to hear Loki _moan_.

 

Luckily for him Loki has a problem and makes sex noises anytime he’s touched so Tony’s wish was granted almost immediately. He didn’t miss the way teeth pressed against his neck as lips disappeared in a pleased grin, and Loki fought not to roll his eyes.

 

“So _pleased_ with yourself,” he grumbled, lightly swatting at his lover’s head.

 

Tony looked up at him and grinned. “Sounds to me like _you’re_ the one who’s pleased, darlin’,” he teased, dropping his head back down to nip at Loki’s collarbone.

 

“Don’t be too cocky. I haven’t had an orgasm since our last night together, so everything is extra sensitive.” He was cut off by another moan.

 

Tony’s head looked up comically slowly and he gaped at his lover. “You haven’t had an orgasm in over a week?! Oh, Loki, we’ve gotta fix that…”

 

When Loki’s chest was covered in hickeys and love bites and Tony was happily blowing raspberries on his stomach and trying not to get kicked as Loki giggled and thrashed, the words he so desperately wanted to say almost fell out of the engineer’s mouth.

 

He caught himself in time and decided to pour all of his unspoken love into cock sucking to keep his mouth occupied.

 

Tony kissed along Loki’s hipbones, giving him a chance to catch his breath, and exhaled hot air along the underside of his darling’s flushed penis. He paused, looking up to make sure it was okay, and got smacked in the chin by impatient hips.

 

“All right, all right,” he grumbled, trying to hide his smile.

 

While he had received a lot of blowjobs in his life and knew the _theory_ , Tony had yet to put his years of academia into practice and was just as nervous about screwing this up as Loki was about accidentally letting out gas while Tony’s head was down there.

 

Though both of their fears were unfounded because as Natasha had said – they were _in love_ , and no matter what happened it was going to be special.

 

Tony tried to remind himself that first and foremost, Loki was his best friend and that this didn’t have to be some super scary first time big deal _affair_ , but his heart was hammering as a clumsy tongue crept out between his lips and pressed to the base of Loki’s cock.

 

He heard the other boy’s breath hitch. Pressing his tongue flat, he slowly dragged up along the bottom of the shaft, rounding over the tip and pausing to tease the slit. Already there was a bead of clear fluid sitting there, and Tony licked it away.

 

Unsure completely of what to do next, he gripped it with one hand and lapped at the head. It was uncoordinated, but Loki was twisting his hips and whimpering and those were good signs.

 

 _‘Do what you would want, dumbass,’_ Tony scolded, though he was having fun acting like a cat on someone else’s genitals. Carefully, trying to avoid teeth, he wrapped his lips around the head and gave an experimental suck.

 

Loki’s hand fell to his hair and tangled in the brown locks. “Uhn, _yes_ , Tony,” he breathed. His other arm was up by his face, which he had turned to bury in it, and was gripping the pillow behind him with white knuckles.

 

That’ll work!

 

Tony slowly worked his mouth down the length, trying to lick the underside and squeeze the base where he gripped it. He had never appreciated how uncomfortable it must be giving head; watching out for teeth, working the tongue, and trying to breathe – but he wanted to make Loki feel good, and it sent a sort of thrill through him that he _liked_ doing this. He tried to mimic what Loki had done to him: hollowing the cheeks on the ascent up the dick, and the move earned him a cry so wanton he almost shot off right there.

 

Once he stopped over thinking everything it came as natural as breathing. The only surprise came when not a few minutes in, Loki suddenly gripped his hair like it was a punishment, shuddered, and released in his mouth.

 

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry!” he panted after his hips stopped twitching. He let go of Tony’s hair and wiped tears out of the corners of his eyes, moving to sit up and apologize some more.

 

Tony looked at him like he was crazy. “Why are you apologizing? Praise me, dammit!”

 

Loki looked mortified. “I should have warned you that I was going to cum but I didn’t want you to stop and -mpfh!”  His lover interrupted his nonsensical insecurities by lurching forward and kissing him.

 

“Feeling you come undone like that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced. Don’t you dare be sorry,” he murmured, punctuating his speech with little kisses. He laid Loki back down and laced their fingers together. “Do you not realize how much I _want_ you to get off?”

 

His princess blushed. “I know, but I should have warned you… my penis was being selfish.”

 

Tony kissed him again. “Let your penis be selfish. You deserve it, you deserve all the orgasms and I am going to give them to you…” and his lips were off on Loki’s neck again.

 

They giggled and messed around like teenagers for the better part of an hour, only stopping after Loki had gone down on Tony, who _did_ warn his partner before cumming and was rewarded by releasing all over his face. The men picked up the bag of Korean barbeque that had been kicked off the bed, munched on their treats, snuggled, and after Loki threw on a robe and darted off to the bathroom to brush his teeth – they settled in for bed.

 

They each had loose warm feelings in their chests and couldn’t stop smiling. Tony kept rubbing his lips against the back of Loki’s neck and squeezing his arms around his waist, occasionally dropping his hand to stroke up and down his side and thigh. Loki’s arms covered his lover’s and he would hum at the touches and sigh.

 

It happened on accident, when Tony felt an overwhelming rush of affection and found himself muttering words he was not supposed to say onto the neck he had been teasing.

 

_“I love you.”_

 

Immediately afterward he prayed that Loki was asleep and had not heard him.

 

Loki had.

 

oooooooo

 

They didn’t talk about it. Loki pretended he hadn’t heard anything, but he did proceed with his initial plan of avoiding Tony after that. Every time he got a text or call from his partner, he was equal parts excited and terrified.

 

Love was _explicitly_ not allowed in their little arrangement. Loki had made it very clear that he was still neurotic as balls and couldn’t handle such intimacy – especially with someone _he_ was in love with! It was psychotic – but it was the reality of things.

 

Tony chalked up his partner’s recent seclusion to moodiness over their project being unceremoniously canceled. They had seen it coming for months, but after getting no more than a cursory e-mail explaining that funding had been pulled and the department apologizing for any ‘inconvenience’, they were both a little miffed. Not that they had worked especially hard on it or anything…

 

He also knew that Loki had friendly duties to Natasha, who had been dumped by Clint not long after she got back from choir tour. Tony had not been briefed on the circumstances of the breakup; all he knew was that Natasha was not taking it well and that meant she needed a lot of time with her best friend. He had also heard a rumor that she was going abroad next year, but had been wary of asking Loki about it, and thought perhaps the friends were just squeezing in as much time together as possible before she did.

 

Either way he didn’t want the lack of time together to be because of the ‘I love you’.

 

But by the end of April, Tony realized that he and Loki had gone weeks without having a proper sleepover or adequate hangout time. Their other classes required a lot of work and attention – but not this much. They had really only met in groups with the girls or to mess around for a few hours in between classes. Tony was desperately craving a weekend with his sweetie filled with movies, pizza, and lots of naked butt touching.

 

He was tickled when he request was met with the same amount of enthusiasm.

 

Friday night had been great. The boys went to a movie, held hands, and Loki jerked Tony off through his jeans in the back row. They shared a soda and made out in the parking lot for thirty minutes before driving home (but nooo it wasn’t a _date_ ). Loki’s parents were gone that night so the partners set up camp there and took advantage of the hot tub. As fate would have it, going down on your might-as-well-be-boyfriend when his legs are submerged and he’s arching his back over the side of the tub and the sound of his moans are mixed with splashes and bubbles is _exactly_ as hot as Tony had always imagined. After more frottage in their post-tub shower, they cuddled and fell asleep to the Rufus Wainwright Pandora station.

 

Perfect fucking evening.

 

Saturday was even great too! They slept in, had a late breakfast, went swimming and played categories, made out in Thor’s room, and sea slugged on the couch.

 

When Loki’s parents came back, the men retreated to Loki’s bedroom and opted to fool around some more. Tony sat with his back against the headboard, legs spread and Loki sitting between them with his back pressed to Tony’s chest. The engineer’s arm was wrapped around a slim waist, stroking his darling while Loki panted against his neck and reached his arms behind him to cling.

 

It was fantastic until the most thunderous of all bulls burst in the door, looking murderous and fuming. This was not helped when he realized what exactly he had interrupted.

 

Thor pointed an accusing finger at a horrified Tony and seethed: “ _You_.”

 

Loki was sputtering and scrambling to cover himself while Tony blinked and pointed to himself. “Me?”

 

“Get away from my brother!”

 

“Thor what the fuck! Get out!” Loki hissed, eying the open door, fearful that his parents would hear yelling and come up.

 

But Thor was just as stubborn and headstrong as his brother and stood his ground, looking like he was going to murder something. “You stay the fuck away from my brother,” he snarled. “You ever try to hurt him again and I will _kill_ you.”

 

The partners looked at each other with angry, bewildered expressions and then turned them on the blond.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Thor made like he was going to attack him, and Loki put himself in front of Tony and glared at his brother. “Thor, what the hell.”

 

He didn’t take his eyes off of Tony. “I just saw Thanos. He told me everything, he told me how Tony has been pressuring you to have sex with him even though you don’t want to-”

 

“Thor that is total crap!” Loki screeched, quickly catching himself and nervously shooting another glance at the door. “Thanos is a creep and a liar who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. And Tony is _not_ pressuring me to do anything – and this is none of your business!”

 

Thor turned his glare to Loki and stepped toward him. “Like hell it isn’t! If someone is hurting you-”

 

Loki made an angry noise through clenched teeth. “He. Isn’t!”

 

“I’m not, Thor, really I don’t know what you heard but –”

 

Thor still looked wild and furious as he pointed at Tony again. “Shut up. What are you two even doing? Isn’t mom paying for therapy because you can’t handle dating?”

 

His younger brother scowled at him and pulled the sheets further over his chest. “That is not why I’m in – how do you even know about that?” he spat, looking like a pissed off cat.

 

“I heard you two talking about it, and I would have said something but you are so fucking determined to distance yourself from me-”

 

“Yeah! Because you _lied_ to me –”

 

“I have apologized for that, Loki!” Thor roared.

 

“That doesn’t mean I have to forgive you right away!”

 

Tony looked back and forth nervously between the brothers and the open door. “Um, guys, the door is still open so if you could keep it down…”

 

Thor gave him a look so reminiscent of an angry Loki that Tony thought they should scrap all drama about the adoption because _clearly_ they were related. “So you _aren’t_ supposed to be fucking around up here?”

 

“That is none of your business!” Loki shrilled, higher pitched but quieter.

 

“What the hell, Loki? Do you even care about how worried everyone else has been about your well being, and whether or not things work out with you two – and now I find out you’re fucking! I’m telling mom.”

 

 “No! No – no, no, no, Thor please,” Loki started, scrambling out of bed and reaching for the first shirt he could grab. Thank balls it was an oversized sleep shirt that covered his crotch because he _tore_ after his brother down the hall.

 

Tony sat awkwardly in the bed for a moment, still hiding himself, trying to decide if he should follow. He did end up springing up and dressing quickly, but then made a dance out of leaving the bedroom and darting back in as he debated whether his presence would do more harm than good.

 

Downstairs, Frigga was flipping through a catalogue and sipping iced tea when both of her boys burst into the living room.

 

“Loki is sleeping with Tony!” Thor boomed, though the result was pretty anticlimactic. Frigga just blinked at him and Loki looked horrified.

 

“Um…” she started.

 

“Thor and Jane are, too!” Loki shot back, swatting at his brother and looking murderous.

 

Frigga kept blinking. “I don’t, um….”

 

But Thor looked mad as hell. He glowered at Loki and then turned back to his mother. “Loki’s project was canceled weeks ago and he didn’t tell you because he thought dad would be disappointed!”

 

“That’s really -”

 

Loki made a bitch face. “Thor failed two classes last semester and didn’t tell you because he’s worried you’ll pull him out of school!”

 

“Boys, please –”

 

Were they five?

 

“Loki spent his Christmas money getting tested for STD’s!”

 

 _That_ was not okay. Loki rounded on his brother looking more and more like a feral animal. His eyes were wide and crazy and his snarl had a bit too much teeth in it. That had been extremely confidential information! Of course he got tested for STD’s! His dumbass boyfriend wouldn’t let them use condoms during sex! Surely his mother would understand that if he just explained. But instead he said this:

 

“Thor and Jane had a pregnancy scare!”

 

Again. Not cool. More extremely private matter that brothers who used to be friends had shared because they thought they could trust each other.

 

Thor should have ended it right there. He should have realized that this was doing potentially irreversible damage to his relationship with his little brother and that he really didn’t want that. But much like Loki, he said something extremely foolish instead.

 

“Fandral raped Loki!”

 

Contrary to popular belief, trauma does not happen in slow motion. It all happens before the people inside it can even process what is going on, and it’s only afterward that everything grinds down to a stop and becomes unbearable to deal with. It took the occupants of the room a beat to realize what Thor had said. He immediately looked horrified with himself, wishing he could take it back, and turned to the brother he had betrayed.

 

Loki had never looked at him like that before. Not even the night he found out about his adoption. He had never looked so _hurt_ and _alone_ , standing there in his oversized shirt, legs naked, tears crowding the corners of his eyes, and an expression that said there was no going back. His lower lip trembled over his dropped jaw and Thor heard the way his breath hitched as sobs threatened to come out.

 

Frigga on the other hand was suddenly mad as hell.

 

“What?!” she shrieked, jumping up and throwing the magazine across the room.

 

“Loki, Loki I’m so sorry,” Thor started, reaching for his brother.

 

“How could you?” Loki whispered as the tears started to fall.

 

“Loki is this true? Do we need to take you to the hospital?” Frigga asked, rushing over and retreating immediately when her youngest son recoiled.

 

Tony had made the right decision to stay upstairs.

 

“No, mom it was months ago,” Loki choked out, voice barely audible. He dropped his head and tried to collect himself while Frigga reached for him again and Thor wanted to die.

 

But, because Loki drew the short end of the stick in life, Odin chose that moment to enter the room.

 

“Fandral did _what_ to Loki?”

 

And that was the straw that broke his back. He turned and sprinted back upstairs, leaving his horrified family standing there in the living room.

 

“You need to leave,” he choked out to Tony after he had slammed his bedroom door shut and collapsed against it.

 

His partner was up and at his side in a second. “Whoa, hey, hey, Loki what happened?”

 

But Loki just shook his head and tried to paw away Tony’s comforting embrace. “No – really, Tony,” he cried, “I need you to leave.”

 

“Loki… I’m really uncomfortable with that –”

 

“I’m fine, I just… I need to be alone,” he wept. He certainly didn’t look fine, with tears streaming down his red cheeks, and the way he seemed to be curling in on himself.

 

“Please.”

 

So Tony did as he was told, though it was with a grimace. He grabbed his things, kissed his lover on the forehead and whispered, “Call me if you need _anything_.”

 

He didn’t get a call, and Loki suffered all night.

 

oooooooo

 

What a fucking year.

 

Tony had just gotten out of dinner with Pepper when his phone went off. Loki had texted, asking him to come over, and he was intensely relieved.

 

Things had been strained to a breaking point since that night. Loki hadn’t spoken to his family, was ignoring all of Thor’s attempts at apologies, and had taken up almost exclusively with Natasha when he was not in class. Everything had just gone to hell.

 

He didn’t even stop to get food for Loki, as he usually would, so excited was he to see this boy. Tony hurried to his building, got someone exiting to let him in, and sprinted up the stairs.

 

He had hoped to be greeted with lots of kisses and hugs because Loki missed him so much, but his partner looked like _hell_ when he opened the door. The boy clearly had not slept and looked like he had been crying all day.

 

Tony leaned forward for a kiss and a hug anyway, and thanked everything that Loki let him.

 

“What’s goin’ on, pretty thing?” he asked softly, wiping away tears that had started to fall.

 

Loki shook his head and closed his eyes. He turned back to sit in his desk chair, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. In his oversized sweater and skinny jeans the whole position made him look very small.

 

“It’s been a rough couple of weeks,” he answered quietly. His voice sounded wrecked with tortured crying.

 

Tony pulled Bruce’s chair up to sit across from him and leaned forward, elbows on knees, to listen. “Talk to me.”

 

Loki pulled his sleeve down to cover his wrist and wiped his eye with it. “Everything with my family is just shot to hell right now. I can’t even look my parents in the eye…”

 

The engineer just nodded patiently, wanting him to continue.

 

“I told my mom about what happened with Fandral and even though she said she didn’t, I’m pretty sure she told my dad. And I just couldn’t stop crying and I kept apologizing for messing around with you because I feel like I was lying to her by letting her pay for therapy when I was doing something my therapist advised against…”

 

“Your therapist didn’t want you to be with me?”

 

Loki shrugged and kept his gaze averted. “He thought I should wait to engage in sexual activity until I had a healthier grasp about what it means to me… anyway, it was completely humiliating and I haven’t talked to her since the day after you were my house.”

 

Tony frowned sympathetically and reached out to grip Loki’s knee. “I’m really sorry. Have you spoken to Thor at all?”

 

His partner shook his head and wiped away more tears. “I don’t want to speak to him ever again. He’s dead to me.”

 

“You don’t mean that –”

 

“I would really love it if people would stop telling me what to do and how to feel,” Loki snapped, looking more alive than he had in weeks.

 

But it was unnecessary. Tony recoiled and held his hands up in defense. “I wasn’t trying to do that.”

 

“I know – I know,” Loki corrected quickly, burying his face in his hands. “Sorry, I haven’t slept in two days and I’m a little on edge.”

 

“How’s Natasha?” Tony asked nervously, wanting to change the subject. He really wanted to pull Loki into bed and make him sleep for a few days, but there was something very off about the way the other man was carrying himself and he didn’t feel right doing it.

 

Loki sighed dejected and ran a hand through his wild, unwashed hair. “Not well. She and Clint tried talking to each other a few days ago and it went really badly,” he answered.

 

“How come?” he pressed, still curious for breakup details.

 

“She doesn’t see the point in trying to work things out when she’s leaving in a few months and he feels guilty over how he ended things so he wants to work something out. Basically she’s being passive aggressive and hasn’t forgiven him for being a jerk.”

 

“So she is going abroad next year?”

 

His princess raised an eyebrow at him. “I thought you knew that.”

 

Tony shrugged and sat back in the chair. “I never wanted to ask ‘cuz I thought it would upset you…”

 

Loki pursed his lips and stared at the wall again. “She’s going to Russia both semesters,” he stated simply.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

His partner didn’t answer him right away, staring at the same spot and chewing on the inside of his cheek before taking a deep, shuddering breath. “School has sort of become… an unstable place for next year…” he started.

 

“What Thanos did really freaked me out… and I don’t feel safe being here with him and Fandral here for another year, especially with Natasha gone from choir. And things are so bad with my family right now that I can’t even stand the thought of moving back in with them for the summer –”

 

“Move in with me,” Tony interrupted, seizing the opportunity.

 

“Tony, I –”

 

“No! No it’s great, you can live with me! I mean, I know everything is going to hell and that’s terrible… but you can move in with me at the end of the year and we can get an apartment together – completely platonically!” he added, misreading the way Loki started to cry.

 

His princess just shook his head and buried his face in his knees and sobs wrecked him. “I can’t do that, Tony.”

 

It would have been more of a blow if Tony hadn’t just decided he wanted it five seconds ago, but it still hurt. “Why not?” he asked quietly, trying to sound understanding.

 

When Loki looked up Tony almost started crying. His face was shining with tears, his eyes were red, and he just looked so _broken_.

 

“Because I’m in love with you.”

 

And then everything was sunshine and rainbows and Tony felt warmth and light and he was closing the space between them and grabbing Loki’s face to kiss him. “I love you too, Loki. I love you. I love you. I love – why are you crying?” He had to pause his onslaught of kisses when Loki’s shudders became severe.

 

“Because I still don’t want a relationship! Don’t you see? This is horrible!” Loki cried, pathetically wiping his face even as more tears fell.

 

Tony just shook his head and frowned, confused. “But I don’t understand – if we both love each other, why don’t you want to be together?”

 

He gave Loki a minute to calm himself enough for speech, but it was tearing him apart to see the person he loved _this_ upset.

 

“It terrifies me,” Loki answered quietly through a constricting throat. “I despise myself… and even though you make me happier than I’ve ever been, and you make me like myself more everyday… I still can’t understand why someone like you would care for someone like me – and I feel like every time we mess around I’m leading you on because even though I’m completely in love with you it can’t actually _go_ anywhere.”

 

That was horrifying. “You don’t understand why I love you? Do you not believe that I love you? Loki, I’ve been crazy about you since _last year_ –” he stopped when Loki started shaking his head again.

 

“No, you don’t get it. It doesn’t matter what you say – the problem is _me_. The very idea of commitment and saying ‘I love you’ makes me so anxious I could vomit,” he sobbed.

 

Tony felt his own lip starting to tremble. “We don’t have to get together right now – I can wait! Loki, I can be patient. And you aren’t leading me on, no it’s okay, Loki don’t cry,” he pleaded.

 

“I don’t feel like I can be around you and not –” Loki had to stop to compose himself again.

 

“Wait, no. Hold up. Are you… are you friend breaking up with me?” Tony was horrified by the prospect.

 

When Loki looked up at him with wet eyes and a broken grimace his heart sank.

 

“Loki, no. No. No, you’re my best friend you can’t just – no we can stop messing around and I won’t say I love you we can go back to the way it was but –” his own voice hitched.

 

“I’m going to London, Tony.”

 

The engineer blinked at him and realized there were tears in his own eyes. “What?” he choked.

 

Loki took another shuddering breath. “I’m going to London next year… for school.”

 

He felt his heart stop and his stomach clench. “I don’t think you can sign up this late in the year.”

 

“I, um… it’s actually been arranged for several months…”

 

Oh, hell no.

 

Tony looked at him like he had just burst into flames. “What? What?! What the hell – you didn’t tell me!”

 

Loki looked up at him pleadingly and dropped his knees. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to go,” he explained quickly. “I applied right after I broke up with Fandral, and when things changed with you I thought if things were good by the end of the year then I would pull out of the program but then everything got _worse_ –”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tony interrupted, stung by what he was hearing.

 

Loki looked at him sadly. “I don’t know.”

 

“You don’t know,” he repeated.

 

“I was humiliated when I first applied… and, I guess I just thought – I wanted things to turn out differently. If I told you about London it was like I was accepting misery without expecting things to change…”

 

God fucking dammit. It made sense but it was still insanity. What the hell was Loki’s problem? Fandral really had ruined everything. Tony let out an exasperated noise and dragged his hands through his hair, then folded his fingers and placed his chin on them, staring forward.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Tony…. I’m sorry. I should have told you I just –”

 

“No,” Tony interrupted suddenly. “No this is okay. No we can make this work. I’ll come visit you! I can afford to fly out there whenever we have free time, and I’ll see you during holidays and – why are you crying again?” he asked with a sinking feeling.

 

“Tony I don’t… I don’t think we should speak to each other while I’m gone.”

 

He didn’t know that living could hurt this much – that the body was capable of feeling this much pain, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. But his heart very much felt like it had been stabbed and sat a deflated mess in his chest.

 

“What?”

 

Loki didn’t bother trying to calm himself down; he just spoke over the sobs. “I don’t know how to be around you, like this… knowing that I love you and that you love me… I can’t go away and just be waiting to come back to you – it won’t fix anything –”

 

“Are you messing with me right now? Is this actually happening?”

 

“Tony, please –”

 

“I was perfect! All year I was respectful and there for you and –”

 

“I know! You have been there for me but –”

 

“But nothing! I don’t deserve this!” Tony hollered, standing up and glaring down at the man he was in love with.

 

“This isn’t about you!” Loki shot back, rising to meet him and matching his glare. “This is about how I need to get away from here and away from this environment!”

 

Tony was furious. The reason and moral compass that had so strongly been guiding his actions and patience this year with all of the nonsense Loki had been through completely abandoned him in this moment. He felt blind rage – like Loki was deliberately trying to hurt him, completely disregarding what his lover had just said.

 

“When are you leaving?” Tony snapped, placing his hands on his hips and squaring his jaw.

 

Loki huffed and then softened. “The beginning of summer.”

 

Oh, no he was capable of feeling worse.

 

“You’re leaving in two weeks? Two weeks? Two weeks and then I don’t get to talk to you for an entire year?” he yelled, throwing his arms into the air. “What the hell, Loki! How selfish are you?!”

 

“Tony, _please_ –”

 

“I can’t look at you right now,” Tony grumbled, turning around, ignoring the way Loki reached for him, and leaving. He missed the way Loki sank to his knees and cried so hard he screamed once the door was closed.

 

He had never felt like this. Loki was leaving – for an entire fucking year! And what the fuck they couldn’t talk to each other?! How was Tony supposed to survive that? How could he be expected to make it that long without his best friend, his lover, his _everything_ , his – his favorite person in the world who he had just abandoned, sobbing.

 

It took him ten seconds to realize what he had done and to turn around and sprint back to Loki’s room.

 

There was no sense in knocking and he had not the patience for it anyway. He threw the door open and burst inside, moving to Loki without any kind of awareness of his legs. He yanked his shocked and confused partner up by the hands and grabbed him into his arms.

 

“I’m so sorry, Loki,” he said seriously, pressing his face into that pale neck.

 

“I’m sorry!” Loki gasped against him, falling apart in his arms.

 

The men clung to each other and cried desperately, squeezing each other and panting endearments and apologies.

 

“I don’t want to leave things like this.”

 

“I should have told you.”

 

“I love you so much.”

 

Neither knew how long they stood there, but long after the tears had stopped and they had caught their breaths they continued to hold onto each other – anchors in this horrible storm of bullshit.

 

Tony was moving his hands all over Loki, running them through his hair, up under his sweater, over his arms, and wrapping around his back. Somewhere in the touching they started kissing: slowly and softly. They laced their fingers together and hummed into each other’s mouths as tears continued to fall.

 

“We’ll figure this out,” Tony whispered.

 

Loki prayed he was right.

 

No more words were spoken after that. They sadly slipped into bed, fully clothed, curled tight against each other, and fell asleep with tears leaking down their cheeks all night.

 

oooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: One more chapter and then the epilogue. Thanks for reading!


	24. The First Set of Goodbyes

Maybe Bruce came back to the room at some point in the night, saw the way the partners were sniffling even as they slept, and decided he wanted to be somewhere else. Or maybe Loki told him about the unpleasant talk he was going to have with Tony and the scientist decided to avoid the hot zone. Either way he wasn’t there the next morning, and when Tony awoke he decided to take advantage of it.

 

Several times throughout the night he had woken up either from his own discomfort, or Loki’s shifting disturbing his body since they were holding each other so close. Around three a.m., when he was not able to immediately fall unconscious again, Tony’s mind raked and revolved around what the hell he was going to do. He and Loki could cut their losses now, walk away from each other and not suffer through two weeks of knowing that they may not be reunited after Loki comes back – or they could squeeze every second of time possible out of each other and milk this time for all its worth.

 

Tony opted for the second.

 

He gently rolled Loki onto his back, frowning at his puffy eyes, wrinkled clothes, and discomfited expression even in his sleep. It was a fair guess that Loki had suffered the same troubled sleep he had, but he wasn’t likely to get anything better even if Tony left him alone… so he started kissing Loki instead.

 

Ever so softly, he planted a tiny smooch on Loki’s lips. Tony paused and watched his partner’s face, looking for a reaction to see if it woke him. There was nothing more than a slight switch of the brow and a grunt, so he went back in. This process was repeated several times until Loki’s eyes did grudgingly blink open and he kissed back.

 

“Good morning, you,” Tony murmured, tracing his lover’s jawline and smiling sadly at him.

 

Loki closed his eyes and made a small noise in the back of his throat. “I’m not in the mood to exist today,” he lamented.

 

“Too bad for you, mister. I’ve got plans for us today and they require your sentience.” He dropped a few more kisses to silence any protests Loki might have had to such a statement.

 

“I need to shower.”

 

“Then let’s shower.”

 

They had woken early enough on a Saturday that the gang bath was empty, so they sleepily dragged their sorry asses down to the handicapped shower stall to take advantage. It was not the sexy, rebellious, hormone-driven shower that double occupancy usually sees, but instead rather a sad one.

 

Tony held Loki from behind, running his hands over the other’s chest and arms in a maddeningly slow lather, while his partner sighed and dropped his head back against Tony’s shoulder. The water served to hide and wash away their tears, so neither knew the other was silently leaking them. The men cleaned each other, pouring apologies and love into their reverence and delicacy with nothing more than soap and gentle touches. Tony briefly appreciated the symbolic nature of the cleansing bath, removing the impurities and befoulments of his outer shell as he was poisoned and tarred inside. His heart was a reeking mess; sick with bile and the sting of helplessness as he rubbed lathered fingers over a bruise he had left in a moment of passion on the love of his life’s neck, and fought not to lose his dinner over the thought that he might never leave another.

 

His hand hung there for a moment, his thumb mindlessly tracing over the purple blossom, while they stared at each other through the spray. Tony pulled the other boy against him and squeezed. Maybe if they just stayed in this shower for the rest of their lives then Loki wouldn’t need to go.

 

But such wishes are childish and full of selfish entitlement. Loki needed to leave and Tony needed to let him go.

 

He put on stale clothes and left Loki with a kiss and a promise to return in an hour after he had time to change and finish grooming himself. It wouldn’t take a full sixty minutes to do that, but Tony needed to sit down and scream into a pillow for at least thirty.

 

Once that was accomplished (it ended up needing to go first) he remembered his declaration to make the most of the time left to them and marched back to steer Loki around to his will.

 

Since they were entering dead week during school, Loki wasn’t up for taking off and flying to Paris, like Tony wanted to. He still had a tremendous amount of work to get done, both for school and to prepare for leaving, and needed to spend most of the day studying and running errands.

 

So Tony grabbed his laptop to work on his own business while Loki studied for exams. Anytime he saw his lover pause in his typing or reading to stretch his arms and crack his neck – the engineer appeared immediately behind him to rub his shoulders and kiss the back of his neck. More than once he kissed all the way around and up to smiling lips as he licked into a mouth filled with giggles and hums. Then he would pull away, let Loki finish his stupid psychology, and return to his own projects.

 

They went to the post office, Target, the pharmacy, and to multiple campus offices, and Tony was particularly fussy by the end of it all.

 

But at seven o’clock, Loki had e-mailed off two papers and was ready for a break. The boys picked up a pizza, stocked Tony’s little cooler, and took off in the preferred convertible, blasting classic rock and annoying other drivers.

 

“I hope you weren’t planning on actually star gazing,” Tony mumbled as he parked the car. “Because I plan on distracting you with my mouth.”

 

Beside him, Loki laughed and gave him a look. “Do we ever actually come out here to watch the sky?”

 

“No, but it would be a damn shame for you to change your ways today.”

 

The men climbed into the backseat, sans blankets since the weather was much kinder in May, and curled into each other.

 

The business of the day had distracted them from tears, and the few times they had been left alone with their thoughts were either in public or able to divert to their studies.

 

Tonight they just wanted to eat some pizza, cuddle like cats, and make out a lot.

 

So that’s exactly what they did.

 

oooooooo

And because nothing can go right in Tony’s life, his already perilously short time with Loki was stripped further when Jane dumped Thor.

 

She had been granted a student researcher position at an Astrology lab in New Mexico for junior year. It was a paid position, her tuition and housing were covered, she would make great connections, potentially get a thesis out of it, and she _loved_ the field – really it was fantastic news.

 

But she caught Thor in a selfish mood. She called him in the middle of his brooding over classes and not being able to call Loki for help and it was the last thing he wanted to hear.

 

And Jane, sweet Jane, wasn’t having it. If she was going to leave anyway then she might as well make a clean break and ensure that she could devote herself entirely to her academic pursuits. It was fair, warranted, and probably practical, but it broke Thor’s heart.

 

So as Loki practiced a presentation he had to give for a final on an audience consisting of Tony and their half-eaten Chinese food, he continually ignored his ringing phone until it bordered on negligence. Never ending phone calls are usually emergencies or clingy boyfriends and since Loki was already sitting with his boyfriend-unit he figured it was the latter.

 

He dismissed himself from their dinner and grudgingly went to his brother’s room to provide consolation he did not feel like giving and Tony stayed to finish his food and contemplate ways to kidnap Loki and lock him in a basement without it being ‘creepy’.

 

Spoiler alert: all of his ideas were creepy.

 

Tuesday he brought Loki a pear he had carved a smiley face into, and after Loki smiled and then threw the mutilated fruit away they grabbed bagels together before heading off to class.

 

Then more of the same: studying, texting Thor that everything would be okay, trying not to cry, packing, and kisses.

 

Wednesday.

 

Thursday.

 

Time was being a little bitch.

 

oooooooo

 

Technically there were other people in Loki’s life, _technically_ , although if he was being honest with himself then Tony really didn’t give a shit about them. He wanted a monopoly on Loki’s time, particularly since most of the things he wanted to do with that boy were not conducive to an audience. It annoyed him greatly that when it came to making plans for Loki’s birthday he needed to include Frigga, the recently dumped Thor, and Natasha. Previously his plan included a lot of oral sex on a beach somewhere private enough that they could fall asleep naked afterwards. But in his rather obnoxious bitching about the ill-fated plans, Loki actually liked what he was hearing and together the boys settled on a variation of Tony’s scheme that allowed for the necessary division of time.

 

The Friday night before his birthday, Loki would have an early dinner with his mother and Thor (Odin was out of town for business), just the three of them. The little diva was feeling charitable in the way of his brother, because in all of the misery he felt over his inevitable separation from Tony, at least he was in control of that decision. Jane had ended things with Thor seemingly out of nowhere, and his brother was taking it especially hard.

 

After the meal, the young would-be-couple would drive down to the beach, two hours from their school, and spend the weekend there. It was the same beach Loki had grown up visiting so he knew a good place to stay, a tasty seafood restaurant, and a private part of the beach where people were not allowed to go because of sea turtle hatching season. (He and Tony would not disturb the turtles, as he and Thor had learned at a very young age how to appropriately navigate back toward the unoccupied dunes and leave the sea dwellers to their business. The beach was only roped off to keep cars away). Then Saturday, his actual birthday, Natasha and Pepper would drive down and spend that evening with them. They would all drive up together the following day to get ready for finals.

 

Really, the girls were desperate for such a trip. Natasha kept fighting the urge to call Clint before she left and no longer had the chance to, and Pepper was anxiety-ridden over potentially not being able to afford another year of school. Apparently her scholarship was good, but it couldn’t cover everything and her parents were only able to help out so much. A trip where Mr. Tony Richpants foots the bill and demands that everyone relaxes is exactly what the party needed. Thor, who likely needed a relief just as much, would have been welcome if not for how much he was struggling in his classes and needed the weekend to prepare for his tests.

 

This plan suited Tony’s selfish desires just fine.

 

The engineer glanced at his phone for the millionth time in the last hour, praying to gods he didn’t believe in for a picture of Loki’s butt to pop up, his text alert, and say it was time to go.

 

At first Loki had not _loved_ that, which was just silly because it was a really good picture of his butt, but he conceded after Tony showed him the alternatives: all photos of Loki eating. And everyone knows _those are the worst kinds of photos._

 

Tony moved with speed he did not know he possessed when that cute, little butt did finally show up. The bags were already in the car, road trip music was on deck, he remembered to pack lube so he could fuck Loki’s thighs, and once they ran through a Starbucks _they were good to go_.

 

oooooooo

 

Loki insisted on staying in a hotel that costs less then his textbooks, despite Tony’s willingness to spoil him with some lavish suite, insisting that for only two days they might as well just stay in a cheap place that he was familiar with.

 

It wasn’t a bad hotel, it was just much different than Tony had imagined. The carpet was permanently caked in sand, and curtains perfectly matched the blue and purple logo that used to appear on plastic water cups, and the whole room smelled like sunscreen. But the sheets were clean, the door had locks, and the walls must have been well insulated because none of the neighbors had come to complain and Loki was making some loud, obscene noises.

 

The boys lasted long enough to drop their bags and take a glance around the room before tumbling into bed and tugging each other’s clothes off. They had rolled around, kissing and running their hands over warm chests and backs, and then Tony pushed Loki’s thighs apart and made a feast of his cock.

 

Tony was lovingly stroking up and down a pale leg with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around the erection in his mouth, and humming happily. This was just lovely. The privacy, the location, the distraction… They could spend all weekend in here, just pleasuring one another and pretending they had a whole summer ahead of the same to look forward too. Loki wouldn’t have to put clothes on again until Monday, they could just walk around naked and only pause their lovemaking for bathroom and food breaks.

 

Loki’s cry as he released pulled Tony out of his fantasy and his throat worked to drink everything he was being given.

 

He pulled himself off of Loki’s spent body and leaned back, looking smug. “You want to order food? Or do you need a nap after that?” he teased.

 

Loki kicked at him weakly and chuckled. “Haven’t you just eaten?”

 

“Mmm yes but I’m still hungry,” Tony murmured, draping himself across a panting body and leaning in for kisses.

 

oooooo

 

They didn’t make it out of the room that day. When the girls joined them they managed to go out and lie on the beach for two hours before sneaking off, claiming it was a bathroom run, and performing the beachy oral Tony had wanted.

 

The group opted for a seafood dinner at the restaurant Loki knew about and then sat out on the sand with cocktails afterward as they watched the sun go down. Their swimsuits were stale and dried on them, the towels were covered in sand, their sun glasses needed to be handled delicately with the tiny burns they all managed to accrue, but the day had been exactly what they needed. Loki had a wonderful birthday, the girls got a chance to remove themselves from their studies and just breathe, and Tony hadn’t cried once since they got there.

 

He woke up early the next morning to his phone ringing and slipped outside so he wouldn’t wake Loki, and found Natasha coming out of her room and heading for theirs. Tony silently motioned for her to go inside as he stepped away with the phone pressed to his ear.

 

Loki was still fast asleep in bed when she entered.

 

“Hey,” she called, shutting the door behind her and sounding miserable.

 

He started a bit, blinked at her, and lifted the covers. “Get in bed. I’m naked so keep your eyes closed,” he grumbled, voice still heavy with sleep.

 

“I’ve seen you naked,” she replied with a small smile. She was only wearing her sleep clothes, as well. The Russian beauty removed her shoes and crawled into bed next to her best friend, curling up against his side and sighing happily when his arm wrapped over her.

 

“I’m going to hug away your sad,” he vowed, emphasizing the statement with a squeeze.

 

Natasha shook her head into his shoulder. “Most of the time I don’t care, but I forgot how romantic the beach is,” she grumbled.

 

Loki nodded sleepily, his body unwilling to commit to a more passionate response. His arm gave a loose squeeze again and he sighed, ruffling her hair. “Go make out with a turtle,” he suggested, rather helpfully.

 

Her elbow did not find it particularly enlightening as it dug into Loki’s ribs.

 

“Why!” he whined, rolling away from her.

 

She gripped his shoulder and turned him back over to resume her cuddly position. “Hug away the sad, Loki.”

 

He grunted sleepily and squeezed her again. “You need to hug away my sad.”

 

Natasha scowled. “What sad? You’ve been in here all night having your cock sucked.”

 

She wasn’t wrong.

 

“But in a week it’s over,” Loki answered grimly, voice thick with something besides sleep.

 

“Screw love. It’s a trap,” she grumbled, returning the squeeze that he had given her.

 

And yes it fucking was.

 

It was early enough that the friends fell asleep after a few minutes, waking again briefly at the sound of Tony’s laugh when he opened the door and found Natasha draped over a naked Loki, but once the financier of the trip slipped back into bed the three of them fell back asleep. Had Pepper known an orgy was taking place in the next room she might have joined them in their miserable bed.

 

If Natasha hadn’t been in there Tony would have woken Loki up to tell him about the phone call he just received. Had it been anyone other than Obadiah calling him then it would have likely been ignored, given the early hour on a weekend – and on vacation no less – but Tony feared an emergency. Instead, his long time mentor told him of an exciting new business venture he would be undertaking this summer in Afghanistan as he met with the head of a new company that was interested in a partnership with Stark Industries. It was the first show of recognition of Tony’s ownership of the company and frankly he felt giddy over the assumed approval. But he could wait to tell Loki.

 

They still had a week.

 

oooooo

 

It was a tense week. Finals were nothing at this point, they were almost a reprieve from the things that were really weighing on Loki’s mind.

 

His room was nearly empty with most of his possessions either packed away in suitcases or tucked into giveaway boxes. It seemed likely that he would not want to live here any longer even after he came back from England, and a fresh clean start in whatever that new place ended up being meant getting rid of a lot of things.

 

Loki sat on the floor amidst the boxes while he sorted through an old folder of childhood artwork and debated whether or not his mother would actually appreciate keeping it or if he should just do her a favor and toss it himself. He was so caught up in this obviously life or death decision that he missed his father’s knock on the door and almost squeaked when Odin’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

 

“I just wanted to let you know that I heard about your classmate’s misfortune.”

 

Loki blinked at him, assuming he meant Tony, and was a second away from sputtering something rude and accusatory back when Odin continued.

 

“That Thanos boy, the story is that a concerned member of the community called immigration and after a short investigation it turned out that his papers were not current. He was deported immediately.”

 

Loki kept his jaw from dropping, but just barely.

 

“And that other boy, Fandral? The one you used to… well he dropped out of your school after losing his scholarship. I was told that someone noticed his grades were actually not in keeping with the academic policies required for getting money from the school. So it appears your university will be a bit lighter next year.”

 

It would have been difficult bordering on impossible for Loki to thank his father, because he knew who the callers were, but he was spared the possible attempt. Odin simply nodded at him and walked away to go about his business.

 

Simply losing his scholarship was not enough justice for what Fandral had done, but it was certainly a start – and it meant that Tony wouldn’t have to see him next year. Loki had no idea what country Thanos was from but he hoped it was somewhere far away and cold.

 

He wanted to cry but his eyes were fucking done with that. He was tired. He was tired of being sad and having his heart jerked around and this tiny reprieve gave him a small modicum of peace. This didn’t change things, Loki was still moving to London, but those horrible men were out of his life forever. That was at least something nice. Tony would be pleased to hear it, well maybe not pleased that he lost his chance to kill Thanos, but pleased on Loki’s behalf all the same.

 

Loki sighed and laid down on the floor, ignoring his projects, and covered his face with his arms. He was too young to be this exhausted.

 

His phone chirped and lit up with a message from Tony.

 

**_What if you get even paler in London?_ **

 

Loki snorted.

 

**_What if you look so much like a ghost that you turn invisible?_ **

****

**_Can I rub tanning lotion on your butt?_ **

****

**_Just your butt though._ **

****

**_I mean I’ll rub other stuff if you want, I’m just really focused on your butt._ **

****

He didn’t even get a chance to respond, it was just a monologue of texts. God he was going to miss this man. Loki pulled himself up off the ground and grabbed his car keys. Having his butt rubbed sounded like a perfect distraction from the oncoming _sad_ that was ready to pounce every time Loki let himself get contemplative for more than a minute.

 

And having Tony rub the other stuff sounded good too.

 

oooooo

 

Despite his violent attempts to create a time machine, the little fucker that keeps the clocks going had it’s shitty way and it was now the evening before Loki left. Tony’s stomach had hurt all day, like he was holding in angry gas, and it left him exceptionally irritated. Originally he had planned to show up at his lover’s door with wine (disguised as sparkling cider in case one of his parents answered), flowers, lube, all manner of good things! But now that this horrid beginning of their goodbye was here he was a mess. His keys were missing, he had knocked the wine over _onto_ the flowers and no amount of cursing made them look presentable.

 

Tony was in the middle of inventing a new and hateful purpose for all fingers besides his middle when his favorite ringtone pulled him out of the slew of nonsense curse words.

 

“Hey, boob. I’m about to head over there, sorry for the delay things keep happening and I can’t find my keys!” he scowled.

 

He heard Loki take a deep breath and then pause.

 

“No that’s okay, um. Tony I can’t go out tonight.”

 

At this point in the evening, it was just a punch in the gut that he should have been expecting. “What, are you serious?”

 

“My mom apparently planned a surprise goodbye dinner and Thor is moping about Jane –”

 

“Can I still come over and say goodbye to you?”

 

Loki sighed and huffed a small laugh. “If you didn’t I might kill you.”

 

They exchanged disappointed goodbyes and Tony promised to hurry. He wanted to beat Odin coming home to avoid awkwardness as much as possible.

 

Fuck all of this noise. He didn’t cry at the unpleasant turn of events, but his face was stuck in an expression that suggested he had smelled someone else’s fart. It wasn’t good.

 

oooooooo

 

“Hey,” Loki breathed as he stepped forward to wrap his arms around Tony. He was wearing one of his partner’s favorite outfits: black skinny jeans and a long sleeved grey shirt that clung to him like an ex. Clearly he had been just as excited for their date as Tony was, given by the amount of product Tony could smell on him, and it warmed his heart. He squeezed Loki tighter to his chest and hummed.

 

“Any chance you’ve changed your mind and now you want to spend all of next year in my bed?” Tony teased, giving his ass a fond cupping.

 

Loki laughed at him and lightly shoved at his chest. “I can hardly trust you not to abuse such a situation.”

 

“I’ll treat you real nice – I’ll bring you food and presents –”

 

Tony’s not-at-all joking bargaining was interrupted by a soft set of lips smooshing onto his. It was a reasonable exchange.

 

“Are you sure? Because my bed plans for you involve _a lot_ of kissing,” Tony murmured after their lips parted enough for speech.

 

“Hmm, and what else do you have planned?”

 

But why would anything ever go right? Why would Tony get to reply and suggest filthy and probably illegal things that he wants to do to Loki’s body? Of course Loki’s father would choose this moment to come home and interrupt their goodbye. Of course he wouldn’t announce himself until after Tony had reached around to palm Loki’s ass again.

 

He was highly considering taking up religion just so he could have someone to blame for this gross account of misfortune.

 

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Odin gruffed as he attempted to step around the couple. But he had already shrunk the boners and made Tony make the ‘stranger’s fart’ face again.

 

Loki sported a similar expression, and his ass had clenched in the bad way. “I swear he’s actively trying not to and he’s _ruining my life,_ ” he growled.

 

Tony nodded and traced a finger along Loki’s jaw. “Do you have to go?”

 

His lover nodded grimly and soured his expression further. “I sort of wish you were coming with me,” he murmured.

 

And he did. If things weren’t so stupid and complicated then he absolutely would take Tony with him. They’d fuck their way across London and laugh at how trivial everything had seemed back in the states and how dramatic they were. This was what Loki was counting on coming home to.

 

Maybe not every twenty year old feels like their life is this extremely important, once in a lifetime, first person ever to experience this, one hundred year long drama. Perhaps some of them are possessed with the perspective to lie back and don’t have to wait for the future to consider what they are going through trivial. Maybe they are lucky enough not to take themselves so seriously in the moment – or perhaps they are so possessed of good fortune that they never have to question those moments because they are so soundly aware of who they are and what is important to them and what _will_ be important to them throughout their life.

 

Loki wasn’t mature enough to stop taking himself too seriously. He was praying that a year in London, away from his family and his sex distraction would force him into the perspective he craved in order to move on and finally let himself be happy. He wanted to be able to resent his brother and father on his own terms, he hated feeling like it controlled him. Loki wanted to be his own man and make calculated decisions based on logical soundings and reason – no more of this emotional bullshit.

 

Odin called for Loki from inside the house. There was no end to his terrorism.

 

“I’ll miss you,” Loki whispered, squeezing him tight once more.

 

Tony made a strangled noise and clutched him back. “I’ll miss you too, princess.”

 

A horrid face appeared behind Loki and called for him once more. “Your mother says it’s time for dinner,” Odin said, more terse than was necessary.

 

Tony was willing to bet that Frigga didn’t realize he was standing out here or she would certainly never have interrupted their goodbyes – and she definitely would not have stood there and waited for them to part.

 

Loki gave his hand a small squeeze and smiled at him sadly. His lips mouthed ‘bye’ before he turned and went back into the house, shooting his father a glare as he did so. Odin gave Tony a strange look before nodding at him once and closing the door.

 

And that was it.

 

oooooooo

 

A/N: Epilogue coming soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will also be posted on:
> 
> http://bundtfuck.tumblr.com/
> 
> http://www.fanfiction.net/u/638037/
> 
> :D


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